14 replies to this topic

[TNTOS]

This is the review topic for the supplemental epic, "The Other Tale," which takes place during the events of my other epic, "Dimension Hoppers."

The epic itself can be found here. Enjoy.

Comments, criticisms, reviews, etc. are all appreciated .

-TNTOS-

Edited by TNTOS, Jan 16 2012 - 09:48 AM.

[hervanax]

i am the only one here

sad

any who the store is great and there was a beg twist
i thought that raider was actually sent to steal the time stone

you think ahead and i like story's that do that

well that's all fokes

[TNTOS]

i am the only one here

sad

any who the store is great and there was a beg twist
i thought that raider was actually sent to steal the time stone

you think ahead and i like story's that do that

well that's all fokes

I do find the lack of comments on this epic a bit strange. It has less chapters than DiH and the chapters are all quite short compared to DiH's chapters. I guess as it is updated less frequently than DiH and is less important, which could explain the lack of reviews.

Anyway, thanks for the reply. Yes, Raider was sent just to see if the Time Stone was actually stolen, not to steal it. I thought Syala said that at the end of "An Unlikely Alliance," but perhaps it wasn't clear enough. I don't remember.

-TNTOS-

[hervanax]

well i think Kafor will be angry without that armor cause he will need all the protection he can get with the dark hunters on to him now

do you have a reason why the rama didn't take the golden armor or is that going to stay a mystery?

[TNTOS]

well i think Kafor will be angry without that armor cause he will need all the protection he can get with the dark hunters on to him now

do you have a reason why the rama didn't take the golden armor or is that going to stay a mystery?

Kafor is female, by the way.

And yes, it will be revealed later on why the Nui-Rama didn't take the golden armor. It's not a terribly huge mystery, but it will be answered in later chapters, I promise.

Thanks for replying to this epic and DiH, herv. Really appreciate it .

-TNTOS-

[Scanty Demon]

Well read chapter one and so far so good. Time my review with The good, the bad, and the stuff I couldn't categorize.

The Good:
For starters Toa Nasis being envious of Kiriah's position when Kiriah is bored out of her mind guarding the Time Stone. Well played my friend. I also enjoyed Loamos.... ah the artistic rage knows no boundry. The Toa Team HQ I liked because it gave us insight on the Toa

The Bad:
This fic may suffer from being a supplement fic because some things the reader will only understand if DiH. An example of this would the aforementioned scene with Toa Nasis. I had read DiH so I got that little bit of Irony, someone who hasn't will miss it big time. Also I worried Loamos will be a butt monkey, the comic relief who has one job and that is fall into traps. Granted I not really that worried about Loamos because you're full of surprises.

The Stuff I couldn't categorize:
Does anyone find it wierd that I'm the only one who has posted here with a picture in their avatar and signature? By the way TNTOS, what happened to your Toa Lhikan picture I liked that. On topic having a female Toa that is not a standard element maybe a bit iffy for some.

Sorry for the short review. The Great and Powerful Trixie hopes to see you keep up the good work.

[TNTOS]

The Good:
For starters Toa Nasis being envious of Kiriah's position when Kiriah is bored out of her mind guarding the Time Stone. Well played my friend. I also enjoyed Loamos.... ah the artistic rage knows no boundry. The Toa Team HQ I liked because it gave us insight on the Toa

Thanks for the compliments .

But his namos Laomos, not Loamos. Just thought I'd correct you on that.

The Bad:
This fic may suffer from being a supplement fic because some things the reader will only understand if DiH. An example of this would the aforementioned scene with Toa Nasis. I had read DiH so I got that little bit of Irony, someone who hasn't will miss it big time. Also I worried Loamos will be a butt monkey, the comic relief who has one job and that is fall into traps. Granted I not really that worried about Loamos because you're full of surprises.

On your first point: Agreed, but can't be helped due to its nature as a supplemental fic rather than a full epic.

As for Laomos, he's not very important in TOT, besides being mentioned a few times. Nasis and Ahova are the starring Toa, while the rest of the team only get a few minor appearances and roles. I would love to write a story about Laomos, though, because his personality is fun.

The Stuff I couldn't categorize:
Does anyone find it wierd that I'm the only one who has posted here with a picture in their avatar and signature? By the way TNTOS, what happened to your Toa Lhikan picture I liked that. On topic having a female Toa that is not a standard element maybe a bit iffy for some.

My Lhikan avatar was one of the BZP default avatars. When the forums changed, I think they got rid of the defaul avs, which is why I no longer have my Lhikan av. Wish the were still around, though, because I liked it, too.

On Ahova: Eh, true. But quite a few fanfic writers like to make all Matoran elementals bigendered, so I figured I could get away with female Ahova being a Toa of Magnetism and female Kicho being a Toa of Stone. No one has complained about it so far anyway, so I don't see any reason to worry about it.

Anyway, thanks for the review. Really appreciated it .

-TNTOS-

[hervanax]

i dont have much to say about the epic unfortunitly

but i do like the toa having eliments not used by there genders
i think that there should not have been an assigned sex for each type of toa

by the way TNTOS you could probaly find that Lhikan av. by google searching if you still want it

[TNTOS]

i dont have much to say about the epic unfortunitly

but i do like the toa having eliments not used by there genders
i think that there should not have been an assigned sex for each type of toa

by the way TNTOS you could probaly find that Lhikan av. by google searching if you still want it

Originally I tried to stick with the canon rule of one gender per element (mostly because I like to keep my stories as close to canon as possible), but I wanted more female Toa in my stories and so decided to bend the rules a little.

Just tried to find the Lhikan avatar via Google like you said, but I couldn't find it, unfortunately. I need to get a new avatar sometime.

-TNTOS-

[hervanax]

of course, but I always try to go the extra mile when completing missions. For instance, I don’t just steal a treasure. I kill the guards, steal anything else of value, maybe cause a couple of fires and then leave.”
if only going the extra mile in school was that much fun

nothing else to say

[TNTOS]

of course, but I always try to go the extra mile when completing missions. For instance, I don’t just steal a treasure. I kill the guards, steal anything else of value, maybe cause a couple of fires and then leave.”
if only going the extra mile in school was that much fun

nothing else to say

You'd probably get kicked out of school if you did that, heh .

-TNTOS-

[hervanax]

not much to say about this chapter but it was good

soooooooooo...

keep up the good work

[TNTOS]

not much to say about this chapter but it was good

soooooooooo...

keep up the good work

Thanks .

-TNTOS-

[hervanax]

i am guessing this will lead into the next epic

i am glad you mentioned the visions
it always bothered me how the toa just had visions like that

[TNTOS]

i am guessing this will lead into the next epic

i am glad you mentioned the visions
it always bothered me how the toa just had visions like that

Yes, the things mentioned in the epilogue will be important in Dawn of the New Century.

In fact, I can confirm that Kafor will be a major character in Dawn, but that's all I am saying for now. Don't want to spoil too much.

-TNTOS-