It is going to be a short serious-romantic comedy-horror epic mix about a young Toa who must find his destiny and gets involved with a shadow mistress and is a cross between being loyal to his sister or to this so-called friend. It’s going to shift a lot in mood among chapters so bear with me and this is just a short introduction/chapter 1. I made this for pure fun and I will update it as much as I can, but I am in College so it may not be updated as much as I would like. I just hope I actually finish this Epic, so if you guys like it yeah for me, if you don’t oh well… I’ll write it anyway. Regardless, I’m aiming for at least 12-15 chapters. However, if it somehow a good story that at least a few people enjoy I might expand it. Also, I’m not the best at grammar, so please point out any mistakes that I know I probably did. So anyway enjoy my… “work” of art… twisted in my image. To give me your honest opinion (and I don't get offended by any criticism so you can say whatever you wish), click here for review this epic.
A few notes before reading, I might change the first chapter some time to be more like the latest two, which is a more first person and is a lot better in general. For any new people reading it try to at least get through the first two chapters before judging it.
Chapter 1: Unforeseen Visitor
A young toa was being trained and preparing for a war for Metra-nui. Her name was Ahja (Ah-jah), she was a toa of lightning. Her sleek form allowed her extraordinary maneuvers and tactical advantages and she wore the great mask of speed. She was being taught by an member of the Order of Mata-nui, who called himself “Ios” (Ee-ohs), he was a wolf-like rahi, but could speak and clearly intelligent. Next to Ahja was another toa, Galatius (Gah-lah-tee-oos), a toa of sonics. He was less graceful and needed much practice. He wore the great mask of underwater breathing. He was not the usual toa and many of the rumors say the was a mistake when he was summoned to the temple with Ahji, while others say he was given only left over elemental powers that Ahji didn’t need or couldn’t use.
His build was slow, weak, and couldn’t swim well, though his mask helps preventing him from drowning. Though he was often ridiculed for his weakness and being saved by Ahji, but occasionally he was proven useful. Though, he was not summoned to train with the Order of Mata-nui, it was because Ahji refused to train with them unless they allowed him to train with them. Ios laughed at the thought, but in the end agreed. Nevertheless, the two were being trained by Ios, but as time went on Ahji improved with great skill, but Galatius failed to advanced. Frustrated he took off to hide in a small cave. There he sat alone in the dark, contemplating on his destiny, his thoughts weighed great doubts about his future or purpose.
Among the cave a shadow figure appeared before him. Galatius felt a shiver down his spine. To deep red eyes glared at his presence with a terrible grin. Galatius readied his sonic boomerang, but the slender dark being laugh and mocked him, the shadow being’s voice sounded female and soft, “And to what end may that worthless weapon bring? I come with an offer you can’t refuse… power that exceeds even your skillful and powerful sister. I desire only one thing…” Galatius desperately replied, “I’m listening…” The dark being grinned and answered, “Your assistance….” Galatius hesitated and then responded, “Uh… I don’t know….” The shadow moved more close and her voice became seductive, “Don’t you want to feel worthy the title of ‘toa’… praised by name and adored by all? Your sister finally respecting you?” then changed her tone to mockery, “…or forever mocked as weak fool who should be fighting?” Her laugh was cruel and sinister, but sounded beautiful and soft.
She stood there quite for a few seconds and then laughed again and revealed her true form from the shadows. His eyes met hers and he felt an instant longing to love her though he knew her not. Her body was slender and beautiful and whose built was that of a toa but wore small plates of armor colored as dark steel; she also wore a strange gentle mask, but unknown to him it was a great mask of beauty, a rare mask with the power to distract or influence enemies by causing those who look into her eyes a few seconds of hesitation or insecurity, just enough to give her an unfair advantage in influence or fighting, it caused a glitch in most biomechanical beings emotions, but wears off after a few minutes as long as they don’t dwell on her beauty. However, it was only effective among those of the opposite gender, for it is ineffective with mechnoids, some form of rahi, or those who are blind. She moved slowly towards him touch gently his shoulder gradually and grinned.
The dark mistress leant over and kissed Galatius’ lips and for several seconds of feeling her soft lips upon his was breathtaking. He was thrown off guard by such maneuver that he dropped his sonic boomerang. He never felt feelings like this before, but responded, “Who are you and why are you doing this?” She laughed again ignoring his questions, and lifted her hand and placed it on the side of his face, and then channeled energy to him. He felt power surge through him, and his build was no longer weak, for his elemental powers never flowed through him so easily. She disappeared before his eyes laughing until her voice faded into the darkness. Galatius without knowing it was fading and then fainted, lying before her feet in a dark cave. “I’ve been watching you for quite some time now, my dear Galatuis… my sweet love. So gentle and kind I shall rescue you from your ungrateful sister… and then we shall be together forever.” Said the mysterious shadow mistress.
Edited by TrueshadowX01, Mar 30 2013 - 06:36 PM.