Janus

Why not Zoidberg?

While TMD and XCCK (or is it J?) had wandered off to do robot things, Emzee, DeeVee, Kakaru and I planned out the beginnings of more than a camp, more than a fort, we planned the beginnings of civilization--or as close to it as this primitive island could get. And naturally, all civilization starts with drinking. Just ask the cavemen, before they discovered fire, they discovered mixed drinks and cocktails. (with the little umbrellas on top) With Kakaru deciding (for some strange reason) that the oddly-flower shaped pub should be in the direct center of the pub (all the while ominously chanting "ritual of blood") we set to work. Or rather I set to complaining and watched as my boyson started working. The frightening way he chanted and attempted to summon demons reminded me so much of his mother.... But when the base had been complete and Kakaru set about creating "I hate everyone mats" I had a startling thought. "DeeVee! Emzee!" I shouted "How can we have a pub if we don't have any DRINKS?"

WHO KNEW?????? (Spoilers: It was Micah)

Why not just start off reading at the first Immunity challenge? (Also the posts are super short now) (Also, also the fourth page only has two posts on it, and they're both less than 300 words)

Upon discovering that we had won I decided a celebratory bout of shirtless firebending was in order (Hey if Zuko can get away with it, so can I!) Unfortunately this display of jocularity attracted the ire of the most terrifying creature imaginable--my wife. With eyes cold as steel (that was also frozen) she strode across the beach--and I could swear the fire went dimmer in her presence. Moving faster than light her hand whipped out and grabbed me in a grip as strong as iron, and before I had a chance to scream I was taken into the woods. There nobody could hear me scream (because they were celebrating/mourning too loud)

I will cut you.

(Like me for example) Anyhow, why don't you WATCH/READ/LISTEN/ENJOY our first IMMUNITY CHALLENGE in STAFF SURVIVOR? CAPITALS. (The posts are a lot shorter now)

It was all or nothing, the I'd Settle for that's were counting on me--we needed that fire started as soon as possible! Without waiting another second I tore of my shirt and threw it on the ground. For some silly reason Emzee raised an eyebrow quizzically and asked something along the lines of "are you brain damaged?" Clearly he didn't understand how combustion works. See, I'm so hot that the air around me would combust and turn into fire! But for some reason it wasn't working--Kakaru's adorableness must have been muffling my hot. Drat, I love the little dork, but that just wouldn't do! Sidling across the beach to where I knew my lady love was, I grasped her around the waist and whispered softly"Hey baby, we can make some fire of our own" Then DeeVee grabbed me by my ear and threw me into the woods to get firewood. Doesn't anyone around here know science???

The amount of support I have for this entry could not fill the universe (it is that much support)

Best sandwich ever that I can't eat.

I was awake now (I guess, I mean was that the moon or the sun? The all looked so similar to me) and was informed that apparently during my momentary (okay it was an entire 24 hour period, but whatever) break from reality we had decided to name the team the thing that I was apparently muttering--I'd settle for that. Why did I say that? i guess I thought I'd settle for the name, and possibly living. However I discovered that the empress had decided she would not settle for that, and the win was given to the other team. Already my devious mind was concocting a brilliant scheme to either steal back the assorted junkpile or cuddle my wife (or bonus: Seduce her and get the junkpile!) Issuing a discreet look to both DeeVee and my adorable son Kakaru (which I realized was completely in vain, being that half of my team was catatonic and the other half was running around Tohu knows where) I let them in on my incredibly mischievous bit of trickery. "So, tonight when they're asleep" I began, narrowing my eyes conspiratorily "Yes?" DeeVee responded arching a single perfectly etched brow. (Goodness, if only there was a world-class photographer around to capture such a perfect image) "I'm going to sneak over there and steal stuff, kay?" Both of them stared at me with what I assumed were looks of stunned silence at the sheer audacity and genius of the plan.

It was night time. I was asleep. I snored and rolled over. Because that's what you do when it is night time. You sleep.

To say that I was unhappy to be dumped in the deep (and might I add freezing cold) water surrounding Voya Nui would have been an understatement--to say I was unhappy at myself for actually trusting Tufi when she said that copy of the Metroid Prime Trilogy wasn't a trick--well, that would require several words not yet invented in the following languages: English, Korean, Spanish, and Esperanto. Finally I managed to drag myself, and my wife (or rather, she dragged and I whined and acted like I was helping) to shore where we promptly set up a warm cuddlepile. Unfortunately that was when Ms. Empress began talking and I felt a cold horror overtake, bringing back feelings I had long since repressed. It was Staff Survivor...all over again. Though my outside facade remained unflappable, inside I began the slow process of a nuclear meltdown: I had escaped! I managed to get away from the crazy savages (and also the staff) and the empresses cruel games--I HAD SURVIVED THE HUNGER GAMES (What was this, the quarter quell?) But the worst was yet to come, with a malevolent look the empress began to read off the teams and I discovered that my young family was split in twain--leaving me to raise our adopted son to love and respect all living creatures except his mother who would undoubtedly turn on us and devour our bones in the night. (but seriously she's a very nice lady, and he would be taught to respect for her and also to make sure she never got behind him. Ever.) And with that the insane madwoman left us sopping wet to await our fates, leaving only the ominous challenge to come up with the best name to earn back our luxury items--like my....uh....phone i guess maybe? I wracked my brain and realized I didn't really have any luxury items except my GUNDAM MODELS (and also my wife, but she is not an item she is a person. How rude of you to think that way) Wracking my brain I quickly began to fire ideas out at random:"Fastaways!" I shouted"That was used last time" DeeVee responded--just like him to be a beautiful adonis know-it-all "Fleas!" I said panicking "Same thing" Kakaru responded. (Son, didn't I ever teach you not to contradict daddy?) "TEAM CANADA!" I practically screamed "We're not Canadian!" the other 95% of my team shouted back in unison. Feeling hopeless and dejected I sat in silence, looking around at my fellow (hopefully) survivors, but then I heard the words that would or could maybe possible change my life forever. "The Schizo Kaita's" Or, I thought to myself. Or, The Hulktoro's

This is it in a nutshell. A very big and very accurate nutshell.

This entry tells me everything I never knew I wanted.

So wait Necro got necro'ed?

Please write this thing. Please write this thing. This kind of stuff needs to be said and we need to be able to evaluate why this is a terrible thing that was done and be able to have open and clear communication on both sides. Please write this thing.

Paragon Shepard/Renegade Shepard in the Star Trek Universe. MAKE IT SO

Because they would have overshadowed every other Friends set out there.

ILU MOOCOW

Feminism bros for life, mang.

I have never done this before, but I must. [Jen]: Hang out with CANADIAN friends in a CANADIAN mall, eh?

wat

no.