The Marlfox

lots of folks (too many to name) from the libray since that's where i spend most of my time. nerd habits die hard XD

i've read both of these stories, i really really enjoyed them! they flowed so nicely, plot, dialog, everything, i couldn't put the story down. (figurtively speaking XD ) one thing i especially liked and stuck with for a while after i read was kaomata's statement that 'i am the jungle' and that halhli was water, and the jungle needs water to survive. those lines were perfect. looks like you've gotten some pretty in depth reviews, i'm sure those reviews covered anything that needed covering, so i'll just leave my mark of appreciation here. thank you for the awesome read, nuile!

hey its been a while since i posted here. i'm still keeping up with your story, just to let you know. it just keeps getting better, imo. there's not much i can say past that, other than keep up the awesome work. one thing, though. did evior ever make it to the cave with his two friends after that fake patrol thing? i'm a bit confused about what happened there.

so. depressing stuff, that first part of the story. i can't say i'm a huge fan of angsty stuff, but you wrote it pretty okay. like, you really felt for the narrator as she was narrating. the first few sentences though, they're written in like second person or something, using 'you' and all, then it switches to first all of th sudden . that threw me off, but overall it wasn't a big deal. also, in between the first and second parts, where you said you combined it with the story about hiking, i thought the transition from scene to scene was kinda abrupt, i had to go back and re read parts. but the insane man who thought people were animals, that was very creative, i liked that part. it was good dialog. eheh, my review's not as fancy and in depth as others you've gotten, i bet, but i really was impressed by the first part's stark narration, i thought i'd let you know.

so i was looking at the COT library topic thingy. yeah, it's kinda lonesome, you should submit this to spruce it up a bit. i really liked it, btw. i dont' think i've read much COT stuff from you before, but you never disappoint. i like the story because its eye opening, you don't need to travel to africa or donate millions of dollars to help someone. and also, repeating what other people have pointed out, christina seems a bit too smart for her age. congrats on getting your name in bronze too, btw. obzpcitizenship and whatnot. so awesome story as per usual, very touching. sorry for the late ish review, summer's been busy for me XD

:oin 11 years....i'll be old!! that means i'll have to get an actual life an not just sit around and geek out all day. if i remember this place, i'll look back and be like 'heh, good old days.'

hey, it's nice to see you repost this from the old forums. too bad you couldn't have entered it in the Flash Fiction marathon, I think it could done well. anyways, two thumbs up, like usual, Aderia!

haha, oh good now i don't have to dig around in the backpages of this forum to find these also, it must have taken forever to get all those links for your reccommendations!

i nulled my vote, there were too many i liked

i went with six because i really liked the different approach the author took to the theme.

well, i used to be 'Baby Banana' but that name's shelf life expired, so now i'm "Mr. Chiquita" ta da!

What ideas do you like to portray in your Bionicle Stories?nothing specific, i've only just started writing myself. What's your favorite genre to write about?adventure, and things i haven't seen in the library before.Why do you post stories and when do you find time to read other entries?mostly, i read other entries which usually inspire me Contest ideas for the Library?i like the idea of collaboratives i've seen, and i also like the idea of songfics, i don't know if those contests have been done before thoShort Stories and Epics that are your favorites?i dunno, there are a lot of seperate stories i like, but as authors, Grant Sud, Fisher64, Cederak, Cap'n K, Kagha, GSR, and Aderia (especially, cuz i got to meet her in person) are some of my favorites.also, i really like this topic, all the famous writers here share their thoughts and its like i have a front row seat

Chapter 2: Conversation and Transformation Leaning heavily on his staff, Turaga of Stone, Bana, made his way to the Board building in the center of the city. The head Turaga, Tride, a Turaga of Iron stood stoically in the entrance hall. The two other Turaga, stood behind him. Bana could picture them as a Toa Team easily. He wished he could say the same for himself. “Turaga Bana, you have a guest. He says he knows you,” Tride cut right to the chase. “He’s in the meeting chamber.” “I don’t get a choice as to whether or not I want to receive this visitor?” Bana wanted to know. “No, you don’t. If he knows you, it might help you remember your past.” Tride told him. “Of course, Turaga,” Bana murmured. It was no secret that the other Turaga didn’t trust him still, but it still stung to see the mistrust so blatant in their eyes, and hear it in their voices. He didn’t blame them, though. Only himself. He sat silently at the biweekly meetings, never offering input, objection, or support. He holed himself up in his home on the outskirts of the city ninety percent of his time. Bana was surprised that they didn’t suspect him of spying or anything. Or maybe they did. On the inside, Bana didn’t want to be a sullen, reclusive Turaga. But something wouldn’t let him break out of his shell. Maybe Tride was on to something, and this person who claimed to be from his past would break that shell. Turaga Bana nodded curtly as he shuffled past the other Turaga. His plain wood and metal walking staff clumped on the tile floor as his third leg. *** “Hello?” Turaga Bana called softly as he pushed open to the door to the Meeting Chamber. It was a heavily walled room on three sides, but the last wall was basically just one giant window. Since it was nighttime though, the light came from the lightstone lanterns lining the walls instead of the Suns. When Bana stepped fully into the room, he saw a figure sitting in one of the chairs along the squat wooden table. “It is good to see you,” The person said. “Do I know you?” The Stone Turaga asked, not in a rude way, since this person could very possibly know him. “No, you do not. And strictly speaking, I do not know you. Would it seem too forward of me to ask that you accompany me?” The person had a hood over his mask, and it was impossible to tell if he was jesting or not. “Yes, it would,” Bana replied. “I thought so,” The figure gave a small chuckle and rose, walking towards the door. “It will just be a nice walk on down to the beach. I can tell you about your past.” The figure was about half the height of a Toa, but nothing else seemed definite about it in the uneven shadows of the room. But Bana did not sense anything malicious about this individual. Naturally, he was dying to learn about himself. Self-analysis and meditation had only gotten him so far in his journey of self discovery, and it was time to take the next step forwards. As the figure walked past the Turaga towards a back exit to the house, Bana followed. *** “Do you recognize this place?” The being asked, turning to Turaga Bana. “It’s the beach I was found on,” Bana replied. In the spotty moonlight, he saw that his companion had the build of a tall Matoran, and wore a hood over his mask. Despite this, the being still emanated no danger or threat. But that very fact did make Bana a bit suspicious. As though the figure had heard Bana’s thoughts, it spoke again. “Did it ever occur to you, Bana, that going with a complete and utter stranger to a secluded beach at night could be dangerous?” “Of course,” “But you came anyways?” “Because I wanted to learn my history,” “You can learn history from scrolls and tablets,” “I wanted to learn about my history,” Bana clarified. “I trusted that you could enlighten me.” “Good,” His companion turned to face him. “The Great Spirit will reward you for that trust.” “Who are you?” the Turaga demanded. The tone of voice that the stranger used was eccentric in its authority. “This is about who you are, not me. But if it helps you, Mata Nui sent me,” “Are you a prophet?” At this, the being laughed, “No, nothing so important. An apparition, an incarnation, a manifestation.” “Of what?” “Life,” Came the vague, ambiguous reply. “…Oh,” Bana kicked at a wave that rolled up the beach to his feet uselessly. “Bana,” At his name, the Turaga of Stone looked up. The figure had removed the hood, and Bana looked into pure golden eyes set in a plain gray Kanohi Hau. The eyes were unnatural, and they froze the Turaga in place. The being raised a long-fingered hand and touched Bana’s forehead, and then heartlight, much to the Turaga’s shock. “The Great Spirit Mata Nui gives you your life back.” As soon as the words had been spoken, a tremor knocked the sstunned Turaga off his feet, and a flash of lightning from nowhere blinded him. Blinking rapidly, Bana staggered to his feet. He was alone on the beach. More disturbingly, he saw only one undersized pair of footprints, suggesting that he had been alone on the beach the entire time. Bana shook his head, squinting at the small footprints. They were his, obviously, but his own footprints shouldn’t seem so little. Bana looked down and almost fell again. The sight that greeted him wasn’t an old twisted body of a Turaga. It was a strong, broad shouldered, powerful body of a Toa of Stone.

Should be 'dangerously.' There should be a period between 'specific' and 'He.'Like I said, I enjoyed this chapter of your epic. It will be interesting to see who the visitor is.heyy thanks, smoke monster! i'll definitely go oin and fix those nitpicks.and yeah, i see what you mean about the other turaga not immediately accepting bana. heh, i guess i didn't think that one all the way through. i'll work on that next time.thanks for taking time to drop a review!