90 replies to this topic

[Elrond of Rivendell]

Pieism? There's an easy way to fix that. Isn't religious discussion supposed to be banned from BZPower?

Actually, don't use that. Forget I said it. However, don't forget this--NEVER LET TAHU DRIVE AGAIN!

No one can keep the holy religion of PIIII or PIE from spreading. It is inevitable.

I also concur with kapukar, DON'T LET TAHU DRIVE!

-Bane

[Lewa0111 Nuva]

Thanks for the replies!

@Kapurkar: Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately?), BZP's rules only apply to real religions, so Pieism can't be stopped that easily...Also, I agree. Never, EVER, let an insane angry pyromaniac raging Toa of Fire drive a vehicle. Ever.

The PIENuva PIEInn
A BIONICLE PIEcomedy by Pie!
Chapter 29: OF And The Pie OR "I Never Thought We'd Be Glad To See That Kraata"

Onua: It's in the title now, too? What is going on here?

Narrator: No, the title is actually called "OF And The Pie." But the pie in the first two lines of the title sequence is new...

Onua: I'm scared. Tava's taken this way too far.

Narrator: Even my Narrator Powers can't override it any more...and the Title Writing Guy will probably succumb soon, too.

Onua: Then we'd better stop this crazy religion, and fast.

Narrator: As much as I hate to say this, I agree with you. This time. Anyway, today we find the Toa Nuva having locked themselves in the Inn, trying to come up with a plan to stop pie from taking over.

Lewa: This has officially become a bad situation. And he was one of us, too!

Gali: Scary the way these things happen...

Lewa0111: The worst part is that pie has now become so powerful it can apparently override author powers!

Lewa0111, Narrator, CWG, and TWG: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

*knock*

Lewa: OH NO THE PIE IS COMING TO INFECT US ALL WITH TAVANESS HIDE!!

BEC: No, wait, it's just that random sugar-bringing Matoran.

*BEC opens the door, and the Matoran drops off several bags of sugar at the front desk, which BEC promptly eats*

BEC: WoohooyayIdon'tcareaboutpierightnowbecauseI'msuperhyperwheeeeeeeee! Ilovebeinghyperitssomuchfun!!

Fred: And here I was hoping that the one good thing about Pieism was that it would keep the sugar away...

BEC: Nobodycankeepsugarawayfrommeit'swhatIliveforandwithoutitIwouldn'tbehyper!

Fred: Why am I not surprised?

*knock*

Lewa: OH NO THIS TIME IT REALLY IS THE PIE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

Takanuva: No.

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Lewa: Hey, Kopaka, you want to join me in my screaming? How nice of you!

Gali: No, wait, it's just a guest.

Onua: You're kidding me, right? Someone actually wants to stay?

*The door opens, and a brown version of Toa Onewa walks in*

Onua: Hey, Caption Writing Guy! Isn't Toa Onewa already brown?

*Umm...uh...hey, look, a distraction!*

Pohatu: Ooh, where? I love distractions!

Onua: :facepalm:

BEC: HithereToawelcometoTheNuvaInndoyouwanttostay?

Toa:

Fred: *sigh* Here we go again...

Recording of BEC: Hi there, Toa! Welcome to The Nuva Inn! Do you want to stay?

Toa: Yes, I'd like a room for two nights. My name is OF.

BEC: Weirdwhatdoesthatstandfor?

Recording of BEC: Weird, what does that stand for?

OF: Onewa Fan.

Lewa: Weird name.

*A ceiling fan with the word "Onewa" on it randomly falls down from the ceiling*

OF: Not that kind of fan!

Fan: Aww...

*The fan levitates back up to the ceiling*

Gali: Well, sorry to say this, Onewa Fan, but we're closed right now, so you can't stay. Maybe you could try coming back after the Pieism saga is over?

OF: Pieism saga? What's that?

BEC: It'skindofalongstorybutbasicallyapieobsessedMatoranwhousedtoworkheredecidedtoworshippieandnowit'stakingoverthecomedybecauseitgotwaytoooutofhand!

OF: What did he say?

Fred: Hold on, one second...

Recording of BEC: It's kind of a long story, but basically, a pie-obsessed Matoran who used to work here decided to worship pie, and now it's taking over the comedy because it got way too out of hand!

Fred: How did you even say that whole sentence without running out of breath!?!?!?!? ...On second thought, I don't want to know.

Pohatu: Pie the way, I love exclamation--

Onua: YOU'RE BEING INFECTED TOO!!

Takanuva: Pie.

Kopaka: PPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!

OF: Pie pie pie? Pie--PIEPIEPIE! PIE!

Gali: Pie pie pie

Lewa: Pie! (in mind) What's happening? I can't say anything except Pie now!

Tahu: Pie! (in mind) Uh-oh...this really isn't good...

*Suddenly, the words on the sign outside change to "The PIEPIE Pie"*

Everyone:

*Slightly less suddenly, the words on the sign change back to normal*

Lewa: Whoa, what happened there? The sign just--hey, I can talk again! Cool!

*The Kraata of Letter Control slithers in*

KLC: I was going to do something insane, but it looks like you have enough insanity to deal with as it is.

Onua: Wait, what's going on here?

KLC: I changed the letters of PIE to make you all talk normally again! Nobody but me and the KNC are allowed to mess with the sign!

Gali: Wow, I never thought we'd actually be glad to see you...

KLC:

Lewa: I say we stop the pie before it gets any worse, now that we can talk again. Everyone, let's get in the car and head back to Tava, right now! KLC, OF, you can come too.

OF: Okay, let's go! *sees the computer at the front desk* COMPUTER GAMES!? AWIOEJHAIOSJFKLJIOWIEJIJFJIFNKJSVNAKHSUIWEJHRUIWHUITHG!!

*OF runs over to the computer and starts playing video games on it*

Lewa: ...Or you can just stay here and play computer games. Should we wait for him to finish?

Takanuva: No.

Kopaka: PPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!

Everyone:

Kopaka: Just kidding!

Lewa: Don't do that again.

*They go to the car (that was magically repaired from the crash in the last chapter) and Tahu gets in the driver's seat*

Gali: Don't you even think about it.

Tahu:

Gali: I'll drive this time.

*They all drive (calmly) to the Church of Pieism, without OF, who's still busy in the Inn playing computer games*

Tava: PIE!!

Pieism Members: PIE!!

Tava: PI!!

Pieism Members: PI!!

Tava: PIE!!

Pieism Members: PIE!!

*Tava sees Lewa and co.*

Tava: STOP! I mean, PIE!

*The Pieism members stop "singing"*

Tava: So, does this mean you've changed your mind? Are you ready to embrace the wonder that is Pie?

Takanuva: No.

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!

Tava: This is no time for jokes! This is serious, Pie is a sacred and important topic! And now, to be a stereotypical villain, I shall reveal my ultimate plan to you.

Lewa: Your ultimate plan?

Tava: Yes. It is to replace BIONICLE with...PIEONICLE!!1

Dramatic Music: Dun dun DAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Onua: Sorry, I accidentally hit the "play" button.

*Onua shuts off his boom box playing "Dramatic Music Vol. 2"*

Gali: Tava, why did you just tell us your plan?

Tava: I already told you, I wanted to be a stereotypical villain! Besides, it doesn't matter, because now the great Blueberry Pie will hypnotize you all, starting with Lewa0111 himself!!

Dramatic Music: Dun dun DAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Gali: ONUA!

Onua: Okay, that time wasn't me, that was actually background music.

Gali: Oh.

Lewa: But Tava, you can't hypnotize the author! If you do, the comedy won't be able to continue, he will be turned into a spammer who just posts about pie in every topic, and he will be banned again, and this comedy will be closed by the BZPower moderators!

Everyone but Lewa:

Tava: Who cares? It's too late.

Takanuva: No.

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!

Lewa: NEVER! I will stop you!

*Lewa charges toward the altar of Blueberry Pie in slow motion with his air katana, dives, but trips over a piece of pie on the ground, misses the altar, and falls flat on his face*

Tahu: I'll stop you instead!

*Tahu runs forward but trips over Lewa*

Takanuva: If you want something done...I guess you have to do it yourself.

*Takanuva runs forward and blasts the Blueberry Pie with light, which somehow creates an explosion that knocks Takanuva and the pie into an inconveniently placed pool of Energized Protodermis*

Tava: No! This cannot be!

Onua: At least the pie is gone now...

Tahu: That's gotta hurt.

Gali: Wait! The Energized Protodermis is bubbling!

*The pool bubbles violently, and then Takanuva emerges, but he's all...er...pieish*

PieTakaBlueNuva: I am PieTakaBlueNuva!

Lewa: Weird name.

Onua: You know you didn't have to say your name. We can read it in the text before your line.

PieTakaBlueNuva: I know, but this way it's more dramatic.

Tava: Umm...what is going on here?

PieTakaBlueNuva: Tava, listen to me. Pieism is not a real religion, and Blueberry Pie doesn't have any power. You've taken your obsession way too far this time. Go home and just be normally obsessed with pie, instead of starting a saga over it.

Tava: I'm sorry! It won't happen again, I promise!

PieTakaBlueNuva: Good.

*PieTakaBlueNuva picks up Tava and throws him all the way back to The Nuva Inn, then eats the church*

Gali: Great! It's finally over.

PieTakaBlueNuva: Now we can all go home. Finally!

*PieTakaBlueNuva unfuses back into Takanuva*

Lewa: What a relief.

Tahu: Wait, what's that over there?

*Tahu points to a second Kraata of Letter Control slithering around by the pool of Energized Protodermis*

KLC2: I sure hope this floor isn't slippery...YIKES!

*KLC2 slips on the floor and falls in, and a Rahkshi suit pops out*

Original KLC: Woohoo! Now I can be a Rahkshi!

*The KLC climbs into the Rahkshi suit*

Rahkshi of Letter Control (RLC): This is awesome! Now I can wreak havoc on letters even more! Bye!

*The RLC runs off somewhere*

Tahu: That was random.

Onua: Though honestly, I'd rather deal with a Rahkshi of Letter Control than with pie taking over everything...

Lewa: I concur.

Nuju: My line!

Lewa: Get out of here.

*Lewa shoves Nuju into a time-comedy warp vortex, and they all drive home (with Tahu shoved into a straightjacket in the trunk)*

Lewa0111: Well, at least it's all back to normal now. And I don't have to worry about losing my author powers!

Gali: And Tava learned that Pieism isn't a real religion.

Onua: Also we all learned that it's a bad idea ever to take Tahu's suggestions literally. Or to let Tahu drive.

Tahu: I'm right here, you know...

Onua: I know!

BEC: GreatnowTava'sbacktonormalsohecanmakememoresugarpies!

Gali: There's something that's still bothering me, though. If Pieism isn't real and pie doesn't really have mystical powers, then how did Takanuva fuse with the Blueberry Pie to begin with?

Everyone:

THE END

Onua: Wow, that has got to be the shortest saga ever. Only two chapters! Does that make it a mini-saga?

Narrator: No, it's just a short regular saga.

Onua: I'm just relieved that it's over. And best of all, we didn't have to deal with any comedy crossovers!

Narrator: Great, now you've probably jinxed it.

Onua: How could I have jinxed it? What, do you really think it will continue? Pieism's beaten! This whole thing is over!

Narrator: Well, you never know.

Bob the Word Counting Pietoran: This chapter has 1,669 pies.

Onua: Great, me and my big mouth...

~Lewa# Piedios

Lewa0111 Nuva

[Dralcax]

Pietoran?

[Toa Kapurkar--Rail Blazer]

Pietoran?

Onua jinxed the endtro by saying Pieism was done and done. Thus, it made one final appearance.

I thought you knew, Gali. Anything that falls into a pool of Energized Protodermis with another object fuses with it. It's basic.

[Elrond of Rivendell]

Is it over??? Or is there something more sinister behind this??? Tune in next time for the pie pie....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-BANE

[Lewa0111 Nuva]

I hate midterm exams. That is all.
Anyway, here is a new update of TNI (finally) for your reading enjoyment!

The Pie Inn
A PIEONICLE comedy by Pie!
Chapter PIE30: The Nuva Inn meets Ask Matau! OR I never thought I'd be doing one of these "meets" things...

Onua: Oh, you've got to be kidding me. I'm really sick of this saga already. PIE

Narrator: I warned you not to jinx it...PIE

Onua: Somehow this is your fault. PIE

Narrator: My fault? How is this my fault? PIE

Onua: You're the narrator, you should be able to fix this! PIE

Narrator: We've already been over this: the pie is immune to author powers! PIE

Onua: Well, I don't want to be saying PIE at the end of every sentence. PIE

Narrator: Anyone know where that Kraata--err, Rahkshi--went off to? PIE

RLC: Did somebody call me?

Oeaonuaaa: Yes, wii knead U two ficks this pi porbelm...HEY! PIE

RLC: Sorry, couldn't resist. Here, I'll fix it.

*The RLC shoots a blast out of his alphabet-shaped staff*

Onua: Finally. Normal at last!

Narrator: Well, that was easy. Thanks, Rahkshi of Letter Control!

RLC: No problem. Now I'm off to time-comedy warp into a bunch of other Lewa0111 comedies, bye!

*The RLC jumps into a time-comedy warp portal and vanishes*

Onua: Well, that was odd.

Narrator: ...

Onua: What?

Narrator: I'm still waiting for you to complain about the title.

Onua: Oh, right, thanks for reminding me!

Narrator:

Onua: So, why exactly is this chapter about asking Lewa's Turaga stuff? I thought we had a saga to take care of.

Narrator: No, I'm talking about Toa Matau.

Onua: Wait, so Matau's a Toa? But then why are we Toa Nuva in Metru Nui if the Turaga are still Toa Metru and how is Sidorak still alive and what about Nidhiki and Krekka and...oh, never mind, I give up.

Narrator: It's a Lewa0111 comedy. That explains everything.

Onua: Of course.

Narrator: Well, for now, we open the chapter with the Toa Nuva trying to figure out how the pie is still taking over everything.

Lewa: So, if Tava's back to normal and the Church of Pieism is inside Takanuva's stomach, then why is pie still taking over everything?

Tava: Hey, don't look at me!

*Pohatu looks at him*

Tava: Can't say I didn't warn you! Pi in the face!

Gali: Don't you mean "Pie?"

Tava: No, I meant pi!

*Tava starts bombarding Pohatu with all of the numbers of Pi*

Gali: Oh, I see.

Fred: Is it possible that the Blueberry Pie might somehow still be alive?

Takanuva: No.

Lewa: Kopaka, if you dare so much as think about screaming "Pie," so help me...

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Lewa: Phew.

Onua: But there's no way the Blueberry Pie could still be alive! I mean, it's just pie, no matter how obsessed Tava was over it. It doesn't have any powers...right?

Gali: Takanuva did manage to fuse with it, though. It probably has powers we don't know about...

Everyone:

BEC: OhnowhatdowedoIdon'tknowthisisreallyscaryohwellmaybemyhypernesswillsaveusallbecausehypernessistheanswertoeverything!

Fred: Why are you so hyper? *glances at watch* Oh, never mind, I know.

Onua: Wait, but you're a Kraata! How can you have a watch if you don't have any hands?

*The watch vanishes*

Fred: By ignoring the plothole.

Onua: Oh, I see.

Gali: Well, unless anyone has any better ideas, I say we should go to where the Church of Pieism used to be. Maybe there will be some clues there.

Lewa: How about we stay here and I go to the Manager's Suite and do managery things instead?

Everyone but Lewa:

Lewa: Fine, let's go.

OF: Hey, can I come too?

Pohatu: Where'd you come from?

OF: Dunno. Weird...

*Tahu runs to the driver's seat of the "car," but vines sprout from the ground and strangle him*

Fred: Don't you even think about it.

Tahu:

Everyone but Tahu: THANK YOU!

*Before they can drive away, they suddenly see a group of people walking up to the hotel, consisting of the following: three Toa Metru, six Visorak, a Rahkshi with a emoticon for a head, a computer tied to a mine cart, and...ANOTHER LEWA0111!?!?!?!?!?*

Pohatu:

*DON'T USE THAT JOKE!*

Lewa: Whoa, weird. Who are those people? Maybe they want to stay?

Gali: We should really get going on our mission...

Lewa: MONEY!!

Gali: *sighs* Never mind.

Lewa0111: Hey! It's the other me!

Everyone: HUH?????

Lewa0111: Well, you see, I write this other comedy in addition to this one, called Ask Matau!, and so...

Everyone: :doubleblink:

Onua: That's not even a real emoticon!

*Lewa0111 materializes outside the Inn, and runs up and starts talking to his other self*

AM!!Lewa0111: Hey, it's the other me!

TNI!Lewa0111: Hi there, me! Weirdly, this is the second time I've met another version of myself so far, believe it or not.

AM!!Lewa0111: Huh, go figure. So what's with all the pie?

TNI!Lewa0111: Well, one of my characters took his obsession a bit too far, and started a pie religion, and then author powers couldn't affect it, and...

AM!!Lewa0111: You really need some comedy tips, me.

*Back with the BIONICLE characters...*

Gali: Hi! Can I take your order?

BEC: Thisisn'tafastfoodplaceandthatwasLewa'slinebutIdon'tcarebecauseyoutookmyjob!

Matau: Umm...

BEC: HiwhatcanIdoforyou?

Matau: I'm Toa Matau, the greatest Toa-Hero in existence, and we need a place to stay!

BEC: Okhowmanydoyouneed?

Matau: Well, we're the Fellowship of the DVD, and there are a lot of us. So just a really big room.

BEC: Okgotityou'reinroom213.

Pohatu: Finally! Just one flight of stairs!

Lewa: Umm, what's with the "Fellowship of the DVD?"

Matau: We're looking for Bob the Pirate. He stole my Ask Matau! Season 1 DVD.

Lewa: Funnily enough, we're on a quest too. We're trying to figure out where all of this pie is coming from.

Matau: Maybe it's from the same place where Bob the Pirate is hiding. Apparently it's in Ga-Metru.

Lewa: We have no idea where to start looking. Ga-Metru is as fine a place as any.

Matau: Okay, great! Let's go tomorrow morning.

*Matau goes into the room and starts putting up posters of himself on all the walls*

Nokama: I need to use the bathroom.

BEC: ButBIONICLEcharactersdon'tgotothe...nevermind! Seconddoorontherightwhenyouwalkpastthecheesefountain. It'sbehindtheicerink.

Roporak: CHEESE FOUNTAIN!?

*Roporak runs hyperly into the Inn and dives into the cheese fountain*

Onua: ...Since when did we have a cheese fountain?

Takanuva: Since I built it last night! I thought it would make a nice addition.

Onua: *sighs*

Vohtarak: Hey, is there a computer in there?

Fred: Yes, but this guy named OF is on the other one.

*Vohtarak runs hyperly inside and starts playing MNOG2 on the other computer*

Whenua: Sorry about all of this. We must seem ridiculously insane to you.

Takanuva: No.

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!

Lewa: Trust me, we're used to insanity here.

Whenua: Oh, I see.

BEC: WHEEEEEEEEEEI'MHYPERLET'SGODOSOMETHINGRIGHTNOWWOOHOO!

Gali: Well, we can't do anything yet. Let's wait until tomorrow morning.

BEC: NowayIwanttobehyperandrunaroundandgoonadventuresrightnowIcan'twaitfortomorrow!

Fred: Only he would be this excited about nothing.

Lewa: Okay, well, let's just go to sleep. Narrator, cue the chronological caption.

Narrator: Okay!

*CHRONOLOGICAL CAPTION TIME! NEXT MORNING!*

*Tahu runs into the Manager's Suite*

Tahu: OUCH!

Lewa: Groan...what's that racket? Tahu, go away, I'm having an awesome dream.

Tahu: Sorry, I accidentally the Manager's Suite.

Lewa: Accidentally what the Manager's Suite? ...You know what, never mind. We already used that joke in the Lariska chapter.

Tahu: But that's my new catchphrase! I want to have my own running joke!

Lewa: You already have one, it's called "BURN STUFF!!11one."

Tahu: But that's not original! I like my accidentally joke better.

Lewa: Well, stop trying to make it into a joke. It'll never catch on. Was this the whole reason you woke me up?

Tahu: No, I came to get you because we need to go on our adventure! It's the next morning, remember? We have to stop the pie!

Lewa: Oh, right, I forgot about that. Just meet me in the garage in five minutes.

Tahu: We have a garage?

Lewa: TAKANUVA!

*Takanuva somehow hears him from 9,321 stories down, and creates a garage instantly*

Lewa: Now we do!

*73 minutes later...*

Lewa: Okay, let's go!

Gali: Lewa, you told us five minutes! You're 68 minutes late! What took you so long?

Lewa: Umm, I was too busy watching all of my scenes in Mask of Light! ...I mean, definitely doing manager stuff. Yep. Totally.

Onua: Right, okay, whatever. BEC, go bring the Ask Matau! group here, okay?

BEC: Sureberightback!

*0.0000000000000000000001 milliseconds later, BEC runs back into the garage with the entire Fellowship of the DVD balanced on his head*

BEC: Hereyougo!

Matau: Oww! Hey, what's the big idea?

BEC: Yippeewehavetogobecauseit'sadventuretime!

Gali: Wait, hold on a second. If we're all going to stop the pie, then who will hold down the fort?

Lewa: Easy, Tava, OF, and Zaktan will!

Pohatu: There's a fort? Where? Why haven't I noticed it before?

Gali: That was rhetorical.

Onua: You know, somehow letting those three watch the hotel seems like a bad idea.

Gali: Do you have any better ideas?

Onua: No...

Gali: Exactly.

Lewa: Okay, let's go, everyone!

*Takanuva pulls a second Ussanui out of nowhere and superglues it to the back of the first one so that the Ask Matau! characters can fit*

Tahu: Yes! Driving time!

Everyone but Tahu: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Tahu: Too late!

*Tahu drives the extended car out of the garage...through the wall*

Matau: Are you insane? I could drive this thing ten times better than you!

Tahu: Yeah, right. I'd like to see you try.

Matau: GLADLY!

Keelerak: Something tells me this won't end well...

Whenua: I agree. Hey, wait a second, where's Lewa0111?

Gali: Our Lewa0111, or yours?

Whenua: Either of them.

Onua: They're over there.

*Onua points to where the two Lewa0111s are still talking*

Matau: Whatever, just leave them there. Let's go!

THE END

Onua: Oh, come on, that's the worst cliffhanger ever!

Narrator: There's been worse. It's not the worst cliffhanger ever...

Onua: Stuck on the car with Tahu and/or Matau driving? Come on.

Narrator: What, do you really think they would be driving when the chapter is over?

Onua: Yes...

*SCREECH!! CRASH! BANG!*

Random Matoran: Hey, that's my house you just smashed through!

Onua: I rest my case.

*Five hours later, the two Lewa0111s are STILL talking*

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 1,680 words.

~Lewa# Studios

(The story continues in Ask Matau!)

Lewa0111 Nuva

[Toa Kapurkar--Rail Blazer]

Long...chapter...too...many...words...ugh...

I totally understand it, though. I do believe Takanuva will be rebuilding a lot of structures when all is said and done.

[Lewa0111 Nuva]

The PIEPIE Inn
A PIEONICLE comedy by Pie!
Chapter PIE31: A Little More Pieness OR How did I ever stop talking to the other me!?!?!?!?!?

Pohatu: By the way, I--

Gali: *SLAP!*

Everyone Else: Thank you!

Nokama: I like this girl already.

Onua: Hey, Narrator! I just realized something. Weren't we at a cliffhanger at the end of last chapter?

Narrator: Yeah, so...?

Onua: And didn't said cliffhanger end with all of us in the car being driven by Tahu and/or Matau, of all people?

Narrator: Yes...

Onua: SO SHOULDN'T WE BE SCREAMING OUR HEADS OFF RIGHT NOW?

Narrator: No, I froze time for the intro so that I would get to say my usual introduction. Last time, the Toa Nuva and the cast of Ask Matau! met up and began to drive away from the hotel, being driven by the two worst drivers in the group. And that part of the story was continued in Ask Matau!. So now we begin just as the car is about to plummet to the ground from 1,000 miles in the air.

Onua: ...I hate you. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

*CRASH!!*

Everyone:

Vohtarak: Oww...my precious computer-game-playing head...

Matau: If I'd been in control, I could easily have landed that!

Nokama: Sure you could...

Lewa: Does anyone even remember what we were supposed to be doing in the first place? Besides driving like maniacs through Metru Nui, I mean.

Takanuva: No.

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Lewa0111: You're going to find out where the pie is coming from, remember? And apparently Matau's DVD will be there, too.

Takanuva: Hey, wow! You're not talking to yourself anymore! It's a miracle!

Lewa0111: I WASN'T TALKING TO MYSELF! I WAS TALKING TO THE OTHER ME!!

Takanuva: Same thing.

Lewa0111: No.

Kopaka2333: AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Everyone:

Lewa0111: That was weird.

Keelerak: Is it just me, or is that roadkill over there? *points*

Onua: Visorak can point?

*They all run over to the "roadkill"*

Gali: Is it really roadkill?

Takanuva: No.

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!

BEC: It'sdefinitelynotroadkillbecausetomeitlooksmorelikeasquishedpie!

Fred: How are you still hyper? We aren't even at the Inn!

BEC: Itooktheextrastrengthlonglastingsugar!

Fred: ...They make that?

Onua: Wait a second, since vehicles hover, then how did that pie get run over?

BEC: Becausethesugardiditobviously!

Fred: Shut up.

Nokama: If I had to take a guess, I'd say it had something to do with Tahu and Matau being allowed to drive.

Tahu & Matau: HEY!

Gali: You have a point there.

Lewa: You know, it's a good thing Tava's not here. I wonder what he's doing now...

*Back at The Nuva Inn*

OF: I'm bored...

Tava: I know! Wanna hear me recite pi to 80 quadrillion decimal places?

OF: Not really.

Tava: Great! Here I go! 3.141592653589793223...

*OF groans*

Zaktan: Where are all the trash cans around here?

OF: I confiscated them.

Zaktan: HOW DARE YOU, YOU STUPID EXCUSE FOR A GUEST STAR!

Tava: ...928739048608127340876259827438527043867087408375082765...

*knock*

OF: Finally! A distraction!

*OF opens the door, and Toa Onewa walks in*

OF: TOA ONEWA I DON'T BELIEVE IT IT'S REALLY YOU!!

Onewa: Umm...what?

Tava: ...9273605812763457028760982374965209854923659876951487983792856...

Onewa: What's he doing?

OF: Reciting pi.

Onewa: Weird. Is he always like this?

OF: Yeah, pretty much. Anyway, what did you want? Our usual staff's busy on a random quest, so I'm in charge here. Along with this pi-obsessed Toa and Zaktan. Can I get your autograph? I'm your biggest fan!

Onewa: Umm...I guess so...

*Onewa signs OF's mask*

OF: YAY!

Onewa: Okay, look, I'm here trying to find Matau and his group. I finally made it back here from Pluto, and now they're gone!

OF: Why do you want to find them?

Onewa: FOR REVENGE! Umm...I mean...to help them! Yeah! Obviously.

OF: Oh, okay then. That seems reasonable. They left with the Nuva off toward Ga-Metru.

Onewa: Thanks! But I'm tired from walking all the way here from Pluto. Can I stay a night?

OF: Sure, just check in at the front desk.

Tava: I'm the temporary front desky person!

Onewa: Okay, I'd like a room for the night.

Tava: That'll be 3.14 pies.

Onewa:

*Back with the Nuva and co...*

Takanuva: Weird. It looks like there's a whole trail of squished pies leading off that way! It seems to be going in the general direction of Ga-Metru.

Lewa: I wonder if this is some kind of trap?

Gali: NO, I think that these pies obviously just happened to land in a perfectly straight line leading away from where Tava's church used to be!

Pohatu: Wait, seriously? What an amazing coincidence!

Gali: *anime style faint*

Lewa: Since when could we do that in TNI?

Lewa0111: Since I thought it would be funny.

Lewa: Cool, I want to try! *anime style faint*

BEC: Myturntofaintnowbeforethehypernesswearsoff! *anime style faint*

Fred: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! *midair anime style faint*

Tahu: Let me try! *anime style faint*

Takanuva: *anime style faint*

Kopaka: *anime style faint*

Onua: Wow, we learn new skills every day! *anime style faint*

Pohatu: What? What did I say? Oh well. *anime style faint*

Matau: Umm...guys? WAKE UP! We have a quest to go on, remember? I need my DVD back!

Nokama: That was just weird.

Boggarak: They probably all fainted just to drag out this horrible crossover longer.

Keelerak: Stop being such a pessimist.

TNI!Lewa0111: Well, since this is the topic for The Nuva Inn, I guess we just wait until they wake up...?

AM!!Lewa0111: What's with the anime faints, anyway?

TNI!Lewa0111: To be honest, I'm not sure. I thought it would be funny, and then before long, the entire cast did it.

AM!!Lewa0111: You STILL need some comedy tips, me.

TNI!Lewa0111: Don't remind me.

AM!!Lewa0111: So when do we start again?

TNI!Lewa0111: In Ask Matau!, of course!

AM!!Lewa0111: Right, that makes sense. My turn to author!

Keelerak: But "author" isn't a verb...

Both Lewa0111s: WHO ASKED YOU!?

THE END

Narrator: ...Onua? Onua?

Whenua: He's still fainted.

Narrator: Oh, right! Hey, awesome! An entire extro to myself! ...Wait, did I just call it an "extro?" ARGH!

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 983 words. Huh, that's short.

~Lewa# Studios

Lewa0111 Nuva

[Toa Kapurkar--Rail Blazer]

Has anyone told you, Lewa0111, that you post chapters too quickly? How else do you expect to receive a fair number of replies?

As for the chapter itself, I'm not sure how a hovering car managed to find itself 1,000 feet in the air. A flying car yes, but not a hover car.

I guess Onua's influence has rubbed off onto the narrator. Besides, "extro" sounds cool.

[Toa of Gallifrey]

OH MY GOSH! If Both Lewa0111s (new word) are in TNI then how are the AM sets?
*Gali1000 is at The Mahrii Inn so everything at the AM sets is random chaos*

[Lewa0111 Nuva]

As you all probably know from my recent blog post, I am officially back from the most recent hiatus. MAJOR apologies for my long absence once again. Anyway, a new chapter of TNI is now available for your reading enjoyment!

The Pieva Inn
A PIEONICLE comedy by Pie!
Chapter PIE32: Continued From Ask Matau! OR When Will The Pieness End?

*Last time, the crossover saga continued in Ask Matau!, and the Toa Nuva helped Matau answer some questions while waiting. Waiting for what, you might ask? Well, for our two authors to STOP SPENDING HOURS ON END TALKING TO EACH OTHER, that's what!*

Lewa0111: Hey, CWG! Keep that up, and you'll be fired next!

* *

Lewa0111: That's better. The other me left to go and oversee Ask Matau!, so that won't happen again, anyway. Narrator, go ahead and start.

Narrator: Gladly! Today, we join the Toa Nuva and the cast of Ask Matau!, still en route to Ga-Metru.

Onua: Can I bring up something that's been bothering me lately?

Narrator: No...

Onua: Great, thanks. Because the fact is that all of the entire last Ask Matau! chapter, we accomplished absolutely nothing except waited for the two authors to finish talking! Which makes that a completely pointless filler episode!

Narrator: I said no!

Kopaka: And I said AAAAAAAAAA...oh, wait, you're not Takanuva. My bad.

Onua & Narrator:

Narrator: At any rate, you said so yourself that you accomplished something. The authors aren't talking to each other for hours on end anymore, now, are they? So therefore it wasn't technically a filler.

Onua: Well, we've pretty much done the same thing with the authors for every chapter of the quest. They all start out all "Lol, the authors are talking, let's sit around and wait for them to finish, lolololol!"

Narrator: ...

Onua: What?

Narrator: Did you just pronounce the word "Lol" out loud? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Onua: ...I hate you. Again.

Narrator: Well, with that out of the way, we join the extremely understaffed group remaining in The Nuva Inn as Tava tries to singlehandedly run the entire hotel by themselves.

Onua: Okay, I have to admit, at least that's original. For once we aren't starting with the quest group.

Narrator: Yay, I finally impressed Onua with something!

Onua: ...Don't get too excited. It was a one-time thing.

Narrator: Whatever. Anyway, back to Tava.

Tava: Thank you, you're in room 563421. That'll be 193,222,109 pies please.

Random Matoran #35: Here you go!

*Random Matoran #35 dumps a huge pile of pies onto the front desk*

Tava: PIE! Zaktan, you can be the bellbottom for him. Carry his luggage up to the 563rd story.

Zaktan: But I'm busy janitating by tossing everything into trash cans! We sure are understaffed...

Tava: Fine, then make Onewa Fan do it!

Zaktan: Good point. Where is that guy, anyway?

*They both glance over to see OF sitting at the computer playing games*

Zaktan: HEY, YOU! GET UP AND HELP! WE NEED A BELLBOTTOM!

OF: It's bellboy, and I'm busy.

Zaktan: Fine, then, take this!

*Zaktan tosses a trash can at OF, but somehow misses and hits Tava instead*

Tava: Mmmf mmfmmmff mmmmmf! (Translation: Help! There's no pies in here!)

Zaktan: OF, you're next! Get up and help already!

OF: No way! I'm busy!

Zaktan: Being on the computer isn't an excuse!

OF: No, you're right. So now I'm in the pool instead!

*OF jumps in the pool*

Zaktan: *sighs* The one place I can't go to bury you in trash cans! Oh well. I'll just carry the bags up myself, then.

OF: Woo hoo! This is fun! Let's try the hot tub now!

Tava: *jumps out of the trash can* Wait, OF, don't--

*OF jumps into the hot tub (which is still full of the Energized Protodermis from Chapter 4) and there's a hissing noise*

Zaktan: YES! Finally, he's gone!

Tava: But now you can't throw him into trash cans anymore...

Zaktan: That's okay, I'll just use you for that instead!

Tava: Uh-oh.

*The hot tub starts bubbling like crazy, and then suddenly OF comes out of the EP as a Toa*

OF: I am Onewa Fan, Toa of Obsessions!

*OF blasts Zaktan with an obsession ray*

Zaktan: I like chairs! Chairs! CHAIRS!! Wheeeeeee!!

OF: I guess my powers aren't exactly tested yet...

Zaktan: CHAIRS!!

*Zaktan starts running around hyperly and sitting on every chair in the hotel*

OF: Does this Toa thing have a "reverse" button?

Tava: Never mind, leave him to me. PIE!

*Tava bakes an anti-obsession pie in five seconds and pies Zaktan in the face with it*

Zaktan: Where am I? And why do I suddenly have a lingering desire to sit in a bunch of chairs?

OF: Well, at least he's back to normal. Now what? I've got Toa powers...

Tava: Well, we could always think about going to help the others. After we take care of this huge mob of Matoran standing outside the door...

Huge Mob of Matoran: WE WANT TO STAY! WE WANT TO STAY!!

Tava, OF, and Zaktan: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!

Narrator: Back with the Toa Nuva and Matau's group, everyone is pretty much just sitting around. Kopaka has a portable DVD player for some reason...hey, what a boring scene! Onua was right.

Onua: HA!

Narrator: I am never saying those words again, I swear...

Takanuva: You know, guys, we should think of something better to do than just sit here. PIE Every second that we waste, PIE the pie is PIE taking over! PIE See what I mean?

Lewa: Where's that PIE stupid Rahkshi PIE when you PIE need him?

Mutaoo: Yuo meen this own? PIE

RLC: Ha, ha!

Lewpa: Oh, just shut up PIE and get PIE rid of the pie in our sentences.

RLC: Fine. There you go!

Lewa: Finally. On the bright side, at least we're back in our own comedy again.

Tahu: I agree with Takanuva, though. We should get going! Everybody in the car, I'm driving!!

Fred: NO!! *strangles Tahu with vines*

Everyone else: Thank you!

Gali1: Well, I think we should just stop sitting around and follow that trail of pies we spotted earlier.

Onua: Even if it's a trap? It seems a bit too obvious...

Gali1: Especially if it's a trap. That way we're guaranteed to be brought straight to the source of this pie madness. And Matau's DVD, too, most likely.

Matau: Awesome! Then I'm all for it, let's go!

Gali2: I agree with my other self.

Oohnorak: Aww, but I liked laying around doing nothing!

Lewa: Just be quiet, everyone! I'm the manager, and I say the sooner we follow these pies, the sooner we can be done with this quest and get back to the Inn, and the sooner I can lounge around all day...I mean do important managery stuff. Yeah. So let's go! Also, Takanuva, do you want to drive?

Takanuva: No.

Kopaka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Lewa: Fine, then, Gali's driving.

Tahu & Matau:

*The two Galis combine into one and the Toa Nuva all drive off*

Matau: Hey, how come we suddenly can't fit in that car any more! What happened?

Nokama: *SLAP!* That was you, moron! You broke the back Ussanui off of the front when you did that crazy flipping midair dive, remember?

Matau: Oh yeah. That sure was cool, though, huh?

Nokama: No, it wasn't.

Whenua: Great, so what do we do now?

Keelerak: Let's just wait until we're back in our own comedy. I'm sure something will happen then.

Matau: Good idea.

*Back in the "car" with the Toa Nuva...*

BEC: HeylookatthisguesswhatIfoundguyssomebodyleftawholebunchofsugarintheglovecompartment! NowI'mhyperagainyippee!

Fred: Ugh.

Gali: We have glove compartments in this car?

Takanuva: No.

Kopaka: AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!

Gali: Then how--never mind.

BEC: Idon'tcareaboutwhetherornotwehaveglovecompartmentsaslongasthere'sSUGARinthem!

Fred: Why did it have to be his shoulder, of all places?

Narrator: The eight travellers drove for a long time, up mountains and through valleys, until they arrived at an eerily deserted portion of Ta-Metru. No Matoran were in sight, but a large building shaped like a giant pie dominated the scene.

Pohatu: Hey, you wanna know what would be funny? If it turned out the group behind this pie madness was living in that pie-shaped building this entire time.

Tahu: You don't say?

Gali: Come on, let's go in!

Takanuva: It looks kinda creepy. I don't know...

Onua: Oh, please, darkness isn't creepy at all! It's perfectly visible!

Takanuva: Yeah, for you maybe.

Lewa: Let's just go inside. We've all been around Tava long enough. Pie-shaped buildings aren't creepy.

BEC: I think it's really creepy. It's so creepy, it took away my hyperness!

Fred: Now that's creepy.

Narrator: They walked inside the mysterious building after parking the car. Inside, they saw that the entire thing was made of different kinds of pie, but all of the pie gave off an evil aura.

Lewa0111: What are you, a prose writer wannabe?

Narrator: I'm allowed to be an author if I want to!

Lewa0111: Between me, my Ask Matau! self, Gali1000, and Lehrak1222, not to mention the occasional GregF cameos, I think this comedy has enough authors running around. Besides, you got fired once, don't let it happen again!

Narrator: Aww...fine.

Onua: You know what's really weird about this place? Everything about it is pie.

Tahu: Obviously...and your point is?

Onua: I mean everything is pie, the food. No sign of pi, the number. Tava always was obsessed with both.

*Suddenly, they come across two doors with handles made of pumpkin pie, and the doors themselves made of solid French Silk Pie. Across the top was a banner that constantly repeated the words: "THE SANCTUARY OF PIE, THE MOST POWERFUL SUBSTANCE IN THE MATORAN UNIVERSE." Then it ran past the doors and was lost to sight.*

Lewa0111: Now you, too, Caption Writing Guy?

*Ehehe...*

Onua: Who really says "Ehehe" anymore, anyway?

Random Matoran #35: Ehehe...

Onua: Okay, I stand corrected.

Lewa: Something tells me the source of all of this is just beyond those doors. I'd better call for backup.

Gali: Backup?

*Lewa puts on the Mask of Vahki and summons 300 Vahki to join them*

Vahki1: <Error. Pie and sweetness overloading my system...> *leaves*

Vahki2: <Error. Pie and sweetness overloading my system...>*leaves*

Vahki3: <Pickles>

All Vahki: < >

Vahki4: <Error. Microsoft has encountered a problem and needs to close>

Lewa: I knew I should have used Macintosh!

Tahu: No time for that, we'd better go in.

*They all open the doors, and walk inside the central room to see...*

Toa Nuva:

BEC: *gulp*

Fred: What the...!?

*Inside, they saw rows upon rows of canisters of...PIEONICLE figures, displayed as 'the Toy you can Eat!' The canisters featured such names as Pierok, Pierok Va, Rahkpie, Piea Nuva, Piea Metpi, and Pieraka, all inside canisters made of different flavors of Pie. Instead of Kanoka codes, different numbers of Pi were written there, and everything was sold for $3.14.*

Lewa: It can't be! PIEONICLE? Impossible!

Takanuva: Don't you mean impiessible?

Gali: Is this really the time for stupid pie-based puns?

Narrator: But the worst part of all was the--

*HEY! Who's narrating here?*

Narrator: You're the caption writing guy, I'M the narrator. As I was saying, the worst part of all was the computer set up in the center, featuring a display of...PieonicleZone Power?

Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Lewa: I'll handle this.

Narrator: But before Lewa could do anything to deactivate PZP, ten figures approached. All of them resembled the Toa Nuva and their companions, but, naturally, each was made out of Pie instead.

Mysterious Figure 1: I am Piehu, Piea of Cherry Pie!

Mysterious Figure 2: I am Pieli, Piea of Blueberry Pie!

Third figure: I am Piewa, Piea of Key Lime Pie!

Fourth figure: I am Piehatu, Piea of Chocolate Pie!

Fifth Figure: I am Piepaka, Piea of Cream Pie!

Sixth Figure: I am Pienua, Piea of Black Licorice Pie!

All Toa: Black Licorice Pie?

Pienua: What? How many black-colored Pie flavors do you know?

Tahu: I'm sure Tava has thought up a few.

Seventh Figure: Quiet! We haven't finished yet! I am Piekanuva, Piea of Lemon Merengue Pie!

Eighth Figure: I am Pie Eyes Commander, and I'm just a random Pietoran who is obsessed with sugar.

Ninth Figure: And I am Frpied, a Pieaata.

Fred: Really? "Frpied?"

Lewa: Ha. We're not scared of you, this is just a repeat of the Rahkshi saga! We know all about defeating our opposites! Now let's beat you and get back to our hotel before we waste any more time with this ridiculous quest.

Tenth Figure: I think not. For I am Piewa3.141, author of PIEONICLE! None of you are leaving this place!

Lewa0111: Bring it on!

Piewa3.141: You forgot about our secret weapon: PieonicleZonePower! PZP members, attack!

PZP members: Yay for PIEONICLE! Defeat these imposters!

Fred: Hey, wait a minute! Who's the impostors here?

Piewa: That would be you.

Tahu: This looks bad.

THE PIE END

Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Lewa0111: Umm...now what? Let's hope Matau and the others can save us! The next chapter will be in Ask Pietau...wait, "Pietau?" Uh-oh...better end it here, quick!

Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 2,134 pies.

~Piewa# Studios

:pierunu: Piewa3.141 :pierunu: