TLhikan

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed. Couple things: Both in this case and below, "hone" is the more correct word. I'm guessing you meant "now"? "His". Toa Don't Kill. BS01 says that except for Tuyet, Helryx, and Lesovikk himself, all Toa follow the Code. Even if Jovan, a rookie, was a tad unfamiliar with it, killing a living being is a pretty big deal. Lesovikk of course doesn't care about the code anymore, but I don't see any reason for Jovan to be the same (or at the absolute least not extremely torn up about it). I'm guessing you meant "on". But all in all, a good and touching story .

Sorry, but I can't approve this until you've changed or otherwise addressed all of the problems I highlighted above . -TLhikan

No, but some (like mine) have only been judged once. Yeah, but Fisher approved yours already . Seriously speaking, if you'd like, I can go over it and approve it as well. I would like to get to people who haven't been approved and are waiting on it first though. EDIT: As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7745"]Brothers[/url] by DeltaStrikerI see problems with this entry.

Has anyone's entry not been judged at all? -TLhikan

Merry Christmas, and a Happy Naming Day! -TLhikan

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: No inaccuracies or errors were found in your entry. Unless another judge or member finds a problem later, your entry is likely to go on to the polls. -TLhikan

As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry:http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7693#entry461145"]Protector[/url] by Colt McCoy/Codin the Fe-Matoran (according to the topic, Colt wrote it, but Codin posted/edited it because of Colt having account problems.)I approve this entry. As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry:http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7753"]Dawning Valor[/url] by DoomIgnikaI approve this entry.

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: No inaccuracies or errors were found in your entry. Unless another judge or member finds a problem later, your entry is likely to go on to the polls. -TLhikan

I think your entry may be missing from the list. Can you post a link to it?

As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry:http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7486"]First Kill[/url] by TheSkeletonMan939I approve this entry. -TLhikan

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: No inaccuracies or errors were found in your entry. Unless another judge or member finds a problem later, your entry is likely to go on to the polls. -TLhikan

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: No inaccuracies or errors were found in your entry. Unless another judge or member finds a problem later, your entry is likely to go on to the polls. -TLhikan

Mask of Sealing works (maybe). But for the second two: Potential doesn't seem to be much more than a name, and we already have the Mask of Telecommunication. -TLhikan

As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry:http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7720"]Belief[/url] by Duel Matrix I see problems with this entry. As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry:http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7740"]The Teacher[/url] by TikiturboI approve this entry. -TLhikan

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed. Capitalization stuff: Toa, the Pit, Matoran, and Koro should all be capitalized. Grammar stuff: In general, I would advise skipping a line between each paragraph. Comma after "write", "This...." should be a separate sentence. "Was" should be "had already been", add a comma after "Order". The Toa should be female (her, not him). Comma after "arrived", "all things" should be "everything had gone". "The Toa..." should start a new sentence. "Lied" should be "lay". "... some matoran and the member of the Order." works better as "some Matoran, along with the body of the member of the Order." Comma after "me", "Normally an..." should start a new sentence, "but this..." should be made part of the preceding sentence (ad a comma after "attack), "She broke..." should start a new sentence. "Completely" and "sense" are misspelled. I think you need to put "any" in front of "sense". "Wake" should be "woke". Remove "and", "She spoke should be its own sentence". The new paragraph needs to begin with the Toa's dialogue. This text doesn't need to be italicized. No space between the quotation ma rk and "Interesting". "I saw" should come before "interesting". "Now" should begin a new sentence. "Organization" is misspelled. Comma after "payer". "Overthrow" is misspelled. Remove the period after the exclamation point, add a quotation mark, and start a new paragraph. "They could have..." should start a new sentence. "Instead" is misspelled and should start a new sentence, as well as be followed by a comma. New paragraph with this sentence. Neither "remarked" nor "yanked" are the right words here, you may be thinking of "observed" and "jerked", respectively. "The Matoran..." should start a new sentence. Comma after "pain". "Ready" is misspelled."Together with the Matoran" is not needed in this sentence. Comma after "her". Disappeared is misspelled. "For as" should be "because. Comma after "teleportation". This should begin a new paragraph. "Was" should be "saw her". Remove the colon and the period. Semicolon after late. "Powerful", "blast" and "unleashed" are misspelled. "Psionical" isn't a word, it should just be "psionic" or "mental". The end part should be replaced with something like "The Matoran fusions were separated (an independent sentence). Comma after "power". This should begin a new paragraph. "Cannot" is one word (yes, English is confusing). Generally, authors use italics and not quotations to indicate someone thinking. Speaking of, "thought" is misspelled". No comma needed after "...", "yes" should not be capitalized. Comma after "virtue". "Readied" is misspelled. And "big hug"? Really? "Throw" is misspelled. Comma after "something". "Last powers" doesn't make any sense. "Upper body" is two words. "Successfully" is misspelled. "His" is unnecessary. "Dead". Start a new paragraph here. Use only one "and" at a time (so, use a comma instead of the first one). See above about dialogue. "Those" not "this". "Their" is unnecessary, make "Matoran" possessive. "The stone..." should begin a new sentence. Comma after "forever". Disappearing is misspelled. "More adrift then ever before" is grammatically correct, but I'm not sure what you're trying to say here. -TLhikan

I like that idea, although I'll probably pronounce it "kwa". -TLhikan

Bones, one note on the list: I did judge (and find problems in) Invasion by Lewa Krom. -TLhikan

As an authorized Contest Judge, I have read and judged this entry: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7738"]Legends of Lhii[/url] by .:Yio:. I see problems with this entry.

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed. A few minor grammar issues: I'm not quite sure about this, but I think that it should be "for" instead of "to". This works betters as two sentences (...asked the Matoran. Vakama nodded). Comma after "place". "Becoming a Toa" would be more correct here. Comma after "worry", and I think it should be "are of equal quality". You may also want to start a new paragraph with this sentence. Comma after "Lhikan". Should be a period there, not a comma. Comma after "Lhikan" (again ). Comma after "worry". Colon after "Nui-Jaga". Comma after "Turaga". I think it should be "ship's". This is a tricky grammar rule though. Double word there. Should be "on". "Out" is unnecessary here. Comma after "us". Should be "he's saying" or "he is saying". Should be something along the lines of "I looked at him oddly, as if he had grown two heads. Comma after "Wait". "They" would fit better here than "it". Should have a period there. Comma after "which". Comma after "today" and "however". Also, the last sentence needs to be reworked. I suggested "...and I few out of the Great Temple, soaring so high that I could see all of Metru Nui laid out below me, ready for my next adventure." or some thing like that. Good story, and I hope you do well in the poles! -TLhikan

http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=7744&p=467289]Here[/url] is a link to Lewa Krom's story. -TLhikan

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed. Grammar issues: Should end with a question mark . Extra comma after "towards", I think you're missing the word "ask" in there. Canon issues: The Red Star is outside of the MU, so unless I'm mistaken, it can't be seen inside Metru Nui. The Toa Inika couldn't use their elemental powers without also using lightning. Makuta would have been Antidermis after he left Matoro's body, and so couldn't smile. So, was Makuta referencing the Nui Stone at the end, or just making up a story to mess with Matoro's mind? That's all the problems I see. -TLhikan

That works (and an Increase Weight Kanoka disk sounds like an even more awesome Noodle Incident ). I should be able to go over your story to re-judge soon. -TLhikan

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed. There are a number of capitalization and grammar issues, however, the main antagonist is an original character, which may not fit in the rules. I would PM bonesiii and ask him. -TLhikan

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed. A few capitalization errors: Dark Hunter, Metru Nui, Toa, Lhikan, Kanohi, Akaku, Fire, Plant Life, and the Green when they come after "Toa of", Kaukau, -Metru, Kana-Ra, and Firedrakax are all need to be capitalized and aren't at various points. Spelling: Psionics Grammar stuff: Should be got. Should be were. Should be "two". "Two" and "four" respectively. Should be "make", not "get". Comma after the second quotation mark, no line break. Mr. -TLhikan

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed. Just a single grammar issue: Should be a comma after "turned". Other than that, though, fantastic story. Sorry I had to use the "errors" message for something so minor . -TLhikan