5 replies to this topic

[ShadowBionics]

Yeah, I know, this is very late. Well, sorry about that, but college beckons and I must answer. So this was actually a story in my "vault" that I wanted to post for Halloween. I am 2 days (3 days if it's past midnight) late since I couldn't get onto BZP in time. With that said, sorry if it seems dated and irrelevant. Hope that you'll enjoy it anyway. I was actually wanting to make a "sequel" to this story, but... well, you'll see when you get to the end.

For those who followed my stuff since the old BZP, you might recognize this story. For those who haven't, this will be new to you. And before you ask, I unfortunately can't find the original topic anywhere. And since this is sort of part of the "Dimwit of Time" series, I figured it ought to be posted alongside the main stories since I'm giving them new life.

 

 

DOT: Lewa's Halloween

*It was a semi-normal day in the city of Metru Nui. Well, that's not even entirely accurate when you take into account the inhabitants of said island city. Perhaps we ought to go and visit another place for Halloween?*


Lewa: Hello, everyone, I'm Toa Lewa, and this is Navi.

Navi: Why aren't you wallowing in self-pity like you're supposed to be?

Lewa: This is a spin-off, nothing has to make sense.

Navi: Darn you, Lord of shadows.

LOS: I can do whatever I want, so too bad for you!

Navi: So what is it that we're supposed to be doing?

Lewa: According to Shadows' notes, we have to go around and see what goes on during Halloween.

LOS, takes notes: Who keeps going into my notes so I can wring their necks in a cheese grater?!

Lewa: Let's ask this guy. Hey, what are you supposed to be?

Happy Mask Salesman: I'm actually very proud of my costume this year… It's an authentic Toa Lewa costume.

*But obviously the freak with the swollen back was dressed in purple, not green like the real Lewa was.*

Lewa: What? What are you talking about, you don't look like me.

Happy Mask Salesman: Hey… you're dressed up as Lewa, too.

Lewa: What? No! This is how I actually dress-up. Besides, I'm the one-only Lewa! Besides, can't you wear one of your freak-masks?

Happy Mask Salesman: Wear one of my masks…?

*He grabs Lewa and begins to strangle him like a serial killer.*

Happy Mask Salesman: I HATE MASKS!!!

Lewa: AAAHHH! Get me out of here!

Navi: No, I think I'll sit this one out.

*So since this is a family-sort of story, I'm going to cut out the brutal details of what happened next and skip over to the next part, somewhere in the woods.*

Lewa: "Happy Mask Salesman?" Crazy Mask Salesman is better-suiting.

Navi: So are you going to give up and give it a break?

Natalie, singing: Give me a break, I'm melting away. You're so dangerous…

Lewa: No, I think I'll keep going. Besides, with the ever-hawt Natalie here, anything is possible.

Natalie: I'm only supposed to make limited cameos in this one, so don't be too over-confident. *laughs.* See you around.

Navi: Hey, there's a homeless guy.

Lewa: Hey, homeless guy, what are you dressed as?

Remote, wheezing: I've got on a Lewa costume, I'm really happy for it.

Tael: I honestly don't know why you are, man.

Lewa: You're stupid! You look nothing like me!

Remote: I'm not supposed to be you, Lesovikk, I'm supposed to be Lewa.

Lewa: Why do people keep saying I look like that guy? Well, your costume sucks, go get another one, you make me sick!

Remote: But I don't have another one… except for this cursed mask… But it's supposed to be evil.

Lewa: That's sure-fine for Halloween! Go get it.

Remote: Well… okay… *So Remote reaches into a sack and pulls out Elitha's Mask and puts it on.*

Lewa: How do you feel?

Remote 2.0: Hail Karzahni!!

Lewa: See, you're in the spirit already!

Remote 2.0: Foolish mortals, now prepare to suffer my wrath!

*Remote knocks Lewa off balance and takes off with Tatl and Tael.*

Remote 2.0: All who oppose me shall perish.

Navi: That was weird… and why does he have more than one fairy with him? Who does he think he is, you?

Lewa: Well, he's definitely nothing like me, that's for sure.

Navi: Okay, I think we should get out of here now.

Lewa, mocking: Why, are you afraid you-know-who is going to get you?

Navi: Who?

Lewa: The guy whose name you can't say because if you do he comes and takes you away forever.

Navi: What, like Candle Jack?

Candle Jack: Hello…

Lewa: Oh, you've done it now, Navi.

Navi: Great…

*So what's his name takes Navi and ties her up (which is amazing considering how small she is) and takes her away…*

Lewa: Maybe that explains why she didn't come out in the sequel. Oh, well, I'll go to the coliseum and see what's going on there.

*In the coliseum…*

Vahki 2: Sir, it's Armageddon.

Dume: I love that movie! Where's Bruce Willis?

Vahki 3: No. People are getting kidnapped everywhere.

Dume: Really, how come?

Vahki 1: Because they say the word Candle Jack and then--

Candle Jack: You rang?

Vahki 1: Darn it.

Dume: I didn't know it was Halloween already! I better go get my costume on and throw another party!

Vahki 2: What about Candle Jack?

Candle Jack: I'm going to need more rope.

Navi: Don't push your luck, freak show.

*Outside in the garden.*

Lewa: Hey, Nokama.

Nokama: Oh… it's you. What do you want now?

Lewa: Please don't tell me that you're dressing as me for Halloween.

Nokama: Of course not, only serial killers and demented mask salesmen would want to dress like you.

Lewa: They're not the only ones. I like to dress as me, too.

Nokama: Guards?

Lewa: Wait, you didn't answer my question~

Nokama: I don't need to.

*Lewa gets thrown out of the coliseum and then the gates close on him so he can't get back in… unless he goes over them by flying, but let's not push it.*

Lewa: Wow, she sure got meaner after I… *As he gets up, he meets with Antroz, face to face…* NOOOOO!!!

Antroz: What are you screaming about?

Lewa: Oh, I thought I was having my nightmare again. What are you dressing up as?

Antroz: Well, you see, as a member of the Brotherhood of Makuta, I don't have to dress up since I can just shape-shift into whatever I want to. Plus, since I'm a Makuta, I can threaten people to give me all the candy I want and there's no one to stop me…

Antroz's mom: Now, Annie, don't eat too much candy or you'll get a tummy ache.

Antroz, flying away: You can't stop me, mom! I make my own destiny!

Lewa: O_O That was weird… This sucks, I'm going home now.


*Somewhere by Pon Pon Ranch…*

Iruini: Oh, hello there.

Remote 2.0: Silence mortal! Give me candy!

Iruini: No, no, it's Trick or Treat.

Remote 2.0: I think you underestimate me, you pathetic spoof of an Italian plumber… I am wearing the Mask of Elitha… I'm also dressed as Lewa and I have Navi the fairy with me!

Tael: What? I'm not any Navi, you fool!

Remote 2.0: Silence Navi!

Iruini: Are you trying to tell me something?

Tatl: We might as well just live in Lazytown for all I care, you people are freaks.

Remote 2.0: Forget Lazytown! Everyone knows that it's Bear in the Big Blue House where it's at. If you won't give me candy, then allow me to introduce you to Luna…

*Remote taps into the powers of Elitha, throws his head back, floats into the air, and emits a high-pitched scream. No sooner than when he does, the moon (which has a face on it now) starts to draw closer to the ranch.*

Iruini, spazzing out: What in the world is going on here?!

Tatl: Could be worse, you could've been kidnapped by Candle Jack.

Candle Jack: It's rare that a woman calls my name, you know…

Navi: Hey, what am I?

Tatl: Oh, great…

Tael: Dang it, woman, you know you're not supposed to say Candle Jack!

Candle Jack: Pleased to meet you…

Tael: Wait, I said Apple Jack, not Candle Jack! Darn it, I said it again!

Candle Jack: Thanks for your honesty, now I'll be sure to tie you up double.

Vahki 1: This reminds me of last Friday night at the Copa Gukko…

Remote 2.0: Ready, Luna? Hey, this was very fun…

Luna (The Moon): We hoped you liked it, too.

Remote 2.0: Seems like we've just begun…

Both: But suddenly we're through…

Remote 2.0: Good bye, good bye, good friends, good bye…

Both: Because now it's time to go…

Remote 2.0: But hey, I say, well that's okay.

The Moon: Cause we'll see you very soon, I know…

*And then as the song continues, the moon collides with Metru Nui and everyone perishes to their doom. The end.*

Lewa, passing by: Hey ,what's that in the dis-- *But it was too late as he was blown away by the massive explosion brought on by the collision of the moon. Did he die along with everyone else? Possibly. Time passed on and by the next day, Remote found himself in the ruins of Metru Nui, not aware of what went on the previous day...*

Remote, groaning: Ugh.. what happened? What was I doing last night? *He removes Elitha's mask from his face and starts looking around.*

*That was sort of a mistake as the eyeholes of the mask glow red and the mask slowly rises into the air behind Remote.*

Remote: Didn't there used to be some city here? I could have sworn there was around here, I know it.

Elitha: Yes, my little puppet, you are correct... there was a town here, but now it is no more, courtesy of me! *cackles*

Remote: What? Man, you're even more derranged than I am, and I kill people for a living.

Elitha: Bah, your tactics are child's play compared to my superior plans! With that said... *She raises her scissor scythe and then zaps Remote into oblivion.*

Candle Jack: Wow, you have style, I'll give you that.

Elitha: Thank you. Now go, whatever your name is and do whatever with your... captives as you please.

Von Nebula: Come here often?

Elitha: Beat it, Von Nutcase. And Happy Halloween, everybody.

Von Nebula: I'll get you, Stormer!!!

Elitha: You annoy me. You're all prickly. And why are your legs on backwards?

Von Nebula: Because I've got style.

Elitha: No, you're just a freak with gaps in his armor.

Edited by ShadowBionics, Apr 06 2013 - 03:01 AM.

[ShadowBionics]

I really don't care that it's not Halloween or even remotely close to it anymore. If anything, this next thing is more like a fusion of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Arbor Day... 

 

I wrote somewhat of a continuation to this comedy, this time taking place in the Twilight Delinquent Era of the DOT universe. It references what happened in the original Lewa's Halloween somewhat, however how it is everyone survived getting crushed by the moon is beyond me. After all, this is a spin-off where nothing has to make sense. Like the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episodes. In fact, that's a good example. Except with these chapters/short stories in this topic, it's really more of making fun of my comedies and how badly written they are. Now it's Twilight Delinquent's turn. Plus you'll get a look into Skyward Stooge.

 

I'm also thinking of a way to continue Lewa's Mask Chronicles... but that might not be too far off. Anyway, I'll shut up now, here you go. Enjoy. Or not. 

 

 

TD: Lewa's Halloween II: Act I

 

Once upon a time… No, wait. A long, long time ago in a galaxy far away… Wait, that's not right either. Whatever. In some far away land of Metru Nui, there echo many legends. Some about how some guy in green managed to defeat some psychotic burn victim. Then there is one about a young girl who became cursed with incredible power.

The young Av-Matoran girl was viewed as an outcast by many. She was never invited to their block parties or their slumber parties. All except for 2, who she was eventually separated from by some evil fat guy in rusted armor, who shaped her into his ultimate weapon. After rebelling against him, she ran away from home trying to find a place to belong. But after what they rusty guy did, it would be impossible for her to fit in, now more than ever…


Midna: Lewa…? Why am I here? 

Lewa: Oh, well, this is a spin-off from the main story.

Midna: Okay. Well, at least I'm not an imp anymore. But if this is a spin-off, then does that mean we can do anything?

Lewa: Sure. Just watch.

*Lewa randomly grabs some rocks and throws them behind his shoulders. The rocks proceed to travel far and wide until they reach a random destination…*

*Knock Out is buffering himself in the mirror. When he finishes, he takes a look.*

Knock Out, whistles: Hey there, good-looking.

*Just then, the rocks Lewa throw smack him in the side, putting some major dents in his armor and messing with his paint job.*

Knock Out, gasp: My paint job has been ruined! *growling* Dinkleberg…

*Back with Lewa…*

Lewa: See? Anything goes.

Midna: Oh, I get it. But why are we doing this spin-off.

Lewa: I don't know… I didn't think of that one.

Nokama: Didn't you know? We're going to celebrate the day of the Princess of Shadows.

Lewa: Uh… okay, that doesn't sound like a total faux-fake holiday you just made up right now. And what about the King of Shadows?

*Somewhere from the great beyond…*

Teridax, eating a 6-foot sandwhich: Hey, no one ever gave me a holiday!

*Back with Lewa…*

Lewa: Oh, yeah… that guy. Why hasn't he been in the main story?

*That's when Midna rushes over and covers his mouth.*

Midna: Spoiler alert.

Nokama: Well, normally, this day would be Halloween, but after some strange mishap where the moon crashed into Metru Nui, we moved the holiday a few days and changed it to something totally different relating to our almost-demise! And that's partially why we all still dress-up in cosplay outfits and whatnot.

Lewa: I… guess that makes sense.

Nokama: Anyways, come on, you two lovebirds. We have to get over to the town square.

Midna + Lewa: We're not lovebirds!

*Ignoring Nokama's teasing, the pair go off to the town square.*

Midna: Nokama's been acting much more easy-going after the whole Zant-Elitha-Antroz takeover of Metru Nui was thwarted.

Lewa: Yeah, I don't get it. She's starting to creep-scare me, actually. More than that weird-freak.

Rusl: I have a name, you know!

Lewa: Well, when you find out what it is, I'll be cheer-happy to hear it.

*They eventually make it to a large podium where Turaga Dume is talking.*

Dume, on microphone: So then I told him "You got some pretty big SHOES to fill." *stupid laughter/silence among crowd.*

Lewa, whispering: I don't get it.

Midna, whispering: We missed the joke. It probably wasn't funny, anyway.

Dume: Uh… Okay. My fellow Metru Nuians, it is that time again when we must talk about the threat proposed by zombies. You see, the heat of the moon--

Tahu: Stop with your crazy zombie plan, you old bat! And stop with that scary costume.

Dume: This isn't a costume.

Tahu: Oh… well, it's pretty scary.

Dume: Well, I should've been dead 40 years ago.

All: O_O

Dume: Anyway, today is the day remember our near-destruction at the hands of the Princess of Shadows herself. To recount that tale, I bring you this whimsical rhyming guy who likes riddles.

*From the shadows, out comes Velika, wearing a brown hooded cloak. No idea who he was cosplaying as.*

Velika: Gather, people, into a circle. That way I can… 

[pause]

Velika, speaking softly: Circle… what rhymes…? Circle…? 

[pause]

Velika, aloud: Hey, kids, who wants to follow me to the creepy statue?

*Velika throws his cloak, creating an original scene transition to everyone walking to somewhat of a field of statues. There was one of the King of Shadows/Demon King himself, as well as ones for Antroz, Ghirahim, Zant, and all those colorful characters that died in the series in some way or another. Velika, however, lead them to a specific statue… the Princess of Shadows, Elitha.*

Velika: Listen here, listen how, you shall know more about the Princess of Shadow. So crazy and full-out insane, she will cause you so much grief and pain. A being of shadow everywhere you turn, she has fun when she sets things to burn! 

Lewa: Yup. Remember that, Midna?

Midna: Do you even need to remind me? That fortune teller place burned too bright for me not to forget it.

Velika: And yet, now, a creature so friendly and light, she will stalk for day and night! No matter if you walk, run, scream, or strife, she shall follow you for the rest of your life! To escape her cries and her ever-searching eyes, we all cosplay so that she should stay away. 

Idris: But strange Matoran-ish character?!

Velika: What?

Velika, thinking: Oh, no, I bet she's onto me! Does she know the truth of what I may be?

Idris: What if we showed the freak lady kindness and compassion? Then we could make the world a better place?

Velika: Ah, a very good point, you silly little girl. I shall answer when I make this magic smoke swirl.

*Velika blows some magic dust at her before rushing away.*

Velika: She knows not how to commune, she only knows destruction with the moon. Yet the sight of her will give you a fright, as she will go and hug all in her sight! She dances to the Cascada song "Night Nurse," and her presence will bring upon you an utter curse!

*No sooner after Velika finishes his sentence, the clouds start to roll in, thunder rumbles and lightning cracks. And then from the clouds, a fiery chariot pulled by a mutant Kanohi Dragon comes in sight. Riding the chariot is a mysterious figure wearing a black, hooded cloak.*

Lewa: Please tell me that isn't who I think it is…

Midna: What happened to Elitha, anyway?

Lewa: You know, it was very unclear…

Midna + Lewa:

Edited by ShadowBionics, Apr 06 2013 - 02:59 AM.

[Phovos the Raptor]

Okay, there were parts that were genuinely funny, but it all seemed a tad too random. The jokes are great, they really are, but there is a lack of actual plot, and that is sorely needed to tie the jokes together.

Although, I must give you credit for making me laugh out loud twice, once with the scene of Teridax eating a sandvich, the second with Velika starting his rhyme and wondering what rhymes with Circle.

I know this was pretty much a one-off, but it did suffer from the lack of plot, which makes it poor compared to your main stories.

[ShadowBionics]

Well, thing is... it isn't a "one off." The last ones bears the title of "Act I" in there. Plus I mean I don't know but should I be allowed a bad comedy now and again? Not to mention everyone in 2010 said my writing was awful, so it's nothing bad to be honest.

 

With this topic in particular, I'm probably going to treat it like a scrap box in which it will feature these spin-off sort of episodic specials from the main series. There isn't too much of a plot going on for right now, since the only purpose these specials serve is to be random and make fun of how awful my writing is. In a sense, I'm sort of making fun of myself before anyone else can do that on here.

 

 

Here is Act II where there's somewhat of a conflict introduced. And there is more randomness. As well as Skyward Stooge spoilers/references that no one shall understand because SS is not on here! XD

 

 

 

TD: Lewa's Halloween II: Act II

 

*Riding a chariot through the dark, thundering sky, the mysterious hooded figure soars over the surrounding town near the Coliseum where everyone else was gathered for the games and whatever else they were doing. Everyone stopped what they were doing, immediate stricken with fear as the figure leapt out of the chariot when lightning flashed. There was more horror as the figure pulled down their hood, revealing a young woman with ipod earbuds in her ears… oh, and she had the Mask of Death, too. That could only mean one thing…*

Dume, gasp: It’s Jessica Alba!

Vakama: No, you old coot. Tell me how she looks anything like Jessica Alba?

[pause]

Dume: What’s your point?

*Meanwhile, Midna and Lewa made it back into town just in time to see the hooded figure reveal her identity to everyone and as she removed her earbuds.*

Lewa: Elitha??

Midna: I should have guessed… her fate really was unclear!

Lewa: But remember this is a spin-off, so what happens in the main series doesn’t always apply.

Midna: What is it with all these formalities? I suppose now you’ll tell me Zant is out there someplace playing with his dolls again.

Lewa: Who knows? Or stuff could be going on that we’re not even aware of…

*Somewhere in the Sacred Grove, in the ruins of the Temple of Time…*

*Roodaka’s dim-witted lieutenant Zhirika was laying on a stone slab, unconscious and surrounded by some monsters cosplaying as Great Beings. Then there was a sickly-pale being standing adjacent from here and in the middle of the monsters, only he was cosplaying as Maximillion Pegasus cosplaying as a Great being.*

Monsters, chanting: Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga-Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga-Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga-Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga-Ooga-Chaka

Ghirahim: I can't stop this feeling deep inside of me. Girl, you just don't realize… what you do to me…

*Back with Midna and Lewa…*

Both: O_O

Midna: What did I just see?

Lewa: A very weird-freakish summoning, that’s what…

*Elitha tosses away her cloak, making it fade into shadow as she takes flight and looks down on everyone below.*

Elitha: Inhabitants of Metru Nui! I have come to you acknowledging the events that transpired here over 200 years ago and I wish to make amends with everyone. I come to you as a woman who wishes to coexist peacefully. Someone who yearns for your acceptance and admiration. Together, we can make a better life for all of us!

*There is a long pause before everyone really lets her words soak in. Even then, they’re all still too afraid to say anything because it’s Elitha, the Princess of Shadow and bearer of the Mask of Death. Elitha gets back on the ground, confused.*

Elitha: What is the matter with you all?

*She points to Turaga Vakama, who shrinks away in fear. She then points to Velika, who hides behind Turaga Dume, who’s still convinced that’s Jessica Alba standing in front of him.*

Dume: I loved you in that movie Into the Blue!

Elitha: Um… I’ll be ignoring you now…

*Elitha continues walking, randomly pointing at some Matoran, beckoning them to answer her, but they all cower in fear, thinking she’s going to do something horrible to them.*

Elitha, hurt: Very, well… in that case, I’m going to leave you all… in a huff. And you won’t get any of the cookies I baked for you!

*Elitha throws back her cape-wings and starts to walk away, trying to hide her tears from everyone else.*

Lewa: I’m going to be her best friend…

Midna: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lewa… if memory serves me right, you were afraid of her and didn’t want her near you. Now all of a sudden, you want to be her friend? You Toa and Matoran are so hard to understand.

Lewa: True… but now she’s being all nice and weepy now. The perfect chance to try and make her less insane and murderous! 

Midna: So you really think you can turn this girl’s mind?

Lewa: Worth a shot. Plus for some reason I feel as though I owe it to her…

Midna: Leave it to the author to briefly touch on a plot point that is explained further in the next story… Well, I don’t have anything better to do, anyway. 

*In the spooky woods with all the creepy statues, Elitha was kneeling out at the statues of herself and her “father,” taken by sadness and rejection.*

Elitha: Oh, statue, you are my only friend.

Lewa: Um, hello? Elitha? You might not think-recall but we met…

Elitha: When you and I fought in the Coliseum. When I fought you through my puppet Lord Helmet. When you snapped me back to my senses and made me sacrifice myself to save you.

Lewa: Okay, so you do remember…

Elitha: Toa Lewa… Hero of Twilight. Chosen hero of the goddesses… how so many have worn that title before you…

Lewa: Yeah, you kind of knew the Hero of Time.

Elitha: As well as Hylia’s chosen hero…

Lewa: What?

Elitha: Oh, nothing. Nothing at all…

Midna: You’re not telling us something…

Elitha: No I’m not. Am I not making myself clear?

Midna, sly: Oh, I’m sure you knew him all right…

Elitha, blushing: I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Lewa: Yeah, what are you talking about?

Midna: Isn’t it obvious? Not only did she know him, but she had feelings for him.

Lewa: Wait… 

*Lewa takes out a copy of Metru Nui Historia and goes to the Skyward Stooge section. He skims through it, seeing Hylia’s chosen hero, also named Lewa. Then he sees Elitha. And I won’t go any further because that would be spoilers.*

Lewa: Well, this explains everything!

Elitha, crying: Okay, it’s true! 

Midna, laughs: I had a feeling. Elitha and Lewa sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Lewa: You don’t mean me, do you?

Midna: No, I mean the other Lewa.

Hero’s Shade: Me??

Midna: No, the other other Lewa. What is it with the goddesses choosing anyone named “Lewa” as the hero every so often? This is going to be so confusing.

Elitha: I’m so sorry… these years have been so stressful on me and I don’t know myself anymore.

Lewa: Yeah. This book says you’re supposed to be a timid big-brain who’s very kind-loving. Yet you’ve tried to kill me and my ancestor.

Elitha: Side effects of unrequited love?

Lewa: That’s no reason to try and kill us both!

Elitha, crying: That’s why I want to change! I want people to like me! But I don’t know how!

Lewa: Well, today is your lucky day. I’m here to help you.

Elitha: Really?

Lewa: Yup. I’m going to help you learn how to be all nice and shy and bookish again.

Elitha: I do kind of miss my old post as a librarian…

Lewa: There you go! You’ll do great. You just have to stop trying to kill everything.

Midna: Not to mention stop yelling… For someone who used to be so timid and soft-spoken, you’ve gotten so loud.

Elitha: Yes, please teach me everything you can!

Midna: Yelling?

Elitha, softer: How is this?

Midna: Better.

Elitha, normal: And how about this.

Midna: Very good. Now we just have to take her to a library. Which would that be around here? The Onu-Metru Archives?

Lewa: I don’t think so…

Midna: Tch. Right, I forgot your history with them. Then the Ga-Metru school?

Lewa: Eh, close enough.

Elitha: I’ll do my best.

*Much later, the trio arrives in Ga-Metru’s library, which was complete with its own librarian…*

Lewa: Nixie is the closest to being what you once were. She’s very sweet and kind and soft-spoken. And she’s blue! *Lewa knocks on the door.*

Nixie: H-hello? Who’s there?

*Nixie opens the door to see Lewa and Midna.*

Nixie: Oh, Toa Lewa. Nice to see you, this evening. And Princess Midna. And Elitha.

*That’s when Nixie realizes what she just said.*

Nixie: Elitha?! *she screams and quickly slams the door on Lewa’s face.*

Lewa: Don’t slam the door in my face! *Lewa grabs the doorknob to try and open the door, but to no avail.*

Midna: I kind of thought this would happen.

*Lewa puts on the Romani’s mask and tries to open the door again.*

Lewa: Here’s my cow-face! Is this what you want?!

Midna, sighs: You’re so dumb, yet you have your own kind of charm, actually…

*Midna calmly goes to the window and uses her powers to take Nixie out of the library and plops her in front of Elitha.*

Midna: I’m sure you already know who Elitha is, based on your reaction. Elitha, this is Nixie.

Elitha: Hello.

Nixie, shivering: H-h-h-hello…

Midna: She needs your help returning to her old self again.

Nixie: My help?

Lewa: Yeah, see?

*Lewa gives her the book and allows her to read the side-note on Elitha.*

Nixie: Oh! I never knew that!

Lewa: No one does.

Nixie: Well, in that case…

*Nixie takes Elitha’s hand and leads her into the library.*

Elitha: I’m slowly feeling… at home again.

Nixie: This will be so great! I’ve never had a study-buddy before! Now I can have someone to talk to about books I’ve read and someone who can help me around the library!

Elitha: I’m already starting to feel so at home here. So many books and shelves… I’m… I’m feeling… so happy and overwhelmed.

Midna: I think we found a match.

Lewa: I hope so. I like her better this way.

Midna: What about when she was all goofy from Zant’s insanity?

Lewa: Not really.

Midna: ‘Cause I liked her better that way, myself.

Edited by ShadowBionics, Apr 11 2013 - 02:42 AM.

[ShadowBionics]

Here is the final act of the story. Although not the end of the topic. I'm going to keep using this topic for the rest of the spin-offs and related stories to the Dimwit of Time series. There's one in particular I'm going to put here, and it's actually referenced in this act.

 

 

TD: Lewa's Halloween II: Act III

 

 

 

*Time passed as Nixie and Elitha hung out. Elitha received lessons from her and she slowly started to return to her shy, timid self. Sometime after trying to make Elitha be more demure and peaceful, it was time for Midna and Lewa to put her to the test by taking her back into the party where everyone was trying to boogie down.*

 

Malum: Cuz this is THRILLER!

 

Midna: Who is he again?

 

Lewa: If he wasn’t in the main story, he’s not important enough.

 

Midna: Then what about Nixie?

 

Lewa: I dunno. She probably was meant to have some special-main role if the author included her here as a consolation.

 

Elitha: Look how high my feet come off the ground…!

 

Midna: You sure she’s ready?

 

Lewa: Of course she is. Look how excited she is.

 

*Elitha screams as she lifts her foot up slightly higher than before, dropping to the ground and crawling to Lewa.*

 

Midna: Yeah… really excited. Well, we could take her over there. *Midna points over to where Fyer has his giant miniature cannon like the one in Lake Hylia. Wait, how can something be a giant miniature?*

 

Lewa: No… not the clowns again! You know how I feel about clowns!

 

Elitha: Clowns?! Where?! *screams*

 

Midna: Get over it, you two.

 

*Midna shoves Lewa and Elitha towards Fyer.*

 

Fyer: Hey there, fella. Ladies.

 

Midna: Hello… I want you to give these two a flight.

 

Fyer: Wait, how do you know about that?

 

Midna: I’m friends with Lewa, you know.

 

Fyer: Well, that makes sense. Well, take them in here. This one’s on me. *He winks at Midna… making her uncomfortable.*

 

Midna: Yeah… you’re not creepy at all.

 

*So she shoves them both into the cannon, Fyer gets on his bicycle whatchamahoozit contraption, starts a-peddling, and stars the scary music as the cannon roars to life, rotates around, shooting them both towards a lone house full of chickens… oh, dear.*

 

Falbi: HAI.

 

Elitha and Lewa: AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

 

*Moments later…*

 

Midna: So how’d it go?

 

Lewa: Now I’m scared of Onu-Matoran and clowns!

 

Elitha: I didn’t think we’d ever get away!

 

Midna: So what did you do?

 

Lewa: Elitha got so high-scared, she turned the clown into a Fikou spider.

 

*Elitha giggles as she taps on the bottle that house the Fikou spider named Falbi.*

 

Elitha: I’ll call him… Spot.

 

Midna: Uh… okay, bad idea. Let’s find something else.

 

Rusl: Hello there, Lewa.

 

Lewa: What’s up, weird-freak?

 

Rusl: I told you, I have a name you know!

 

Lewa: So what is it?

 

Rusl: After so many years, I finally learned my name. It’s Rusl.

 

Lewa: Okay, good to know that. Now if only we could know what to call The Shadowed One.

 

The Shadowed One: This is ludicrous! I’m not even featured in this series, and yet you’re mentioning me?!

 

Lewa: Who said you weren’t featured in this series? *gives sly look.*

 

TSO: I’m leaving here!

 

Elitha: Who’s that powerful-looking villain with the slight accent?

 

Lewa: That is another story for another day.

 

Rusl: Now that he’s out of the way, how about you try about my carnival game? It’s called “Bobbing for Pumpkins.”

 

Lewa: Pumpkins?

 

Midna: How could you do something so horrible??

 

*They look over to the tub of pumpkins in water, as well as various Matoran failing to get them.*

 

Rusl: I had to since I ran out of ideas for games.

 

Midna: No, I mean how could you do it? The mechanics behind it are just impossible.

 

Lewa: Yeah. You cannot whole-grab a pumpkin like that.

 

*Elitha tries, but she falls into the tub of water. She later pops back out, but apparently she has drained the water.*

 

Rusl: Well, there goes that one. I guess there’s always the hayride.

 

Nuju: I’ll be in charge of the hayride. I call it “Toa Nuju’s Haunted Hayride.”

 

*Nuju then takes a bite out of an apple, which makes Elitha scream in fear as Nuju stares at her with a look that says “I don’t care.”*

 

Lewa: Somehow it’s not very haunted.

 

Nuju, sad: You’re right… Truth is I don’t know how to make it any more haunted that it is. I’m so ashamed.

 

Lewa: It’s all right, Nuju. We all make mistakes.

 

Sarda: It’s Princess Elitha, and she’s going to drag us into the shadows!

 

*The various Matoran go running off screaming.*

 

Elitha: W-w-w-what? No! Please, come back! I only wish to make friends with everyone. But with haunted hayrides, scary clowns, and strange people who don’t know their own names…

 

Rusl: My name is Rusl!!

 

Elitha: Everything is just so overwhelming…

 

*Elitha starts to have a headache and she staggers and she puts a hand to her forehead.*

 

Midna: Elitha? Are you okay?

 

*And that’s when we can say bye-bye to shy, nervous Matoran (in spirit) Elitha and hello to insane, wicked, Shadow Toa Elitha (again).*

 

Elitha: No, Princess Midna. I am most definitely not okay.

 

Midna: Come on, what did we say about raising your voice.

 

Elitha: People talk loud when they want to sound important. I am doing just that! Since you all refuse to accept me as a friend, then perhaps you will accept me as a conqueror!

 

*At that moment, Elitha takes her pet “Spot,” duplicates him, and releases the multiplying spiders upon everyone like a plague.*

 

Elitha: Is that haunted enough for you?

 

*Nuju runs around screaming as the spiders crawl on him.*

 

Lewa: I’d say that’s definitely more haunted.

 

Midna: Do something before she gets out of control!

 

Lewa: No way. I don’t want to end up being hocus-pocused into something freaky or scary.

 

Elitha: Fly, my lovelies!

 

*Elitha uses her powers to bring the pumpkins to life as some weird bat/pumpkin hybrids with Jack-o-lantern faces, unleashing them on everyone to cause fear and disaster.*

 

Lewa: Well, I could try to talk to her… Um, Elitha?

 

Elitha: Oh… Lewa… it is you…

 

Lewa: Yeah. Listen, could you let down on the scare-frights? It’s not exactly helping everyone like you more.

 

Elitha: Do you not see how no matter what I do, I will not be accepted?

 

Lewa: But it’s not your fault. This is just an island city of morons.

 

Elitha: No matter… I grow faint. I must leave now… But fear not, Lewa. I won’t bring any harm to you or Princess Midna.

 

*And with that, Elitha disappears into the shadows. The moment she does, the spiders go away and the pumpkins become non-sentient again.*

 

Midna: Okay, well looks like whatever we call this holiday is a disaster and everyone is miserable. What are we going to do now?

 

Lewa: We’re going to Diznee Land!

 

Midna: Disney Land?

 

Lewa: No, Diznee Land.

 

Midna: Uh… I won’t even ask. Look, I think it’s best we go try and find her before she hurts herself.

 

Lewa: Probably. Who knows what she might get herself into…?

 

Midna: Where else would she go?

 

Lewa: The Statues? She did say they were her only friends.

 

Midna: It’s a start, I guess.

 

*Later at the creepy statue…*

 

Lewa: Oh, look, there she is.

 

Midna: Wow. I’m impressed. You actually got that right.

 

Lewa: Elitha! There you are!

 

Elitha, crying: Go, away, Lewa… I’d rather you not see me like this… All sad and broken-hearted.

 

Lewa: Nonsense. Maybe a story will help. It’s one told by my ancestor, the Hero of Time.

 

Midna: I… don’t think she’d want to hear that.

 

Lewa, sad: Okay. So then what?

 

Midna, giggles: I have an idea. A wonder, awful idea.

 

Lewa: What is it?

 

Midna: If it’s scaring they want, it’s scaring they get.

 

Elitha: But how will that make them like me?

 

Midna: You’ll see!

 

Metus: That’s my line.

 

*Midna takes the time to banish him to the Zone Where Normal Things Don’t Happen Very Often.*

 

*So after feeling sorry for themselves, everyone one in Metru Nui gathered all their candy and dumped them in front of the statue of Elitha. And some people brought sandwiches to put in front of the statue of the King of Darkness so he wouldn’t come after them either. He has a big appetite.*

 

Teridax: Oh, I do not! *He takes a chomp his fifth sandwich for that day.*

 

*Anyways, so they put the food in front of the statues. Idris was one of the last ones.*

 

Idris: Good bye, candy…

 

*There was a bone-chilling breeze as Idris was about to leave. Then she heard Elitha’s voice…*

 

Elitha: Citizens of Metru Nui! You are wise to leave behind this sweet feast for me! Now I shall devour it instead of feasting upon your souls!

 

*That’s when Idris looked behind her to see the statue was no longer there, but the real Elitha instead, her eyes glowing red like her father’s eyes and her body shrouded in pure shadow.*

 

Idris: It’s the Princess of Darkness!

 

*Everyone who was still there ran off screaming. When they did, Elitha made the shadow go away and forced her eyes to stop glowing red, but instead her natural green.*

 

Elitha: I’m not sure if that was what you wanted me to do.

 

Midna, laughing: No, that was perfect! Trick or treat, little whelps!

 

Lewa: That was… kinda mean.

 

Elitha: I can’t help but agree.

 

Idris: Um… Miss Princess Elitha?

 

Elitha: ???

 

Idris: Do you think you could do this again next year? It was really fun.

 

Elitha: Wait, you liked that? You Matoran are weird. Then again, I used to be one, but somewhat different.

 

Idris:Really?

 

Elitha: Yes, but my origin is another story. So why is it you like being scared?

 

Idris: It’s fun. That’s what Halloween used to be about… before you tried to kill us with the moon. Why are you obsessed with the moon anyway?

 

Elitha: Eh, it’s the closest celestial body around here that I can use. Plus it’s really pretty at night.

 

Idris: So will you do it?

 

Elitha: Well, I guess I’ll have to make plans for next year.

 

Idris: All right! You’re my favorite villain in the Dimwit of Time series!

 

*Idris happily runs back to everyone, telling them Elitha would return for next year.*

 

Lewa: That was totally unexpected.

 

Midna: See, Lewa? On Halloween, it’s all about being scary.

 

Lewa: Okay, you got me on that one.

 

Midna: So, how does it feel for having everyone like you, Elitha?

 

Elitha: I feel… slightly better now. This is great! People love me!

 

Lewa, quietly: Only for fright-scaring them.

 

Midna, quietly: You try something else, then!

 

Lewa, aloud: Well, I guess in the end, everything worked out.

 

Elitha: This spin-off was fulfilling, yet totally pointless!

 

Midna: And we have no loose ends left to cover.

 

*somewhere in the empty field outside the Coliseum…*

 

Antroz: Is someone going to call me an ambulance? I’m seriously dying over here…

 

*Back with the gang, all three of them laugh happily as the story draws to a close.*

 

Teridax: Seriously, my “daughter” gets a holiday and I don’t?! What do I need to do to get some respect around here?! That’s it, I’m done with you all.

 

 

 

[ShadowBionics]

Okay, well this one is an old one, but I still like it. This was initially for a BZPower contest back in the old days with the prompt of the story that involved three Matoran, a Manas, and a disgusting end that was never disclosed in the actual story. I wrote something silly along those lines, but I never submitted it because around that time, I was unsure if my writing was "good" anymore. However, that was the old me, and the new me says "hey, why not?"

 

This story is kind of random, so it's random enough to fit in this collection of short stories based around the Dimwit of Time universe. It was even reworked to fit into that universe. It takes place in The Moron's Mask, so it took place BEFORE Lewa's Halloween II if you want to put it on a timeline. And also to note, in the alternate Alma Nui universe, instead of being a smart and shy little bookworm, Nixie is kind of dim and ditzy. Weird. Only in opposite land. So this Nixie is the total opposite of the Metru Nui Nixie who's the shy, quiet librarian girl.

 

 

 

*It had been another day on the job for the delusioned Toa of Air Lewa, doing whatever quests he could do without messing up in a major sort of way thanks to what little of his mind hadn't been driven insane after he defeated Antroz. Now, though, he decided he would take a day off and relax at the Milk Bar. With his fairy friend Tatl with him, he walked in, met with som very soothing ambiance... courtesy from a guy playing jazz music on a piano and... a blond singer girl... who looks oddly familiar singing right up on stage. I guess call her the "Natalie" of this parallel universe.*

*people applauding.*

Natasha: Thank you. Okay, this song is for all of those lonely hearts out there, struggling to keep holding on.

*That's when Bomonga, the guy at the piano starts up again and Natalie, or I mean "Natasha" starts singing again.*

Lewa: You know, something, Navi, I bet there's nothing better than taking a rest-break here in the milk bar.

Tatl: Really, and how do you figure that?

Lewa: Look around, see for yourself. We're in good company, we've got swell music, and the ever-hawt Natalie singing at the helms.

Tatl: Um, her waitress nametag says "Natasha."

Lewa: But that's not how you pronounce Natalie, Navi.

Tatl: And for the last time, my name it Tatl!

Lewa: Oh, Navi, you so crazy.

Tatl, groans: Whatever. 

Lewa: I don't think there's a single soul here who could ever feel down in a great place like this.

Iruini: I hate my life.

Lewa: What?! Luigi, what do you mean?

Iruini: How many times do I have to tell you I am not this Luigi, I am the hard-working Iruini. How difficult can it be for your simple mind to get someone's name right?

Tatl: I'm right there with you.

Natasha, singing: Don't wanna be your lover... oh-whoa...But I could be your remedy... oh-oh... I don't wanna be your lover... oh-whoa... But I could be your remedy, your cure...

Lewa: That Natalie has the sweetest voice there is.

Iruini: Her name is Natasha, but while I agree with you, not even her beautiful voice can cheer me up. She is every bit as good as her mother, Ingrid... but it is still no use for me.

Lewa: What's the matter with you?

Iruini: If you must know, my girlfriend left me and stole my house from me because I'm so unbelivably poor. I tried to sell Vhisola for money, but that didn't work very well. So now here I am. And to believe it all started that fateful day when that amnesic guy in green ran off with my shield and messed me up...

Lewa, hides Iruini's shield: Yeah, that sounds like a crying shame.

Iruini: And to top it all off, my video game Iruini's Mansion was complete and total failure. It's almost as though it's a lost cause to try and make it in the video game world... don't you agree, Norik?

Norik, from behind the bar: Actually, Super Norik Galaxy sold really well. In fact, it sold so well,  I have a lot of money! I've got so much I can afford to open up a bar that sells nothing but milk! Best idea ever.

Iruini:  I hate you. Gaaki always liked you the best. Where is my chance for love?! At least I, the hard-working Iruini, can just listen to Natasha and her songs of heartbreak to ease my troubled soul.

Lewa: But Natalie's songs are happy and filled with love!

Iruini: I'm not sure who this Natalie girl is, but I don't care much about love right now.

Lewa: You know what can quick-cheer you up?

Iruini: Financial security, that's what.

Lewa: No, how about a story?

Iruini: How about NO?

Lewa: Too bad, I'm going to tell it anyway. Everyone else wants to hear it.

Tatl: No.

Norik: No.

Bomonga: No.

Natasha: No.

Remote 2.0: NO.

Happy Mask Salesman: Shake shake shake.

Lewa: Great! You'll ever-love it so much. I call it "Adventure in the Underground City..."

Lewa, voice-over: Once upon a time there was a city. And it was underground. And there were three Matoran friends. One was a big-brain Matoran. One was a big-brawn Matoran. And one was a girl Matoran, the ones I like the most.

Nixie: Hey, guys, I just got some news.

Talvi: What is it?

Nixie: Grandma is sick and wants to see us.

Midak: So then what do you want us to do?

Nixie: I got this silver bucket of BEEF JERKY ready so we can take it to her.

Talvi: Why that?

Nixie: Because I like it. 

Midak: Always thinking about yourself.

Nixie, blushing: Yeah, thanks. So let's go!

Lewa, voice-over: So the three Matoran friends/siblings or whatever they may be loaded up an Ussal cart and they began to head to Grandma's house. But they were not alone. They were being close-watched by something bad.

Manas: Did someone say BEEF JERKY?! *The Manas then begins to scurry has far as its tread-legs could take it, out of the city and on the way to Grandma's house.*

Lewa, voice-over: So the Manas crab took the high-road as the Matoran took the low-road and he eventuall made it to Grandma's house before they did. When he did, he knocked at the door.

Grandma, in bed: Who's there?

Manas: It's me, Granny.

Grandma: Oh, my!

Manas: Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm scary. Whoo. Now I'm bigger than you and I want some BEEF JERKY! So Get in my belly!

Grandma: Well, if you insist.

Lewa, voice-over: And after a long period of swallowing the old lady completely in one whole-swallow, the creature was successful.

Grandma: It's awful dark in here and what is this squishy thing?

Manas, screams: That's my kidney! I only have two of those, so take it easy! (to himself) Now I have to hurry before those three twerps get here. 

Grandma: What is this stuff?

Manas: That's just my digestive juices... keep it up, and you'll be digested in no time. *The crab slaps on a disguise and jumps into the bed, and no sooner do the Matoran arrive.*

Grandma: Who's there?

Manas: Hey, keep it down, I'm the Granny here! (elderly voice) Come in, my children.

Nixie: hey, Grandma, we brough you something!

Manas: That's splendid, thank you for being so considerate.

Talvi: You look different.

Manas: That's silly, you should recognize your own Grandma! Remember all those times we spend picking strawberries in the summer?

Midak: Yeah, don't be silly, of course it's Grandma!

Talvi: What big eyes you have... they're almost as big as dinner plates.

Manas, getting annoyed: Okay, yes, big eyes, big teeth, and a big appetite! Now give me that bucket!

Lewa, voice-over: So the Manas leapt into the air, the digestive juices coming from its mouth thanks to its before-meal snack.

Nixie: ew! You have a serious drooling problem, Grandma. And your breath smells like hot dogs... old hot dogs!

Talvi, facepalm: What does Takua see in you? 

Lewa, voice-over: So then thinking quickly, Talvi took the bucket from Nixie, taking it to Midak.

Talvi: You're better at this, throw this right into that thing's nasty mouth.

Midak: you sure?

Talvi: Yes! Trust me!

Lewa, voice-over: So using his super-awesome athletic skills, Midak threw the bucket straight into the creatures ugly-mug!

Manas, groaning: Oh... you know, I think I'm going to cut back on the beef... *groans.*

*That's when the Manas crab explodes, all those digestive juices splattering out everywhere, filling the whole house. In fact, the house actualyl burst from being filled with so much fluid. Midak landed on his bottom, Nixie landed on Midak, Talvi landed on Nixie, and Grandma landed on Talvi. Then the bucket landed on Grandma's head.*

Grandma, laughing: Oh, that was the most fun I had in years. I'm feeling much better now!

All 3 Matoran: XD

Grandma: But you do realize you owe me a new house, right?

All 3 Matoran:

Lewa: The end!

Iruini: That was the most horrible story I've ever heard. Plus, I think I'm gonig to have nightmares for a week of gross, digestive acidic fluids.

Lewa: I'm sure everyone else liked my story.

Norik: You'd lose that bet.

Natasha: Oh, hi, sorry, I just went to go pick up my dry cleaning. Did I miss anything?

Bomonga: Only the weirdest story you'd ever hear...

Edited by ShadowBionics, Apr 23 2013 - 01:14 AM.