OmegaLucasNuva

The current plan is to get the alpha and beta playable from start to end as much as possible and then provide a third build with the best content from each combined (although not customizable as you said), hopefully (if they can ever mod the game that deeply) with a new Makuta final boss.

The playable Kaita were on the alpha already but were cut for the beta. I think one of the ideas was Makuta using the Elemental Beasts' attacks in the final battle.

I have finished Book 8. Need to find the courage to edit my notes to post here.

It's this bit: “What’s the plan when we find them?” Gali whispered. “Do you remember the one we used when we cleaned out that Nui-Jaga nest on Mata Nui?” Tahu replied. Gali paused, trying to recall. Then she said, “Wait a second, we didn’t have a plan then. You and Kopaka were having one of your arguments. You hurled a fireball, missed, and set the brush on fire. The smoke drove the Nui-Jaga out, and we had to fight them all.” “That’s the plan,” said Tahu. This seems to reference that event. Though in the style guide it was Gali herself who suggested using smoke: “Gali will protest,” said the Toa of Water. “This matter is not settled. This plan is foolish and dangerous. The Nui-Jaga dislike smoke… they dislike water… using our powers, Tahu, we could force them from their nest and deal with them here in the open. Instead, you want to plunge in like a starving taku bird after a fish.”

I have been reading Book 8. I will post my complete feedback when I finish it, but I had to leave this bit here as it concerns Book 1. The Nui-Jaga nest event from the Style Guide is explained! So, I think we have reason to keep it in the standard version of Book 1. EDIT: Also regarding Book 1, this seems to be a thing: https://board.ttvchannel.com/t/unpublished-extended-version-of-tale-of-the-toa/35638/4

So, Book 7. Lots of stuff this time. Page 4: With that, Pridak idly tossed the battle leader back onto being scrambled to his feet and raced down the stairs to carry out his orders. - For some reason, part of this line was lost. Unlike the next one, the Word files Toatapio shared don't have the complete line. I was able to find it online though: With that, Pridak idly tossed the battle leader back onto the stone floor of the tower. The panicked being scrambled to his feet and raced down the stairs to carry out his orders. Page 4: Carapar and Mantax said nothing useful to add and the other because he did not want his allies to know his strategies. - Same as above, but with the complete line in Toatapio's files: Carapar and Mantax said nothing useful, one because he had nothing useful to add and the other because he did not want his allies to know his strategies. Page 14: Was the image of the comic cut in the bottom? It looks like there’s more that could fill the rest of the page. Page 24: Takadox made her go back and describe how it looked in great detail When she was done, he gave a low whistle. - Missing period after detail. Page 28: "There was a time when I did not look as I do now, or have to subsist on the bottom feeders of this cursed sea." - Shouldn’t it be had to subsist? Page 46: In some ways, to Dekar’s point of view. what happened was worse. - The period after view should be either removed or turned into a comma. Page 49: “He says his name is Brutaka,” Carapar answered. And that we work for him now.” - There’s a missing quotation mark after answered. Page 52: “I have already asked Jaller to investigate the accident.” - This is before Naming Day: Jaller should be Jala. Page 53: Then he stopped. Behind his mask, his eyes widened. The first rays of dawn had illuminated the object in the road now, and Kongu could see it for what it was: a dead Le-Matoran, mask shattered from a fall. In his hand, he clutched a stone tablet that read “Toa Tuyet.” - There’s a missing colon after read. Page 54: But before they could do it, it was stolen – no one knows by who. - English isn’t my first language, so I may be wrong here: shouldn’t it be whom instead of who? Page 54: Lhikan had offered to take on the other two Dark Hunterss and it was now looking like the Toa of Fire had the easy job. - Hunterss should be Hunters. Page 62: “Then we beat the swarms before, and we’ll beat them again,” Tahu replied. - The phrase might make more sense if you remove then or alternatively add as after it and remove and: “We beat the swarms before, and we’ll beat them again,” Tahu replied. or “Then as we beat the swarms before, we’ll beat them again,” Tahu replied. Page 66: “Um, Kongu,” said Hewkii. “We’re under-water, right?” - Under-water should be underwater. Page 67: Although some of us doubted the wisdom of this – Pohatu especially – in the end, we did what seemed we had to do. - Not sure if this comma should stay, be removed, or if a new one should be added before in the end. If we remove – Pohatu especially – (it being surrounded by dashes means it can safely be removed without any effect on the rest) we can see that the phrase (as it is now) loses its “organization”. Page 68: Matoro, shocked, didn’t answer. All he could think of was the words “can’t breathe air” if that was the case, how could he and the others ever return to Metru Nui, their home? Had the search for the Mask of Life doomed them to life under the sea? - Either a period or an and should be added after “can’t breath air”. Page 70: “Quiet,” said a white being, this one resembling a Toa-size shark. - Shouldn’t it be Toa-sized? Page 70: “Perhaps,” he said. Our day was long ago. But a new era is about to begin… and it starts with this.” - A quotation mark is missing before Our. Page 73: “We meet again, Matoro,” said Maxilos. The last time, our positions were reversed… I was the vanquished, while you stood with the victors. But you were always wiser than Jaller, Hewkii, and the rest of those spineless, self-important fools. You knew I wasn’t gone for good.” - Another quotation mark missing before The last time. Page 62: “No one said being a Toa hero would be a bowl of bula berries,” said Lewa. “Now let’s get out of here – it looks like we have a lot of unpleasant work to do.” - Looking at previous Books, Toa hero should be written Toa-hero. Page 79: He wished he was with them, tearing and rending and destroying enemies always a cure for boredom. - A dash is missing before always: It should read destroying enemies – always a cure for boredom. Page 81: "For the last time, Ehlek where is he? Where has he taken the mask?” - I know you said three words with two commas look strange, but I think the first phrase of this quote loses its meaning if another comma isn’t added after Ehlek (or at least if the one comma of the phrase is moved from before Ehlek to after Ehlek): Either For the last time, Ehlek, where is he? or For the last time Ehlek, where is he? Page 88: A few moments later, the two Toa Inika stood back to back. - This happens after they were christened Toa Mahri, so Inika should be replaced with Mahri (this only happens in the parts taken from Prisoners of the Pit; the parts from the serials and Downfall always refer to them as Mahri) Page 89: The two Toa lnika staggered to their feet. - Same as above: Inika to Mahri. Page 100: In his mind, millennia had passed, filled with hard-fought battles and great victories. Most recently, they had saved a band of Toa besieged by frostelus on a remote island. - In previous books, frostelus was capitalized. Page 100: “Zylglak,” the Toa of Air said abruptly. “You were killed by zyglak.” - Typo on Zylglak, should be Zyglak. Also, it was capitalized in previous books as well (there are several other instances of this lowercase zyglak in this page I didn’t mention). Page 104: Hours later, the Toa Inika regrouped at the sunken city. - Inika to Mahri again. Page 106: The other Toa Inika were spread out around them, too far away to hear. - Same. Inika to Mahri. Page 110: Toa Hahli and Hydraxon, their fight for-gotten, moved as one after the Barraki. - For-gotten should be forgotten. Page 111: (…) Your sacrifice is needless. Defilak – fighting and dying is what we are here to do. (…) - The period after needless should be a comma. Page 114: “No!” Axonn answered. You must not! (…) - A quotation mark is missing before You. Page 118: “You all wondered why, Takadox and Kalmah even followed me there, trying to learn my reason. Now I can tell you: I was searching for something… and I have found it.” - The comma after why should be a period. Page 119: Page unnecessarily left blank. Page 123: (…) And by the way, Hydraxon, the hound may belong’ to you, but I can be very… persuasive.” - A single quotation mark is missing before belong. Page 123: Jaller didn’t know just what was going on. But his Mask of Sonar told him Matoro was approaching fast from above. - I think it would flow better if these two sentences were joined into one, maybe with a comma. Maybe. Not sure. Jaller didn’t know just what was going on, but his Mask of Sonar told him Matoro was approaching fast from above. Page 135: At one time, Jaller would have dismissed Matoro’s words as insane. But it had not been so very long ago that he had been killed by a Rahkshi then revived through the power of a being called Takanuva. Who could say what was impossible? - Shouldn’t Takanuva be Takutanuva? Page 138: “He never thought he was a true Toa hero,” said Kongu. “He always said he wasn’t an athlete or a leader, ‘just a translator.’ - Again, Toa hero to Toa-hero. Page 140: And yes, he dreams now, though he had not done so in the past. Perhaps it is the result of his brush with non-existence, or perhaps some-thing else brought on the images he views. - Some-thing should be something. Also, for some reason the text from the epilogue, when copied to another format, is pasted with double spacing and some words missing. It is a common thing with PDF files, but strangely this is the only moment it has happened in Books 1-7. Also, one detail from Book 8 that might affect this one: The Mutran Chronicles have a similar Entry format to the Gali Nuva blog. The latter has the entire text in italics. I think they should have the same formatting — either both italicized or neither (probably not italicized to keep woth line with similar written accounts from other books, like the Wall of History segments). Also it might be better to include the serial title for these blogs so that a random Entry 1 text doesn't show up from nowhere. Again, basically like you did with the Wall of History segments. This does not apply to serials with regular format such as Into the Darkness as those fit seamlessly with the regular text. And that brings to mind a different suggestion: those "Entry #" bits might look better if they are written in the same bold text as the parts saying "3000 years ago..." or in the formatting of the Wall of History titles.

I was first thinking action pieces, but simple background pieces from each year would be fantastic dust covers to the black leathery covers simontikaxonn suggested. For example: 01 - Beach 02 - Bohrok nest 03 - Kini Nui 04 - Metru Nui or Ta Metru with the Morbuzakh 05 - Ruined Metru Nui or the place in Ko Metru where Keetongu was found 06 - Voya Nui beach (parallel with 01) 07 - Plains of Air with Mahri Nui in the background 08 - The Codrex or something in Karda Nui 09 - Bara Magna desert 10 - Maybe a view of the three planets and the nebula in space making the UDD symbol. EDIT: Feedback on Book 6: Page 40: “I may not know who – or what – you are, said Tahu. “But I have seen enough to know you and your allies are what Toa exist to battle.” - A quotation mark is missing after "who – or what – you are". Page 98: There’s no “End chapter” text on the end of the comic. Not sure if there’s some missing from previous books, I didn’t pay attention there. Page 110 (of the PDF): The period is missing on the first balloon and a O is missing on the third. Page 125: “The name is Vezok,” answered the Piraka. My partners and I already claimed this island by right of conquest. And we don’t like trespassers.” - Missing a quotation mark before “My partners and I”. Page 165: “They are couriers for a different message from me,” the Turaga replied. They were just leaving to go back to their home.” - Again, quotation mark, before “They were just leaving”. Page 186: “Woah, easy friend!” the Toa said. “Didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that. Force of habit, my apologies; my element is Sonics.” - There might be a comma missing between “easy” and “friend”. Page 199: Axonn had spent a lot of time lately on the wrong end, of battles. - The comma between “end” and “of battles” should be removed. Page 225: Unnecessarily blank page. Also, considering how important it is in Book 7, I think the direct references to the Pit made once Botar appears in Book 6 should be capitalized. The references in Matoran sayings that appear here and there and are not direct references can stay in lowercase.

I was thinking something to the likes of this: https://www.deviantart.com/art/The-Storyteller-442334975 Or this, but with Tahu's foot visible: https://just-a-drawing-cat.deviantart.com/art/Mata-nui-01-703422780

I've been thinking, it'd be really nice to have a physical version of this. Even better if it had some sweet cover artwork, like the Harry Potter novels have. I wonder if there'd be artists in the fandom interested in providing illustrations of key moments of the story as covers for a physical version of this.

I just started Book 6 and Lewa uses the hyphenated version here. So I guess it was not for distinction between tree and chutespeak. EDIT: I checked Book 3. Tales of the Masks uses the hyphenated form, Mask of Light uses the non-hyphenated. So, it looks like it's more of a Farshtey vs Kapka thing.

Finished Book 5. Here’s what I found (page numbers based on the Complete version): - On page 28: Vakama evidently agreed, for he said, “All right, Karzahni. We will do your errand. But if you plan any treachery –” The second line (starting with "plan") is misaligned. - On page 85, there’s a pagebreak that shouldn’t be there (as the chapter doesn’t end there). - On page 110: His forelegs were surprisingly short, but the rest of his body was overwhelming huge and powerful. Shouldn’t it be “overwhelmingly”? - On page 123: “Then all of that, everything you and Onewa learned – it was the truth?” asked Nokama. It makes no sense to be Nokama who says this, for two reasons: Nokama was there in Metru Nui so she lived the story, she should know about this (and we learn at the end of Time Trap that Vakama told the real story about the whole “who were destined to be Toa Metru” shenanigans); also, according to chapter 23 of this book, Vakama was the only Turaga present in the Amaja Circle, along with the seven Toa and Hahli. Thus, this line should probably be said by Gali or Hahli if you want to keep the gender, or Pohatu if you take the first name basis into account. - On page 186: We have brought it to Metru Nui and have hidden it. The next image's text starts with lowercase (and continues from this phrase), so the period on the phrase I quoted should either be eliminated or replaced with a comma. - On page 311: All of this Makuta had read in Vakama’s mind, plus one thing more: Not all the pods had made it to safety. Shouldn’t the word “not” be lowercase? Also, I have noticed something that would be nice to be “fixed” for consistency sake, but it probably is too troublesome to do: in the first books (probably the ones set on Mata Nui, though I can't be completely sure), all treespeak is written with no space between the words (“likethis”), while in later books it is written with a hyphen between the words (“like-this”). It would be nice to have all treespeak done in the same style throughout all books, but I can see this being problematic as one would have to search for all instances of treespeak manually.

Finished book 4. Besides a blank page at the end of Chapter 27 (page 89), nothing to report.

Nevermind, I counted the (correct) Naming day instance of Kohlii twice. My bad. EDIT: Reading volume 3. So far, my comments: Page 70: “Very well,” said Vakama as the others rose. “I propose that we speak with them after the kolhii ball tournament. Surely nothing will happen there that will distract us from our purpose… is missing a quotation mark at the end. Also, the lowercase "kolhii" in the chapter book material versus the uppercase "Kolhii" in the MNOG2 parts. Page 72: “Takua!” Jaller yelled. “What are you doing down here?”Takua winced. He’d forgotten all about the kolhii game. Is there a line missing here? The movie has one of Jaller mentioning the Kolhii game, and it'd make sense to be here too considering Takua's reaction. Page 86: “You will always be honored in Ta-Koro!” he concludes as he turns back to the fire. Theres a paragraph alignment issue here. Page 88: Hahli decides to investigate the large statue which she passed by on her travels to and from Po-Koro. Another alignment issue. The MNOG2 content is far too dense, but I have no idea how one could make it better.

Finished Book 2. Here's more stuff: Pages 73 and 128: "Kolhii" shows up again, but just once in each of these pages (it shows a third time in the last page but, being Naming Day, it's correct there). Page 80: Lacking a C in "cannot" on the last baloon, should be easy to fix taking the C from "control" Page 83: Lacking an N and a misplaced bold A in the third baloon on the right. As above, easy to fix. Page 107: Was the correct term "Ta-Koran"? I seem to remember "Ta-Koronan" being used in Book 1. Page 116: There's an empty yellow square in the top left corner. The Matoran Nui comic back in Book 1 had a few too. Did you remove something from there or were they as-is from the source?

Book 2, Page 51: “Not onlyjust me, either." is missing a space. Book 2: The word "krana" is lowercase in the content coming from the Chapter Books, but capitalized in the Wall of History sections. Also, off topic, “Makuta,” Lewa interjected suddenly. “It was Makuta. He released the manyswarms when we tried to awaken Mata Nui. It was not yet the right time, the time he had planned – but he outsent them early, hoping to stop us.” Are they foreshadowing Makuta's masterplan this early? Or am I misinterpreting this quote? Now, onto the Bohrok-Kal section.