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  1. GSR

    Cenotaphs

    When it comes to Bionicle, I'm a pretty simple guy. Give me some Toa, a few Matoran for them to protect, and maybe an unexpected mask power, and that'll usually get me pretty far. It's pretty telling that I stopped following the story closely around the time of 2004. Which makes the fact I enjoyed Cederak's Cenotaphs pretty crazy in my eyes. It's a story from the outlaws' perspective, a story that rather than use the usual heroes and villains and settings opts to build a world out of the blank spots in canon. Cederak shows off any number of overlooked species, islands, and technologies through the eyes of a farmer-turned-mercenary living near the end of the Barraki's reign, and in doing so he gives a very real texture to the universe. We always had the view of a Toa - here's a view from the rest of the world. Maybe this post is redundant, given Cenotaphs (very deservedly) hit the front page a few months back, but I wanted to make it anyways. If you've got some time, go start reading it, and join me in marveling at how much more you can build out of the backstory of a nearly-three-years-halted constraction line.
  2. (this has been approved by Black Six) So, the Ambage is getting ready to start its next published Anthology (after the successful completion of X:15). However, while the set-up was cool (15 themes, 15 writers, etc.), it was a little crazy coordinating and organizing everything. As such, with this next anthology, instead of having a bunch of themes, we're focusing on a single genre/overarching theme. So you could write for any theme, as long as it fits within the "genre" of the anthology. Select which "genre" (or genres) you like best--the one with the most votes (or if some are tied and are compatible [i.e. Fantasy/Sci-Fi], then more than one) will be the overarching genre for the next anthology. While the anthology itself is open only to Ambage members on Skype (more information on how to participate will be posted in the main Ambage topic soon), feel free to vote in this poll even if you are not an Ambage member. Also keep in mind that we will be doing a Halloween anthology later, in case that helps you decide which theme(s) you choose for this one. This poll will close Sunday, March 3rd, at 11:59 PM PST.
  3. My friend showed me a song recently that made me want to write, or just find, a story where the fate of the world hinges on Pong. And, like, the characters would challenge each other to these world-changing, mind-smashing rounds of the game with: "Let us play Pong." And it'd be all dark and serious and stuff. *makes ominous hand motions for dramatic effect*
  4. Gotta calm everyone down after all that drama in my last blog entry, gosh. Here's a nice story, super short and junk. I even illustrated it myself. IT'S ABOUT FISH
  5. GSR

    On Reviews

    So recently the ECC got the heads-up that some of our recent reviews (particularly charity ones) have been discouraging rather than helpful. Cederak already made a response in the official ECC topic, but I wanted to give my own quick comment on this situation: In my reviews, I know I can get pretty critical, and getting that dropped on you out of nowhere can be disheartening. But please don't take the review as the be-all-end-all, or as just criticism for criticism's sake. I enjoy helping people with their writing, but if my reviews are giving an impression of being mean-spirited or too critical, that doesn't help anyone. I am always open to feedback on my reviews. Seriously! If there's a point you feel I was too harsh on, or if you want more explanation, or if you feel I just plain got it wrong, let me know! The downside of charity reviews is that they wind up being kind of one-sided because the author isn't explicitly looking for a ECC review, and that makes it harder to write a helpful review. Like Ced said, we're going to be shifting the style of charity reviews to be less of critiques and more of, well, reviews, but the above still applies (more than ever, really). I'm also going to try and adjust my reviewing style to get a better balance between discussing areas I think could use work and discussing the strong parts of a story. The above goes for my fellow critics as well. If you have any problems with any of our reviews, get in touch with the reviewer, or if you'd prefer not to directly do so just drop a PM to Steelsheen, the head of the ECC. Same thing if you have any comments on the ECC not related to a specific review, or if you don't want any charity reviews. Anyways, that's my bit on this. Happy writing!
  6. TNTOS

    No More Memory

    Today our Acer laptop completely ran out of memory. It's not surprising, really. It's been telling us for months now that it's memory is almost full and during that time we've deleted as many old or unnecessary files as we could in an attempt to make more room on the hard drive. Yet today the inevitable has finally happened. Considering that deleting useless memory hasn't helped in the slightest, it appears we're either going to have to buy new memory for it or just buy a new computer entirely. I suspect we'll end up doing the latter because we've been talking about getting a new laptop for a while now (our current one is from 2007, you see, so it's quite old by computer standards). The reason this is relevent to BZP is because I am unable to open my Word documents without any memory. That means that, until this problem is resolved, I cannot post anymore new chapters of my currently-running comedy, BIONICLE: The Legend Imploded. Therefore, TLI is currently on hiatus for an indefinite period of time. I'm going to have to tell the rest of my family, but I have no idea what we'll decide to do next. I'll probably still be on BZP and Skype, though, since both of those are still working, but don't expect to see any new fanfics from me for a while, unfortunately. I'll try to keep y'all posted as we figure this out. -TNTOS- UPDATE: Looks like I spoke too soon. I guess someone must've deleted some files or something because our laptop has memory again. Not a whole lot, but enough that I can open Word documents again without any serious problems. Definitely going to need to figure out how to free up more memory, though, so this doesn't happen again. So expect another TLI chapter next Saturday, as usual.
  7. The nice thing about writing a short story that turns into an epic is that you can have a reasonable turn-around time on chapters! Well, a chapter. If you count 'a week' as reasonable. Point is, The Shadow and the Sea is done. Read it! Critique it! Bop it! Point out canon discrepancies that I sort of just looked the other way on... it!
  8. The nice bit about posting an epic you know will only be three parts is that you can make an entry for every chapter without clogging up your blog! In any event, it's over here. Feedback is awesome as always, and fingers crossed the third and final part'll be up rather sooner.
  9. The Good Judgment of Madame the Virgin Mary (scene: The palace of Justice, Paris, 1482)Gringoire: Oh my, the crowd is getting restless!Actor 1: What are we going to do? We’re supposed to wait for the Cardinal.Gringoire: Yes, but if we offend him by starting early, we’ll be hanged.Actor 2: So we wait, then.Gringoire: [pacing] Yes, but then we’d be hanged by the people.Actor 1: Well make up your mind then! We’ve got to do something. I can hear some of them building makeshift nooses already.Gringoire: Alright! Alright! Just give me a moment to think of something.Actor 2: When you say “alright”, are you saying it like “all right”, as in with two L’s and a space, or like alright, as in one L and no space? The second is more grammatically correct.Gringoire: That’s not helping.Actor 1: Yes, you’re not helping. Besides, we’re talking in French.Actor 2: Oh are we? But the script is in English.Actor 1: Well it’s hypothetically in French. As in, the dialogue is in English for the sake of the audience but it’s actually in French.Actor 2: Now how does that work?Actor 1: Actor 2, use your brain! We are fictional characters in a translated work! It just works that way. If it really bothers you, just speak in a ridiculous French accent and for all intents and purposes you’re speaking French.Gringoire: Are you quite done breaking the fourth wall yet? I find that type of humor so unsophisticated.Actor 1&2: Yes sir.Gringoire: Now back to my pacing. Think think. Think think. Think think. Alright, I have it. [steps forward, pulling up Actor 1 and hiding behind him] Sirs and Madams, you know that I love the people of Paris! As a matter of fact, I love you so much that I would hate to keep you waiting for the sake of one person, so we’ll start the play. [steps back]Actor 1: What was that for?Gringoire: When the Cardinal arrives, I don’t want him to know that I’m the one who decided to start the play early. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to pretend I have nothing to do with this production. Now get this done, Actor 1. You too, Actor 2.[Exit Gringoire. Enter four more actors labeled Clergy, Nobility, Trade, and Labor]Actor 2: See you later, PierreActor 1: Messieurs the Bourgeois and mademoiselles the bourseoises, we shall have the honor of declaring and representing before his eminence, monsieur the cardinal, a very beautiful morality which has the title The Good Judgment of Madam the Virgin Mary. I am to play Jupiter. His eminence is, at this moment, escorting the very honorable embassy of the Duke of Austria; which is detained, at present, listening to the harangue of monsieur the rector of the university, at the gate Baudets. As soon as his illustrious eminence, the cardinal, arrives, we will begin…or rather not.Actor 2: That’s right, we’re here for you.Actor 1: And so let us bring upon the stage our three principle forces…blah blah blah blah blah blah.Actor 2: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.Actor 1: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.Actor 1&2: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.[enter Victor Hugo]Hugo: Hello, I’m just dropping in from the nineteenth century looking for ideas for a book. What have we got here?Actor 1&2: Blah blah blah...[ad infinitum].Hugo: I see [writes down notes]. If you don’t mind, I find this extremely boring. This will probably be skipped over in my book. How long is this prologue going to take?Actor 1: Blah blah blah blah blah – Clergy – blah blah blah blah – Nobility – blah blah blah – Trade – blah blah – Labor – blah.Hugo: Alright, I got the part about Clergy, Nobility, Trade, and Labor. After that monologue, even the dimmest of audience members could guess who each character was supposed to represent. The labels on your shirts aren’t helping with the subtlety. I’m not sure if I agree with your brand of art.Actor 1: No wait, by “alright” do you mean “all right” with two L’s and a space or “alright” with one L and no space?Hugo: [facepalms] Forget it, I’m getting out of here.END- For most who read Hunchback of Notre Dame, this is surely the most memorable moment. That's probably because it's in the first chapter (book) and it gets extremely difficult to read after the second chapter. So when I had to write something based off of the latest book I supposedly read, this is the subject matter I came up with.Embedded in the work is an inside joke that isn't readily apparent to those outside of the original intended audience. The most prominent of these is the reference to the commonly misspelled phrase "all right", which we were discussing in class the other day.Your Honor,Emperor Kraggh
  10. Just finished revamping my library. What are the new things I added/changed? Here's a list for those interested: -New introduction -"Two Tales" and "What I Should have Said" added -Entire Glatorian Chronicles series edited into numerical order -"Genre" feature added, which tells you what kind of story a particular fanfic is -Edited summaries for several fanfics -New stories in the "COMING SOON" section -Better formatting I'm glad I got that out of the way. Been meaning to do it for a while but was intimidated by the size of my library. Now that it's done, I don't have to worry about it anymore, so yay and stuff. -TNTOS-
  11. Soooo after only a year and 2 months...I finally have the next chapter up in my comedy, Mata Nui High School If you'd like to check it out and let me know what you think, that'd be great! Until then, remember disco is in this year! -Jordboy1
  12. TNTOS

    Good Stories

    As a writer, I believe it is very important to read as much as you can. And not just in your preferred genre, either. Try to read in a variety of different genres, if possible, because good writing is good writing no matter what it is garbed in. As a matter of fact, read nonfiction books, too. Histories, philosophical/theological books, scientific books, personal memoirs, 'how to' books, etc, etc. Nonfiction not only works as research, but also aids writers in expanding their horizon and deepening their understanding of humanity. I truly believe that a writer can only ever truly become a great writer by understanding humanity to the best extent that he or she can, even if that requires discarding cherished beliefs in favor of those that make more sense in light of what the writer now knows. It's true that you won't be able to read every book out there, but you don't need to. You only need to read as many books as you can get. And this isn't a one-time deal, either, but something you do over a lifetime (if you're serious about writing, that is). It's also true that some books out there really, really, really suck. I mean, REALLY suck. They're so awful that it's all you can do to turn the page in the faint hope that maybe it will get better, only to be disappointed to discover the same drivel that was on the previous page. In that case, I suggest either putting the book down or figuring out just what is so bad about it so you can avoid duplicating such awfulness in your own writing in the future. On the flipside, you're bound to find some absolute gems, whether in fiction or nonfiction. You know what I'm talking about. The kind of books that you don't want to -- no, can't -- put down because they are so exciting, so interesting, perhaps even thought-provoking. They are the ones that inspire you, that challenge you to dare meet their standard of excellence. And so you place them on a tall mountain and attempt to reach them with all your might, even though you are aware you might never reach their stand of excellence no matter how hard you try, which actually gives you the impetus to try harder, rather than give up in frustration and anger at your own limitations. Comic books, movies, TV shows, short stories, plays, and other forms of storytelling media can be every bit as excellent as a good book. I say this partly to be fair and partly so that you will be encouraged to look for good storytelling in all media, regardless of how it is presented. Good stories are good whether presented on stage, in a bound book, or on a computer screen. And if you're a serious writer, you should strive with every good story to find out why it is so good and then apply that to your own writing as best as you can. Why am I writing all of this? I can't say. It's just a thought that popped into my mind recently. As I haven't wrote a substantial blog entry in a while, I thought it would be worth typing up and posting. Hope it's coherent, at least . -TNTOS-
  13. I promise, it wasn't on purpose, things just got out of hand. It's over here, so take a gander. It's got Hahli, and that one alternate-universe Teridax who turned out to be a good guy and then got left in the dust by the storyline ending, and Rahkshi, and other fun stuff. It started as a short story, so the bulk of the thing's written. Expect three chapters. Feedback is awesome as always.
  14. Link to Review here! Star Wars: Rise of the Dark Lords Prologue The year is 3,955 BBY. Twenty three years after Darth Revan disappeared into the Unknown Regions of space. After Darth Malak was defeated by Revan, and Revan disappeared, the title of Dark Lord remained untaken. That is until Darth Veldrin, A student of Revan, took to power. Darth Veldrin ruled right after Malak and his reign last for twenty years until he was betrayed by his own son, Darth Vith; who ended his father’s life.Darth Vith took his father’s place as Dark Lord. Darth Vith continues to hold the remains of the Sith Empire Revan forged. But the Empire was greatly weakened by the Republic and is all but scattered; few Sith show themselves on planets other than their own. But someone is coming. A new Dark Lord who will unite the Sith, and bring chaos to the galaxy. Chapter One: Into the Void Cemeron did not need too concentrate as he piloted his starship: the Ebon Hawk. Flying was like second nature to him, it did not require much thought. His old Dynamic-class freighter had been through quite a bit in the passed years. It had survived dangerous happenings like spice runs and space battles. But Cemeron trusted his vessel with his life.As he navigated through space he avoided incoming asteroids with delicate skill. His brow furrowed as the rocky outcroppings race past his ship. It seemed that they almost grazed the blast-glass before him; which protects him from the void of space beyond.He wasn’t far from the red world of Korriban; however, he had miss-judged a few hyperspace calculations and ended up further from the planet as he had wished; landing in an asteroid field.But asteroids did not really bother Cemeron; he was a veteran pilot and well versed with space travel. Cemeron’s dark eyes widened with shock as his ship started to shake wildly. Asteroids jumbled in a crazed sort of semi-dance, outside the Ebon Hawk. He had never seen them move like that in his entire life.He flicked random switches trying to stabilize whatever was causing the strange motion. Suddenly all the stars seemed to black out; consuming Cemeron in pitch black darkness. Likewise, the Ebon Hawk groaned and lost power, shaking even more then before.Cemeron’s droid companion stumbled into the cock-pit. “Query: What’s going on?” he said in his synthesized voice; which was hinting frustration.In return Cemeron grinded his teeth. “I have no idea HK, but this does not look good…” his words trailed off as the space around him lit up with radiant energy. Purple plasma shot out in all directions, melting asteroids in micro-seconds. Cemeron watched as more purple plasma formed lightning type tendrils that sliced through rock and metal like lightsabers to flesh.HK-47 was an old droid. He stood about six feet tall and was covered in orange and red armored plating. He had two glowing red eyes, a helmet looking face and a thin remotely human, orange plated body. HK had come with the ship, which Cemeron had bought from an alien dealer on Tatooine some years ago.The alien dealer had told Cemeron that the ship was ancient and had been through tons of battle. According to the dealer it had once belonged to Darth Revan, and the famous Jedi Exile.Cemeron had bought the ship because of the Darth Revan part. Cemeron had fought alongside Revan in the Mandalorian wars and respected him; that and the ship was supposedly the fastest in the Outer Rim region.HK-47 watched in what seemed to be fascination. Moments after, all the remaining asteroids shot forward toward where the purple plasma seemed to be emanating. Cemeron gasped in horror as he finally realized what he was looking at. The looming purple mass of electricity and swirling plasma was actually a giant black-hole. It seemed to be a tear in space itself; and Cemeron knew he was powerless against a force that powerful. Already his ship was moving steadily closer to it. He frantically flipped switches, trying to get the Ebon Hawk to power up, but it was useless.The world around Cemeron seemed to slow around him; his ship was a tiny ant compared to the massive disk of energy. All that could be heard was the crackling of plasma and the shuddering of metal.He accepted his fate and turned to his droid. “Strap in and shut-up.” he said darkly.HK’s robotic limbs whirred as he clanked over to the co-pilot’s seat and sat down. He fiddled with the seat-belt. “Statement: Yes master, meat-bag-sir” he replied sarcastically for a droid. Cemeron slammed his fist into the control panel. “Blast it all! I came to Korriban to learn to be a Sith and all I found was a giant death trap!” he said letting his anger pour out. He directed his anger toward the Jedi. Cemeron hated the Jedi because a Jedi had slaughtered his wife.Cemeron’s blast-glass frosted over and blocked out the epic view beyond. The angered Sephi looked into the tiny icy crystals reflecting his face. He was a haunted looking individual. Cemeron had long white hair, pulled into a smooth pony tail that fell down his back. He had a square jaw, and a crooked nose, that gave him a warrior's appearance. He had the customary long pointed ears of the Sephi, which differed them from humans.Cemeron stood at 6’4’’ and weighed 210 pounds of muscle. He had a sleek, but well toned body; one that was hardened by military service. His chest back and shoulders are quite scarred from battles.He turned away seeming disgusted that the face he was staring into, his own, would never get revenge. He was never going to become a Sith and destroy all those that had ruined his old life. An eerie purple glow filled the ship, and energy crackled everywhere, Cemeron looked as the tiny hairs on his arms stood on end. He cried out as the energy grew hotter, and more powerful, almost blinding. I’m going to be boiled alive! He thought before his mind-overloaded, and could no-longer comprehend what was going on around him.The Ebon Hawk disappeared into the deaths of the black-hole. A few moments after it was consumed, the portal seemed to shrink, and collapse in on itself; before it finally ceased to exist, in a flash of white light. All that it left behind was nothingness, just empty space. The stars winked back to life, revealing where the asteroid field once was, not even the pebble sized rocks had survived the black hole, nothing was left... Chapter Two: Crash-landings Never Feel Good HK-47 had been through his share of crashes before, so this was nothing new to him. His memory banks recalled crashing on the unknown world of the Rakata, Telos, and Malachor IV. His red eye beams snapped to life and his mechanical head swiveled. HK took in the surrounding cock-pit without saying a single word. The glass before him was cracked and broken, and a man sized hole dominated it.HK noticed that Cemeron was not present and his seat lay unbuckled; like usual. Shuddering pipes stuck out of the broken wall panels and lights turned on and off. Dark smoke poured from somewhere within the ship and electricity crackled over broken machinery. There was a metallic scream then a loud clunk as T3-M4 flew into the cockpit; sparkling with electricity and spewing droid-parts.HK tried to unbuckle himself to help his astromech droid companion, when he discovered his left arm was nothing but a sparking nub. The rest of his arm had been sliced right off and lost among the other scrap metal; that was now the ship. HK let out the closest thing he could to a sigh, and used his right appendage to free himself of his bonds.HK banged T3-M4 on his dome head before climbing out of the cock-pit. He slid down the front of the ship sliding right through a fire and singing his bottom. HK landed on the ground and a cloud of red dust plumed into the air. HK locked onto Cemeron’s position. He laid in the dirt a few feet away from the ship, submerged in a mound of red earth. HK clanked over to his master and poked him with a metal finger. “Commentary: Master, are you still functional?” he asked without emotion.Cemeron saw the face of Chrystal, his wife. She was smiling widely; her large red lips reflecting the bright twin suns of Thustra. Cemeron knelt by her and caressed her right cheek. Her skin felt cool to his touch and he hungered to hold her in his arms. He smiled for the first time in a long time; it was good to be back home. He looked away from her beautiful face; to stare at the scenery around him. He was standing on a tall balcony overlooking a glistening lake and fields of green. It felt like he had not been back in many years, but it still felt of home.Chrystal rubbed against him, her body soft against his own. Her angelic voice broke the silence. “What worries you?” she asked.Cemeron shrugged. “Something just feels… wrong” he admitted.Suddenly he felt a horrid pain in his back, like someone shoved a metal pole into his spine. He cried out and his eyes flashed to Chrystal. “Commentary: Master, are you still functional?” she asked in the voice of HK-47.Cemeron’s eyes snapped open and he groaned. His body hurt all over, almost like the ship had fallen atop him. He could feel his warm blood gushing out of several areas of his body; wetting the dirt around him. He tried to push up with one of his arms but searing pain shot through him and he fell back down into the dirt. He turned his gaze to his arm and froze, his arm was twisted horribly and one of his bones stuck through his skin like a knife. Cemeron feared he was going to bleed to death, he called out, his voice hoarse from lack of use. “HK, yes I am alive. Go get the Med-kit before I bleed to death!” he groaned.Cemeron looked down to see his arms slashed apart all over, huge pieces of glass sticking out of his skin. He moaned and then felt like he was about to puke. Suddenly the air left his lungs as he was lifted off the ground. He looked down and realized that he was somehow levitating. He struggled and looked around for the source of what had just happened. All he could see was the world around him. It was strange and ghostlike. The sky, dirt and rock were all red. The clouds whizzed by at alarming speeds; changing into strange shapes and writhing about, the strangest part was that they were pitch black. There was no sun, only a strange black ball of energy that seemed to move around of its own accord.A distant speckle of blue light slowly approached. As it drew nearer, it seemed to appear the shape of a humanoid; it was hard to miss as it was a stark contrast to all the red and black. The figure seemed to be floating above the soil, and it winked in and out of existence. But suddenly it seemed to take solid shape and features. A massive man stood before Cemeron, his gloved hand outstretched as if he was holding Cemeron up with his own fist.The stranger wore an ancient set of golden, spiked armor that was crusted with the blood, of what Cemeron assumed were enemies. He wore a matching tall helmet type contraption that made him over eight feet tall. He was huge and built like a Wookie. The man had two dark brows and beneath them never-ending glowing red eyes. He wore a small oiled black beard and a menacing grin. He looked Manock-**** crazy. Cemeron could not look away from his eyes; those eyes; they seem to lead into another universe…he thought.The armored figure spoke his voice chilling Cemeron to the bone. It sounded ancient and full of dark power. “At last you have come… We have been waiting for you Cemeron, for some time...” he said ominously. Cemeron felt a strange tingling sensation throughout his body and his pain ebbed and finally dispersed, replaced by a faint itchy feeling. Cemeron dropped from the air landing on his knees; he instantly went into a fighting stance, ready for anything.“Where am I?” he asked.The powerful man replied. “All will be revealed in time,” he cackled. “time… what is time, really? It does not truly exist; just a simple concept, a delusion…” he trailed off.“Who are you?” Cemeron asked.“Ah yes. I am Naga Sadow. Welcome to the Shadow Realm, or commonly The Void” Naga said.Cemeron had known of Naga Sadow, he was credited as one of the most powerful Dark Lords ever. He bowed right away.“That is impossible you died long ago.” he said.Naga Sadow chuckled. “Yes I died once, as did we all. That is how we came to The Void. Except for you of course, you came through the Black Hole we created.” he said. Cemeron stood.“We?” he said.Naga Sadow nodded. “All of the greatest Dark Lords and other sith ended up in The Void. This place is within the Force itself. It is the embodiment of the Dark Side. When a sith becomes one with the Force it is here that they appear.”Cemeron could not believe what he was hearing: Is this really true… Could I be dreaming? Or dead? He thought bitterly, unable to accept this fate. Naga Sadow as if he head Cemeron’s thoughts shook his head. “No, you live. That is for sure. We need you Cemeron; you see, without you and our teaching, our ways will slowly die, consumed by the Jedi; the force would become horribly unbalanced. You are the only hope of our ancient ways. We must form you into the new Dark Lord; if all our deeds are to not be forgotten” he said.Cemeron shook his head. “There already is a Dark Lord. Darth Vith.” He said.Sadow nodded. “Yes, but you are the one we seek. If Vith stays in power than the Empire will continue to crumble until nothing is left. You must stop him, you must rekindle the Dark Side.” He said. Naga Sadow put a gloved hand on Cemeron’s shoulder.“Out of a galaxy of souls, it was you that had the greatest urging, the greatest hatred for the Jedi. We have never felt anything like you before. Your force powers are so immense, they rival even mine, but you can only access a smidgen of your full potential. You could become the greatest Dark Lord that ever lived, and you will. Now swear loyalty to me and the rest of the Dark Lords and you will take your first step toward your true destiny!” he said his voice rattling the ground beneath Cemeron.Cemeron knelt before Naga Sadow. “Yes master, I swear loyalty to and the Sith.” he said, his voice full of dark passion.“Good... Good! Now rise; from hence forth you will be known as...” Naga Sadow replied.Naga Sadow then closed his red orbs; revealing his black eyelids. He seemed to meditate for an instant before finishing. “Darth Void!” he said.Cemeron felt a burning above his brow as he felt strange symbols appearing on his face. Cemeron stood; I’m Darth Void now… he thought. He looked to Naga Sadow; who then put a hand on Cemeron’s brow. “Now we must go…” he said.There was a flash of turquoise light and they were gone from where they stood. HK-47 finally emerged from the ship and looked around awkwardly. “Annoyed observation: Master? Where are y--” suddenly he too disappeared, letting the medical-kit drop too the red sand…
  15. PrologueIt was strangely appropriate that Madness was born in a time of chaos. At the time he was born, the world was in turmoil.Here is a sampling of what had happened. China had reclaimed Hong Kong, which voiced its opinions on the matter very loudly. Err…The USSR had broken up some years ago, leaving Captain America depressed and suicidal. Oops.About half of the world had professed atheism, sapping the strength and powers of the Æsir–Vanir gods in Asgard. Ouch.But most important of all, For some reason, people decided to blame mutants for everything, causing them to be the bogeypeople. Even the other, non-mutant heroes did that. Oh dear.That didn’t really affect Madness’ life yet, anyway. However, the first obstacle he ever had in his life was surviving the first few hours of his life.You see, the government of his country also decided to jump the bandwagon and blame the mutants for every problem that they faced. Eventually, they implemented a policy that stated mutants were to be killed, regardless of age or ability. Either that or it was to join the army for life.There was a lot of opposition to this, of course, and people protested, but the people protested soon disappeared or changed their minds quickly.The hospital in which Madness was born was run by moderate thinking people who didn't like the new mutant policy. They believed that everyone was equal, so they did not kill any mutant babies and falsified records concerning them.When Madness was born, he didn't display any untoward unusual baby traits (although he did have a more than average large head). He didn't speak complete sentences or fly around. In fact, he was a peaceful, quiet baby.Or so it seemed.Mutations ran in the Walker family, and Madness was no exception. (His father could program anything, his mother could sing enchantingly) When he eventually started crawling, his parents were delighted and amazed and slightly bit puzzled when they found he could traverse walls and ceilings without any help.All was peachy in the family, but it was not to last.Here's the review topic.
  16. I have officially submitted my word count to the NaNoWriMo site, and it stands at 61,065 words. While this is short of my goal of approximately 80,000 words before the end of November, completion of this task and the first inklings of momentum in a long-distance writing ambition are reward enough. The novel at hand, which I consider concept art for a larger, more official canon, is entitled The Adventures of Mary. As this is an ongoing series, the working title for this particular installment is Pilot. I will continue to write into December, but for now I will fall back to reload and develop the concepts for the second batch of chapters. At present I am through with 12 chapters, and I covered an awful lot of stuff in each one, but this is only the tip of the iceberg. The great news is that I will be posting these chapters on a weekly basis, starting with the first Saturday of 2013. While it will be a while before the titular character, Mary, gets into the headlight, I encourage readers to stick around, because I wish to accomplish a big story that few web serials ever achieve. I have enough material and enough ideas for story that this will last for a while, and it will only get better as introduce a cast of characters that becomes more and more distinct over time. Also, look forward to the prologue, coming out on Christmas day! So if you're interested, keep an eye out for my blog, or the CoT Library should the current petition for one win official favor, and get yourself mentally prepared for a really, really long epic that will only improve. I will do everything within my creative power to see to it that this keeps you entertained, because this is all about you. 24601
  17. Wisconsin pays little heed to such things as 'continuity of climate'. I support this claim with the evidence of it being 55 on Thursday where I was, and 20 with three inches of snow on Friday. In the James Bond movies, Q is now essentially Otacon, only British and with (presumably) less love of anime. November novels are nice. Writing as you like without making it into a race and juggling it with college is nicer. Jiro Ishii gave Kyugo Shindo a deLorean and his daughter an orange jacket solely for the Back to the Future joke 9 hours into Time Travelers. I have unholy amounts of work due Wednesday and Friday. Also, speaking of Time Travelers, my Japanese reading comprehension is decent, but far far far lacking in the kanji department. Professor Layton vs. Ace Attorney comes out on Wednesday. I have been waiting for this game for two years. The custom unit in Fire Emblem: New Mystery of the Emblem is absurdly broken. I am probably going to need to do a lot of said work early if I want to actually play Professor Layton vs. Ace Attorney on Wednesday. When both my mom and I are reading the same book, it's easiest for everyone involved to just turn it over to her and let her completely finish it, because she reads faster than any human should. I'm still waiting on feedback from those folks who offered to give that story of mine a look, so if you're reading this... sometime soon-ish? I know it needs work, I just want some other eyes to help me figure out where. So, how was your Thanksgiving?
  18. Recently I have discovered this delightful little website called I Write Like. You basically paste an excerpt of your writing - blog posts, journey entries, comments, chapters of novels, short stories, poems, whatever - and the website tells you which famous writer you write like. The best part about this website is that you can do it over and over again, having it analyze excerpts of your writing from different stories. This I did and got different results almost every time. Here's the full list, with certain names bolded for emphasis: J. K. Rowling Dan Brown William Shakespeare Margaret Mitchell Kurt Vonnegut James Joyce Edgar Allen Poe James Fenimore Cooper Arthur Clarke Harry Harrison Douglas Adams George Orwell David Foster Wallace L. Frank Baum Rudyard Kipling Neil Gaiman H. P. Lovecraft I always knew J. K. Rowling had an influence on my writing style (whenever anyone asks who I write like, I tend to say Rowling). But Shakespeare? Joyce? And a bunch of other writers, most of whom I have heard about but never read? I'm thinking I channel the spirit of a different famous writer every time I sit down to write a story. How else can I be Shakespeare in one story and Joyce in another? Or Dan Brown and J. K. Rowling in the same story (Dimension Hoppers, for those of you who are curious)? Go on and try the website. Tell me what famous writers you write like in the comments below. -TNTOS-
  19. Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans. I'm going to spend the day with my family, eating turkey, ham, and pumpkin pie, as usual. Won't be eating until later in the day, though, because my oldest brother doesn't get off work until later in the afternoon, but I can wait for turkey and ham (I think ). Also, for those of you who care, today I successfully hit the 50k mark on my NaNo novel/fanfic, Dawn of the New Century. So I won for the fifth year running, which doesn't surprise me because I know how much I can write in an hour. The fic isn't finished yet, however, and will probably reach 60k or 70k before the month is over. I expect to continue writing it until early December. I've recently started rereading through my first comedy, My Bionicle Road Trip. It's not very good at all, with at least a dozen storytelling and writing mistakes per chapter, but I'm feeling the nostalgia overwhelm me as I read it. It's amazing how much of it I still remember. I find myself going "I remember that!" in almost every chapter. It's just fun to read with all of its errors and problems, reminding me of just how far I have come since my early days. -TNTOS-
  20. So, hypothetically, if I had a 20k word story sitting completed save revision, would it be better posted as a short epic than as a very long short story? And hypothetically if I made it an epic, would ~7k long chapters work, do you think? Purely hypothetical question, you understand. Also: If I hypothetically wanted someone to read over this hypothetical story to give some feedback, would anyone be interested? Alright, I've got three pairs of eyes on this from this blog entry alone, so I think I'm good for the moment.
  21. Kakaru

    Ask the Ambage

    Per popular request of the Ambage, we tried to create a script-comedy live in one of our skype sessions. Editing fell to me (I hate you guys) and here's the result. This will hopefully be the last of it's kind, so don't expect guest stars or even a second chapter.So here it is, a legendary event in BZPower's history: The epic writers of today harken back to their ancient days of "ask" studio comedies in a fit of nostalgia-fueled bad judgement! Critics are spread wide on this heavily controversial topic: --- [6:15:26 PM] Kakaru: HI GUYS THIS IS THE "ASK THE AMBAGE" SHOW, WHERE BZPOWER'S MOST PROLIFIC WRITERS ARE STUFFED IN A LITTLE ROOM UNTIL THEY DISCUSS BANNED MEMBERS AND OTHER HORRORS UNEARTHED FROM THE DARK CORNERS OF BZPOWER.[6:15:41 PM] Kakaru: SOUND OFF, WHO'S HERE TONIGHT.[6:15:43 PM] Zarayna: XDXDXD[6:15:50 PM] Kakaru: ZAR![6:16:13 PM] Zarayna: Zar is Nick and Nick is Zar, but Zar is not Nick and Nick is not Zar.[6:15:52 PM] Nick Silverpen: APPROVED.[6:15:55 PM] Kakaru: AND NICK![6:15:54 PM] Aderia: Not me. I'm busy having a lif.[6:16:00 PM] Kakaru: AND ADERIA IS BUSY.[6:16:11 PM] Kakaru: HAVING A LIF.[6:16:23 PM] Kakaru: UNDOUBTEDLY STOLEN FROM OUR WARHOUS.[6:16:48 PM] Kakaru: SPECIAL GUESTS INCLUDE THE NIGH TUGYS![6:17:00 PM] Kakaru: AND GROCHI, THE RESIDENT EVIL![6:17:06 PM] Zarayna: Well, Kakaru, from my latest statement, people might be thinking we're going a little insane here. What's your thoughts?[6:17:18 PM] Aderia: Were you here when I used "meese" as the plural of "moose"?[6:17:20 PM] Kakaru: I'M RUNNING THIS SHOW DARNIT.[6:18:00 PM] Zarayna: This is an ask comedy, and I asked you a question. Is it not your purpose to answer?[6:17:28 PM] Kal Grochi: I'm not the resident evil.[6:17:37 PM] Kakaru: Shh yes you are.[6:17:35 PM] Kal Grochi: I'm the resident wild card.[6:17:41 PM] Kal Grochi: The resident evil is probably Ced.[6:18:04 PM] Kakaru: CEDERAK IS NOT HERE.[6:17:55 PM] Kal Grochi: Maybe somebody else.[6:17:57 PM] Kal Grochi: Aderia, is it you?[6:18:11 PM] Kakaru: RRGH[6:18:13 PM] Aderia: He's like a strawberry biscuit, Grochi. You're just jealous.[6:18:14 PM] Kal Grochi: Like -that- ever happens.[6:18:19 PM] Kakaru: TWELVE SECONDS IN AND WE'RE ALREADY DERAILED.[6:18:32 PM] Kal Grochi: I love you guys. --- [6:24:02 PM] Kakaru: Okay, let's get this boat sunk.[6:24:04 PM] Kakaru: HI GUYS THIS IS THE "ASK THE AMBAGE" SHOW, WHERE BZPOWER'S MOST PROLIFIC WRITERS ARE TAUGHT NECROMANCY UNTIL ALL REMNANTS OF PRETENTIOUS NOTIONS OF GOOD WRITING ARE PURGED FROM THEIR MINDS AND THEY DIE.[6:24:11 PM] Kakaru: WHO'S HERE WITH US.[6:24:30 PM] Zarayna: Well, Kakaru, there appears to be a Zar present.[6:24:44 PM] Zarayna: Where do the others hide themselves?[6:24:58 PM] Kakaru: In our warhous.[6:24:52 PM] Aderia: In bunkers with skylights.[6:25:02 PM] Kakaru: Shh Aderia.[6:25:06 PM] Kakaru: Go back to the warhous.[6:25:05 PM] Zarayna: But we're already stuck in one bunker.[6:25:10 PM] Zarayna: Who wants to be in another?[6:25:20 PM] Kakaru: Is that a legitimate question?[6:25:27 PM] Kakaru: You know the cameras are rolling, right?[6:25:30 PM] Zarayna: Yes it is. Count your blessings I say![6:25:47 PM] Zarayna hits his head against the ceiling.[6:25:57 PM] Kakaru: Darnit Zar, stoppit.[6:26:06 PM] Zarayna: If you can't pass five, I think you can still list them all.[6:26:11 PM] Zarayna rubs his head.[6:26:14 PM] Kakaru: Our ceiling isn't covered by overhead costs.[6:26:31 PM] Kakaru: *rimshot*[6:26:36 PM] Kakaru: Get it?[6:26:42 PM] Zarayna: Yes, I noticed. At least it is better than the damage of Grochi's headbutting?[6:27:05 PM] Kakaru: Er, that's technically not covered by our insurance either...[6:27:10 PM] Kal Grochi: I only headbutt people.[6:27:13 PM] Kal Grochi: Not ceilings.[6:27:22 PM] Aderia: And play harmonica over voice chat.[6:27:19 PM] Kakaru: Hi Grochi also.[6:27:23 PM] Kakaru: Back in the box with you.[6:27:31 PM] Kakaru: Aderia no[6:27:32 PM] Kakaru: Back[6:27:32 PM] Zarayna: And it is detrimental to stomachs, not to mention life.[6:27:35 PM] Kal Grochi: I've been on the chat numerous times without doing tha-[6:27:39 PM] Kakaru: Shh Grochi.[6:27:38 PM] Kal Grochi: NO NOT THE BOX[6:27:40 PM] Kakaru: BACK[6:27:42 PM] Kakaru: BACK[6:27:43 PM] Zarayna: I think out insurance plan needs to be changed.[6:27:47 PM] Kal Grochi: Why do I have to be put in the box?[6:27:51 PM] Kakaru: NO[6:27:55 PM] Kakaru: THE CAMERAS GROCHI[6:28:02 PM] Kakaru: YOU ARE ON CAMERA[6:28:06 PM] Kal Grochi: Wait, camera—Oh.[6:28:00 PM] Aderia: Come on, Grochi. We're not appreciated here.[6:28:10 PM] Kal Grochi jumps back into the box.[6:28:13 PM] Kakaru: Shoosh.[6:28:15 PM] Kakaru: Okay no wait.[6:28:18 PM] Kakaru: Don't go forever.[6:28:30 PM] Kakaru: We need people to send questions in to Zar.[6:28:44 PM] Zarayna: Aren't you questioning me?[6:29:01 PM] Kakaru: I don't know, you seem to have a lot of questions of your own here.[6:28:17 PM] Zarayna: So Kakaru, we're in yet another boring day in this bunker. How do you rate the air today? I think it's a little less breathable. Why is that?[6:28:39 PM] Kakaru: Er, the air is uh[6:28:47 PM] Kakaru: poisoned.[6:28:52 PM] Zarayna: Right.[6:28:57 PM] Zarayna: Explains the good smell.[6:29:10 PM] Zarayna: At least death doesn't hurt too much.[6:29:09 PM] Kakaru: And yeah, arsenic smells like almonds.[6:29:15 PM] Kakaru: Not that I'd know.[6:29:17 PM] Kakaru: heh heh[6:29:22 PM] Aderia: How is that comedic?[6:29:29 PM] Zarayna: Kakaru, is there something you're not telling us?[6:29:35 PM] Kakaru: Dark humour is what all the cool kids are into.[6:29:47 PM] Aderia: Because BZP is so full of those.[6:29:17 PM] Zarayna: I guess I like turning the tables.[6:29:47 PM] Zarayna: Aderia, have you ever seen Zar trying to turn a table?[6:29:59 PM] Zarayna: He can carry them around, but he's never tried turning them.[6:30:15 PM] Zarayna: I understand after the first tries his spiked mace comes out.[6:30:21 PM] Nick Silverpen: Hey is anyone besides Aderia and me doing the write off?[6:30:30 PM] Kakaru: Woah hi Nick again.[6:30:36 PM] Nick Silerpen: Hey Kakaru.[6:30:36 PM] Kakaru: (someone close the studio doors!)[6:30:49 PM] Kakaru: (and the box lid!)[6:30:48 PM] Aderia: Eli! he forgot to close them on his way out![6:30:48 PM] Zarayna: Good lord brothers, let us write![6:30:54 PM] Aderia: Somebody kickban him.[6:31:13 PM] Kakaru: kickban Zar[6:31:17 PM] Kakaru: no wait shoot[6:31:18 PM] Zarayna: Comedy chapter one done.[6:31:20 PM] Zarayna: (Cut!)[6:31:31 PM] Kakaru: That could have gone worse.[6:31:46 PM] Kakaru: NOW THE AFTERPARTY[6:31:50 PM] Aderia: TASTE THE RAINBOW[6:31:53 PM] Kakaru: I HAVE PRETZELS[6:32:02 PM] Aderia: (skittles, anyone?)[6:32:04 PM] Zarayna: I have a ketboard.[6:32:06 PM] Zarayna: Let's write.[6:32:10 PM] Aderia: dude[6:32:13 PM] Aderia: i want a ket board[6:32:16 PM] Kakaru: Ketboards for lif.[6:32:22 PM] Aderia: Gotta be better than a clatterboard.[6:32:27 PM] Kakaru: hahahaha[6:32:38 PM] Kakaru: What are you saying about my presence in voice chats.[6:32:34 PM] Zarayna: ...[6:34:43 PM] Zarayna: Chapter one is 774 words![6:34:48 PM] Zarayna: THIS COMEDY ROCKS[6:35:29 PM] Kal Grochi: (Can I come out yet?)[6:35:31 PM] Aderia: ELI![6:35:41 PM] Aderia: You missed the afterparty.After editing, 1143 words. Zar is a liar and a vagabond.
  22. no NO NONONO YOU ARE NOT A POEMER WHY ARE YOU POEMING YOU ARE BAD WITH WORDS The blinding gleam of a world revealed A nation fallen, a people healed Canisters open, revealing their worth Tired feet breaking the surf A band of heroes together once more The ache of the journey, bloody and sore A ring of stones, powers combined To sacrifice duty for destiny's time The elders stand in the light of the isle The mountains and trees stretching for miles Matoran step out of their pods, unaware of the danger befallen a city down there Memories gone, a life come anew Village-huts from the ground; black, green and blue Circuits forsaken for the peace of the earth Ignorance, bliss, as evidenced by their mirth Yes, a life comes anew as the old city falls But a shadow murmurs in underground halls Peace cannot stand in the force of a gale The Makuta will rise to destroy and to kill
  23. Kakaru

    NECROMANCY DAY

    Official library topic for the worst of the worst. I'm necromancing my old writing, feel free to follow suit in your own blogs... IF YOU DARE Oh right fair warning, these all link to the archives, so it will log you out when you come back. Dark Lands (epic) Matau's Talk Show! (Remember when those were cool?) Inika Go To Wal-mart (shut up)
  24. SO YEAH I GUESS I HAVE LIKE 240 POINTS OR SOMETHING SINCE I DID SEVERAL OF THESE MORE THAN ONCE NOT THAT IT MATTERS BUT I SUPPOSE THAT I SHOULD LOG THESE SINCE I'M A SLIGHTLY MORE INVOLVED AMBAGE MEMBER NOW Into the Sky(pe)! - Participate in a Skype Write Off (5 Points) Home Row Heavyweight - Finish a write off story with over 600 words. (15 Points) Manuscript Kiddie Pool - Post a short story. (10 Points) The Daunting Task - Post an epic. (15 Points) Not For the Faint of Heart - Write a substantial adventure. (10 Points) It's Close to Midnight… - Write a substantial thriller. (10 Points) Wrote one. 115 Do. Or do Not. There is No Try - Write a substantial sci-fi story. (10 Points) Vague Subject Matter - Post a story in Completely Off Topic. (10 Points) Here Lies Punctuation - Find at least 10 grammar/spelling errors in a story. (5 Points) Critical Thinking - Substantially review a short story. (10 Points) A Lovely Contestant - Participate in an official BZP Writing contest. (10 Points) Challenge Accepted - Enter an Ambage-hosted contest. (10 Points) I Don't do This for Free - Make Andrew beg you to write a story for him. (20 Points) Worth A Thousand Words - Create a piece of art for an Ambage project. (10 Points) No Rules! No Rules! - Fail to log your achievements for confirmation. (10 points) Dude, Where's My Anthology? - Take charge. (50 points) Troublemaker - Get banned from the Skype writeoff group five times. (20 points) Accredited - Use a conversation from the Ambage to write a college-level discourse. (30 points) Green and Purple - The official chat sucks anyways. (10 points) Salted Watermelon - Join the Ambage. (10 points) Before It Was Cool - Transfer membership to the Ambage from the BAG or other previous BZPower critics club. (20 points) An Cool Dude - Revise your story to make it BZPower-appropriate. (10 points) Cheating the System - Make your own achievement. (10 points) Can't Stop Me Now - Create over ten custom achievements. (20 points) Death Row - Get banned from the Skype Writeoff Group Indefinitely. (100 points) Saturday Night Massacre - Ban at least three Ambage members from the Skype chat in one night. (100 points) Come On Come On Hit Me - Ask to be banned. (20 points) Never Dead - Come back after being banned forever. (20 points)
  25. The little being opened its eyes slowly. It knew that it had eyes, and it knew where it was, and it knew what it was. I am a Tohunga, it thought. With trembling arms it pushed itself to sit up. Across from it, three cloaked beings watched intently. Its eyes focused and refocused, photoreceptors of metal shooting electricity back through tissue and wire alike to its central processor. The first of the three spoke not unkindly. "Please identify yourself." The little Tohunga's voice was shaky and uneven. "Tohunga unit #0001." In its throat, sensors collected data on the acoustics of its voice and silently tightened and loosened muscle to eliminate the unwanted vibration. The second of the three spoke hesitantly. "Please locate yourself." It responded more clearly this time. "I am at the staging area for project #4D4154414E5549." The third watched him silently for a moment longer than his compatriots, and then spoke simply. "Please name yourself." The other two beings turned in shock to their compatriot and began talking at once in hushed tones. The Tohunga paid them no heed - its central processor was overclocking itself, desperately searching its memory for a 'name'. Name. Locate name, it thought desperately. Name, name, name... no record. No record! I don't know! The third being showed no response to his companions' voices as he watched the Tohunga. It opened its mouth desperately to apologize, to explain, to excuse itself- "Takua," he blurted out. The squabbling voices fell silent. The third being seemed to consider it for a moment, then strode forward. Takua looked down nervously. The being put his hand atop the Tohunga's mask. "Takua," he said, satisfied, and drew a metallic finger along the top of the mask affectionately. "That's a good name, don't you think?" Behind him, his companions had begun to mutter amongst themselves. Takua looked up at the mask peering down at him and saw its seemingly painted-on lines reforming themselves into a smile. And Takua smiled back. -------------------------------------- So yeah. This is just a little prelude scene I wrote up based on the epic I'm off-and-on working on. A good chunk of it has to do with the days of Mata Nui's construction, so it felt somehow appropriate to use "Tohunga" instead of "Matoran". As an aside, the description I used here for the Great Beings was inspired by the art of an artist who I don't believe posts on BZP by the name of CalaveraUllapool. This is more of a flash fic than anything else, so I doubt I'll post it on its own in the library. Perhaps if some other one-off scenes come to mind I'll gather them together though as a sort of prologue to the epic itself. In any event, comments/critique are appreciated as always.
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