Brickeens

I haven't seen your name in so long! And as someone who was raised in a similar background, don't beat yourself up about it! I know questioning and outgrowing beliefs you were raised in can be a painful one, but it's something you should be proud of.

well then clearly you're not a real fan of my blog

nice

What did they do to the blogs this time?

What's happening everyone? I may not feel or function like a person but I'm still alive and not out of the fight yet. I don't really have the energy to go into things in any great detail but I may be finally getting to the bottom of why the treatment for my terrible sleep breathing issues is failing. The good news is that I'm managing to improve things with my new knowledge and the bad news is that my breathing issues are orders of magnitude worse than anyone realised and my faith that said issues can be gotten under control and reliably kept that way is more than a little shaken. Can't believe I just lost another two years into a black hole of being able to do nothing, but here I am. Thank god my metabolism now works because I wouldn't have made it this far without it. Where is everyone else at?

this has come such a long way since its first days, I'm proud to have been there for its humble beginnings

yOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT'S UP EVERYONE TODAY I'M GOING TO BE REVIEWING SPIRIT'S BLOG ENTRY BUT FIRST I'D LIKE TO THANK MY P

Life isn't perfect, but at least Tekulo is still called "SwagtronYOLO".

It wasn't very good, but it was better for me knowing that Tekulo was called "SwagtronYOLO".

(in perfect astronnaut voice) bleep bloop even I cant understand star wars and im from Nasa

TEKULO CONGRATS AND GOOD LUCK

tekulo welcome back and congrats on your achievements

it obviously would have been better if I had been there

So as some of you may remember I experienced a miracle health improvement last year, and it's somehow been almost an entire year since that happened now, which is kind of frightening. Anyway I never posted an update so I'm going to do a quick one here. The good: the working metabolism is here to stay, and has been literally life changing. Last year I really felt like I was hanging on by a thread, but the metabolism has given me physical stamina that wasn't there before, and is (or was) improving my mood, concentration and general mental alertness as well, and life was starting to look pretty different. I have also been really enjoying the superpower of being able to go for hours and hours without food, and also eating cheese while simultaneously getting thinner. The bad: since February this year, my sleep has been trying to murder me. I've had sleep issues for a really long time but they were being treated since 2015 and were semi-under control until the treatment inexplicably started failing this February and my problems came back with a vengeance and are currently doing their best to drag me back to the depths of ######. The situation: back in 2015 I was diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea (not being able to breathe properly in your sleep which prevents you from getting deep sleep). I was put on CPAP treatment which is basically sleeping with a nose mask connected to a machine which delivers air pressure to you to keep you breathing properly. This worked really well for a year and a half and suddenly stopped working properly earlier this year. Long story short I have barely had a useful night's sleep in over five months at this point. I've seen my sleep specialist about it and they're trying different things but so far to no avail. Suffice to say that not getting deep sleep for over five months is very bad for your mental state and I'm unfortunately back to the desperate state of not having the mental stamina or attention span to be able to focus or do anything properly while simultaneously trying to keep my brain occupied at every moment so as to avoid completely out of control anxiety and doing my very best to not return to the depths of despair I was in last year. The most positive perspective I can put on things at the moment is that A) this can't last forever and B) I sure am glad I have the working metabolism on my side while this is happening, because if this happened before then I don't think I would make it. I'm honestly not sure how I lived before I started the CPAP treatment because holy moly I really need that thing to live. My sleep specialist is about to run out of options so it looks like I may have to go to hospital for another sleep study so they can attempt to figure out what on earth is going on. I can only hope the waiting list for another one isn't really long. In the meantime I'm being recommended trying some sort of medication to try and help me cope mentally but I'm not incredibly enthusiastic as the two former times I've been put on antidepressants/anti-anxiety medication they both had quite adverse effects and I had to be taken off them and then they also had bad withdrawal symptoms. How are you all doing?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIT

tekulo you are the best and you deserve so much better

i have no idea what's going on but i'm joining in anyway

prayer circle for tekulo

I'm pretty sure posting whatsoever is a pretty big achievement these days

I was really enthusiastic until I realised this was an RPG thing

i feel personally attacked by this post

better late than never

thank you all <3