15 replies to this topic

[ShadowBionics]

A bit of something new for me. I wanted to try something like this a long time back but I didn't know what to do. Given a lot of the mysteries of the Bionicle universe, especially those from the serials, I think there is something to work with now in addition to some of the already existent ones from the main storyline. Here we go... And before you ask, with this particular case the host is covering, there are going to be constant updates, so this first case isn't finished yet, before anyone asks.

 

 

 

Hydraxon: In the eve of one cold night, there had been reports of various deaths that all had something in common. Tonight we investigate one of those deaths, which would be the death of Karzahni, as well as review the life of the deceased. I’m your host, Hydraxon, and I like wearing this trench coat. Join me, and you might be able to help me solve a mystery.

 

*Insert “Bionicle: Unsolved Mysteries” title sequence.*

 

Hydraxon: Sometime in the waking dawn on the newly reformed planet of Spherus Magna, a somewhat dull mission turned into a frightening experience when two lone Toa discovered the deceased body of the insane ruler known only as Karzahni at the bottom of Iron Canyon. From there, his body was brought in and examined by our team of specialists.

 

Tahu, fire expert

Tahu: I can definitely confirm he wasn’t burned. Trust me, I know these things. I like to burn stuff.

 

Gali, healing expert

Gali: Karzahni had seemingly fallen to his doom based on a large part of his injuries. To fall from Iron Canyon would yield great harm to one’s self alone, but it gets worse.

 

Hydraxon: The two witnesses who discovered Karzahni had this to say…

 

Kopaka, strategic specialist and loser in love

Kopaka: Not only did Karzahni fall to his doom, but he landed on this little knife thing that was somehow waiting for him at the bottom of the cliff.

 

Pohatu, weapon specialist, napkin collector, local athlete

Pohatu: Actually, that’s an air sword.

 

Kopaka: … Who carries around this little stub and calls it a sword?

 

Pohatu: >_>

 

Kopaka: Oh… right. But that’s different!

 

Pohatu: Anyway, this is the Air Sword, usually carried by Toa Lesovikk.

 

Hydraxon: Toa Lesovikk, as a fallen Toa, had personal issues with the demented tyrant and sought to personally bring justice with his own hand. However, several months earlier, he was robbed of that chance when Karzahni was arrested by the Order of Mata Nui, taken in by the member known as Botar. Unfortunately, we were unable to get an interview before his untimely demise, as Botar denied privilege for any questioning.

 

Pohatu: Lesovikk just wanted to take matters into his own hands, for what he feels would be retribution for a lost chance being a hero.

 

Kopaka: Personally I think he’s just out of his mind. Even if Karzahni was the way he is, why go out and push him to his demise?

 

Hydraxon: While imprisoned by the Order of Mata Nui, Karzahni sought institution to help aid his shattered mind, which was made more insane by the ruthless Makuta Teridax. We have recreated the scene with these non-paid interns cosplaying as those who were involved.

 

Karzahni’s mind shredding re-enactment

“Karzahni”: I know about you Makuta and now I’m going to instill fear into you. *makes noises, puts hands on box head meant to represent Kanohi Olisi*

 

“Teridax/Maxilos”: You made a big mistake Karzahni. I don’t have nightmares. I give them instead. So take this for your trouble! *he makes noises, holds out his broom and aims it at “Karzahni,” who falls over and starts yells in pain.*

 

End of recreation

 

Hydraxon: It was from there, Lesovikk himself wanted to take matters into his own hands as the tyrant made a hasty escape and tried to show him some pretty pictures with his kanohi mask power. From there, he was taken in by Botar and put into a mental institution. We managed to get a hold of some file footage straight from the Order as documentation of Karzahni’s progress on his mental health. Sessions did not go so well. A warning to some of our more sensitive viewers.

 

Session #1

Therapist: Why do you feel the need to run from conflict?

 

Karzahni: I never run away! I always stand and fight!

 

Therapist: And yet you quit everything else you’ve ever done. You know, you’re only a failure if you never try.

 

[awkward pause]

 

Karzahni: Retreat!

 

Session #7

 

*Karzahni is wrapped in a straight jacket*

 

Karzahni: The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.

 

Session #15

 

Karzahni, still wrapped up: Have the lambs started, Clarisse?

 

Session #22

 

*Karzahni is locked up in a dark room*

 

Karzahni: Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco…

 

Session #28

 

Karzahni: Where’s my rubber ducky?!

 

Session #32

 

*Karzahni is standing on his head*

 

Karzahni: Who turned the world upside down?! I can’t take it anymore!

 

Session #38

 

Karzahni: Is that you, Carly Rae Jepsen?

 

End of footage

 

Hydraxon: It was because of this lack of progress, Karzahni was deemed a lost cause and later sent to the Pit to live out the rest of his imprisonment.

 

Turaga Vakama, wise elderly type figure

Vakama: He wasn’t really good at rebuilding Matoran, either. The other Turaga and I had to fix the ones he had in his realm after they were relocated. One more thing. Makuta actually named a plant after him, which tried to attack me. One more thing. He was meant to be a tale everyone said just to frighten one another. I never thought he actually existed.

 

Tahu

Tahu: His injuries are fake.

 

Gali

Gali: How do you explain that?

 

Hydraxon: Somewhere out there, the murderer is still at large and is evading capture. Some believe he has gone south, changed his name to Vesolikk, and tried to create a new life for himself. He is seven feet tall with orange eyes, and was last seen wearing a Kanohi Faxon and green armor. If you or anyone has seen him or have any information, please call us. Coming up next… a glowing red object in the sky known as the “Red Star.” What secrets are linked with it? Later on, we take a look at a closer encounter with the Zyglak kind. 

Edited by ShadowBionics, Feb 11 2013 - 12:44 AM.

[Disciple]

This is funny stuff. I liked the humorous little glimpses you gave of Karzahni's therapy sessions. Karzahni seems crazier than ever when he's making pop culture references. And did you mean for Turaga Vakama to sound a bit like Uncle from Jackie Chan Adventures? 'Cause either way, that is a hilarious thought.

 

"Tahu! One more thing!"

 

Looking forward to reading what you have in mind for the Red Star.

[ShadowBionics]

This is funny stuff. I liked the humorous little glimpses you gave of Karzahni's therapy sessions. Karzahni seems crazier than ever when he's making pop culture references. And did you mean for Turaga Vakama to sound a bit like Uncle from Jackie Chan Adventures? 'Cause either way, that is a hilarious thought.

 

 

"Tahu! One more thing!"

 

 

Looking forward to reading what you have in mind for the Red Star.

 

I'm glad you like it. Karzahni is one of my favorite characters to write about, so I couldn't resist having glimpses into his sessions. Also, yes, Turaga Vakama is meant to be like Uncle from Jackie Chan Adventures. Glad to talk to someone who also remembers that show. The Red Star case is going to be very odd yet interesting. I have some ideas and I just need to figure out how to put them together, considering so many beings have done things in relation to the Red Star.

 

well, this is certainly a humorous story if I read correctly, it would be done as a TV series. love those descriptions of Kopaka and Pohatu . napkin fetcher....XD

Yeah, this would be more like a TV series sort of story. Each "chapter" is going to be treated like its own episode segment, but there will be times when Hydraxon will go back and forth between cases whenever any "updates" come in. So like the Karzahni case isn't done just yet, and he will be going back to it.

[Dude w/ a Hat]

Dude, this is genius. Keep up thy good work!

[ShadowBionics]

Episode 2 of Unsolved Mysteries up and ready now...

 

 

 

Hydraxon: Many reports have flooded in about sightings of an object known only as the “Red Star,” as well as reports of strange occurrences. Tonight we look into these sightings and determine just what the “Red Star” is. I’m you host, Hydraxon, and I like collecting stuff. Join me, and you might be able to help me solve a mystery.

 

*Insert “Bionicle: Unsolved Mysteries” title sequence.*

 

Hydraxon: In the early times of the island of Mata Nui, there were sightings of a glowing red object in the sky.

 

Kapura, sad strange little man

Kapura: So it’s like right there in the sky, see? And it’s just right there! It’s there! I’ve seen it! I’ve seen it so many times!

 

Nixie, underrated character no one remembers

Nixie: I’ve done lots of research on this thing… but then I realize all my books were outdated. I’ve got to go book shopping more.

 

Turaga Matau, crazy old coot who’s supposed to be wise about stuff

Matau: It reminds me of the time I failed my astronomy test. I should’ve been nicer to that big-brain Nuju.

 

Kopeke, current chronicler and possibly eventual Toa

Kopeke: …

 

Hydraxon: Many inhabitants of the former island of Mata Nui reported these strange sightings time and time again, only for a majority of them to be either ignored of disproved as false.

 

Turaga Vakama, wise elderly type figure

Vakama: My friend Nuju has speculated time and time again about the existence of strange things like this. One more thing. I have a secret fear this Red Star might house unimaginable things not meant for us to know.

 

Hydraxon: It wasn’t until many years later and after the Toa Mata first arrived that anyone would start to learn anything else about the Red Star. When it started getting closer to when the Great Spirit would be awakened, it was Toa Gali herself who made this discovery.

 

Gali, healing expert, apparent astrologist

Gali: I was looking at the Red Star through the telescope, you see, and then… that’s when I could have sworn I saw beings living in the Red Star itself!

 

Tahu, fire expert, skepticism expert

Tahu: It’s totally fake.

 

Gali: What? How you do explain what I saw in the telescope then?!

 

Tahu: It was probably some prank the Matoran were playing on us.

 

Gali: Have you been talking to Turaga Vakama again?

 

Tahu: What does it matter?

 

Turaga Vakama

Vakama: One more thing… sometimes the Great Spirit works in mysterious ways… like when he played a really mean prank with the stars to make it look like my friends and I were never meant to be Toa. Never underestimate the Great Spirit!

 

Nixie

Nixie, face palm: I knew I should have bought the seventh edition, not the sixth. Mata Nui, I am so far behind on my studies! What else could I not be aware about?!

 

*Hydraxon is somewhat unsure about how to react to Nixie*

Hydraxon, somewhat confused: But is it really all an elaborate hoax? Another report comes in from the Toa Mahri, who share their experiences with the mysterious Red Star.

 

Jaller, bossy guy and self-proclaimed hero

Jaller: A few of my friends and I went off to Voya Nui to find the Toa Nuva. You know, because the Turaga were being all annoying and “One more thing!” about stuff. When we got there, we got shot by lightning that came from the Red Star! And it made us into Toa! And it was awesome!

 

Hewkii, local athlete and part-time jazz musician

Hewkii: I looked like lightning hit me. I mean, who ever heard of a Toa of Stone who wasn’t at least some shade of brown?

 

Jaller: Awesome!

 

Hydraxon: Upon the recreation of Spherus Magna, new light was shed onto this mystery by some of the helpful Agori.

 

Tarduk, Indiana Jones idolizer

Tarduk: I went on this incredible journey to find out about the Red Star. You know, ‘cause I can see it dimly in the sky? I found this dusty old map outside of the arena and it looked like something having to do with that Red Star thing. Like it was some sort of… factory. Whoa. I never knew stars were made in factories. It like, blew my mind. It also made me question my own existence? Are like, we all made in factories? What does it mean to be alive? And can we all just get along?

 

Crotesius, vehicle rider and guy with an impossible name to spell

Crotesius: Tarduk dragged me and another Agori named Kirbold along his field trip. It didn’t really go all that well. First off, we got attacked by Iron wolves. Not fun at all. Granted, we met some crazy wizard who held them off, but still, you know? After we met some guys who could control the elements, I got outta there as fast as I could, no questions asked.

 

Kirbold, not to be confused with the guys who ride the Kaxium

Kirbold: Crotesius was out of there faster than you could shout his name… which is saying something. After we met these weird elemental guys, we eventually got lost in this weird place and then ended up back to where we started… meaning our whole adventure was completely pointless.

 

Hydraxon: Is there more to the Red Star than meets the eye? Many reports have been made and a lot of have been dismissed due to lack of evidence, and yet there are those who still believe. Could this star be a supernatural phenomenon or an elaborate hoax? If you or anyone may have information, please call us. Coming up next, we look at an encounter with some bizarre creatures known as Zyglak. Then the disappearance of a wicked Southern Belle shrouded in mystery. Later, an update on the murder of Karzahni, as well as another murder and a disappearance linked to it. That’s all coming up next.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jaller: Awesome!

Edited by ShadowBionics, Feb 16 2013 - 09:27 PM.

[Dude w/ a Hat]

Another hilarious chapter. The character descriptions multiply your Funny Index by 3. Jolly Good Job!

[Disciple]

Good laughs from the second chapter. Any particular reason Jaller kept saying "Awesome!" so much?

 

And I, for one, do remember Nixie! I like how you made her such a book nerd.

 

Hope chapter three comes out soon.

[ShadowBionics]

Glad you liked all liked the chapter. No particular reason why Jaller kept saying "Awesome!" every so often, I just thought it'd be random and funny. I'm glad someone else remembers Nixie. For random reasons when I was younger, I paired her with Takua... I was younger, don't look at me. Look at the younger me! It's him you want!

 

Anyway, here is the third chapter, probably one of the lengthiest ones as of now since there was so much stuff I wanted to cover. Well, here you go.

 

 

 

Hydraxon: Many know about the objects known as Krana, but what really goes into the process of their creation? More so, what happens when this process goes terribly wrong? Tonight, we look at some of these mistakes known only as “Zyglak.” I’m your host Hydraxon, and I enjoy eating pizza in my spare time. Join me, and you might be able to help me solve a mystery.

 

*insert “Bionicle: Unsolved Mysteries” title sequence.*

 

Hydraxon: Over a millennia has passed since the Great Beings mysteriously vanished and left us with their wisdom. While that is a story for another day, we look into one of the mysteries they left behind for us. As part of a massive experiment, the Great Beings used some raw material and exposed it to Energized Protodermis. Upon doing so, the material would become the leech-like creatures known only as Krana. However, things didn’t always go right, and at times the experiment resulted in the creation of savage beings known as Zyglak.

 

Toa Orde, Guy with a lot of issues

Orde: Yeah, so it was up to me to go and calm ‘em down, right? See, thing is I don’t do no babysitting for a bunch of pointy-faced freaks. I got a real bad temper, you see? So I don’t like doing stuff like that. It gets on my nerves. And apparently that’s why all Toa of Psionics are all female… I don’t get that. Man, I’m tired of being an outcast!

 

Hydraxon: Because of the nature or their origin, the Zyglak grew to hate all of Matoran kind, as well as the Great Beings and anything associated with them.

 

Velika, whimsical rhyming genius/nutjob

Velika: Listen here to the words I say. Upon seeing the Zyglak, you must stay away. In strange ways, they commune… all about how to bring us our doom! Beware!

 

Hydraxon: Around the time the first team of Toa was instated, disaster struck. Upon going about a routine mission, the team met a wandering tribe of Zyglak, who went out to slaughter the Toa… all except for one Toa Lesovikk.

 

Sarda, Toa Lesovikk fanboy

Sarda: It wasn’t his fault the Zyglak killed them! He just hesitated and didn’t know what to do. Please, he’s a good person inside. He’s just got issues!

 

Hydraxon: It was this incident that would lead to Lesovikk’s downfall and spiral to villainous deeds and his questioning of the the title of “Toa.” This wouldn’t be the last time anyone would hear of the Zyglak. Many years later, after the Great Cataclysm, another tribe of Zyglak would be encountered by none other than the Toa Inika, shortly before their transformations into the Toa Mahri. We managed to get interviews with these Toa, including an interview with Toa Matoro before his untimely passing.

 

Jaller, bossy guy and self-proclaimed hero

Jaller: We needed to go down through this place called “The Cord” beneath Voya Nui. You know, because Matoro lost the Mask of Life.

 

Matoro, reluctant hero

Matoro: Jaller blames me for losing the Mask of Life, but it wasn’t my fault. The mask chose me to be its destined wearer, and it just wasn’t time or place for me to use it yet. So we went through the Cord to go beneath the waters of Voya Nui.

 

Hahli, not Lesovikk

Hahli: Matoro’s been through a lot. I worry about him, you know. Don’t tell Jaller I said that. Anyway, while that was all going on, we ran into Vezon.

 

Kongu, meticulous

Kongu: What was Vezon doing there, anyway? Wasn’t he stop-frozen in time or something?

 

Hewkii, athlete and part-time jazz musician

Hewkii: Vezon came around and he just flat out challenges us to a rematch. Too bad he was kind of powerless without the Mask of Life on him.

 

Nuparu, an inventor

Nuparu: He slammed Matoro’s head into a wall! It got intense!

 

Vezon, no description needed

Vezon: I wasn’t too happy when I found out the mask wanted to abandon me for Matoro. No… just didn’t settle with me. So after I got to my feet, I said good-bye to my friend Kardas after we agreed we had separate paths to follow. So to make my point, I slammed Matoro into a wall. I mean, I needed to get their attention somehow, right?

 

Jaller: But while that was happening, we ran into some Zyglak. And it wasn’t awesome!

 

Hahli: They told us a little bit about themselves. They weren’t happy to see us.

 

Nuparu: So we held them off as best as we could.

 

Hewkii: Eventually, we drove them off. I bet they didn’t like that too much.

 

Kongu: And then as if it wasn’t weird enough, they Zyglak just snatch-grab Vezon and run off!

 

Matoro: Personally, I was okay with seeing Vezon go. My head still hurts from when he hurt me… They took him away and ran and we never saw them again… until we went back up and saw the Piraka killed them all.

 

Vezon: At first, I was scared out of my mind! I didn’t know what they were going to do! Turns out they just really liked me and wanted me around. They even put me into a hot tub and made me their king! At least… until I found out it was a pot. And they were just really hungry. They all left to get some ingredients and never came back. I didn’t think  I was that bad company.

 

Hydraxon: At a later date, Vezon himself was recruited into a rag-tag team of misfits who went on a mission to find and free Makuta Miserix. During this mission the rogue Makuta Spiriah took it on himself to cause a mutiny and enlisted the help of the Zyglak.

 

Vezon: Take it from me… don’t make deals with Zyglak. They aren’t good. When Mr. “I think I’m so handsome” tried to cause a mutiny, it wasn’t a happy time for me. Oh, and I guess it wasn’t for everyone else either. I think Roodaka was the most angry.

 

Hydraxon: Numerous other encounters have been noted within the Pit. However, upon the evacuation to Spherus Magna, there have been no such sightings of the Zyglak. Are they so bitter, they would rather remain away from Matoran society, or are they still out there in places we cannot find them? If you or anyone you know has any information, please contact us. Coming up next, we take a look at the life and times of a Toa of Water who went wrong, as well as her disappearance. Then, an update on the murder of Karzahni, as well as a second murder and the mysterious disappearance of two witnesses. All this and more coming up next.

Edited by ShadowBionics, Feb 22 2013 - 12:05 AM.

[Disciple]

I liked how Chapter Three explored some of the unused ideas from the Mahri Nui story arc. Always wanted to see that scene where Vezon slams Matoro's head into the wall (I even made this animation back in 2007 ). The lines you gave Vezon are spot-on. The portrayal of Sarda as a Lesovikk fanboy made me laugh too.

 

Do I sense a chapter on Tuyet coming up? This viewer is staying tuned.

[Takua Dragonstar7]

This is really funny. I mean: Vezon, no description needed. I don't even want to find out what it is.

[ShadowBionics]

I liked how Chapter Three explored some of the unused ideas from the Mahri Nui story arc. Always wanted to see that scene where Vezon slams Matoro's head into the wall (I even made this animation back in 2007 ). The lines you gave Vezon are spot-on. The portrayal of Sarda as a Lesovikk fanboy made me laugh too.

 

Do I sense a chapter on Tuyet coming up? This viewer is staying tuned.

A lot of these still leave me puzzled to this day. Granted, I know we got information from Greg and the encyclopedia I never bought, ,but still. I wish we did get a BL#7: Invasion to go into it better. 

I've been practicing my portrayal of Vezon for a long time, and even studying movies and looking through the old Bionicle story material for inspiration. 

And yes, there will be one of two Tuyet chapters coming up after I finish replying.

 

This is really funny. I mean: Vezon, no description needed. I don't even want to find out what it is.

Well, what can you say about Vezon? He's got his own mode of thinking and his own style. Words can't really describe that, so I didn't use words.

 

 

Here is episode 4. Like the Karzahni case, this one is going to be more than one episode, so there will be another one sometime down the line. Here we go.

 

 

Hydraxon: It was a dark time in the city of Metru Nui when a string of murders were reported and investigated by Toa Lhikan and Toa Nidhiki. Tonight, we take a look at the perpetrator of this string of murders, Toa Tuyet. I’m your host Hydraxon, and I dislike math. Join me, and you might be able to help me solve a mystery.

 

*insert “Bionicle: Unsolved Mysteries” title sequence.*

 

Hydraxon: It all began on the eve of a summer night, when Toa Lhikan and a group of Matoran gathered around the body of the deceased… We were lucky to get interviews with both Lhikan and Nidhiki before their untimely deaths at the hands of an obese madman.

 

Lhikan, voted world’s best hero ever

Lhikan: There was no doubt something was up, but I just couldn’t understand it. There were safeguards to prevent this kind of thing, you know? I didn’t want to think it was murder, but there was no other explanation. Nidhiki, as “charming” as he is, didn’t hold back when he told me his thoughts.

 

Nidhiki, hates creepy crawlies

Nidhiki: “It’s murder, Lhikan. Deal with it.” That’s what I told him when he was there all panicking and talking with Turaga Dume about it. Frankly, Turaga Dume isn’t that much help. I mean, have you seen him lately?

 

Dume, hasn’t been institutionalized

Dume: I wasn’t paying attention at the time because I needed to worry about something more important: Zombies. I know this is an explosive issue, but you all need to understand that the heat of the moon causes the dead to rise… or is it the Red Star? Or is it the bagel?

 

Nidhiki: Anyways, as we kept looking, some of those annoying Vahki with their stupid-looking heads veered our way and I told them to back off. They’re just cold, unloving machines anyway. Like they know what it’s like to be alive? I don’t think so.

 

Lhikan: As I looked closer, I noticed there was some writing on a tablet, and it said “Toa Tuyet.”  So I went and questioned her.

 

Hydraxon: Upon questioning, Toa Tuyet denied knowing any Ta-Matoran, let alone having interaction with them. She claimed to have been in Ga-Metru and not having left for days.

 

Toa Nokama, brainy bookworm

Nokama: Tuyet helped me out with some stuff in the lab. I couldn’t get much help, and Vhisola was too busy staring at me all weird to really help me. It was… disturbing.

 

Vhisola, Nokama worshipper

Vhisola: She is my hero! Is it my problem that I worship the ground she walks on?? I even have a life-sized poster of her, which is my most prized possession. None of you can have it! None of you! *maniacal laughter*

 

Lhikan: Since the other Toa were gone, it was just us three there left to protect the city. I won’t lie, but I was scared out of my wits.

 

Nidhiki: So that’s when I figured it was up to me to knock some sense into him. Not literally, of course, or else he’d have gotten mad at me or whatever. I reminded him about the tablet…

 

Hydraxon: It wasn’t long before another murder took place, which was reported by Kongu after he stumbled on a deceased Le-Matoran who fell to his demise. There was another notable clue with him: another stone tablet bearing the name “Toa Tuyet.”

 

Lhikan: We split up to go after Tuyet. I personally went to Ga-Metru to see her home quarters, and there she was, waiting for me.

 

Hydraxon: Security camera in the paranoid Tuyet’s home caught sight of some of the confrontation. However, upon intensifying, the cameras were knocked offline.

 

Tuyet’s Security Camera 12

 

Tuyet (Southern Accent): I’ve been waitin’ for you, sugar.

 

Lhikan: There's been another death. Tuyet, I know you don't like Nidhiki, so I told him to go fly a kite. You and I have been friends for thousands of years. We've traveled together, fought together, worked at Burger King together, and once almost died together. If you know something about what's going on, you have to tell me.

 

Tuyet: Oh, whatever do you mean, Lhikan? If I did know something, then I’d be puttin’ you in danger, sugar. And could you imagine what’d happen to ‘lil old me?

 

End of tape

 

Hydraxon: Unfortunately, Tuyet cut the recording before anything else could transpire. However, thanks to the testimony of the Toa, we have been able to make connections.

 

Lhikan: After I let my guard down and told Tuyet one of my innermost personal secrets, Tuyet told me about something called the Nui Stone the Dark Hunters were after.

 

Nidhiki: I knocked some heads with them before Lhikan arrived. It was kind of fun.

 

Lhikan: After I got there, I spoke with Nidhiki, and yet I felt like we weren’t getting anywhere. None of those numbskulls seemed to know anything either. That’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks. And trust me, I know what it feels like.

 

Nidhiki: Is he talking about the time I dropped a ton of bricks on him for April Fools’ day? Well, it doesn’t matter. After we got rid of them, we went back, only to find yet another murder took place only a few minutes prior. Lhikan, being the goody-two-shoes he is, almost argued the logic with it, but I made him hush up. Personally, I thought Miss Southern Belle over there was hiding something, and I was determined to figure out what it was.

 

Hydraxon: Upon the capturing of the Dark Hunters, Lhikan and Tuyet went back into her dwelling, where Lhikan exposed her secret of the Nui Stone. Based on the testimony of the Toa, our team of unpaid interns have re-enacted the conflict.

 

Conflict with Tuyet Re-enactment

 

“Tuyet” (bad Southern accent): Oh, sugar, the countdown is over! Now we can go live happily ever after together, just you and me!

 

“Lhikan”: I do not love you, Tuyet, for I know your secret! *he reaches behind a curtain and pulls out a red marble.*

 

“Tuyet”: Dearest, whatever might that be?

 

“Lhikan”: This is the Nui Stone, is it not?

 

“Tuyet”: Okay, you caught me! I got the Nui Stone, sugar, and I’m going to rule the world.

 

“Lhikan”: I can’t let you do that, Tuyet!

 

*Suddenly, the door opens and out comes “Nidhiki” all happy and cheerful.*

 

“Nidhiki”: Honey, I’m home. *Laughs like Desi Arnaz*

 

*Laugh track/ applause track*

 

*While “Tuyet” is distracted, “Lhikan” takes the marble and steps on it, crushing it.*

 

“Lhikan”: You’re under arrest, Tuyet.

 

“Tuyet”: But I love you, Lhikan.

 

“Lhikan”: I never loved you. I like the more loyal, bookish type. Like Naho.

 

End of Re-enactment

 

Hydraxon: After the conflict, the friendship of Lhikan and Nidhiki grew somewhat sour, as Nidhiki was more than upset over the destruction of the Nui Stone. That night, Tuyet was confined in the Coliseum, but she would not remain there for long. There were reports of a large creature breaking in like a jolly prowler, taking Tuyet and leaving gifts, like some boxes of CDs by some blonde singer woman I am unfamiliar with.

 

Botar, never does interviews except for this one time

Botar: My job is my life. Without my job, I would have no life. Without my life, I would have no job. It was my duty to take the wrong-doer into custody and drop her off at the Pit to serve out her sentence. No questions asked. To keep others from catching on, I left some CDs by someone who sounds a lot like Tuyet. Her name is something like Britney Spears. They were gifts from my cousin who’s had his eye on my job for the last 14,000 years. I didn’t want them, so I figured it would be retribution for doing my job.

 

Hydraxon: But was this the last of Toa Tuyet, or would she return in some shape or form to haunt everyone who wronged her? Later on, it was reported that she attempted to escape from the Pit when the Great Cataclysm took place... Her current status is unknown. Toa Tuyet is seven feet tall with blue armor. She was last seen sporting a barbed broadsword and a mask of intangibility. If you have seen her or have any information on her, please contact us. Coming up next, an update on the murder of Karzahni, as well as two linked accounts of disappearances and a second murder. Later, we look into the downfall of Makuta Miserix. All this and more coming up next.

Edited by ShadowBionics, Mar 11 2013 - 12:48 AM.

[Dude w/ a Hat]

 I even have a life-sized poster of her, which is my most prized possession. None of you can have it! None of you! *maniacal laughter*

Need I say anything? This is comedy at it's finest. *takes out notebook and pencil*

[Disciple]

You and I have been friends for thousands of years. We've traveled together, fought together, worked at Burger King together, and once almost died together.

 

Best. Line.

 

I also like that Lhikan was voted "world's best hero, ever." To me, he is still the most legendary Toa, so I liked that bit. You gave Nidhiki a pretty interesting sense of humor too. Toa of Air are usually pranksters, and I like the idea of him messing with Lhikan. The part with the bricks made me think of Looney Tunes, BIONICLE-style. Tuyet's Southern drawl was a nice touch, and I liked the reference to Naho. By the way, Lhikan and I apparently share the same taste in women.

 

Ending it with Botar's speech about Britney Spears was a terrifically random way to wrap up episode four. I'm curious to see what the update on Karzahni will be like, since the serials didn't get that far.

 

Thanks for writing these.

[ShadowBionics]

That part with the poster was one of my favorite parts. I remember reading somewhere Vhisola actually had a poster of Nokama. O_O I just played with that.

 

Well, Disciple, glad to hear you liked it. I thought it'd be fun to show a lighter side of Nidhiki. And I'm kind of the same way. Ironically, one of my Bionicle fan characters is a shy, reserved librarian girl. She (her name is Elitha), Nixie, and Naho could be study friends. Well, you won't have to wait for the update any longer. Although, Karzahni won't really be the main focus of the episode, ironically. He's still mentioned in there, but... you know what, let's just get on with the new episode. Sorry for the wait.

 

 

 

Hydraxon: In the eve of one cold night, there had been reports of various deaths that all had something in common. Tonight we investigate those deaths and try to uncover these mysterious motivations behind them. I’m your host, Hydraxon, and I am not dead. Join me, and you might be able to help me solve a mystery.

 

*insert “Bionicle: Unsolved Mysteries” title sequence.*

 

Hydraxon: The following information was provided to us by an anonymous tip. Upon the murder of Karzahni, another murder had been reported. It had been the murder of the original ruler of the Matoran Universe, the insanely hideous Tren Krom.

 

Mutran, insane pointy-headed lab geek

Mutran: The mere sight of him drove me insane. There was nothing I could do.

 

Kopaka, strategic specialist and loser in love

Kopaka: He was literally shattered into pieces when Pohatu and I found him. The murderer left practically nothing. I don’t even know if it was Lesovikk at this point anymore.

 

Pohatu, weapon specialist, napkin collector, local athlete

Pohatu: If it was Lesovikk, he would have needed something with a lot of fire power to not only one-shot kill Tren Krom, but shatter him into absolutely nothing.

 

Kopaka: But before we even found the remains, something hit us. It was like a mental picture. Or like a scream…

 

Pohatu: It still doesn’t make sense to me, no matter how much I look at it. I mean, it was this… big red thing.

 

Hydraxon: Unfortunately, we were unable to speak any further with our two correspondents, as no sooner did they finish their interview, they were spirited away by some unknown being who looked like a walking garbage heap. There are several eyewitness sketches on what this creature looks like.

 

*The screen then cuts to pictures of Trinuma, then Spiriah, then THE MIGHTY TUMA!!!, and then Christopher Walken.*

 

Hydraxon: The question is now a matter of who is behind the kidnapping, and what are their motives for doing so? It has also now become questionable as to who could be the real murderer who took down Karzahni and Tren Krom, as well as who are the next possible victims?

 

Toa Helryx, Order of Mata Nui Leader

Helryx: If you ask me, the murderer is obviously a deviant. They are most likely trying to either prove some warped point, or they point blank want to get rid of any powerful being who could stand in their way of domination and rule. That’s just me. I could be wrong.

 

Makuta Miserix, last survivor of Makuta race and total nutjob

Miserix: You wanna know how I got to look like this? Well, you see, I worked as a cashier at this little shop on the corner in my younger years. My boss always told me if I kept my head up, I might be someone someday. Well, one afternoon, this cute young girl walked in. She told me I had a great smile. She and I got to know each other for a little bit. But then… this insane robber guy walks in. He scares her, and I didn’t like that. So I tell him off, but know what he does? He orders me to give him all the money and he throws he into the back of the store. That… didn’t settle well with me. So I just…

 

*he puts his hands on his head, and moves it up to symbolize his increase in height. He then makes a jaw with his hands to symbolize his transformation into a giant reptile.*

 

Miserix: So then I hate him! And then I ate my boss because he came in and tried to hit me with a shovel. I looked over to the girl… she’s scared to death of me! She runs out, screaming and telling me to stay away from her! And now… now I’m always smiling.

 

Vezon, no description needed

Vezon: Really? Well, it’s about time someone realized how great I am! I mean, it only took you guys long enough. Wow, so you consider me a powerful being. You know, no one really cared about who I was until I put on a mask. And then they didn’t care about me until I put on another mask. Well, better late than never, I guess. Whoever this murderer guy is, I wanna meet him. I’ll be sure to give him a nice, big hug when I do!

 

Axonn, not Hydraxon’s Brother

Axonn, foreign accent: I say bring on the little baby man! I will personally take him down myself! And justice!

 

Brutaka, should be on probation

Brutaka: Sparklies!!! The Sparklies are everywhere! Mata Nui is just a giant robot! Makuta’s real name is Teridax!

 

Toa Tuyet? Wait, why isn’t she dead?

Tuyet: Hey, y’all. It’s mighty sweet of you to say I’m a powerful being. Lhikan and Nidhiki never saw it that way. I’m kinda sad to hear they’re both dead. I really did want to see them again. That way I could get back at Lhikan for tearin’ out my heart! How dare he treat me after I gave him the best years of my life! But that’s all done and gone. Well, whoever this bandit is, I only hope he knows who he’s messin’ with. ‘Cause this time, I ain’t messin’ around.

 

Hydraxon: After talking with possible candidates for victims, we asked around about anyone who might have known about Karzahni. We spoke to Makuta Mutran before his untimely demise and have preserved part of his interview when he contacted us about reporting something strange.

 

Mutran

Mutran: I saw the universe. I discovered the secrets. Our fearless leader was nothing compared to this guy. He probed my mind. He shared his wisdom with me. And then he threw me into a dumpster. So I told Teridax exactly what I learned. I never saw Tren Krom again.

 

Gali, healing expert

Gali: I have only heard whispers and rumors about him, but I’ve never actually seen him. You know, we sent Lewa out to find him, but he has yet to actually return to us… I personally thought he was a mysterious mythological creature wrapped in an enigma.

 

Tahu, fire expert

Tahu: A what?

 

Gali: How about “it’s fake?”

 

Turaga Matau, crazy old coot who’s supposed to be wise about stuff

Turaga Matau: It reminds me of the time I was interviewed on Unsolved Mysteries

 

Turaga Vakam, wise elderly figure type

Turaga Vakama: Contrary to popular belief, Tren Krom is in fact real. One more thing. The mere sight of him will drive you insane beyond repair. So I highly advise to never look at him directly, unless you wish to throw away your mind and sanity.

 

Velika, whimsical rhyming genius/nutjob

Velika: I didn’t kill them! I, uh… I mean… hey, kids, who wants to follow me to the creepy statue?

 

Hydraxon: What could this red object be in the vision shared by Pohatu and Kopaka? Who or what is this mysterious being who spirited them away? Are we alone in the universe? Who is the real killer of Karzahni and Tren Krom? So many questions with answers we know so little about. If you or anyone has anything to report, please contact us. Coming up next, the tragic downfall of Makuta Miserix. How did it happen and who was in the coup that brought him down? Later, the return of a fugitive Toa thought to have been long gone. All that and more coming up next.

 

 

[Toa of Gallifrey]

Very awesome comedy! Every single line is memorable. I especially loved the bit with Vhisola. It's a shame Vhisola's obsession for Nokama was never touched after the Metru animations.