IT WAS THE DAY AFTER HIS THIRTIETH BIRTHDAY, AND JOHN HAD TO LEAVE FOR THE WEST COAST. He had lived in New York for twelve years now. That was twelve years worth of friendships he had to say goodbye to.
It was only the afternoon, but the sun was already down. He put on nice clothes and ran all the way to Diana's house.
All my bags are packed I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin' it's early morn
The taxi's waitin' he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die
He knocked on the door to her apartment.
The sound of feet coming down the stairs.
She opened the door and he leaned against the railing on the front steps. Her short, golden hair framed her face perfectly.
“Does it hurt to say goodbye one last time?” he asked. The coldness of the air turned his breathe into light clouds.
“I was worried you wouldn’t say goodbye enough. It’s hard not having you around as a friend anymore,” she said.
“It happens,” said John. “It’s an inevitable thing in life you have to get over.”
“I’ve never actually…” she said.
“Never?” inquired John. “Never ever?”
“No,” said Diana. “I guess I’d consider myself lucky. But you get over it, I imagine.”
“Maybe,” said John. “It depends on the person. I had friends for my first two years of college who then went their separate ways. I still wish we could keep in contact, although there’s nothing we can do for each other when we’re on separate coasts. I still really miss them. I can live still, but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever forget them and be nostalgic from time to time.”
“You look cold out,” said Diana. “Come in!”
Inside they prepared hot chocolate and sipped at it under the warm orange lights of the kitchen. It was an exceedingly nice apartment. It only lacked a fireplace.
He wondered of Diana was expecting him. She was wearing sleek pinstripe pants and a beautiful violet blouse. Even though she was just his best friend, he felt oddly attracted to her. It brought back memories of when he so insecurely wondered if she was the one. He had to mentally slap himself, then and now. It wasn't right to think that.
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
‘Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh baby, I hate to go
“Nothing heals the soul like a good cup of hot chocolate,” said Diana. She smiled and leaned her elbows against the table, closer to him. She really seemed to be waiting for him and didn’t have much to say.
John sipped at the hot chocolate, and winced at how hot it was. He winked and smiled with one corner of his mouth while lifting the cup up to his face again. No, it couldn't be done. He had to put it down. Maybe it would get colder after a long while of conversation.
“I really wish I could see you again,” he said.
“I do, too,” said Diana.
“What if I do come back?”
“I’d still be here,” said Diana.
“As nice as this place is, it’s still just an apartment. Sooner or later, with your upward mobility, even you will move on. This isn’t the house of someone who’s settled down.”
“I’ll send you a letter if that has happened,” said Diana.
“That’s very thoughtful…” said John. He tapped his foot.
As inevitably happens in all such conversations, there was an awkward silence.
“I think I’ll get working on that hot chocolate, then,” he said, and he continued to sip at it one bit at a time.
“In case you’re labeling this as an awkward silence, John, don’t worry. I choose to think of it as savoring the moment.”
John put down the cup.
She leaned in and kissed him.
John was conflicted, but he kissed back.
“I just wanted to do that once before having to say goodbye,” said Diana.
John felt ashamed. He kissed her back and he hadn’t even the slightest reason to. He was moving away, never to see her again. It was a shallow jab at pleasure. Yet it felt so good. It felt so sincere. It felt right. He looked into her eyes.
“Maybe we’ll see each other again,” he said.
“Would this be motivation for you to come back?” she said. Then the bombshell: “I think I’m in love with you.”
John thought about how far away he would be. He would be on the West coast, thousands of miles away. He couldn’t come back regularly. He would have to prioritize her over so many other things in life. Yet, he could afford it.
“Yes, I think I will,” he replied. He scooted his chair next to hers and embraced her. “I’ll never let you go.”
“Tell me that you love me,” she said.
“I love you, Diana.”
There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring
The cups rested empty on the table now. In the next room, they they were both on the couch with John’s arm around Diana’s shoulder, both looking through old pictures that they and their friends had taken together.
“Hey look, here’s that one time we met that girl named Aristotle,” said Diana.
“I don’t mind that name,” said John. “I actually like it.”
“So if we had a girl, you would consider it?”
“Would you?”
“I guess I would.”
John could feel himself sinking ever more deeply into the couch as he grew more relaxed. Somehow, the ideas that were coming to his mind weren’t intimidating him anymore. They were so easy to articulate, so easy to share.
“Diana, when I come back, will you marry me?”
“I’ll have to remember that this is how you proposed,” she said. “Do I get a ring?”
“No, it was just a spur of the moment idea,” he confessed. “But I’ve thought about it. We’re both established. We’re both ready to settle down. We’re best friends. We’re stable people. And we love each other. In our adult capacity to know what love is, it’s making sense to me.”
Diana leaned her head into his shoulder. “Yes, John. I will marry you.”
John rested his head on hers.
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
‘Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
The next day John was at the airport. He had called all of his guy friends to let than know and Diana had called all of her gal friends to do the same. It was now officially confirmed. Everyone knew. The held each other’s hands as they walked through the airport, an engaged couple.
They both wore their business clothes. He had on his black tie and trimmed suit and she was wearing a woman’s business suit. While it was true that they both had work that day, they also wanted to make these last few moments count for each other. This was dressier than their usual business attire.
He turned to Diana before he got on. “I don’t know what to say without being overly romantic.”
Diana hugged him. “I’m fine with ‘I love you.’”
“I will love you. Always.” They pulled apart. John looked at his watch. The plane left at five in the morning, and four o'clock right now. Passengers were expected to get on the plan a half hour before it took off. He picked up his roller. They were right next to the flight terminal. With half an hour left, he didn't have to hurry, so he wasn't picking it up to get going.
He pulled out from one pocket a cube-shaped, fuzzy case.
“I bought this at the last moment,” he said.
“It’s beautiful,” said Diana, before she even opened it up. Then she did open it up, and it was, of course, an engagement ring. The only thing that could perhaps be an unexpected touch was that it was aquamarine instead of diamond. Diana had been born one month too early for diamond.
“Can you say it again, now that you’ve actually seen it?”
“It’s beautiful,” she said. She kissed him in the cheek. “When will we see each other again?”
“I’ll be back on the holidays,” said John. “I’ll send you letters every weekend. Whatever you do, though, don’t send me letters back starting with ‘Dear John…’’
He looked into her eyes. They matched the aquamarine gem around her finger. He rested his forehead against hers. For just a moment, he could sleep before getting on the flight, let his mind escape to those far off places that it desperately wanted to go, and just rejoice in the comfort she gave him.
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, let me kiss you
Close your eyes and I’ll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won’t have to leave alone
About the times I won’t have to say…
John was leaving on a jet plan. He didn’t know when he would be back again. Looking at his schedule, he just knew he would miss the first few holidays. As the ground grew smaller, he rolled his head to face the window, and just let the ever-changing scenery to lull him asleep. Then he dreamed of Diana.
After all this craziness, he could finally settle down.
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
‘Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
‘Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh baby, I hate to go
Edited by Jean Valjean, Mar 28 2013 - 11:17 PM.
