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  1. Zatth

    or; An Introduction

    “Life is not what one lived, but what one remembers in order to tell the tale.” - Gabriel Garcia Marquez They said, tell it to us. It’s only dredges of a tale, clinging bits of a mythical past that dare not wash away. They won’t let it wash away, much as the once Endless Ocean was challenged by rebel islands that sprung up, and survived, against all odds. I think they have a feeling that that’s the only reason why we’re here. By ‘they’ I mean all of those who live in this thriving metropolis, and those who live in all the other great cities. The ones that jut into the sky with Coliseums and Towers of Knowledge as if wanting to reach upwards in order to cut a star from the cloth that is the night sky; the ones that call prototype masks and ritualistic tunics the carpets they walk on; those by the beaches and those under the waters and those clinging above the sky, all of them replicating the different cities of yore, lodged into our genetic memory, but forgotten to all. We thought it was better that way, the six of us. How do you encompass millennia of history? How do you tell those collected chronicles, of heroic Toa and devious Makuta, of deaths of Great Spirits and magical fusions of planets? Names like Kodan, Takua, Hahli, Kopeke, Tarduk… And how do you tell someone descended from a Makuta that they were once the cause of a near-extinction level event? How do you force a now-sentient Rahi to regress into history and into savagery, so much like the Zesk and the Vorox during their own time? We chose, for all of them, to keep away the dangerous and the old, in order to keep this tenuous peace. And now they say, tell it to us. Look at them. Caught unawares by their own youth and inexperience, as thirsty for knowledge as all of us once were, far removed enough that they see but fascination and awe in what we call ‘our history’. But I, I am… so old. The joints in my fingers hurt. Breathing is labored, in that I feel when they slow down because I become afraid that I have forgotten to take a breath. I’m nearing the end, that much is clear. With me, as accorded thousands of years ago, it all must go. But you will appreciate that, in typical me fashion, I have followed this to an extent. It’s equivocation, in that I am not technically going against what we agreed on. The tomes sit behind me. It’s all there, you know? The maps of every major island and of what were once the three planets, with the sites of every village and every battle. The entire travel log of the Robot, with all of its tales of the places we never saw (I suppose the Robot also died, and so those coordinates will remain just that). The parchment written after my investigations into Mata Nui and Voya Nui, the crystals and panels from visiting Metru Nui and the Southernmost Islands. Every weapon that’s saved my life, labeled with the thing that threatened me and that I barely escaped alive. And the Kanohi. They’re all here, almost all of them. It took us, what, seven thousand years to collect the Mask of each major player? Seven thousand years and the death of one of our own… and now I’m dying, and this will be here, but with no one. Ha. It almost feels like a meaningless sacrifice, at the end of it all. Is that what the six of us ended up being? Meaningless? Or sacrifices? They will never know, will they. No, of course not. It’s shocking to me I still find myself rediscovering this. No. No. No, no. No, they don’t get this. Not now, not never. I- no! I said th- Look, I- Y- A Rahi should have eaten you years ago, you know that? Fine. But I will keep the details to a minimum. And, I’ll have me an oath of secrecy! Yes. Yes, alright, I’ll let them in. Let me just get my affairs in order first. Review Topic
  2. I need to find ways to keep writing daily And hey, at least I'm feeling this one, since it's basically my excuse to go back through everything BIONICLE and refresh my memory. So, without further ado, an Epic! ...thingy, sorts of!
  3. This is where you can discuss Bionicle: Shadows Of Artakha, or offer advice and feedback. Positive or negative, I will happily take it all. Please feel free to follow this topic, if you fancy! Here's a link to the actual thread! http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/26400-bionicle-shadows-of-artakha/
  4. This story is set in a rebooted Bionicle Universe, but draws on inspiration from both Bionicle Generations. New chapters will ideally be added on the 1st day of each month, starting on the 1st August 2018, but due to university I'm going to be more on and off. I'd like to thank my sister Jennifer for her suggestions regarding the editing of the story, many of which were taken on board. Please enjoy! Here's a link to a map of the Island of Artakha (where the story will be set): http://www.bzpower.com/board/uploads/gallery/category_3/gallery_117950_3_67602.png
  5. CommanderKumo

    Hunters

    Chapter 1 The toa of ice stood watching the rain collide with the window, the island is a nice place he thought, overshadowed by the nearby Metru Nui, at times he believed this lack of attention to be a relief, as he was the only person who knew of a grave secret which could threaten the entire population, suddenly a concerned matoran stumbles into the room. The kanohi arthron, mask of sonar already alerted the toa to what this matoran was about to say, Rahi have breached the city gates, the mask's power rung true as the matoran revealed this exact information, grabbing his katana, he tells the matoran "Gather everyone in the keep below", with that he he left the chamber, ready to face the invaders. The island had been designed like a fortress, a huge stone wall surrounded it, each home located along fortified paths, as the toa looked over an edge he assessed the situation; tarakava beasts had breached, Who is controlling these creatures? He thought, before he could think any more the toa of air landed next to him. "What's the situation Samler?" Mahel Toa of air asked. Samler notioned towards the Tarakava, "Saving the matoran is our first priority" he then jumped over the railings down into battle below, Mahel followed behind. Samler landed one one Tarakava, freezing it in it's place using his ice powers, meanwhile Mahel blasted a gust of air, blowing another out to sea, the two toa stood back to back as 3 tarakava all charged at one. "You know it" Samler cheered, Mahel lightly laughed, the tarakava all sped forward, Samler created a ring of ice particles around him and Mahel, then Mahel used his air abilities to throw every single hailstone at the tarakava, the onslaught pummled the beasts, incapacitating them, Samler noticed that a mask had fallen from one of them. He grabbed the mask from the stony floor, the rain bouncing from it, even in the obscured light he could see it was rusted, a sure sign of infection by kraata. "The brotherhood are behind this" he told Mahel, showing him the infected mask. Mahel was concerned "what would they want from here?" Samler knew that the time had come to reveal his great secret, before he could say anything they were both alerted by screams from matoran in danger, without saying a word Mahel knew his orders, they both hurried away into the night. Elsewhere on the island three lie defeated, the being who defeated them laughing at their loss, they barely scrape away as the terrifying Kuma-Nui rats start burrowing, the being watching their progress, "My time has come" they laugh... Review topic: http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25026-hunters-review-topic/
  6. So this is where you guys can ask questions about my epic: Ahkmou's Return. Go nuts. here's the link to the story http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/23501-ahkmous-return/?do=findComment&comment=1095975
  7. Dallior

    The Sands of Fate

    THE SANDS OF FATE (cool banner to come!) Prologue: Gathered friends, listen, once more, to a legend of the ancient epic we call BIONICLE... One day, during the celebration of victory against Makuta, while the heroes, villagers, and Rahi feasted to the honor of Mata Nui and his last great sacrifice, the old enemies of the Toa and all that they stood for slithered off into the cold beauty of the world of Spherus Magna. Many of these beasts had been destroyed already, but some still remained to strike fear into the hearts of all who dwelt on the surface of the planet. One of these horrible convicts was Takadox, one of the last Barraki, and one of few who stood testimony to the fact that Toa always won. He slinked through the still remaining deserts of Spherus Magna, not used to the heat and lack of prey that abounded in this wastleland. Rahi that had once been denizens of the Matoran Universe now escaped to mingle with the Scarabax, confused by these others who now claimed their homes. Takadox spotted a herd of Mukau stampeding through the sands, obviously spooked by something. The fearsome warlord, once a leader of an unspeakable army, remembered when he was the one who attacked these peaceful creatures. He then registered that something... or someone... must have been the source of this discomfort. His face contorted into a smirk when he realized that this fearmonger would have a new master. His agile, mantis-like posture, allowed him to traipse through the dunes with relative ease, though he still was accustomed to the water. Eventually, he reached his target, nothing more than a filthy Vorox. The Barraki groaned, but realized he needed the practice. He made quick work of the beast, almost not even paying attention. He had killed countless Matoran in his day, how was this any different? He wondered if there were more of these predators, who would strike fear into the hearts of anyone who saw them. He smirked again, and croaked, "Let's go find the queen." What do you guys think? Post comments, questions, concerns, and cookies in the review forum!
  8. Hello, my loyal readers! This is the review page for my new Epic, Legends of Sanguivox. If you have any concerns or statements to make about the story, post 'em here. Stay tuned for some trivia as to the names of the characters!
  9. Feedback, comments and anything may only go here. Be sure to comment about anything from the story. Thank you.
  10. The Legends of Atara Nui In the time before time, The Great Spirit Mata Nui descended from the heavens, bringing with him us, the ones called Matoran, to this paradise. The island of Atara Nui was our home among the waves, and in honor of the Great Spirit, we took his concepts of Unity, Duty and Destiny, and created the principles by which we lead our lives. The Su-Matoran, the artists of Atara Nui, conceived of the principle of Creativity In the midst of their production, the Fe-Matoran invented Malleability The Vo-Matoran, always hard at work on the high seas, applied the principle of Practicality The Ba-Matoran, to reflect their ways of thinking and contemplation, thought up the principle of Spirituality While they worked with their herbs and labored over their lumber, the Bo-Matoran created Brotherhood The De-Matoran, as they practiced their nomadic hunting lifestyle, took the principle of Honor to heart. But all is not well, for Atara Nui has many secrets hidden away from the Matoran, and strange forces are at work. Change is coming, but so is hope, legend tells that six Toa will band together to defeat these strange forces, and with Mata Nui’s help, restore paradise on Atara Nui. Welcome to Atara Nui, let’s hope you know how to keep secrets. Chapter 1: On the High seas As the ever so harsh waves of Paro Bay continued to wash against its rocky shores, with the booms of thunder sounding off in the distance, gradually growing stronger with each crack of the sky, the Vo-Matoran Virna was getting very, very frustrated. “Are you absolutely sure about this?” she asked, looking away from the oncoming stormclouds to regard her first mate. Her first mate nodded incessantly. “Yes, the storm is going to hit Vo-Koro. But they’re in the middle of their annual Bazaar, so they’ll probably be too busy to notice” Vo-Koro was the name given to the landlocked settlement of Vo-Matoran in Paro Bay. Virna herself had been there only a few times in her life, given that she and many of her kin were of the kind that spent almost their entire lives on the high seas around Atara Nui. “Is there anyone else around?” Virna asked. Deep down she knew the answer was no, but she’d gone out to gather food for one of the many water-bound fishing piers she lived on, and she had a reputation for always getting the job done to keep up. The dilemma was settled before it really got off the ground. “Heh” Virna mumbled as she took note of her using an expression like “off the ground”. She herself had hardly ever had the privilege of walking on solid ground, in a sense she was “off the ground” as well. Her first mate shook her head. Virna sighed and turned to take a look at the incoming stormclouds. She could almost swear she heard the thunder taunting her, as a foreboding omen of trials to come. “Wake up the crew” Virna ordered “we’re going to have to work fast if we’re going to reach Vo-Koro in time. The first mate nodded and went under deck. Soon, the sound of complaints competing with haphazard grunts of acknowledgement could be heard. One by one, the ladies of The Weeping Ruki came crawling up on deck, the last crew member hurriedly straightening her Kanohi as she exited the lower deck. “Alright, girls” Virna called to her gathered crew “there’s been a change of plans” Her gaze flicked across the crew, noting their confused faces and worried gazes at the distant stormclouds. “That storm is going to hit Vo-Koro, and it’s our job to get there and warn them in time” Virna said, projecting the statement with her usual flair of stern determination and fervor. Her crew gave a collective nod and a “Aye, Captain” in response. “Good, then get to work. Xarya; raise the anchor, Tyrell, Maya; get the sails ready, Rilvi…” she paused, the silence between the two broken by the sky cracking open yet again to release a rattling boom to pound their eardrums. Virna closed her eyes in defeat, and gave the order “Rilvi; throw the fish overboard” The look of confusion plastered across Rilvi’s Rode was almost comical, had this been a different situation, Virna might even have laughed. Not today, though. “All of it?” she asked, the question buzzing in Virna’s ears like a fly. Of course she meant all of it, the less the ship weighed, the faster it would go, and the fish was the only cargo they could afford to drop on such short notice. She didn’t use that tone when she spoke out loud. Instead, all that came from her mouth was a stern confirmation: “All of it” As the sun slowly receded below the skyline, the medium-sized fishing boat caught onto the eastward drift that was pushing the stormclouds, scuttling off in the direction of Paro Bay and Vo-Koro. Virna was at the helm, keeping the boat on a steady course as the wind pushed it forward. Occasionally she looked up, seeing the sky above her gradually grow murkier and foggier as the storm caught up to them. The first streams of gray vapor crept over the skyline like cold fingers reaching out after them. “This is going to be close” she called “Xarya; be prepared to make a run for it once we hit solid ground” “Will do” the Kakama-wearing sailor replied, running up to the bow of The Weeping Ruki to be ready for when they got within reach of Vo-Koro’s docks. “Land ho” Maya called from the lookout. She could see the myriad of lightstones that were clumped together under the full moon on the horizon. Virna could feel the wind starting to pick up, and the thunders, ever increasing in volume, where slowly interspersed with erratic flashes of light as lightning bolts joined the fray. A Lightning bolt tore apart the sky above them with a loud crack, as if the sky itself was breaking apart. “Everyone prepare for landing” Virna called, twisting the ship a little to the portside in order to align with the brig. It hadn’t taken two seconds before Xarya had jumped off and darted off in direction of the still ongoing festivities in Vo-Koro. The others remained and fastened the boat before Virna ordered them off, too. “Go, I’ll finish securing the ship” she shouted, trying to drown out the growing howl of the wind. Her crew looked like they were about to protest, but all Virna needed was a stern glare in their direction, and all such qualms seemed forgotten. They took off, leaving Virna on her own against the storm. “Sails first” she thought, clambering up the rope ladder, almost flapping in the strong wind, to loosen the large pieces of cloth. The ship was starting to rock, as larger and larger waves washed against the shore, forcing her to cling to the rope ladder like a Brakas Monkey to stolen goods, still she pressed on. A quick glance in the general vicinity of Vo-Koro showed Virna that the number of lightstones had dropped substantially; it seemed her crew had gotten the warning to them in time. She herself had just barely managed to finish with the sails, and she figured it would have to do; it was time to get to safety. The sky cracked open again, and a spear of white light was flung from the black void above and right at the foot of The Weeping Ruki’s main mast. Virna herself was knocked to the floor in cover of the shower of splinters that sprung forth from the point of impact. That was the least of her problems. The largest wave yet came closing in, rocking the ship back and forth like something being played with by the aforementioned Brakas Monkey’s ungrateful little spawns, and that was the last straw for the already ailing mast. The loud creak hit Virna’s ears with a dry prominence, as a contrast to all the wind and humidity around her, she looked up… And was abruptly pinned down by an enormous weight being thrown upon her person, she cried out in exasperated pain as the mast did unspeakable things to her back. Try as she might, she could not get loose, for all intents and purposes she was stuck there. It was a cruel irony (or was it, she wasn’t even sure what irony meant, she’d had no use for learning that). Her first priority had been getting everyone else to safety, and now she was the one in danger. The rain set in, tiny needles of cold and humidity showering upon her head, arms and feet. At least her injured back would remain dry, the thought made her snort. But then, to Virna’s shocking surprise, she felt a warm, fuzzy feeling spread through her body, it started in her stomach, and slowly spread from there, all the way from toes to fingertips. And as the feeling grew, she noticed that her sight had gotten a black tint around the edges, one that was growing as her eyelids begun to feel heavier and heavier. Her environment grew blurry, drifting in and out of focus as if she was underwater. She felt herself growing heavier, sinking to the seafloor, slowly, the blackness engulfing her mind. “Virna” a voice called to her from the deep, a melodic, soothing voice, its every word like poetry in her ears. “Come to me, come to me. You’ve earned your rest. It it’s time” “Yes, I’m coming” Virna replied, her voice sounding hollowed out and discarded. She heard a muffled voice call her name, and a light appeared above her, someone was calling for her, someone… a friend. “Please, Virna, wake up” the voice begged. It was unmistakably Rilvi’s voice calling to her. Always so sensitive, that one “You’ve done your part” the soothing voice from further down in the black depths called “you deserve to rest” “Virna, please” Rilvi’s voice continued to plead “we need you” Virna turned to look down in the black depths. “I am needed” she said simply, before she began swimming up towards the light. “Come now, Virna” the melodic voice persisted, putting more force behind its words. Such that Virna was overtaken with a near overwhelming need to join the beautiful voice in the depths below, but another plead from Rilvi turned her attention back to the light above again. “You have given enough, it’s time to join us” the voice said, that was when an alarm went off in Virna’s head. “No” she said “I still have plenty left to give. I have to go back, to do otherwise would be irresponsible” Virna turned again, and swam the last few strokes toward the light. As her entire field of vision turned white, she heard the melodic voice calling to her one last time, saying. “You’ll come eventually” And then everything went black. When Virna woke up, she saw her crew leaning over her, with a fifth face also present; Vo-Koro’s healer. “You took quite a nasty blow out there” she remarked. Virna sighed in response. “I was just trying to make sure the ship wouldn’t go up in splinters, I realize now that it was irresponsible of me” “Nobody’s perfect” Xarya interjected “but you were lucky we were there to get you out from under the mast.” “I guess so” Virna replied with a mild smile “Thank you” Review Topic
  11. Here is the review topic. Hope you enjoy it. Tale of a Traitor Chapter #1 Have you ever been trapped in a battle with The Shadowed One in the dark raining night? Well that's what I'm doing right now. I am Clue. I am a Dark Hunter from the glorious city of Metru Nui. You might be wondering how I got into such mess. It all started on the island of Xia. Three weeks after I joined the Dark Hunters. I was doing some target practice. To be honest I'm not that good at shooting far range. "Clue! You call that a shot?". I noticed it was Triglax . He looked at me straight in the eyes. "Clue, imagine that there's an army of Toa approaching from kios away. Would you attack them from close range and die? Or you would take a Zamor Launcher and shoot them far away where it's safe?" asked Triglax. I didn't know what to say. A smile appeared on my face after I saw Lariska approaching. I hoped that she would bring good news. "Clue, The Shadowed One needs you right now." said Lariska. "Your'e excused for now kid." said Triglax. I was relieved that I was excused from training but I didn't know why I was called by The Shadowed One. My eyes narrowed down to my feet as I felt worried. I asked Lariska,"What does The Shadowed One want?". She looked at me and said,"Just wait.". I just continued walking. As we arrived at The Shadowed One's palace, Lariska waited outside. "Welcome Clue. I see it's been over 3 weeks since you joined the Dark Hunters." said The Shadowed One. I smiled after I heard what he said. "And now I will introduce you to your new partner." I was thinking it would be Lariska. She was the entire reason why I became a Dark Hunter. All of a sudden, the doors busted open. It was a strong and tall Skakdi. His armor looked damaged as if he was running through a field of flames. He bore a long and sharp blade which was attached to two chains. He looked like a chaotic man. "This is Terrorist. He is one of the most greatest Dark Hunter from the Northern Continent. And he will be your partner." My eyes narrowed down at Terrorist. "Not only he will be your partner but he will also be your mentor." continued The Shadowed One. My mentor? I was completely frustrated. I thought about complaining it to The Shadowed One. But I wouldn't dare question The Shadowed One. After The Shadowed One told us about our mission, we set off to the island of Nynrah.
  12. Zacian

    The Alternate Metru

    The story takes place in an alternate universe where Toa Lhikan was killed before he could give the six destined matoran the Toa Stones. So Mata Nui's spirit died and Teridax took over his body. Here is the review topic. So I hope you enjoy it! The Alternate Metru : Prolouge A Toa of Ice named Toa Kranan walked down the streets of Ta Metru along with two Nuurakh. It was obvious that he was captured by the two Vahki. He looked around Ta Metru and witnessed all the destruction and mayhem. Matoran running around the streets, wild Rahkshi everywhere, Dark Hunters killing Toa and much much more. No. It shouldn't be this way. Thought Kranan. He was then taken to the Coliseum and they locked him in a dark cell. The Toa of Ice looked down. All of a sudden, he heard a strange familiar voice. "Well look what the Muaka dragged in," the strange voice came from a mutated creature known as Nidhiki. "You..." whispered Kranan. "But how? Your'e a Dark Hunter. I thought Teridax ordered the Dark Hunters to kill any living Toa," continued Kranan. "Teridax offers a good price. I was too greedy. I wanted a raise. He seemed very displeased with me. He ordered the Vahki to arrest me. Now I'v been stuck here for 10 years. And I have a question myself. Why aren't you dead?" replied Nidhiki. "I'm only stuck here for a few days. Then I'm off to be executed. And if it weren't for you none of us would be in this mess," replied Kranan. "Lhikan deserved to be dead," said Nidhiki. "For what!? For protecting Metru Nui? For saving innocent lives?" yelled Kranan. The Dark Hunter looked guilty. "Look. I know a way out of this place. I just need your help," said Nidhiki. "How am I supposed to know you won't betray me like how you betrayed the Toa Mangai?" asked Kranan. "Trust me. I won't betray you," replied Nidhiki. "Alright. I trust you. But if you betray me I will hunt you down," said Kranan. "Alright. So here's the plan..." "Kranan, you remember the plan?" asked Nidhiki. "Yeah," replied the Toa of Ice. Both of them started making a lot of noise. A Nuurakh unlocked the cell to see what was going on. Then Kranan ambushed the Nuurakh from above. Later the Nuurakh fell into unconsciousness. "Come on let's go," said Kranan. Both of them managed to escape the Coliseum. But there were many dangers ahead of them...
  13. It appears that my story library's first (and thus far, only) post is full because whenever I edit something new in, the end of the post disappears, leaving a summary of an SS that is only half-complete.So I was wondering, can I make another post in my library that is basically a continuation of the first post? I want to be able to add more stories to my library, which I really can't do in its current state, so I would like to know if that is against the rules or not. As far as I know it isn't, but I just want to be sure so I don't accidentally get into trouble.-TNTOS-
  14. sonyaxe

    The Chronicles

    Okay this isThe Chronicles(No, not the Chronicles of Narnia)It is a story of me and friends who... you will have to see for yourselves, actually. I’m not giving the story away in the title page.Oh well, here is the review topic link.http://www.bzpower.c...?showtopic=7733_________________________________________________________________________________________________________Chapter One. I was running, surrounded by flames and destruction. Shouted voices washed over me, but none of them made sense. There were explosions, rubble, and flashes of steel. Then, something happened that almost drove me to despair. A building fell in front of me. I yelled with primal rage, and dove, trying to slide under the building that had fallen in front of me. I slowly turned to see what had been chasing me. It was Makuta. He grinned evily, then his mask glowed. I was suddenly confronted by my worst fear... a horde of zombies! I was backed against a wall, so when they shambled toward me, there was no where to run. Grasping hands reached out to rip off hunks of flesh...I sat bolt upright in bed, smacking my head on the low ceiling. I shook my head to clear it, and tried to make sense of that strange, yet amazing, nightmare/dream. It had been inredibly detailed, vivid, and utterly terrifying.It had been a year since I had last looked at anything related to Bionicles at all. It didn't make sense that Makuta had been in my dream. I had'nt even touched a bionicle for years.Later that day, everyone at school was buzzing with excitement. Summer vacation was only a week away. Then my friend, Jason came up to me. He looked haggard, as if he hadn’t slept well. I knew I looked just like that too.“Bad night?” I asked politely. With Jason, the wrong question could get you knocked over. Jason was big, about 200 pounds, and it was all muscle. Strangely enough though, he was something of a computer nerd, but played baseball. Don’t ask me where he found the time for both.“Yeah.” He answered. “I’ve been having strange dreams.” He shuddered. “ I don’t want to talk about them.”“Okay…” I said, bewildered. Jason NEVER walked away from a potential conversation.At lunch though, things really got strange.All of my friends were tired and scared looking. They had obviously been having bad dreams too."Okay, seriously, what is wrong with you guys?" Usually none of them could shut up, but today all was as quiet as the grave."I've been having... dreams. About Bionicles. The dreams are horrible, vivid, and they always end with me against a wall, with Makuta about to kill me. But then, his mask glows and I am confronted with my worst fears." Jake had said this. He had been more of a Bionicle fan than me. My other friends- Jason, Frank, Chris, and Andy- all nodded their heads in agreement."My dreams have been exactly the same," said Frank. "But how could this be? We all have the same dream, the same night, and all of us used to love Bionicles. I think it is a sign." With that, Jake's eyes widened. He said, "meet me at four after school, I just had the craziest idea." He grinned, the first real smile I had seen in days, and went to his next class."Wierd." Andy said.After school, me and my friends all went to Jake's house. He had all of his old Bionicle's out, and they looked like they were glowing. I gasped. He was making a huge oval out of old parts on the wall, big enough for me to walk through. Whenever he added another piece, the parts glowed brighter."What are you doing?" asked Chris incredulously. "And why are the pieces glowing?"I am making a portal. Our dreams can't be a coincidence, and when I came up here there was a glow under the bed. When I looked, it was my old bionicle box.""This will never work," I grumbled, but knelt down and started snapping pieces into place."Look on the bright side, Kai. Everyone is having fun."I looked around. Everyone was making complex figures, then snapping them onto the portal. "This still will never..." I started, but then stopped in amazement. Jason had snapped the final piece into place, and the portal was now a swirling vortex."So. Who's first?" I asked.Okay, please review, yay, first storyhttp://www.bzpower.c...?showtopic=7733
  15. TNTOS

    Epics Critics Club

    So I am now a member of the ECC. I decided to accept this because I do spend an awful lot of time in the Library, so I decided to have a slightly less self-centered reason to visit the Epics forum (the original reason was to check if anyone has commented on any of my epics. Like I said, self-centered). I am going to be taking the next request, so bring it on ! -TNTOS-
  16. I'm hoping we can have a Library discussion topic, for anything concerning the Library Forum on BZP. If anyone has ideas they'd like to talk about, such as before writing, or while writing Short Stories or Epics (and Comedies though I'm not familiar with writing them myself), discuss here.Some start off questions I have:What ideas do you like to portray in your Bionicle Stories? A lot of my stories have to do with letting go of things and moving forward. Or probably redemption for things done in the past. I like to write those stories the best because there is so much room for character development, whether the character will learn their lesson and use it for good, or if they won't.What's your favorite genre to write about?Adventure with character examination throughout and a touch of mystery. :3Why do you post stories and when do you find time to read other entries? People have given better reasons below then I have, so I'll be taking their words to help explain it. Writing is satisfying whenever I'd like to get points and my own reasoning across. I enjoy writing these huge illustrations just to reach an ending that people can relate to in real life. (even if the entire tale is about robots that fight eachother in another giant robot)I try to find time to read other entries by friends on BZP, and even if I don't know the writer. Only differences is I know the authors I enjoy reading, have good stories to tell. For those I don't know, it can be a wild card, so that makes it a little difficult to get through, if it starts off slow or uninteresting.Do you enjoy Epics or Short Stories more and which do you enjoy writing for overall?I've written two Epics, one not finished and many Short Stories. My short stories tend to be very long, but I enjoy writing them over all. If you can write on that has so much emotion in it, over characters you'll probably never see again but wish to, you've done something write. And I enjoy epics, but it's hard for me to create a complete plot to cover it all and hold a reader's attention.Contest ideas for the Library?There have been some great Contest ideas down there, but that one on Co-Authoring sounds unique and interesting.The most difficult, the longest, shortest and easiest written and published stories you've done? Well, the most difficult story I've written was probably Moment of Fragile Courage. I redrafted it many times, and I just couldn't get the overall feeling of it write until it was published. Even after that, I changed the ending around. It got good feedback though, so I guess it was okay. The longest Short Story was probably Divided We Fall. And longest Epic was Second Chance (Co-Authoring).Shortest story was actually for a member created contest where you had to write a story under 600 words. That was tough to do, but it came out okay. It's called Sight.Easiest story I wrote was something that took me two months to write. But I wrote half of the story in one day, forgot about it, and when I found it later, wrote the second half in another day. So it took me a few hours to write overall. :B Return. Very easy, the plot and all the meaning was just something I could type up fast.Short Stories and Epics that are your favorites?Wow I have a lot, and I know I'm going to forget some...Anything by Peach 00, Aderia, Velox, Cederak, Sumiki and a few other people I've forgotten. ;-;Recently, I've very much enjoyed An Aftermath, Time and Tide, Redemption, Between Two Eternities, The Islander, Care, Perfectionist and To Fly. Before BZP went down I had a lot more. :/I've seen a large amount of Library discussion on the Blogs before, so discussions by the authors and readers on BZP shouldn't be too hard to muster up. =D
  17. So, my writing experience on the BZP forums has just begun. "Team curse" is up now ( it's here ), and here you can tell me if you like it or not, give me advices on how can I refine my writing or how could the plot go on. Feedback is truly welcome!
  18. Team Curse Review Topic - Chapter 1: A new dawn - He awoke.At first he couldn’t see very well, but soon his eyes got better and he saw a big sandy land. The sky was clear and the sun was shining high in the air, but at the horizon he spotted some dark clouds – they were far, honestly, and not so many to be feared to carry a tempest with them, however he didn’t like them very much, because experiences acquired sometime in the past, a past he seemingly almost lost, told him they wouldn’t just make rain.There were no signs of life around him, just sand and a few stones.Life he had been brought back without a particular reason.The fact is, how could he possibly be back to the living world? He didn’t know that, he just knew he was in some sort of desert.“No way of knowing where to go” he said. “Just what I needed. But let’s not go mad. I should better sum up.”“First, who am I? Second, where am I? Third, why am I here? Fourth, where’s the nearest village? And fifth, is there anyone around here?”“Is that all?”Answered.A voice suddenly came from behind him. As he turned to see who spoke he saw a tall figure standing up near a rock. The mysterious being carried a sword, two throwing knives and a dagger. His armor was red, silver and black and a mantle covered his back. He had never seen him, but he felt like he could rely on that mysterious person.“Is that all? You know, it isn’t so good to have a Toa that came from nowhere just half an hour ago while I was crossing the desert and is now nearly going mad asking himself things. Definitely not anyone's first desire. Perhaps someone’s first nightmare. I’m in the second group, so, I beg you, stop that or I will have to do something bad to your head. If you will agree I could someway help you.”As the character saw the Toa, because the newly reborn person was a Toa, becoming more reasonable, he started speaking.“Good. First, I cannot help you. You’re just a stranger appeared between the sands, for me. Second, you’re on the recently reformed planet of Spherus Magna. Third, I know as much as you do.”That wasn’t enough for the Toa. He still had to know who was he talking to and was about to ask him about when the unknown figure answered his question before knowing it.“I read from your eyes that you’re trying to create a link between my body and a name. Well, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard it. I think you’ve never seen me, too. Now by now I can tell you my name is Aetius. You’ll learn my past in another moment.”Aetius. The Toa had to admit that the warrior was right: he had never heard it. However, he didn’t show fear or doubt when he asked “So, what are we going to do?”.“I think I will take you to the village. And this should answer the fourth. There’s someone that could do the same to the other questions. And I need a weapon for you. At the moment you should stay behind me. Being a Toa will help you, but your powers won’t if you don’t remember how to make ‘em work.”---Aetius started walking heading north. The Toa followed him, having nothing more to do and hoping to find out who or what wanted him alive, hoping to find some old friends, if they still existed, hoping to find a home. There was just hope for him. He didn’t notice the shadow that dug into the sand as they left. Aetius did: instinctively he put his hand on the dagger.
  19. Review Topic Parts revived from old Forums. Side note: I may seem to be on hiatus at times, and I will post the next chapter whenever I feel it is ready. Just to let everyone know. Sneak Peek: "It is the year 665 in the Aethion Expanded Multiverse. Several meteorites have fallen to Alarist. No one knows what —or who—these things are. The Hand of Faith clan on Barrawahi has noticed strange paranormal activity with the other clans. They seem to be… fighting against themselves? Clysmax seems to be reacting to a presence that is a negative form of the Coldstone, which caused its Cataclysmic Shattering. Is Clysmax’s time going in reverse? Is it going to be one planet? Promathus’ Glomosulfur seems to be corroding faster, due to more demand on weapons, which is taking a toll on this industrial planet. There is more purple ash on this planet. The slaves on Tannuk seem to be standing up against their tyrant king, King Taa. Atohune’s Olmak Totem Poles seem to be taking humanoid shapes. Are these – the legendary Olmak Warriors? Izumal seems to be having more problems with the Nanites. Something seems to be overriding them. Without the Nanites, Izumal is powerless! Could all of this be a special and governmental conspiracy started by Zuruk and the mysterious planet only known as Enigma? You will just have to wait for yourself. Many mysteries await you in… The Chronology of Enigma Time is running out!" Hope you like it! Please note: Zuruk and other characters were not made by me. Zuruk only appears in one scene in the entire book. Taa is a fundamental character. I also did not create the Aethion Expanded Multiverse. Review Topic~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Review Topic Prologue: Death Toll He was running. No thought was needed. No memory at all. Nothing. Oblivion. Everything seemed to lead up to this. Why he thinks. Why am I running. I am a Toa, and though I am exiled, I still should fight. He stops and turns around. The fatal noise stopped. The machine whirred to life. "Destruction imminent." "Delay destruction," he says. "Input access code." "Access code APAA7734," he says. "Access code not recognised. Continuing with destruction." He runs away. The machine explodes. Oh, yeah. I'm a fugitive on Izumal. Review Topic ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Review Topic *Side Note: Iranu and Vraxan were made by Stryker055 and Elephant in the Room, (or whatever they go by now) respectively. I suggest that you read The Aethion Project by Srtyker055, and Hostage Diversion and The Shiva Protocol, both by Elephant in the Room. These are great epics, and you should read them* Chapter One: The Melding As the Olmak Totem's effect was taking place, Iranu noticed that he was near a lime green, hourglass-shaped, orb-sized object that had a purple aura. He was on a world with completely new technology. He realized that this must be Izumal, because he knew that anything he can't imagine must be on Izumal. He grabbed the "Green Orb" and walked alongside Vraxan to where he could see what he thought was Izumal. He remembers what happened that day... In the morning, he had a dream, where he was running from something. It must have been from Enlightened, because they seem to make machines. He woke up in the Alarist Planetary Authority Agency building, meaning that if a machine was in the building, they would have deactivated it. After the machine exploded, he ran back through the portal to Alarist, when he woke up to his mission alarm. Iranu checks the time. It is 6.30 Solar Time in the morning. "Finally! I've been waiting for a mission for ages!" Iranu made his way to the Conference room, where he was usually debriefed. "Iranu!" Snapped his boss on his communications link on his helmet. "You're needed in the Garage. You and Vraxan are being debriefed there." Vraxan. That would mean that this mission could get violent. Vraxan was known for his spasmodic violence attacks. They could be very painful. Iranu knew that from experience. "I'm on my way." "NOW!" His boss screamed. "Alright, alright! I'll go!" Iranu snapped. Being a Toa--a warrior, a hero--of Shadow, he crept along to the Garage's double doors, rematerialized in front of them, and opened them. The garage was more of a combination shipyard and docking bay, but when the Agency started, it was small, with very few vehicles, and was frequently expanded upon. In front of him were two beings he never thought would ever have a direct conversation together: Vraxan, his comrade, and his boss, Zhan. "...What do you mean we're waiting for one more party?" Says Vraxan. "I mean... Oh, look! He's here!" "Iranu?" Retorted Vraxan. "Xanthorp, is everything ready?" Iranu calls to no one in particular. "Yes, Iranu. Coordinates are loaded into your helicopter," Xanthorp, the missions manager and ship pilot, replies. "Iranu, being Head Field Agent, you'd normally get seniority, but today, since Vraxan, the Second-highest Ranking Field Agent, is with you, (which would more trouble than it would be worth, anyway)," Zhan mutters, "I'm going to have to give Schapell authorization for this one. He will also give authorization for the use of any and all weaponry and machinery." "Wait, Schapell meaning Agent # 0000004?" "Yes, Iranu. He was one of the 5 founders of the APAA. He has been given the authority and authorization to authorize any authorized weapons. Your mission is to go to the Power Grid and see who shorted it out. Nearly three quarters of the city is in mass chaos. The Vranthanium V7 helicopter is used to transport it to the power grid, and no exceptions!" "Yes, Sir!" The two Toa saluted him, and raced for the helicopter. "Wait! Weapons!" Xanthorp called. After Iranu and Vraxan were suited up and loaded up on weapons and Weapongloves, gloves that can turn into any weapon at the user's will, they raced to the helicopter. "I'm driving," Iranu said. "Alright. I call shotgun!" Conceded Vraxan. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Elsewhere on Alarist... "Regno, did you do what we asked?" Said a heavy Russian accent. "Yes, Revolution, but for the last time, call me Regi." Said the one called Regi. "I understand, but we need that Cold Welder. Promathus won't ship it via Cargo Star, so, I need you to hack into the Alarist Cargo Star,... Regi," the last word Revolution spoke was one of hatred and loathing. He hated calling people by their nicknames. "It's always 'I understand,' 'understandable,' and the like, and yet, no matter how many times I say it, you keep calling me Regno. I've said it once, I'll say it a thousand times if you like. It's Regi. Regi, Regi, Regi." "Just hack into the cargo star." "Alright." Said Regi. "Oh, and one last thing: Don't get caught by that APAA of yours. And this time, don't screw it up." "Okay." Regno di Baraonda shut off the hologram projector and receiver application on his Gadget. He turned to his desk, and pressed the button for his secretary. "Delilah, please send up my laptop, other Gadget, and hacking supplies." "Right away, sir. Oh, and a 'Haleeshi' wants to see you." "Send her up along with my supplies. Thanks." A couple of minutes later... "... A blibbering cool dude, I tell you. Always running to Tanuuk for limpets. Hi, Regi." "Thank you, Delilah," said Regi, now turning to Haleeshi. "Haleeshi, I just got a call from Revolution." "About what?" "He wants a Cold Welder from Miscellaneous Enterprises, but they won’t deliver it. He wants me to hack into the Alarist Cargo Star and retrieve one, and he’s getting very impatient." "Sounds like retribution, and a job for you." "Yes, it is. What were you talking to Delilah about?" "My former, and (I hope so) late bodyguard, Max. He was the type of blibbering cool dude who couldn't walk, talk, and chew bubblegum at the same time." "You say 'late' and 'was' meaning...what?" "I'm pretty sure I killed him, but who knows? Miracles are everywhere, right?" "Right. 'The Lord works in mysterious ways.' Now, what did you want to talk to me about?" "The APAA is at the Power Grid, and might be headed here any minute now." Haleeshi replied. "Delilah, activate Evacuation Procedure 7375." He says into his mike. "Alright. Everything is being packed up with F-Space we stole from F-Labs (Researchers of F-Science.), cars ready, saving all network files to a flash drive, lights will be shut off when we exit, and building will catch fire." "Contact everyone in the building to evacuate immediately. I'll bring my stuff down in my never-ending briefcase. I'm copying the files on my Gadget to 2 flash drives." Regi says. Once everyone is evacuated from the building and are in the cars, the building ignites. "Wait, we have to go back into the inferno, or at least with a Kanohi Hau and a Toa of Fire." Says Regi. "No! But what did you leave in there this time?" Asks Haleeshi. "I think one of the flash drives." "It'll burn in the inferno, right?" Delilah asks. "It would if it weren’t fire resistant." "But you dropped it in ice so it would burn, right?" Haleeshi asked. "I think so, but I don’t remember..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Iranu, status report." Demanded Zhan over the communications link. "We're coming in on the power grid now. Preparing to land." "Alright. When you're done, we have a 401 that may be linked to the power grid ordeal." "A burning building?" "Yes." "Hang on, I see a body. Launching fire bombs." Vraxan said. "Vraxan, no! It might not be a hostile. It could be an innocent person." "I'm still launching them." Vraxan said adamantly. "I haven't authorized fire bombs yet, Vraxan!" "Sir? Schapell, is that you?" "No, it's me, Zhan." "Sir, you always were a trickster," Iranu called. "Is that a threat?!" Zhan screamed. "No, It's a promise," Vraxan said. "Find out its alliance, and if it's a hostile, KILL IT. We'll send an emergency team to the building for the time being. If the person is an innocent, then interrogate him on everything he knows." "Yes, Sir!" Iranu and Vraxan said in unison, a very strange occurrence. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"No. You don’t understand. We need to go there now!" Regi commanded. "Or what?" Said Trace, the driver. Trace hated empty threats, and Regi almost always gave them. "Or I'll tell Revolution that you’re working for the APAA, and that you plan on either assassinating him or usurping his power!" "You wouldn't!" Trace said. "Try me." Regi retorted. "Just a question: What's so important that's in that flash drive?" Asked Haleeshi. "Every file on the network." Says Regi. "But it would burn, right?" Haleeshi asks. "No. That’s the problem. APAA could use it as evidence." "You didn't soak it in ice water?!" Haleeshi yells. "No, but I’ve been meaning to for a long time, but Revolution keeps calling me. A lot. I've had no time to do that." Regi continues. End Chapter One *For some reason, in the 2nd section, no matter how many times I edit it, it always ends up coming out as "cool dude," but in reality, it's supposed to be the I-D-I-O-T word.* Review Topic~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Review Topic “Stranded. That word brings horrible thoughts to me. Vraxan abandoned me to interrogate the “Traitor” in the APAA building. Something tells me, though, that this is only the beginning. I think that that toa, or whatever he is, Binns, is innocent. But we may never know… But meanwhile, I’m stuck with a retarded mission from Zhan. Reconnaissance duty. Please. That’s no mission fit for a Wotcher, or head field agent. Recon Duty on BZ-Koro can be boring. Very boring. Luckily, I have a partner. His codename is Nix; the reason being is that he’s a Zo-, or twilight, Troak. The Troak are bulky, and are less brain than brawn, I’ve seen. They’re about my height on average aswell. But Nix is no ordinary Troak. He’s smarter—way smarter than the average individual. His element is not natural—for his mother was a Kra-Troak (A shadow Troak) while his father was an Av-Troak (A light Troak). He was born with both elements to control, and can obscure an area with wavy lights; fill it with darkness; or a combination between the two. However, working with Nix can be a nightmare (Despite his mask being a Kanohi Eupho, the mask of good dreams). Due to his unnatural element combination, he is found having brief violent moments. Wait. Scratch that. More than brief violent moments. But, he is a good observer. Anyway, I still believe there is at least one traitor to the APAA here.” Schoom. The door to Iranu’s quarters opened. “Zephyrixius.” Iranu said with a curt nod. “Iranu! Long time no see!” Said Zephyrixius, poundingIranu’s fist, the Toa equivalent of a handshake. “So, how’s life?” “Same as usual. After the excursion at Northridge on Tyrant,they told me to take it a little easier after Dane was killed.” “Will there be a memorial service?” “Yes. Towards the end of the year. “Wow. That’s…that’s three months away.” “Exactly. They say Dane was so worthless that other onescome before him.” “He was a powerful ally, and a formidable enemy to bet. Whythough?” “Why what?” Zephyrixius asked. “Oh, well it seemsthat hew was helping enslaved matoran out and they killed him.” “That calls for retaliation. Killing an offworlder…” Iranu’svoice trailed off. “I know. I think so too.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Hahleeshi-What’s our ETA on the warehouse?” “Forty-five minutes.” “Good. My source says the APAA’s on to our last location.” “Wow. It takes them a week to get to the building?” “Your internal calendar is off. It’s been a day. But mysource knew. However, he is my most trusted ally.” “How do you know?” “He’s a stitch, not a snitch.” “What?” “He keeps secrets, not tells them.” “Oh.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“My master, I have returned.” Good. The voice echoed around the chamber. Progress? “I believe they suspect.” Kill them. Kill them all. Leave NO WITNESSES. “Sire, shall I feed them to the Thursks? They are hungry.” Yes…Yes. Feed them to the Thursks of Atohune. End Chapter Two Review Topic~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Review Topic Chapter Three: The Silver Lining "Sir!" "Yes, Sacret?" "We've found something on the flash drive, Iranu." "What is it?" "Profiles on a Toa." "Element?" "Magnetism--Neh." "A Neh-Toa, hmm? Rare. Very rare indeed. What's his name?" "Re- Reg- Regno di Bar- Bara- Baraonda," Sacret said with some difficulty. "Regi," Iranu murmured. "What's that?" "Nothing. Get those profiles to my station." "Yes, sir!" "Oh, and Sacret?" "Yes?" "Never mind," Iranu waved him off. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Clysmax falling.There's nothing I can do. I fear we all will be torn apart... "Nix?! Another vision?" "Yeah, Vraxan. I-I think Shatteredn will have something happen to it." "Like what?" "I don't know. But thanks for keeping me on task. I think Narcas is up to something." "What does the Ice King have to do with it?" Vraxan inquired. "Remember? Ice is believed to have created the Coldstone." "Oh, right." "Vraxan. Come in." "Yeah Iranu?" "We have intel on the drive. Report to Tech now." "I will," Said Vraxan, his metal wing shuddering. "Nix, I'm needed in Tech. Coming?" "Sure. Hang on a moment though." "Okay." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"They've - we have found you, Regi. Hide in our temple on BZ-Koro." "Okay. I'm on the southernmost point now. I'll get on over there." "No one can see you, or you'll jeopardize our mission." "Okay. Stop being my boss." "Well, I am. I formed the group." "Who knows?" "I think only me." "Think?" "Yes. You're gathering followers?" "Yes, and I'm assuming you are too?" "Yes. You're doing well - evading us and all." "Don't patronize me." "All right. I've got to go. We're searching for your energy signature. We haven't gotten to Central yet. The temple should block out your energy sig." "Okay. Bye." "Sir," Nacros, the Shadow-Walker said, "With all due respect, you're acting strange.""Why?" Ragos, the Red One asked."We would greatly like to know." Verdos, the Old Green said."It would give us great pleasure." Azros, the Young Blue stated. "Has anyone told you brothers that you're all so very annoying?!" "Yes." Ragos."Many times." Azros."Indeed." Nacros."Very much so." Verdos. "Agh! Make me a gate to the Temple of the Ancients." "Yes." All four said in unison, crossing hazy blades, fiery scythes, leafy spears, and liquid axes together. A blinding flash. A woman's scream. He was at the temple. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Clio de Barona screamed. She had just stepped ionto a room and saw a body hanging by a noose. She didn't know who it was, but it was frightening. She turned the body around and screamed louder. It was Rex, her youngest brother. "STOP SCREAMING!" Rex yelled. "I just went into a heliarium-induced coma." "And so you had to hang yourself to get it out." "Exactly. Now, if you would please get me out of suspension..." "Okay. Now--how do I do this?" "You'll need a nui-jaga scorpion, an Atohune triboldvum, and..." "Or I could just slice the rope," Clio said, repeating what she had just done. "That could work, too." "Knock-knock. May I come in?" "Leo! Have you seen our brother?" "Regi? No, I'm afraid. I haven't seen him since..." "Southraunt, I believe." Interrupted Clio. "Yes, it was Southraunt. He was the one that hacked a Deathwing." Leo, this time. "He is an excellent hacker." Rex. "And that's why he joined 'Revolution,' I guess." Clio. "Who is he--Revolution, I mean," asked Leo. "No idea." Rex and Clio answered at the same time. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Where is he?!" "Patience, Narcas. He will come in due time." "In due time?! What's that supposed to mean, Raana?" "Simply stated, sir, the Sages have found him in Khiahu Ko." "Prince Zaha will come soon. The One says so." "Marhaana, stop. Your fortune-telling is getting old." "Sorry I'm late! Zinara had me sweeping the kitchens." "Again? What did you do this time? Or perhaps, what didn't you do this time?" "NOTHING!" "You were feeding the rats, weren't you?" Asked a new voice, female, by the tone. "Zaha, meet Melpomene. I have hired her to make sure you don't get into trouble. "Ha! A king in the making? As if!" Another new voice, a male. "Shup up, Auzin," commanded Zaha. "Just because I'm adopted doesn't mean you can insult me!" Yelled Auzin. "Stop it! Both of you! To your rooms!" Yelled Raana. "But-" "NOW!" "Yes, dad." "My lord, if I may," whispered Raana, "I don't think either of them are fit to rule." "Same here, Raana." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Sir, something's wrong with my computer!" "Oh, Prac! It's a worm! Everyone! Shut sown you computers! Xanthorp, I want you and your team down here now! Get this worm fixed!" End Chapter Three Review Topic
  20. Tale of Dragons Chapter Two - Energy Artakha was a mess after the Makuta Kojol had invaded with his Rahkshi army, they had stolen the Kanohi Avohkii, the Mask of Light, and destroyed much of the city. --- I, Glacias, Thonux, and Titanix were walking down the streets of Artakha, then suddenly, two blue and white, and badly damaged Rahkshi appeared from behind a nearby building! Before we had the chance to escape, scream for help, or do anything else, they fired bolts of electricity on us. The bolts were not powerful, but enough to make us faint. --- When I woke up I was in a murky chamber, the other Matoran still lying unconscious beside me. There were tubes with creepy armors in them, a greenish fog that covered the room, and pools containing some weird silvery liquid. "That would be Energized Protodermis" I heard a voice saying. Then I saw a creature leaning over, with a face to familliar to my liking, although damaged, I clearly understood who the character was. "Kojol", I whispered. "Clever little Matoran, you are.", the Makuta answered. "But not too clever." Kojol clapped his hands together to make a powerful sound wave, which was intended to wake up the other Matoran. The Matoran woke up, looking scared and confused, much like me. Glacias was the first to speak. "Wh-Where are w-we?" Kojol laughed. "Make a guess." The Makuta said while walking over to us. "I'm bored, and angry.", he said. "Let us have some fun!" --- Four Rahkshi appeared from the shadows and lifted up me and the other Matoran. "What are you going to do with us?!" Thonux exclaimed. "Hahaha! Well, you will soon find out! Won't you?" "And you, Ta-Matoran!" the Makuta shouted. "Hand over that backpack of yours, now!" Suddenly, it came to my mind, that I had a tooth, said to be from the legendary Kanohi Dragon, in my bag. Figured it could come handy, I quickly opened my bag and searched for it. "NOW!", the Makuta shouted, sounding more angry than before. "Got you!" I said to myself. With the tooth in my hand, I took the bag in the other and threw it over to the Makuta. "Good.", Kojol said, heading for his throne. "Rahkshi, you know what to do." --- The Rahkshi walked over to the largest pool of Energized Protodermis, then the one holding Glacias held her over the pool. "What are you going to do to me!?" Glacias shouted with fear and anger in her voice. The Rahkshi only responded by revealing the Kraata and making a hissing sound, then suddenly Glacias was falling into the pool. Everyone was quiet for what seemed like a eternity, when suddenly a beam of Ice erupted from the pool, whirling like a maelstrom. Then the Rahkshi holding Thonux and Titanix dropped them too, and sure it was followed by a maelstrom of thunderbolts, and one made from solid protodermis. Then the Rahkshi holding me started to walk towards the pool, facing me, it hissed while revealing the Kraata inside, I took advantage of the opportunity and tried to stab the Kraata with my dragon tooth, but just in time, it closed its armor and from the force of the impact, the tooth shattered, parts flying into my organic tissue. "Aaaaargh!" I shouted, as I realized that the Rahkshi had dropped me. Welcome. I am Charliezard, and this is my tale. Review
  21. To anyone who has read/is reading the Bara Magna Chronicles, some new information as of tonight: 1. 40 chapters is the 2010 storyline. I am on, I believe, the 16th chapter as of today. 2. The chapters, instead of continuing "Round" is going to change, showing the change in storyline. It becomes "Sermon". 3. At the least, two short stories will be written and posted as companion storylines to go with the 40 chapters. One is instrumental in bridging the gap between the chapter I wrote yesterday, and the storyline that continues into today's chapter that I'm writing, and beyond to the final chapter. The other is just to bring some characterization that I want to get inside, but hadn't the room to put into actual chapters. 4. MOCs of most characters were done, and now, the only "unseen" characters will be Certavus and the Lords. Certavus is not the official image in real canon, but when we see the Lords, they will be, most likely. The Sisters of the Skrall will be drawn, not MOCed, most likely. That's about it.
  22. Tale of Dragons Chapter 1: Invasion There were Matoran workers running everywhere as far the eye could tell, behind the fleeing Matoran evil Rahkshi soldiers were following And not long after, a large black and green wagon pulled by two giant Kikanalo beasts followed, and on it sat a Makuta. The Rahkshi did not notice me and the three other Matoran I had become friends with recently, neither did the Makuta. "Rahkshi!", the Makuta yelled, "Invade the temple, and take what we came for!" Suddenly all of the Rahkshi ran to the temple and shattered the doorway, the first of them that entered were not so lucky. A huge beam of laser incerated almost half of the Rahkshi, suddenly we heard a loud voice. "Be gone, you beings of Shadow!" the voice said. Even though not a scream, the tone the being spoke in was enough to make the Great Spirit himself shake in his shoes. "Hahaha! Artakha, you really think you can defeat us?", the Makuta yelled. A huge being with gray-green armor entered from the temple. "Kojol," the being said, "What good will this bring?" The Makuta was silent, suddenly he ordered the remaining Rahkshi to attack. A Yellow Rahkshi with a golden Mask in its hand escaped unnoticed, but not before giving a sign to Kojol that the mission was completed. The Rahkshi that had been ordered to attack the giant, Artakha, were no match for him, but it was enough to make a decoy. "Well, Artakha, to answer your question, the Avohkii.", Kojol said while making a laugh. "Kojol!", Artakha shouted. Artakha lept over to the wagon which held the Makuta and punched him right on his mask, it shattered on impact. A white and golden Matoran came running from the temple, "It's too late, master! They have taken the Mask of Light!" Artakha glanced at the Matoran, then back to the Makuta. "Kojol, I will let you go this time, but I will see that you get your punishment.", the being paused. "..but remember this, you aren't welcome here, not even one of your likes. But if someone is stupid enough to do that, they will pay." Review
  23. Tale of Dragons Prologue I, Charliezard, was originally a simple Matoran from Ta-Metru, I worked hard with my fellow Matoran friends. I lived a perfectly normal life. But one day, I and three other Matoran, not from Metru-Nui, were sent to a nearby island by our local Turaga to discuss trading proposals. When I first arrived, the thing that caught my eye was a huge white and golden temple, not only that but there were Matoran at work everywhere! This island was known for being one of the most peaceful and technologically advanced islands, so I've heard. Though I did not get to enter the temple, I and the other Matoran were going to meet in a almost as beautiful building; the Global Trade Station. I was apparently the first to arrive, as I was told by the Turaga who led me to the Union Room. Not shortly after, the three Matoran arrived, one by one. The first was a female Ko-Matoran, who introduced herself as Glacias. The other was a male Fe-Matoran, a Matoran of Iron, named Titanix. Third of the Matoran was a Matoran of Lightning, before he had the chance to introduce himself, Glacias started to run towards him. "Greetings Thonux!", Glacias cheerfully said with her arms high while she was running to hug Thonux. "Hello sister!", Thonux said with a smile on his mask, while preparing to hug the Ko-Matoran. Titanix did not say anything at first, neither did I, as I tend to be a little bit shy. We sat down and started to discuss the proposal to start trades between our villages, Everything worked out fine, we came to decisions that would benefit our cities, our tribes, everyone of our fellow citizens. But suddenly we heard an alarm, and Matoran shouting! "Rahkshi!" Review
  24. I decided upon possibly writing a series of short stories for the C.I.R.C.L.E. canon. Due to writing the crime basis of the Double epics (namely Crime and the City and The Final Game, the former to a greater extent), I might write a series of short stories based on the other side of crime. Court. Create a new island full of laws and codes, and have Matoran and Turaga lawyers, for use on islands such as Doppel Nui and anywhere else requiring law to be carried out. I'd have to figure out how it would be carried out exactly, but it is a possibility I am definitely keeping open.
  25. As of yesterday, I've begun the process of creating a new epic for the C.I.R.C.L.E. canon. I've MOCed the main Toa characters and their starting arsenal thus far. As soon as I get some stuff run through C.I.R.C.L.E. for voting, I can begin the process of actually getting things started for writing, since it hinges on one article getting through. So far, I'm probably setting it 998 or 999 A.G.C., keeping it roughly in "Double"'s time period, not that there will be any interactions. Thus far, I have yet to name my characters, but I did pick out elements for them. I wanted to keep less common elements in main positions, such as, "Energy", "Technology", and "Spirits", with really only one of the real elements from the main canon in the epic in a position of importance. Thus far, what I have is: Island: Angelus Nui Phrase incorporated with the epic (underneath the title, and in chapter previews): "Ascend from the depths of the pain of memories!"
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