Mountain Tim

Riding on the Plains.

"Nia: Even when trapped by karma's cycle,<br /><br />Yoko: The feelings that were left behind will open the door!<br /><br />Leeron: Even if the Infinite Universe were to go against us,<br /><br />Viral: Our burning blood will cut through fate!<br /><br />Simon: We'll break through the heavens and dimensions!<br /><br />Everyone but Simon: We'll show you our path through force!<br /><br />Simon: Tengen Toppa...Gurren Lagann!!<br /><br />Everyone: JUST WHO THE H### DO YOU THINK WE ARE!?"<br /><br />- Team Dai-Gurren, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann (aka The Most Hotblooded Bad### Kicking-Reason-To-The-Curb Mecha Anime In The History Of History. ROW ROW, FIGHT THE POWAH!!)<br /><br />... ... ...<br /><br />Every two years, the BZPower Staff selects a small group of members to help decide on new rules, and to select which rules to be abolished. However, one rule is a constant:<br /><br />0. Zanda is NEVER allowed to cook for himself or anyone else. We don't want another 'Lasagna zombie' takeover, now do we?<br /><br />...<br /><br />1. Zev is not allowed to drive the Hummer.<br /><br />1a. Even in an emergency.<br /><br />1b. ESPECIALLY in an emergency.<br /><br />1c. The Hummer owns. This is a law.<br /><br />2. Do not ask Zev where he got the pepperpot-shaped things, or how he got them to listen to him.<br /><br />3. We are to close the portal Kamina came through and ignore him. We don't need people from his Universe here.<br /><br />3a. We don't care if Simon will 'Pierce the Heavens with his drill.' Close the portal means close the portal.<br /><br />3b. No one may join the Great Gurren Brigade.<br /><br />4. Rule three has been repealed on threat of everyone being owned by the Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.<br /><br />5. The Great Gurren Brigade is now part of BZPower.<br /><br />6. Kamina has stolen Zev's sword and is using it at full power. Assume the 'kiss your behind goodbye' position.<br /><br />7. I'm back, BABY!! - Zev<br /><br />7a. He got it back...Amazing...And yet so terrifying...<br /><br />8. These are hereby no longer suitable battlecries:<br /><br />-SPOON!!<br /><br />-Your mom!<br /><br />-Leeroy Jenkins!<br /><br />-Tobi is a good boy!<br /><br />-Art is a bang, yeah!<br /><br />-TAKE MY LOVE, MY ANGER, AND ALL OF MY SORROW!!<br /><br />-Screw you guys, I'm going home!<br /><br />9. Or Pony.<br /><br />10. And especially 'It's-a Mario.'<br /><br />10a. Even if you change it to Luigi.<br /><br />11. And it is NOT a good day to die.<br /><br />11a. It's a good day for someone ELSE to die!! - Zev<br /><br />12. And anyone using 'Respect My Authority' will be executed on-site.<br /><br />13. I did not inhale is NOT an acceptable excuse.<br /><br />14. Elvis is the King. You. Must. REMEMBER.<br /><br />15. Zev, if you have to ask, you probably shouldn't do it.<br /><br />16. Rule 15 has been repealed as it encourages Zev not to ask.<br /><br />17. Do not 'throw the dog a bone.' Zanda hates cleaning blood off his clothes.<br /><br />18. No-one, and this means NO...ONE...is to wake Zev up. He wakes up when he wants to. And he LIKES the blood on his clothes. You have been warned.<br /><br />19. 'He followed me home, can I keep him?' is not an acceptable excuse to bring Banned Members back to BZPower.<br /><br />19a. Even if they are wearing bunny-ears. Yes, we saw you, so get packing.<br /><br />20. Zev's sugar ingestion is to be monitored at all times.<br /><br />21. You may not sell new members tickets to see Zev's deathmatches, and then tell them they will be his opponents.<br /><br />22. PLEASE stop telling Zev's raptor kittens are delicacies. It may be funny, but it's also scary.<br /><br />23. The above rule now applies to Zev.<br /><br />24. Zev, just assume the answer is 'no.'<br /><br />25. PLEASE stop spreading the rumors that 'Blood of the Innocent' and/or 'Broken Hearts' are proper sustenance. Zev's been giving people a hungry stare, and we don't need him to go cannibalistic on us.<br /><br />26. All pets must be approved by at least one Moderator.<br /><br />26a. This includes you, Saya.<br /><br />26b. Seriously, send the rabbit back to Caerbannog now.<br /><br />26c. We don't care if he makes Zanda behave.<br /><br />27. The above rule is pending for repeal because it is the only so far seen method to make Zev behave.<br /><br />28. Our awesome gargantuan guillotine-like defense mechanism against Spammers is not, in fact, a see-saw.<br /><br />28a. Or a swing.<br /><br />28b. Seriously, Zev, we're sure someone's got a playground somewhere.<br /><br />28c. No, we won't get that Kurotsuchi-person who's visiting to build you one. The mere idea keeps us awake at night.<br /><br />29. No, Zev, no choo-choo for you. We don't why you'd want a train, but we know it won't end well.<br /><br />30. Miss Saya~ Black Chaos Mage does NOT have a rocket-punch.<br /><br />30a. We don't care how hard she punched you, Zanda, it was just a regular punch.<br /><br />30b. Seriously, shut up! No one believes you!<br /><br />31. For Pete's sake, send the pepperpots to Earth where there are people to deal with them!<br /><br />31a. Okay, give Zev a break, let him take care of them.<br /><br />32. OH YEAH!! - Zev<br /><br />33. Zev, you are to stop putting random names on planks of wood and walking up to people to measure their heads. No matter how amusing Zanda thinks it is to see his plank; And for Pete's sakes, don't let him see Saya's. In short, just stop it, and leave our peace alone.<br /><br />34. Violence is not the answer. - Saya<br /><br />34a. Violence IS the answer, provided you use enough of it. -Zev<br /><br />35. It is no longer acceptable to tell new members that Zev is the God of War, and it is unsightly to see them worshipping him.<br /><br />35a. Just because the new members that have been worshipping Zev show a proficiency in energy attacks does NOT mean that his unfathomable power is leaking down into his priests.<br /><br />36. Kanda is NOT the great attractor and the end of the Universe.<br /><br />36a. Even if you swore you saw a bottle of Coke float across the room and into Zanda's hand.<br /><br />37. Please inform Zev he is no longer allowed anywhere near London or Rome.<br /><br />37a. Also tell Hellsing and Iscariot that we'll try to reign in our monster if they reign in their's. <br /><br />38. Zev is banned from all BZPower Science Centers until...forever.<br /><br />38a. Seriously, Mad Scientist Zev is too Semi-Demi-Godly for even us.<br /><br />39. I don't care if it was 'just a joke.' Valhalla is NEVER to be mentioned around Zev.<br /><br />40. Do not go ANYWHERE near Haruhi Suzumiya and/or her S.O.S. Brigade. We have quite enough problems.<br /><br />40a. Yes, this includes Kyon. While wimpy, he possesses sarcasm and overprotective females (and one male) with bizzare and deadly powers.<br /><br />40b. GET BACK HERE, ZEV!!<br /><br />41. Zev's medication is to be forcefully given to him every day.<br /><br />41a. His CURRENT medication.<br /><br />41b. His CURRENT medication, CORRECT DOSAGE.<br /><br />41c. Seriously, as funny as it was for the women and men who survived without laughing themselves to death, we don't want him running around, cheeks to the breeze, doing Sailor Moon poses and quotes again.<br /><br />42. After a week of general unpleasantness, Zev is not allowed to drink more than four cups of coffee and then hear ANYTHING by Rob Zombie.<br /><br />43. Zev is to report to our base for a lesson on the phrase 'with great power comes great responsibility.' -BZP Women's Association<br /><br />43a. Great job, ladies. Now Zev has jumped out a window and is walking around, saying he has a 'responsibility to punch people in the face.'<br /><br />44. Zev, stop making your secret calls. You may not start a Battle Royale between you, Kratos, Kenpachi, Zabuza, Shishio and Mihawk for the heck of it. Just, don't ask, don't do it, and keep the scenario trapped in fanfiction.<br /><br />45. Zev has gotten ahold of WMD's. He is to be given back his stuffed animal, Zanda. You know, we ALL know who it was that raided Iraq an hour before it started...<br /><br />46. Zev is no longer allowed to wear the camouflage muscleshirt and/or sunhat. He thinks and acts like a drill sergeant. Too God-Mode for us. So, we're giving them to Zanda.<br /><br />47. Fuyuki City is hereby off-limits.<br /><br />47a. No, Zev. Nothing's there. Nothing at all. It's actually quite peaceful.<br /><br />47b. [CLASSIFIED] No Kanda, you may not use a future version of yourself to participate in the Holy Grail War.<br /><br />48. Zev is no longer allowed to serve cake, no matter how delicious it is.<br /><br />49. Do NOT challenge Zev to a friendly game of chess. The last time somebody did, he started a plot to take over BZPower, and would have succeeded, had Saya not humiliated and defeated him and gotten rid of every last one of his supporters with a single timely kick to his crotch.<br /><br />50. Zev, stop bothering Superman.<br /><br />50a. Seriously, he's got enough problems with his two jobs.<br /><br />50b. That does NOT give you permission to annoy the rest of the Justice League.<br /><br />51. Zev is not allowed to hear the full lyrics to Dust In The Wind and/or Child Of Innocence.<br /><br />51a. Seriously, guys, the man's already practically a force of nature, he does NOT need more incentive to destroy things.<br /><br />52. Keep those 'Lotus Assassin' freaks away from my house! Zanda can't stop shaking and I consider them creepy and more than just a bit nuts. - Saya<br /><br />52a. Request denied. Creepy and nuts they may be, but they are freakin' useful. Besides, they keep Zev happy. - Ninjo<br /><br />53. Zev, get rid of the freakin' symbiote.<br /><br />53a. OH ---- IT'S LOOSE!!<br /><br />53b. Wee aarrre Vveennomm...<br /><br />54. Goa'uld symbiotes are NOT to be implanted in Spammers.<br /><br />54a. We don't care if they give you a good fight, Zev.<br /><br />54b. Zev, seriously. We have enough problems with the symbiotes infecting normal beings. Anymore implants in Spammers and you are on your own. - Daniel<br /><br />55. Beans are not magical, nor fruit.<br /><br />56. No matter how funny, lacing the new guys' drink and food with hallucinogens and sending them on patrol is no longer acceptable conduct.<br /><br />57. "The Good Boy Rule:" If Tobi becomes a member of BZP, do NOT mock the bowl and spoon. Yes, that is his weapon, and it will own you.<br /><br />58. The Starship Enterprise is hereby allowed to participate in BZP Member Training. We don't know how she got here, how she can talk, or exactly what kind of tasks she could perform, but she wants to become a member, and I'm sure not gonna try and stop her.<br /><br />58a. NO. BAD ZEV.<br /><br />58b. From now on, Photon Torpedoes are NOT the 'Universal form of greeting when power is out.'<br /><br />58c. Or for pranks.<br /><br />58d. The Starship Enterprise is hereby not allowed for joyriding in the Human World unless in an emergency.<br /><br />58e. 'Naruto sucks' is NOT an emergency.<br /><br />58f. Nor is running out of Coke.<br /><br />58g. Or candy.<br /><br />58h. Come ON, people, it's not a toy!<br /><br />59. The bet between Saya and Zanda to see who can turn out the bad###-est fighter from wimps is hereby suspended. The people who saw that Longbottom boy whack Riddle's snake after Zanda's training still haven't uncurled from the fetal position.<br /><br />59a. Besides, Zev wants in on the next round, and NOBODY wants to see what he'll come up with.<br /><br />60. For the last time Zev, NO ORBITAL ANTI-SPAMMER WEAPONS!!<br /><br />60a. Why? 1. You've spent all of our budget enough times already and 2. We know you'll use them on us at some point.<br /><br />61. Alright...We don't know where the purple foxgirl with glasses came from, but humor Zev and pretend he didn't have something to do with it. He's still sulking from not being allowed to go hunting Wabbits. For those uninformed, 'Wabbits' is codename for 'Highly dangerous terrorists.'<br /><br />62. No, Omi does not 'make out with a dozen chicks every morning' and 'down a dozen barrels of rootbeer every night.' We don't know how these rumors were started, but, we can make an educated guess.<br /><br />62a. Zev: Do not be fooled by his goofy, benevolent facade! This man is a beast! A be - *Rest of rule is obscured by blood*<br /><br />63. Zev, we know you're a practiced shaman. Saya, we know you've been trained by the finest of healers. You're both great physicians. But you two are taking the Best Doctor Challenge WAY too far. So, I'm calling it: Get some scalpels and settle this like doctors, or SHUT UP and let it DIE.<br /><br />64. Kanda and Zanda, upon receiving Chemistry Sets, are not allowed to have their Mad Scientist-offs inside BZPower. Now, Zev, take the Langoliers resulting from their last competition. They're in the North.<br /><br />64a. NO, YOU MORON, NORTH, NORTH, NOT WEST!! Well, that's where the New Members are staying. They probably won't be missed...Nevertheless, Saya, I don't want anyone lost. I don't care if you have to jump on his shoulders and use those big hyena-ears like reins, SAVE THOSE NEWBS!! Godspeed, O'Connell, Godspeed.<br /><br />65. Zev is no longer allowed to make any more clones, and he has to eat the two he has now. Why, you ask? Because he has just taken the barbershop trio thing far too far.<br /><br />66. Zev, it's time. We want you to act responsible, be a role model, and take a bath more frequent than once a month.<br /><br />66a. And in the words of the philosopher Jagger, 'You can't always get what you want.' - Zev<br /><br />66b. Also in the words of Jagger, 'Sometimes, you get what you need.' -Saya<br /><br />66c. Touche. -Zev<br /><br />67. Zev, you are no longer allowed to sing the song 'Obama Mia' in the streets every time someone brings him up. It's unsightly.<br /><br />67a. YES. WE. CAN. - Zev<br /><br />67b. NO. YOU. CAN'T. - Saya<br /><br />67c. Okay okay, just stop throwing things at my house!! - Zev<br /><br />68. We don't know where the blob with the guns came from, so just ignore his requests to become a member. Besides, we don't have a 'Sergeant' rank.<br /><br />68a. *Ominous hummmmm...*<br /><br />68b. Meet our new Sergeant.<br /><br />69. No one gets in to see the Wizard. No way no how.<br /><br />69a. FOR PETE'S SAKES, ZEV, stop making unauthorized additions to the rules!!<br /><br />70. When Tahu and Kopaka are in the same room, it is NOT appropriate to start singing Fire And Ice by Pat Benatar.<br /><br />70a. It's on like ####in' Donkey Kong, Raregroove. - Tahu & Kopaka, as well as their respective fanclubs.<br /><br />71. Contrary to popular belief, the contest to decide Administrators does NOT consist of a Maple Syrup Chug, a Yo Momma Face Off, and/or a Building Toss while Nekkid (Though, BZPower might be a better place if it was).<br /><br />72. After one episode consisting of an old man's head spinning around on his shoulders, secret agent bunnies killing eachother in extremely gruesome fashion, and jellyfish floating in a giant green spiral, Zev's new show, BZPower's Most Disturbing Home Videos, has been cancelled.<br /><br />73. After numerous scandals, Zev clones are now considered illegal pets.<br /><br />73a. And no, we will NOT allow Banned Members to be taken off the list of illegal pets.<br /><br />74. Zev is NEVER to be given so much as a HINT to the password of The Binkmeister's Armory. There is some scaaary #### in there.<br /><br />74a. THE PASSWORD IS SALAMI!! - Anonymous<br /><br />74b. You blasted FOOL!! We're doomed! DOOMED! DOOOOMED!! <br /><br />74c. "I went to The Bink's armory, and all I got was this stinkin' T-shirt." Waaah! - Zev<br /><br />75. Zev is not allowed to be near any weapons when he hears music by Billy Joel, AC/DC, The Eagles, or KISS. Their music sends him into a joyous war-frenzy, and, obviously, we cannot allow this.<br /><br />75a. And he shouldn't even be allowed to listen to Rick James PERIOD. He starts punching and kicking to the beat, and we REALLY don't need that.<br /><br />76. If you can't say something nice about someone, you must be talking about Zev. - Zanda<br /><br />76a. Low blow, man! - Zev<br /><br />76b. STOP USING THE RULES FOR CONVERSATION!!<br /><br />77. People, stop attacking Kenshin like you think you can win. He didn't ask to be sent here, so just let him be.<br /><br />77a. This one is glad for your cooperation. This one has been getting hit by Kaoru because she does not like this one getting in so many fights, and Sanosuke has also been hitting this one for 'hogging all the fights'.<br /><br />77b. We know you've been through a lot, Kenshin, but you can't post rules, because you're not a member of BZPower. (But you can still sign autographs! Especially for me! - Saya)<br /><br />78. You must vote for Kisuke Urahara as President in 2012!! - The Monster with a Bucket Hat<br /><br />78a. YOU CAN'T ADD TO THE RULES EITHER, URAHARA!!<br /><br />79. Zev, stop bothering Overlord Zetta with the book puns. He may be dull as a hammer, but he's still freakin' powerful, and he's been saying he'll invade BZPower. Though, he's so stupid, he might go to the wrong dimension and destroy it like he did his own that one time, and that would make for SO much unneeded paperwork.<br /><br />80. We don't know where the rumors started that Binkmeister is actually created when Saya and Zanda fuse, but they are most inconvenient. Still, we can make an educated guess as to who started them. None other than the root of the rest of BZPower's rumors...<br /><br />80a: Okay, ya caught me. You can take down the road blocks! - Zev<br /><br />80b: Don't get a big head. You're less than a troublemaker; more like a...Rapscallion, I guess YOU would say. - Ninjo<br /><br />80c: ...I thought you left BZPower... - Zev<br /><br />80d: ...You know too much. - Ninjo<br /><br />81: People, Zev has gone on yet another burglary spree. However, this time, he's stolen a crimson Gibson Flying V electric guitar, navy Rickenbacker bass guitar model 4001, a prototype drumset of unknown capacity, and, several amps. Be ready for anything.<br /><br />81a: <br /><br />COME DOWN WITH FIRE!!<br />LIFT MY SPIRIT HIGHER!!<br />SOMEONE'S SCREAMIN' MY NAME...<br />COME AND MAKE ME HOLY AGAIN!!<br />I'M THE MAN ON THE SILVER MOUNTAIN!!<br /><br />- Zev<br /><br />81b: ...Zev, we take back everything we said about you behind your back. You truly do rock.<br /><br />82. Blackout and Mayuri Kurotsuchi are hereby never allowed to be in the same lab as eachother.<br /><br />82a. One reality wiped clean was ENOUGH.<br /><br />82b. And I don't want to know how you two psychopaths managed to get a Goa'uld System Lord here!!<br /><br />82c. No Zev, combat was not involved -- The lunatics were just playing with designer plaques.<br /><br />83. Zev, we don't care if he's James Bond, you can't just bring your business partners here!!<br /><br />83a. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HIRED HIS TECH SPECIALIST!?<br /><br />84. Blackout is hereby prohibited from providing to human military groups under the premise of testing his inventions.<br /><br />84a. This goes double for one Sousuke Sagara.<br /><br />85. EVERYONE is forbidden from even LOOKING at Area 51, Nevada, USA.<br /><br />85a. This rule is directed specifically at Blackout.<br /><br />85b. And you can't send Malygos in your place with his magical disguise-shapeshifting techniques.<br /><br />85c. ...The little alien corpse we found upon doing a random search of your lab tells me we should have punished you as soon as we had this rule made official; that's known as 'The Zev Misbehaviour Standard', for those wondering.<br /><br />86. Zombies do not exist.<br /><br />86a. Don't argue, Zev.<br /><br />87. All BZPers are forbidden from fighting under the effects if supposed 'combat ability-enhancing' mushrooms; the only ability they enhance is your ability to get a weapon stabbed into your chest.<br /><br />88. Contrary to popular belief, the Angeloid Alpha, Given Name Ikaros, is NOT Zev's daughter.<br /><br />88a. OR Saya's daughter.<br /><br />88b. One, I'm SURE neither of them are old enough OR mature enough to be parents, two, it is TERRIFYING to imagine the POSSIBILITY of Zev reproducing in any way (Including fission like a sea sponge), and three, IF YOU'RE THIS OBSESSED ABOUT PARENTAGE, GO WATCH A SOAP OPERA, OR I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU PERSONALLY FOR WASTING MY TIME AND FOR PESTERING SAYA!! -Hahli Husky<br /><br />88c. YOU SING IT, GIRL!! -Zev<br /><br />88d. SHUT UP ZEV!! I'm not in the mood for your stupidity -- NOW people are pestering me to convince the Top Brass to authorize a BZPower Soap Opera Channel. -Hahli Husky<br /><br />89. Neither Monkey D. Dragon OR Sosuke Aizen are secretly Zev's father!! READ RULE 88 AND ALL OF ITS EXTENSIONS!! -Hahli Husky<br /><br />90. Will someone PLEASE kick out the semi-intelligent slime claiming to be 'Sergeant'?<br /><br />90a. How hard can it be to track down an amorphous green slime with eyes that waves around an odd gunlike device giving off an ominous hummmmm? Just kick him out!!<br /><br />90b. Change of plans. Politely, kindly ask the Sergeant to leave, then escort him somewhere far, far away. Like the Headquarters of the Injustice League, for example.<br /><br />90c. And while we're at it, get rid of Sechs and Den. <br /><br />90d. [EMERGENCY ADDITION] DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, WHO LET THOSE PSYCHOPATHS NEAR ZEV AND ZANDA!? EVACUATE!! EVACUATE NOW, G#######T!!<br /><br />91. Arrancar are to be eliminated on sight. NOT invited over for tea and crumpets.<br /><br />91a. They're soul-sucking monsters! We're supposed to kill them!<br /><br />91b. I DO NOT CARE IF NNOITRA JIRUGA BAKES AN AWESOME CAKE DESPITE BEING A TOTAL BLOOD KNIGHT!!<br /><br />92. Zev is to stop trying to get Solid Snake and Big Boss to join BZPower as two-thirds of his crime fighting trio.<br /><br />93. Zev is NEVER to meet Vegeta.<br /><br />94. Leadership of BZPower's Squad: Zero, if it exists, is to be handed over to Optimus Prime.<br /><br />94a. If we can't stop this nonsense, we at least want a sane leader in charge --- Their ranks include Zev, Saya, Zanda, and Blackout.<br /><br />94b. Don't argue, Blackout. You know Prime's the best bot for the job.<br /><br />95. Zev is to avoid fighting Thanos.<br /><br />95a. Seriously, what is the Mad God of Titan doing here?<br /><br />96. All BZPers powerful enough for A-Rank Missons and higher are to help clean up that mess the Black Lantern Rings are making.<br /><br />96a. And by that, I also mean to NOT kill people and put rings on them because it'd be fun to fight them as zombies.<br /><br />97. Anyone having anything to do with Getter Rays will be incinerated on the spot. No exceptions.<br /><br />97a. Also, no touching any green stones with G's on them.<br /><br />97b. No getting anywhere near Spiral power, either.<br /><br />98. Anyone attempting to contact an entity known as Koji dies. No exceptions to this rule. Ever.<br /><br />99. While the BZPower Staff usually abstains from interfering with personal relationships, it has been requested that the Zev/Riot Force 6 Harem disband. Nothing personal, but the thought of the damage bills your children would cause isn't letting us get any sleep.<br /><br />100. Lelouch vi Brittania, your request to join BZPower as a member of the Staff has been denied.<br /><br />100a. You can't pull any of that freaky bird-eye #### with me, pretty boy -- I have sunglasses.<br /><br />100b. BANKAI!? How did a living soul get Bankai!? AND WHAT THE ####'S A SPINZAKU KICK!!?<br /><br />100c. Lelouch vi Brittania's request to be an honorary member of the Staff will be granted as soon as Binkmeister's head can be snapped back into position and Dimensioneer can be extruded from the ceiling.<br /><br />101. Zev and Saya are hereby not allowed to meet with eachother or Kanda unless under the supervision of a reasonable and powerful BZPer.<br /><br />101a. No, you two may not escort eachother to Kanda.<br /><br />101b. STOP BRINGING IN CATGIRLS AND HAVING THEM OFFER THEMSELVES TO KANDA, YOU SICK, PERVERTED MONSTERS.<br /><br />101c. Zev Raregroove and Sayaka O'Connell are hereby imprisoned indefinitely for an unknowable number of crimes against nature, seven-hundred counts of animal abuse, distracting the, and I quote, "Puma Sisters from Dominion Tank Police" from their duties and generally being cruel to poor Kanda. <br /><br />101d. WHADDYA MEAN IT WAS HIS IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE!!?<br /><br />102. The phrase "the beatings will continue until morale improves" was just a joke, and even if it wasn't, Zev definitely wouldn't be the one to administer them.<br /><br />102a. Alright alright, it would be Saya, okay? She needs some stress relief once in a while, and knocking around you chuckleheads a bit would be the perfect way to handle that.<br /><br />103. No one is allowed to insult Elton John around Zev. Raregroove practically worships the man.<br /><br />104. Zev is not allowed to try to eat Hollows in order to awaken his Inner Hollow and therefore gain a voice in his head that isn't completely useless. <br /><br />104a. That's not even how it works, anyway.<br /><br />105. Zev Raregroove and Tia Harribel are banned from Eight Flags Amusement Park.<br /><br />105a. There were CHILDREN on that ride, you morons.<br /><br />105b. Educating them about the birds and the bees a few years early is not an acceptable excuse.<br /><br />106. We are not building a catapult, onager, trebuchet, or any other form of medieval siege weapon so that we may simply launch Zev directly at our enemies. This is absolutely, utterly non-negotiable.<br /><br />106a. The fact it was his own idea in the first place does not strengthen the Zev-A-Pult's case.<br /><br />106b. Zev Raregroove is hereby exempt from this Rule. If you can't puzzle it out for yourself, go ask Blackout to explain; if you do this, be sure to bring a friend with a camcorder ready.<br /><br />107. Zev is NOT to be taught actual martial arts or swordsmanship techniques. He's quite dangerous enough at the moment.<br /><br />107a. What do you mean you already taught him Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu!?<br /><br />107b. SWEET JESUS WHERE DID ALL THIS BLOOD COME FROM!!? IT IS UP TO MY ###.<br /><br />108. Anyone caught worshipping Slaanesh will be punished in a non-fun way.<br /><br />108a. For the followers of the Great Slaanesh, there is no such thing as a non-fun way. - Saya<br /><br />108b. Really? How about doing all of the paperwork brought about by Zev's "Carnage Carnival"? - Omicron<br /><br />108c. OH COME ON, OMI!! YOU HAVEN'T HELPED ONE BIT!! - Tufi Pi...Anonymous<br /><br />109. Raka/Metallizer's disappearance was caused by I, the Sexta Espada. He's been shov -- I mean, spirited away to Las Noches to teach us about necromancy. - Grimmjow Jaggerjack<br /><br />109a. LIKE #### THAT WAS ME!! - Grimmjow<br /><br />109b. HOW DID AN ESPADA GET INTO BZPOWER TO WRITE ON THE RULES LIST!!? - Black Six<br /><br />109c. I'm a master of disguise, #####!! Now excuse me while I twirl my bad### mustache!! - Grimmjow<br /><br />110. Alright, who's been piggybacking on Earth's sattelite signals to get free T.V.?<br /><br />110a. It was Spartacus.<br /><br />110b. Who's Spartacus?<br /><br />110c. I'm Spartacus.<br /><br />110d. No, I am Spartacus.<br /><br />110e. It has been determined that there is no basis to the accusations that shows such as All Purpose Cultural Catgirl Nuku Nuku, Tokyo Mew Mew, and Dominion Tank Police are being pirated to BZPower. - Kanda, Zanda & Zev<br /><br />110f. All Spartacuses will report to the BZPower Special Forces HQ for interrogation. Failure to comply will result in immediate termination. - Souske Sagara<br /><br />111. Blackout, as soon as Head of R&D Kex figures out a way to shut down that new toy of yours, we are going to have a very, VERY in-depth conversation as to how you came across the Cruciform.<br /><br />112. Tufi Piyufi is not to be referred to as 'Onee-sama'.<br /><br />112a. Zev can call me that -- He hasn't done anything to make me mad yet, and the title makes me feel important and loved. - Tufi Piyufi<br /><br />113. BZPower does not need a Space Armada, Blackout.<br /><br />113a. Not even if every member of the Staff gets their own fleet.<br /><br />113b. And is it REALLY a good idea to let people like Zev and Saya have access to something called a 'Planet Smasher'?<br /><br />113c. ...What do you MEAN you already talked Esther McQueen into commanding it?<br /><br />113d. AND Honor Harrington!?<br /><br />114. Added to the list of movies banned from all but the most secure BZPower theaters: "Saving Private Ryan".<br /><br />114a. And Full Metal Jacket. We don't particulary want or need Zev acting like Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.<br /><br />115. Kamina has stolen Zev's sword again. May God have mercy on our souls.<br /><br />115a. No. - Hapori Tohu<br /><br />115b. You're powerful, but you're not God. - Ninjo<br /><br />115c. ...Yet. - Tohu<br /><br />115d. I'm back in the saddle!! - Zev<br /><br />115e. And of course, you had to destroy 14% of the Residential District insodoing. Come ON -- Seriously, Raregroove. - Dimensioneer<br /><br />116. There have been new additions to the list of unacceptable battlecries:<br /><br />- The one with the highest kill count gets the chance to beat Raregroove in a Pokemon Battle!<br /><br />- POKEMANS!!<br /><br />- Dattebayo!/Believe it!<br /><br />- Cry! Scream! And then, DIE!!<br /><br />- This is my story and you're not a part of it.<br /><br />- Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.<br /><br />116a. This now includes 'Wreck and Rule', unless you so happen to be one of the Wreckers.<br /><br />117. The person who let Gilgamesh in here will pay. Dearly.<br /><br />118. Whoever introduced Omicron to Tetris, thank you EVER so much. Now he won't do ANY of his paperwork, he won't go to meetings, and Zev and Zanda have started a civil war to decide who gets to take his place until he's off the addiction.<br /><br />118a. And no, Sayaka O'Connell is NOT playing both sides to install herself permanently and make Inferna Firesword her right hand girl.<br /><br />118b. Too bad it's going to be ME, as her personal advisor. - Kanda<br /><br />118c. You do know that, if it WAS you, Zanda and Zev would work together to terrorize you into an early grave, right? - Inferna<br /><br />118d. ...Why do you and Saya always have to be right? - Kanda<br /><br />118e. It's because we're girls, silly. - Inferna<br /><br />119. Mister 'Douglas Adams' is not allowed ANY contact whatsoever with Vice-President of R&D Blackout on pain of being attacked by their co-creations.<br /><br />119a. The Pillars are to be removed from the Research & Development Institute AT ONCE. Blackout, R&D President Kex would like a word with you.<br /><br />120. ...Head of Security Black Six is not to be disturbed while he is knitting. EVER.<br /><br />120a. This also goes for Gwendal.<br /><br />120b. If you make fun of them, Tufi Piyufi will not replace any organs/limbs that may be removed or damaged.<br /><br />120c. However, she will replace the knitting needles. Six gets cross without them, and he's the only one who knows how to make the special Zev-Class Shackles work correctly. <br /><br />121. Zev does not hold the power of Sosuke Aizen.<br /><br />121a. Nor is he Zero.<br /><br />121b. Or a prince of the Holy Empire of Britannia.<br /><br />121c. That means: No Blackout, he cannot get you a few Knightmare Frames to 'work on'.<br /><br />121d. Lloyd Asplund is not allowed to join the Research & Development Institute as Blackout's assitant.<br /><br />121e. The same goes for Lakshata Chawla.<br /><br />122. BZPower does not, as some have assumed, have a policy of making kings out of individuals who look like the King.<br /><br />122a. That means put away the rhinestones and hairgel, Zev.<br /><br />123. The Staff WILL consider Halloween Parties, but under certain rules:<br /><br />- Zev may NOT wear Hollow masks, say they're fake, and then try to attack Zanda.<br /><br />- This restriction also applies to Zanda in attacking Zev.<br /><br />- Blackout may NOT use Daleks as SciFi decorations, only to have them kidnap powerful BZPers for experiments.<br /><br />- Saya is NOT allowed to dress up as Yoko from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, ESPECIALLY not with a real rifle.<br /><br />124. Elvis is still the King. Thank you -- Thank you very much.<br /><br />124a. That wasn't Elvis' ghost, because he faked his death.<br /><br />124b. No Zev, Elvis isn't an immortal manifestation of the power of rock -- He just was, is, and always will be THE King.<br /><br />125. Will someone please make that kid in black and his escorts leave? There's enough contention about the King of BZPower without the lilac-haired guy fussing about "Your Majesty!" every three seconds.<br /><br />125a. Gwendal can stay, though. He keeps Black Six happy and NOT killing everyone because they 'just don't appreciate' his new wedding ring shawl -- The one he worked on for three and a half months.

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