I'm coming, I'm coming.
Good job MT. You put on a good show, anywhere you go. (yes, it was a rhyme. Oh look there's a dime
Why thank you, good sir
Your rhymes I implore
And go crazy on the dance floor.
By default, Xplode is so powerful he defies all laws, so he'll rule the Mansion anyway.
(There is no way to win, except to join Xplode)
Xplode is a magical Bionicle Hero Factory Megablock hybrid with Unicorn powers.
(possibly not-canon explanation)
Chapter 13: Noisy People
At the Car Wash…
Tahu: (walks in) …
Tahu: …Sam? Hello? Is anyone the-(runs into someone)
Tahu: AAUGGHH!! (falls down)
Person: …oh. I'm so sorry….who are….you? (looks bizarrely at Tahu)
Tahu: …uh…er…Tahu. I'm the manager of this place. At least I thought I was. Sam! Where are you?
Sam: (walks out of a room) Oh, hey Mr. Tahu.
Sam: Just finished up the last of the interviews. Here's the first of the new people I hired.
Tahu: …you finished them all…before I even GOT here?!
Sam: Yeah. Why?
Tahu: …are you sure you're not using some sort of speed hack for life or something?
Sam: Ha ha. No. I just do my job fast. This here is Bob.
Tahu: Hello, Bob.
Bob: Oh…hello, Mr. Tahu.
Tahu: …this is going to take some getting used to, I can tell.
Sam: And over here is the second employee I hired, Turaga Marina. Say hello, Ms. Marina!
Marina: You be quiet, whippersnapper. Back in my day, we had to show some respect for the elderly, and and we didn't interrupt them doing their job!
Sam: …she's um…a bit crazy.
Tahu: As well as utterly way too tiny for this job. Why did you hire a Turaga to work a job involving manual labor? Where did you even FIND a Turaga to hire?
Sam: *shrug* She was on the list of interviewees, and it came down to either her or some guy cross-dressing like Harley Quinn.
Tahu: …did the economy suddenly get really good without me noticing or something? How did the quality of employees drop THIS FAR?!
Mariana: Would you pipe down please! I have a job to do, and I can't be bothered to listen to some whippersnapper cry about…(notices Tahu)…oh….oh my…
Mariana: Well, aren't you just the cutest thing? I have to say, I'm a bit flustered right now! It's been quite a while since I've felt this excited, hmm?
Tahu: *GAK!* I BEG your pardon!
Mariana: Oh, no need to apologize! I'm not entirely sure what the right words are either, but that's not stopping me!
Mariana: Oh, dear me! I'm talking so much, I haven't even been able to properly introduce myself!
Tahu: Oh…no…that's, um…quite all right. In fact, I have a prior engagement…right now…goodbye!
Mariana: Oh, dearie! Don't worry about that!
Mariana: Oh, you're so handsome when you're embarrassed!
Sam: …well…it seems you two are getting along wonderfully. I'll just leave you two together!
Tahu: NO! SAM! GET BACK HERE NOW! DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THIS WINDBAG ALONE!!
Mariana: Oh, sweetie!
Meanwhile, back at the mansion…
Pridak: All right. I got the pillow, like you asked.
Samus: Good. Now move it so that it's directly under me.
Pridak: (shoves the pillow below Samus) K.
Samus: Now, I'm going to shoot this rope and fall onto the pillow. So don't touch anything.
Pridak: …you sure about this?
Samus: Trust me. That pillow will make this nothing more than a comfy landing. (leans up and shoots the rope)
Pridak: (grabs the pillow and rips it out of the way)
Samus: (falls from the ceiling)
Pridak: HA!! HA HA HA HA!! Oh, I got you! I got you so good! Ha….heh…heh…
Pridak: …Samus? Are you ok? (walks over to Samus) Hey, Sam-
Pridak: (goes flying and crashes into a wall on the other side of the room)
Pridak: ….oh….good….you're alive after all.
Samus: (gets up) …I hate you.
Pridak: …excellent….one more person….added to the list. (falls off of the wall and crash lands on the ground)
Samus: …come on. Let's go find whoever made that trap.
Meanwhile, somewhere else…
Xplode: …(shakes his head)…wha…where in the world am I?
Voice: Oh, you don't have to worry about that.
Xplode: …shakes his head and notices he is tied to a chair…who the heck are you?
HF Set: You may call me…Furno. For Inferno. But shorter. I only run with two syllables or less.
Xplode: Aren't you supposed to be dead?
Xplode: You got killed during the battle for the house. How are you alive?
Furno: …humph. You must be confusing me with another one of my phonies. Figures.
Furno: Allow me to elaborate. My name is Furno. William Furno. Actually, William Esquire Inferno the Fourth. Or Four Point Oh.
Furno: Exactly. The 4th rendition of Furno. Bigger and badder.
Furno: Wanna know just how bad I am?
Xplode: Not really.
Furno: Check this out. (holds up a bag with a picture of himself on it)
Furno: It's a bag.
Xplode: …indeed it is.
Furno: …what? Don't you have anything to say?
Xplode: …uh…congratulations on having the object identifying skills of a first grader?
Furno: I CAME IN A BAG, SUCKER! NOT A COMFY, CANISTER! I CAME IN A BAG!
Furno: I GOT KNOCKED AROUND WHILE I WAS BEING DELIVERED! I GOT BEAT UP BY DELIVERY TRUCK WALLS! SHARP TURNS SENT ME FLYING INTO PILES OF…other things that I couldn't really see because I was stuck inside a bag….BUT I GOT HIT A LOT! I SUFFERED SOME WAR WOUNDS! I'M BAD!
Furno: …bet you came in one of those little soft canisters made to keep people comfy, huh?
Xplode: It was more of a cardboard box, but-
Furno: SHUT UP! (slaps Xplode)
Xplode: …that was….unnecessary.
Furno: You're not the one calling the shots around here, punk. If I say you came in a canister, you came in a canister. Got it?
Xplode: …so if you tell me to lie through my teeth, I lie through my teeth?
Xplode: You must have so many friends.
Furno: I don't NEED friends…cause I'm BAD. And TOUGH.
Xplode: …and you smell like dog meat.
Furno: …is that bad?
Xplode: Is what bad?
Furno: Smelling like dog meat.
Xplode: …yes…it's poor hygiene and it's-
Furno: THEN I SMELL LIKE DOG MEAT! CAUSE IT'S BAD!
Xplode: …words cannot even begin to describe how much I prefer the old Furno to this.
Furno: Heh…yeah….cause he wasn't BAD like me.
Xplode: …man…I think I'd even take Pridak over this….oh gosh what am I saying?
Furno: (slams his foot on the ground)
Furno: …here's the deal, fireball. You're probably wondering why you're here, right?
Xplode: …kind of, yes.
Furno: Some of your friends made off with our loot a while back. Some "key to ultimate power" or something. So we kidnapped you and a couple of your friends while you were asleep. You guys aren't getting freed until we get our mask back.
Xplode: Lovely. Knowing them, I'm never going to get back.
Furno: Heh. No matter. We already sent in a team of highly trained specialists to deal with the problem. They should be taking care of those lousy Piraka as we speak.
Xplode: …Piraka, huh? For once, Pridak isn't the one who's ruining my life.
Meanwhile, back at the mansion…
Von Black Hole: (punches Thok)
Thok: (goes flying into a wall and hits the ground, hard) ….oooogghh….
Vezok: …just you and me, buddy!
Hakann: Please don't call me, buddy. (grabs Bruizer and hurls him against a wall)
Vezok: That's one down! Four more left on the Vezok comeback train-
Ice Beast: (grabs Vezok and slams him into the ground)
Vezok: …ooogh…train derailed…
Hakann: (gets mobbed by Pyrox and Ogrum) Augh! Get off me! Get off!
Von Black Hole: …sorry, Avak…but I'm afraid I will have to stop you before you even got started.
Avak: (drops the mask and turns around) Ha! Never! I'll never surrender!
Von Black Hole: Oh, I wasn't asking for your surrender. (rears back and smacks Avak)
Avak: (goes flying and crashes onto the floor)
Von Black Hole: …heh…the mask is ours again! And this game is over! Ha ha ha ha ha-
Voice: Not quite.
Von Black Hole: …what the-
Missile: (comes flying out nowhere and smacks Von Black Hole in the stomach)
Von Black Hole: Oooogghh!! (tumbles backwards and collapses onto Avak's work bench)
Bruizer: …what the-?
Ogrum: …who is it?
Pridak: (walks into the room) Who? It's Pridak, Mother duckers.
Von Black Hole: ...
Samus: Get out of the way. (shoves Pridak aside and launches a Plasma Beam blast at Ice Beast)
Ice Beast: (gets hit and stumbles backwards) AAAUUGGHH!! FIRE!! BURN!! BURN!!! AAAUUGGHHH!!
Pyrox: Get her! (lunges towards Samus)
Samus: (grabs Pyrox swiftly and flips into the air before releasing a missile straight onto his head)
Pyrox: (hits the ground) …ooooghh….ow…
Bruizer: (rushes up to Samus, followed by Ogrum)
Samus: (sweeps their feet out from under them with a swift kick and then freezes them in mid air with a well placed ice beam shot)
Samus: …? (turns around)
Samus: …is that you?
Pridak: Hmm? Oh, um…yeah…my squid launcher jammed.
Samus: (walks over to Von Black Hole) …
Von Black Hole: …
Samus: …I don't appreciate being strung up 20 feet in the air.
Von Black Hole: And we don't appreciate having our stuff stolen! Give us our mask back!
Samus: (grabs the mask from Von Black Hole's hand)
Von Black Hole: Nnooooooooo! Now we'll never be able to conquer the world with the ultimate power!
Samus: Oh, boo hoo, Doctor Freaking Doom.
Pridak: …wait…is that it? Is that all there is? Are we done?
Samus: Yep. Another easy job.
Von Black Hole: Curse you…you…action figure! I'll be back! And when I do, I'll out action you so badly that-
Samus: (fires a missile at the floor by Von Black Hole)
Floor: (caves in and collapses, sending Von Black Hole tumbling downward, crashing through the first floor, and falling into the basement)
Pridak: …well…let's get going! Mask of ultimate power, huh?
Samus: Don't even think about it. It wouldn't fit your fat head anyway. Avak didn't get very far in whatever he was doing to it.
Pridak: Oh…I wasn't thinking about anything like that….oh who am I kidding. Dang it.
Samus: Yeah. And I need you to do something while I…find a good place to hide this mask.
Pridak: What? I can't come with you?
Samus: Here. (Grabs a roll of duct tape) Tape those guys down really well. We don't need them coming back and causing any more mischief. Tahu can deal with them when he gets back.
Samus: I'll be back. Try to not mess anything else up while I'm gone.
Samus: (heads out of the room and disappears)
Pridak: …pfft. Taking the time to tape these losers up. Who has that? (grabs Bruizer and hurls him into the hole that Von Black Hole fell down) Not this busy man, that's for sure.
Pridak: …aw, why not? (grabs Zaktan and hurls him down as well)
To be continued…