13 replies to this topic

[Ultimate Sybre]

A review topic for Superiornatural. It's naturally superior! Go check it out!

 

We authors have a little routine when posting chapters. First, I write a chapter, then JiMing, then Axilus, then Flaredrick, and the process repeats.

Edited by Sybre of the Green, Feb 27 2013 - 12:22 PM.

[Axilus Prime]

Now that was awesome. Detailed descriptions, but no getting bogged down in silly metaphors! And you set the scene well.

 

That commercial actually demonstrates an awesome organization. Definitely looking forward to more of this!

 

And that last line was hilarious.

 

Overall, this should work a lot better than the comics did!

[Flaredrick: the Sniper]

See the detail is what I always miss. But now I'll make everything better in this Epic.

 

Love what Jaller did to Hahli.

[Ultimate Sybre]

@Axilus: Thanks. I thought people would complain about a lack of detail. Yes, Superiornatural is the superior organization. The last line was pretty funny, wasn't it? And you can help with that!

@Flaredrick: Go for it!

And which time? The rope or the grin?

Edited by Sybre of the Green, Jan 29 2013 - 11:28 PM.

[Flaredrick: the Sniper]

@Sybre: My part of course. I need to add the detail, that's what the people want.

[Ultimate Sybre]

No, I mean what Jaller did to Hahli. The rope or the grin?

[Flaredrick: the Sniper]

Oh the rope part, that was hilarious.

[Ultimate Sybre]

Finally, I've posted my new chapter! Go on and check it out!

 

JiMing's up next!

Edited by Sybre of the Green, Feb 27 2013 - 12:22 PM.

[Axilus Prime]

I loved the intro with the goat. It was morbidly hilarious!

 

The secretary bit and the boot were just as funny. Clearly this version of Sybre is one of the more eccentric versions. Thankfully he isn't obnoxious to everyone, that bit with the payment was nice.

 

The dog part wasn't really scary at all, but it did add a good touch. The chapter feels much more complete with that there.

 

The first part of the fight was pure epic. I saw all that in my head. The descriptions were clear and perfect. And the way Hemar managed to kill it...awesome. It was a bit too abrupt of an ending, with a hint of anticlimactic, but for a first chapter this was great. The ending was basically like the ending of The Matrix Revolutions, in terms of how well it ended the fight.

 

That was a cool way of cooking the beans.

 

The ending was a mix of hilarious and nice.

 

Overall, this was great. Definitely worth the massive wait.

[Flaredrick: the Sniper]

I liked the comedic relief in there. I liked what you said about my squad. lol.

[Ultimate Sybre]

@Axilus: I knew someone would like it! All of my chapters will have a similar intro. Yeah, the fight scene was a little bad.

@Flare: And I knew you'd love the reference.

Everyone, I'm truly sorry if this chapter was a slight disappointment. I'm new at this and I recklessly dove into the idea. But then again, I guess not everything was meant to he scary. I promise better fight scenes and scarier chapters in the future. It's a guarantee. And I'll redo the Chupacabra chapter in the near future, so everything will get better.

[Axilus Prime]

New chapter is up.

[Flaredrick: the Sniper]

Whoa, that was just creepy with the Revenant (May have spelled it wrong) was controlling your team. And the ending made it even more fearful.

 

When my chapter is finished, you will see references to both teams.

Edited by Flaredrick: Forgotten One, May 01 2013 - 06:58 PM.

[Ultimate Sybre]

That was a pretty crazy fight! Especially with the Revenant turning the tables.

This epic has already lasted longer than the comics!