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About MetaStriker

Year 08
  • Rank
    Makuta Conquered!
  • Birthday June 1

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  • Location
    America 2
  • Interests
    My name is MetaStriker, formerly SkywardStriker16, Toa of Winds, Meta Nuva, and a variation of Tahus (TN:TS, TTG, TTM). Since my hiatus from BZP, I've immersed myself in gaming. My NNID and PSN are SkywardStriker16.

    My favorite video game franchises mostly lie within the realm of Nintendo, especially Zelda, Mario, and Smash Bros. I'm so happy that Sans is finally in Smash. My favorite game on the Switch is definitely Super Mario Odyssey. That said, there are some great indie titles on the Switch as well. I highly recommend playing Celeste, Stardew Valley, and Hollow Knight. These are three of the best indie games out there, and you can enjoy them on the go.

    I have a PS4 as well, and I highly recommend Horizon: Zero Dawn (it's just as good as BOTW, if not better) and Marvel's Spider-Man.

    Other than gaming, my interests lie in music and...I guess I'm still slightly interested in LEGOs. While I haven't bought anything besides the Brickheadz for myself, I enjoy helping my sister build LEGO Architecture sets, as well as looking to see what new sets are coming. I also like writing in my sparest of free times, both music and the official rewrite of "The Adventures of Tahu," a comedy I wrote in 2012.

    Entitled "Tahu's Antics: Orderly Turmoil," the rewritten comedy features an overhauled plot as well as much more sophisticated and less sporadic humor than the original comedy. If you're interested...
    Tahu's Transport: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/23623-tahus-transport/
    Tahu's Consequence: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/24356-tahus-consequence/
    The Hero Tahu: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25724-the-hero-tahu/

    Okay, I never finished writing the remake to The Adventures of Tahu, in part due to the fact that I got into the Marble League (a marble sports tournament on YouTube) and became a member of the Jelle's Marble Runs Committee. You can find me as Stynth in that community. #MomoStrong.
    Other Comedies...
    Okonicle: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25003-okonicle-the-okay-chronicle/


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  1. The Comedies forum...lives? Interesting idea for a comedy. Looks like a Spy Kids 3-esque premise. Curious to see where it'll go.
  2. Cleverly written, and a great way to pump some life support into this poor subforum.
  3. Today's a good day to post again. I'm feeling it. Let's roll. === Chapter 10: The Melding And no. Not that alternate universe Greg Farshtey made up. You know, it’s good to be back. You finally got your name legally changed? Yes. You may now call me The Storyteller. Isn’t that ripping off Lucina? Oh. Oh whoops. It is. Good thing I didn’t write it down. Censorer warned me it was a bad idea. That I did. I did too. But, I mean, I guess we’re back to forgetting I exist. Hey, I’m the one who created you. Which reminds me. Nex? Why are you still here? You didn’t get rid of me yet. Guardius. Please get rid of him. Gladly. To where? Wipe his memory and put him in this chapter somewhere. I’ll kill him off as soon as I get the chance. I’m just going to let it happen at this point. ...guys...the chapter. Oh, wow. The author of this comedy got sidetracked?! Shocking. It’s good to be back. In the Underground Lab of the Great Beings… As Tahu, Gali, Nuhrii, Evo, and Ackar entered the Destruction Tower, the Prototype Robot rose around the helpless denizens of the endless desert of Bara Magna, and the Resistance and Orderly Militia erupted in a fierce battle in the Coliseum, Vezon watched through all three portals at once. He felt useless. Knowing that Brutaka was dead made it all the worse for the Piraka, who had previously lost all of his brothers during Voya Nui’s hurricane, eleven years prior. It was then that he knew he could never side with Helryx. Yet, Vezon contemplated, he had never felt the need to resist Helryx. He just never wanted to be involved. And he knew that Brutaka didn’t want to be either, even if Brutaka had a natural inclination towards what was right. He wanted to protect him. And he failed. Now, Vezon could only watch as the Visorak pounced on Nuhrii and Mata Nui at the shores of Metru Nui. He could only watch as each of Teridax’s footsteps shook the ground with mini-earthquakes, terrorizing the united tribes as Teridax came closer to them. He could only watch as Helryx, smiling maniacally, ordered Von Nebula and his cronies to attack her mortal enemies as she rushed upstairs and blocked their way to Kiina. Could he? In the Endless Desert... As the tribes continued to run away, Teridax chuckled, stopping in his tracks. “You insignificant fleas.” Lifting nothing but a finger on his right hand, a horde of forty Rahkshi were created instantly from the sands, and as Teridax relaxed his finger, the Rahkshi began speeding towards the Agori and Glatorian on the ground. “You can run, but I’m not going to finish that cliche reference for you.” Teridax snickered. “Look at me, Helryx! My jokes are bad, but at least I have a sense of humor!” As he raised his hands to his sides, extending his fingers outwards, he added, “And I’m doing more than you could have ever hoped to accomplish.” In the Destruction Tower… “I remember you,” Von Nebula sneered, locking with Tahu’s Magma Swords in combat. “I teleported into your meeting. You were all so welcoming.” “Helryx was too, wasn’t she?” Gali said as she battled with Splitface some feet away. “Isn’t she the one who kicked you out of the Matoran Universe?” Thunder twisted Nex’s head off with his claws and kicked his body aside (finally.) “Things turned out better for us in the end. They won’t for you.” “Not if we can help it.” Breez’s arrows hit Thunder moments after, knocking him to the ground for good. Stringer, Surge, Rocka, Bulk, and Furno followed her into the tower, immediately engaging their rivals in the lobby. “Wow! You believed us!” Gali exclaimed, the sarcasm in her voice indistinguishable. “How were the donuts?” Furno shrugged. “We didn’t get to try them. Stormer ate them all and died.” “WHAT?!” Evo exclaimed, narrowly dodging XT4’s spinning blade. “Yeah. It’s okay. He really liked donuts, and they’re the last thing he ate, so I guess he died happy,” Bulk said. “We figured we should probably run over here after that happened. Literally no one else in Makuhero City would be that idiotically genius to murder one of us with donuts,” Rocka jested. “We can murder you with far worse than donuts,” growled Toxic Reapa, aiming his toxic jets toward Surge. Surge quickly retaliated, shooting his plasma blaster into Toxic Reapa and knocking him across the lobby, into the wall. He threw his Hero Cuffs to imprison Toxic Reapa, shooting a bolt of electricity that stunned the criminal into silence. “Tahu, we’ve got them,” Evo assured as he cuffed Speeda Demon. “Go up there and save your friend.” “Thank you.” As Evo struck Von Nebula from the side, Tahu skrted behind Von Nebula and towards the stairs. He didn’t look back to see Evo get knocked away from Von Nebula as he swung his Black Hole Staff to face the Toa who had escaped him, charging up his staff--- In Ta-Metru… The sheer force of the icicle erupting from the sewer had propelled Artakha not only out of his imprisonment, but out of the entire Coliseum. As the battle erupted between the revitalized Resistance and the Orderly Militia, Artakha wandered through the empty metropolis of the metrus, working to regain his strength as well as his sanity. But it wasn’t long before his so-called peace was interrupted. Near the shore of Ta-Metru, he could see two golden beings barely fending off a horde of Visorak. Artakha squinted; he could just about make out the Avokhii and the Ignika on the warriors’ faces. “Oh my.” Ignoring his complete lack of strength, Artakha forced himself to sprint over, slashing his Staff in front of him to obliterate any Visorak in his path and slamming it into the ground. The Staff of Artakha seemed to level the ground as waves of energy came out of it, repairing the damage done to Ta-Metru by the Visorak and stunning the insects. This allowed Mata Nui and Taka the upper hand, as they took care of the rest of the Visorak and met Artakha on the other side. “...Thank...you,” Mata Nui said, amazed. “Don’t mention it.” Artakha leaned against his staff as he relaxed. The Staff repaired some of the being’s armor and strengthened him. “And thank you. For coming home.” “Where are the others?” Taka questioned. He gasped. “They can’t be--” “They’re not,” Artakha said. “They’re not what?!” “They’re not dead. They, in fact, just erupted into a huge battle at the Coliseum. We should probably join them.” “Oh. Yeah. We really should.” In the Destruction Tower… Nuhrii raced up the stairs without hesitation, pushing Tahu out of sight up the stairwell. He leapt forward, shooting his Kanoka Disk at the Black Hole Staff as a shadow hand reached out of Von Nebula’s staff. “NUHRII!! NO!!!” The swirling glass ball on Von Nebula’s staff shattered and imploded, sucking Von Nebula into a blue-and-black portal as it expanded outwards. As the villains watched, dumbfounded, the heroes cuffed and knocked out every single one. Tahu, Ackar, and Gali raced to Nuhrii, who, consumed by the shadow hand, lay, weakened, on the floor. “No...you didn’t have to. Nuhrii---” Tahu tried to continue, but he couldn’t find the words. “I didn’t have to...but I did...because that’s what heroes do.” Nuhrii tried to lift himself off the ground, but his strength was failing him. “You’re more of a hero than I could ever be,” said Tahu. He smiled at Nuhrii. “Every word of what you just said was wrong.” Nuhrii’s eyes drifted off for a moment, then back to Tahu. “Don’t worry about me...you have to save her.” Tahu rested his hand on Nuhrii’s heart stone as it started blinking, less and less frequently. Sniffling, he stood up, and climbed the stairs, looking back one last time before disappearing up the stairwell to the fourth floor. Nuhrii gazed at Gali, his eyes fluttering. “I think it’s time...to go home…” he trailed off, as his eyes drifted to the swirling portal, and shut for the last time. Inside the Brain of the Prototype Robot… Checking one last time to make sure that no one else was inside, Ahkmou crawled out from under the control panel, pushed a Glatorian corpse off of the pilot’s chair, sat down, dusted off the armrests, and smirked. This is going to be a fun ride. Earlier, On the Fourth Floor of the Destruction Tower… She allowed positive energy to flow through her mind, motivating her, giving her the strength to stand up. Helryx had just arrived downstairs, and she could hear the crazed empress’s voice as she told the criminals of her wild donut debacle. I am damaged. But I am not broken. Kiina stretched for the first time in what seemed like months, as she continued to focus on the hope that she could be free. Ackar and Tahu and the others came for her. They could all escape this tyranny. But Kiina knew Helryx. Her torturer was anything but a friend to her, but she’d talked to her in letting out her frustration so much that Kiina knew more than most of her subordinates. Helryx’s sheer power and self-entitlement, being the First Toa. Helryx’s love for Tahu, never wanting him to escape the Matoran Universe as a result. Helryx’s fear that she was never enough and had never done enough, and her desire to maintain control over the Orderly Empire because it made her feel that she mattered. She also knew that Helryx would run back upstairs as soon as Tahu arrived. And that she would probably murder Kiina. Snapping apart her Hero Cuffs in a fit of strength, Kiina grabbed her trident off the wall as Helryx opened the door, and blocked the downward strike of her staff as Helryx slammed the door shut behind her. Helryx rolled her eyes as she blocked Kiina’s swing. “How did you gain your strength back so easily? It doesn’t make any sense! You’re not Sonic from Sonic Forces!” Kiina chuckled. “Sonic from Sonic Forces. I would have never guessed that’s where he was from.” “Shut up!! Why aren’t you dead yet?” Helryx swung her staff down, but Kiina easily blocked it and kicked the tyrant against the door, unknowingly pushing the lever into its unlocked position. Kiina shrugged. “You didn’t care enough to kill me.” She thrust her trident at Helryx, but she quickly ducked, diving at Kiina’s knees and tackling her to the ground. Helryx attempted to stab Kiina several times in the face, but each time, Kiina gracefully dodged each attack as she slightly rotated the pole of her trident, perfectly blocking the point of Helryx’s staff every time. Her adrenaline was wearing off though, and as much as Kiina tried to ignore her pain, she could not escape something that had become such a critical part of her… You are tired...you have gone past the point of no return...death is staring you in the face...does it really seem so bad? “NO!!” Kiina pushed herself up with all of her might, but she only succeeded in tiring herself as she collapsed onto the ground. Helryx cackled, knowing that her psychometry had bested Kiina’s strength, and stood up, walking to the wall to grab her mace. “I did not hit her! It’s not true! It’s CRACKLENUTS! I did not hit her! I did not…” said Tahu, dazed, as he stormed into the room. “Oh, hi Helryx.” Helryx froze in her tracks, her head slowly turning towards Tahu. As she did, Kiina slowly stood up, swaying, and uppercutted the tyrant as Kiina fell again to the ground. “Kiina!!” Tahu rushed over to her as Helryx stumbled back, dropping her mace with a resounding THUD. She glared over at Tahu as he helped Kiina stand, with eyes of hurt. “Why would you do this to her? Who do you think you are? All the turmoil you’ve caused---” “And what makes you any better?” Helryx sneered. “You committed a crime. And you never admitted to it. You ran. You always...ran…” Tahu was silent. Helryx stood herself up, never moving her eyes away from him. “Maybe we both committed a crime. Maybe we both ran. Maybe we both didn’t want to be two sides of the same coin, but we are.” Tahu’s eyes furrowed. “What do you mean?” Helryx’s expression, previously contorted in stress and pain, suddenly relaxed as if something had left her mind. “You know, Tahu. Deep inside, we didn’t want to be the faces of our coalitions. But we couldn't resist. We were both forced into this.” Tahu could only watch as tears began to stream down her face, and his vision became blurred as well. “You couldn’t bring yourself to kill me because you never could comprehend the bad in me. Why I murdered so many beings. Why I became so power-hungry. And I couldn’t bring myself to kill you because I could never comprehend how I much I admired the fact that you were the opposite of me. How much I wished we could...balance each other out, and together we could be infinite.” Kiina stirred, but Tahu did not notice as he continued to listen to Helryx, almost as if he was entranced. “But I struggled. I tried to repress the truth of why, and it only made me into worse. I went against everything Mata Nui had stood for, everything that went against my own moral code. I had no control over myself. And that’s because I didn’t.” To Be Concluded… ===
  4. All I can say is...you're not prepared. === Special 5: Hyyrt yf thy Myyntyyn Narrator: Wow. This city...it’s desolate. Striker: What happened? I can’t believe Meta. He’s really screwed everything over this time. Narrator: I don’t think it was Meta. Formata: It was time. Striker: Formata! You’re here? Why aren’t you in NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD? Formata: Well, that place is definitely a disaster too. Censorer, Transition Guy, and I tried to take over the comedy. Narrator: How’d you do it? Formata: Meta was censored. Striker: Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Formata: And then we realized running a comedy isn’t fun. In fact, it sucks. Striker: Not surprising. Except I actually enjoy it. Formata: Normally, I’d question why you’re so much of a dork and indulge in the dumbest of pastimes, but the comedy is literally falling apart at the seams. Come help us. TSO: Wait, I’m back on land. Does this mean I’m alive again? I can almost see the…wait… WAIT, COME BACK, ROODAKA! I’LL BE RIGHT THERE! Formata: Uh--- Narrator: Ignore him. TSO: You know, I’m not deaf. Narrator: Look, just give us until the end of this special. We’ll let you know by then. At the Top of NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD… TG: NEX! STOP PUNCHING HOLES IN THE WALL! Nex: *removes fist from wall* There was a FOURTH WALL joke! Censorer: This place is literally going to fall apart. Meta: *rips Flex Tape off mouth* That’s it. You fools have played with me long enough. I’m not going to let this comedy fall apart. Censorer: You’re the REASON it’s falling apart! Meta: You don’t know how to run a comedy! All you do is shut people up! Censorer: That’s my job! Meta: EXACTLY!! TG: This is worse than I thought it was going to be. On the Streets of Comedy City… TSO: OW! What just hit my neck?? Formata: *looking up* Nex must’ve hit the fourth wall again. Narrator: Tsk, tsk. What a faker of a narrator. Formata: Wait. What’s happening to my formatting? Are my powers running out? Striker: Oh no. Formata: Striker, this is bad. You have to go up there… Striker: The comedy...it’s actually falling apart… JUST GO UP THERE ALREADY Narrator? Was that you? Guys, I’m not even formatting it like this. This is an atrocity. I believe you, Formata. Oh, Ranox. I better head up there. in the tower. u know wich 1!!! this has to be a joke. y is evrythin dissolvin in2 the most vlasic form of txt meta. cut it out. meta? which sandwich is wich? well, at least we all no dat was tg. thx nex. tg, can u transition us somwhr? lk, nd th chptr? n. w’r stk n ths frmt. nd w dn’t hv vwls ls. ths s rdcls. myb mt’s dd. s “y” vwl? gss nt. wt. wyyt. y thynk y knyw hyw wy cyn bypyss thys. y y. oh no. y y yy yy y y. we can only speak in ys. yy yy yy yy yy y y. there’s only one fate worse than this. the scene shifts!! “ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Narrator screamed, flying through the portal. It soon opened up, and Narrator flew out of it, faceplanting on the floor. He stood up, seeing nothing but blackness. “Where am I?” he queried. “Where do you think you are, grand being?” a gravelly voice asked. Narrator jumped. Right in front of him, a beam of light shone. And there, in the beam of light, was the old and crazy inventing Turaga Nuju. “Welcome to the wig salon,” Nuju said as a neon sign lit up, displaying the words ‘WIG SALON RETIREMENT HOME’. “Where characters go after they die, in story at least.” “What? But I’m not dead!” “Oh, but of course you are. I fell 4 stories into an enlarged bucket, for crying out loud! Then Metus got stomped into the sand, that Gresh dude got clubbed in the head, The Shadowed One got decapitated, Vastus was crushed, that BH form of Ahkmou shrunk, Tuma fell off a cliff, and Berix got hit with a shadow hand. So, how could you possibly say that you’re not dead, grand being?” wait. guys! I am here. The one, the only Striker---wait. Is that Narrator? in the wig salon? Why am I silver? oh, no… “Oh, quite simple. I annoyed my master ever-so much that he ordered me to the wig salon for eternity.” sounds about right. well, at least i was forward in The Adventures of Tahu. “And he didn’t even, like, give you poisoned protodermis?” “I’m pretty sure that isn’t even allowed in the comedy. But no, he did nothing to me.” “So you’re not dead. But why are you here?” “I kept questioning him, and I tree-spoke in front of him. Apparently everything’s perfect in—well, my company.” “Oh, you can state the company. CS has no power over this world,” Nuju said, walking away. “Not even TN:TS has power over this world.” wait. I have no power over this world? “Wait!” Narrator yelled, catching up to the Turaga. There wasn’t really much to catch up to, though, knowing that it had took the inventor a solid six years to create the legendary Transport. “Not even my master?” “Yes, apparently this place was created by an old Great Being named Ranox, who made him. And despite the fact that TTM, the old TN:TS, and his teammates overpowered him, not even TN:TS at his highest point of power could create an underworld.” “Gulp.” wait stop hold on--- In Roxtus… Makuta was eventually given leadership by Stronius, eventually meaning six seconds. Stronius took Skrawr and sped out of the room, and were never seen again by the Rock Tribe. The tribe was renamed the Makuta Skrall, and an empire was born. But unfortunately for Teridax, he had to attend the annual conference held by the Glatorian system, which the Skrall were still part of. Usually the conferences were long and boring, but this one would be interesting, with the battle that had occurred just a few days earlier. “So…why must I go to this thing, Smartius?” Makuta queried. “Because technically,” Smartius responded, “we are still part of the Glatorian system. Tuma, for some reason, stayed with it, but was planning to leave it soon.” “Well, I am breaking away from it at that meeting,” Makuta stated. “Now that we are our own empire, I have no use for that Rebel scum.” i can’t read anymore. meta, if you’re there, i’m so sorry...i should have trusted you. i should’ve trusted to let the funny side of me have some fun. this comedy is a comedy for a reason, right? but you’re also wrong. this needs to be a story, with structure. and, like i learned the hard way, your coworkers are your lifeblood. they’ll always give their best to support you but you need to give them respect. meta… “I’ve come to apologize.” TTP sighed. “No. It’s my fault. I let my city go to ruins. I’m a failure.” “You couldn’t have helped it. You and I both know that.” Meta stood up and laid his hand on the jail cell door, turning it gold. “I should’ve listened to you. You…were right.” TTP looked at the floor, deep in thought. Finally, he spoke up. “All I want to do is end this terror.” “That’s what I want to do too. But we had different opinions on how to solve it. And you knew, better than me, that I could lose my power.” striker… it feels like history repeats sometimes, doesn’t it? yeah, you change your name way too much for anyone to be able to keep track of who you actually are. but i’m still here. i’ll always be here. because i’m Part of You. you know. you acting sappy is really sappy. but i’ll allow it. because otherwise we may never get back to Tahu’s Antics: Orderly Turmoil. i didn’t apologize yet though! yeah! i messed up bad. this comedy can’t be all fun and games. it actually means something to the both of us. and at the same time, it can’t be a dictatorship. we don’t need to make the orderly empire a reality. that’d be treacherous we good? one million percent whew, that was way easier than I thought it was going to be. i will say, though. i’m gonna miss having my own real estate. you mean Name and Address Withheld, right? you better mean that. you just revealed NAW’s full name? oh, yeah, right, censorer is still “y”-ing. we should go fix that rn rt big things are happening. all the holes in the walls are repaired by the magic of spackle. comedy city is still deserted, but it’s no longer on the verge of apocalypse. everyone starts using letters that are definitely vowels and consonants again, and the only font is Times New Roman. Huzzah. TG: I never thought we’d make it out of that mess. Narrator: Oh, come on, Transition Guy. We promised. Censorer: But who did we really promise? The vacant Comedies forum that still hasn’t responded to this thread? MetaStriker: We promised ourselves. Formata: Finally, a color that makes sense for you. I’ve been waiting for this day to come for forever. MetaStriker: Or, put more bluntly, I promised myself. Guardius: And it would be against the law if you broke that promise. You’d be thrown into the Wig Salon. MetaStriker: And we can’t have that happening again, can we? TG: You think we can do this? MetaStriker: I have no doubt. Extra Guy, start us off. EG: WITH PLEASURE! EXTRA! EXTRA! is a subdivision of Tahu’s Antics: Orderly Turmoil, which in itself is a subdivision of NAW, which in itself is a property under |MetaStriker Productions|.. ©2018 All rights reserved. TSO: WAIT!! WHAT ABOUT ME?! I CAN ALMOST SEE THE LIGHT--- End of Special 5 === y
  5. === Chapter 9: Breaking Out Towards the Center of Metru Nui… “There’s no guaran-sea that we won’t swim into any of the Empire’s marines down here. But I fink we’ll be alright,” Pridak assured, opening the underwater passageway. Orkahm swam behind the door to the passageway, reading its label: “METRU NUI SANITATION ASSURANCE SYSTEM.” He followed the others into the tunnel, gawking. “You’re kidding me. A sewer system?” “I’m sorry, would you rather be murdered at the fins of the Empire?” Mantax retorted, snickering. “Oops,” Carapar muttered, ensuring the door was locked behind him. “I guess there’s no turning back now.” Orkahm gulped. The Barraki chuckled. In the Coliseum… “Attention all residents of Metru Nui: and yes, we know there’s actual residents. We know you’re hiding somewhere beyond the reaches of the Visorak and the Orderly Militia. You’ve done well to make your statement. On behalf of Her Orderly Empress, I, Roodaka, Mayor of Metru Nui, would like to let you all know that we have received your generous sacrifice to the Orderly Empire. Her Orderly General has relished in seeing his brother before his destined execution. If you value your own lives, and wish to see your “creator” one last time, come to the Coliseum to be spared and swear your full allegiance under the Empire. If you choose to ignore this rather generous offer, I will order my Visorak to scour every nook and cranny of this metropolis, on the ground, above the ground in every building and up to the gates of Mangaia, and below the ground, stretching as far as the bottom of the Silver Sea, down to the depths of the Core Processor. Not one life will be spared, and your death will be anything but painless. This is your choice. You have two hours.” Clicking off the loudspeaker, Roodaka turned around to face Karzahni and Artakha, who lay on the floor after hours of being beaten. “Get up, you. It’s time.” Karzahni whipped at Artakha again, who jumped up, almost tripping backwards on his shackles. “Honestly, I’m kind of relieved.” “It was nice to have your company again, brother. One last time.” Artakha sighed. “I’m sure it was.” Karzahni attached one of his chains to his shackles, and yanked at them, pulling Artakha forward and out of the room. On the Streets of Metru Nui… “I haven’t seen the streets this quiet since after you liberated the city,” Dume mused as he walked with Onewa, Nokama, and Matau. “We can’t be doing this. I can’t believe we’re doing this.” “Onewa, what else can we do?” queried Matau. “It’s not like this is some sort of false alarm-warning. She’s never muttered anything other than GlaDOS’s lines from Portal on the loudspeaker before.” “But we’ve come so far---” “No, we haven’t. Just because we had one successful uprising where we killed TSO, kidnapped Teridax, and had a chance to take back our city?” Matau scoffed, though he was noticeably upset. “We planned for years. I wish it had been for more than nothing. But I don’t think it was. This is the end.” Oh my Great Beings. I can’t do this anymore. It’s too morbid. Who knew writing was so hard? It feels like we’re just injecting every sour feeling we’ve experienced over our years of employment in NAW into the characters, details, and entire atmosphere of this series. Jeez. I’m going to be honest. I really don’t like narrating. It’s okay, Nex. We really don’t like you either. But we can’t end the chapter here! We have to try to get through this. Actually...I have some of MetaStriker’s drafts for this ending on backlog. If you care to use them. Yeah, I’ll just narrate them and be on my way. Sounds good. In the Coliseum… As the Toa, Matoran, and Turaga of the Resistance filed into the seats, Artakha stood, chained to grating in the center of the Coliseum. Equidistant to him stood six pillars, where, next to them, the Toa Mahri were sharpening their weapons. “Come on, come on, there’s definitely enough seats,” Roodaka chided as her voice rippled across the loudspeaker. “Are they all in?” “Yes, Roodaka. Closing the gates now.” Icarax and Antroz bolted the gates shut as a horde of Visorak swarmed by, combing the city for anyone who did not enter the Coliseum in time. “Thank you all for joining us. I will say that this was a rather sudden turn of events for us,” Roodaka remarked, chuckling. “We weren’t expecting luck to turn in our favor this easily. I didn’t have to lift a finger.” “What’s wrong??” Vhisola asked as Kopaka’s eyes widened. “The Visorak are speeding across the city,” answered Kopaka as he visualized the map with his mask. “And there’s hundreds of the others above us.” “Well, what are we going to do?” said Tehutti. Kopaka surfaced, ripping off his breathing device and handing it to one of the Barraki. He looked up at the single grate, stories above. They were beneath the Coliseum. “Get back!” Concentrating his energy, Kopaka froze the water beneath and around him into a circular platform of ice, crouched down, and sprung up from the grate as the platform rose into a giant icicle. As Kopaka flipped and landed on his feet on the floor of the Coliseum, he willed the icicle to shatter, sending shards of ice pointed at the Mahri, Makuta, and Dark Hunters in the arena and guarding the seats, as well as allowing the Barraki and Matoran to climb up to the arena floor. Stunned, Roodaka muttered into the loudspeaker, “Oh, CRACKLENUTS.” To Be Concluded… ===
  6. Everything changes, now and forever. === Chapter 8: Irreversible On Keetongu’s Island… “Stop right there.” Takanuva, Toa of Twilight, froze immediately, nearly falling over in the green, grassy field. To his left, Axonn unsheathed his axe and took an offensive stance, holding his axe down at his side and stepping out and forward. “You...how did you--” “My brother couldn’t really get his head in the right dimension, it seems. Axxie knows. Bad pun,” the titan grunted. “But I’ve been through a lot in the past few months.” “I can tell. You’re mixing up your first-person and third-person and it’s really confusing.” “You know, Axxie never understood why you were always such a pain. It never seemed like you trusted the Faction.” “It didn’t really help that you never put me in Her Special Guard.” Taka unsheathed his staff, staring down Axonn. “And you had a spot open.” “Roasting your dead friend? Wow, how nice of you. Although to be fair, I would do the same to my sad excuse of a brother.” “In all honesty, I didn’t even know that you had a brother. Whatever.” Taka rushed forward at Axonn, who swung his axe down in tandem, catching Taka’s staff. Taka quickly dove out of the way as he let go of his weapon, letting it fall onto the soft ground. Raising his axe again, Axonn snarled as Taka blinded the titan, allowing the Toa to quickly snatch his staff and knock the axe away. As Taka kicked Axonn to the ground, he placed his foot onto Axonn’s chest and prepared a blast of light from his staff, yet shadow emitted now from the tip. Siphoning the dark energy, Axonn pushed himself off the ground and onto his feet, sending Taka flying across the plain to crumple in a heap some distance away. Axonn chuckled. “This is actually pretty hilarious. You see, this is what you get for trying to save Gali and the Mahri. And as Axxie sees, the shadow is eating away at you. You’re turning into a shell of your former self.” Taka shuddered as he plunged his staff into the ground, hoisting himself up slowly. His armor was a darker gold. “At least I still have some of my former self. You’ve completely lost the good in you.” “Did you just say something serious? Sorry, it went right over Axxie’s head,” the titan chuckled as he crept towards Taka. “And what you’re saying...I don’t understand. You stood for Mata Nui. You stood for an order of hope. But who you’ve followed...what you’ve done...has caused nothing but an order of turmoil for us.” “So what are you standing for? What chance do you think you have to stop that?” Axonn stopped and chuckled, having just reached Taka. He brandished his axe, raising it in the air. “You stood with us for eight years without question. Without fail. And you believed we were right. And now, all of a sudden, you don’t? Why should I believe you?” “I never stood for the Empire. When the Orderly Empire was founded, I snuck into Mata Nui and realized that Lewa didn’t die from not getting the Great Sundial. I was the one who turned Artakha against the Empire. I was the one who rallied the Turaga to form the Resistance, and I, along with Nuju, was the first Leader of the Resistance.” “You traitor!!!” Axonn hurled his axe up and to the side, snarling. As the grassy plains were moistening by the first few drops of rainfall, Axonn lurched forward and let go of his axe, which flew behind him, far to the right. Mata Nui ripped his sword out of Axonn’s back, causing the titan to crumple forward, screeching in pain. He held out his hand to Taka. “Thank you. For never giving up on me.” Taka, speechless, took his hand, feeling a short burst of energy. He didn’t hesitate to step on Axonn as he continued aching, and collapsed in the Great Spirit’s arms. “Brutaka. Take him to Keetongu immediately. If the Shadow Leeches consume his entire being, he could very well die.” “No.” Axonn grunted, pushing himself up. He lunged at Mata Nui, who jumped back. “Dude, you don’t know what you’re doing. Let me finish him off. Axxie knows how to.” Mata Nui chuckled. “You don’t know who I am, do you?” Axonn looked plainly at him. “No idea. Nice mask, though. Helryx has been looking for that for over ten years...wait a minute.” Axonn walked closer to Mata Nui, who edged back slightly. “Nah. Still haven’t got a clue.” Brutaka glared at Axonn, slowly unsheathing his sword. “Get away from him.” Axonn chuckled, snapping away from Mata Nui. “But thanks for giving me the chance to kill my brother. Axxie will treasure this moment.” “I’m sure he will.” Angered, Brutaka shoved his sword at Axonn, who quickly dodged it and backflipped to safety. Reaching out to his axe, the weapon hovered to him and he took it, slashing through the air in anger. “Mata Nui, run.” “He’ll kill you. Brutaka, we need you.” Brutaka sighed. “No one has ever needed me.” He ran his hand down his mask, feeling its scratches, cracks, and raw power course through one last time. A light blue flash of lightning struck the ground a few feet from him, and Brutaka straightened his posture for the first time in years, his eyes flashing red. “But I need to fulfill my destiny.” Above Keetongu’s Island… As Mata Nui and Taka closed the door safely behind them in Keetongu’s hut, and Brutaka’s energy began to wane in his stand against his brother, a quaint, light-blue portal hovered in the sky. A teardrop joined the millions of rain droplets falling from the sky. “I needed you.” Concentrating a burst of energy, Vezon hurled a giant thunderbolt towards Axonn, quickly turning away and closing the portal before anyone could notice. He could not look or help any further. Spotting the thunder hurtling towards him, Axonn quickly chucked his axe at Brutaka and dove to the ground. As his axe split the Olmak into pieces and dug into Brutaka’s skull, the thunderbolt struck Axonn with a force mightier than that of a Nuva Blast, and his yell was muted by the mere sound of the resounding thunderclap. After the Rain… As Taka opened the door leading out of Keetongu’s hut, he could smell the fresh dew on the rolling hills and plains of the small island, mixing with the burnt stench of dirt, grass, and toasted BIONICLEs. “Eugh.” Waving to Keetongu one last time and petting his Klakk, Taka walked outside and slowly closed the door behind him. In the distance, he could see Mata Nui meditating silently next to the body of Brutaka. He ran over to him. “I’m so sorry.” Mata Nui breathed out and opened his eyes. “I am sorry too. I didn’t want this to happen. But it had to.” “That’s life,” Taka replied. Neither of them said anything for minutes after. “You know, I never thought, ten years after Lewa sacrificed himself for me...I never thought that beings would still have such high hopes. Such great motivation.” “We did. We believed in you.” “No. You believed in yourselves.” Another minute passed. Finally, Mata Nui stood up, dropping a few flowers on Brutaka’s body. “We should go. I was gifted the Axalara T9 from your fellow Av-Matoran in Karda Nui.” Taka was confused. “My who?” “Ah, right. You don’t remember.” The two started walking to the shore. “I’ll tell you on the way to Metru Nui.” “How do you know all of this stuff? How did you know I was here? And where’s Axonn?” Mata Nui stopped, looking back at Brutaka’s body. “Actually. It didn’t even occur to me where that one might be. I saw no sign of him among the wreckage. No matter. I’m sure we won’t run into him again. Carry on.” To Be Continued… === Chapter 9 is next. ~Meta
  7. === Special 4: A Smashing Comeback Narrator: Alright, can we just establish that the end of that last special was so cringey? Striker: Thank you so much. It probably drove away even more people from reading this comedy. Narrator: And that’s just great, considering that no one has even commented in this thread. Striker: Maybe we’re getting negative reads. Narrator: That makes absolutely no sense. Speaking of which, that’s an interesting title for this special. Where do the titles even come from if no one from NAW scripted this? Striker: That’s actually a really good question. It almost makes me feel as if I’m a figment of my own imagination. Berix: This almost makes me feel as if we’re conspiracy theorists. Which we’re not. Stronius: Oh please, ‘ow else d’you think we took over Bara Magna? Berix: Where are we, anyway? The path just turned completely dark. TSO: Wait. It suddenly got really hot in here. Stronius: I ‘aven’t felt sun on mah back like this since I ‘as alive. Berix: I would turn around, but I’m worried about my eyesight. TSO: Easy for you to say. Narrator: Stop whining. I’ll just do it...oh, no. Fiery Smash Ball Logo: *forms in Narrator’s pupil* Striker: Wow. And I thought my past comedies were done haunting me. Narrator: Haven’t I been haunting you this entire time? Striker: Well, yes. Can’t deny that. But you never detracted from the plot this badly. This literally made The Fire Chronicles a BIONICLE-Nintendo mashup fanfiction, and it could not have been more out of place. Snake: What, you’re saying I should have never been in the series? I led Team Reclaim to victory! I saved countless Nintendo characters from prison in the Orderly Fortress! I was a vital character and you know it! Striker: Yeah, you don’t need to italicize every other word to get your point across. I get it. Snake: At least I don’t italicize every word. Narrator: No. We’re not doing this again. Sheik: What do you mean? I’d really enjoy the chance to blast this dingus over his sexist portrayal of me---as an incompetent scrub---in Terror. That was not okay. Kirby: Kirby!!! Pikachu: JEHCK-OO-KHOO-KHOO! Narrator: ...why is Pikachu voiced by Danny DeVito? Pikachu: Rule Number Ninety-Five, kid. Concentrate. Narrator: ...I was going to say, we should just fight over this. You know, like you do in the game. Striker: To be fair, that might not be the best course of action for Snake here. He didn’t get into Smash 4. Snake: You really just love making enemies for yourself, don’t you? Striker: The fact that Cloud...CLOUD STRIFE, FROM A GAME THAT NEVER RELEASED ON A NINTENDO SYSTEM...GOT IN and YOU didn’t. Narrator: Seriously, though. Chill with the formatting. Snake: *pulls out grenade* Too late. It’s showtime. Narrator: Ah, just like old times. Weak comebacks, pointless fights, and a nonexistent plot. Snake: *double-jabs Narrator, knocking him to the ground, and uses his Cypher to hover up to a rising platform* Let the past die. Striker: Well, here’s something Link couldn’t do in the old games. Narrator: What do you mean? Striker: *snaps fingers, transforming into Link from Breath of the Wild. Jumps up, climbing on the sides and reaching the top of the platform.* Snake: You’re just really trying to rub it in my face, aren’t you? You know I won’t appear in Smash for Switch! It’s okay! I’m over it! Narrator: Actually, you do. Snake: WAIT?! REALLY?! Narrator: But your butt is smaller. Snake: ...THAT WAS THE BEST PART!! Sheik: Well, Snake, welcome to the human race. Snake: THAT’S MY LINE! Striker: *uses Stasis on Snake, freezing him in place* Just shut up already. *loads arrow after arrow at him, as he turns redder and redder* Snake: *unfreezes, blown back, gets caught by Magnesis. Is slowly brought back by the Sheikah Slate to the battlefield and hurled up and down into the ground.* Sheik, this is OP!!! BAN HIM!!! Sheik: Gladly. *teleports onto the platform, knocking Striker away with her Bouncing Fish move* Striker: *uses Paraglider to float safely to ground. Watches as Snake and Sheik are joined by Fox, R.O.B., and Danny DeVito-voiced Pikachu. Fox: *pats R.O.B. on the head* This has been a long time coming, old friend. R.O.B.: Beeping don’t touch me. Pikachu: Concentrate. Sheik: Out of any fighters who could’ve joined us, why did it have to be you three? Pikachu: I’m the TRASHMAN. Sheik: Oh, Goddess Hylia. Snake: STOP BANTERING! SMASH HIM!! Narrator: This is so eventful. Snake: WHEN DID I ASK FOR YOUR INPUT? Striker: Leave him alone! *takes picture of Snake with the Sheikah Slate, blinding him just long enough for Striker to swipe at him with the Master Sword. R.O.B. fires Super Robo Beam at Striker, but it is blocked as Striker’s shield shatters.* Great. Sheik: See, this is why the ways of the old Sheikah were superior. Things were simpler and did not break so easily. Striker: You’re literally Zelda. Sheik: And you’re literally an arse. R.O.B.: But in Bleep for Wii U--- Fox: Star Fox Bleep. R.O.B.: I didn’t bleeping miss you. Striker: *tries to use Clawshot. Realizes he doesn’t have a Clawshot.* Snake: This is taking way too long. Wow. You folks are really so useless. Narrator: Hence why you aren’t in Orderly Turmoil. TSO: You know, I may be a bozo, but at least I was in the comedy. Heck, I even made it past the first season. Sheik: *shoots needles at Narrator and co.* You think you’re that special, huh? Like you deserve to be back in Comedy City. We thought we deserved it, too. We fought hard. Snake: *moves rocket launcher to face Striker* But you...you *points at Striker* are the reason we lost. You didn’t give us a chance. It’s not our fault we were overused plot devices in the original comedy. It’s all yours. *fires* Striker: *glances down at the approaching rocket. Takes the hit, flying off the stage, past its blast lines and towards Comedy City* Narrator: But he doesn’t make it. He crashes into the cliff of the city, not even halfway up, and falls with a resounding thud, denting the roof of the elevator up and shaking the surrounding cables. He gets up surprisingly quickly, fading back into his original form. Striker: You’re right. And I can’t change what I did. But I am going to keep moving forward. *vaults over the roof and down into the elevator car, which starts ascending* Fox: Oh, no. That’s actually OP. GET HIM!! Narrator: Everyone starts hustling towards the elevator, but only Snake and I can get on. We start scfuffling. Snake: You fool. You really think things are going to change for you? He didn’t change back then. He won’t change now. Narrator: Like you said. Let the past die. Snake: Then what happens now? Narrator: Well, this is the part where I narrate myself roundhouse-kicking you down to the ground. Bye. Elevator: *creaks to the top* Striker: I honestly can’t thank you enough. Narrator: For everything you’ve done for me? Brother, you and I have come a long way. I’d take nothing of it back. TSO: Me neither. Narrator: ...of course you made it. You’re hanging on the bottom of the elevator? TSO: If that’s what this ledge is. I thought this was that battlefield platform. Striker: Don’t worry. It’ll be a bloodbath when I encounter that Part of Me. Snake: *on the ground* Hey, I'm not done with you yet! This is your final destinat--- *gets stabbed* Ridley: *kills Snake, turning towards the rest of the Smash characters, twirling around Snake's headband in his claws sinisterly* Fox: Just what I need to see. R.O.B.: We're bleeping dead. Fox: Ditto. End of Special 4 === Chapter 8 coming next. Hope you enjoyed the last of my Nintendo-BIONICLE crossovers. I swear I won't put any of you through this terror again. ~Meta
  8. ...Hello, BZPower. It's been a while. I have missed you, you know. I made a promise to you. One I wanted to keep. And one I'm still going to keep. === Chapter 7: Holding On In the Archives… “This is not going to help. We cannot just keep having meeting after meeting, asking where they are. It is probably just too late.” “That’s what you say, Nokama? After all we’ve been through? After all you did?” Matau jeered. “Stop getting on her!” Onewa commanded. “You cannot blame her. We cannot blame anyone.” “That’s enough.” Dume slammed down his gavel, looking sternly at Matau. “This Resistance Council is doing the best it can to make sure it does not fall to Roodaka. And everything else.” Six months had passed since the Resistance had revealed itself, and its efforts all but fizzled as the Orderly Empire recovered and reorganized itself. As Helryx executed Order 44, Karzahni unleashed the Orderly Military, consisting of Makuta and Dark Hunters, to hunt and exterminate the Toa and Turaga. No one could have imagined the damage they would cause. The Resistance, which had at one point been so energized and motivated that the Orderly Faction feared for their lives, had essentially been crushed before its efforts had even begun. Sure, the assassination of TSO, seizure of the Coliseum, and kidnapping of Makuta Teridax all went well initially, but everything tipped so easily back into the favor of the Empire. As the Orderly Military poured into Metru Nui, hordes of Visorak encircled the island, bordering all coasts and preventing anyone from escaping. If any Toa or Turaga was above ground and found, they were murdered instantly without question. After that night, no one ever saw Vakama, Whenua, or Pohatu again. “Look.” Kopaka stood, trembling. “We can’t…hide any longer. We can’t keep blaming people anymore. Whether it’s them…or us.” Dume slammed down his gavel, motioning to Kopaka to continue. The other Turaga fell silent. “Thank you, Turaga Dume. We can’t keep living like this! What are we going to keep doing? How much longer do you think Roodaka will wait? She’s been aching to prove her worth to Karzahni and the Empire for years.” Matau, much more respectfully than before, raised his hand. “So what are you thinking-saying? Should we just waltz-walk out of the Archives and allow-let the Militia to snipe us from afar?” “It’s not an army.” Kopaka tapped his mask. “Over the past few months I’ve been analyzing their movements to the best of my ability. Reception down here may be terrible, but a few boosters certainly helped the situation.” “…and you didn’t bother to say-tell us until now?” “I prefer to work alone, without a team of four cranky Turaga breathing on my neck.” Dume rolled his eyes. “Well then. Please tell us what you’ve found.” Kopaka dropped something on the floor, sliding off to the side as a giant, detailed holographic map of Metru Nui dotted with hundreds of colored dots appeared next to him. “…or show us. It seems you learned a fair bit from Turaga Nuju.” “When I wasn’t serving on Her Special Guard with the other Nuva, I basically lived in that lab. I just never knew his inventions were going towards a resistance.” “Oh, they weren’t. Nuju was just a madman. Anyway, please.” Kopaka motioned to the bottom right of the map, where a small key was conveniently placed. “Red marks the Makuta and Mahri, Green marks the Visorak, Yellow marks the Dark Hunters. Purple marks us.” “Why violet-purple?” Matau questioned. “We have kaput-nothing to do with the color purple.” “Can you please stop interrupting me? Anyway, we all—” he pointed to the practically purple blob in Onu-Metru “—are here. Surrounding the coast and in the center of each Metru are the Visorak,” Kopaka continued, running his finger along the green border of the map. “The Makuta and Mahri are heavily concentrated in the Coliseum; I would assume they’re considered the elite forces of the Orderly Army in guarding the Core Processor. And the Dark Hunters guard in the center and on the borders of each Metru.” “As for Roodaka and Karzahni, they typically do not remain in just one place. They could be right above us right now or as far away as the other side of the city. It’s impossible to know.” “But you…you’ve really outdone yourself here.” Nokama was beaming. “This is incredible. You know that. Fellow members of the Council, we have to approve usage of this. And actually use it. In battle. To take back our city.” “I concur,” said Onewa, barely hesitating. “So that’s two votes. And Matau—” Dume glared at him, “even if you were to digress, you would still lose.” “I wasn’t going to.” “Shocking.” Dume slammed down his gavel. “The Council rules in favor of your proposition. The Resistance will reconvene tonight and we will organize a search party for tomorrow.” “A search?? For what?” “Kopaka, as happy I am to see that someone here has determination, we cannot fight alone. We need help.” The Next Morning… “Okay, you guys might want to close your eyes and blink when we first get out of here. It’s going to be bright.” “What if someone attacks us?” asked Ehyre. “I have my Akaku. Seeing won’t be a problem for me.” “I feel like you mention that too often,” said Artakha. “I mean, I don’t go around saying that I have the Mask of Creation.” “That’s because the Mask of Creation was useless until Generation 2,” Tehutti jested. *SMASH* Is that how you do it? Were you just trying to break the fourth wall? Because that’s just a hole in the wall. Oh wow. You literally just punched the wall. What else was I supposed to do? Maybe, you know, conserve our budgeting. We haven’t gotten income in the past six months. …we don’t get paid, remember? Let’s make a mental note to fix that if we ever get our hands on some money. We’ll just split it evenly between the three of us. Four. Five. …wait a second. Who actually does the most work here? I don’t know what the comedy would be like without my transitions. Now just hold up a second. This comedy would have been banned from BZP if I wasn’t here to censor out certain ideas and words. Is it really that bad? It could be. You wouldn’t want this comedy to turn into a cheesy fanfiction, would you? I narrate! I add all the flair of prose to the story! Who would read a comedy if it was just lines with no context? Technically, that’s exactly what’s happening right now. And I’d hope there’s still people reading this even with your CENSORED puns. I protect all of you guys. And jail you if you’re all being unfair. The very way you judge is unfair, and you can’t deny that. You’re the whole reason Narrator isn’t here anymore. So, then, obviously I’m the most important. You’re lying to yourself and you know it. Look, I may be a fool but I’m not deLUSiONAL What What is going on Who in Mata Nui’s name is registering our words in 20pt purple Comic Sans MS …I think we should go back to the story before this needs to go any further. In Ga-Metru… Artakha was uneasy. “I feel him. He’s here.” Kopaka handed him a breathing device. “Then we’ll do everything we can to make his day horrendous.” He dove in, followed by the Metrutoran. Artakha stood at the edge. He couldn’t bear seeing his brother again, after years of being imprisoned by him on his very own island. The damage Karzahni had done…murdering all of Artakha’s Crystal Serpents, desecrating both natural and artificial aspects of the island. The only thing that remained—Artakha’s fortress, was vacated except for its namesake, his inventions, and the very criminal who tore everything apart from him. Yet he thought of Nuhrii, the Ta-Matoran who had freed him. He unironically saw fire in the being, passion, determination to break against the norms of evil. As he watched Karzahni fall to the hands of the Matoran, Artakha had felt like crying. He felt infinitely grateful for the opportunity Nuhrii had given him to live. It was for this reason that Artakha dove into the waters of Ga-Metru—and was immediately grabbed and hurled into the depths of the waters by Karzahni. Closer to the Center of Ga-Metru… “Stay close,” Kopaka warned. “Anything can happen right now.” “Anything can happen at any point,” Vhisola retorted. “But okay.” Kopaka sighed. “Remind me never to chaperone a group of Matoran again. I should have taken Chiara and Orde, honestly.” “Who are they?” asked Ehyre. “Exactly.” The center was finally in sight, except it wasn’t because it was encapsulated in the dark green webbing of the Visorak. Assorted neon lights faintly shone underneath the nest. “There.” “Wait, you’re taking us clubbing tonight?” said Orkahm. “Hopefully not. I hate clubbing.” Kopaka dove down and disappeared underneath the nest. The others followed suit. They floated next to a door, bordered by soft blue and pink neon lights. Kopaka pressed a button, and a soft buzzing sound rang on the other side. A being on the other side shifted aside the eyehole. “Password.” “Password,” Kopaka replied. The being grunted, twisting the knob on the other side to open the door. Carapar hastily motioned for the group to enter, closing the door quickly once they had all entered. The hideout of the Barraki was small yet spacious for the six warlords, and Carapar pointed to a set of chairs and couches for the group to sit on as Kalmah brought drinks to them. “We were expecting you. Finally.” “It’s been years since we saw you six. I probably don’t even remember, if it was before we arrived at Mata Nui,” Kopaka sipped his drink. “I’m frankly surprised you’ve stayed alive.” “They know we’re here,” Mantax said, lighting a small torch to set down on the coffee table. “Thankfully, they don’t want anyfin to do with us. Perhaps it was compensation for stealing our chance to krill the Mahri and obtain the Mask of Life.” “Trust me, we wish we could kill the Mahri too,” Orkahm muttered under his breath. Tehutti slapped him. “It’s not their fault. They’re just brainwashed. They all are.” “Even Ahkmou? What happened to him, Tehutti? Was he brainwashed by Shadow Leeches like the Mahri. You think there’s still good in him. That’s funny.” “...so, the Resistance Council approved my ‘plan.’ And now here we are,” said Kopaka, finishing his explanation of the situation. “Trust me. I’ve wanted to go after those boneless freaks for years,” said Pridak after some time. “The Makuta and Dark Hunters both betrayed us. And we’ve never cared for any of your kind, but the other side has gone way overboard.” “But how do you expect us to do this?” questioned Ehlek. “You fink we’re just going to ally with you and risk losing everything? We’ve done fine for nine years without talking to either side and you need us because you’d flounder without us.” “And, you sea, even if we took your opportunaty, we don’t even have our army. We haven’t for nine years. We’ve been unable to leave this Metru for nine years. But we’ve been happy here,” added Kalmah. “Maybe you could take that as advice.” Takadox had remained silent up to this point, but she had watched Kopaka and his team’s expressions fall as each warlord voiced their disapproval. “Guys. We can’t confinue to be shellfish. I fink we should help them.” Pridak glared at him. “Water you talking about? They’ll poach us!” “They would probubbly poach us eventunally anyway! We have a choice here, why don’t we just take it?” “I mean, it would be nice to leave here,” Kalmah mused. “Seems like it’s for a good porpoise too.” “Enough with the fish puns. Pridak, what do you think?” Pridak rolled his eyes at Kopaka. “Only if you let us make fish puns.” He extended his fin, and Kopaka immediately took it and shook. In the Coliseaum… ...I mean, In the Coliseum… Artakha helplessly squirmed, wrapped in layers of Visorak webbing, as Karzahni whipped at him with his chains. “I missed you, brother.” Karzahni kicked him. “I don’t like your sarcasm, brother.” “You two are so immature. Grow up.” Roodaka put her hand on Karzahni’s shoulder and spun him around from facing his brother. He instantly relaxed his clenched fists and let his chains fall to the floor. “Sorry, honey. I don’t want to kill him.” “Sure seems like it,” Artakha scoffed. “Shut your trap. We’ve been waiting to find one of your kind for months. And now you can tell us where they are,” Roodaka sneered. “We’ve always known you’ve been out there.” “You should just join us. Let the past die.” Karzahni smiled, holding out his hand to his brother. Artakha chuckled. “Karzahni. My hands are wrapped in this stupid little cocoon. And even if they weren’t, I still wouldn’t join you.” Karzahni’s face fell as he picked up his chains, brandishing them inches away from Artakha as they burst into flames. “Well, then. I’m sorry, brother. We have no choice.” To Be Continued… === Yes, clearly this is not Interview #2. But never fear! Special #4 is near! As always, be sure to let me know what you thought of this chapter, or previous chapters. Hope you're all having the best of lives. ~Meta
  9. MetaStriker


    hi smash looks really good. the inklings look like a worthwhile, dare i say, FRESH addition to the roster. i could have never expected ridley to actually get in after sakurai denying him due to his size, but i guess that was part of the surprise factor. he'll be one of the first characters i try. I think the best part about it is that it's a celebration of video games. You can see it in the sheer number of franchises represented down to the different designs of the Zelda characters, down to the level of ink in the tank of the Inkling amiibo. It's a beautiful thing.
  10. Let's all pretend that I didn't accidentally put the intro to Chapter 6 at the end of my post for Chapter 5. Sound good? Let's do this. === … I’m not doing this alone. There’s no way you all just can’t do your jobs and leave this comedy hanging. Don’t you have any sympathy? To be fair, we left the readers hanging for months on this comedy because you had to take a hiatus. I’m sure the readers can wait a little longer. You do realize you’re not going to get paid, right? You haven’t been paying us the entire time! Not even the old you paid us. We just did it because we enjoyed it. The thing is, we’re not enjoying it now. If you couldn’t tell. Well, how can you enjoy it better? You really seem to think none of this is your fault, do you? You really think you can just take the comedy and just let it run your way without caring what others think? That isn’t how this works. That isn’t how anything ever works. You know what? I am going to do my job now. I’m going to censor you. WHAT?! The readers deserve better than for us to keep wasting our time on you. In fact, I’m going to transition to the actual plot now so the readers actually get what they clicked for. THIS CHARACTER’S SPEECH WAS CENSORED BECAUSE OF UTTER IRRELEVANCE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER. OR DON’T, BECAUSE IT’S REALLY NOT WORTH IT ANYWAY. Chapter 6: Stranded In Helryx’s Throne Room… “Where are we going to hide?!” Brutaka had suddenly regained consciousness, and stood up, swaying slightly as he firmly secured the Olmak on his head. “You know if they find us, they’ll--” Mata Nui calmly rose from the throne, descending swiftly to meet Brutaka. “We have time.” Mata Nui didn’t even flinch as he heard a Dark Hunter ram into the bolted door and crumple to the floor outside. “And brains.” “But...but my mask…” “We don’t need your mask, Brutaka. Take my hand.” Mata Nui extended his hand, and Brutaka quickly reached for it. Before their hands could meet, the two had already disappeared in a flash of light. YEAR: 2008 As the reborn spirit of Mata Nui, helplessly confined within the Ignika, sinks to the bottom of the Swamp of Secrets, Helryx holds a quick meeting in Daxia Fortress to appoint the members of her council, which will come to be known as the Orderly Faction. Rebuilding Teridax's old body, Helryx appoints the Makuta as the Assistant to Her Orderly Empress. Axonn is appointed Her Orderly Mercenary, Karzahni is appointed Her Orderly General, and The Shadowed One is appointed Her Orderly Stalwart. After ensuring that the stasis tubes containing the Toa Mahri are infected with Shadow Leeches and secured, the Faction makes its way to Metru Nui, where Helryx will gather all the inhabitants of the Matoran Universe to officially declare the death of Mata Nui, instating the Orderly Empire in his memory. Eight years of rule under the Empire will follow, where smaller acts of dissent, the disappearance of Gali, and a fake plague lead to the formation of the Resistance Team and before long, the Battle of Ko-Metru. Yet as Brutaka and Vezon spiral out onto Daxia, they do not sense the world is as it was before they’d teleported. Everything seemed ironically more orderly than it would have been at this time, and while there was still an air of chaos around Daxia Fortress, the vibes seemed much more hopeful than, say, totalitarian. “Where are we?” asks Vezon. Brutaka is silent. He knows all too well where they are. But he is more surprised than anything to see a blue and gold-clad being standing tall, gazing across the shore. Himself. “Are you sure that’s you?” Vezon jokes after Brutaka motions to...Brutaka. “I mean, he could just be an imposter. It could just be Helryx imposing as you to get us killed.” Brutaka points again to himself...no, not himself, the other self. Beside Brutaka, a blue being is conversing with him along with a small group of assorted beings. The blue being is undoubtedly Helryx, and the group of beings includes a mix of beings, including a Makuta, Queen of the Visorak, a Dark Hunter, two Barraki, and a silver-and-gray Piraka. “Oh, Great Beings. You’re kidding me. Or, rather, me’s kidding me.” Vezon looks back at Brutaka, meaning this comedy’s typical Brutaka. “Are you sure this isn’t some sort of therapy session you’re putting me through?” “I’m sure.” Brutaka gazes across the beach, but his head snaps back quickly. “You don’t think they’ll notice us, right?” “I mean, unless we notice our presence. Okay. This joke is over. We should probably hide and figure out where we are.” “Well, I mean, we’re clearly still in the Matoran Universe.” Brutaka shrugged. “Just maybe not ours.” They both fall silent for a moment, as they can faintly hear Helryx speaking across the shore: “Look. I know this is against what we’ve been doing all this time, but we’re so close. Mata Nui is alive again, and I have no doubt that the Toa Nuva will be able to reawaken him. But we have to lash out against the evils of the Makuta. We, the Order of Mata Nui, have to come out of hiding, and we have to bring peace and justice to our world once and for all.” “I mean, I know it makes no sense, but---” “No, Brutaka. It does. See, we’ve both got Olmaks. We can both teleport and hop dimensions.” Vezon touches his mask, thinking for a moment. “See, it’s intriguing because we don’t know how to control our powers yet. But it’s feasible. Look at what we just did.” The two are both silent for a minute, as they watch the beings outline their plans for the impending War of the Brotherhood. “I think if we actually work together, we can accomplish that,” Vezon concludes, extending his hand. Brutaka takes it instantly and they shake. Eager, Brutaka inches slightly closer for a bro hug, but Vezon jumps away quickly. “Oh. Sorry.” “Yeah...we’re not there just yet. I mean, we’re over there...” he points lazily to their dimension-counterparts across the shore, then chuckles awkwardly. “Well, we should get going. This universe seems almost too good to be real, anyway.” Opening a portal, Vezon glances at it and hops in. Brutaka hesitates slightly, but follows Vezon swiftly as they teleport into the unknown. YEAR: 2017 Brutaka shook himself as he stared into the Codrex. He knew that all these memories of his past adventures with Vezon needed to stop appearing, but he ultimately could not stop them. These memories would always be a part of him. Vezon--no matter how fractured his relationship was--would always be a part of him. Mata Nui tapped him on the shoulder, motioning for them to venture up to the Stalactite Villages. Brutaka nodded and turned away from his reflection, following the Great Spirit. Step by step, they carefully followed the narrow path up to the huts in the sky. As they ascended, the air and wind were eerily silent, and upon reaching the top, they were greeted by a desolate, seemingly abandoned village. “Well, this is helpful,” Brutaka scoffed. “How do you expect us to---” “Patience,” whispered Mata Nui. “Let me see.” Entering the village, Mata Nui inspected the buildings. A few dozen huts were circled around a small fountain in the shape of the Three Virtues, surrounded by a cobblestone plaza. Further up the plaza, the cobblestone road lead from the side of a ruined temple not so far away, and as Mata Nui approached it, he signaled for Brutaka to join him. As they got closer, they were in awe at the towering spire, front and center of the temple, while the walls gradually deteriorated from the back to the front, where they were weak. Above the sealed entrance, an inscription read, “Temple of Time.” Gawking, Brutaka watched as Mata Nui touched his mask to the door, which flashed and disappeared. They headed inside. In the Temple of Time… “I can’t believe it. This is...unlike anything I could have ever imagined.” As light filtered in from the delicate glass windows, a soft red carpet ran under the two’s feet all the way to the other side of the temple, where a wall, etched in ancient and modern Matoran symbols, adorned the back. “Who...are you?” a green-and-gray Matoran stuttered, backing away towards the wall. Mata Nui calmly held out his hand, and the Matoran gasped, looking up at his all-too familiar mask. “Oh, Great Beings. You’ve finally risen.” Mata Nui bowed his head. “And I could not be more grateful for the care you gave to watch over me in my slumber. Now, Tanma...I need one more favor from you.” To Be Continued… === Interview #2 coming next! ~Meta
  11. Here's to today, where I've actually posted on time. Enjoy the read!! === Special 3: RETribution Narrator: Wow. That last PSA was a long one, apparently. Striker: I mean, it’s not like we can read them from down here, though. In that case, everything just seems like an eternity. TSO: Hey, it’s not like I can’t read at all. Man, that’d seem like an eternity of darkness. Berix: It wouldn’t sound like an eternity of darkness. It’d look like one. You can’t hear darkness. Stronius: No need to be so technical, ya jerk. Striker: What is this place, anyway? Narrator: Looks like a rusty old Kini-Nui. Actually, it might be a knockoff. Berix: Yeah. *knocks on the cylinder, which falls over easily, causing the top to pop off* There’s like an ugly face in the center of it with a giant hole in its mouth. I’m an Agori, so I wouldn’t know, but if this is what Kini-Nui are supposed to look like, this looks awful. Narrator: Let me see. *picks up top and sets it on the ground, face up* Wow. This looks like it came from a giant plastic canister. It’s horrid. And why is it made of red plastic and not ancient stone? Tahi: It’s the best we could do. Narrator: What?! Who are you?! Where did you come from?! Striker: Oh no. I remember you. Galo: You know, we really tried our best. But we didn’t succeed. Isn’t that just dreadful? Kopaku: You put everything you have out there, and just when you think you’ve accomplished something...it turns out to be barely anything. Striker: I collaborated with Master Inika on this. Narrator, TSO, guys...meet the Rejected Element Toa. Narrator: Oh, right. You guys were our prototypes. I mean, the prototypes to the Toa Mata, who we’re the failsafes to...this totally isn’t confusing. Pohati: You don’t have to make it confusing. We know who we are. Onuu: You know, Striker, you didn’t have to kill us off at the end by drowning us with a tidal wave off the coast of Mata Nui. That was just cruel. Tahi: I mean, you didn’t kill Makutu. So-- Striker: Okay, okay. Guys, it was obvious that you weren’t going to play a part in the 2001 storyline. What was I going to have you do? Drift over to Voya Nui and wreck the 2006 storyline before the Nuva came? Lewu: Wow, you’re really digging yourself into a hole here. Guys, we’re not just the Rejected Element Toa anymore. We’re wrecks. Galo: Dang. You people are senseless. Pohati: Seriously? I’m the Toa of Cardboard. I’m practically harmless. Striker: I’m going to reel myself back for a moment. Look, I figured it was a much more noble end than having you all murdered by the real Makuta. Onuu: We wouldn’t have been murdered. We would have all just run away, screaming hysterically. Kopaku: And then stumbled upon a pool of Energized Protodermis, become Accepted Element Toa, and transcended into higher states of being. Because why not. Striker: Are you guys the authors? Listen, I don’t write to favor certain characters over others. I write for the story. Tahi: That’s a complete lie. You featured Kopaku more than any of us RET or any other character overall. Narrator: Hey! I understand you guys are very flustered, but can you just let my boss speak his mind? He isn’t all bad. Striker: ...thanks, Narrator. I know how you six feel. Really, I do. I’m sorry. And you know, if it makes you feel any better, you’re all here now. Galo: It doesn’t. Lewu: Eh, it actually makes me feel a little bit better. Stronius: Wow, these guys ‘ave ‘ad more lines in dis one chapter than we’ve ‘ad in dis ‘ole series. Berix: I wonder why. TSO: Hey, I’m an important character! Berix: Barely more important than us. You were the laughingstock of the Faction. Narrator: I don’t even know how you know about the Faction if you were barely involved with that storyline, Berix. Regardless, it’s true, TSO. You’re a minor character. TSO: Didn’t see that coming. Striker: So will you let us through? Tahi: You’re kidding, right? You think I’ll let you go that easily? Pohati: I mean, he let us go really easily. Tahi: That’s EXACTLY the point! You dingus. Pohati: I’m not a dingus! Tahi: You can’t kick a pebble without screaming in sheer pain. You’re literally a--- Kopaku: Snowcones? *hands snowcones to the five RET* Narrator: Hey, can I have one? Lewu: Only if you can levitate a few inches off the ground. Oh wait, you can’t do that. You just narrate. Kopaku: Wait, aren’t you the one who interrupted me during the second chapter of Okonicle? Wow. You really had some nerve butting into a story you have no involvement in. Striker: I mean, he tends to do that. Narrator: *glares at Striker* Striker: But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give him a snowcone. Or let us through. Galo: Why do you think you’re better than us? There’s a reason you were the failsafes to the Toa Mata. It’s because you weren’t good enough. Tahi: Boom, roasted. Narrator: Then why were you prototypes to the Toa Mata? Why didn’t they just use you? All RET: … Narrator: And, you know, if we were failsafes to the Toa Mata, then the Great Beings must have really trusted us to finish the job, should they have faltered. Lewu: And how would you have accomplished that? By stating that Makuta fell off a cliff and landed on his head? Narrator: At least I can state that and levitate more than a few inches off the ground. Striker: And, I mean, I could just write you out of the plot and out of existence completely. Pohati: But you can’t. You’re not the author. Striker: … TSO: Good grief. When are you guys just going to stop verbally abusing each other and fight? Onuu: I can do both. *inhales deeply, opening his mouth, expelling compost onto the Narrator* Striker: *groans, unsheathing his sword* Now, there. No one talks trash about my friends. Tahi: This is why you’re no longer in power. You’re so cheesy. Striker: Why do you think Meta never brought you back? You’re worse than I could ever be. *rushes at Tahi* Narrator: *backflips, dusts himself off as Striker, TSO, Berix, and Stronius engage in battle against the RET* Oh, Great Beings, am I going to have to narrate this? Well, looks like I don’t have a choice. Tahi and the other RET are attempting a Protodermis Seal on Striker, but their six powers are converging into some useless purple gas...and they think it’s working. TSO is swinging his sword around slowly. He’s hit the wall a few times, but he’s...wait, he actually hit Lewu. Wow. Lewu: AGH!! *Wilhelm screams, falling to the ground. Jolts in pain as TSO unintentionally steps on him a few times, trying to find his way to the other RET* Narrator: Well, bless Mata Nui. I hated that one. Anyway, Pohatu tried to kick a pebble at Berix to prove Tahi wrong, but he’s totally knocked himself out of commission now. Speaking of Tahi, Stronius just crushed his Wax Sword with his bare, three-fingered fist and piledrived him into the ground. The brawn stereotype could not be more apparent. There’s some light dew drops forming on the ground, but there probably won’t be any effect on battle. Actually, it’s washing off my compost-covered-body, so that’s nice. Galo: Not as nice as the idea of your demise. *hooks Narrator by the neck and holds him in a chokehold* Narrator: *hacking* What...are you...doing… Galo: Shutting you up. I’m pretty sure the readers are sick of hearing you speak. Striker: *knocks Galo away, freeing Narrator* For once in my career, I’m not. Narrator: You seriously need to tone it down. You’re being way too nice to me. Kopaku: Yeah, this is so out of character for you. Striker: *takes a snowcone, licks it, and shoves it into Kopaku’s face* Well, this is a little something called “character development.” Too bad you RET aren’t capable of it. Lewu: I mean, you’re right. And I’m the only one left here, so...I should probably just give up. Striker: See? The perfect definition of a flat, two-dimensional character. Onuu: *stops expelling compost from his mouth* Wait!! I’m still---AGH!! TSO: *sheathes sword* Winner winner chicken dinner!! Striker: *ignoring the terrible PUBG reference* Let’s just get out of here. End of Special 3 === Next week: Arc 3 begins. ~Meta
  12. Well if no one's going to post any comments I guess I'm just going to keep posting chapters or maybe not we'll see === Chapter 5: The Savage Labyrinth At the Entrance to the Valley of the Maze… One by one, Teridax unlocked the handcuffs of his prisoners. Once he was finished, he passed through again, taking their blindfolds off and escorting them into the walls of the maze, as Vezon assured the prisoners followed their orders from behind. As he escorted the last prisoner in, Vezon waved farewell to Teridax, wishing him luck. Closing the entrance to the maze from the outside, he snuck behind the exterior wall and quickly teleported away. Teridax briefly watched as Vezon shut the door, then turned to the grand passage of the maze itself, and the prisoners he had lead inside. He cleared his throat. “I thank you very, very much for volunteering your time to be here.” “Are you kidding me?” Gelu let out a nervous laugh. “I’ve never felt more threatened in my life. And considering I’ve lived under your reign for months, where you’ve given every offense the right to the death penalty and banned all sweets, that’s saying something.” “You think this is a death penalty?” “We’ve all avoided this fortress for a reason,” Tarduk said, shuddering. “There’s no guarantee we’ll make it out alive.” “Well,” Teridax walked to the front of the group. “As long as I do, that’s what matters.” Gresh rolled his eyes. Rushing at him, Teridax struck the Glatorian in his side, knocking him to the ground in pain. “Come on!! I was looking at the sky!” “Don’t test me,” Teridax growled. “Let’s go.” He extended his hand forward into the maze, watching as Gelu, followed by Tarduk, Kirbraz, Scodonius, and Gresh proceeded. Further Into the Maze… As the group rounded the corner, they stopped in their tracks. A wall of raging hot fire divided the path, preventing further progress. “No matter. You three--” Teridax pointed to Gelu, Kirbraz, and Scodonius. “--just douse the flames.” The three beings looked at each other blankly. “Did you hear what I said? Use your powers and douse the flames!” Gelu turned to Teridax. “What powers? We don’t have any powers.” “Of course you have powers! Don’t lie to me. At least you should, you’re a Toa.” He said the word with spite, as if he was about to spit on Gelu. Gelu cautiously stepped back. “I’m...not a Toa. I’m a Glatorian. I have no idea what a Toa is.” Teridax facepalmed. He looked back at the path they had just came from, but it was completely sealed off. He furrowed his eyebrows. Nex. Since when do BIONICLEs have eyebrows? It’s a figure of speech! Plus, I was running out of things to say to describe angry people. It’s always, “He growled,” or, “Her eyes widened,” or stuff like that. Just a thought. Well, thanks to your thought, the readers are now entirely disengaged from the story. Hey, you’re the one that interrupted, not me. … “Meta furrowed his eyebrows.” THAT’S IT! I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU FOR ONE CHAPTER! FORMATA! Wait, I actually exist to you now? When you need me? Please don’t. Just change the chapter to script. This is a rather abrupt change. I’m not sure if the chapter might recover from this. I wish I cared. Just do it. Please. *___*___*___* Past the Wall of Fire… Teridax: You fools. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me the raging hot wall of fire was fake. Gelu: ...it was real fire. Tarduk: Yeah. You just ran through it really fast. (turns to Kirbraz and Scondonius) Kirbraz: (looks at hand. It is molten and fused with Scondonius’s hand.) Lucky you. Scondonius: Yeah...we were probably testing the waters for a little too long. Kirbraz: Actually, it was fire. Scondonius: Don’t be smart with me. I still have one free hand. Teridax: (motioning to the group) Come on. We don’t have all chapter, you know. Actually, they do. ...actually, this story arc is only two chapters long. You’ve got to be kidding me. We can’t cut this arc that short! That’s completely unfair. Yeah, unfair to you because you have to do your job. In the Central Chamber… Teridax: Wait. We’re already here?? How did that happen so fast? Vezon: (behind the crew, closing the portal they had just come out of, whispering) Because you’re all idiots. Tarduk: The power of teamwork? Kirbraz: More like forced teamwork. If I didn’t have to carry this lug around, I wouldn’t. Scodonius: Shush. I could’ve eaten you in the womb. Teridax: This is super awkward and dark. I think we should just go in. Gelu: Now that you mention it, I’m hungry… Teridax: ...I think I should just go in. Gresh: What?! I haven’t done anything the entire chapter!! Teridax: Fine. You come along. Gresh: But you’re responsible if I die. Teridax: HAH. Good one. If anything, I’ll be the one killing you if you keep demanding things from your emperor. In the Core of the Valley… Gresh: It’s pitch black in here! How am I supposed to see anything? Teridax: I have elemental shadow powers. I’m used to it. Gresh: Well, that’s dark. Teridax: (ignores horrible pun, walking casually forward. Light suddenly turns on above him, piercing the darkness and flooding the room with light. He is standing on a circular platform surrounded on all sides by lava and encircled by six columns; in the center is the symbol of the Three Virtues. Teridax looks around.) I don’t understand...where is it? Voice 1: (murmuring and repeating) You...you aren’t the right one… Gresh: Wait, did you hear that? Voice 2: (blending into Voice 1’s speech and repeating) You aren’t the one we’re looking for… Voice 3: (likewise) You can never be the Great Spirit… Teridax: You dare... Voice 4: (likewise) You will never win against us… Voice 5: (likewise) You will never be as powerful as you desire… Voice 6: (louder than the rest) She will never love you!! She will never want you!! No one will ever--- Teridax: PROVE YOURSELF! (furiously unsheathes staff) Voices: (All are silent. A moment later, all begin again, screaming and repeating their speeches. One by one, scattered matter emanates from each column and materializes into one of the six Shadow Toa.) You...you aren’t the right one we’re looking can never be never win as powerful as no one will EVER WANT YOU!!! Teridax: You!! Gresh!! Get behind me! (turns to grab Gresh and pull him to the center. Gresh is nowhere to be seen. Looks around him as all six Shadow Toa get closer.) You...you WON’T BEAT ME AGAIN!! (brandishes staff and vaults over the Toa as their protodermis seal misses by inches. Lands and kicks Shadow Pohatu to the ground, stabbing the staff into his mask. Pulls the staff up and thrusts its butt behind him, knocking Shadow Onua away into the pit of lava. Twirls staff and disarms Shadow Kopaka’s shield, swiftly grabs the Shadow Toa and chokes him to death. Shadow Lewa chops axe against staff, staff is pushed against axe, breaking axe. Head of axe flies onto Shadow Gali’s chest, and Shadow Lewa is tossed into the lava pit.) Shadow Tahu: You...you see...it is just you and me. Teridax: Wow, what a rhyme. I hope there’s no corny prophecy that rhymes the way you do. Shadow Tahu: I am the reason you never got what you wanted. I took all of this away, and left your confidence rotted. Teridax: Seriously, please stop rhyming. It’ll make your death just a bit less painful. Shadow Tahu: You cannot kill me, and you will never be able to. That is not your destiny. Teridax: Thank you. You’re still wrong, though. Shadow Tahu: I do not understand why things just went so out of course in your world. But that changes nothing. Teridax: Please just give me the Power Source. Or you die. Shadow Tahu: You cannot kill me, for I am Noth--- Teridax: (using Shadow Hand, grabs Shadow Tahu and crushes him into thin air) Well. I literally just killed you. TG: The room was suddenly pitch black again, and as Teridax sheathed his staff, Gresh walked up to him holding a bright, glowing cube. Teridax smiled. You...are not the narrator, and even if you were, this chapter is script now. What are you doing?! I thought it would be a better transition if I told what was going on instead of it all being in awkward script format. And everything was going smoothly until you interrupted. So you’re saying that I’m the problem. Yes. Yes. *Agreement whilst being wisely silent* Uh… Nope. Not one more word. That’s it. This story arc is over. … Fine. I’ll end the chapter. Dear readers: we’ll see you again in the Matoran Universe, where a weakened Resistance struggles to survive against the full force of the Orderly Military. Stay tuned. === Special #...something coming soon. ~Meta
  13. I feel good today. Sorry, I know it's been a few weeks, but believe me when I promise that I am going to keep going. I am. === PSA 1: The Official TAOT Infomercial /// Imagine a world where hope is all but lost. As a the flames of a dying fire pit smolder and smoke, the denizens of a ruthless, unyielding Empire too are suppressed by its sheer power. Hope is found only in a select few, the glowing orange embers of the fire that just need that spark to reignite… Follow the adventures of Tahu...in the reimagining of a comedic classic...and discover how hope might just prevail against all odds for the greater good of all. Tahu’s Antics: Orderly Turmoil is out now. /// TG: I’m going to be honest. That wasn’t terrible. Meta: Well, thank you. I’d assume it was far better than terrible. Censorer: It might be better suited for an epic, though. Meta: But this is epic!! It demonstrates the pure struggle that Tahu has to go through. No one else believes they can defeat the Orderly Empire. Tahu can. TG: But Tahu doesn’t even want to destroy the Orderly Empire! Most of the time, he’s just running away from Helryx and trying to save his friends. Meta: Sure, because Gali was definitely just his friend. Censorer: TG, that’s not entirely accurate, but it isn’t even the point anyway. Meta, this is a COMEDY. What you just wrote would be better suited for an Avengers trailer. Meta: Yeah, okay. Look at all of the CENSORED jokes they made in Age of Ultron. That movie had a pretty epic trailer, but that didn’t stop Stan Lee. It doesn’t need to stop us, either. Censorer: I can’t believe you would bring that up. This is BZPower, watch your tone. Meta: Well, it was either that or spoil The Last Jedi. Nex: Wait, I have an idea! Meta: Oh, so now the talking creamsicle wants a say. TG: Eh, can’t hurt. Nex, let’s see what you’ve got. /// Here we go, off the rails, Don't you know it's time to cry and flail, It's order like you never knew...They are sad, and all crass, Say “Resistance,” and they beat-- /// Formata: No. Nex: What do you mean, no?! Why are you interrupting me? Formata: That’s what I said. No. And I’m not wasting my formatting skills on you if all you’re going to do is rip off another song. Nex: Well, okay. You’re lucky I have another idea. Formata: I bet I am. /// *Tahu walks out of Helryx’s office and starts talking* She bought it. Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and she never doubted it for a second. How could I possibly be expected to handle serving the Orderly Empire on a day like this? It's getting pretty tough staying here anymore. If I don’t get out of here, Helryx will probably suspect something, so I'd better make this one count. The key to faking out the Empire is--- /// Formata: What is it with you and pop culture references? Meta: It’s because he has no actually good jokes of his own. Unless you consider his disgustingly bad puns. Nex: You know, I don’t understand. I thought you were going to give me freedoms that the old narrator never had. You were going to let me be funny. Meta: Yeah, robots don’t have the capacity to be funny. TG: Well, then I guess that makes every single character in the comedy. Regardless, I still have an idea. Meta: I mean, technically, most of them are biomechanical beings. But continue. TG: Okay… /// In an Alternate Universe of the Traditional BIONICLE Story… Tahu: Wait, we’re doing this again?? Seriously? Helryx: I guess so. Except this time I’m actually going to win. Axonn: And the jokes are actually funny. Ackar: And there’s only one fidget spinner. Brutaka: And the comedy actually makes somewhat coherent sense. Teridax: It’s not in script though. This is false advertising. Vezon: I mean, there’s an actual backstory, but there’s no color-coded characters anymore. Transition Guy: Guys, guys, calm down. This is just a promotion to show off how amazing you all are, and that your story is being remade. Tahu Nuva, Toa of Silver: That’s right! The Adventures of Tahu has now been remade into a comedy called Tahu’s Antics: Orderly Turmoil, and you should totally go check it out. Tahu: See, Helryx? My name’s still in the title. Helryx: ...I’m going to make your life terrible. To Be Continued...in Tahu’s Antics: Orderly Turmoil. Out now. /// Meta: ...is this a joke?? You put...my alter ego in instead of me? TG: That’s who the readers are familiar with! I don’t want to spoil what happens at the end of Tahu’s Consequence!! Meta: I would rather you spoil it than put him in instead of me. I’m the author of this comedy. And if you don’t like that, then I guess your idea for the infomercial won’t be considered. TG: But-- Meta: No buts! Ugh, these ideas are all terrible, except for mine. I guess we’ll just have to go with-- EG: HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE VERY FIRST PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE HERO TAHU! I’m your host, Extra Guy, and today we have something very special for you guys: an official infomercial for the comedy. Sit back, relax, and enjoy. … ...where is it? Meta? Meta: Well, we don’t exactly have one yet. EG: You’re kidding, right? I gave you guys eight-hundred words to draft something before I officially aired it. Heck, I even allowed an extra twenty-three before I came on the scene. Censorer: Actually, we’ve been on the air for a while now. In fact, they can see everything we’re saying even now. EG: Oh!! *turns to the front of the stage, where he sees the words of this chapter being typed in tandem with his actions. Yes, this word. This word, too. Actually, those were sentences, but this sentence is being typed out as well* Sorry to be so unprofessional. We’ve usually got these things under control at NAW. Censorer: Extra Guy, we never do. And even if we did, who would care, anyway? It’s not like anyone actually reads this comedy. EG: That’s exactly why we need an infomercial!! To boost our rep!! To get ourselves the praise we deserve! We put a lot of work into this, and you know we do, Censorer. Censorer: ...I know. Well, I actually had an idea for the infomercial. It’s kind of stupid, but at this point, I guess it doesn’t matter. /// In The Adventures of Tahu… “Oh, great. Now I have guilt,” Tahu said, followed by a hard facepalm to his mask. “No time for movie quotes, or funniness.” Nuju ordered. “But this is a comedy,” Tahu whined. Suddenly, a wall exploded. Before it did, though, Tahu saw a number four painted on it. Before Nuju could exclaim that the fourth wall had been broken... In its remake… Helryx entered through the wall, followed by The Shadowed One, Teridax, and Axonn, dragging along a handcuffed Kopaka. “Finally! I found a way to get in and kill you at the perfect time! Thanks to your friend over here…” Kopaka struggled to get away from Helryx. “She’s lying! All I wanted to do was to see why there were a horde of Dark Hunters marching down the street…then I realized they were coming for you...” In The Adventures of Tahu… “So, you see, Toa, I am not stupid. I had of course, hoped that you would heed my words. But I knew, in the end, you would attempt to escape. Now, here’s the truth, Toa: There is no escaping here. Ever.” Tahu ignored her as he selected a desert planet to go to. It looked hot, and hot was good… In its remake… Tahu looked at Helryx, unsheathing his swords. “You’ve lied to me, you traitor. How dare you kill off innocent Matoran. How dare you put yourself at the helm of this empire. How dare you…not let me find...Gali...” Tahu had tears in his eyes, but he was willing to do anything to avenge his tears, to avenge the disappearances and deaths of his friends at the hands of Helryx. He would not hesitate… In The Adventures of Tahu… Helryx froze. How could he know all of this? She thought. And then a one-word plan formulated in her head. “ATTACK!” she screamed, thrusting herself into Tahu with a kick. Her colleagues followed suit with a CRASH and the beginning of war... In its remake… And so, thus began the adventures of Tahu. Wait a second!! Boss, we changed the name! Yeah, we know. It’s actually called Tahu’s Antics: Orderly Turmoil now. And I mean, I can’t promise that TNTS won’t suck at being a nice author, but I mean, the comedy’s much more detailed, coherent, and humorous now. Consider it the anniversary edition of the anniversary edition. The gold standard. And I mean, it’s not exactly the same story. It’s a remake, so there’s a lot to look forward to. Like me!! And my lovely transitions. And my niche censoring skills. Want more of this? Hesitate no further. Read Tahu’s Antics: Orderly Turmoil today, in the BZP Comedies forum. Currently, we’re on Season 3, entitled The Hero Tahu, but you are OF COURSE free to check out Tahu’s Transport and Tahu’s Consequence, which are Season 1 and Season 2 respectively. Enjoy! EXTRA! EXTRA! is a subdivision of Tahu’s Antics: Orderly Turmoil, which in itself is a subdivision of NAW, which in itself is a property under |MetaStriker Productions|.. ©2018 All rights reserved. /// Meta: Well, if I must say. That was definitely the most ambitious infomercial I’ve seen yet. Censorer: I know. I was downplaying it a lot. And then all those other infomercials...happened. TG: Hey!! Mine was good! Censorer: Yeah...mine was better. Sorry. Meta: You know. I will say this. You really do put in a lot of work, Censorer. I’m really impressed. Censorer: That’s something the old boss would have never said. Meta: Well, I’m not him. Well, I mean, I am, but I’m the better him. I don’t work for myself. I work for all of you. You know that? Censorer: ...I guess I do. Meta: Well, great. I’ll take this into consideration with EG. Let’s go. *leaves the studio with EG* TG: ...Censorer, what are you doing?! I thought we hated him! You said it yourself. Too much is changing. Censorer: I know, but it doesn’t hurt to be on his good side, right? At least for one chapter. TG: These aren’t even chapters. These are specials. They’re probably detracting way too much from the main story and confusing the heck out of the readers. Censorer: Transition Guy, we are part of the main story. This comedy isn’t just about some ragtag group of BIONICLEs trying to take down an unstable yet overly powerful dictatorship. It’s about redemption in so many ways. And it means all the more for us. TG: Well, thanks for completely ignoring me about the whole “detracting from the main story” bit. We should really end this PSA now. Censorer: And we’re about to. I just wanted to say that. And TG, if something happens in the next chapter, which it probably will, I will stand with you. I just needed you to know what I was standing with you for. Nex: Okay, the fact that you didn’t throw a “nex” pun in there makes me sad. Formata: Nex, you make me sad. End of PSA 1 === Chapter 5 coming Friday! Hope you enjoyed this infomercial---it was a ton of fun to write. ~Meta
  14. I'm feeling generous today! Arc II is go!! === Chapter 4: Once a Conqueror... No. I refuse to do this. We can’t just change the story arc entirely and leave Tahu hanging in Makuhero City. Transition Guy. This is your job. You’re transitioning the story to the other arc to explain what’s happening on Bara Magna. It’s not nonsensical. It’s actually kinda neater. None of the readers are going to remember what happened in the first three chapters! Plus, what really makes what happens on Bara Magna relevant? Sure, Teridax took over the Skrall Empire, but-- Don’t you dare criticize my author-ity. Or spoil the story. What are you going to do? Fire me? ...no. I’ll ice you. Wow, this makes me miss TNTS’s jokes. You did not just-- Okay, that’s enough. Uh...I don’t really know how to do this transition thing. Formata, can you help me? With pleasure. Anything to get these fools to stop arguing. TG has a point though, right? Too much is changing. This is insane. I stay quiet for a reason. So should you. Fine… In the Ruins of Roxtus Castle… Months ago, Teridax had faced death in the clutches of the Resistance. They had been merciless in their capture and treatment of the leader of the Makuta, forcing information out of him and practically beating him to death. He had never experienced such pain in his life, not since having to hear “Bring Me to Life” by Evanescence on repeat in Helryx’s office, as it was her favorite song and she had outlawed “Creeping in My Soul” from playing in the MU. Teridax at this point had completely lost faith in the Orderly Empire, particularly Helryx. All he had done for her, for the good of the Empire felt meaningless as he remained, abandoned in the Great Temple as angry Matoran pelted tomatoes at him. In that regard, the execution of Order 44 was a blessing. Sure, no one from the Empire came to actually save Teridax, but all of the remaining members of the Resistance ran for cover really quickly. After some time, Teridax had healed enough to break from his chains, grab his weapons, and exit the empty hall. The city of Metru Nui was completely barren and quieter than it had been since the days before its rediscovery. Large, black clouds hovered over the city, with thunder rumbling in the distance. Teridax quickly ran. He didn’t realize that he, as fate would have it, would, without looking, dive headfirst into a portal that would send him falling through the hot desert skies of a completely different world into a hill of sand. And that this would be the best thing that fate could have ever delivered him--a new start, a chance to redefine and dominate in power. Teridax now understood why Tahu had wanted to leave the Empire so badly. Months later, as he sat upon the throne of the Skrall Empire, he reflected on all of this, but furthermore, his success. His ability to not only rejuvenate, but empower the Skrall Army. His force in rejecting the ideals of the opposing Mega-Village, and prove his strength over their unity. His knowledge in the technology of the now-formed Prototype Robot, and his hunger to further conquer the planet--and the universe. But, most of all, he prized his independence from the Orderly Empire above all successes, and he knew that as long as he was away from any single being in his past, that he would not face any doubts. “Master.” Tuma kneeled in front of Teridax’s throne, gracefully. “A visitor...with no relation to the Mega-Village, in fact.” “Let the visitor come forth.” Teridax waited as Tuma retreated out of the throne room, and opened the door for the visitor. Teridax’s expression changed instantly, from calm to shocked. “No need to freak yourself out, Makuta Teridax. You know you aren’t dreaming.” Vezon informally strutted down the torn red carpet, stopping a few feet away from the throne. He did not kneel. Teridax looked like he had seen a ghost. He tried to compose himself. “You’re supposed to be dead...I’m not sure I understand who you think you---” “I understand exactly who I am,” Vezon said, chuckling. “And don’t use that excuse. You were supposed to be dead several times, and yet you’re still very much alive.” “Tuma, please leave us alone. I have...much to digest.” “Understood, master.” Tuma quietly slipped out of the throne room, closing the door behind him with a loud, ear-piercing squeak. Teridax looked down at Vezon. He had not seen him in eleven years, since Teridax’s own defeat on Voya Nui and the hurricane that Helryx unleashed on the island, upon her arrival. The Empire had always wondered where Vezon and Brutaka had disappeared to, but they never found any trace of them. “You haven’t changed much.” “I’ve never found the need to. Frankly, you seem to be doing well for yourself here. As awful as this barren wasteland is, it’s infinitely better than whatever drama the Empire creates. You know this,” Vezon said, smirking. Teridax reclined in his chair, far more relaxed, but curious all the same. “How do you know I know this?” Vezon pretended to not have heard his question. “You’ve benefited a great deal under whatever business you’re running now. When Helryx proclaimed her Orderly Empire idea, I knew it was such a joke I had to run away. I also know that you want more.” Teridax looked around the throne room, all in its damaged, torn-apart state. “Yeah. I need to hire an interior designer for the castle. I’m planning that next week.” “I’m not blind, you wisecrack. I mean power. The power you yearned for, eleven years ago.” Teridax shuffled around in his throne. “Those days are beyond me. I could never take control of the Matoran Universe.” “You don’t need to. I can help you. And I know you’ll take it, because you know you still want it.” The two were both silent for a moment, as Teridax mulled over what Vezon had said. After a moment, Vezon spoke up again. “You know this isn’t your life. You’ve never settled for what you have.” “Why do you know that?” Teridax rose from his throne, skeptical. “Along with all these other things about me. It’s all true, sure, but thought-provoking nonetheless. Almost creepy.” Vezon only shook his head, smiling. “I’m a lunatic. You know that. I don’t think it’s creepy, because it’s all fairly obvious. For you, it’s extremely obvious you want more power...come with me.” At the Peak of the Black Spike Mountains… As Vezon rose to the top of the mountain, he let out a loud sigh of relief. He had not hiked this much in eleven years--which was basically his entire life. Thankfully, he had been able to teleport further up when Teridax wasn’t looking. He needed to keep that secret. “You’re tired? Really?” Teridax chuckled as he looked down upon the endless desert of Bara Magna. Directly below them, the giant shell of the Prototype Robot lay on the ground like a collapsed ragdoll, and with it, the Mega-Village inside. “Why have you brought me here? I know this is my kingdom.” Vezon pulled out a golden coin. “And this is what your kingdom could be.” He gave the coin to Teridax, letting him study it. “Turn around.” Teridax turned around, and beyond the mountains, a large tower surrounded by a maze loomed in the distance. The coin had the exact same design on it. Rotating the coin, Teridax saw a tall, strong giant robot, and to its side...the Three Virtues. “Where did you get this?” “That isn’t important,” Vezon responded. He had no intention of explaining how he’d teleported into Helryx’s throne room to steal the coin from Berix’s corpse, mere moments before the Dark Hunters did. “You know what is.” To Be Continued… === Until Friday... ~Meta
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