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[Baron Von Nebula]

As the trend appears to be, I am going to re-post The Bionicle Channel episode by episode. It will be basically the same, but I will edit some less satisfactory parts... More importantly, I switched from prose to script more recently, and think I will retype those first episodes in script to avoid confusion. Or I could retype the last few episodes in prose. Nah.

Prologue:

Location: Unknown.

Stormer: Alpha Team mission log- we have arrived at the subject location. I am hot on the trail of one of the most infamous villains in the galaxy, and-
Stringer: What's a subject location? Shouldn't we not know who that villain is in this point in the story? And why are you talking to a banana?
Stormer: ...Forget it. *kicks door down* Freeze! *fires random ice blasts*
Bulk: *to Stringer* No wonder Stormer's this crazy; he has the element with the most awful puns.
Stormer: I SAID FREEZE! *aims at Stringer and Bulk*
Stringer: What are you doing?
Stormer: That's exactly what I thought you would say, VON NEBULA! *starts trying to pull Bulk and Stringer's heads off*
Bulk: Ow! How can you-ow-think we're both Von Nebula?
Stormer: That's exactly what Von Nebula would say. You can't fool me with these disguises, and this fake suburban house! It is NOTHING! *throws Bulk and Stringer across room and starts smashing the most valuable items* NOTHING!
*At this moment, the owner of the house enters the room*
Later,
Stormer: That's the fourth one this week.
Bulk: I told you, it's becoming popular to prank call Hero Factory. Having a phone service was probably a bad idea in the first place.

Location: Von Nebula's ACTUAL base
Von Nebula: *enters room and sits on large green hideous couch* *picks up remote* COME ON!
Meltdown: Be there in a minute!
Rotor: Here I am boss! *gets propeller stuck in doorway* Uhh... help?
Von Nebula: I'll do it... *aims staff at Rotor, and gravity pulls Rotor free*
Rotor: Thanks, boss! *tries to fly to couch*
Von Nebula: *ducks*
Rotor: *crashes into ceiling*
Von Nebula: *grumble* MELTDOWN! WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?
Meltdown: Be there in a minute! or ten
Corroder: *enters* Of course its NOT like you've ruined ANOTHER microwave, my cycloptoid friend?
Meltdown: What-NO! What do you mean? Of course not!
Von Nebula: Hmmm...
Xplode: Hey guys, whats up?
Von Nebula: *grabs Xplode and hurls him into the kitchen*
Location: Kitchen
*the microwave is smoking and sputtering. An acid green... acid oozed out of it*
Xplode: *gets up* What happened to the microwave? Don't try to convince me heroes attacked and you used it to defeat them.
Location: Flashback
Hero 1: Come, my fellow heroes. Let us enter into this pleasant abode, and locate a telephone with which to contact our allies!
Heroes 2 and 3: Huzzah!
Meltdown: I'm not evil!
Hero 2: Methinks this ruffian be not telling the truth-eth.
Meltdown: Truth-eth? Seriously?
Hero 1: Wait a minute... I think I may know where we are...
Von Nebula: *shouting from the other room* MELTDOWN! WHERE ARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU DISOBEY ME, VON NEBULA, IN MY LAIR, THE LAIR OF VON NEBULA!
Hero 1: We're in the lair of the Loch Ness Monster!
Heroes: *scream*
Meltdown: *thinking* I'd better do something about these guys before they realize where they are... *throws random chemicals into microwave, turning it into a teleporter/amnesia gun and solving all his problems*
Location: Present
Meltdown: And that's what happened.
Xplode: What happened?
Meltdown: Oh right, other people can't see flashbacks... although I'm sure this law will be broken later in the series.
Xplode: What?
Meltdown: Never mind. I was making popcorn.
Xplode: Fool. Just do what I do.
Meltdown: And what would that be?
Xplode: Open the bag and toss a grenade inside. *does just this*
Meltdown: *grabs Vapour, who had been scrubbing the floor throughout all this, and runs out*
Location: TV Room. Von Nebula has finally brought his minions together for a wonderful emotional moment.
Von Nebula: Anyone leave or talk for any reason, and I WILL BASH YOUR CPU'S OUT!
Thunder: Yeah, that's right boss.
Von Nebula: *flipping through channels* WHAT DID I JUST SAY?
Thunder: Yeah, that's right boss.
Von Nebula: Ugh, I give up. Let's just watch whatever's on the next channel.
Axonn: ELEVISED DIRECTLY FROM SPHERUS MAGNA, THE BIONICLE CHANNEL!
FOR MILLENEA, WE HAVE HAD NO TELEVISON AT ALL, BUT WE HAVE DISCOVERED THIS MARVELOUS INVENTION OF THE GREAT BEINGS'!
WITH ALL YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS:

DR. TAHTORAK
Tahtorak: WHAT IS THE ANSWER?
Takadox: Thank you Dr. Tahtorak! ../forum/style_emoticons/default/crying.gif

KARZAHNI GENERAL HOSPITAL
Icarax: I'm gonna need a bigger scapel...
AS WELL AS MANY OTHER PROGRAMS AND MOVIES!
Von Nebula: Excellant! All other channels are filled with Heroes: this is just what we need!

Thanks for reading! It may be less exciting to those who read the original prose, but once I've translated/re-posted all the old episodes I can finally start posting new ones.

[Baron Von Nebula]

Sorry, but if I'm ever going to get to post new episodes, I'll have to give up on the idea of translating prose episodes to script.

Halloween Special
Von Nebula sighed, despite his minions' cheers. Meltdown had spilled acid all over the sofa, and it had taken a while to find a new one to steal. Once this search was completed, the villains somehow got lost and took even longer to get home. They had at last returned home. By the time this odyssey was complete; their new sofa was in the same sorry state as the old one. Von Nebula had anyway moved the sofa into position, ducked behind it as XPlode blew up the popcorn, and turned on the Bionicle Channel, just in time to catch the second half of IRNAKK: THE MOVIE!

Vezok suddenly realized Irnakk was right behind him. "I hate this genre," he muttered as Irnakk turned him into a thought and imagined massive carnivorous lizards. Reidak ran towards the door, but tripped over a carelessly placed skateboard, which ricocheted off the wall and took his head off. "I wanted to do that..." said Irnakk sadly.

The movie continued, with Irnakk destroying several other Skakdi (did anyone else notice that all Skakdi's names contain the letter "k"? Suddenly, Vapour noticed the Unity-Duty-Destiny symbol in the lower left corner of the screen. Thinking it to be a smudge, he dashed over, blocking the television. The villain known for his lousy powers began drowning the television in vapour. Knowing the danger of adding water to electronics, Von Nebula activated his staff to yank Vapour away from the TV. But it was too late. The TV crackled with electricity and exploded. “Hooray!” cheered XPlode, excited as ever by explosions. He was less thrilled when the lights went out.

Rotor screamed and jumped up, his propellers knocking Meltdown and XPlode off the couch. “Stay calm,” said Von Nebula, in as calm a voice as he could manage. Not being a very calm robot in general, this was an intelligible hiss. “Hopefully, the lights will be back on soon,” he added. “Yeah, that’s right boss,” agreed Thunder. “CRASH!” Something collapsed in another room. “The last thing I would EVER ask is what that was,” said Corroder sarcastically. “IRNAAAAAAAAAAK!” Meltdown shouted hysterically. “Don’t get hysterical!” advised Von Nebula. “The author said I am! It must be true!” replied Meltdown. Von Nebula attempted to bash his head, but hit XPlode because of the dark. Believing it to be an attack by Irnakk (RHYME!), XPlode launched all his spikes, destroying the new sofa and blasting the villains to different rooms.
Vapour had been knocked unconscious, and was soon tripped over by a nervous Meltdown. The panic-stricken minion fired acid all over the room.
Von Nebula had been wandering around, trying to find the base’s control room. Hearing the hiss of acid, he instinctively ducked to avoid it.
Rotor had not been so lucky. The acid had covered most of his helmet. Luckily, his armor was resistant to most acids. He was, however, scared to the point of reflexively flying into the ceiling and then into Corroder, who screamed “This is NOT painful” before crashing through three walls.
XPlode had ducked under the charred sofa and was oblivious to all else.
Meanwhile, Von Nebula had finally located the control room. Grateful for having taken an “Evil Lair Repair” course at the nearest recreation center, he quickly was able to turn the lights back on.

The villains finally gathered together and were reduced to sitting on the floor to watch the end of the movie.
Irnakk smashed the door down and backed Thok into a corner. Thok soon began arguing with Irnakk over his existence. He actually won, and Irnakk admitted that he logically did not exist. “Who cares about logic?” he then said, knocking Thok backwards. “I DO!” answered Dr. Logic, a.k.a. Nuju, as he kicked the door down. He had brought with him perhaps the only person who could defeat Irnakk: Vezon. Irnakk, not understanding, hit Vezon with a Zamor sphere, bringing his worst fear to life. Unfortunately for Irnakk, the insane Skakdi’s worst fear was, for some reason that Irnakk didn’t exist. “I LOVE logic,” said Nuju as Irnakk disappeared. The credits played.

“I hate this genre,” concluded the exhausted Von Nebula.

Edited by Baron Von Nebula, Oct 29 2011 - 07:35 PM.

[Baron Von Nebula]

HOSPITAL KARZAHNI
Starring: Icarax as Dr. Icarax!
"I could be smart! If I wanted too..." Icarax said angrily.
Karzahni as Mr. Karzahni!
"Why aren't I the doctor?! I'm smarter than that fool!" Karzahni protested.
Off camera, Helrex signaled to Hydraxon to tranqulerize (hard word) Karzahni if necessary.

A Matoran walked inside the hospital, and was greeted by a Manas. "I have a stomach ache," he explained. The Manas was less than sympathetic, and threw him into Icarax's operating room.
"Don't worry little guy," Icarax assured. "I'll just examine your stomach with my x-ray vision power!"
Before Karzahni or anyone else could stop Icarax, the foolish Makuta had burned through the Matoran with Heat Vision.
"Oh not again!" Icarax moaned.
Karzahni said, "How many times do I have to remind you that you don't have x-ray vision!"
Thinking the question was directed to him, the Manas timidly raised its two claws, symbolizing the number 2.
Karzahni dragged the injured Matoran away, only to return with a shrunken Matoran.
"You're going to give me awesome weapons to make up for this, right?"
Karzahni quickly explained, "Just gave the last weapons to the last one."
Meanwhile, Mazeka was chasing several Skakdi around with a bazooka.

DR. TAHTORAK
After seeing Helrex's cue, Trinuma held up a microphone and introduced the Tahtorak: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND BOHROK AND VAHKI AND MAXILOS AND BATERRA AND MARENDAR AND-"
"All right already!" Helrex inturrupted.
"DR. TAHTORAK!" concluded Trinuma.
"HELLO! IF ANYONE IN THE AUDIENCE KNOWS THE ANSWER, PLEASE SPEAK UP NOW!" the Tahtorak shouted.
Everyone followed the instructions engraved on the giant "APPLAUSE" tablet Trinuma held up.
"FINE THEN, BE THAT WAY. MY FIRST GUEST WILL BE SOME GUY NO ONE REMEMBERS ANYMORE."
Trinuma wheeled in a large glass tank holding water, sand, seaweed, and -oh yeah- Takadox.
"SO TAKADOX, WHY DID YOU BETRAY THE LEAGUE OF SIX KINGDOMS?"
Takadox mouthed the words, but no one could hear him as he was underwater. Helrex nudged Trinuma. He didn't notice. She began tapping his shoulder. He ignored her. Finally, the angry Toa hurled him at a microphone. Trinuma finally understood and placed the microphone in Takadox's tank. This way, everyone heard Takadox scream when the microphone short circuited from the water and electricuted him.
"UM, CAN WE GO TO A COMMERCIAL? BY THE WAY, DURING THE COMMERCIAL, I WOULD LIKE ALL OF YOU TO THINK ABOUT WHETHER YOU KNOW THE ANSWER!"

"Scapel?"
"Here."
"LAZOR?"
"Here."
"Pliars?"
"Pliars?"
"Pliars."
"Here."
"Finished." Icarax took off the Mask of Sanitation that he wore over his regular Kanohi. It prevented harmful viruses from infecting the patient.
"Bionicle doesn't have harmful viruses!" Karzahni protested.
"That's what Kojol thought," Icarax said sadly.
"WILL HE BE ABLE TO APPEAR ON MY SHOW AND BE PUBLICLY HUMILIATED/HAVE HIS MANY PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS SOLVED?" inquired the Tahtorak as he looked into the room through the window/hole Icarax made when he found out that he was dead in the canon storyline.
"Yeah, Takadox will be fine- medically speaking."
"MOST EXCELLANT," the Tahtorak replied as he picked up Takadox's unconcious form and returned to his studio.
Meanwhile, Helrex had gotten desperate as she tried to stall. She ended up showing a video Nocturn had mailed months earlier.

"Nocturn Alley good!" Nocturn said, as a Carapar videotaped (he had been hypnotized to think he was a cameraman).
"Nocturn owner and founder! Proud! Fun! Hungry! Come to fun proud hungry petshop!" Nocturn scaled the wall and entered through the window, as he had forgotton to build a door.
"I give you loving pet!" he said as he fired a vampire squid at Hydraxon, who had actually come to arrest Nocturn for not complying with building regulations. Hydraxon did not think Nocturn had been trying to provide him with a loving pet, so he shredded the squid with a dagger.
"Another satisfied customer!" Nocturn explained as Gali smashed through the wall and attacked Hydraxon for hurting an animal. However, her attacks had little affect on Hydraxon, who realized the hole counted as a door and left. Nocturn walked out.
"Nice stores! Ackar's Used Car Dealership! Kualas's Air Conditioners! Gadunka Donuts! Everyone Runs From Gadunka!"
Nocturn entered Gadunka Donuts.
"Hello, I would like-" the Matoran customer was cut off when Gadunka swallowed him whole.

Luckily, everyone was spared when Tahtorak returned with Takadox.
"SO TAKADOX, WHY ARE YOU HERE?"
"{C}{C}i'm a traitor."
"WHAT?"
"I'm a traitor."
"WHO DID YOU BETRAY?"
"The other Barraki."
"TELL ME MORE!"
Meanwhile, Helrex was arguing with Tobduk.
"But why can't I knock crazy people out?! I'm better at it than Trinuma!"
Helrex pressed a button on a remote and Botar's replacement teleported in with a television.
It showed a familiar scenario:
The Skakdi laughed insanely as an audience member tripped and broke his neck.
"Tobduk, knock him out!" Helrex urged. Tobduk whipped out a bazooka and blew the Skakdi's head off.
And then another scene:
Tobduk bragged to another Order member at lunch: "AND THEN, I BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH HIS OWN SEVERED HEAD!"
And of course:
Helrex gave Tobduk his orders: "OK, we need to make sure no one knows where Artahka is. Here, take this amnesia-" Tobduk ran off, grabbing various weapons off the wall.

Helrex said, "Whenever you're told to do anything, you end up killing everyone!"
"It's not my fault. The Visorak-"
"SO WHY DO YOU KILL EVERYONE ELSE!!!"
"I'm just a little angry."
"TAHTORAK SHOULD BE SOLVING YOUR PROBLEMS!!!"

"WELL, I THINK THIS ORIGINATED IN YOUR CHILDHOOD," the Tahtorak said sagely as Takadox began explaining how he was raised by cockroaches.

[fishers64]

Good to see this topic back, and I like the improvements, especially on the last chapter. Keep up the good work.

[Baron Von Nebula]

“SO HOW DID YOU KNOW THE SHADOWED ONE? EVERYONE IS DISCUSSING HOW, AFTER HIS RECENT ARREST, HE USED HIS ONE PHONE CALL ON YOU?” inquired the Tahtorak.
Icarax explained: “Well, we go way back. Let me explain:
“We Makuta were young back then. We hadn’t even moved to Destral yet. We lived in-or rather under- Metru Nui back then. Mata Nui actually paid attention to us. Of course, the same couldn’t be said for The Shadowed One’s homeland, a land of shadows and ice.”
The Shadowed One’s father said proudly: “Wonderful! He is already so tall!” He then dived aside as The Shadowed One accidentally destroyed half the cave/home with his eyebeams.
“What was THAT!”
The Shadowed One’s mom tried to help, “I’m sure he’ll grow out of it.”
“No son of MINE will have incredibly powerful eyebeams!”
Soon enough, the Shadowed One had a protosteel blindfold.
Meanwhile, the Makuta were all at work in a cute workshop. Miserix walked around, overseeing the rahi creation. He reached the end of the table and froze as he saw Icarax sawing the heads and tails off of Spiriah’s rahi (he wanted to sever their heads but couldn’t tell the difference).
“WHAT are you doing?!” Miserix demanded. Icarax replied sheepishly,
“I just wanted to practice for my future career as a doctor.”
“A doctor?!”
“That or an executioner, but I hear doctors have a higher salary.”
“Makuta aren’t either! Makuta have to love everyone and try to help people!”
“BREAK TIME!!!” Vamprah screamed happily (this was back when he still spoke). All the other Makuta ran out of the room. Icarax started to leave, but Miserix shoved him back into his chair.
“Not you! You’re not leaving until you’ve made some rahi like you’re supposed to!” As he left, Miserix added: “OR YOU’RE FIRED!”
Icarax mumbled to himself: “You can’t fire me! I quit!” He then jumped out the window.
Meanwhile, in a land of shadows and ice, The Shadowed One was having some problems with his social life. He had soon torn off the blindfold in frustration and disintegrated most of his species. As the only survivors were hiding, he was unable to participate in any recreational activities and wandered off bitterly. He ran into Icarax, who was half buried in snow. They had barely spoken before being chased off by a mutant Frostelus (Icarax didn’t have any clue how to use his powers yet). And yes, even at the present he has little clue. The other Makuta were learning how to use their powers while Icarax was getting stepped on by the Frostelus. The Shadowed One would have disintegrated it, but he was tired out from his earlier power usage. Luckily, the pair saw a hulking gold and blue warrior.
“Let’s ask this guy for help!” Icarax suggested. The Shadowed One was more suspicious,
“How do we know he won’t attack us?” Icarax replied calmly,
“He’s blue. Everyone that’s blue always nice!”
“I can list a lot of blue um... foes.
” Before the argument could continue longer, Ancient noticed them.
“Hello, do you want to pay me to kill someone?” Icarax almost told Ancient that they had no money, but the Shadowed One stopped him. “Oh, we left our money… in the bank.”
“Which bank?”
“The… um… Snow Bank?”
The Tahtorak chose this moment to interrupt Icarax’s story telling, saying, “THAT WAS A LAME PUN!”
Icarax ignored him and continued.
Ancient was suspicious, but agreed to escort the Shadowed One and Icarax back to civilization. However, they ended up crossing the sea and being stranded on an island.
“ZYGLAK!” Icarax screamed as several Zyglak pounced out of the bushes.
“Thanks for the info, Makuta Statetheobviousarax."

[Baron Von Nebula]

“SO HOW DID YOU DEFEAT THE ZYGLAK?” asked the Tahtorak. Icarax explained: “We didn’t have to. This was back before they were violent.”
“But Zyglak aren’t purple!” demanded an indignant Subterranean, who was in the audience and could never hear well do to his incredibly advanced fluffy pink earmuffs. Icarax ignored him and continued with his story.
The Zyglak began to sing. The Shadowed One almost disintegrated all of them because he hates music, but Ancient held him back because he loves it. Because of this, the three ended up listening to the Zyglaks’ song for several hours. Luckily, Toa Orde showed up to calm the Zyglak down. Fifteen minutes later, Orde, Icarax, Ancient, and The Shadowed One had ducked behind a boulder as various daggers and spears were hurled at them. "Let's charge them!" exclaimed Orde. "I'll go first!" All four began to charge, but Ancient and The Shadowed One treacherously held back at the last second. Meanwhile, Orde teleported off the island. Icarax stumbled back behind the boulder and sat down, plucking out a few of the daggers and spears stuck in him. Luckily, the numerous injuries gave him an idea. Before he could tell the others this however, the Zyglak devoured the rock. The trio ran to the frozen shore and began desperately trying to hack off a bit of ice to float away on. They succeeded, and the Zyglak halted their pursuit, despite the fact that they were amphibious. The trio soon found out what had scared the Zyglak off as the giant Frostelus bashed them all with... another boulder.
The Shadowed One awoke to find his legs frozen to a cave ceiling. The Frostelus had somehow stuck him there and then conveniently left. But, rather inconveniently, it returned and prepared to eat him.
It is said that future tyrants should be served with a cream sauce, but this Frostelus disagreed. It prepared a huge black cauldron, filled with boiling water. This was placed directly underneath The Shadowed One. He suddenly noticed a staff on the cave floor, partially frozen. He dramatically stretched his hand out and tried to pull it to him with the Force.
I don’t know if anyone reading this can use the Force. I can’t. If you can, you should stop wasting your time reading this and go solve the world’s problems or something. Just a word of advice. But for everyone else left: don’t bother trying. You can’t pull objects into your hand with your mind. It’s just not possible. It is, however, entirely possible for someone to throw the object at you and for you to catch it. This was the case for The Shadowed One, as Ancient charged into the cave and hurled the staff towards him. He caught it, and, realizing it had a power, fired. The Frostelus was encased in protodermis from the waist down, enabling Icarax to climb up and remove its head.
“You know Icarax, I think you might be a great doctor!” The Shadowed One said. Icarax asked,
“Really?” The Shadowed One laughed and replied, “Only in Karzahni!”
“SO THAT IS WHY YOU WORK IN KARZAHNI?” asked the Tahtorak. Icarax began telling that story. Apparently, as everything is backwards in Karzahni, the locals considered him to be the greatest surgeon to ever live. His attention to detail and care for the Hippocratic Oath were unmatched. Icarax graduated the Karzahni Institute for the Culinary Arts with flying colors, and earned his place as the greatest (and only) surgeon at Hospital Karzahni.
“SO BECAUSE THE SHADOWED ONE INSPIRED YOUR CAREER, YOU FEEL OBLIGATED TO HELP PROVE HIS INNOCENCE?”
“Yes, and I’ve hired the greatest private investigator to ever live!”

“I’ll take the case,” said Vezon as he scratched his back with a spear. “But I want some severed heads to decorate my wall. And a carpet to cover that spot in my living room would be nice too.”

[Baron Von Nebula]

Trinuma walked into the spotlight slowly and dramatically. "Since we arrived on Spherus Magna, the Order has labeled some villains, like Karzahni, as dangerous and imprisoned them. His prison happened to be a poorly made repetitive sitcom. Everyone's worst nightmare. Unfortunately, we didn't have enough space for all the evil and dubbed some villains as "Mostly Harmless" and let them wander around with satelite cameras tracking them. Vezon was one of these."

Vezon ran down the street, halting traffic, jumping over coffee tables, and stealing coffee. He was on a mission to do the impossible: make The Shadowed One look like a nice person. Luckily, he had heard some strange rumors, and saw his opportunity.

Jerbraz hated this new idea. So people could see him, Helrex suggested he wear bandages, a trenchcoat, and sunglasses. Now everyone was giving him wierd looks. It was debatable whether this was better than being looked through. He was staying at a small inn, and more specifically, was sitting at a table in an even smaller corner of the inn's restaurant area. Jerbraz sighed and bought a newspaper, which had his mission instructions hidden inside it. "Jerbraz, we think we know someone who thinks they know someone who thinks they know that they know something about The Shadowed One's past. Their codename is Agent Quill, and they are waiting for you at-" Jerbraz suddenly turned around and noticed Vezon reading over his shoulder. Vezon quickly pretended to be preoccupied by punching the person next to him.

Unfortunately for Vezon, this person was Gladiator. Jerbraz still recognized Vezon, saying "Vezon, this is madness!"
"THIS IS SPARTA!" roared Gladiator as he kicked Jerbraz through the wall. Vezon pointed out, "You know, gladiators were Roman, not Greek." Gladiator seemed confused: "Seriously? I'll have to go think of a new personality then." He left.

"Agent Quill, eh?" Vezon thought to himself. "This is something I should further investigate." He ran off to investigate, but not before eating the breakfast Jerbraz had ordered.

Vezon stalked down the streets of New Atero, and finally found what he was looking for. A banner was hanging from a restaurant’s roof, saying “BARBEQUE”. “Hmm… what was that guy’s name? Spike? Point? Ah! That’s it! Agent Barb! He must be in there!” Vezon dashed into the restaurant, and was only temporarily delayed by the vortex of death also known as a revolving door.

After entering, he also noticed another sign, for "Free Wi-Fi!" He walked up to the counter and placed his order: "Hello, I would like some of the free Wi-Fi."
"What?"
"The Wi-Fi, I believe you advertised that it is free. I'll have some."
"Get out or I'll call the cops!"
"Ha, you're bluffing."
"You're right, I am," said the Glatorian cashier pulled out a Cordak blaster. Vezon grabbed the blaster, accidentaly firing several shots into the ground. He screamed as he realized that he had just drilled through the floor.

Meanwhile, down below, several shadowy figures were plotting. "The PLAN must succeed, or millennea of work and thousands of lives will have been wasted." "Don't fear, brother, the Plan will not fail. No one suspects a thing, and soon, the blame will fall on the One called Shadowed, as we finally take our revenge and seize control of the universe!"
The shadowy figures laughed maniacally as the world above suspected nothing.

Edited by Baron Von Nebula, Dec 27 2011 - 02:14 PM.

[Baron Von Nebula]

This arc is my favorite, so far.

The Thunder Thief
Von Nebula scowled and shouted, “WHAT’S TAKING SO LONG?! WHERE ARE MY ROBOTIC BAGELS!?” He had long since sent Thunder and XPlode on a mission to steal the finest Robotic Bagels on the market, hand-grown by Robotic Hands as Robotic Grain, then ground into Robotic Dough and baked into Robotic Bagels. He had heard the crash of their transport arriving, but the pair seemed to be having trouble operating the Robotic Toaster. Von Nebula, Rotor, Vapour, and Meltdown were gathered around the dinner table waiting. Corroder, meanwhile, was on Cygnia, having what he (in his backwards manner of speaking) would describe as “a fun job”.
Cygnia was inhabited by millions of highly aggressive lizards who could kill anything except each other with a single glance. It was his mission to infiltrate a specific Cygian’s stomach and retrieve the Robotic Hamburger it had stolen from Von Nebula. It would be incredibly difficult just to find this specific Cygian, as all the lizards are exactly identical.
Von Nebula wasn’t even planning on eating the Robotic Hamburger. He hadn’t even meant for Corroder to go get it. It seems that, despite his constant use of sarcasm, Corroder is incapable of detecting it in others. Anyways, XPlode finally walked over with the Toasted Robotic Bagels. Von Nebula and his minions slathered the Toasted Robotic Bagels with Robotic Jelly that was painfully extracted from Robotic Jellyfish. Rotor stood up to clean his Robotic Plate, but Von Nebula stopped him.
“There’s a note on your back!”
“What? Where? Get it off!” Meltdown and XPlode began trying to tug the note off, but were knocked back by Rotor’s flailing propellers. A slight breeze-
“Breez? Where?! Prepare for battle! Arm the harpoons! Buy some Robotic Air Fresheners! Heroes are attacking!”
The shouting Meltdown’s mouth was magically transformed into a zipper and zipped shut. As I was saying, the note blew over to Von Nebula who caught it. He read it aloud:
“Dear Sir or Madam, we regret to inform you that we have stolen your Thunder.”
“What? Stolen my thunder? Not that I can remember!”
Meltdown cut in: “ Boss, Thunder was capitalized. I think it means Thunder the henchman.”
“Impossible! Thunder’s right here! Right, Thunder?”
“Yeah that’s right boss. Yeah that’s right boss. Yeah that’s right boss. Yeah that’s right boss” sounded the malfunctioning tape recorder.
“What the-?” Von Nebula touched the cardboard cutout of Thunder and it collapsed. He rounded on XPlode,
“XPlode! How did you not notice THIS?!”
“But it’s so realistic! Besides, how could I have known that ANYONE would want to steal Thunder?!”
Von Nebula grumbled and continued reading:
“If you ever want to see Thunder again, you must give in to our demands, which we will tell you at a later time. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. LOL. Lots of love, The Mysterious Kidnapper People.”
“Thunder’s gone. What will we do? What CAN we do?” Rotor said in a hushed tone.

Tahu wasn’t having a great day, but the shadowy figures from the last episode were. Don’t worry: these guys are separate from the other Mysterious Kidnapper People. Anyways, Tahu was running for his life for once. That was a first: anyone else remember a time Tahu retreated, or even ran at all? But few would have had any hope when confronted with this threat. He was being chased by what he recognized as the Mata Nui Robot. But it was horribly changed: its battle scars were repaired, and its head replaced. This new head was hideous: three pairs of mandibles, two huge staring eyes: oh! It looked like an insect magnified millions of times. But worst of all was the attachment of an extra limb, which the creature proclaimed in a voice heard across all of Spherus Magna, like it was the Answer the Tahtorak constantly sought:
“BEWARE MY STINGER TAIL!”

[Baron Von Nebula]

Von Nebula's Stolen Thunder
Von Nebula and his minions were running for their lives. After the kidnappers had not called back, he had decided it would be best if he began searching for Thunder himself. After posting some fliers and even an ad on the back of Robotic Milk Cartons, Von Nebula remembered Corroder. He had opened a wormhole to Cygnia, and he and his minions arrived in the dense (artificial) rainforest that covered the planet. Remembering the Cygnian's power, they had covered themselves in the artificial leaves. If the leaves suddenly wilted and turned brown, that meant a Cygnian was looking at them. Von Nebula grumbled:
"How this place is still standing I'll never understand." An engineer had once explained this to him, but it still made no sense. Suddenly, a green blur streaked towards the group. The others scattered, but Von Nebula held his ground, thinking that he would already be dead if the thing was a Cygnian. It was, as he had expected, Corroder. Opening a portal home, all the villains ran into it as the entire planet exploded.
"Why did it explode?" Meltdown questioned. Von Nebula answered gruffly:
"Why would it not explode?" Meltdown found himself unable to answer this, and ceased his questioning. Von Nebula began checking his messages.
"Hello, this is the kidnapper or kidnappers. In case you haven't noticed, we are very mysterious and vague. It is impossible to guess our identity, so don't try. I'll try calling again later."
"END OF MESSAGE, YOU DOGS. NOW PRESS ONE, OR BE CRUSHED LIKE THE INSECT SCUM YOU ARE!"
Meltdown complained, "That messaging system still creeps me out a little." Von Nebula said,
"I told you, it's just a recording."
The phone suddenly rang: "PICK UP THE PHONE OR DIE! PICK UP THE PHONE OR DIE! PICK UP THE PHONE OR DIE!"
Von Nebula picked it up.
"Hello. This is the kidnappers!" Von Nebula interrupted:
"So you're confirming there are several of you?"
Hushed whispers could be heard rather clearly:
"They know there's several of us! What should I say?"
"Tell him how scary and fearsome we are!"
"Remind him that we're mysterious!"
"Quiet you cool dudes." This speaker seemed to be the most intelligent. Whoever they were, they whispered instructions to the first speaker, so Von Nebula could not hear.
"Um... Oh right! I'm a kidnapper, so I am very bad. You can't place any value on anything I say, so we can still be one person."
"I heard you guys talking to each other."
"Oh, that was my stomach."
"Your stomach."
"Yes, I have been, um, sick. WITH EVIL!!!!!"
Meltdown interrupted: "Not evil!"
"Yes, EVIL! If you ever want to see Thunder again, you must give us these things: FIRST: we want a hundred gallons of ROOT BEER!"
Rotor cut in, saying "Not root beer!"
"Yes, ROOT BEER! SECOND: We want every Avatar: The Last Airbender LEGO set ever made!"
"NO! That's impossible! You're insane!" XPlode shouted.
"That may be so, but you'd better give me it!" There seemed to be some argument between the kidnappers.
"OK, fine. We also want the secret to your gravity staff or something useless like that. OK, see you later! You'd better meet us, because I swear to never call you back again!"
Von Nebula shouted: "WAIT! Where are you? Where are we supposed to give this stuff to?"
But the kidnapper seemed to have forgotten this, and had already hung up.
The villains looked at each other sadly.



Meanwhile, Vezon had landed in what seemed to be a colossal filing cabinet.
"Wow, this is so big! It could hold the entire history of the planet!"
"Oh, but it does!" said a creepy Zesk wearing glasses. "The entire history of what you know, all explained. We planned it, you know. Years of pretending to be wild beasts, sacrificing our own, all to the great purpose of universal domination. When the Great Beings changed us, they did more than they thought. At last, we could see! How to make a new substance. How to hide it in the planet's core. How all you FOOLS would react, ending in a massive robot being left to rot in the desert. While pretending to be stupid animals, we were building deep undergroud: a new, beautiful head for this engine of victory! A tail, modeled after our own, that would strike fear into all. We would use this power to conquer worlds! Oh dear, I just explained our entire plan, didn't I." Vezon assured him:
"Don't worry, it's fine. But what about Malum? Does he know?"
"No. He has no idea. But he was so nice to us that we decided to spare him. He's off trying a task he'll never complete."

"Okay, I can do this, I can do this," said Malum as he rolled a boulder up a hill. When he reached the top, it rolled back down.
"AHH! WHY DOES THIS SEEM SO FAMILIAR!"

"That's nice," said Vezon as he picked the Zesk up and stuffed it in a filing cabinet. He ran over to a computer, opened up "EVIL PLAN", and began printing the entire thing. "I just have to show this to the judge, and The Shadowed One will be proved innocent, a victim of circumstance. And so will the Makuta, and Karzahni, and everyone else!" Vezon froze.
"And that includes me."

[Baron Von Nebula]

Objection!
Vezon, never one to care about the welfare for others, unplugged the computer after the printing was finished. What he did not realize was that the computer was a part of a memory erasing system that the Vorox had implemented so they would make everyone else willing slaves. It seems that Teridax somehow inherited some of their ideas for his own Plan. Anyways, an alarm went off:
“MEMORY ERASER IN FIVE… FOUR… THREE…” But none of this registered to Vezon. He was already distracted by the helmets stacked in the corner that would prevent the Vorox’s own memories from being erased.
“Ooh, pretty!” He put one on, just as a wave of energy passed across Spherus Magna. It had been specially designed to erase any memory of the Vorox’s evil genius. The modified Mata Nui Robot froze. Not in ice. I mean it just stopped moving. That’s the problem with- I’m rambling. Back to topic.
The robot stood still briefly, but then crashed down backwards, the tail twisting and tearing off the new head before collapsing. The robot thrashed briefly, ending up in the pose Teridax had left it in. The Vorox who had been piloting the thing had forgotten that they were evil geniuses and degenerated back to the wild animals they had pretended to be for so long.
But Vezon didn’t care. Seizing the stack of files, he dashed out and leaped away as the entire complex exploded awesomely. There is no reason why it did this: the explosion was just a hallucination on the part of Vezon to make things more dramatic.

The next day, court opened. The Shadowed One wasn’t there, being considered too dangerous. This probably is a violation of his rights, but the Order ran this, not Toa. Vezon was late, and raced against imaginary rabbits to the courthouse, arriving just before the judge. Trinuma called out:
“All rise for Honorable Judge Hammon.”
Hammon entered, dressed in flowing black robes. He was a member of Axonn’s species with silver and brown armor and a Kanohi Kiril. As he sat down, Vezon noticed that he carried a ridiculously oversized hammer.
After various court proceedings, Vezon was asked to present his case. He gasped and banged his chin on the table, realizing that he had forgotten the files at his apartment in Nocturn Alley.

Meanwhile, it was very windy in Nocturn Alley. A strong gust caught the papers left on an open windowsill next to a cooling pie, and the papers were blown across the street even as Thok stole the pie. Directly across the street, Nocturn was taking care of his pets.
“Hmmm, new shipment of Shadow Leeches! Need paper for cage.” The files blew through the window and were caught in his spines.
“Paper! Thank you Tren Krom!” He tore the precious records apart and poured the shreds into the cage that would soon hold a species that is supposed to be extinct.

“I would like to call… um… Honorable Judge Hammon to the stand!” Hammon, with some difficult, removed himself from the chair that was too small for him and moved to the witness stand. Glancing at the small stool, he decided to remain standing.
“Honorable Judge Hammon, is it true that you are actually a pig farmer?” Vezon questioned. Hammon was one of those guys with no sense of humor.
“FOOL! I GAIN POWER FROM A INSTRUMENT OF WAR, NOT SWINE!”
“Ahh, so you are a clarinetist?”
This was going to be a long trial.
When Vezon failed to have any real evidence, the prosecutor, Jerbraz, began to speak. He called up many witnesses, from a dripping Tyrant who had a fishhook sticking out of his shoulder to Turaga Dume. Besides occasionally leaping up to shout “OBJECTION!”, Vezon failed to offer any kind of defense. The various Dark Hunters seated in the back began glancing at each other nervously. Some were even glaring threateningly at Vezon. He was unfazed. At the end, Hammon was about to give a the inevitable sentence,
Vezon suddenly pronounced: “I’d like to call Darkness to the stand!”
The black-armored Dark Hunter silently made his way to the witness stand. Everyone shivered uncomfortably under the gaze of his blood red eyes.
“Is it true that your job was to watch the Shadowed One and kill him if he ever did anything good?”
“You are correct,” Darkness hissed softly. He glanced around, as if uncomfortable with being the center of attention.
“So the Shadowed One is still alive, meaning that he cannot have done anything good and is clearly the ruthless tyrant the prosecution claims he is?”
“Well, um, yes.” Darkness seemed completely confused by Vezon asking this.
“I rest my case!”
Hammon said, “You do realize you just proved your client was guilty?”
“Curse you Tren Krom!"
"Silence!"
"YOU WILL NEVER SILENCE THE TRUTH!"
Hammon rapped his hammer on the desk, crushing a nice lamp into dust. "YOU, SIR, ARE OUT OF ORDER!"
"I am NOT out of order; the vending machine down the hallway is out of order!"
Hammon sighed, and covered his face with his hand. When he looked up, his face best resembled .
"I pronounce the Shadowed One guilty of all charges."
“I’ll go get him,” said Trinuma.
“I’ll come with you,” Vezon said, glancing at the Dark Hunters scowling, clawing the bench, and drawing weapons security should have confiscated.

[Baron Von Nebula]

Preston Stormer led the three rookies down the hallways of the Factory, flanked by Bulk and Stringer (in case those rookies tried to make a break for it)

Stormer: Now, the Hero Cores are-
Breez: Cheese!
Surge: lol
Stormer: No. As I was saying, the Hero Cores are-
Breez: Pie!
Surge: rofl
Stormer: NO! Be quiet, you rookies!
Breez: Cookies?
All rookies: COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES!
It took an hour before Stormer could calm them down, and that was by "confiscating" cookies from a passing hero, who had just saved the entire Cookieton system from the evil Oatmeal Villains.
Stormer: Happy now?
All rookies: *chewing on their cookies* Yes.
Stormer: Good. (begins speaking very quickly, to avoid interruption) The hero cores are ancient artifacts-
Furno: Like your face!
Everyone, besides Stormer, even Bulk and Stringer, burst out laughing.
Stormer: SHUT UP! That was immature and not funny! No true hero would laugh at that!
Bulk: Actually, I thought it was pretty-
Stormer: SILENCE! Traitor! You must wear the Cone of Shame!
Bulk: I do not like the Cone of Shame.

And that is why, despite the obvious mayhem that follows them everywhere, Von Nebula and his minions are never caught.
Now, back to Vezon's story.

Trinuma and Vezon stepped out of the Thornatus. Well, Trinuma stepped out. Vezon had been tied to one of the back wheels.
"I think I swallowed a bug!"
Vezon suddenly swelled up as Click transformed into a shield.
After Trinuma somehow fixed that, he finally noticed the prison fortress was nowhere in site.
"I don't get it! It should be right here!"
"Maybe you're not looking hard enough?"
"No! We must be lost. You can't miss this thing. It's five hundred bio tall, made of solid protosteel, and filled with a thousand guards! All for one prisoner. All payed for by taxpayers. I guess we took a wrong turn." Trinuma began walking back to the Thornatus.
"Wait! What's this?"
Vezon was bent over, examining something on the ground. Trinuma hurried over. It appeared to be the fortress's floor.
"Look! Over there! There's two bricks left!"
"What? But no. This is impossible. He can't have-" Trinuma and Vezon abruptly toppled over as they were wrapped in protodermis.
"Destroyed the prison?" finished the Shadowed One. "But don't worry, I have no need to waste energy ending your pathetic lives. But you, Vezon? You tried to prove me innocent?"
Vezon managed to nod, unable to speak in astonishment.
"Well then. You are a fool. But a loyal fool, the best kind. Now, give me the Ignika and we'll call it even."
"What? The Ignika? What's that?"
"You moron, it's the Mask of Life, the mask that kills most wearers and curses anyone who touches it. The mask stuck to the back of your empty head!"
"Oh, that thing. I lost that ages ago, in like 2006. How did you not know that?"
"Blame the writers: I so should have had more appearences. I've been missing since 2009 now."
And grumbling to himself about this injustice, the Shadowed One spun around and, climbing into Trinuma's Thornatus, he drove away.
"Hey, that's mine! Come back! Stop!" Trinuma shouted as he finally regained his speech. He tore the protodermis apart, and dashed off after the Shadowed One.

Vezon struggled a little with the protodermis, but couldn't break it.
"Oh come on! Guys? Guys! Someone help me!

And that concludes the tale of the Shadowed One's imprisonment.

But what is Von Nebula doing about Thunder? Watch this comedy to see the exciting showdown between Von Nebula and the kidnapper(s), in Where There's Smoke There's Fire!

[Baron Von Nebula]

Where there's Smoke there's Fire

Von Nebula continued trying to find some clue as to the kidnapper(s)'(s) location and had long since sent Corroder to "borrow" what they had demanded (LEGO Avatar and root beer, for those of you who can't remember). The other minions were busy writing a song for Thunder's funeral.
XPlode: He's Thunderrr!
Others: Thunder.
XPlode: Yeah Thunderrrr!
Others: Thunder.
Rotor: He's the dumbest bot in town, he'll turn your annoying smile into a nice frown.
Others: He's Thunderrr!
Xplode: Thunder.
Meltdown: Mess with him you've bitten off more than you can chew 'cause his left hand weighs more than you!
Others: Thunder. Thunder.
Rotor: He's Thunder.
An explosion XPlode set up goes off as they pose dramatically.
"Oh no a smudge!" Vapour shouted as he ran over to clean up.
"Ugh, you killed it!" The others criticized Vapor, perhaps correctly.
"You never contribute anything! All you do is clean smudges!"
Vapour cried, and running away, made sure to clean a few smudges with his tears.

Meanwhile, Corroder had returned and was reporting to Von Nebula.
"There's a ton of Avatar sets left, and the galaxy's not in the middle of a root beer drought!"
"Can't you find any?"
"People are not guarding their root beer with their lives."
"So it's that bad?"
"I heard there isn't civil wars in some planets over it. What about your staff?"
"I told you, there's no way I'm giving that secret up! It'll be the end of the universe: these guys are clearly more competent than us, so there's no limit to what they can do with it."
Corroder conceded, then added: "Oh yeah, and we didn't get a letter."
"It better not be another scholarship. I don't need anyone to teach ME how to be evil."
"Nah, I think it's not a coupon for fast food or something."
Before Corroder could blink, Von Nebula had snatched the letter from him.
"Wait a minute: this is from the kidnappers, saying they have Thunder! It must have been delayed in the mail!"
"Then it's not garbage."
"Exactly what you said, not what you meant. There's a return address!"

Von Nebula and his minions leaped through the portal and came out behind a boulder.
"So why didn't we just teleport right inside?" asked Rotor.
"We don't have the ransom, so we'll have to rescue Thunder. This is more inconspicuous." explained Von Nebula.
That said, he lead them around the boulder, where they all donned various disquises before entering the fast food place.
Suddenly, Von Nebula realized what was wrong: the walls were oozing green slime! But that's normal for that kind of restaurant. What was really weird was that there was no one inside and the lights were out.
"IT'S A-" But before Rotor could finish quoting Admiral Ackbar, something heavy hit Von Nebula on the head and he was knocked out.

When he woke up, the first think he noticed was that he was tied back-to-back with XPlode. Then Von Nebula noticed they were hanging above a giant bubbling grease fryer. Looking around, he saw the others in a similar situation, unconcious.
Thunder he didn't see.
"Ah, he awakens!" Von Nebula saw the speaker was red with a large green eye. "Drilldozer, wake up!"
"Huh? Oh. I'll go get the boss," said the silver fiend sleepily as he lumbered off.
Meltdown had woken up, and begun struggling.
"HELP! HELP! HELP!"
While he was being hysterical, Von Nebula noticed that their weapons were piled on a table not far away.
Meltdown had awoken Rotor, who he was tied to. "Stop it you moron! We'll fall if you don't stop!"
The Fire Lord and Jetbug entered the room, led by Drilldozer. The Fire Lord was tall, tall enough to look the upside down Von Nebula in the eyes.
"So, the infamous Von Nebula, caught like a fly in my web," he said softly.
"Hah, save the insect jokes for the Bug Villains when they come out!"
"That seems pretty unlikely. I think the Mistika covered the whole bug thing pretty well," Nitroblast answered.
"Quiet, fool," The Fire Lord picked up Von Nebula's staff and came back, standing close enough that Von Nebula wished he had poison fangs like Antroz.
"Now, how do I work this?" the Fire Lord asked.
"By pressing R or L!" The Fire Lord was clearly not amused, and pulled a lever, bringing Von Nebula's gang closer to the grease.
"How do I activate the teleportation function!"
"Has anyone ever told you that you look like a Balrog, only uglier!"
The Fire Lord lowered Von Nebula's gang even closer to the grease.
"I don't even need your opinion. I could just fry you and then look it up on the Internet."
XPlode had awakened in time to listen to this conversation, or rather, exchange of threats.
"Do you expect to get away with this?"
Before the Fire Lord could answer, Von Nebula cut him off: "No, he expects you to die!"
At first Von Nebula's minions were curious as to why he did this, but then the Fire Lord appeared to go insane.
"NO! CURSE YOU!!! I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL MY LIFE TO USE THAT LINE, AND YOU JUST STOLE MY CHANCE!!!!"
The Fire Lord reached for the lever, even as several other things happened.
Vapour woke up, saw a smudge on the wall, and easily tore threw the rope in his zeal. This freed Corroder, who leaped away from the grease and clung to Von Nebula's rope with his feet as he shredded their bonds with his claws.
Rotor activated his propellor, severing the rope and lifting him in the air, with Meltdown still tied to him. He spun around and almost crashed into Drilldozer, who had fallen asleep yet again. One of his spikes nicked the rope, allowing the pair to break free.
Von Nebula, XPlode, and Corroder leaped down, with XPlode and Von Nebula headed for their weapons and Corroder jumping on the Fire Lord's back.
Rotor had entered into battle with Jetbug, who was able to easily outfly him. Rotor, however, had more powerful weapons and kept him on the run.
Meltdown grabbed at Drilldozer with his tentacle, but Drilldozer blocked with his drill, and spinning it, easily threw Meltdown across the room. Meltdown smacked into the wall and slid to the ground, unconcious.
XPlode was furiously fighting Nitroblast. Whenever he tried to use his spikes, Nitroblast would intercept them with a blast of flame. XPlode groaned, "This could go on forever!"
And indeed it seemed to. The Fire Lord had thrown Corroder off and was dueling Von Nebula. Von Nebula easily sucked up his flames, but was unable to find an opportunity for a counterattack. Something had to happen to break this balance, and it did.
Thunder came up behind Nitroblast and screamed something new, something brilliant: "THUNDER PUNCH!"
The power of the THUNDER PUNCH blasted Nitroblast backwards onto a lever. He was unconcious and thus didn't see what the lever did.
Jetbug finally blasted Rotor down when a giant mechanical foot came out of the ceiling and squashed him like the bug he is.
The Fire Lord looked around. Drilldozer was asleep, and his other minions all defeated. To Von Nebula's surprise, the Fire Lord began chuckling. This grew into insane laughter, as he whipped out a remote with a large red button on it. Von Nebula realized what it was, and, opening up a portal back home, he and his minions dashed back through it as the building exploded.
"Are they...?" Meltdown didn't finish.
Von Nebula answered, "Gone for good? Sleeping with the lava eels? I don't think so. Somehow, I don't think that's the last we'll see of those guys."


Anyone catch the MAFEEAME reference at some point?

[Baron Von Nebula]

Von Nebula was actually happy. With Thunder rescued, his life could finally return to equilibrium. Now he could enjoy this disharmony of others' lives on TV. With that, he flipped to the Bionicle Channel.

Maybe I'll switch between script and prose from now on, just to confuse you because I'm THAT evil.

Helrex: Now, introducing an Order Member with a less than sterling, record... BRUTAKA!
Trinuma: Where is he?
Both look suspiciously at Tobduk.
Tobduk: I didn't kill him! I swear on the life of my cousin who I killed!
Axxon: You silly rabbits, he's still on that mission.
Helrex: Which mission?
Axxon: The one you said was the most important ever!
Tobduk: But you said MY mission to kill Kojol was the most important ever!
Hydraxon: I thought guarding the Pit was the most important mission ever!
But Helrex was busy.
Helrex: Now go, Jerbraz. Do not fail us, for this is the most important mission ever.
Axxon: I'm sensing a conspiracy here.
Helrex: Blame Mata Nui for setting a bad example.

Mata Nui accepted the donut from Gadunka.
Mata Nui: This is a great donut! You are a true Toa! And I don't say that to everyone!
All Glatorian: Yes he does...
Mata Nui: Curses!
Mata Nui activated his grappling hook and latched on to a nearby building.
Mata Nui: You've gotta get one of these! And I've gotta get some of that!
Mata Nui snatched up several donuts and grappled away.
Glatorian: This monster is a Toa too?!
Gadunka roared and, opening its mouth, blasted the Glatorian halfway across Spherus Magna with a jet of water from the elemental powers it just got.

Meanwhile, Brutaka had returned.
Axxon: Well? How'd it go? Did you defeat the Confederacy Of Ominous Kidnappers Initiating Evil?!
Brutaka: Well...
Brutaka posed awesomely.
Brutaka: Let's just say COOKIE's been crumbled.
Helrex: Good, whatever. It wasn't really that important. Now, you're going to be on TV and take tours to humorous alternate universes.
Brutaka: Umm... Nope! None of those! How about I get a real mission?
Axxon: What about that universe you told me about where left-handed and right-handed people are in a constant war?
Helrex: Sounds great! Take them there!
Brutaka: Who's they?
Vezon charged into the room.
Vezon: I'VE SOLVED THE MYSTERY OF HOW TO TIE SHOES!!!
Karzahni: I already taught you to do that!
Brutaka: Wait! How did you get here?
Icarax: I could ask you the same thing.
Nocturn: I bring pets for sick chickens!
As it dawned on Brutaka that Botar's replacement must have teleported him as a prank, Nocturn began firing vampire squids at random, one hitting Brutaka's Olmak, which began glowing.
Brutaka: You activated the mask! I can't control it!
Karzahni: Didn't that thing get destroyed?!
Brutaka:
At that, they were all sucked up by a portal that opened under their feet.
Brutaka: Try to stay together! If we get separated, we may never-
Nocturn continued firing squids at everyone, one of which knocked Vezon away. There was a bright flash and he was gone.
Brutaka: Ah well, no one liked him anyways. Nocturn, stop that!
Nocturn: Pony!
Nocturn "swam" off into another dimension.
Karzahni: Wait... Could it be? I see it!
Karzahni managed to stop his movement, as did Brutaka and Icarax.
Karzahni: It's... it's... everything I ever dreamed off...
Brutaka: What?
Karzahni: MY PASTRAMI!
Karzahni kicked Brutaka and Icarax away and dived into the portal.
Icarax: So I guess it's just you and me then.
There was a bright flash of light and they arrived at their destination.
Brutaka: No matter what this place is like, I swear I'll go insane.

[Baron Von Nebula]

It's been a while, so I'll post the whole "Planet of the Krekka" thing.
Planet of the Krekka
Suddenly, the pair froze as a multitude of eyes peered at them from the shadows of a dense forest. There was a sound of scuffling, and one being was thrust out.
Krekka: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Icarax: Is that Krekka?
Brutaka, sarcastic: No, it’s Krekka’s evil twin Krekka.
To Brutaka’s surprise, many other Krekka came. Not Krekka’s species, but identical copies of Krekka.
Icarax: Obviously the Mutran of this dimension got creative with a copying machine. Again.
Brutaka: Then we’ll have to find him, or whoever caused this nightmare, and deliver justice!
Icarax: Deliver justice? I once delivered pizza, but-
Brutaka: Do you want to end up like that Toa of Dead Silence?
Icarax: It’s just that I was wondering why you can’t just send us home now.
Brutaka: The Olmak will need to recharge after that kind of traveling.
Icarax: It does?
Baron Von Nebula: It does now!
Icarax: Those authors and their author powers and their author-ness.
Meanwhile, the Krekka had slowly formed a ring around our heroes.
Krekka: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Brutaka: You take the ones on your left, I’ll get the rest.
Icarax: Right!
Icarax, who never could tell left from right, began blasting random Krekka with various powers until none were standing.
Krekka: Ha! I sit!
Icarax sent a swarm of Nui-Rama into that Krekka’s face.
Krekka: Clever plan!
The Krekka all gathered around, oblivious to the Nui-Rama’s attack as they planned to track the Nui-Rama back to their hive and get honey. Meanwhile, Brutaka and Icarax were miles away.
Icarax: Wow, you run fast for a non-Makuta.
Brutaka: And you fly fast for someone with completely disproportional wings.
Suddenly, several hundred Krekka emerged from the trees behind them, riding mutant Ussal crabs and blowing horns.

XPlode: Oh no! I saw this on the Krekka Channel!
Meltdown: The Krekka Channel?
Everyone else shuddered.
Meltdown: I’ve never heard of it.
XPlode: Don’t you dare-
Meltdown whipped the remote out of Von Nebula’s claw and flipped to the Krekka Channel.
Everyone else ducked behind the couch for safety.
Announcer: The Krekka Channel! It’s all Krekka, all the time. With classics like Krekka Wars!
Krekka: Krekka, I am your-wait, what was it again?
Announcer: Bat-Krekka!
Bat-Krekka snuck up behind Krekka wearing a mask, pounced, fell off the building, and died.
Announcer: Lord of the Krekka!
Krekka: One Krekka to rule them all, one Krekka to find them. One Krekka to… um… ICE CREAM!
All others: ICE CREAM?!?!
EveryKrekka ran outside and attacked the ice cream truck.
Announcer: And of course, Planet of the Krekka!
Corroder had slowly snuck behind Meltdown, and now snatched the remote and flipped back to the Bionicle Channel.

Brutaka knocked a few Krekka from their steeds with energy blasts, and tried to escape, but was cut off by several Krekka, as their giant Ussal overtook him easily.
Krekka: Goldgoldgoldgoldgold. He go to GoldyLocksland!
The Krekka sped off, leaving behind a very confused Brutaka.
Icarax was less lucky. Despite his great power, he staggered as he was trapped by several hundred energy nets. The Krekka leaped off their Ussal and picked him up carefully to avoid their fingers being bitten off by the flailing Makuta.

THE END?
Meltdown: Of course it's not the end! It can't end there! That would make no sense!
Rotor: That's what the question mark is for.
Meltdown: I know, but the whole thing is kind of unneccesary.
Von Nebula: As are you, Meltdown. As are you.

BrutakaVille
XPlode: Good, it’s finally back.
Brutaka wandered through the jungle, stopping at a clearing when he saw two Matoran.
Mazeka: Hey, Vulraz! Look what I got!
Mazeka held up a Cordak Blaster.
Vultraz: Hey, you go the same weapon as I did!
The pair began chasing each other around laughing, firing missiles at random objects.
Brutaka: Seriously? Playing with Cordak Blasters? That has to be the most violent thing I’ve ever heard of.
Vultraz: But it’s fun!
Brutaka: Fun?! How can one of those oversized hairdryers be fun?
Mazeka: Like this!
The Matoran fired at the abandoned oil barrel that Brutaka was standing on. The resulting explosion launched him far off into the distance.
When Brutaka landed, he saw a cracked, dusty telescreen. As he stood up, the titan stumbled and touched the screen. It suddenly blasted on, and a member of Brutaka’s species appeared.
Speaker: Hello, it this the last straw?
Brutaka: As much as I hate talking to an announcer, yes it is.
Speaker: Would you like to tear your brain out and skip rope with it in the middle of a three-way intersection rather than continue your current lifestyle?
Brutaka: More like a four way intersection.
Speaker: Then move to-
Krekka: I hate this channel.
The Krekka had picked up a remote and changed the channel.
Brutaka: NO! NO!
He knocked the Krekka back with an energy blast and, seizing the remote, returned to the first add.
Speaker: Golden Living, where happiness is just a Spinning Blade away.
Brutaka quickly made his way to this huge golden city. He activated the intercom.
Voice: Hello?
Brutaka: Yes, I’m here for the happiness. I’ll be moving in now.
Voice: Are you alone?
Brutaka: No-I mean yes. Just me, peace and quiet.
Voice: Are you now or have you ever been a Makuta?
Brutaka: No.
Voice: What about-
Brutaka: No, no. Just a garden-loving, gold-
The golden gates slowly opened, and Brutaka had to shade his eyes as he saw his paradise. It was an entire city populated only with his species.
Brutaka: Wow!
Brutaka walked down the streets, passing rows of identical homes until he came to his own.
Brutaka: It’s just like home, but without Axonn and annoying Matoran!
Gold Being 1: (snobby laugh) Yeah, then I told him that I would chop his armor in half.
Gold Being 2: Exactly what I would do.
Brutaka: Wow… This is paradise.
The more time Brutaka spent in Golden Living, the more this seemed to be true.
Brutaka walked outside and opened a portal with his mask, seeing many others doing this too.
Brutaka: Finally, people who travel with style!
At the grocery store, Brutaka found what they never had on Voya Nui.
Brutaka: Oh boy! Gold bread!
At the end of the day, Brutaka started a spice garden, as the hundreds of his species cultivated their own gardens.
Brutaka: I’m never leaving here.

However, Icarax was having less fun. The Krekka hurled him into a giant bird cage before the energy nets dissolved.
Icarax: Oof! This is the weirdest thing that’s happened to me since… last week. Shouldn’t be too hard to break out.
Mutran: Don’t bother. I’ve tried everything.
Icarax: MUTRAN! This is your fault, isn’t it?
Mutran: Not every bizarre crisis is my fault, you know. I have no idea how this happened. There were just suddenly millions of Krekka. Equally, I don’t know what happened to Nidhiki. Apparently though, he told Krekka to “go get a brain”.
Icarax: Don’t tell me-
Mutran: Yep, they’ve learned brain surgery. Probably planning it for you too. I’ve lasted in here for so long by using my illusion power.
Icarax: So why aren’t you hiding from me?
Mutran: Because I have a plan to overthrow the Krekka, but I need a violent moron’s help.
Icarax: That I know I can do.

And thanks for the comment. It does seem that I beat everyone else to 2011 sets. But it isn't Mata Nui who is buried...
Trivia: Planet of the Krekka was originally going to be in MAFEEAME.

Anyways, back to Icarax and Mutran:

Icarax screamed as the Krekka took out an ice cream cone.
Icarax: Wait, is that ice cream?
Krekka pressed a button, and the ice cream split open to reveal a wicked blade.
Krekka: Muhahaha!
Icarax: I'll stop you with my hypnosis vision powers!

Mutran: So did you steal the keys?
Icarax: Can't you just break the lock?
Mutran: Shut up.
Mutran shattered the lock with Sonics, and the two exited.

Icarax: No…no…NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Mutran: Are you finished?
Icarax: Yes. What… what happened?
The camera zoomed out to reveal Destral flipped sideways and half buried in sand.
Mutran: Tridax made a little mistake that I had no involvement in.
Destral, the past…
Mutran: Bartholomew, no!
A mutant Kane-Ra bull smashed through the transportation chamber on Destral as Mutran pursued it.
Tridax: Ah! I can’t focus on teleporting… That nickel’s too shiny!
Present…
Icarax: And people think I’m the failure Makuta. At least I fry everything in sight.
Mutran: Anyways, now what?
Icarax: Aren’t you the genius?
Mutran: Fine. Let’s try and find help.
Icarax: Ooh! Ooh! Pick me!
Icarax waved his hand excitedly.
Mutran: Yes… You there.
Icarax:
Rock: Maybe you should look for Brutaka!
Mutran: Good idea!
Later, at Golden Living…
Brutaka: Maybe I should look for Icarax…
Gold Being 1: Volleyball?
Brutaka: I hate volleyball.
Gold Being 2: Cashews?
Brutaka: I hate cashews.
Gold Being 3: Get out.
Brutaka: What?
Gold Being 3: You heard me. Since you got here, you’ve been nothing but trouble.
Brutaka: What are you talking about?
Gold Being 1: Like when you interrupted my conversation…
Gold Being 2: And when you took the last Gold Bread…
Gold Being 3: And when you introduced a deadly virus to our spice gardens…
Gold Being 1: And you destroyed three dimensions while traveling.
Brutaka: It was an accident! Besides, you can’t make me leave.
Brutaka was soon strapped to a catapult.
Brutaka: You do realize I won’t go anywhere if I’m tied to this thing?
Gold Being 2: BURN THE CATAPULT!
All Gold Beings: Yeah!
They all whipped out matches.
Brutaka: Oh no! We’re among the few species capable of lighting matches!

Meanwhile, Icarax and Mutran had reached the gates.
Icarax: I’ll have an order of fried Zivon skins.
Mutran: I just bought you some!
Icarax: But I love fried Zivon skins…
In the guardhouse…
Golden Guard 1: Good thing we don’t have noses, eh?
Golden Guard 2: Yeah. Wait, do you see that?
Golden Guard 1: No.
Golden Guard 2: Exactly. The gates aren’t on the camera.
Golden Guard 1: So?
Icarax burst into the room and knocked both out with bursts of Shadow.
Mutran: How exactly were you captured?
Icarax: Never mind that! We need to find fried Zivon skins!
Mutran: You said Brutaka earlier…
Icarax: Oh right, that too.

Things were looking bleak for Brutaka.
Brutaka: Look, two Makuta are coming to attack you!
Gold Being 2: Yeah, like we’d fall for that old trick.
Suddenly, two more gold beings ran up, one carrying a tray of fried Zivon skins.
Gold Being 4: You guys need to umm…
Gold Being 5: -Get some more fried Zivon skins!
Gold Being 1: But I’m allergic to-
Gold Being 5: GET SOME!
He grabbed Gold Beings 1-3 and hurled them off into the distance.
Brutaka: Icarax?
Gold Being 5/Icarax: The one and only. Pretty impressive disguise, right?
Brutaka: It would be if I didn’t know that you can shapeshift.
Gold Being 4: What’s going on here? A Makuta?
Icarax: Very funny, Mutran.
Gold Being 4: Who?
Mutran flew over, wearing a false moustache.
Mutran: Hello my friends! I am but a humble salesman, here to sell… sails.
Icarax: Again, I thought you were the smart Makuta.
Mutran: Makuta? Hehehehe! I am but a humble sail-salesman.
Gold Being 4: You clearly aren’t. For one thing, that’s just a fake moustache. For another, why do you have those Makuta Viruses and Kraata following you?
Mutran: Good night!
Gold Being 4 quickly succumbed to Mutran’s Sleep power.
Brutaka: Well, I won’t say good, but adequate work. Now untie me-
Icarax: I’ll use my Freeing Vision!
Brutaka: Wait! I’ll get myself out.

[Baron Von Nebula]

Before we continue with Icarax and Brutaka's adventures, here is a brief attempt at satire: THE GREAT BEING UNIVERSE!

There is another universe... where the Great Beings built a giant robot named Mata Nui... It is similar to the MU we know and love, but with one difference.
The Great Beings were each secretly curious about how their creation would work. So each stowed away inside a being, so they could observe their creation. None of them knew that everyone else had the same idea... This is their story.

"Kopaka": You can come along, in case I need a mountain moved... or the island lifted.
(little does he know that I could easily accomplish this with my GB power)
"Pohatu": Okay.
(little does he know that I could easily accomplish that with my GB power)


"Teridax": So, Takanuva. At last we meet.
(little does he know that I am actually a GB)
"Takanuva": I will defeat you!
(little does he know that I am actually a GB)


"The Shadowed One": Muahahaha!
(Although I'm actually a GB)
"Ancient": Muahahaha!
(Although I'm actually a GB)



Rahkshi: Hiss!
(little do they know that I'm actually a GB)

Ignika: *kills Matoro*
(little does he know that I am actually a GB)
Matoro: *dies*
(little does he know that I am actually a GB)

Icarax: Yay, coffee!
(little do they know that I am actually a GB and invented coffee)

Crazy, right? Or is it! Back to our Icarax and Brutaka:

As the two hurtled past dimensions, Brutaka turned to Icarax.
Brutaka: On second thought, it may be a good idea to find Vezon, Karzahni, and Nocturn. Helrex would kill me if I left them around to mess up other universes.
Icarax: So?
Brutaka: Then, at my funeral, she'd fire me.
Icarax: Don't worry my friend, I'll help you!
Brutaka: Here we are.
The two clambered through a portal. Brutaka looked around. They appeared to have landed in a suburban neighborhood. But upon a closer look, Brutaka noticed scars from elemental blasts all over the place. It was like Toa had decided vandalism would save the world. Brutaka voiced this theory and chuckled.
Icarax: I think you're right!
The pair dove into some bushes as a dozen Toa sped through in a truck.
Fire Toa: Hahaha!
Air Toa: Hahaha-Heeheehee!
The Toa all were firing blasts all over. Brutaka could feel the heat of a blob of plasma hurled above his head.
Icarax: I don't like this.
Brutaka: Neither do I.
Icarax: Is that Toa silver? I think I'm allergic to magnetism...
Suddenly, one of the house's doors burst open. Brutaka could make out a tall figure standing in the doorway. He thought he could see a Kanohi Jutlin and red armor, but the figure was mostly cloaked in shadow.
"Delinquents," muttered the figure. He pulled a Cordak Blaster from behind his back and opened fire. The Toa were blasted to this universe's Karzahni.
Makuta Antroz: I hate delinquents. You in the bushes, come out. Have some coffee.
Icarax: Coffee?! I LOVE COFFEE!
Icarax dragged Brutaka inside, and to Brutaka's further horror, Antroz locked the door behind him.
Brutaka thought: Great. I bet this Antroz hates all Brutaka's because of something this universe's me did to him.
Antroz: I don't pretend to know who you two are, but you're welcome to coffee. Makuta can't drink coffee anyways.
Icarax: What?
Brutaka: We're... strangers. What happened here?
Icarax:
Antroz: Tuyet happened. That "peace-loving" Toa of Water convinced all the Toa that the Makuta were planning to take over the world.
Brutaka: Were you?
Antroz: Yeah, but that's not the point. It's no reason to stuff Bitil with onions until he exploded.
Brutaka: Harsh.
He thought: How are we going to find Vezon here? And besides, aren't there any nice universes?

[Baron Von Nebula]

Suddenly, Antroz kicked their weapons out of their hands and shouted:
Antroz: I hate spies.
Brutaka: How are you standing if your feet are in the air?
Antroz: Mask of Levitation?
Brutaka: Nice try.
Antroz fell to the floor. Brutaka grabbed his sword back and held it at Antroz's neck. Coffee leaked out of gaps in Icarax's armor.
Antroz: I told you.
Brutaka: And I'm telling you that we're not working for Tuyet!
Antroz: Why should I believe you?
Brutaka: We're not Toa for one thing. And Icarax here is a Makuta.
Antroz: I guess he just demonstrated that. Let me up.
When Brutaka didn't budge, Antroz pinched his foot. Brutaka cried out as his leg went numb.
Antroz: I love that trick.
He got up and led Icarax and a limping Brutaka to the back of his house.
Icarax: It looks as ugly as the front.
Antroz: It's a distraction.
Icarax: From your face?
Antroz: Yep, you're a Makuta. Go through there.
He gestured towards a door.
Icarax: OK, but it better not be a trap.
Icarax opened the door and gasped. Brutaka shoved him aside and froze.
Through the door was the largest, most advanced military base he had ever seen. There were pens for war-Rahi, barracks for Rahkshi, a variety of war machines for fighting in the air, land, and sea. And best of all, everything was chrome. But the Brutaka realized the strange thing about this base: it was empty.
Antroz: Not bad, eh? Built it all with my bear hands, out of toothpicks.
Brutaka: With toothpicks and you own hands?
Antroz: You would be surprise at what you can do when you've shapeshifted to have a bear's claws.
Brutaka: But bears aren't good at building things...
Antroz: Well excuse me! I didn't know you were a Makuta!
Brutaka: So what's this all for?
Antroz: War. I'm striking back at Tuyet and avenging those onions.
Brutaka: The onions?
Antroz: And Bitil too.
Icarax: Won't you need some... troops?
Antroz: That's where you two come in. I need both of you to serve in my army!
Brutaka: Well about that...
Antroz: I'll tell you where Vezon is if you help me.
Brutaka: How do you...
Antroz: I know everything. I read Icarax's mind. Everyone knows coffee disrupts the user's telepathy.
Brutaka: Fine, we'll help.
Vahki: C0M3 0UT W1TH Y0UR H4NDS UP!
Brutaka: Quick, how do you work this tank?
He jumped into the pilot seat of a tank.
Antroz: Umm... Press the thingamajig and push the dooziwhatits...
Brutaka: Don't tell me...
All: Nobody reads the manual...


Icarax: Maybe we should just do what they said?
Antroz: Good idea!

Vahki #304012849 was not having the best day. He had just discovered that not only Makuta can't drink coffee: Vahki can't either. On top of that, the three criminals had just burst out of the house piloting what appeared to be three giant mechanical hands. They swatted Vahki aside, many crumbled easily. Tuyet probably shouldn't have kept using the same robots for 6000 years.

Tuyet was having an even worse day. She had just discovered how hard it is to drink coffee while holding the Nui stone. If she ever put it down, anyone could kill her. It probably would have been a better idea to have a Nui belt, or shoe, or something. That way she wouldn't be one handed all the time. And worst of all, several thousand Vahki had been obliterated.
Nidhiki: I told you to renew the insurance.
Tuyet: How could I know that Antroz would have giant robot hands?!
Nidhiki: Maybe if you bothered thinking before sending in all those robots?
Tuyet: Shut up. I'm going to go kill Matoran or something.
Tuyet left.
Nidhiki: Why did a Toa of Water get the Nui stone? Unlimited fire or lightning or plasma would be so much cooler.

Meanwhile, Antroz lead Icarax and Brutaka to another base on Xia.
Brutaka: How many toothpicks did you buy?
Antroz: Bah, those were for the other fort. This one I made out of sand. Anyways, I have another plan. Since giant weapons didn't work, we'll tell everyone in the MU to go to Metru Nui and refuse to leave.
Icarax: That's it?
Antroz: Well, I'll call the Tahtoraks so we can tip Mata Nui over or something. That guy really doesn't pay attention if he doesn't know what Tuyet is doing.
Brutaka: That's it! Try to get Mata Nui to notice you, and you can tell him about this!
Antroz: That just might be stupid enough to work! But how to get his attention...
Icarax: We could shoot lasers at the sky?
Antroz: Why not?
They soon assembled a super laser, and prepared to fire it even as Takanuva from the Core universe killed Tuyet.

Metru Nui
Everyone: Hoorah!
A great party began, as Antroz's laser blasted upwards and killed Mata Nui.

Xia
Antroz: Did it work?
Brutaka: I'm not sure...
Vezon: Hey guys!
Icarax: Where have you been?
Vezon: At the Reeducation center. Karzahni reeducated me in how to tie shoes.
Brutaka: Wonderful. Leaving.
He opened up a portal and they left even as this MU crashed into Aqua Magna and Bota Magna at once (somehow), pushing them into Bara Magna and repairing Spherus Magna.
Angonce: And you said building a giant robot to glue planets together was a dumb idea!
Heremus:

[fishers64]

Xia
Antroz: Did it work?
Brutaka: I'm not sure...
Vezon: Hey guys!
Icarax: Where have you been?
Vezon: At the Reeducation center. Karzahni reeducated me in how to tie shoes.
Brutaka: Wonderful. Leaving.
He opened up a portal and they left even as this MU crashed into Aqua Magna and Bota Magna at once (somehow), pushing them into Bara Magna and repairing Spherus Magna.
Angonce: And you said building a giant robot to glue planets together was a dumb idea!
Heremus:

The last line. Can't say it was bad. Although this comedy is getting crazier and crazier as time goes on, but it is still funny.

One thing I would like to get back to is the Hero Factory reaction to all this. I can just picture Von Nebula getting irritated about all these alternate dimensions and him wanting to get back to normal. And what does he think of Black Phantom?

[Baron Von Nebula]

At this point, I'm still copying the old episodes onto the new BZPower. It's just as well, since my laptop broke and I don't have much time to type new episodes. For this reason, I have thought of ideas for all the Hero Factory characters who haven't appeared yet, but have not yet posted them in an episode. But don't worry: Von Nebula will be seeing some action soon, and I'm very pleased with the personality I came up with for Black Phantom.


Brutaka and Icarax said nothing as they hurtled past myriad dimensions. Vezon, of course, was babbling as usual.
"So then he was like 'can I have a donut?' and Gadunka was like 'snarl' and then the set designer traded my spine for a donut. And my lack of a spine was then incorporated into the story."
Brutaka, with some difficulty, managed to stop hurtling past universes and forced the others through what he judged was the dimension Nocturn fell into.
"But then Kardas ate my other two toes which is why I only have three."
Brutaka struggled to hold his temper, and silently wished Vezon couldn't talk. To his surprise, no sound came from Vezon. Brutaka and Icarax stared at Vezon, who appeared to be silently shouting.
Brutaka: Could it be that in this dimension whatever you want to happen happens?
Friendly Guy: Yep.
Icarax: Ice cream?
Ice cream: Right here!
Icarax: Non-speaking ice cream?
As Icarax devoured the ice cream (and it leaked through his armor), Brutaka wondered where Nocturn was. Except for them and their wishes, the dimension appeared to be empty white space.
Brutaka: Icarax, do you think you could fly out and see if you can see Nocturn?
Icarax: Wait 'till I finish my ice cream!
Brutaka: Whatever, I wish I can fly!
Brutaka soared upwards, and flew about, but to no avail. He returned to the others to tell them the sad news.
Icarax: So you can't find him?
Brutaka: Nope.
Icarax: Why don't we just wish he was here. And Karzahni, too, while we're at it.
As Brutaka wondered how he had not realized this, both beings appeared. Karzahni still held a large pastrami sandwich, and Nocturn sat on a seahorse kiddy-ride.
Karzahni: My pastrami! It's gone! My childhood dreams crushed!
Icarax: What?
Karzahni: Two words. Dimension made of Pastrami.
Icarax: Well, you can get anything you want here.
Nocturn: Can I borrow a widget? I'm all out.
Brutaka: Let's go home.
Karzahni: I don't think so! I will have my pastrami!
Brutaka: I'll knock you out if I have to.
Karzahni: How do you know I didn't already defeat you and trap you in this illusion?
Icarax: Good point!
Brutaka: But Icarax would have realized it; he's telepathic.
Icarax: Unless I'm just an illusion...
Brutaka: I'm going insane.
Axonn: Don't worry pal, I'll save you.
Brutaka: What? Axonn? What are you doing here?
There was a bright flash of light, and Brutaka found himself back in the hospital, with Icarax, Nocturn, Karzahni, and a group of Toa and Order agents.
Trinuma: Apparently thieves broke in, placed all of you under an illusion, and left with all Karzahni's money.
Vezon: That's terrible!
Trinuma: Not really. Currently, Karzahni Coins are worth about 0.000000000000000000001 of a widget. The thieves have enough money to buy... half a leaf.
Karzahni: But in Karzahni, leaves transform into giant centipedes if you feed them pencils!
Brutaka: How is that opposite, exactly?
Karzahni: Doesn't matter. So I guess you shouldn't even bother tracking these guys down.
Trinuma: Wait! The value of Karzahni Coins just went up to being worth 99999999999999999 times that of a widget! That's enough to buy the Red Star!
Icarax: Wow, they could get a lot more centipedes...
Karzahni: So we should try and stop them?
Icarax: What for?
Brutaka: Well, they may actually buy the Red Star and convert it into a planet destroying space station using the plans Mutran put on BZPower.

[Baron Von Nebula]

Trinuma: You may remember that someone robbed Karzahni. Well, we've discovered what group they were from, if not their actual identities. They are-
Tobduk: *shoves Trinuma aside* I'm tired of you always introducing things! It's my time to shine!
Trinuma: Go ahead, genius.
Tobduk: ummm... welll... *stage fright*
Trinuma: Maybe you should-
Tobduk: I'm fine! ummm.... Iiiiiiii....
Trinuma: Look, it's a Makuta!
Tobduk: Where? *pulls out staff* I'll get it! I'll get it! *runs off*
Trinuma: Anyways... they're Dark Hunters, as anyone could have predicted. I mean, it's not like they would just suddenly go from most wanted to replacing Toa. I mean, something weird like that could only happen in another dimension. The Order decided it would be a good idea to educate the public about Dark Hunters so you can help catch them. Luckily, Ancient had set up a few cameras during his time as a Dark Hunter, so...

*roll film*
Ancient: Hey, this is Ancient. I'm setting these cameras up so that the Order can learn about the Hunters in case something happens to me (like that would ever happen).

Right now a few new recruits are being spoken to...

The Shadowed One: So, you punks think you can be Dark Hunters?
Vezok: Yes?
TSO: First you must pass a rigorous test.
All Dark Hunters: RIGOROUS TEST! RIGOROUS TEST!
TSO: First, do you want to be a Dark Hunter?
Vezon and Hakann: Yes!
All Dark Hunters: *gasp*
TSO: I'm surprised... Most recruits can't handle even that test. Now, for the final test. One of you must do the super-secret evil guy handshake!
All Dark Hunters: *gasp*
Sentrahk: How do you do? *puts out hand*
Hakann: Fine, and you? *shakes hand normally*
All Dark Hunters: *burst into applause*
TSO: Fine, you're in. But I'm not happy about it! Ancient, show them their first assignment.

Ancient: Come, little Piraka. Now you will be... telemarketers.
Vezok and Hakann: *gasp*

Baron Von Nebula: There really is a lot of gasping in this chapter. I wish I was the Element Lord of Air, because I would be getting rich off this breathing.

*Ancient leads the Skakdi down a hallway into a room marked "Sales"*
Ancient: Meet Lariska. She's an expert.
Lariska: But a Makuta will starve for each sweater you don't buy! Thank you. So you want 200 sweaters? Good bye.
Ancient: Very good.
Hakann: Ha! That's your best? I'll be selling this place in a week!
Dark Hunters: Phone off! Phone off! Phone off!
Ancient: Looks like you just entered a competition. Whoever sells the most sweaters in five minutes wins!
Both Lariska and Hakann began selling sweaters like lightning!
Lariska: 37 sweaters? Thank you, you just saved the Fikou from extinction.
Hakann: These sweaters aren't for wearing... they're a new green fuel source. No, we only have them in orange... OK, so you'll take 30?
Soon, the five minutes were almost up. Hakann knew he had sold many more sweaters than Lariska, and leaned back in his chair confidently, when suddenly it tipped over.
Lariska: Never turn your back on an opponent. *slices Hakann's phone in half by throwing dagger* And never turn your back on a Dark Hunter unless she's been demoted to Dweller's job.
Dweller:
Lariska: On that last call I sold 300,000 sweaters.
Ancient: In that case, you won by... 299,999.
Hakann: But I sold way more than 1 sweater!
Ancient: ...You need to rethink your math. You sold 5 sweaters and I deducted 4 because you almost ruined the chair and DID ruin that phone.
Hakann: But Lariska did it!
Ancient: Someday, kid, you'll understand: don't argue with someone who throws daggers at everything Anyways, luckily for you, the boss vaporized someone for selling our secrets.
Hakann: What secrets?
Ancient: The boss's grandma's secret lemonade recipe.
Vezok: The fiend!
Ancient: Yes... So there's a new desk free that for you and four other Skakdi.
Vezok: Wait, how can 6 Skakdi share one desk?

Avak: I can't breathe!
Zaktan: Ow! That's me your burning!
Hakann: I'm cold though...
Vezok: You can buy a sweater from me; I need to boost my sales.
Reidak: I can't find my mutton!
Thok, thinking: In five second of pickpocketing I've gotten... nothing but a piece of mutton.

Later...
Triglax: Hey, new kid!
Vezok: WHATYOUWANT?!
Triglax: Go get me some coffee.
Vezok: WHATAREYOUICARAX?!
Triglax: Um... or else?
Vezok: ORELSEWHAT?!
Triglax: *shapeshifts into a Tahtorak*
Vezok: ok

Even later...
Hakann: Why do you think Vezok was so angry in that last scene.
Reidak: Stress has been getting to him?
Zaktan: We've only been here for a few hours...
Krekka: I second that!
Piraka: GET LOST!
Krekka: *runs away*

The Shadowed One's throne room
Krekka: Boss, boss! Everyone's mean to me!
TSO: Why should I care?
Nidhiki: Because he can sue you.
TSO:

Trinuma: You know, maybe the Dark Hunters aren't so great of a threat.
Tobduk: *has Miserix in a butterfly net* I got 'em.
Miserix: Can you let me go now?

[fishers64]

Epic lines:

Brutaka: Well, they may actually buy the Red Star and convert it into a planet destroying space station using the plans Mutran put on BZPower.

Or they might hire a bunch of Piraka telemarketers.

Ancient: Come, little Piraka. Now you will be... telemarketers.

* * *

Lariska: Never turn your back on an opponent. *slices Hakann's phone in half by throwing dagger* And never turn your back on a Dark Hunter unless she's been demoted to Dweller's job.
Dweller:

* * *

Tobduk: *has Miserix in a butterfly net* I got 'em.
Miserix: Can you let me go now?

Wow, way to come back. Terrific chapter. I specifically liked the Piraka-as-telemarketers idea (after all, aren't those the best modern day equivalent of thieves, anyway?) And the spoof of Lariska vs. Hakann was most certainly brilliant.

I'm reminded of why I like this comedy. Good job, and keep up the good work!

[Baron Von Nebula]

Thanks for the review!

Von Nebula's lair
Von Nebula: You know, our initiation isn't that different from the Dark Hunters. Come to think of it, that's probably why I'm stuck with the galaxy's greatest failures.
Corroder: We love you too, boss.
Von Nebula: Well, I guess it could be worse...

Witch Doctor's lair
Witch Doctor: Ow! Stop it! *Fangz is chewing on his leg*
Fangz: Grrrrr
Witch Doctor: Nice doggy... *Fangz pounces on him*
Witch Doctor: Ow! Rawjaw, stop ea-
Rawjaw: *eats refridgerator*
Scorpio: I'm so rare and amazing!
Waspix: bzzzz *flies into Witch Doctor's face*
Witch Doctor: Why don't these quaza spikes work?!
Teridax: Because they're lame ripoffs of infected kanohi.

Von Nebula: I wonder when Aldous will figure out that having a degree in geology doesn't translate to having skills with animals.
Meltdown: I guess you're not the worst boss ever, either.

Black Phantom's Lair
Black Phantom: Anon, to infecteth the entire flat world with this plague! Muahaha! *drops needle on foot* Oh no.
Later,
Black Phantom: uhhh... be-ith the broth of chicken prepared?
Splitface: Yes it is! No it isn't! Yes! No! Yes! No! *halves start punching each other* Is that the best I've got? I'm such a wimp! I hate you! I hate you more! *rips self in half*
Splitface half 1: I'm half the robot I used to be...
Splitface half 2: Tell me about it...
Jawblade: can't... breathe... *flops upside down*
Toxic Reapa: Umm... I guess I'll get it. *takes soup out of microwave*
Black Phantom: WITCHCRAFT! *shoots microwave*
Toxic Reapa: I guess I'll just order another... *takes out phone*
Black Phantom: WITCHCRAFT! *shoots phone*
Toxic Reapa: ...I can see where this is going. *leaves*

Von Nebula: Wow, these other villains are pathetic.

Trinuma, on television: But not as pathetic as these!
Meltdown: AFTER ALL THESE YEARS THE TV CAN HEAR ME?!

Odina
Vezok: We should do something about Triglax. He's always pushing us around.
Avak: You mean he's pushing you around.
Zaktan: We're a team! We must stand together!
Hakann: Or sit...
Later,
Triglax: Vezok, go-
Vezok: NOW!
*all Piraka jump out and tie Triglax up*
Avak: That was suprisingly easy!
*the Piraka throw Triglax in a dumpster**he turns into a dragon and starts to leave it, but Vezok sits on the lid, joined by all the Piraka*
TSO: Well, I'm back from court! What are you six doing?
Reidak: We're attacking a higher-ranking member of you're organization.
All other Piraka: Reidak!
TSO: That's terrible! Was it Ancient?
Zaktan: No.
TSO: Was it Sentrahk?
Zaktan: No.
TSO: Was it Darkness?
Three hours later...
TSO: Was it Takua?
Zaktan: Wait, Takua?
TSO: Nah, I'm just checking if you're paying attention. How about Airwatcher?
Vezok: IT WAS TRIGLAX!
TSO: Oh, well that's ok then.
Hakann: Really?
TSO: Yeah, I throw him in the dumpster all the time.
*Triglax starts to burst out again, but TSO sits on the dumpster*
TSO: Anyone want lunch?
All Piraka:

Trinuma: Seriously, BVN, cut back on the emoticons.
BVN:
Miserix: *has foot caught in a bear trap* Really?
Tobduk: ALL RIGHT I GOT ANOTHER ONE!