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[Toa Levacius Zehvor]

In ten chapters we were taken from random comedic events to fighting against a Metroid-Hero Factory-Bionicle crossover.

 

Awesome.

 

Anywas, 'nother good chapter and such. Some good humor, with the Piraka continuing in doing so despite the lessened focus on them this chapter. Wonder how all of this will turn out...

 

-Toa Levacius Zehvor

[Meta Nuva]

Ah, two pages. Which means...I can't go back and check the previous chappy for info without losing my post .

Well, anyway, to start off. Sam seems like a pretty nice Toa, although I find it strange that he was stuck in a McDonald's for so long without dying...twice. Thank goodness mutant shrimps weren't in there, but perhaps a prequel to this would help explain this confusion.

. Anyway, the ultimate power is still not revealed, but here is what I think it could be:

Samus's mask (with ultimate power over Metroids)
Mario Mask: Allows the user to control Mario (besides Pridak)
Mask of McDonald's: Actually, never mind.

Basically, all of these were jokes and should not be taken seriously. Of course, it could be something like this reaction:

*insert Link getting Ooccoo for the first time*

So yeah. The last thing I must mention: man, there are a lot of "Voice"s in this comedy

KUTGW, MT.

~MN

[Toa Zehvor MT]

Anywas, 'nother good chapter and such. Some good humor, with the Piraka continuing in doing so despite the lessened focus on them this chapter. Wonder how all of this will turn out...

I've actually been somewhat stalling tying up the loose ends of this "saga," because I have no idea how to do so.

 

Anyone wanna write TBTTRAM for me? I'll mention you in the credits somewhere down the line.

 

So yeah. The last thing I must mention: man, there are a lot of "Voice"s in this comedy

They're all of the voices in your head telling you to buy the A3 Limited Edition. 

 

Speaking of which...Lev...if you bought that Limited Edition...perhaps I can interest you in the A3 Uber Special Leet Haxsorz Piraka Power Edition?

 

-MT

[JL v2]

Hey guess what

 

The more loose ends

 

 

 

The more people returning to read to see if you filled it up

 

 

(So if you promise 10+ filled loose ends only in the A3 Uber Special Leet Haxsorz Piraka Power Edition, people would so go.)

 

 

Speaking of which, a mention of A3! Yay~

[Hurricane iBrow]

Hmm... Villain Factory. You know what that means?

 

THE EVIL SORCERER WORBI - oh wait, no more guest stars. 'tis a sad day.

 

Well then... hmm... let's think here... the Big Bad is obviously an unknown, but the underling has to be... hold on... wait for it...

 

The underling is Jet Rocka, because then Xplode can steal his jet for his own selfish uses. Muahaha.

[Toa Zehvor MT]

So I would have gotten a chapter up more recently, but...

 

Turns out that once again Japan gets every single limited edition/pre-order bonus for video games that I want. >_>

 

And yes, the two are related.

 

Yesterday the limited edition version of Ace Attorney 5 was announced...but it's in Japan. And, sadly, I cannot read Japanese. So I've spent quite a while trying to figure out how to get it and its awesome Phoenix Wright figurine sent over here.

 

e-Capcom's the only website that sells it, and for some reason they decide to have every page in English EXCEPT the order form. So it's getting somewhat frustrating.

 

Anybody here speak Japanese?

 

(new chappy up tonight/tomorrow)

 

-MT

[Toa Zehvor MT]

Probably should have put a disclaimer on that last bit.

 

"If BZP's servers don't unexpectedly go under, I'll have a chapter up tomorrow."

 

 

Chapter 11: Yoga Yogurt

 

The following day…

Tahu: (walks through the hallway and heads towards the door)

*WHUMP!*

Tahu: Ow! My foot! What in the world…(looks down and notices Nocturn sleeping on the floor)

Nocturn: Zzzz….

Gadunka: *SNORE!*

Tahu: …great.

Xplode: You're up early.

Tahu: …yes. I am. I wanted to go check on the job interviews.

Xplode: …job interviews?

Tahu: Yeah. While you've been sitting around here almost getting eaten by robotic dogs, I've been busy starting a business. My associate should be wrapping up the first of the job interviews, and I wanted to come in and watch some of them myself just to make sure he's doing his job.

Xplode: …your associate?

Tahu: Mhm.

Xplode: …I sincerely hope this isn't where the Piraka have gone to.

Tahu: Oh, please. I would never hire the Piraka for anything. Except perhaps as people to ruin my own name if I ever started to hate myself.

Xplode: Well, glad you've still got some sense in you. Who's this new interviewer?

Tahu: A new friend of mine. Maybe you'll get a chance to meet him some day.

Xplode:  …and…what would this friend of yours happened to be named?

Tahu: (opens the door and looks bad at Xplode) …you can call him…Sam. (heads outside)

Xplode: …wonder if he likes green eggs and ham.

 

Meanwhile, at the car wash…

Sam: …so…welcome to the interview.

Person: Oh…um…thank you.

Sam: …is something wrong?

Person: Oh, no, no…I just had expected to be interviewed by someone a bit taller...

Sam: Well…that's a little prejudice.

Person: No, no, I didn't mean it like that!

Sam: Well…what did you mean it like?

Person: It's just that…most of the interviews I've had were with people who were less…plastic…

Sam: Not helping your cause here.

Person: …right. Sorry. Just…forget I said anything, all right?

Sam: Very well. Let's continue with the interview. What would you say your biggest strengths are?

Person: Well…um…hmm. I guess I would say my biggest strength is that I never steal.

Sam: …never steal?

Person: Yeah. Like, say, for example, if I'm in a restaurant with some friends, I would never steal their food.

Sam: …

Person: …

Sam: …

Person: Or, for example, if me and some other people were in a drive thru, I would absolutely never steal their hamburgers.

Sam: …

Person: …

Sam: …

Person: …uh…Mr. Sam? Are you ok?

Sam: Tahu sent you here to test me, didn't he?

Person: …Tahu?

Sam: Tahu! Come out! I know you're here! I know you set this up! Quit hiding and come out into the open! Taaahhhuuuu!!

 

Meanwhile, back at the mansion…

Zaktan: Whew. Finally made it out.

Avak: (pushes open the door and moves out onto the main floor of the mansion) …man…let's never do something like that again.

Vezok: But! We have this ultimate power now!

Hakann: Yeah…assuming someone can make it fit on one of our fat heads.

Thok: Oh, don't worry about that. Avak'll get it fixed, right buddy?

Avak: …first off…I'm not your buddy…and second off, no guarantees.

Thok: Oh. Well, good enough, buddy.

Zaktan: We're going to need to find some materials for welding and cutting.

Vezok: Let's head upstairs. I'd bet no one's gone up there yet, and we can just camp there until it's resized, then show it off to everyone else.

Zaktan: Good idea. Upstairs it is!

 

Meanwhile, elsewhere…

Nocturn: …zzzz…

Gadunka: *SNORE!*

Nocturn: …zzzzz….

Gadunka: *SNORE!*

Nocturn: …zzz…hmm? Wha? Huh? (wakes up and looks around)

(silence)

Gadunka: *SNORE!*

Nocturn: …hello? Anyone there? Hello?

(silence)

Nocturn: …mmm…please…don't ignore me…you're scaring me!

Voice: Quiet, you!

Nocturn: …wha-?

*WHAP!*

Nocturn: (hits the ground, hard)

Voice: …good for nothing thieves.

Voice 2: Does he have it?

Voice: …no. This isn't even the right one.

Voice 2: Not the right one? You mean there are even more of them?

Voice: Apparently so.

Voice 2: …great. Well, looks like we're going to need to go on a little scouting trip then. Black Hole?

Voice 3: …yes?

Voice 2: …let's move. We've got some thieves to catch. Leave these sleeping fools here. 

 

Meanwhile, outside…

Pridak: (heads on to the back porch) …mmm…dang, this is an incredible view…

Birds: *chirp*

Pridak: …I only wish there were more explosions…and more blowing things up…which are kind of the same thing, but-

*WHUMP!*

Pridak: WAUGH! (trips over something and falls over)

*CRASH!*

Pridak: …

Samus: …you ok there?

Pridak: …what in the world are you doing?

Samus: What?

Pridak: …why are you in that pose? How are you limbs not snapping off?

Samus: Yoga, and I'm flexible. 

Pridak: …yoga?

Samus: Yep.

Pridak: …why in the world would any self respecting bounty hunter do yoga? (picks himself up off the ground)

Samus: It's actually quite relaxing. And as for the reason I started, well…

 

FLASHBACK...

26 years ago…

Nintendo: Hey, Samus!

Samus: Hmm? What is it?

Nintendo: We've got a new power up finished for that new game we're making with you in it. Here. Take a look.

Samus: …it's…a really tiny ball.

Nintendo: Yep! And guess what?

Samus: …what?

Nintendo: You have to fit in it!

Samus: …

Nintendo: …

Samus: …you're kidding me.

Nintendo: Nope! We're calling it the "Morph Ball!" You get to roll around in it and stuff!

Samus: So let me get this straight. I have to somehow stuff myself into that tiny little sphere, and roll around inside?

Nintendo: Yep!

Samus: …

Nintendo: …

Samus: …

Nintendo: Game launches in two months, by the way. Here's a workout regiment and a VHS cassette with yoga on it. Have fun!

Samus: …maybe video game stardom wasn't the way to go after all.

 

END OF FLASHBACK…

Pridak: …oh.

Samus: Yep. Gotta stay flexible to not break bones when you have to stuff yourself into a sphere half your size and roll around.

Pridak: …well…sorry about that. I'll…try and be more careful where I walk next time-

*CRASH!*

WAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!

Pridak: …

Samus: …what was that?

Pridak: Sounded like it came from inside.

Samus: …we better go check on that.

Pridak: Yeah. Let's go. (grabs his squid launcher and runs off)

Samus: Hey! Wait up! I have to untangle myself from this silly pose! Ow! Hold on! 

 

To be continued…

 

-MT

[Toa Zehvor MT]

Chapter 12: An Old Not so Friend

 

At the mansion…

Pridak: …hello?

Samus: (waves her arm cannon around)

Pridak: ….anyone here?

Samus: Stay calm. They could be hiding anywhere.

Pridak: …what was that noise? Hello? Are you guys ok-(notices the chandelier smashed into bits on the ground) …oh fak.

Samus: What?

Pridak: The big sparkly light thingy! (rushes over to the glass)

Samus: …hmm.

Pridak: This is so not good. Evo or Nex will kill us for this. What do we do-(trips over a rope)

Rope: (catches Pridak's leg and sends him flying up into the air)

Pridak: WAUGH!!

Samus: …

Pridak: …

Samus: …

Pridak: …er…um…help? (dangles off of the ceiling)

Samus: With what?

Pridak: …getting down?

Samus: Oh. Right.

Pridak: ….

Samus: ….well…um…hang on for a minute…it's going to take me a minute to figure out how to get up there-(trips on a rope)

Rope: (snags Samus' feet)

Samus: Ah! (goes flying into the air and dangles from the ceiling)

Pridak: …

Samus: …

Pridak: …well…that solved the getting up here problem.

Samus: Be quiet. 

 

Meanwhile, upstairs…

Reidak: The last piece is in place.

Avak: Perfect. Now it's time to get to work. (puts the mask down on a makeshift table, grabs a welding helmet, and tries to stuff it onto his head)

Reidak: …

Zaktan: …

Avak: …perhaps after we finishing adjusting the mask's size, we should adjust that of the welding helmet as well.

Zaktan: I would think that would be something you would want to do beforehand, but whatever…

Hakann: You know what they say about safety.

Zaktan: …no, actually, I don't.

Hakann: "Safe"…is an illusion.

Zaktan: …who says that?

Hakann: Some novel character from a while back. I forget who it was.

Zaktan: …I didn't know you read novels.

Hakann: I didn't. I just sparknoted the book because we were being quizzed on it.

Zaktan: …when in the world did you ever have to take book quizzes?

Hakann: Back when I applied for the Navy Seals.

Zaktan: …

Thok: …

Hakann: ...

Zaktan: …there are so many things wrong with that statement that I'm not sure where to begin.

Hakann: Well, don't sweat it too much. I'm sure that you'll figure out which one to pick on first eventually-

*BAM!*

Door: (flies off of its hinges and crashes to the ground)

*WHUMP!*

Piraka: (turn around)

HF Set: …ah. There you are.

Ogrum: That's them, boss.

Bruizer: Thought you guys could get away, huh?

Vezok: Oh boy. Can't get enough of these fruitcakes. (points his zamor sphere launcher at the group)

Hakann: Who's that other guy they've got with them?

Zaktan: …don't know…but judging from the fact that he just kicked a locked door ten times his size off its hinges…I don't think he's going to be a lot of fun.

Pyrox: You're gonna pay for what you did last time. Isn't that right, Ice Beast?

Ice Beast: …

Pyrox: …he thinks you'll pay too!

Zaktan: ...

HF Set: Oh, relax guys! No need to get all upset. We're all friends here!

Zaktan: …

Hakann: …we're all friends?

Avak: I'm certainly not his friend.

HF Set: Aw, Avak! You don't remember me?

Avak: …huh? Remember you? From where?

HF Set: (steps forward) Yeah! You really forgot me?

Zaktan: …oh no…

Hakann: …gosh dang it…

Avak: Where did YOU come from?!?

Von Black Hole: Ha ha ha! Glad you guys remember me! Great to meet you again!

Zaktan: …the feeling is not mutual, rest assured.

Von Black Hole: Ha ha! Zaktan, my boy, you haven't changed a bit!

Zaktan: …"boy?"

Reidak: …well I certainly don't remember him. Who's he?

Vezok: He's a Hero Factory Set who was at the house with us. "Von Nebula" was his original name.

Von Black Hole: Yeah, but that was just way too boring. "Von Black Hole" was just so much better!

Hakann: …come to think of it…I haven't run into you in…at least a year. Did you run away from the house?

Von Black Hole: …well, er, no.

Hakann: …no? Where'd you go then?

Von Black Hole: …it's somewhat embarrasing…but I got locked in the freezer. 

Vezok: Again?

Von Black Hole: Again. I was stuck in there for almost a year and a half.

Zaktan: This is far too stupid to be true.

Von Black Hole: But it is! It's all true! Ha ha…oh boy.

Zaktan: …

Vezok: …

Hakann: …

Von Black Hole: Anyways, while I was in the freezer, I had a lot of time to think about what I was doing with my life. I decided that I had been really mean to some people. I felt…pretty bad.

Hakann: …wow. Lego managed to design a villain with some internal conflict. I'm impressed. Granted, it took a freezer to make the conflict come out…but still…

Thok: I think this is the first time in history that a freezer has ever been credited for character development.

Von Black Hole: So, anyway, I decided from that point on, I would stop being so mean.

Zaktan: …and yet…here you are…leading a gang of thugs to come beat us up.

Von Black Hole: Anyways, I was stuck in that freezer for about a year and a half…and then one day…I woke up, and found that the freezer was halfway destroyed, and that the house around me had been completely demolished. It was…a bit jarring, to say the least, especially since I had been frozen and forgotten about in the back of the freezer for at least eight months.

Thok: …

Hakann: …so…after the house was destroyed.

Von Black Hole: So after I was done thawing out…I decided to come find you guys. And here I am.

Hakann: …

Zaktan: …that's it? That's your explanation for how you're in Hawaii?

Von Black Hole: Pretty much.

Thok: …

Zaktan: …no "I hijacked a plane and flew over here?" No "I stole someone's car at a red light and snuck aboard a fishing boat on my way?" No explanation for how you somehow managed to cover the span of 6,000 miles within three days?

Von Black Hole: You'd be surprsised how fast I can run.

Thok: …

Zaktan: …

Reidak: …

Von Black Hole: Well, anyways, guess we should move on to something else.

Zaktan: …like what?

Bruizer: Like that mask over there!

Von Black Hole: Ah, yes. That. I'm sorry, but I must request that you give it back.

Zaktan: …I accept your apology…but I'm not giving this back.

Von Black Hole: …oh? Well…that's a shame, then.

Zaktan: …

Thok: …first you were sorry…now you're ashamed…

Von Black Hole: Yes, ashamed indeed. Ashamed of how badly I'm going to have to kick your butts!

Thok: …

Bruizer: …

Hakann: ...

Ice Beast: ...

Von Black Hole: …that…sounded far better when I practiced it in front of a mirror.

Zaktan: *sigh* Looks like we're not getting out of here without a fight.

Hakann: And looks like that whole "being nicer" personality of his went out the window quick.

Thok: Avak, you stay back. Get that mask finished up. We'll hold these losers off until you're ready.

Avak: On it.

Von Black Hole: …do you really think you can defeat me and the might of Villain Factory?

Zaktan: …well…if a freezer managed to stop you for a year and a half…how hard could it be?

 

Meanwhile, elsewhere…

Pridak: …any ideas?

Samus: No more than when you asked 15 seconds ago.

Pridak: …how many did you have then?

Samus: No more than when you asked 15 seconds before that.

Pridak: …and how many did-

Samus: NONE.

Pridak: …oh.

Samus: We're suspended twenty feet off the ground. A fall from this height would hurt badly. It's difficult coming up with a way to get down that doesn't involve free-falling.

Pridak: …man…this sucks. 

Samus: …

Pridak: …just…hurry up and figure out a way to get us down, please.

Samus: I'm working on it.

Pridak: Well, work faster.

Samus: …

Pridak: …man…I swear…if I don't get down soon…I'm going to go nuts-

*POW!*

Pridak: WAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHH-*CRASH!!*

Samus: …

Pridak: …WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

Samus: Well, you wanted me to hurry up and get you down.

Pridak: In some way that doesn't involve shooting my rope and causing me to fall to the ground!

Samus: Look, if you don't like it, then don't complain so much beforehand.

Pridak: …

Samus: …good. Now that you're down there…go find a pillow or something.

Pridak: *grumble grumble* (stalks off)

Samus: …Tahu better be paying me for this.

 

-MT

[Hurricane iBrow]

Xplode will, of course, be saving the day for Pridak and Samus. Somehow.

 

Then Tahu will die a tragic but heroic death, forcing Xplode to confront his destiny: to rule the Mansion in Tahu's place.

[ToaKapura1234]

Xplode will, of course, be saving the day for Pridak and Samus. Somehow.

 

Then Tahu will die a tragic but heroic death, forcing Xplode to confront his destiny: to rule the Mansion in Tahu's place.

XPlode is not a Bionicle. By default, he can't run the mansion.

[Hurricane iBrow]

By default, Xplode is so powerful he defies all laws, so he'll rule the Mansion anyway.

 

(There is no way to win, except to join Xplode)

[Meta Nuva]

Yes, Xplode is a Piraka on a lot of coffee (to say the least).

 

 

Thok: I think this is the first time in history that a freezer has ever been credited for character development.

 

He's right, you know.

 

 

Samus: …Tahu better be paying me for this.

 

She has her hopes WAY too high. Now, if she was Mario or Link, I could see him paying up, but...

 

 

Samus: Hey! Wait up! I have to untangle myself from this silly pose! Ow! Hold on! 

 

Still better than the Cucco Revenge Squad.

 

 

Probably should have put a disclaimer on that last bit.

 

"If BZP's servers don't unexpectedly go under, I'll have a chapter up tomorrow."

 

And this is (somewhat) why I couldn't post TFC in time .

 

Good job MT. You put on a good show, anywhere you go. (yes, it was a rhyme. Oh look there's a dime

 

on the floor)

 

~MN~

[rahkshi guurahk]

POst a chappy!!!!

[Toa Zehvor MT]

I'm coming, I'm coming.

 

Eventually.

 

Good job MT. You put on a good show, anywhere you go. (yes, it was a rhyme. Oh look there's a dime

Why thank you, good sir

Your rhymes I implore

And go crazy on the dance floor.

 

By default, Xplode is so powerful he defies all laws, so he'll rule the Mansion anyway.

 

(There is no way to win, except to join Xplode)

Xplode is a magical Bionicle Hero Factory Megablock hybrid with Unicorn powers.

 

(possibly not-canon explanation)

 

 

 

 

Chapter 13: Noisy People

 

At the Car Wash…

Tahu: (walks in) …

(silence)

Tahu: …hello?

(silence)

Tahu: …Sam? Hello? Is anyone the-(runs into someone)

*WHUMP!*

Person: AAAHH!!

Tahu: AAUGGHH!! (falls down)

Person: …oh. I'm so sorry….who are….you? (looks bizarrely at Tahu)

Tahu: …uh…er…Tahu. I'm the manager of this place. At least I thought I was. Sam! Where are you?

Sam: (walks out of a room) Oh, hey Mr. Tahu.

Tahu: …mister…?

Sam: Just finished up the last of the interviews. Here's the first of the new people I hired.

Tahu: …you finished them all…before I even GOT here?!

Sam: Yeah. Why?

Tahu: …are you sure you're not using some sort of speed hack for life or something?

Sam: Ha ha. No. I just do my job fast. This here is Bob.

Tahu: Hello, Bob.

Bob: Oh…hello, Mr. Tahu.

Tahu: …this is going to take some getting used to, I can tell.

Sam: And over here is the second employee I hired, Turaga Marina. Say hello, Ms. Marina!

Marina: You be quiet, whippersnapper. Back in my day, we had to show some respect for the elderly, and and we didn't interrupt them doing their job!

Sam: …she's um…a bit crazy.

Tahu: As well as utterly way too tiny for this job. Why did you hire a Turaga to work a job involving manual labor? Where did you even FIND a Turaga to hire?

Sam: *shrug* She was on the list of interviewees, and it came down to either her or some guy cross-dressing like Harley Quinn.

Tahu: …did the economy suddenly get really good without me noticing or something? How did the quality of employees drop THIS FAR?!

Mariana: Would you pipe down please! I have a job to do, and I can't be bothered to listen to some whippersnapper cry about…(notices Tahu)…oh….oh my…

Sam: ...

Tahu: …?

Mariana: Well, aren't you just the cutest thing? I have to say, I'm a bit flustered right now! It's been quite a while since I've felt this excited, hmm? 

Tahu: *GAK!* I BEG your pardon!

Mariana: Oh, no need to apologize! I'm not entirely sure what the right words are either, but that's not stopping me!

Tahu: …

Mariana: Oh, dear me! I'm talking so much, I haven't even been able to properly introduce myself!

Tahu: Oh…no…that's, um…quite all right. In fact, I have a prior engagement…right now…goodbye!

Mariana: Oh, dearie! Don't worry about that!

Tahu: …DEARIE?!

Mariana: Oh, you're so handsome when you're embarrassed!

Tahu: *GAK!*

Sam: …well…it seems you two are getting along wonderfully. I'll just leave you two together!

Tahu: NO! SAM! GET BACK HERE NOW! DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THIS WINDBAG ALONE!!

Mariana: Oh, sweetie!

Tahu: …AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!

 

Meanwhile, back at the mansion…

Pridak: All right. I got the pillow, like you asked.

Samus: Good. Now move it so that it's directly under me.

Pridak: (shoves the pillow below Samus) K.

Samus: Now, I'm going to shoot this rope and fall onto the pillow. So don't touch anything.

Pridak: …you sure about this?

Samus: Trust me. That pillow will make this nothing more than a comfy landing. (leans up and shoots the rope) 

*PEW!*

Pridak: (grabs the pillow and rips it out of the way)

Samus: (falls from the ceiling)

*CLONK!!*

Pridak: …

Samus: …

Pridak: …

Samus: …

Pridak: HA!! HA HA HA HA!! Oh, I got you! I got you so good! Ha….heh…heh…

Samus: …

Pridak: …

Samus: …

Pridak: …Samus? Are you ok? (walks over to Samus) Hey, Sam-

*KICK!*

Pridak: (goes flying and crashes into a wall on the other side of the room) 

*WHAM!*

Pridak: ….oh….good….you're alive after all.

Samus: (gets up) …I hate you.

Pridak: …excellent….one more person….added to the list. (falls off of the wall and crash lands on the ground)

Samus: …come on. Let's go find whoever made that trap.

 

Meanwhile, somewhere else…

Xplode: …(shakes his head)…wha…where in the world am I?

Voice: Oh, you don't have to worry about that.

Xplode: …shakes his head and notices he is tied to a chair…who the heck are you?

HF Set: You may call me…Furno. For Inferno. But shorter. I only run with two syllables or less.

Xplode: …

Furno: So…

Xplode: Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Furno: …huh?

Xplode: You got killed during the battle for the house. How are you alive?

Furno: …humph. You must be confusing me with another one of my phonies. Figures.

Xplode: …huh?

Furno: Allow me to elaborate. My name is Furno. William Furno. Actually, William Esquire Inferno the Fourth. Or Four Point Oh.

Xplode: …4.0?

Furno: Exactly. The 4th rendition of Furno. Bigger and badder. 

Xplode: …

Furno: Wanna know just how bad I am?

Xplode: Not really.

Furno: Check this out. (holds up a bag with a picture of himself on it)

Xplode: …

Furno: It's a bag.

Xplode: …indeed it is.

Furno: …

Xplode: …

Furno: …what? Don't you have anything to say?

Xplode: …uh…congratulations on having the object identifying skills of a first grader?

Furno: I CAME IN A BAG, SUCKER! NOT A COMFY, CANISTER! I CAME IN A BAG!

Xplode: …

Furno: I GOT KNOCKED AROUND WHILE I WAS BEING DELIVERED! I GOT BEAT UP BY DELIVERY TRUCK WALLS! SHARP TURNS SENT ME FLYING INTO PILES OF…other things that I couldn't really see because I was stuck inside a bag….BUT I GOT HIT A LOT! I SUFFERED SOME WAR WOUNDS! I'M BAD!

Xplode: …

Furno: …bet you came in one of those little soft canisters made to keep people comfy, huh?

Xplode: It was more of a cardboard box, but-

Furno: SHUT UP! (slaps Xplode)

*SLAP!*

Xplode: …that was….unnecessary.

Furno: You're not the one calling the shots around here, punk. If I say you came in a canister, you came in a canister. Got it?

Xplode: …so if you tell me to lie through my teeth, I lie through my teeth?

Furno: Yep.

Xplode: You must have so many friends.

Furno: I don't NEED friends…cause I'm BAD. And TOUGH.

Xplode: …and you smell like dog meat.

Furno: …

Xplode: …

Furno: …is that bad?

Xplode: Is what bad?

Furno: Smelling like dog meat.

Xplode: …yes…it's poor hygiene and it's-

Furno: THEN I SMELL LIKE DOG MEAT! CAUSE IT'S BAD!

Xplode: …words cannot even begin to describe how much I prefer the old Furno to this.

Furno: Heh…yeah….cause he wasn't BAD like me.

Xplode: …man…I think I'd even take Pridak over this….oh gosh what am I saying?

Furno: (slams his foot on the ground)

*WHAM!*

Xplode: …

Furno: …here's the deal, fireball. You're probably wondering why you're here, right?

Xplode: …kind of, yes.

Furno: Some of your friends made off with our loot a while back. Some "key to ultimate power" or something. So we kidnapped you and a couple of your friends while you were asleep. You guys aren't getting freed until we get our mask back. 

Xplode: Lovely. Knowing them, I'm never going to get back.

Furno: Heh. No matter. We already sent in a team of highly trained specialists to deal with the problem. They should be taking care of those lousy Piraka as we speak.

Xplode: …Piraka, huh? For once, Pridak isn't the one who's ruining my life.

 

Meanwhile, back at the mansion…

Von Black Hole: (punches Thok)

Thok: (goes flying into a wall and hits the ground, hard) ….oooogghh….

Zaktan:

Reidak:

Vezok: …just you and me, buddy!

Hakann: Please don't call me, buddy. (grabs Bruizer and hurls him against a wall)

*WHAM!*

Bruizer:

Vezok: That's one down! Four more left on the Vezok comeback train-

Ice Beast: (grabs Vezok and slams him into the ground)

*WHAM!*

Vezok: …ooogh…train derailed…

Hakann: (gets mobbed by Pyrox and Ogrum) Augh! Get off me! Get off!

Von Black Hole: …sorry, Avak…but I'm afraid I will have to stop you before you even got started.

Avak: (drops the mask and turns around) Ha! Never! I'll never surrender!

Von Black Hole: Oh, I wasn't asking for your surrender. (rears back and smacks Avak)

Avak: (goes flying and crashes onto the floor)

Von Black Hole: …heh…the mask is ours again! And this game is over! Ha ha ha ha ha-

Voice: Not quite.

Von Black Hole: …what the-

Missile: (comes flying out nowhere and smacks Von Black Hole in the stomach)

*BOOM!*

Von Black Hole: Oooogghh!! (tumbles backwards and collapses onto Avak's work bench)

Bruizer: …what the-?

Ogrum: …who is it?

Pridak: (walks into the room) Who? It's Pridak, Mother duckers.

Ogrum: …

Bruizer: …

Pyrox: …

Von Black Hole: ...

Samus: Get out of the way. (shoves Pridak aside and launches a Plasma Beam blast at Ice Beast)

Ice Beast: (gets hit and stumbles backwards) AAAUUGGHH!! FIRE!! BURN!! BURN!!! AAAUUGGHHH!!

Pyrox: Get her! (lunges towards Samus)

Samus: (grabs Pyrox swiftly and flips into the air before releasing a missile straight onto his head)

*BAM!*

Pyrox: (hits the ground) …ooooghh….ow…

Bruizer: (rushes up to Samus, followed by Ogrum)

Samus: (sweeps their feet out from under them with a swift kick and then freezes them in mid air with a well placed ice beam shot)

*SSHHRRK!!*

Samus: …? (turns around)

*SSHHRRK!!*

Samus: …is that you?

Pridak: Hmm? Oh, um…yeah…my squid launcher jammed.

Samus: …ah. 

Pridak: …

Samus: (walks over to Von Black Hole) …

Von Black Hole: …

Samus: …I don't appreciate being strung up 20 feet in the air.

Von Black Hole: And we don't appreciate having our stuff stolen! Give us our mask back!

Samus: (grabs the mask from Von Black Hole's hand)

Von Black Hole: Nnooooooooo! Now we'll never be able to conquer the world with the ultimate power! 

Samus: Oh, boo hoo, Doctor Freaking Doom. 

Pridak: …wait…is that it? Is that all there is? Are we done?

Samus: Yep. Another easy job.

Von Black Hole: Curse you…you…action figure! I'll be back! And when I do, I'll out action you so badly that-

Samus: (fires a missile at the floor by Von Black Hole)

Floor: (caves in and collapses, sending Von Black Hole tumbling downward, crashing through the first floor, and falling into the basement)

*WHUMP!*

Samus: …

Pridak: …well…let's get going! Mask of ultimate power, huh?

Samus: Don't even think about it. It wouldn't fit your fat head anyway. Avak didn't get very far in whatever he was doing to it.

Pridak: Oh…I wasn't thinking about anything like that….oh who am I kidding. Dang it.

Samus: Yeah. And I need you to do something while I…find a good place to hide this mask.

Pridak: What? I can't come with you?

Samus: NO.

Pridak: …awww…

Samus: Here. (Grabs a roll of duct tape) Tape those guys down really well. We don't need them coming back and causing any more mischief. Tahu can deal with them when he gets back. 

Pridak: …fine.

Samus: I'll be back. Try to not mess anything else up while I'm gone.

Pridak: …

Samus: (heads out of the room and disappears)

Pridak: …pfft. Taking the time to tape these losers up. Who has that? (grabs Bruizer and hurls him into the hole that Von Black Hole fell down) Not this busy man, that's for sure.

Zaktan: …ooooggghh….

Pridak: …

Zaktan: …

Pridak: …aw, why not? (grabs Zaktan and hurls him down as well)

 

To be continued…

 

-MT

Edited by Toa Zehvor MT, May 04 2013 - 12:45 AM.

[JL v2]

Woo! Back on! Chapters!

Skadoosh!

 

What a nice break from terrorizing 10 year olds on Xbox. Now to read....

Edited by JL v2, May 08 2013 - 12:29 AM.

[King of the Madness Isles]

Guess who...PurpleBouncy!

 

Anyways, I'm back because I need to wrap up my own comedy, and I figured why not read the rest of A2, followed by this, in time for A3's debut? I'm still on A2, so I don't know if I'm dead or not, but we'll see.

[JL v2]

Guess who...PurpleBouncy!

 

Anyways, I'm back because I need to wrap up my own comedy, and I figured why not read the rest of A2, followed by this, in time for A3's debut? I'm still on A2, so I don't know if I'm dead or not, but we'll see.

why you stop playing xbox

[King of the Madness Isles]

Guess who...PurpleBouncy!

 

Anyways, I'm back because I need to wrap up my own comedy, and I figured why not read the rest of A2, followed by this, in time for A3's debut? I'm still on A2, so I don't know if I'm dead or not, but we'll see.

why you stop playing xbox

 

Nice to see you too. Also, by why I stopped playing, you mean why haven't I played since this weekend?

[JL v2]

 

Guess who...PurpleBouncy!

 

Anyways, I'm back because I need to wrap up my own comedy, and I figured why not read the rest of A2, followed by this, in time for A3's debut? I'm still on A2, so I don't know if I'm dead or not, but we'll see.

why you stop playing xbox

 

Nice to see you too. Also, by why I stopped playing, you mean why haven't I played since this weekend?

i haven't seen you online since that time we were in a party while i was raiding this sea fort in skyrim

[King of the Madness Isles]

 

 

Guess who...PurpleBouncy!

 

Anyways, I'm back because I need to wrap up my own comedy, and I figured why not read the rest of A2, followed by this, in time for A3's debut? I'm still on A2, so I don't know if I'm dead or not, but we'll see.

why you stop playing xbox

 

Nice to see you too. Also, by why I stopped playing, you mean why haven't I played since this weekend?

i haven't seen you online since that time we were in a party while i was raiding this sea fort in skyrim

 

Well, I've been online constantly. But anyways, to get back on topic, I'm still reading through A2. Excited for the ending, so I will be avoiding spoilers.

[Toa Zehvor MT]

Well, I've been online constantly. But anyways, to get back on topic, I'm still reading through A2. Excited for the ending, so I will be avoiding spoilers.

 

QUI GON JINN DIES AT THE END!

 

Chapter 14: Interesting People

 

Some time later…at the mansion…

Omega Turtle: …buhhhh….*yawn*…mmm…

(silence)

Omega Turtle: …where the buh did everyone buh go…(walks over and shakes Master Chief)

Master Chief: …hmm? Huh? Wha-?

Omega Turtle: …do you buh know where everyone buh went?

Master Chief: …went? No. Who went?

Omega Turtle: …what?

Master Chief: I dunno.

Omega Turtle: …

Master Chief: Zzzz….

Omega Turtle: …fine then. Guess I'm going to go buh find where everyone buh went myself. 

*Slam!*

Omega Turtle: (turns around) …oh. Hey there.

Tahu: …hey. 

Omega Turtle: …

Tahu: …what's up?

Omega Turtle: …do you buh know where everyone is?

Tahu: …uh, no. I've been at work all morning, dealing with the most annoying employee of all time. 

Omega Turtle: I'm starting to get buh worried. It's really quiet.

Tahu: …hmm. Well, I'm sure they're just off, playing together peacefully.

Omega Turtle: …

Tahu: …

Omega Turtle: …

Tahu: …

Omega Turtle: …

Tahu: …ok, yeah right, whatever. Let's go look.

 

Meanwhile, elsewhere…

Nex: …zz….wha…huh?

Evo: …zzzz…

Nex: …mmm…where….where am I? (looks around, and notices that both he and Evo are tied to chairs)

Voice: You are in…the hall of mysteries…

Nex: …huh?

Furno: …you're finally up. Good to know.

Nex: …who are you? 

Furno: Me? You can call me…daddy.

Nex: …

Evo: …zzzz….

Furno: …wake up! (kicks Evo)

Evo: AUGH! (falls over in his chair) 

*WHUMP!*

Nex: …

Furno: Around here, you take orders from ME. Got it?

Nex: …

Evo: …my head…

Furno: Now then…first order. Tell me where the mask is. And don't even think of telling me that you don't know, because I know you do.

Nex: What mask?

Furno: …

Evo: …

Nex: …oh.

Furno: Wrong answer. (kicks Nex and his chair over)

*WHUMP!*

Nex: Ow!

Furno: Now…you kids want to play around any more, or you want to tell us the truth?

Nex: …

Evo: …

Furno: …fine. I can tell that it's going to take more than a little intimidation to get you two to talk. Very well. (walks over to a box and pulls out a CD)

Nex: …

Evo: …

Furno: Do you know what this is?

Evo: …a…CD?

Furno: WRONG. (grabs Evo and lifts him into the air) It's not just a CD. It's a CD…with Justin Bieber on it.

Evo: …

Nex: …

Furno: If you don't give me the information I want, I will put this CD with Justin Bieber in, press the play button, and walk away. You will be forced to listen to all 70 minutes plus of the worst music recorded in the history of mankind, non-stop. No breaks, no relief, nothing. 

Evo: …

Furno: Now…you wanna talk, or what?

Evo: …

Nex: …

Furno: …fine. Your mistake, suckers. (puts the CD in a boom box, presses play and heads for the door)

Evo: …

Furno: …I'll be back in an hour or so. You'll be ready to talk by then. (slams the door behind him)

Evo: …

Nex: …

(Insert Terrible Music here)

Evo: …is this…supposed to be some horrible form of torture or something?

Nex: Maybe it gets worse as it goes along?

Evo: …

Nex: …

Evo: …you know…this is actually kind of catchy. 

Nex: Yeah…

Evo: …

Nex: …

Evo: …

Nex: …

Evo: …soooo…what now?

 

Back at the mansion, in the basement…

Avak: …ugggh…owww….

Von Black Hole: …ooooghhh…

Pyrox: …wha…what happened?

Zaktan: …it appears…that we have been unceremoniously dumped through that hole in the ceiling. (points up)

Ice Beast: …

Vezok: …well…that's great. How do we get out?

Von Black Hole: (strikes a match) WE aren't doing anything.

Vezok: …

Von Black Hole: My men and I will be leaving here, and you will be staying put, until we can send for reinforcements to recapture you. Resist, and we will gladly hand you another beatdown.

Hakann: Why, I oughta-

Zaktan: Stop, Hakann. They outclass us.

Hakann: …Zaktan?

Von Black Hole: Ha. Even your leader can tell that you have no chance.

Zaktan: Before you make your decision, Von Black Hole, I'd like for you to take a look at something. Mind if I borrow your match?

Von Black Hole: …

Zaktan: (grabs the match) Thank you. Now, direct your attention towards…this! (shines a light in the back corner of the room)

Nocturn: *gobble gobble slobber* (stuffs a frozen chicken in his mouth)

Von Black Hole: GAH!!!

Pyrox: …what is that….thing?!

Zaktan: That is one of the many horrors of the basement. Horrors that will tear you to shreds if you are not careful. Horrors that we can navigate you past, but only if you allow us to come with you.

Pyrox: …

Ogrum: …

Von Black Hole: Fine. Whatever. We'll get you sometime later.

 

Meanwhile, upstairs…

Tahu: …this is starting to worry me, all right.

Omega Turtle: Where could everyone have buh gone?

Tahu: …no clue. One thing's for certain. Something is definitely messed up here.

*RIIIINNNNGGG!*

Omega Turtle: …

Tahu: …who's calling here?

Omega Turtle: Probably just a buh silly telemarketer. Buh ignore it.

Tahu: …it's worth at least checking out…(walks over and grabs the phone) Hello?

Phone: Hello. Is this Mr. Tahu?

Tahu: Yes…how do you know my name?

Phone: I know quite a bit about you, in fact. My name is Furno…and I'd like to set up an exchange.

 

To be continued…

 

-MT

[rahkshi guurahk]

Which furno? (yes, I know this is very short.)

[Toa Zehvor MT]

Which furno? (yes, I know this is very short.)

Furno 4.0 is the one that appears in this comedy. Furno 1.0 died in the battle of the House at the end of A2.

 

Furno 2.0 and 3.0 haven't appeared yet (and likely won't)

 

-MT

[Mesonak]

To dredge up something from way back in March, that Omega Shadow looks pretty awesome. Interesting premise for a villain, as well.

 

Let's see, where to begin... I'll just quote a few moments that I particularly enjoyed from the chapters I've missed, and then review the latest three.

 

Cyberwolf: I have been programmed to eat you. You will be lunch.

Xplode: I taste terrible!

Cyberwolf: I have no sense of taste.

Xplode: …I cause nausea!

Cyberwolf: I have no stomach.

Xplode: …I'm poisonous! You might die!

Cyberwolf: I am immune to poison. Your pitiful attempts at scaring me off are ineffectual.

Xplode: …gosh dang it I want to be a robot.

 

Zaktan: …normally, one doesn't refer to having brains as being "infected."

Ogrum: No, you don't understand. These aren't normal types of brains. These are BRAINS!

Zaktan: …

Ogrum: …

Zaktan: …you're right. I don't understand. What's the difference?

 

 

Zaktan: …so what happened to you, anyway? I thought you got dropped into a pool of lava.

Thok: Turns out it was actually just spaghetti sauce.

Zaktan: …spaghetti sauce?

Thok: Yeah. It took forever to get out of, too. It's really sticky, and I couldn't swim up in it, so I had to eat the entire pool of it to get out.

 

Chapter 12: Pretty great. Loved the return of "Von Black Hole." Samus and Pridak's continuing antics were also hilarious, as usual.

 

Chapter 13: Words can't express how funny I found Furno's introduction. That was the funniest thing in quite a while, and it's scary how perfect that interpretation of Furno actually is. The battle was quite entertaining as well.

 

14. Tahu and Omega Turtle's conversation was quite funny, as was the predicament of Nex and Evo. Good chapter.

 

....FINALLY CAUGHT UP. Now, maybe It'll stay that way. (as if)

 

-Mesonak

[Toa Zehvor MT]

Well I had meant to get this up a lot sooner...but then BZP was down a lot...and then A3 came out...and then BZP was down some more...

 

So it's not entirely my fault this time.

 

Stuff.

 

ALSO MESONAK IF YOU KEEP CAUGHT UP WHO WILL I YELL AT ABOUT NOT KEEPING UP?

 

 

Chapter 15: Horrors of the Basement

 

Omega Turtle: …so what was that all buh about?

Tahu: …we're being blackmailed.

Omega Turtle: Blackmailed?

Tahu: Some creep took Xplode, Evo, and Nex hostage. He's holding them hostage, and if we don't give him what he wants, he'll hurt them badly.

Omega Turtle: Well, what does he buh want?

Tahu: Some kind of…mask of ultimate power.

Omega Turtle: …we have the mask of ultimate buh power?

Tahu: Supposedly, we're responsible for stealing it. Supposedly.

Omega Turtle: *Sigh* In that buh case, we better talk to the Piraka and Pridak. Chances are one of them is buh behind this.

Pridak: Don't have to worry about me. Wasn't I.

Tahu: …

Omega Turtle: …where'd you buh come from?

Pridak: Dealing with some fools who were trying to retake the mask you were just talking about.

Tahu: …fools?

Omega Turtle: Wait a minute. If these buh fools were trying to retake the mask…

Pridak: …

Omega Turtle: …and they were fighting you…doesn't that mean that YOU have the buh mask?

Pridak: …er…well…um…no, actually, it doesn't.

Tahu: …

Pridak: They were actually mostly fighting the Piraka. The Piraka were the ones who had the mask.

Tahu: Then why were you fighting?

Pridak: …y'know…I was…helping my good friends out…and stuff.

Omega Turtle: …I think this is at buh least worth a closer look.

Tahu: Same. Pridak, lead us to the scene of the action.

Pridak: Huh? Me? Why me?

Tahu: …because you know where it is?

Pridak: …but…well…er…um…

Tahu: …something the matter?

Pridak: No, it's just…I wanted to look for clues…elsewhere…

Omega Turtle: …why would there be any buh clues elsewhere?

Pridak: Well…you won't know until you look.

Tahu: …

Omega Turtle: …

Pridak: …please?

Tahu: Fine. Whatever. Just don't break anything. Let's go give this a look.

Pridak: Yes! (heads off into the house)

Omega Turtle: …you're really going to buh let him run off like that? He could have important information, or know where that mask is!

Tahu: In all honesty, I'm hoping he gets kidnapped as well. Maybe I can barter for only getting certain hostages back.

 

Meanwhile, in the basement…

Zaktan: …hmm. Dead end. 

Vezok: Again.

Von Black Hole: I thought you guys said you knew your way around this basement.

Zaktan: …we do.

Von Black Hole: …so why is it that we've been down here for 15 minutes and still haven't gotten out?

Zaktan: Well….it's a large basement, after all.

Von Black Hole: …you said you knew your way around it. Size shouldn't be a problem.

Zaktan: …

Vezok: (whispers to Zaktan) …we're running out of time.

Zaktan: I know! I know! Just stay calm. It's gotta be around here somewhere.

Von Black Hole: …

Zaktan: …

Vezok: …

Zaktan: …hang on…I think I found something…

Hakann: What is it?

Zaktan: Feels like…a door handle…hmmm…

Hakann: …well? Open it! Open it!

Zaktan: I am! It's stuck…maybe if I twist it hard enough…

*CRUNCH!*

Zaktan: …oh dear.

Voice: RRROOOOOOOAAAAARRRRRRR!!

Zaktan: …not a doorknob.

Voice: GAADDUUNNKKAAA! GADUNKA GADUNKA GADUNKA GADUNKA!!

Avak: …well…that didn't go so well.

Zaktan: …hey, uh, Gadunka? Sorry about your leg and all…but could you give us an idea as to where the exit in this place is?

*SMACK!*

Zaktan: (goes flying) Waaaauuuugggghhhhhh….*CRASH!*

Avak: …and it's now been downgraded from "not so well" to "bad."

 

Meanwhile, elsewhere…

Xplode: ….ergh…arch…mmph….there! 

(Xplode slips out his chair)

Xplode: Finally. Some progress. Now to just break out of this room…

Voice: Hey! Psst! 

Xplode: …who's that?

Voice: Who's in there? We need help!

Xplode: …

Voice: We're in the other room! Get over here!

Xplode: (heads to a small window and peers inside) Nex? Evo?

Nex: Help! Get us out!

Xplode: Give me a second…I'm trying to figure out how exactly to get out of this room myself…the door's locked here, and it doesn't look like it's going to budge-

*WHAM!*

Door: (flies open)

Xplode: -never mind…

Furno: Well, well, well….look what we have here.

Xplode: Oh, great.

Furno: Looks like you're a bit craftier than I gave you credit for. Well done, Mr. Villain.

Xplode: Um…thank you…what did you say your name was, again?

Furno: Hey! Presto!

Xplode: …Presto?

Stormer: Sir!

Furno: Hold this for me. (hands Stormer his launcher)

Stormer: Sir!

Xplode: …I thought it was Preston…wait…

Furno: Look, buddy. We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way.

Xplode: …

Furno: Your people are being a bit slow about getting that mask to us, so until then, you have to stay right here, I'm afraid. Now, get in that chair, or I'll place your unconscious body in it. Your choice.

Xplode: (grabs the chair) You mean…this chair?

Furno: The very same.

Xplode: (holds the chair up and snaps it in two) 

*CRACK!*

Xplode: …

Furno: …

Xplode: …you mean…this chair? (holds up the pieces of the chair)

Furno: …why you….that was my ancestor's chair! That's been in the Furno family for three generations!

Xplode: …never really been one for antiques.

Furno: That's it, buddy. You just bought yourself a ride to the pain train. Population…you.

Xplode: Never been much of a train guy. (readies his fists) …let's find out how well you hold up when the other person can fight back?

Furno: …

Xplode: …

Furno: RAAAAGGGGHHHHH-

Xplode: RRAAAWWRRRRRR-

 

A WILD CLIFFHANGER APPEARED!

 

MT USED: PUT OFF FIGHT SCENE UNTIL NEXT CHAPPY!

 

IT MADE EVERYONE ANNOYED!

 

-MT

[rahkshi guurahk]

Xplode: …you mean…this chair? (holds up the pieces of the chair)

Furno: …why you….that was my ancestor's chair! That's been in the Furno family for three generations!

Xplode: …never really been one for antiques.

 

Why would he care about a chair made in 2011 ish?

[Toa Zehvor MT]

Xplode: …you mean…this chair? (holds up the pieces of the chair)
Furno: …why you….that was my ancestor's chair! That's been in the Furno family for three generations!
Xplode: …never really been one for antiques.
 
Why would he care about a chair made in 2011 ish?

I'll get Agent Lang to answer that one for you.
 
======
 
"Lang Zi says..."
 

 
"'The passage of time is but a fleeting moment.'"
 
-MT

Edited by Toa Zehvor MT, May 19 2013 - 12:19 AM.