Hmm, I wonder if I can use it on every single one of my posts, so everybody would think I was new ...
Now what was the number again?
Useless Bzp Junk That You Must Have!
Started by
Toa of Nerds
, Oct 16 2011 10:24 AM
169 replies to this topic
#162
Toa of Nerds
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Emerging Stone Champion
Posted Oct 29 2012 - 08:28 PM
Sorry I haven't posted the chapter yet. The last couple of weeks have been really crazy. I'll post it up sometime this week.
-don't touch my pocket protector
-don't touch my pocket protector
Three great comedies at one low, low price....NOTHING!
Kicking the Bucket (archived)
Three late-middle age matoran think of something they want to do before they kick the bucket.
Choose Your Own Bionicle Adventure (archived)
Navigate your way through a myriad of meaningless choices as you try to not make a fool of yourself in perhaps the only comedy ever written almost entirely in spoiler tags.
Useless BZP Junk that you Must Have!!!
Get to your phone, whip out your credit card, and prepare to buy some useless BZPower related junk that has no benefit on society except that you want it!!!
#163
Content with Life
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Servant of Life
Posted Oct 30 2012 - 12:11 AM
Don't worry, I understand the feeling.
#164
Toa of Nerds
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Emerging Stone Champion
Posted Nov 03 2012 - 09:06 PM
Really sorry for the delay. I had a really busy week and couldn't write as much as I'd like. Hopefully I'll be more punctual in the future.
Announcer: Are you sick of trolls stalking you all over BZPower?
Evil Minions: Yeah!
Announcer: Do you want them to get off your back!
Evil Minions: You bet!
Announcer: Then you need your very own Anti-Troll Aura!
Evil Minions: What?
Announcer: An Anti-Troll Aura! The Anti-Troll Aura will emit an Aura of Troll-Repellent to prevent trolls from stalking you!
Evil Minions: Amazing!
Announcer: You betcha it’s amazing; it’s patented
Evil Minions: Ooooooh!
Announcer: The Anti-Troll Aura has several ways to give trolls the message that you don’t belong here!
Evil Minions: Wow!
Announcer: First of all, there’s moderator-FEAR ™!
Evil Minions: What?
Announcer: Are you likely to steal something when a police car’s on the block?
Evil Minions: Nooooo…
Announcer: Then are you likely to troll somebody when there’s a moderator watching the topic?
Evil Minions: I don’t guess so…
Shadowy Figure: It’s we don’t guess so. Plural pronoun people!
Evil Minions: Sorry…
Announcer: Exactly! That’s why the Anti-Troll Aura does this:
Evil Minions: Ahhhh!
Announcer: But trolls don’t usually stop and vague, unsubstantiated threats from authority figures, do they?
Evil Minions: No!
Announcer: So that’s why we’ve also installed another anti-troll security system: the Troll-Spooker!
Evil Minions: The what?
Announcer: Get some to scare the trolls out of their wits! The Anti-Troll Aura automatically detects persistent trolls that get passed the initial security system, and send them the following PM:
Evil Minions: Oooh, spooky!
Announcer: And that’s not all!
Evil Minions: It isn’t?
Announcer: NO! Because with the Anti-Troll Aura, the harassment doesn’t stop at BZPower!
Evil Minions: It doesn’t?
Announcer: That’s right, when the Anti-Troll Aura detects a troll it hacks into their account and obtains all their personal information!
Evil Minions: Ooooooh!
Announcer: E-mail address, cell phone number, home address: everything!
Evil Minions: Incredible!
Announcer: That’s right, and if they troll you then they’ll see no end to the harassment!
Evil Minions: All right!
Announcer: We’re ratcheting our anti-troll measures to near stalker levels! They troll will receive suspicious e-mails, strange phone calls in the middle of the night, and even be sent letters like this:
Evil Minions: Nice!
Announcer: This revolutionary product is also 100% GUARANTEED!
Evil Minions: Wow!
Announcer: If trolls don’t get off your back within 30 days, then just notify us and get a full refund!*
*lololololol jk
Evil Minions: That’s too good to be true!
Announcer: You bet it is! So call now and get trolls off your back forever!
Episode Six
Announcer: Are you sick of trolls stalking you all over BZPower?
Evil Minions: Yeah!
Announcer: Do you want them to get off your back!
Evil Minions: You bet!
Announcer: Then you need your very own Anti-Troll Aura!
Evil Minions: What?
Announcer: An Anti-Troll Aura! The Anti-Troll Aura will emit an Aura of Troll-Repellent to prevent trolls from stalking you!
Evil Minions: Amazing!
Announcer: You betcha it’s amazing; it’s patented
Evil Minions: Ooooooh!
Announcer: The Anti-Troll Aura has several ways to give trolls the message that you don’t belong here!
Evil Minions: Wow!
Announcer: First of all, there’s moderator-FEAR ™!
Evil Minions: What?
Announcer: Are you likely to steal something when a police car’s on the block?
Evil Minions: Nooooo…
Announcer: Then are you likely to troll somebody when there’s a moderator watching the topic?
Evil Minions: I don’t guess so…
Shadowy Figure: It’s we don’t guess so. Plural pronoun people!
Evil Minions: Sorry…
Announcer: Exactly! That’s why the Anti-Troll Aura does this:
Evil Minions: Ahhhh!
Announcer: But trolls don’t usually stop and vague, unsubstantiated threats from authority figures, do they?
Evil Minions: No!
Announcer: So that’s why we’ve also installed another anti-troll security system: the Troll-Spooker!
Evil Minions: The what?
Announcer: Get some to scare the trolls out of their wits! The Anti-Troll Aura automatically detects persistent trolls that get passed the initial security system, and send them the following PM:
Evil Minions: Oooh, spooky!
Announcer: And that’s not all!
Evil Minions: It isn’t?
Announcer: NO! Because with the Anti-Troll Aura, the harassment doesn’t stop at BZPower!
Evil Minions: It doesn’t?
Announcer: That’s right, when the Anti-Troll Aura detects a troll it hacks into their account and obtains all their personal information!
Evil Minions: Ooooooh!
Announcer: E-mail address, cell phone number, home address: everything!
Evil Minions: Incredible!
Announcer: That’s right, and if they troll you then they’ll see no end to the harassment!
Evil Minions: All right!
Announcer: We’re ratcheting our anti-troll measures to near stalker levels! They troll will receive suspicious e-mails, strange phone calls in the middle of the night, and even be sent letters like this:
Evil Minions: Nice!
Announcer: This revolutionary product is also 100% GUARANTEED!
Evil Minions: Wow!
Announcer: If trolls don’t get off your back within 30 days, then just notify us and get a full refund!*
*lololololol jk
Evil Minions: That’s too good to be true!
Announcer: You bet it is! So call now and get trolls off your back forever!
Three great comedies at one low, low price....NOTHING!
Kicking the Bucket (archived)
Three late-middle age matoran think of something they want to do before they kick the bucket.
Choose Your Own Bionicle Adventure (archived)
Navigate your way through a myriad of meaningless choices as you try to not make a fool of yourself in perhaps the only comedy ever written almost entirely in spoiler tags.
Useless BZP Junk that you Must Have!!!
Get to your phone, whip out your credit card, and prepare to buy some useless BZPower related junk that has no benefit on society except that you want it!!!
#165
fishers64
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Mata Nuian Protector Defeated
Posted Nov 04 2012 - 02:15 AM
Good chapter as usual, the images were amazing. 
However, I have a couple of nitpicks:
Emphasis mine. I think there is a missing word somewhere in the sentence, or one needs changed. It probably should be "stop and heed vague, unsubstantiated threats" or "stop for vague, unsubstantiated threats".
I think the Announcer needs to realize that Black Six's name comes in red. That should be an add-on enhancement.
Indeed.
And the funniest thing is that this is the sixth episode...
However, I have a couple of nitpicks:
Announcer: But trolls don’t usually stop and vague, unsubstantiated threats from authority figures, do they?
Emphasis mine. I think there is a missing word somewhere in the sentence, or one needs changed. It probably should be "stop and heed vague, unsubstantiated threats" or "stop for vague, unsubstantiated threats".
I think the Announcer needs to realize that Black Six's name comes in red. That should be an add-on enhancement.
Evil Minions: That’s too good to be true!
Indeed.
And the funniest thing is that this is the sixth episode...
#166
Content with Life
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Servant of Life
Posted Nov 08 2012 - 06:33 AM
Hmm ... why does that screenshot looking so badly photoshopped?
...
Nah, it's totally my imagination. I should really order this thingamajiggy.
...
Nah, it's totally my imagination. I should really order this thingamajiggy.
#167
Toa of Nerds
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Emerging Stone Champion
Posted Nov 18 2012 - 04:45 PM
Episode Seven
Announcer: Do you follow the community of BZPower obsessively?
Evil Minions: Yes!
Announcer: Are you devoted to BZPower to an unhealthy degree?
Evil Minions: Yes!
Announcer: Are you ready to step up your obsession to the next level?
Evil Minions: Yes!
Announcer: Then you need to play Fantasy BZPower!
Evil Minions: What?
Announcer: That's right! Create your own team of BZPower posters and get points based off of the content they produce!
Evil Minions: That's sounds like fun!
Announcer: Challenge your friends to see who knows the most about the community!
Evil Minions: Wow!
Announcer: But this isn't just for fun!
Evil Minions: It isn't?
Announcer: That's right! You can now play for cash rewards!
Evil Minions: Nice!
Announcer: You got it right, if you sign up for our official prize leagues, then you could win up to $5,000 and a trip to BZPower's office!
Black Six: Wait, when did we authorize this? And when did we get an office?
Announcer: Not important!
Evil Minions: Yeah!
Announcer (whispering): I mean seriously, when have we ever come through with one of our offers?
Evil Minions: Yeah!
Announcer: Anyway...challenge your friends!
Evil Minions: Yeah...
Announcer: So, how is all of this scored?
Evil Minions: How?
Announcer: Through an innovated technique! Using our patented We Spy On You Everywhere 5000, we constantly track down the post made by every BZPower user, and you get points for the activities of the BZPower users on your team!
Evil Minions: Wow!
Announcer: For instance you get:
1 point for every post
5 points for every topic started
50,000 points for every topic started (note that the admins have to get around to reimplementing the hot topics for this to count)
500 for every proto point
750 points for any comic, story, or RPG started
10 points for posting a chapter in an epic
9,000,000,000 for a post made by GregF (if you own GregF)
Evil Minions: Snazzy!
Announcer: But that isn't all!
Evil Minions: Oh no it isn't!
Announcer: Because if you order within the next five minutes, then we'll also give you access to our top-notch team of Fantasy BZPower experts!
Evil Minions: Oooh!
Announcer: We give you the information you need to succeed! That's a $500 value, yours completely free!
Evil Minions: Wow!
Announcer: And right now you can join Fantasy BZPower for cheaper than ever!
Evil Minions: Really?
Announcer: Yeah! I mean, it just started!
Evil Minions: Yeah...
Announcer: Challenge your friends and compete for the $5,000 cash prize for the low, low price of only $19.95 a month!
Evil Minions: Wow, that's super low!
Announcer: You got that right! So what are you waiting for? Stop surfing BZPower and call now so you can start surfing BZPower obsessively!
Evil Minions: Call now!
Edited by Toa of Nerds, Nov 18 2012 - 04:46 PM.
Three great comedies at one low, low price....NOTHING!
Kicking the Bucket (archived)
Three late-middle age matoran think of something they want to do before they kick the bucket.
Choose Your Own Bionicle Adventure (archived)
Navigate your way through a myriad of meaningless choices as you try to not make a fool of yourself in perhaps the only comedy ever written almost entirely in spoiler tags.
Useless BZP Junk that you Must Have!!!
Get to your phone, whip out your credit card, and prepare to buy some useless BZPower related junk that has no benefit on society except that you want it!!!
#168
Content with Life
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Servant of Life
Posted Nov 18 2012 - 06:06 PM
Whoever gets me on their team is instant victory.
#169
fishers64
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Mata Nuian Protector Defeated
Posted Nov 18 2012 - 09:07 PM
No, whoever gets Erebus on their team is instant victory, because he owns GregF. 
Anyway, good chapter Toa of Nerds. Always a chuckle from the evil minions.
Anyway, good chapter Toa of Nerds. Always a chuckle from the evil minions.
#170
Content with Life
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Servant of Life
Posted Nov 19 2012 - 03:48 AM
Good point. Erebus is instant victory.
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