4 replies to this topic

[Indigo Individual]

Alright, here's the Review Topic for my latest epic, Survivor. Comments and constructive criticism are welcome.
Epic is here.

 

- Vorex
 

[Wotsiznaim]

Well the language is pretty basic and-

 

Drat, you have an excuse. Foiled again!

 

Bit 1: I have but one question: How in the name of sanity is that pronounced? I mean, why isn't the main guy called Kyrus and the other guy called Kryogenics or whatever?

Bit 2: Ooh, present tense, how arty

 

So yeah, short intro but pretty nice nonetheless in that it plunges into a dark period of the MU when the universe itself is dying. Look forward to more (which should keep me busy while you finish Eleventh Hour, which you will do, lest my wrath force you).

[Indigo Individual]

Well the language is pretty basic and-

 

Drat, you have an excuse. Foiled again!

 

Bit 1: I have but one question: How in the name of sanity is that pronounced? I mean, why isn't the main guy called Kyrus and the other guy called Kryogenics or whatever?

Bit 2: Ooh, present tense, how arty

 

So yeah, short intro but pretty nice nonetheless in that it plunges into a dark period of the MU when the universe itself is dying. Look forward to more (which should keep me busy while you finish Eleventh Hour, which you will do, lest my wrath force you).

I did my best to make things detailed while still staying in character, I swear.

 

1: Cry-oh-jen. Like cryogenic freezing. I prefer Khryogen as a name, Kyrus is just Cyrus with a K and I find it a tad more boring, even though Khryogen is just Cryogen with a Kh.

2: I like mah present tense. :3

 

The Eleventh Hour takes priority over this, although this will like be finished first due to being shorter. And yeah, I like the idea of taking one of the darkest times in the Matoran Universe that wasn't fully covered.

 

- Vorex

[The Forbidden Entity]

Wow... I am LOVING this!

 

Merely the analysis at the beginning was amazing, but then to follow it up with Rahkshi... Brilliance...

 

And the introduction of the Makuta (I'm assuming Teridax?)... Its hard to put in word how fitting everything feels in this chapter!

 

But the poor narrator... How will he ever get out of this mess?

 

Looking forward to the next chapter!

 

-Scratch

[Indigo Individual]

Wow... I am LOVING this!

 

Merely the analysis at the beginning was amazing, but then to follow it up with Rahkshi... Brilliance...

 

And the introduction of the Makuta (I'm assuming Teridax?)... Its hard to put in word how fitting everything feels in this chapter!

 

But the poor narrator... How will he ever get out of this mess?

 

Looking forward to the next chapter!

 

-Scratch

I'm glad.

 

It's based around the Matoran Civil War/Archives Massacre, and given that it was Teridax who gave the orders to have the armies gathered up, I assumed that the Rahkshi would have been used.

 

Thank you.

 

We'll see, and I'm looking forward to it too.

 

- Vorex

Edited by Simply Vorex, Feb 23 2013 - 03:21 PM.