14 replies to this topic

[Meta Nuva]

 

 

Before I give you guys Season 2 of The Fire Chronicles, I figured, "hey, why not try making an actual prequel this time?"

 

So I did. Read on to see what it's about, because if I tell you here, the story will never be read .

 

So here we go.

 

Before The Madness: Arrivals

 

Prologue: Peace

 

            6 Bion Circle, known to you, folks, as the House, was built in 1995 as the mansion of a guy who would be useless to the story regardless of whether I mentioned his name or not. What is important is that he was a rich LEGO fanatic, so rich that he was able to get LEGO to ship sets right to his front door until he left the House in 2018. This is the story of the BIONICLEs and how their lives were before Tahu came.

            ~Meta

 

Summer 2002

            A large box of sets was dropped into the room. Moments later, the man shut the door and went to work.

            For a moment, the room was as silent as it had been before the door had opened. Which was, in truth, not silent at all.

            Lewa Mata dropped in front of the box as soon as the door shut, shaking it to feel the contents. “Yup, definitely LEGOs.”

            Gali Mata sighed, walking out from under the table next to him. “No kidding.”

            “What do you mean, ‘no kidding’? One time we got pizza in a box.”

            “In a pizza box, Lewa. Eeesh, I worry about you sometimes.”

            “Aw, how sweet—OUCH!”

            “And now to open this box. Too bad our owner takes all the catalogues, so who’s inside this?”

            “Please be me, please be me,” Jala muttered.

            “Hush, Mctoran,” Turaga Onewa said. “Who would make an annoying character like you again?”

            “Hey, I’m not as annoying as Lewa.”

            “He’s a Toa. He ain’t going anywhere.”

            “Oh my,” Gali Mata said, throwing the package paper and seeing the box’s true contents. “Lewa, wake up Tahu.”

            “Why?” Lewa queried. Groaning, Gali pointed inside the box, and immediately Lewa sped away to the Bedroom.

 

In the Bedroom…

            Tahu Mata lay in bed, thinking. Once entering the House, the sets unanimously voted Tahu Mata the leader of the BIONICLEs. Under his rule, he’d moved the Throwbots and RoboRiders into a separate room far away from the BIONICLEs, controlled the Bohrok and kept Gali Mata from killing Lewa Mata. Life had been good.

            “What could possibly change life as we know it?” Tahu Mata mused.

            “Tahu? Are you awake?”

            Tahu Mata groaned for a moment, then threw off the covers and jumped out of bed. He hit the carpet like a dropped pin, and opened the door for Lewa Mata. “What happened? Did the new arrivals not come in?”

            “They have. It’s a matter of what’s in them that you should lose sleep over.”

            “Bohrok of Pie?” Lewa Mata shook his head. “Toa Jala?” Again Lewa Mata shook his head. “Well, what then?”

            “Perhaps you should come with me…Tahu Mata.”

 

To Be Continued…

 

New Characters:

Narrator

Lewa Mata

Gali Mata

Jala

Turaga Whenua

Tahu Mata

 

I can't take it much longer with these colors >  .

 

How was it?

 

~LTT~

Edited by Link: Toa of the Triforce, Jan 20 2013 - 02:18 PM.

[Meta-Mind]

Well, except for the fact that it's really, really obvious what's in these canister sets, we have a mystery on our hands!

I'm mostly curious to see how you handle this - I actually had a similar comedy idea awhile back which involved the Toa Nuva and Bohrok-Kal attempting to take over from (or destroy) their original counterparts. Of course, I scrapped it for the most part when I realized that it was nearly identical (at first, at least) to ibrow's Tahu vs. Tahu.

[Meta Nuva]

This won't be like TvT--first of all, it's summer 2002, which means that there's no army-building (haha, building). And plus, the Kal were out in Winter 2003.

 

Which makes it blatantly obvious as to who's in that box .

 

Please note that I'm not doing a C+C, mainly because the colors don't show up on BZP. Also, I forget to update it. So take note at the end of the chappy (when you've finished reading it, of course) to see who is new, and who died.

 

Chapter 1 should be up by the end of the week, if not tomorrow.

 

~LTT~

[Meta Nuva]

Before the Madness: Arrivals

 

Chapter 1: Insults

 

The new sets were opened, and built, as tradition put it. But soon enough, the older BIONICLEs would dearly regret it…

 

Summer 2002

            “Wow…that sword…and that shield…wouldn’t help against a Fikou spider,” Kopaka Nuva said, looking at his old self. “I can’t believe I even looked like that.”

            “Well, at least my mask isn’t melted,” Kopaka Mata said.

            “How dare you say that! My mask isn’t melted, it just got more powerful in the Energized Protodermis!”

            “So it got mushy in the sun?”

            “I…hate you. Which effectively means that I hate me, but I’m going to ignore that for now.”

            “You are so pompous,” Kopaka Mata muttered.

            “And you are a friggin’ broomstick. When’s the last time you ate?”

            “Never, mainly because I didn’t want my mask to melt like yours.”

            “Shut up.”

 

In the Kitchen…

            “And this, new self, is the—wait, where are you?” Pohatu Mata queried.

            “Over here,” Pohatu Nuva yelled. He sat on the top of the polished granite counter, as if nothing had happened. “Why do you ask?”

            “I ask because I wish to know HOW ON EARTH DID YOU GET UP THERE?”

            “Hey, lay off the caps, dude. I just ran up the wall, across the ceiling, then landed on the chandelier and swung over here.”

            “And I didn’t notice that?”

            “Please. If there’s one thing I know about you, Pohatu Sr., it’s that you talk and talk and pick your nose—“

            “Pohatu Sr.? Pick my nose? Good grief, I’m only a year old!”

            “And some silver armor to that, plus a new mask, new tools, and new Feet Additions, and you look like a five-year old’s MOC.”

            “Are you friggin’—“

            “Why would I? The Toa Nuva are the new guys, old self. And once we’re in…you guys will be forgotten, and fast.”

 

In the Upstairs Foyer…

            “Well, if it isn’t me,” Tahu Nuva said. Tahu Mata had been escorted by Lewa Mata to the BIONICLE Room, but it had taken seconds for some of the Nuva to break out. “At least I didn’t look like Pohatu Mata when I was a Mata, right, Lewa Nuva?”

            “Or Onua Nuva, with those horrid claws…”

            “Or Kopaka Mata, with those holes in his shield…”

            “I’d forgotten that. Hey, Mata Nui, flying down to—“

            “Stop that,” Tahu Mata commanded. When the two continued, Tahu Mata yelled “OY!”

            The two stopped. “Sorry, your majesty—“

            “Don’t talk to him like that! He’s your leader; listen to him!”

            “On the dot, Lewa. Anyway, what on earth are you guys doing outside without one of us?”

            “Oh, you mean you Mata people? We really need you guys to explore the house? Isn’t this ridiculous, Lewa Nuva?”

            “Indeed, Tahu.”

            “What’s this ‘Tahu’ business? He’s Tahu! The one and only!”

            “EHHHH! Wrong. Aren’t I a Tahu, silly Mata?”

            “No, Tahu Nuva. You are Tahu Nuva. Not Tahu.”

            “Couldn’t you shorten my name?”

            “Ain’t nobody got time for that. And new self, did I tell you that your new teeth are weird?”

            “Says the guy who has no armor.”

            “Did you not see the ball on my chest?”

            “Did you not see the actual hands that I have?”

            “Tahu, I’m taking Lewa Nuva back. How about you…fix your troubles with Tahu Nuva?”

            “Great idea,” Tahu Nuva said. “I’ve got some things to discuss with old—Tahu—here anyway.”

            Once Lewa Mata disappeared up the steps, Tahu Mata swung his sword at Tahu Nuva, who sidestepped and did nothing to continue the fight. “Now look here, oldie. We can make this easy…or hard.”

            “I know what you want, Nuva. And you’re not getting it.”

            “Why not? I could easily beat you in a fight.”

            “It’s not a statement of ‘you’. It’s a statement of the Mata and ‘you’, which turns the statement in my favor.”

            “And how could ‘you’ be so sure?”

            “Six on one. Think about it. However, if you decide to back out…I have another solution, and it’s certainly less violent.”

            “Me? Back out? That’s crazy! But…what is your solution?”

            “It’s really quite simple, Nuva. We don’t even have to do it. They—“ Tahu Mata pointed upstairs—“do. All they do…is grab a pencil, a slip of paper, and write the name of who they think would be more suited for the position.”

            “What? But that’s unfair!”

            “Oh, but certainly more fair than six Toa slicing you up into thirty-six parts, dropping the parts in a canister, and sending the set back to LEGO. Now, which is fairer again?”

To Be Continued…

 

New Characters:

Kopaka Nuva

Kopaka Mata

Pohatu Mata

Pohatu Nuva

Tahu Nuva

Lewa Nuva    

[Meta Nuva]

Before the Madness: Arrivals

 

Chapter 2: Attack

 

Five months have passed since Chapter 1, and as the two Tahus prepare for their fight…

 

Winter 2003

 

            The six Mata attacked brutally, but the evil forces repelled. Soon, the Toa could take no more, and developed a new plan. Within moments, they had won, but suddenly they were plunged down…

            “And that’s where I come in,” Onua Nuva said, pointing to the bubbling Energized Protodermis on the computer screen.

            “Please, Onua. You forgot the rest of us,” Gali Nuva said, facepalming.

            “Sorry about that. It’s just that I LIVE IN A CAVE, you know?”

            “Take a chill pill. Please.”

            “Wait…so do you think I’ll transform like you guys someday?” Jala asked.

            “Absolutely not,” the two Nuva said together.

            “Come, come,” Turaga Whenua said, poking Jala in the back. “It’s time for school.”

            “But today’s the Vote!”

            “You know, it’s funny, how you think you get the right to vote.”

            “And you?”

            “I’ll be sending in a sub to watch you while I’m voting, as that person will have already voted…”

 

Later, in the Schoolroom…

            “While Whenua is voting, today I will be your substitute,” Turaga Vakama said to the Mctoran.

            “Oh, wonderful,” Maku groaned. “Well, at least it’s not that Fikou spider we had last week…”

 

Last Week…

            “AUGH! GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME!” Maku screamed, running away from the Fikou spider. This effort turned out to be worthless, as the spider was bigger than her.

            “I got it,” Boxor Nuparu said, taking the spider’s mask off its back and throwing it across the room. The spider scurried to get the mask, but ultimately, the effort was futile.

            “Oh, Nuparu, I could almost hug you,” Maku thanked him.

            “No problem. Everyone knows no biological robot could live without a mask…although we are plastic, right? And at any rate, aren’t your arms already extended to hug me?”

            “Well, they’ve always been that way. But this time, it’s for the hug…”

 

In the Present…

            “That was bad,” Jala said. “Even I couldn’t—“

            “QUIET, CLASS.” Vakama cleared his throat, and then sat down at Whenua’s desk; reading read the script for Mask of Light.

            “Yeah, I know,” Maku whispered. Before facing forward, she winked at Nuparu, who nodded.

            Why does everyone hate me? Jala thought.

 

In a Dark Closet…

            “So who did you vote for, old snot?” Pohatu Nuva asked.

            “Obviously, the brother of yours truly,” Pohatu Mata retorted.

            “Well, I voted for Tahnok-Kal.”

            “Excuse me?”

            “Oh, you haven’t heard? Onua Nuva passed by while you were talking your Feet Additions off. He said ‘Hey, the new sets came in today. They’re quite a crazy bunch. Watch out for them.’”

            “And?”

            “He also said he was happy that he wasn’t LIVING IN A CAVE when they came. In the name of the Great Beings, please don’t let that be a thing in this comedy.”

            “Well, I saw that coming,” Pohatu Mata said. “A load of well-placed insults.”

            “Believe it or not, I only insulted you once there.”

            “Well, that’s a new record.”

            *CRACK*

            “What’s that?” Pohatu Nuva queried.

            “Impossible,” Pohatu Mata mused, ignoring his future self. “This house was only built three years ago. How is that…ofrick.”

            *CR—CR—CRUMBLE*

            The wall (which was the fourth one built in that room) crumbled down, revealing a Pahrak. But, as the figure got closer, the two could see that this Pahrak had a silver headplate instead of a transparent one. They also noticed silver feet, silver hands, and silver Plasma Shields. This wasn’t a Pahrak…it was Pahrak-Kal.”

            “Give me the Toa…” the Kal hissed, looking around and adjusting to the coming light in the room. Upon finding his target, he snagged it and ran back the way he came.

            Minutes later, Pohatu Mata sat up and opened his eyes. The wall that had crumbled revealed the stairs that lead to the Slizers’ Territory. He stood up, and looking at the hallway ahead of him, sped to the Kitchen.

 

In the Kitchen…

            “Thank you,” Turaga Whenua said. “I’d best be getting back to class now. Who knows what Jala is up to?”

            “I can only wonder,” Tahu Nuva said. “Hey Mata, what is that annoying little brat up to sometimes?”

            “Well, one time he struck a match on Whenua’s chair. When you sat down, Whenua…”

            “It was dreadful, Tahu Nuva. They had to order replacement parts for me, something our owner hated doing. Afterwards, he hid Jala in his drawer for several days.”

            “What a bad influence,” Tahu Nuva muttered.

            “Like you’re not one,” Tahu Mata retorted.

            “Anyway, ta-ta, folks.” Once Whenua had staggered out of sight, the two immediately grabbed their respective votes and counted them.          

            The two finished counting the votes, before realizing something was wrong. “Wait a minute…” Tahu Mata said, looking at the counter. A pile of votes sat off to the side mysteriously.

            “I have twelve, Mata. How about you?” Tahu Nuva asked. It was at that moment that he realized the other pile. “Oh, those are spammed votes. Something saying ‘Tahnok-Kal’ was on all of those. Who’s that supposed to be?”

            Tahu Mata stared at the votes, and then a shadow encroaching among the two. His eyes widened in fear, and jumped off the counter as Tahnok-Kal leapt for Tahu Nuva.

 

To Be Continued…

 

New Characters:

Onua Nuva

Gali Nuva

Turaga Vakama

Maku

Boxor Nuparu

Pahrak-Kal

 

A banner for this comedy should be coming up soon. Stay tuned.

 

~LTT~

[rahkshi guurahk]

I can't wait to see kohrahk-kal.

[MT Zehvor]

Didn't even notice this until now...I guess I'm just unobservant.

 

Or maybe I'm one of those old BZPers who just isn't as sharp as he used to be.

 

Good start to a new comedy. The voting sections so far have been pretty funny. 

 

-MT

[Meta Nuva]

Well, it's been a long time. I guess I needed a little break from writing (so absurd...)

 

@MT: Well, voting's over. We move on to a new year, new sets, and...newness overall.

 

Anyway, here's Chapter 3, which I didn't even notice that I hadn't posted until now...

 

Before the Madness: Arrivals

 

Chapter 3: Enemies

 

It has been an entire year since the Nuva were kidnapped. The Mata have remained in control during this time, but have finally mustered up the courage to seek out the Nuva…

 

Winter 2004 (Part 1)

            “Attention, fellow sets.” Tahu Mata looked at the gathered sets before him. The inbuilt Toa Metru lay in their canisters behind the group. “I have come to a decision: the Metru will be built.”

            A gasp arose from the crowd, but the Mata reassured the poor soul. “Tahu Mata looked over our votes, and decided with them in mind,” Onua Mata announced.

            “Really?” Jala muttered, looking out from the crowd. “Because I said no.”

            “He didn’t say he’d taken all of our votes into consideration,” Jaller said, gliding down on his Gukko. “Why would he take yours?”

            “Come on. I didn’t vote you in either,” Jala said. “But of course, no one cared.”

            “Please, Jala,” Maku said. “Don’t make a fool of yourself like you do every single day.”

            “Oh…well…I…” Jala sank under a table, and Tahu Mata cleared his throat.

            “Thank you, Maku. Anyway, after the invasion of the Bohrok-Kal and the clashes with the Rahkshi, we have lost quite a few members of our number.”

            “And by quite a few, folks, he means an astounding thirteen.”

            “Unfortunately, I must confirm Pohatu Mata’s…addition to my speech. Both the Nuva and the Turaga…within months of each other.”

            “However,” Lewa Mata began, “we have traced the cause of this…mishap. The perpetrator of this thing is none other than Makuta.”

 

Later On, in the Foyer…

            “No, Matau. That is the dumbest idea ever.”

            “And why must you say that, Nuju? If I believe I can fly, then I can.”

            “Oh, guys,” Nokama Metru muttered, looking up from the bottom of the stairs. “Why on earth do you think this will work?”

            “Hey, I’m not cheering him on, Nokama. I’m trying to get him out—ofrick, he’s flying.”

            Matau Metru dove off the edge, and soared back up to meet Nuju Metru glaring at him. “Well, this has put you in an awful, awful position,” the Toa of Air said. “What have you got to say now?”

            “I…I…this is only the beginning, brother,” Nuju Metru said, throwing a fist at his brother through the banisters. Matau Metru hovered to the side, but was caught in the crystal chandelier in the process, unbalancing his focus and sending the startled Toa down to the hardwood floor.

            “Wow…you guys are such cool dudes,” Nokama Metru muttered, walking up to Matau Metru, grabbing his arm and dragging him across the floor. “I wonder if they have Orange Glo…I’ll look.”

 

In the Office…

            Vakama Metru watched Tahu Mata finish the set inventory, and then turned to face the new set. “How many of us are there?” he queried.

            “Well, there would be twenty Toa, six Turaga, twenty-two Matoran, and then the creatures. But apparently, there’s only thirteen Toa and no Turaga here. All Matoran are here, though.”

            “Why? What happened?” Vakama Metru asked the leader.

            “When the Bohrok-Kal arrived, they captured the Toa Nuva and dragged them off into the unknown.” Lewa Mata said.

            “The Nether?”

            “Please let me finish, Vakama Metru. Then the Rahkshi came, dragged off the Turaga, and then Makuta snagged Takanuva, Ussanui and all. Your wave of sets has been the first to come with heroes since the Nuva, and even then, we got the Bohrok Queens.”

            “And you’re supposed to be the leader? How were you not captured?”

            “Because according to Pahrak-Kal, who captured my future self, ‘we’re not worth it’,” Pohatu Mata answered.

            “Indeed. They thought that we were worthless, that we couldn’t put up a fight. Well, it’s not a matter of putting up a fight; it’s a matter of finding them at this point.”

            “And believe me, Vakama, we’ve tried. But the House is huge, and traversing around it is impossible.”

            “Not to mention that now with the destroyed room, the Slizers want more territory. We really should have destroyed them, Tahu Mata.”

            “Now is not the time for that. Our main goal at this point is to get some group to locate the kidnappers, and rush back here without them noticing us.”

            “Well, why don’t you do it, Tahu?” Vakama queried.

            “Oh, please. I have a house to run, and the last time I left it with someone other than me, it didn’t go well.”

            “What do you mean, it didn’t go well? We were all partying!”

            “Partying does not mean that you swing on the chandelier, or drop Jala’s mask in a pie, or turn up the TV so loud it wakes up the neighbors, Lewa.”

            “What neighbors? We live on a fifty-acre property!”

            “Exactly. Anyway, I expect you and your team, Vakama, to start your search by next morning.”

            “That won’t be possible, unfortunately. Matau fell—“

            “Oh, yes. We have SUPER GLUE for that. I’ve already had to fix Jala…several times.”

            “So you’re forcing me to go on this trip?”

            “…well…I wouldn’t say forcing…I’d say for the better of you and the rest of the BIONICLEs, please do fulfill my request.”

 

To Be Continued…

 

New Characters:

Onua Mata

Jaller (w/ Gukko)

Nuju Metru

Matau Metru

Nokama Metru

Vakama Metru

 

How was it?

 

AND...

 

Credit to Gavroche/iBrow! How is it?

 

~LTT~

[MT Zehvor]

“Really?” Jala muttered, looking out from the crowd. “Because I said no.”

            “He didn’t say he’d taken all of our votes into consideration,” Jaller said, gliding down on his Gukko. “Why would he take yours?”

            “Come on. I didn’t vote you in either,” Jala said. “But of course, no one cared.”

            “Please, Jala,” Maku said. “Don’t make a fool of yourself like you do every single day.”

            “Oh…well…I…” Jala sank under a table, and Tahu Mata cleared his throat.

Someone really needs to get the "inner dialogue" thing down.

 

 

 

 

“No, Matau. That is the dumbest idea ever.”

            “And why must you say that, Nuju? If I believe I can fly, then I can.”

I don't seem to remember that being a commonplace belief, but whatever.

 

Good chappy, Link/Tahu/Meta. Tahu's speeches should happen more often.

 

-MT

[Meta Nuva]

1. Hah?

2. Yeah, not commonplace at all .

3. Yeah, you'll see a few more. Actually, they're really just boring speeches where everyone upstages Tahu. It irks him quite a lot.

 

Chapter 4 is here (and I didn't notice I hadn't posted it until now. Huh.)

 

Before the Madness: Arrivals

 

Chapter 4: The Search Party

 

The next day, the Metru have set out on their mission…

 

Winter 2004 (Part 2)

 

            “No, Matau, I am not jumping off the ledge like you,” Nuju Metru said.

            “Why not? We have a full bottle of SUPER GLUE on our wagon. Nothing could possibly go wrong.”

            “That’s what I said before I took an arrow to the knee,” Lhikan chimed in. “But then I put some of that glue on it, and it was good as new.”

            “You see? Even Lhikan agrees with me.”

            “It was a joke,” Lhikan said darkly.

            “Okay. Moving on now.” Matau slowly distanced himself away from Nuju without a word, and continued to walk.

            “And I still don’t know whose side to take,” Nokama Metru muttered.

 

In the Basement…

            “I wonder why they haven’t searched here yet,” Makuta muttered. “I guess they’re just lazy.”

            “They are. If I were leader, I would’ve put a stop to that. But unfortunately…that didn’t help…because I got captured anyway.”

            “Please stop moaning,” Kopaka Nuva muttered. “You think it’ll get us—“

            “Kopaka Nuva has a point. Moaning, groaning, et cetera won’t get you out of my forces. The only hope you guys have of getting out is if a Toa wave finally arrived…”

 

In the Downstairs Hallway…

            “Where is the owner of this House anyway?” Onewa Metru queried.

            “He’s on a business trip,” Whenua Metru answered. “He won’t be back until…August?”

            “So how does he—wait, how do you—“

            “I know everything. Just because I live in a cave doesn’t mean that I don’t hear things from the upper world, you know?”

            “No. You’re supposed to be stupid.”

            “Well, I guess I’m an exception to that, then.”

 

In the Basement…

            “Huh. I actually hear footsteps upstairs,” Makuta muttered. “No matter. Rahkshi, kill.”

            The lead Turahk hissed, before gathering his other nineteen and marching up the stairs. The other Rahkshi followed suit, and Makuta grinned. “You Toa aren’t going anywhere.”

            “I suppose,” Tahu Nuva mused. “Well then, I might as well fight you here.” In a surprising, brave move, the weaponless Toa tackled Makuta to the ground, grabbed his swords, and thrust them into Makuta’s back.

            “ARGH! How could you—“

            “We’re tired of being locked up,” Turaga Whenua said, being untied from the pole he was tied to, and freed.

            “The old Turaga is right. It’s time we proved to you, to Tahu Mata, to everyone—that we Nuva are the most powerful here. And nothing…you included…will get in my way.”

 

Near the Basement Door…

            “Do NOT enter,” Vakama read. “Well, I guess we could take a peek—“

            The door flew open, knocking Vakama into the great room. One hundred and twenty Rahkshi exactly stormed through the doorway, hissing and brandishing their staffs.

            “Well, this sucks,” Lhikan muttered, unsheathing his swords and charging his Kikanalo forward into the horde.

On the Second Floor Foyer…

 

            “What’s that?” Lewa Mata questioned, overhearing the battle below.

            “Well, the only three places I haven’t checked are the Slizers Territory, the Guy’s Quarters and the Basement,” Tahu Mata reported. “But as luck would have it, they’re probably in or near the basement.”

            “Well, should we—“

            But Tahu Mata had already started walking down the stairs. He stopped suddenly and turned to Lewa Mata. “Get everyone. There’s a hundred and twenty Rahkshi down there, and the Metru will die without our help.”

            “But what about leading the House?” Lewa Mata asked.

            “They’re—the Nuva—just as much as a set as we are. What if I was captured? What would you do?”

            “Heck, I’d party—but then, it’d get really boring, so then I’d save you.”

            “Close enough to the answer I was looking for,” Tahu Mata muttered, continuing down the steps.

 

To Be Continued…

 

New Characters:

Lhikan

Makuta

Onewa Metru

Whenua Metru

 

To make up for lost time, Chapter 5 coming tomorrow!

 

~LTT~

[MT Zehvor]

  “I know everything. Just because I live in a cave doesn’t mean that I don’t hear things from the upper world, you know?”

            “No. You’re supposed to be stupid.”

Onewa could use some sensitivity training.

 

 

 

Huh. I actually hear footsteps upstairs,” Makuta muttered. “No matter. Rahkshi, kill.”

            The lead Turahk hissed, before gathering his other nineteen and marching up the stairs. The other Rahkshi followed suit, and Makuta grinned. “You Toa aren’t going anywhere.”

Well, yeah, they are...unless the Rahkshi just plan to tie them up and leave them somewhere. If they die, they go to the afterlife, and if the Rahkshi don't do anything they'll leave...so...

 

“Well, this sucks,” Lhikan muttered, unsheathing his swords and charging his Kikanalo forward into the horde.

WAT

 

LHIKAN DOESN'T HAVE SHEATHES.

 

NURSE!

 

I FOUND A PLOTHOLE!

 

Good chappy, Meta.

 

-MT

[Meta Nuva]

Well, I don't want to say that he took them out of his back or something. That would hurt.

 

And I mean the Nuva.
 

Before the Madness: Arrivals

 

Chapter 5: Cue the Boss Music

 

It all ends here…well, maybe.

 

Winter 2004 (Part 3)

 

“I wonder why we weren’t taken with them,” a Tahnok muttered.

“Please, Toog. No one would take old things like us, even if we were younger. The Bohrok-Kal, on the other hand, are ‘better’ just because they have silver highlights.”

“Touché, Poog.”

 

Author’s Note: The –OOGs lead each Bohrok clan. Toog leads the Tahnok, Poog leads the Pahrak, Noog leads the Nuhvok, et cetera. You’ll get to know them in great detail during this comedy. All other Bohrok, while existing, won’t be mentioned except as a large group.

 

“Well, now’s your chance to show them what you’re worth,” Tahu Mata said. The army stood at the steps to the foyer, ready to start walking down the stairs to what would certainly be chaos.

“All right!” Poog lead his army down the stairs, or in other words…they rolled down the stairs.

The other Bohrok followed suit as Lewa Mata turned to Tahu Mata. “Uh, Tahu. Won’t that scratch up the wood?”

“That is the least of our concerns. And plus, when we’re done with this, I’ve gotten an approval from the guy to put in an addition to the House…and have it renovated.”

“AWESOME. Let’s—“

“War first, party later.” Tahu Mata headed down the stairs, leading the Mata with him.

“Oh, right. I still have to die before we can party.”

 

In the Downstairs Hallway…

 

Until the Addition, the BIONICLEs hung out here to eat and watch TV. So it was allowed for the BIONICLEs to stroll, not battle here…they were lucky that the guy was on a business trip.

 

            “DIE!” Pohatu Mata yelled, kicking Rahkshi with his Feet Additions whenever he got the chance.

            “You know,” Gali Mata said. “We BIONICLEs were not made for fighting.”

            “And how could you say that?!? I’m beating the Kraata out of these Rahkshi!”

            “With your feet, not your hands. The only ones out of all of us that have a sword are Tahu and Kopaka, but all they can do is throw them around.”

            “I do agree that LEGO was challenged back then, but honestly, at least my head isn’t one part.”

            “Huh. You’re right there. Honestly, when TLC starts doing that, consider it the end of BIONICLE.”

            “Don’t even think about that, Gali.”

 

Later On…

            “Get away from me!” Lewa shrieked, waving his axe to hit the Rahkshi. A Turahk, however, simply held the axe and punched Lewa Mata in the gut, sending him under the couch.

            “Ugh, where am I? Oh no…I’ve been replaced *sniffle*.”

            “They can’t still be coming,” Tahu Mata muttered, bopping another Rahkshi on the head. “I’ve defeated about thirty of them…alone.”

            “Excuse me, Rahkshi, we need to get to the Basement,” Kopaka Mata negotiated.

            “What, you think they’re going to—“ But Tahu had spoken too late, for Kopaka too, went under the couch. The two would remain there until the end of the battle. “Never mind. It’s too bad he never saw The Phantom Menace.” With this, he charged into battle.

 

In the Kitchen…

“Well, this couldn’t get much worse,” Lhikan said. Four of the Bohrok-Kal were clinging to the Kikanalo’s legs, and two of them clung to Lhikan’s legs. “Oh, poo,” he said as he was pulled off of his steed and dropped to the floor.

All six of the Bohrok-Kal stood around him. The red one said “We’re hungry. Can you get us food?”

Lhikan winced. “You mean…you don’t want me dead?”

“Of course not!” Tahnok-Kal exclaimed. “You see, the big titan’s been keeping us down the basement with no food and away from our brethren. Give us food.”

“But I only just got here! How can you expect me to know where the food is? Don’t you guys have brains?”

“Of course we do,” Kohrak-Kal said, hitting his eyepiece down. Inside sat a polished metallic white Xa-Kal. “And in fact, you need it more than I do.” The Kal replaced Lhikan’s mask with the brain, and sent the brain-controlled Toa to get them a snack.

 

In the Basement…

            “Yup, he’s totally dead,” Lewa Nuva said. All twelve of the Nuva’s Toa Tools stuck out of Makuta’s back. “Let’s go.”

            “Not…so…fast.” A titan walked out from a storage bin. He was taller than Makuta, and yet looked like a mashup between him and Takanuva. “You didn’t think that he was the true obstacle, did he?”

            “Yup, you’re just an obstacle.” Tahu Mata leapt down for the top of the stairs, landing on Takutanuva and driving his sword into the titan’s shoulder.

            “ARGH! YOU HIT ME, YOU SON OF A—“ Takutanuva spun into a pole, fell over, and ceased all movement. Having leapt off of the titan before, Tahu Mata went over to him.

            “Is he—“

            “Nope. But I certainly handled him better than you did, future self,” Tahu Mata said, smirking.

            “Shut up.” Tahu Nuva sighed. “Well, I suppose you’ve made up for leaving me in the dust last year—“

            “Yeah, I suppose I have. Truce?” Tahu Mata held out his free hand.

            “Hold on.” Tahu Nuva took his weapons out of Makuta, before signaling to his group and the Turaga. “Let’s go, folks.”

            Tahu Nuva took his older self’s hand, and left the basement victoriously. However, new sets would continue to come, and more problems would arrive for the BIONICLEs…

 

To Be Continued in Part 2 of Arrivals…

 

New Characters:

Toog

Poog

Kohrak-Kal

Takutanuva

[MT Zehvor]

“I wonder why we weren’t taken with them,” a Tahnok muttered.

“Please, Toog. No one would take old things like us, even if we were younger. The Bohrok-Kal, on the other hand, are ‘better’ just because they have silver highlights.”

“Touché, Poog.”

Just wait until the Mistika come out...

 

    “Yup, he’s totally dead,” Lewa Nuva said. All twelve of the Nuva’s Toa Tools stuck out of Makuta’s back. “Let’s go.”

            “Not…so…fast.” A titan walked out from a storage bin. He was taller than Makuta, and yet looked like a mashup between him and Takanuva. “You didn’t think that he was the true obstacle, did he?”

            “Yup, you’re just an obstacle.” Tahu Mata leapt down for the top of the stairs, landing on Takutanuva and driving his sword into the titan’s shoulder.

            “ARGH! YOU HIT ME, YOU SON OF A—“ Takutanuva spun into a pole, fell over, and ceased all movement. Having leapt off of the titan before, Tahu Mata went over to him.

            “Is he—“

            “Nope. But I certainly handled him better than you did, future self,” Tahu Mata said, smirking.

            “Shut up.” Tahu Nuva sighed. “Well, I suppose you’ve made up for leaving me in the dust last year—“

            “Yeah, I suppose I have. Truce?” Tahu Mata held out his free hand.

NO. DON'T LEAVE HIM THERE. HE'S GONNA COME BACK TO LIFE.

 

DON'T DO IT.

 

DON'T DO IT.

 

Oh well.

 

Good chappy, Meta. Sorry the review took so long...but better very very late than never.

 

Most of the time.

 

-MT

[Meta Nuva]

1. yeah...Tahu Mistika's coming...sigh...

2. Yeah, he'll be back.

 

Before the Madness: Arrivals

 

Chapter 6: I Can Fix That

 

It has been two years since the Nuva were rescued. All BIONICLEs who held a threat previously were thrown into JAIL under the leadership of Tahu Mata and Tahu Nuva. However, new sets continue to arrive, and with more sets, the BIONICLEs find it necessary to have more room…

 

Winter 2006

            “So let me get this straight. I finish telling you all a story, we sail off to Metru Nui, and Mata Nui starts dying. What, did we cause damage to his brain by moving in?”

 

            “I have no idea, Turaga Vakama,” Tahu Mata said. “Personally, I think BIONICLE should have ended in 2002, when we defeated the Bahrag…”

 

            “Hey! That’s when I came in!” Tahu Nuva objected. “Personally, BIONICLE’s going strong. Well, it will until they decide to strap jets to my feet and throw me in a swamp. But LEGO’s not that stupid.”

 

            “Anyway…” Lewa Mata held up a piece of paper, a bill from LEGO. “As scheduled.”

 

            “Perfect. Bring them in,” Tahu Mata said.

 

            Pohatu Mata, Nuva, Poog, Onewa Metru and Hordika carried the large box into the BIONICLE room. “Here you go,” Pohatu Mata said, dropping the box in the center.

 

            The BIONICLE sets ran to the box, but the Mata acted as police and kept them a safe distance away. Onua Nuva jumped on top of the box, and sliced the tape into two. He and Whenua Hordika slowly opened the box, and then cleared away the bubble wrap and paper.

 

              “Bubble wrap!” Jala yelled, diving for the discarded pop-a-palooza. Jaller glanced at his younger self, then looked back at the box.

 

            “Holy Mata Nui.” Whenua Hordika whispered. “That’s a lot of sets…and they’re all…so creepy.”

 

            Tahu Mata and Nuva pushed the box to its side from the back. Six Piraka sets fell out of the box, along with a golden Piraka, an axe-wielding protector, and a blue-and gold stranger. Several polybags also fell out, along with the Voyatoran. “My goodness,” Tahu Mata said, sighing. “How many more sets are we going to get?”

 

            “Personally, I’d rather the Ignika explode so we stop getting sets,” Tahu Nuva muttered. “After all, we have over 120 sets, not including duplicates.”

 

            “Yeah, we need an expansion,” Lewa Mata said. “There’s just not enough room for all of us in this much space.”   

 

“…well, I suppose we could…” Tahu Mata wondered.

 

            “We are, actually. Right now. Let’s go.” Tahu Nuva dragged Tahu Mata away, out of the Office.

 

            “Let go of me, you son of—“ Tahu Mata jumped away, colliding with a desk leg in the hallway. “Argh…it’s not that easy, you fool.”

 

            “What do you mean, it’s not that easy? Don’t we have millions and billions of dollars?”

 

            “We would, future self, if money grew on trees. You see, we live with a guy who shares the kitchen and great room with us. What if he sees no reason to build another simply for the use of 12 inch toys?”

 

            “Well, wouldn’t he have everything to himself?”

 

            “I suppose he would…but do you see, Nuva? This stuff takes time!”

 

            “Wouldn’t it all be worth it in the end, though?” Tahu Nuva paced in circles around Tahu Mata, and the latter winced.

 

            “What kind of things do you plan to do to this house?” Tahu Mata asked, very softly.

 

            “Oh, nothing bad. Nothing that bad, at least. I wonder why you even allowed me to share the leadership with you…”

 

The Next Day

In the Meeting Room…

 

            “What?!? That’s crazy talk!” Gali Mata exclaimed, jumping out of her seat. “The Nuva can’t be plotting something!”

 

            “And to think that I had someone to share the cave with…” Onua Mata muttered. “For crying out loud, Tahu! Why would they plot to hurt us?”

 

            “Says the guy who was against the Nuva. And hey, that was my idea!” Lewa Mata exclaimed.

 

            “In the name of Mata Nui, I am not against them!” Tahu Mata paused, praying to the Great Beings they understood. “I am simply suspicious, Lewa. But at this point in time, don’t you think we have a bigger thing to tackle here?”

 

            Pohatu Mata thought. “It wouldn’t be that bad. After all, I don’t see the story ending here, right?”

 

            “Yeah, the new Toa haven’t come out yet. And wouldn’t there be a second form of them afterwards?”

 

            “Huh, Onua. Good analogy for someone who lives in a cave.”

 

            “Shut up, old snot. Anyway, then there would have to be more boxed sets, play sets, villain canisters, and small sets. Oh, have we got a long way to go.”

 

            “…that is a perfect analogy  of the previous years…and what’s to come next. Screw this; we don’t even need a vote. We’re getting an expansion.”

 

Outside of the Meeting Room…

            “Yup,” Kopaka Nuva said, listening through the door. “They’re getting an expansion.”

 

            “And thus the first part of my plan is complete,” Tahu Nuva said, snickering.

 

            Kopaka Nuva looked at him. “Wait a minute…do you even have a plan to destroy the Mata?”

 

            Tahu Nuva facepalmed. “Man, why are the fire characters the only smart ones here?”

 

            “Oh, they’re not,” Maku said, walking up to Tahu Nuva. “Jala asked me out, when he knows I’ve been with Nuparu for six months!”

 

            “Are you sure?” Jala called out, flying on Jaller’s Gukko. “I have a special bird for you!”

 

            “Hey! Give it back! That’s mine, you cool dude!” Jaller jumped from the door molding, and tackled the Gukko to the ground.

 

            The two Nuva jumped under a table as the Meeting Room door flew open, and Tahu Mata stormed out to scold Jala. “Okay…maybe not all of us are smart. And I don’t want to kill the Mata…did you ever think that was my intention?”

 

            “No sir.” Kopaka Nuva replied, his hand rising to his head to salute Tahu Nuva.

 

            Tahu Nuva moved the Ice Toa’s hand down in disgust. “No…I simply want the throne. You would share it with me, if you weren’t so pestering—“ Kopaka Nuva’s mouth started to move, but Tahu Nuva clamped his hand over it.

 

“And I plan to send Tahu Mata and his minions into the bottom, where new sets like me roamed…but where he has not. For he was the first. And while I am certainly not the last…he can’t stay in power forever, can he?”

 

            And so it was that the House was expanded upon. The BIONICLEs now had more room to threaten the Slizers with, more power over the guy…and Tahu Nuva had more land to rule over if he was able to claim the throne from the Mata.

 

To Be Continued…

[MT Zehvor]

HOW MANY DIFFERENT NINTENDO CHARACTERS ARE YOU?!

 

 The BIONICLE sets ran to the box, but the Mata acted as police and kept them a safe distance away. Onua Nuva jumped on top of the box, and sliced the tape into two. He and Whenua Hordika slowly opened the box, and then cleared away the bubble wrap and paper.

HA

 

I FOUND THE CONTRADICTION

 

ONUA NUVA CAN'T SLICE THINGS! HE'S GOT A BUNCH OF DRILLS!

 

TAKE THAT!

 

“What do you mean, it’s not that easy? Don’t we have millions and billions of dollars?”

 

            “We would, future self, if money grew on trees. You see, we live with a guy who shares the kitchen and great room with us. What if he sees no reason to build another simply for the use of 12 inch toys?”

 

            “Well, wouldn’t he have everything to himself?”

 

            “I suppose he would…but do you see, Nuva? This stuff takes time!”

 

            “Wouldn’t it all be worth it in the end, though?” Tahu Nuva paced in circles around Tahu Mata, and the latter winced.

 

            “What kind of things do you plan to do to this house?” Tahu Mata asked, very softly.

Oh, you know, a dance floor, a wine cellar, and a ten foot tall golden statue of Bob Saget. That's all.

 

 

Good chappy, Meta/Link/Tahu/WHOEVER YOU ARE

 

Completely off topic, but Pridak's got some experience dealing with early-life-crises. He can probably help.

 

-MT