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Review Topic for this. Constructive criticism: encouraged.
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⁂ -----This is the review topic for Rise of the Rookies. All questions and comments go here instead of the main topic - it's less cluttered that way. PrologueChapter OneChapter TwoChapter ThreeChapter FourChapter Five
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Legion of Legends Review Topic Legion of legends is a story taking place some time in the middle of Teridax's dictatorship. It follows the Toa Mahri's adventure and rebellion through the Makutaverse. Please keep in mind that I don't know the story of Teridax's dictatorship very well and have only read a couple of the serials, so this story will most likely not be very accurate or be close to the original at all. I don't know what I plan to do with this epic, and might not even continue it. C&C?
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So yeah, this is the review topic for "The Book of Notch - Chapter by Chapter" Sorry if it's a bit biblical though. It's be nice if you guys tell me how it is and I'll try to improve it. C&C appreciated
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The review topic for my epic, The Legends of Atara Nui I suppose this is as good a place as any to explain this, so here goes: The general premise of this epic is essentially set on a heavily altered Mata Nui, with different Matoran elements, principles, environments and characters. Please, do tell me what you think.
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here is the place to discuss my epic storyline bionicle the new blood http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=11201&hl
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While investigating the murders of Tren Krom and Karzahni, Pohatu and Kopaka get teleported to the Red Star, where they make a disturbing discovery... Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 In this topic you may discuss the newest chapters of The Powers That Be, written by the Storyline Team of SM.com. Story topic here. Latest News: 10/31/2013 - The Powers That Be Chapter 5 re-released on BZPower! 10/09/2013 - The Powers That Be Chapter 5 released on BZPower! 10/07/2013 - The Powers That Be Chapter 5 released on SM.com!
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Discuss my story here! C'mon folks, you know what to do.
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Project Girard Review Topic Project Girard is actually a comic I'm writing and illustrating, but as with another comic called Bad Vibes (which I'm still writing and gnashing my teeth over), I'm writing it in a prose format to sort out the details of the world and story more easily. I need the criticism and the discussion, since that is my ego-fuel. Description: The Story starts here.
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The Story It's been a while. And this story has been in development longer than that while, and it's finally done. Yayz! Party! This epic is entirely prewritten, and is not part of a series, past, present, or future. Okay, if I get a bunch of fans clamoring for a sequel or some insanity like that I might do it, but the last time I did that the results were chopped up by a six-month downtime and read by no one. I am not eager to repeat the experience. This will be released on a reasonable basis (weekly, unless I feel I need to accelerate) and will reach an end, with all the loose ends tied up. It will also have 16 chapters. And all comments, suggestions, notations, mathematical equations, theories (yeah, like I'm going to get theories ), long-winded critical reviews, short-winded critical reviews, blatant complaints about how bad my writing is, likes/dislikes, and anything else you may have to say for whatever reason is welcome. Mega-bonus points, cookies, and cheese will be handed out freely. Go forth!
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You've waited too long for this one. Theme: What Really Matters. More specifically, what really matters is friendship. Also, what you do when life is bad. Do you try to fix it (Mata Nui), hope to escape (Kiina), or give in to despair? (Ackar, and by extension, most of the people on BM, except for the villains) I'm not going to list all the reactions, but you get the idea. Main Character: Mata NuiSecondary Major Character: Ackar. As per usual, he embodies the lack of understanding of What Really Matters, which Mata Nui has to show him. * * *OpeningThe first shot we get out of this movie is a volcano. Anyone remember the volcano in Journey's End where Mata Nui found the knowledge he needed? That undone last trilogy movie might have begun with a shot of just that volcano. (Well, it might have been Ihu, but it's still a mountain. Counts.)Also, mega bonus points to the landscape rendering guys here. We get a beach, then a mountain, then an aerial viewpoint, almost as if we were flying away. Which Mata Nui does shortly thereafter. Nice homage. Further, the destruction of the mountain represents the destruction of knowledge. Mata Nui DescendingFirst off, Mata Nui has just lost half his memory and is in pretty bad shape. It is also clear from the opening voiceover that this movie, especially the opening, is from Mata Nui's perspective. So if you had not been paying attention to your insides for the past 97,000 years or so, you probably wouldn't have a very good grasp on what they looked like. Or how your camoflage system works. Viewed from Mata Nui's perspective, the opening makes sense. And contenuing the age-old tradition of falls at the beginning of Bionicle movies, behold Mata Nui's metaphorical (and literal) fall, with Makuta, the epitome of Me, Myself, and I All Alone because I Am Just Awesome Like That looking on. But there's no excuse for the way the robot stood up here. While Mata Nui might view his standing up with more grace, the cheap CGI is an insult to the Makuta, who can't seem to stand up properly. Which is realism. Arrival on Bara MagnaFirst off, we must estabilish that Bara Magna hates people. It's pretty ticked at Mata Nui for crashing into it and leaving a giant crater. (It's almost as if Mata Nui is trying to assert his status by making a huge crater and Bara Magna is just like "you are worthy of bugs.")The first emissary it sends to attack Mata Nui is a bug. The Mask of Life reacts by giving Mata Nui a body. It also probably modified Click's mind to make him more friendly to this guy that showed up. After all, Click was the Scarabax who touched the mask. The Mask might have also given him some intel on what was going on next: the bug isn't surprised or anything. He actually yawns. Also explains why Click goes for the Mask again - probably looking for information, but got turned into a sheild instead. The Ignika has no morals, but it's Mata Nui's friend. Then Bara Magna decides that was too weak, so the next up is a Vorox. The Mask of Life reacts by giving Mata Nui a sheild, and he lives. Then we see a sapient lifeform next. It's no wonder Mata Nui expects an attack - this planet is hostile. You will also see an odd bonelike structure in the background to the crater as Mata Nui comes in. I wouldn't put it past this movie for it to be a carcass of a biomechanical dino that the Scarabax were eating. Realism here. Metus --> An Arena Match"What happened here?""I would say it was-""Evil.""I was going to say earthquake, maybe volcanic eruption, but evil works."Metus is evil. Evil works? It does, huh Metus. It also gets you turned into a snake. In further case, Metus is a slimy smooth talker with questionable morals from the beginning. Traitor? No surprise. Also, if you get attacked by bugs and beasts upon going somewhere, pretty sure that place does not have your better interests at heart. Also, the Arena Match system is actually not very rewarding to the warriors after awhile. That's because the amount of disputes never ends, so you keep on fighting. And because resources are limited on Bara Magna, you're fighting for the same old stuff over and over again. I imagine that would get old fast. If the metaphorical fall of Mata Nui wasn't enough, we also get a literal fall of Mata Nui into the arena. This is a Bionicle movie, dagnabbit. Characters fall in those things. And Raanu and Metus, also people who don't know the theme look on, and the secondary major character is involved, as usual. Further, Mata Nui's mention of Toa is a Mask of Light homage. Not to mention the drop in the fiery pit. And just to show how messed up this world is, the ice people are nasty here and the fire people win. The water people are insulted in this movie too. Sometimes I like to view this movie as the opposite of MoL. The Mata Nui saga was all about preserving a place that was a cool paradise from an enemy - Makuta, whereas this one is a restoration of a wasteland. Takua was a lowly irresponsible Matoran who learned to use the Mask of Light at the end; Mata Nui already has the scmancy mask at the beginning of the his film, and he's lost most of his heroic glory. And once again, the Ignika proves to be Mata Nui's friend. Ackar's homeThe spinning rims: I got to address this, because in this scene it's real noticable. While the Agori may be organic, they do have Great Being implants to asist them. They're machines, and machines usually have status indicators to indicate orperation. An Agori would want to know if his implant broke down immediately, so that he could fix it. I think the spinning rims serve as that status indicator. They might have had caps at one point, but those were obiviously lost over 100,000 years. And Mata Nui's body should blend in with that - and besides, he's biomechanical anyway. I also get to reexamine the "Woohoo!" Line. It appears that Kiina made some comments about Mata Nui winning her bets. Also, she goes into a dance right after the infamous line, which might have annoyed some people more than the line itself. The other thing is that the scene is realistic - after that emotional rush, Kiina stumbles awkwardly about and even makes logical errors: "Don't even think about pulling a fast one because you're my ticket out of here." That's illogical, because if he does pull a fast one he is not a reliable ticket to anywhere. However, it's consistant with someone who is emotionally rattled. Canyon Fight to Tajun LabNotice that Ackar only does one flip in this fight. Nobody else does flips in the course of the flim, and I'm of the opinion that the ability comes from years of training and skill, not agility. I've practiced martial arts, and I've seen guys who are older than me do those types of flips, although a bit smaller. I can't do that to save my life, even though I'm normally young and agile. It takes a certain amount of physical dexterity, but I'm not sure that diminishes with age. I also blame Great Being implant enhancements for additional strength. If these enhancements were that good, it would make sense that the enemies would attack that stuff first. That would explain the "Berix repairs Gresh" scene. Further, nothing says Berix didn't have the Agori equivelent of a first-aid kit for organic damage. Although there must not have been too much, as Gresh is up and at 'em in the next scene. The sand surfing scene is hard to justify, but let's put it this way. The Mask of Life can give whatever powers it wants to whomever it wants. So I think it might have been nice to Mata Nui and given him enhanced senses, including a good sense of timing and balence. This might have been to compensate - Mata Nui would likely be used to the detail of giant robot sensors, so this would be to make the whole thing more habitable. This could include enough sensory detail to identify weak points in rock or blast Bone Hunters with such accuracy. I think the yellow flash there didn't bring down that gorge; I think it was to repair Mata Nui's blade from the damage of plunging into solid rock. I could also say that the Mask gave Mata Nui the ability to shoot pure energy, but I think that is a bit much, as yellow always indicates the Mask's usage here. A sensory boost would also explain why Mata Nui could detect the Bone Hunters' presence before the others did, how he detected the lack of elemental powers in the Glatorian, etc. Also, Mata Nui might have had access to the Mask of Life's knowledge here, and Toa Ignika did ride a skyboard back in 2008. It might also have helped Mata Nui recognize the UDD. So I generally find the complaints about Mata Nui being too smart to be a little unfounded. I have to give points - the Tajun fight actually makes the Bone Hunters seem like a real threat. They surround Kiina and Ackar, and it takes Mata Nui's gun blasts to save them. They are enough of a problem that Mata Nui decides to do a one-on-one fight instead of confront them all. So they aren't whistling Dixie. Ackar makes a point of pointing out how inexprienced Mata Nui is by knocking him over and knocking Click off his back. And for the record, any time we visit the water people's home, things get destroyed. Remember the Great Temple destruction in WoS? Further, it's water people's village that gets destroyed, as opposed to the fire guy's village. Reverse MoL. Also, why do all the water people have all the knowledge and valuable items, whether it be the Great Temple or the Tajun lab?Reading the Bionicle letters on the wall is "Lego" "Bionicle" and "Secret Lab". Nothing interesting there, kids. Move along. TesaraTesara is a ball joint, socket, and two technic pins standing up in the air. Covered in mud and vine-webs. This is what happens when the Great Beings don't play with their Lego. Also foreshadowing. Then we get another MoL inversion. The guy who gets the power is actually the old responsible guy. Jaller, er, Ackar. And remember Takua's "I am Takanuva." moment where he shoots light energy at stuff. In Ackar's case, behold this awesome pillar of fire. It's also a nice twist on the theme - first off that Ackar isn't giving up like he was before, and second, that what really matters is that I have a friend who saved my tail in the arena and gave me awesome powers LIKE THIS. And that is worth a whole lot more than pointless arena matches, so be quiet. It's a message. Also, Mata Nui was standing on one of the "Technic pins" when the villages were put together. Probably the shorter one on the right. Tuma vs. Mata NuiFor all the bluster about Tuma being too easy, remember what I said earilier about GB implants? It's only inevitable that one would fail after 100,000 years. Do you expect THE MIGHTY TUMA to admit that his implants failed and that he needs medical? I don't. Weakness looks bad. "Arrogance can topple giants. Trust me, I know." It's a shame Makuta can't hear this. Meet the Real MetusFirst off, angry animals are a force to be reckoned with. Second, I doubt the Bone Hunters treated their steeds with TLC. So I can imagine that one would be ticked enough to kick over a bunch of them. The fact that Berix happened to be riding it, and that last move with the sheild can be attributed to dumb luck. It happens. (However, if I was writing the story Berix would end up captured again, and I would totally use that as sequel bait. I'm allowed to say that because this movie takes place in 2009. ) Although Berix does get buried in rock, so his luck does run out. Also, I find it ironic that Metus was busted by Vorox in the end. It puts a whole new spin on the beginning of the film - perhaps Metus was out Vorox hunting ahen he found Mata Nui? Or better yet, the Vorox decided to take Mata Nui's side once they saw he was against the Skrall? Mata Nui even turns enemies into friends here!Sadly, that magic doesn't work on the Skrall, Bone Hunters, and Metus. Well, it doesn't work on Metus. So it's time for the old fashioned magic mask. That will put a dent in your profit margins. And the old fashioned Power of Unity. Which always works. This is a Bionicle movie, in case you missed the UDD in the sky and the falls at the beginning. So there.Previous Random Movie Insights (Don't Post in them, they are long past revival):Mask of LightLegends of Metru NuiWeb of Shadows
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Presentation From the design of the box to the instruction manual, these are the first things you see before building the set. Here we have a plastic baggie, much like the new HF ones, only much, much smaller. On the front we have a character drawing of Lizaru in the center, with a preview at the parts below. To the bottom right we can see that it's a booster pack for one of the newer Ninjago spinners. And how could we forget the Ninjago and LEGO logos? On the back, we have advertisements for other booster packs, how this booster pack is to be used (don't swallow the bricks kids!), and the legal information. This bag is a little entertaining, but it is very cluttered. Building Half the fun is had building the set. How fun is it to build and how easy or challenging is it? There really isn't much to say here, you build the minifigure and his accesories, then you're done. They are pretty cool though. I really love that golden ax. Set Design Now that the set is complete, we can critique how it looks from every angle. New or interesting pieces can also be examined here. There isn't much design to the set, but it's a set none the less. The Lizaru minifigure is really nicely done. The printing is continued on almost every side of the body, the frond being my favorite (look at that scar!). The scaly look carries over him very nicely. The only bad thing about the figure is the head. It has NO articulation at all. But the eyes and printing somewhat make up for it, however. The only really interesting thing that I found were the trans-light green snake things. They don't really do much, but they look pretty cool. Playability The other half of the fun is in playing with the set. How well does the set function and is it enjoyable to play with? You all probably know how to play with a minifigure, but for those who don't, you grasp it between two fingers and make it hop up and down (to imitate walking) and add in the dialogue. In this case, you pick up the minifigure with his golden ax, and (in the most snake-like voice you can imagine) say something like "imma gonna kill you wit mah golden ax!!!" Final Thoughts Once it's all said and done, how does the set stack up? Should I get it? Pros What's to like? Lizaru!Golden Ax!Trans-light-green snake-things! Cons What's not to like? Not much articulationNot much you can do with the spinner accesories if you don't have a spinner. All in all, pretty good minifigure, pretty good parts, pretty good set.
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The small images link to bigger ones FYI. Presentation From the design of the box to the instruction manual, these are the first things you see before building the set. So, the box… The thing you first see when you buy a LEGO set… On the front, we have Finn McMissile parked on a walkway, with all of his gadgets deployed (why? I don’t know.) and shooting his flick-fire missile at something that was clearly photoshopped out of its path. All the trademarks and logos (Cars, Disney, and LEGO) are in their correct places, along with a character shot from the movie in the bottom-left corner. On the back, we have something that I haven’t seen since I played with Duplo. The inventory is on the back of the box, with pictures of the set, and more logos. Building Half the fun is had building the set. How fun is it to build and how easy or challenging is it? The build is straightforward and relatively simple. You build the frame, and add the facial shells. You then get to build and attach all of his fancy gadgets including a satellite dish (I don’t know where that came from), a sub-machine gun, 1x1 light-grey stud with a camera lens printed onto it, 1x2 trans light-green computer screen thing, and a flick-fire missile. Set Design Now that the set is complete, we can critique how it looks from every angle. New or interesting pieces can also be examined here. The set altogether is a nice buy for $7. You get a nice amount of baby-blue/light-blue pieces alongside the emotional car-shells. You also get a car that normally only appears in other sets, but you have all of the extra accessories which kind of ruin the design aesthetically. Sure, you can remove them, but you’ll still be stuck without a 1x1 light-blue piece and have two c-joints sticking out. The back is probably one of the bad points about it; there’s nothing eye-popping there except for a rear window, and that isn’t really that eye-popping. A license plate sticker would’ve done well back there; also the arches aren’t flush with the back of the shell. The front is better, but the extra studs are a little distracting and subtract from the screen-accuracy. There is a way to remedy the screen-accuracy problem, however. You can replace the SNOT plates and c-joints with light blue 1x4 and 1x1 bricks, exchange the camera-stud for another clear stud, and move the 1x2 and 1x1 smooth plates to the front to create a very smooth and movie accurate design. The interesting pieces here are the car-shells, wheels and tires, the camera stud, and the trans-green 90-degree plate. I don’t see much usefulness in the parts, but they’re pretty cool. Playability The other half of the fun is in playing with the set. How well does the set function and is it enjoyable to play with? It’s a car. You’re supposed to roll it. It rolls very smoothly, as low to the ground as it is. In all seriousness, I could roll it around all day. The flick-fire missile is a little too gimmicky for me, though. Final Thoughts Once it's all said and done, how does the set stack up? Should I get it? Pros What's to like? Finn McMissileLots of light-blue piecesThe expression is awesomeRolls smoothly Cons What's not to like? Not very screen-accurateNot many new partsWhy isn’t it light-blue all of the way through?Lack of detail I believe that this is a really good set to have; it spares you some cash if you’re only looking to pick up a Finn McMissile car, it’s good for role-playing, look at that expression (he almost looks cocky), but it isn’t exactly screen-accurate.
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Here is the review topic for Oklan. Comments and critisism encouraged.
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Hi all Feel free to offer criticisms for my book, things you liked, things you didn't like, and where you would like me to take the story. Cheers PKP
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Here is where you can comment and criticize constructively on The Bionicle Comics Narration. To start things off, I realized that Kopaka never told Matoro his name, so I just worked it into the part where Matoro is telling Kopaka about the Toa. I kept wanting to go into first-person present-tense. I kept it third-person past-tense, though. Do you think I should switch? Looking forward to hearing what you all say!
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A place for criticism and analysis of my epic, Shadow destiny If you have not read it, here is the link: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=10088&do=findComment&comment=563801
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Hi guys, reviews for Matoran? Or Monster go here. STORY TOPIC
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Well this is the review topic for Tale of a Traitor.
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This is the review topic for A Warrior's Tale.
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This is the review topic for my 3 part epic. Link: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=9067
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So here's the review topic for The Alternate Metru. So tell me what you think!
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Today I will be looking at 44006 Breez, one of the smaller sets of this wave. Is this set worth the money? Read on to find out! The bag displays great artwork of Breez with the Brains surrounding her. The bag is mainly green. It also shows that the code gives you 400 Game Points for the Brain Attack game on HeroFactory.com. It notes the piece count (49) and the ages recommended (6-12) The back shows the legal disclaimers and more about the Brain Attack game. It also shows the combiner model for Breez and Ogrum. It demonstrates the visor going up and down, as well as the spinning saw shield. New Elements There are some new elements included in the set. The new chestplate has a place for the Hero Core and 4 areas where the claw-like things can be attached. The new head definetly proves interesting, as an axle can connect to the front. It also WON'T BREAK!!!!! I bet MOCists will go goo-goo over this. The new, transparent visor can attach to the back of the new head. Sadly, it won't work with many of the helmets, and is not compatible with the older heads either. Shame. But, small loss. The helmet is a modified version of Breez's original mold. Build Up The build is mainly like any other Hero, but with some new aspects. Making the Bow Staff was kinda interesting. It is hard to get the claws on the chestplate into the right position though. All in all, a pretty basic build like usual. Playibility This set is fun to play with, as it can preform many poses. The saw shield provides for various uses and ways to play. Strange... both this and the 2.0 Breez have a saw weapon of some kind. Eh, whatever. The Bow Staff can split into two, which can be fun for playing. It also doesn't have any irritating launchers, so that is good. On this set, even though it has so many random colors, it just... works. Breez's shield can go on her back. Unlike with Rocka and Bulk, it actually looks good. It doesn't stick out too much from the back like the other heroes. Makes for good fun during play. Its kinda like how in 2.0, the heroes shields could go on their back in the show (Sadly the sets never had that feature) This figure is definetly made to look like an actual girl, unlike the Breakout one. Not to mention... NON-CRACKING HEAD!!!! WOOHOO!!!! Natalie looks good with her former variants as well. However, her newest upgrade is smaller than her Breakout armor, as well as less armed. That is good, because she isn't over-bulky and over-equipped with weaponary. She looks feminine this time around. And they released her on time. Final Notes All in all, 44006 Breez is a very interesting set, with a few new parts and many recolors. It is definetly one of the better sets of this wave. Bulk doesn't have much bulk, and Rocka, well... I don't have a general gripe over him, but Breez is easily the best in my opinion. Not too big, not too small. Pros New elements and recolorsGreat color schemeInteresting weaponsNot over-bulkyNON-CRACKING HEAD!!!! Cons Uh.. well, there's... no...Hmmm...I... got nothing We all know how Breez can talk to virtually any animal. Giddy up, little Scorpio! So, thanks for looking at my review. I intend to do more of these, so is there anything I should improve? Any comments? Just post them below. And I intend to get better quality images in the future. I took these using and IPod Touch. Anyway, thanks for watching! ~~~Fastcar700
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Since TCW hasn't launched a review branch yet and I got my first Chima set the other day, I'm gonna share it with you here (in a minimalist form). Here would be set 70005 Laval's Royal Fighter, the largest of Lion vehicles in the first wave of Chima. And the back of the box: The box is nice. Nothing too special, but it is really thin compared to other boxes with similar amounts of contents. I noticed this when I first opened the box, and later had to try to fit the unopened bags back into the box. LEGO seems to be conserving a lot of space this year in their boxes. Now for the minifigs: The set has three good minifigures included: Laval, Longtooth, and Crawley. Laval of course is the young lion prince, and the main character in the Chima series. Longtooth is personally one of my favorite characters in the series. His minifig overall is gorgeous, and his character in the TV series is just as awesome. Crawley isn't very special story-wise, but his minifig is very cool nonetheless. The olive green color is very nice—this being my first set with it, and hist printing is also top-notch. Now to the set! End of bag 1. Nothing special: End of bag 2. Finishing the chassis: End of bag 3. The head is amazing. Much better designed to look like a lion head with fewer pieces than anything I could have designed. The flame yellowish orange color is great for the lions, and this set is a great way to get your hands on some useful pieces in that color. And now the finished model: The set turns out very nice when complete. It doesn't have a real 'action' feature, but the features it does have are quite nice. It has a raising turret for Laval to ride in (which also rotates and can aim up and down), a working jaw for the vehicle to nom on some crocs, and of course treads! Front: Back: Top: For Chima! Closing thoughts: Pros: Great minifigsLots of useful Flame Yellowish Orange piecesGreat-looking set overall Cons: Just a tad bit pricey, but not too much for it to not be worth the money.
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Feel free to review my story "Pitch White" here!
