Season 1 - ReBirth
Season 2 - Fire Rising
PSAs: Holiday Season
Dear Tahu Stars,
I do not take pleasure in a letter such as this one, but I fear it is necessary, regarding the current situation. Upon your arrival I had hoped that we could become allies, perhaps even friends. Unfortunately, this has turned out not to be the case. Before this civil war escalates beyond our control, I have written this as a request for peace in the hopes that you will see your errors and correct them. I will re-iterate that I have no problems giving you control of the Bionicle sets, but to do through violent means is a big “no” in my books. Send a reply with the confirmation of peace and we’ll settle this the old fashioned way with a vote.
Or you can continue to be manipulated by your troops, many of whom were in jail for a REASON, Tahu Stars. Reasons I hope that, regardless of any decisions past this point, you will consider and acknowledge before replacing the sets in question back where they belong. If you do not, they could have catastrophic consequences.
Prologue: The Numbers
Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning,
No one could be sweeter than my sweetie when I meet her in the morning.
Where the morning glories Twine around the door,
Whispering pretty stories I long to hear once more.
Strolling with my girlie where the dew is pearly early in the morning,
Butterflies all flutter up and kiss each little buttercup at dawning,
If I had Aladdin's lamp for only a day, I'd make a wish and here's what I'd say:
Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning.
“Turn that thing off already, for the name of Tohu. That song is too sad to be playing on a beautiful day such as this.”
“Sorry about that. I like Trocadero.”
“I don’t care who you like buddy, it’s the first day of spring – doesn’t Trocadero have anything more upbeat?”
“Um... looks like we have Blood Gulch Blues on the iPod.”
“Don’t you dare put that thing on, it’s almost as sad as this one. Wait, do you have the original version of this?”
“Heck no, I hate jazz. I deleted every single jazz song they had on here... and that was a lot of songs. It took me almost four hours.”
“Was the original version of this on there?”
“Probably, considering how many songs they had. There were over three hundred.”
“...I hate you sometimes.”
“Somehow, I really do not care.”
“Somehow, that doesn’t change the fact that I dislike you immensely.”
“Somehow, that – you know what, no. I’m not getting into this catfight again.”
“Suit yourself, Evo. Someday you’re gonna find that the iPod has nothing but jazz on it.”
“Hey Rocka, you know what?”
“What is it Evo?”
“I hate you.”
Takanuva Stars, a primarily white set with both gray and silver armour as a secondary colour within his scheme, pointed his staff up towards the attic as he led a red set by the name of Furno through a tour of the house.
“You see that trap door?” the white Toa asked.
“Yes, obviously I can see it. Why are there scorch marks?” asked Furno.
“That is for me to know and for you to never know or question again.”
“I can tell that this is going to be an informative tour.”
“I don’t get paid to do this. Excuse me if I take some liberties.”
Furno rolled his eyes as they walked further down the hall, choosing to remain silent for several minutes until Takanuva Stars halted in front of a room that held a shining gold plaque.
“The Bedroom...” Furno said, reading it.
“It is arguably the most important room in the house.” Takanuva Stars explained. “Lewa Mata lives there, as do a majority of the sets... the good ones, at any rate. Before Lewa Mata was our leader... well, that’s not important.”
“If it’s not important, why even mention it?”
“Well, you see, sometimes a Toa slips up and says something he’s not supposed to. Then, when his leader discovers he said something wrong after the guy begins pestering everybody with questions, he tickles the offending slip-upper to death.”
Furno opened his mouth to say something, but found that the statement was one he could not really find an appropriate response to.
“That said, let’s forget this ever happened and move right along!” Takanuva Stars said, moving right along.
“Alright then, I guess. The history lesson can wait until another time.” Furno said.
The two slowly hopped down the stairwell, coming to a stop in front of a rather ominous looking door. In fact, it was so ominous that when Takanuva Stars told him to stay away, Furno slapped him across the face.
“Of course I’m not going in there!” Furno cried out. “For goodness’ sake, I’m not a moron! Who wants to go on the other side of a door like that?! Where is that, anyway?!”
Takanuva Stars glared at him and rubbed his mask. “That door opens up into the stairs that take you to the basement... not much ever happens down there, because most sets stay away from down there. Trust me. Some seriously creepy stuff has walked out of there.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Furno shuddered. “Seriously, you need to hire an interior decorator for this place. Scorched trap doors, ominous doors, creepy rooms, a broken time machine outside – HURK!”
“What was that about a time machine?!” Takanuva Stars hissed, clutching Furno by the throat and glancing from side to side nervously.
“Someone – mentioned that – it was – broken time machine.” Furno managed. “Can’t – remember who – it was.”
Takanuva Stars let the Hero go, breathing in deeply and rolling his eyes.
“Goodness Furno, don’t scare me like that.” He said.
“Scare you like that?!” Furno yelled. “You throttled me a moment ago! Give me some warning next time!”
“The point was sort of that you didn’t have any warning – you couldn’t fight back.”
“...I hate you.”
“Yeah well, so far I’m not too fond of you either. At least the other new sets don’t talk all the time.”
“...yeah, you’d be surprised.”
“...so then I told him ‘Furno, you need to stop being such a lazy cow and go to Lewa Mata yourself. You aren’t going to be given a tour otherwise.’ He glared at me for a few seconds, which I suppose was a little scary, but then he just left without doing anything and I got to put on Season 6 instead of Season 3.” Evo said.
“Hey Evo, you care to guess something?”
“What is it Rocka?”
“How much, on a scale of 1-100, do you think I care about your story that I was present in the room for?”
“...hmm... that’s difficult to answer. Is it 68?”
“It’s lower, you dolt. It’s far lower than that.”
“Alright then, just give me a second. I’m gonna try and guess... 12?”
“Try about -9, Evo.”
“Ouch. That was harsh, Rocka. That was harsh. I think you may have hurt my feelings.”
“Good, I was aiming to do that you fatty.”
“That’s always assuming I actually consider your opinion to hold any value whatsoever.”
“Ooh, getting aggressive are we? I’d take that as a threat if you were actually, you know, physically capable of lumbering more than four steps at a time.”
“I’m not fat, stupid! Do you have any idea how heavy this stupid tank arm is?! I have nothing on the other side to even balance it with! So excuse me!”
“Suddenly taking offense? I think you do consider my opinion after all!”
Evo sighed and shook his head, plopping back down on the couch to continue watching the last few scenes of Season 6. Rocka chuckled and hopped over, poking Evo in the back with his crossbow and then jumping down to the floor with a very clear air of victory about him. Evo mumbled something unintelligible under his breath, and Rocka paused.
“Would you care to repeat that for my ancient, withering ears?”
“I said that someday I’ll find a way to beat you in one of those arguments.”
“That is extremely unlikely, considering I’ve beaten you in all 16 of them so far.”
“...I’m just gonna finish my show.”
“You do that. Let me know how it works out for you once you’ve hit Season 9.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“Well, everyone who’s seen every season agrees that Season 9 sucks.”
“Nothing could be worse than Season 3.”
“At least Season 3 had a plot.”
“...oh dear lord, you have to be kidding me.”
“You know Evo, for once, I wish I was kidding. You’ll have to suffer through it on your own this time I’m afraid.”
“I think I’ll finish this later. I need a bagel right now.”
“See what I mean, fatso? Your solution to every problem – go to the fridge.”
“No it isn’t, stupid!”
“Give me one time it wasn’t.”
“Rocka, how often do you find peanut butter and bagels in the fridge?”
“...I’m just gonna let that one go.”
“Please remind me now why we have been staring at a melting pond for fifteen minutes.” Furno requested. “This is almost as bad as watching grass growing.”
“Trust me, this isn’t anywhere near there. I would know.” Takanuva Stars replied. “I’m just seeing if I can spot anything.”
“That is none of your business, newbie.”
“If it’s none of my business, why did you drag me out to look for it with you?”
“...shut up with your logic. We’re going back inside.”
“That’s more like it! It’s disgusting out here... yuck. So much mud everywhere.”
Far above in the Bedroom, a green Toa watched the two sets leave the pool to return inside. He nodded slowly, lowering his axe down.
“Be careful where you step with him, Takanuva.” Lewa Mata whispered. “I’m watching you.”
“Who is that you’re watching, boss?” asked Berix, a blue Agori. “Can I watch them with you? It sounds creepy and fun.”
Lewa Mata sighed, the moment and tone he’d been going for ruined.
“No, Berix, you can’t. They’re already gone now, and you’re too weird to boot.”
To Be Continued!
Next time in Chapter 1, 10% More Insults:
“What are you two doing here?” a deep voice rumbled from the door way of the Kitchen.
“Oh... hey Black Phantom, what’s up?” Rocka asked.
“I am standing in the door way, asking what is up.” Black Phantom replied, nodding towards Evo. “What in the bloody heck is he eating?”
“Um... well sir, to be honest... I’m not entirely sure.” Rocka said. “He started with a bagel and peanut butter, then he moved onto the roast beef, and now... I have no idea.”
“Evo, what are you eating?” Black Phantom asked.
“Imph eaphin’ a ferry larf sanfif!”
“Would you mind repeating that in English, rather than fatty?”
Evo and Rocka have an important chat with Black Phantom, while Furno and Takanuva Stars partake in more antics! I'll see you all Friday! This is gonna be a fun ride!
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Edited by Hurricane iBrow, May 02 2013 - 02:41 PM.