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Gary Oak

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    -Toa Lhikevikk-

    Posted

    1. No known species of reindeer can fly. But there ARE 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has seen.

     

    2. There are 2 billion children (under 18) in the world. But since Santa doesn`t appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist and Jewish children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total- 378 million or so. At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

     

    3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second.

     

    * This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining gifts under the tree, eat the snacks, get back up the chimney, get back in the sleigh, and move on to the next house.

     

    * Assuming that each of these 91.8 million homes are distributed evenly (which we know to be false but for the sake of these calculations we will accept) we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops.

     

    * This means that Santa`s sleigh is traveling at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe moves at a poky 27.4 MPS; the average reindeer runs at 15 MPH.

     

    4. The sleigh's payload adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.

     

    * On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point one) could pull TEN TIMES the usual amount, we can not do the job with 8 or even 9. We need 214,000 reindeer. This increases the weight, not even counting the sleigh, to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison this is 4 times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.

     

    5. A mass of 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer in the same manner as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.

     

    * In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the next pair of reindeer, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousands of a second.

     

    * Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times the force of gravity. A 300 pound Santa would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

     

    6. Conclusion: There was a Santa, but he's dead now. Merry Christmas!

     

    geekitron, CHRISTIAN people believe in the CHRISTAN WORK ETHIC. this is mine, i worked for it, why do i give it to you. i'll give it to my kid, because i love him. i don't love this random stranger in africa, so i won't work my butt off for him.

     

    thus, christmas.

     

    the rest of you bandwagoners? i got nothin to say about you. he's right about you.

    Ptolemy - The Risen

    Posted

    I know, I kinda started that whole thing. That's why I reported it (I guess after you already closed it?). Sarcasm led to more sarcasm led to...yeah.

    Hey! :angry:

     

    I stand by my opinions I said in the topic. Texting was invented so teenage girls could dump their boyfriends. Simple as that.

     

    ~~Hasta la Vista

     

    Noxryn

    Posted

    Where is the moment we needed the most

    You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

    They tell me your blue skies fade to gray

    They tell me your passion's gone away

    And I don't need no carryin' on

     

    You stand in the line just to hit a new low

    You're faking a smile with the coffee you go

    You tell me your life's been way off line

    You're falling to pieces every time

    And I don't need no carryin' on

     

    Because you had a bad day

    You're taking one down

    You sing a sad song just to turn it around

    You say you don't know

    You tell me don't lie

    You work at a smile and you go for a ride

    You had a bad day

    The camera don't lie

    You're coming back down and you really don't mind

    You had a bad day

    You had a bad day

     

    Will you need a blue sky holiday?

    The point is they laugh at what you say

    And I don't need no carryin' on

     

    You had a bad day

    You're taking one down

    You sing a sad song just to turn it around

    You say you don't know

    You tell me don't lie

    You work at a smile and you go for a ride

    You had a bad day

    The camera don't lie

    You're coming back down and you really don't mind

    You had a bad day

     

    (Oooh.. a holiday..)

     

    Sometimes the system goes on the blink

    And the whole thing turns out wrong

    You might not make it back and you know

    That you could be well oh that strong

    And I'm not wrong

     

    (yeah...)

     

    So where is the passion when you need it the most

    Oh you and I

    You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

     

    Cause you had a bad day

    You're taking one down

    You sing a sad song just to turn it around

    You say you don't know

    You tell me don't lie

    You work at a smile and you go for a ride

    You had a bad day

    You've seen what you like

    And how does it feel for one more time

    You had a bad day

    You had a bad day

     

    ~GG~

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