48 replies to this topic

[Indecisive Individual]

There are a lot of buildings taller than the Empire State Building, it's just famous because of King Kong (and other appearances in films).

Thanks, I was going for something between that and the Sanctuary from Skulduggery Pleasant.

Destiny is on the Marked's side.
Unfortunately, no one else is.

I'll edit that when I can.

Referring to the vision at the end, which I was worried some might find too convenient.

Wotz, there are buildings that big that no one cares about. Someday there will be a skyscraper in London, and no one will care.

- Vorex

[Indecisive Individual]

I can double-post here, right? That's a rule, isn't it?

I think it is...

But, anyway, first off: an apology. I'm sorry there have been month-long gaps between chapters and I'd like to say it won't happen again, but that would be lying and y'all deserve better.

On another note, new chapter. Be happy. That's an eighth chapter. Lovely.

 

And then, in order to apologise yet more, a preview of something I'm working on that might never become a reality, but still.

 

- Indigo Individual

[Taka Nuvia]

Ah, I missed out on posting something regarding chapter 7 D: Sorry.

 

Anyways, good to know you're still updating this every now and then.

 

Story-wise, both 7 and 8 have been good chapters. ^^ It's interesting to see the characters in interatction, and that's a good thing because your story is character-driven :3

[Indecisive Individual]

It's 'kay.

The gaps are twice as long because the chapters are four times as long.

I'm glad, and Marked is definitely character-driven.

- Indigo Individual

[The Forbidden Entity]

Excellent chapter!

 

Bit 1: Loving the view Alex has on his powers. Hopefully it'll make for some interesting dilemmas in the future?

 

Bit 2: Annnnnnddddd... EERIE VISION TIME! Loving the spooky and mysterious nature of this vision. And does that C mean what I think it does?

 

Bit 3: Enter Thompson! Now, I like this character! His motives are unknown (maybe...), and he's clever enough to evade Crux.

 

Bit 4: Well, Crux doesn't seem too happy, does he? Wonder why...

 

Bit 5: Well Thompson sure is eager to find more Marked. More eager than the Marked themselves, in fact...

 

Bit 6: About time you had her find others!

 

Great chapter! Awaiting the next one!

 

-Scratch

[Indecisive Individual]

Excellent chapter!
 
Bit 1: Loving the view Alex has on his powers. Hopefully it'll make for some interesting dilemmas in the future?
 
Bit 2: Annnnnnddddd... EERIE VISION TIME! Loving the spooky and mysterious nature of this vision. And does that C mean what I think it does?
 
Bit 3: Enter Thompson! Now, I like this character! His motives are unknown (maybe...), and he's clever enough to evade Crux.
 
Bit 4: Well, Crux doesn't seem too happy, does he? Wonder why...
 
Bit 5: Well Thompson sure is eager to find more Marked. More eager than the Marked themselves, in fact...
 
Bit 6: About time you had her find others!
 
Great chapter! Awaiting the next one!
 
-Scratch

1: It will, don't worry.

2: I guess you'll have to...
*sunglasses*
wait and C
YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

3: It's not often you come across a character able to get past Crux.

4: You'll learn...

5: Thompson has his motivation.

6: I know, it's taken a while.

Hopefully it'll be up sooner rather than later, with my exams finishing up soon.

- Indecisive Individual

[Wotsiznaim]

ohai

 

Bit 1: I'm seeing some elements of yourself in Alex here, I likey. Also, Stephen reminds me somewhat of Proditor. Not sure whether that's good or bad.

 

Bit 2: *gasp* it's the drawing you showed me! Freaky.

 

Bit 3: Please tell me Thompson has a brother called Thomson.

 

Bit 4: Crux deeming blood precious seems like it's hinting at something but my inattentive self has not picked it up.

 

Bit 5: Thompson's a bit of a scary guy, I think. Scarier than Crux.

 

Bit 6: I can't put my finger on why, but I really like the way this whole section played out. It felt very natural and human, like a reminder that this is set in the real world. I mean, I'm no expert on girls, but I have a feeling they behaved pretty accurately.

 

This is it, Eve thought. Things are moving at last.

My thoughts exactly

 

Also, there are a few typos and formatting errors throughout, but I really couldn't be bothered with all the faff of making quote boxes and such so you can find them yourself if you like.

 

But yeah, this chapter was keeping with the same great standard set by Chapter 8, and improving on it in fact. It made me a lot more motivated to keep reading that some of the other chapters. Great job

[Indecisive Individual]

ohai

 

Bit 1: I'm seeing some elements of yourself in Alex here, I likey. Also, Stephen reminds me somewhat of Proditor. Not sure whether that's good or bad.

 

Bit 2: *gasp* it's the drawing you showed me! Freaky.

 

Bit 3: Please tell me Thompson has a brother called Thomson.

 

Bit 4: Crux deeming blood precious seems like it's hinting at something but my inattentive self has not picked it up.

 

Bit 5: Thompson's a bit of a scary guy, I think. Scarier than Crux.

 

Bit 6: I can't put my finger on why, but I really like the way this whole section played out. It felt very natural and human, like a reminder that this is set in the real world. I mean, I'm no expert on girls, but I have a feeling they behaved pretty accurately.

 

This is it, Eve thought. Things are moving at last.

My thoughts exactly

 

Also, there are a few typos and formatting errors throughout, but I really couldn't be bothered with all the faff of making quote boxes and such so you can find them yourself if you like.

 

But yeah, this chapter was keeping with the same great standard set by Chapter 8, and improving on it in fact. It made me a lot more motivated to keep reading that some of the other chapters. Great job

Bit 1: There may be some similarities, mostly because I'm the one writing him.

Also, I'm not sure if Stephen being similar to Proditor is a good thing.

 

Bit 2: I know, right?

 

Bit 3: No.

 

Bit 4: You'll figure it out, I think.

 

Bit 5: I'm glad that the antagonists are improving as each is revealed.

 

Bit 6: Thanks, Wotz. I was aiming for making it 'human'.

 

Might be another case of it being just the way I've worded/spelt it, because I know that that's been a thing in the past and I haven't seen any on any of my multiple checks on grammar and spelling throughout it.

 

I'm glad I've met and exceeded expectations and actually motivated you to read this.

 

- Indecisive Individual

[Shuhei Hisagi]

Alright, in return for your review, I'm obliged to review your first chapter ^^

Okay, so Damian. Did it ever establish why he was rich? I understand that he was a throwaway character meant to die all along, but I would've really felt that death had he been better established. And the other two characters I would've loved to see expanded on to set the stage.

But other than that, it was a great beginning, and I think I'll keep reading!