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Pitch White-review

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#1 Offline Jaysii

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Posted Jan 10 2013 - 11:54 PM

Feel free to review my story "Pitch White" here!


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:m_d:  :e:  :u:  :s:  :e:  :x:  :m:  :a:  :c:  :h:  :i:  :n:  :a:


#2 Offline Tommy_

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Posted Jan 11 2013 - 08:37 AM

Cool, is it going to be really long?

Nice start, certainly makes me curious about the rest of the story!

 

Oh and there's a small problem you should fix: First it says he hears the doorbell, but then he goes to see 'who knocked'.


I turned out to be exactly the grown-up I wanted to be.
A child - but with a credit card.

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Kanohi upside down = epic beard.

We've all tried it, don't deny it.





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