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  1. You've just stumbled upon something big... Welcome to the hub for all thing related to Odyssey to the Northlands. This topic will be updated and linked to any related content for this six-part epic saga. I will warn you in advance that it stretches to incredible length. If you continue to follow my writing, you have been warned. As is usually the case on BZP, clicking linky-looking things should generally take you to the epic posting topic in question and clicking on any banner graphic I have in-text should also take you to the posting topic for which it is a banner. Let me know if I forgot to link any banners. To give you an idea, I will have you know that I have my epics written in full prior to the release of even the first chapter. In order to force myself to complete this epic on a (relatively) timely schedule, I forced myself to avoid being distracted by other BZP stuff and abstained from the site until it's writing was completed. That turned out to be a mistake, for I now fear I have estranged myself from anyone who knew me before with the one and a half year hiatus I took. Writing was underway before that period begun, but it took until then to finish. I ask you, no beg you, to please read this epic if you feel it appeals to your taste for fiction so that I may receive feedback on what has become a positively exhaustive venture for me. My only request is that in your feedback you please bear in mind that I have spent roughly two years creating this and I never plan on undertaking such an extreme venture again; this is to be my magnum opus on BZP. If you see any way for me to improve my writing - I want to know! Just be respectful and consider how much of myself I threw into this. I know that is all in the epic forum rules and guidelines thread: I just feel it kind of goes double for me with this epic saga. Premise: To receive an idea on what this epic is about and whether the premise appeals to you as a fan-fiction, please read the PREFACE located at the beginning of the Part I topic. This describes the scenario and sets the stage for the following saga. In short, we are looking at a largely unexplored period of time following the Core War on Spherus Magna while set on the Bara Magna "shattered" piece of the whole. Because we were led to believe the Core War took place on a positively massive scale and must have had countless Glatorian soldiers, you will run across far more Glatorian characters than exist in the six Tribes by the point of time that was GregF's story-telling present. To some extent, I try to explain why there will be so few Glatorian still around in the six Tribes as arena combatants during story telling present. In case the PREFACE is unclear to you, this is set in time at 85,000 years before story present (15,000 years after Core War at 100,000 years before story present). Release Schedule: This epic was initially meant to have a fixed release schedule. However, due to lack of attention as I started posting, I want to slow my rate to give myself time to try and re-establish myself on BZP after a long time out of the loop and the rate of posting will be flexible based on traffic to this topic. Seeing as I have received no replies at the current time, this means I will be drastically slowing down until I know I at least have ONE reader. Thank you if you do stop by! Table of Contents: Preface Part I: Igniting Ice Prologue: "Condemnation" Chapter 1: "Fiery Ice" Chapter 2: "The Ice Calls to its Own" Chapter 3: "Smoky Dealings" Chapter 4: "Vulcanus" Chapter 5: "Insurgent Ice, Resurgent Fire" Chapter 6: "The Trial of Fire" Chapter 7: "Atero" Chapter 8: "Rek" Part II: Among the Lowlifes of Treason Prologue: "Wrong Turn" ????? Part III: ????? ????? Part IV: ????? ????? Part V: ????? ????? Part VI: ????? ????? Character Listing: Primary, Secondary, Cameo/Mentioned Pronunciations: (Simplified Phonetic, Dictionary Symbolic) Ocucko - (OH-COO-koh, ō-kü-kō) Ice Lord - ("Ice Lord," īs lȯrd) Nardohi - (nar-DOE-hee, när-dō-hē) Adani - (ah-DAH-nee, ä-dä-nē) Ackar - (AH-car, ä-kär) Raanu - (RAH-noo, rä-nü) Malum - (MAH-LUM, ma-lǝm) Hesmit - (HEZ-mit, hez-mit) Dektor - (DEK-tohr, dek-tȯr) "Rek" - ("Rek," rek) Skid – ("Skid," skid) Clunk - (“Clunk,” klǝŋk) FAQs: I expect some questions to be swirling around in your grey matter by this point; here's some of the ones I don't want to have to repeat to much. If I get pestered much with some other important question, I'll add it up here. Q: About your previous work... A: Let's not go there. I had to start learning to write somewhere. Actually, let's go there on second thought. What I mean by that is that I am currently in the process of writing an anniversary edition of Lightfall. That saga was by nearly any standard a poor piece of writing, but it was a necessary learning experience that paved the way for what I believe is a far more professional piece of writing right here in this saga. The anniversary edition will be expanded, correct plot errors/loopholes/inconsistencies, explore scenarios and characterize individuals better, remove the excessive suspension of disbelief and make me proud... hopefully. But that's a tall order when you look at the lengthy list. At this point, I suggest you not read the train-wreck that is Lightfall if you have not already - if you have read it already, you were very helpful and I used your feedback to produce what feels like a much better piece of writing to me - and by that I mean this saga. As for Sordid Shafts, I actually still really like that one and never intend to rewrite it at all, but as a spinoff from Lightfall, I only recommend newcomers to my writing read it after the anniversary edition is out. That will be awhile. In the meantime... there will be a LOT to read here. Q: You keep saying this epic saga is long. How long exactly? A: Really long. It is not in short story or novella length. It is in full-blown novel length. For now, I will keep the exact length a secret to be revealed by its posting. Have fun reading; I'll keep you at it for a long time with this hunk of text. Q: Is that a reference to... A: You can ask to be sure, but it probably is. When I was trying to keep myself going, I put in sneaky little references. Not glaring big obvious ones that ruin the story-telling with their blatancy. Just a name here and there that may or may not have rearranged letters from something else or a name that is phonetically similar-sounding to something from something else... I'm sure any well-read person will catch a couple. Please see my answer to the next question if you are curious as to why I snuck in these little references. Q: Any inspirations on writing this? A: Lots, but I worked to keep them as merely inspirations. This epic saga is entirely of my own imagining. It is worth noting that some of the sneaky references I make that seem like I am very clearly mimicking some character from something else were references that were made in retrospect when I realized the number of similarities, not characters that were specifically created as an homage to anything else. This epic as a whole is in no way meant to copy from any other work of fiction, nor is it even an homage to anything. Note the "as a whole:" a significant part of Part IV was written as an homage to a classical work of literature, but that one portion of that one part is the only one like that. Q: Who does your banners? A: I do. I've had some graphic design experience and create them myself using only personal photos and stock images from Lego released in conjunction with the Bionicle line to avoid any potential file theft without credit that may result from Googling images and editing them into banners. I use Adobe Photoshop Elements 9 in order to access the necessary editing tools and to create layers. Q: Why write something so big? A: To be completely honest, I had no choice in the matter. The story seemed to grow a mind of its own and was driven by the character that acts as a protagonist. I felt compelled to include all the content that eventually made its way in there. Q: What sort of story are you trying to tell here? A: This was a workshop of sorts for me. The multi-part format allows me to try and tell an extensive array of types of stories, which I felt helped me to grow as a writer by exploring all these different types of writing. Fear not, I did not let the temptation of trying my hand at different genres get in the way of the story-telling (let me know if you feel it did, but I've extensively proofread with that possibility in mind and have found myself "not guilty"). Different types of writing were explored only as appropriate for the overall story I was trying to tell. For the most part, though, the name says it all: this is an odyssey - a globe-spanning adventure. About the Author: I don't know guys, what do you want to know about me? If you want to request that I reveal something in this section, feel free to PM me with a question and I'll add it to this if I feel it belongs! (Too preoccuppied at the moment to think of what stuff might interest BZP-goers about me.) Final Words: I hope you enjoy the read. I hope that I can bring something new and involved to the epics forum with this saga and I intend for this not to be the end of my writing on BZP even though I seemed to have dropped of the face of Spherus Magna for awhile there. I'm back guys... and this time I mean business. This saga is go! Rise Above the Traces of War Kindle the Fires of Change Wander the Wastes of Sand Grant the Jungles Deliverance Dive into Water's Darkened Depths Hold Fast Before the Might of Rock Overcome Ice's Ire And Find the Signs of Hope Maganar
  2. All reviews for "A New Team in Town" shall go here!
  3. So I don't think BZP has done any set reviews for the recent Star Wars sets, and since member set review topics are allowed now, I've decided to post this. Do whatever you wish with the following opinions. Released early 2014, the Jedi Interceptor is the third incarnation (at least) of the ship from Star Wars Episode III, but the main appeal of this set, along with the others in the wave, is for the new projectile piece. So my question upon building the set: Was it worth it? Presentation - Most of us are familiar with the standard LEGO Box. You'll see an age range (7-12), a piece count (223), an image of the set in action, and a picture of included minifigures at the bottom. In this case, both the Anakin and the R2-D2 figure are advertised as new, even though R2 looks very similar to earlier incarnations except for the dome color, which is silver here. Personally I prefer white, but to each their own. Like many minifigures these days, Anakin also has an angry face on the back. There's also an advertisement for the new projectile piece which I will get to later. The back of the box contains some cool pictures as well, showing off the ship from the top and side, as well as showing off the missile feature. Building - If you've ever built a Star Wars ship before (especially previous incarnations of this ship), you probably know what to expect. There are no real creative tricks or piece use here, and the mirrored wings are a little repetitive. It's not a boring build, but nothing too surprising, either. Some might want to know that there are stickers included for the winglets and the interior cockpit. I did not put them on for the photos (sorry). Set Design - From a design standpoint the ship works. It looks like the movie version and the design is fairly sleek, but I'm not without my criticisms. The winglets aren't attached in a manner that seems very sturdy, and can come off when you open and close them. I would have also liked to see some sort of landing gear for the ship to be at rest on. There are two smooth circle pieces on the bottom of the wings (along with the same on the bottom of the cockpit), but their function seems to be providing more of a frictionless bottom than a landing gear. They're appreciated, but more could have been done. You can see a top and back view at those links. On the plus side, I do like the cockpit and how it has room for both a minifigure and his tools, or in this case a lightsaber. It also completely opens up to make it easy for putting the minifigure/tools, which is always appreciated. Also on the plus side is that while this isn't too different from previous incarnations (in fact it's almost disturbingly similar to the 2012 green version), it also looks to me to have a slightly more film-accurate design. One example of this is R2-D2, who fits into the wing as a whole figure, as opposed to the 2005 version where he needs to be decapitated. The stud on the bottom of his body locks into a single stud 2x2 plate while his legs are free to move. It's not a solid connection, but an improvement over decapitation in my opinion. Playability - Let's be fair, here: we've all seen this set before, and as far as playability goes it doesn't really offer anything aside from the new missile pieces. So how do they work? Actually quite well. The don't go as far Kanoka or or Zamor launchers, but they aren't shabby. You can see the simple assembly here: all you do is stick the missile in the shooter brick (which also functions like a regular 1x4 brick), push down on the back end, and they go flying. They go relatively far and are definitely fun to shoot. They do stick a little too far back, and LEGO probably could have gotten away with making them shorter, but it's not too awful looking. (Actually the length is necessary for how they are used here, but other models or MOCS might be a different story). The missiles themselves have a back that is basically the same size as a lightsaber rod, while the front has a dome shape. This is unfortunate as it means you can't attach anything to the front, but that could change in the future if LEGO modifies the design. Final thoughts - Pros: New missile pieces are very cool Two (mostly) new minifigures Film-accuracy improvement over 2005 yellow version... Cons: ... But not different enough from the 2012 green version Not a sturdy winglet design Some might not like the length of the new missiles If you want one of the new projectile pieces and don't own a Jedi Interceptor yet, this is a good set to buy. It comes with two shooter bricks and three of the projectiles (one spare), and the model itself is pretty nice to boot. I imagine, though, that those who already have an interceptor (especially the 2012 one) probably don't need another. In that case, the new missiles come with other sets (like 75037 Battle on Saleucami which also seems to give three) so there are still lots of options for picking them up. (Please let me know if the pictures work- I've never used Flickr before so I have no idea if they'll show up.)
  4. Season 2 Episode 21 This episode really drags in the beginning, but really picks up toward the end with the introduction to a new mystery. Oh gee Lavartis is creepy. Too much double-talk and secrets. Its clear that hes hiding something. Whether or not hes evil remains to be seen, but the black and silver headband suggests that he could be in league with the scorpions, etc. He also enjoys psyching Cragger out for some reason. He seems to like the Croc Legend beast, though, so maybe hes a little insane? All those years of exile in a dangerous place could have driven him over the deep end. Like the mystery building up here. Episode 22 Same as 21. Like the side-plot of Lavals father vs. Chi thieves. It clarifies some stuff. Still dont know how they got to Mount Cavora, but I have a feeling thats coming up shortly. Rogon: lol. Much enjoy the abacus thing abacuses are almost a running gag every time they appear. Episode 23 Not much to say about this episode. I liked the reveal in here (wont spoil it) and also the characterization for Lavartus. (He seems to be the focus, generally.) Also like the unique method Laval pulls out of his hat to win (although, granted, it might be mildly inconsistent with his earlier ego problems ). Youre just going to have to watch it to see. Episode 24 Not much to say about this episode. As per the title, we get more character development for Burbank, which is a nice change from Laval, Laval, Laval. Also Legend Beasts lay eggs? Theres more of them? Episode 25 Nice suspense thing going on, and more development for Worriz. The mystery between Lavartis and Crominous is good. Suspensealthough everyone knows the answer to this. Episode 26 Laval officially has plot armor. I thought he might have been mind-controlled by the scorpions I guess the big blasts dont work like that. Other than that, this is another one of those touchy episodes with much spoilers. I have to admire the animation/camera work going on with Lavartus, for reasons and people should stop throwing Chi into black holes. Thats dangerous stuff, kids dont do it. Final (ish?) Thoughts: Season 2 embraces the mysterious adventure type storytelling that Season 1 touched on a bit towards the end but never fully adopted. The characters of the series are now out exploring unknown territory, and other mysteries, such as the nature of the outlands, etc are now being explored and revealed. Theres a strong sense of continuity with season 1, however, so watching it is helpful to understanding what is going on. Also this series focuses on characters like Rogon and Burbank, giving them depth and development after a solid season of Laval, Laval, Laval, its a welcome change. Chima is what Id call an epic fantasy series. Yes, like Ninjago, there are vehicles, but they are all fantasy powered by Chi. As typical for these sorts of series, the characters are actually realistic. A good epic fantasy will touch on character strengths and weaknesses in order to convey its themes, but it also needs an element of mystery, humor, or suspense (and usually a combination of both) to drive the plot and hold the viewers interest. Season 2 attempts the mystery tack, and it does it okay, at least - leaving you with a strong sense of interest. The attempts at humor are pretty much centered on Rogon, and they do okay. The suspense thing is pulled off successfully in some places, where others it is completely undermined. I feel like Laval should have sustained something from that scorpion blast, yes? Oh well, moving on... Overall, season 2 is miles ahead of season 1's missteps, but it still has a way to go to get up to Ninjago or Bionicle quality (if it needs to get up there *insert debate here*...).
  5. Season 1 Episode 1 I liked the opening to this one very intense with the battle and invasion. Wished that they had done more with the kidnapping of Eris it kind of felt forced, and was resolved too quickly I thought. Friends turned enemies trope going on. I kind of felt that Cragger was put up to the Chi theft by his parents, especially given their reaction after the Lions stood up for what was going on. This also could explain why Cragger cut his parents loose at the end of the episode. Still, the Chi thing going on could have driven him mad as well. If just had a little Chi. is ridiculous though. Episode 2 The sudden appearance of the Legend Beast struck me as a bit of a mistake it should have been left as a mystery for a bit longer. I like Lavals victory though, and also Eris comeback hopefully that continues to be a thing, as she was the victim/damsel in distress twice, and that is starting to get old. Lavals father strikes me as a Turaga-Vakama-style character the old wise elder with the thing for traditions and speeches. Episodes 1 and 2 mixed up the chronology on me, which is sometimes good for an opening, but can really be disorienting, especially here as they do it twice, which leads to a lot of repetition of events. The musical score in 1 needs help, but in two it really showed itself to be good for the tone of the series. 2>1, so the series is improving, but it suffers from seemingly contrived plot points like the Legend Beast. Im getting the feeling of an epic fantasy story at this juncture, which isnt bad. Episode 3 Ugh that theme song undermines the epic fantasy tone. Chima=/=Ninjago. Like the Mount Kavora possibly some telekinesis involved? Like the visuals so far the colorful 3-D animation is a true treat for the eyes. Laval is a realistic character this episode gave him depth. Also like the action from Eris. Craggers sister oh boy she is evil (Roodaka). Gorzan was just plain dumb and that whole sequence made me yawn. Except for the wolf vs. gorilla fight that would have been funny, but the beam-crash at the end ruined it. Also dont like the unresolved Aesop that was just plain sad. Wolves so far have no character depth, but the ravens and rhinos got a scene, as did the bear. Particularly like the ravens depth theyre shameless profiteers (i.e. the Dark Hunters to the Crocs Makuta). Episode 4 No, sometimes I let Eris ruin stuff too. Nice. Felt that the road trip thing suffered from sloppy pacing and was really boring, but once the action started it started to shape up to be a good one. Did anyone else think that the Laval wakes up in bed was a shot at it was all a dream storyline? Glad that was subverted. Liked the Beavers a lot. Im hiring them for my next project lol. Episode 5 At this point the show has settled into a pattern of Fantasy Aesop style storytelling (dur, the characters are animals ). This can, and often does make for a good kids TV show (like Sagwa the Chinese Siamese Cat). It has its flaws: 1) that it can get boring and repetitive, and 2) the moral lesson is usually shoved in the viewers face, which sometimes precludes thinking for yourself about what they story really means. Sometimes thats half the fun of watching/reading, and so the story often needs another element to hold the audiences attention. For example, Sagwa was funny. This one doesnt seem to have any of that the jokes arent really funny, the action sequences arent cool enough to bring you in, and the mystery seems to be in the background and keeps getting undermined just when it could be interesting. While Episode 5 could count as a deviation from what I just mentioned, it doesnt have any redeeming qualities either. The ravens antics count as mildly amusing. Episode 6 Like the Eagles the scholars who use books as weapons. Also Lavals rambling about the plan thing counts as a good joke the first of the series thats actually funny. (After the Eagles.) I sense the tragic scene between Laval and Eris could fuel a lot of shipping if it wasnt already a thing after Episode 4. Episode 7 This episode just doesnt make any sense. Enough said. A random plot point spawned it for no good reason whatsoever. The partnership between Laval and Eris is starting to grow old. Episode 8 Another contrived earthquake plot point. Good to see Laval working with another lion instead of Eris. I think for what it is trying to be a childrens epic fantasy Chima succeeds. If you enjoy a solid fantasy genre with a dash of humor, then this is your show. If youre looking for sci-fi, Hero Factory may be more your thing, and if you want something that is a blend of the two that is plain flat more punchy, Ninjago is better. I find epic fantasy to be in league with Great Literature as a mind-deadening insomnia cure, though without mystery or some sort of tension/suspense. But thats just me. Lets get home while your ego can still fit inside the Lion compound. There you go, Eris. Also the shadow guy counts as a good mystery. He will likely be shoved off to the side in the next episode... Episode 9 Lions in life jackets. How cute. Also like how Crooler (Craggers sis) was marooned. Evil doesnt pay, kids. Episode 10 Crooler reveals her true colors in this episode. Evil has revealed itself, and now were playing for real stakes. The race for the Golden Chi plot point has grown awfully stale by this episode. Its just as well that its over. Who ShadoWind is has become more intense. Its a tragic episode, but with none of the weaknesses of the previous two, and for that I am grateful. Episode 11-12 These episodes are actually legitimately bad (as in bad things happen). Like the scenes in between Laval and Lavals father. Episode 13 Best episode yet. Actually legitimately funny. Episode 14 This show gets better as it goes along, although it could just be the growing-on effect. No comeuppance for Lavals ego though, which I was expecting after 13. (Also a noted criticism: Laval's ego/pride flaw never really seems to get him in trouble. He has a lot of Marty Stu characteristics, since all of his flaws seem contrived, forced in, and never really hurt him too much...) Episode 15 The Speedorz around Chima plot feels tacked on to the main plot about the Eagles and the Ravens. Does Laval have to be in every episode? Yeesh. Episode 16 Like seeing the constraction sets in action. Also like Lavals stand-up to his father at the end (character development yay). Episode 17 More character development for Laval. Dude seems to have a monopoly on that lately. Also like the Croc mystery reveal thing going on. Theres good food for theorizing with the Outland plants, the Gorge of Eternal depth, etc. The story has moved away from the fable style storytelling and embraced a solid continuity by about 11 or so, which is refreshing. Also wonder if the exile plot point will come around again, as the episode left it somewhat open-ended. I feel that if previous episodes are any indication, it will be pushed to the side and never heard from again. Seems that the series has come from a rocky start to a rather good epic fantasy. Theres some mystery going on, and some rather good character depth, which is key. Its centered on Laval a good deal this episode needed it but sometimes I wish there was more for the other characters as well, as anything beyond the stereotypes they are based on tends to come in fits and starts. Episode 18 More mystery development, especially with the outland plants, ShadoWind, Mount Kavora, and the black cloud itself. Excellent. Episode 19-20 Got to love it. Lavals fake death and everyones reaction to it was really handled well. I also liked the teamwork scene at the end. It hit all the right notes. The game has intensified, and were playing for real mysteries and real stakes, as opposed to the fable-esc storytelling of the previous stories. Definitely improved! Looking forward to the role that the bears will play in future story. It kind of feels weird cutting off the story here like they did, just as it was starting to get good. Still, they finally fully resolved the conflict with Cragger/Wolves/Ravens, and for that, much applause. Final Thoughts (Season 1): This TV series, in my opinion, begins a bit sloppy. The first two episodes are out of chronological order, which makes for a good deal of repetition and makes it difficult to follow. Eris is poorly characterized in these early episodes, which doesnt help much. By the third episode, however, Eris is fighting with the best of them and poking at Lavals character flaws. I also found the first two episodes to have cheesy dialogue that seemed to establish that the main characters are stupid. This seemed to trail off as the series progresses, but it could be that I got used to it. Beyond those first two, I didnt pick up on anything too inane. The next seven episodes seem to evidence that the writers were fumbling around trying to decide on the story direction. Basically its a lot of Cragger vs. Laval with emphasis on the lesson at the end of the episode, much like Aesops Fables (dur, animal characters ) or Sagwa The Chinese Siamese Cat. It also tries to be humorous, like Sagwa, and fails all the jokes fall flat or seem undermined. For example, the fight between Gorzan and Worriz over the flower would be funny except a beam falls from the sky and the flower is crushed anyway. The show also uses a lot of repetitive plot points here most notably the race for the golden Chi. When Laval says that there is not going to be any more races for a long time, I felt relief instead of dread. It also uses contrived ones like the hundred year moon thing totally random and out of left field. By episode 10, though, evil has revealed itself and real stakes are being played for. Crooler has been established as main villain, and the Wolves with their excess Chi are a real problem. 13 is actually funny, but I expected Lavals big ego to get a thrashing after that, and he didnt get it. 15 is a bit of a weak spot, but 16-17 gave Laval some really big character development, continuing the trend from 11 & 12. Laval gets the most character development over the course of the series, but the others do as well, especially the crocs. Its pretty clear that continuity has been established, with some real mysteries going on. I wont spoil them for you. Episode 20 has a lot of good emotional moments. I kind of felt that the story was cut off in the middle to a degree, with the conflict of 18 still up in the air, but the problems of the entire season the main conflict of it has been resolved in a very satisfying way.
  6. -Original Topic Requested to be Closed Prior to the Start of this Topic- So, yeah. Post all your reviews and comments for this rebooted story here.
  7. Title says it all. Post constructive criticism, thoughts, and discussions about the story here. Link
  8. Read here. FAQ Q: What is the gist of this fanfiction? A: To retell Bionicle in the style of Marvel's Ultimate Comics, which is to say that there will be no original characters, and the core of the mythos will stay the same, but there will also be a lot of changes and tweaks. Q: How is this being written? A: Cold, and I have no idea whether I'll finish it or not. Feedback of any kind might help drive at least the first epic to a conclusion, though
  9. The review topic for my epic, The Legends of Atara Nui I suppose this is as good a place as any to explain this, so here goes: The general premise of this epic is essentially set on a heavily altered Mata Nui, with different Matoran elements, principles, environments and characters. Please, do tell me what you think.
  10. Hey guys, So this is my first topic on BZP, so please bear with me. So some of you are probably pretty envious that I got to see the Lego movie on the 16th. It was really good, so good that I though it deserved a review on my site. You can read it on my site here. I hope you like it, give me your input in the comments below! ldd2000
  11. Legion of Legends Review Topic Legion of legends is a story taking place some time in the middle of Teridax's dictatorship. It follows the Toa Mahri's adventure and rebellion through the Makutaverse. Please keep in mind that I don't know the story of Teridax's dictatorship very well and have only read a couple of the serials, so this story will most likely not be very accurate or be close to the original at all. I don't know what I plan to do with this epic, and might not even continue it. C&C?
  12. here is the place to discuss my epic storyline bionicle the new blood http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=11201&hl
  13. So yeah, this is the review topic for "The Book of Notch - Chapter by Chapter" Sorry if it's a bit biblical though. It's be nice if you guys tell me how it is and I'll try to improve it. C&C appreciated
  14. The Story It's been a while. And this story has been in development longer than that while, and it's finally done. Yayz! Party! This epic is entirely prewritten, and is not part of a series, past, present, or future. Okay, if I get a bunch of fans clamoring for a sequel or some insanity like that I might do it, but the last time I did that the results were chopped up by a six-month downtime and read by no one. I am not eager to repeat the experience. This will be released on a reasonable basis (weekly, unless I feel I need to accelerate) and will reach an end, with all the loose ends tied up. It will also have 16 chapters. And all comments, suggestions, notations, mathematical equations, theories (yeah, like I'm going to get theories ), long-winded critical reviews, short-winded critical reviews, blatant complaints about how bad my writing is, likes/dislikes, and anything else you may have to say for whatever reason is welcome. Mega-bonus points, cookies, and cheese will be handed out freely. Go forth!
  15. While investigating the murders of Tren Krom and Karzahni, Pohatu and Kopaka get teleported to the Red Star, where they make a disturbing discovery... Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 In this topic you may discuss the newest chapters of The Powers That Be, written by the Storyline Team of SM.com. Story topic here. Latest News: 10/31/2013 - The Powers That Be Chapter 5 re-released on BZPower! 10/09/2013 - The Powers That Be Chapter 5 released on BZPower! 10/07/2013 - The Powers That Be Chapter 5 released on SM.com!
  16. Discuss my story here! C'mon folks, you know what to do.
  17. Hi guys, reviews for Matoran? Or Monster go here. STORY TOPIC
  18. Project Girard Review Topic Project Girard is actually a comic I'm writing and illustrating, but as with another comic called Bad Vibes (which I'm still writing and gnashing my teeth over), I'm writing it in a prose format to sort out the details of the world and story more easily. I need the criticism and the discussion, since that is my ego-fuel. Description: The Story starts here.
  19. A place for criticism and analysis of my epic, Shadow destiny If you have not read it, here is the link: http://www.bzpower.com/board/index.php?showtopic=10088&do=findComment&comment=563801
  20. You've waited too long for this one. Theme: What Really Matters. More specifically, what really matters is friendship. Also, what you do when life is bad. Do you try to fix it (Mata Nui), hope to escape (Kiina), or give in to despair? (Ackar, and by extension, most of the people on BM, except for the villains) I'm not going to list all the reactions, but you get the idea. Main Character: Mata NuiSecondary Major Character: Ackar. As per usual, he embodies the lack of understanding of What Really Matters, which Mata Nui has to show him. * * *OpeningThe first shot we get out of this movie is a volcano. Anyone remember the volcano in Journey's End where Mata Nui found the knowledge he needed? That undone last trilogy movie might have begun with a shot of just that volcano. (Well, it might have been Ihu, but it's still a mountain. Counts.)Also, mega bonus points to the landscape rendering guys here. We get a beach, then a mountain, then an aerial viewpoint, almost as if we were flying away. Which Mata Nui does shortly thereafter. Nice homage. Further, the destruction of the mountain represents the destruction of knowledge. Mata Nui DescendingFirst off, Mata Nui has just lost half his memory and is in pretty bad shape. It is also clear from the opening voiceover that this movie, especially the opening, is from Mata Nui's perspective. So if you had not been paying attention to your insides for the past 97,000 years or so, you probably wouldn't have a very good grasp on what they looked like. Or how your camoflage system works. Viewed from Mata Nui's perspective, the opening makes sense. And contenuing the age-old tradition of falls at the beginning of Bionicle movies, behold Mata Nui's metaphorical (and literal) fall, with Makuta, the epitome of Me, Myself, and I All Alone because I Am Just Awesome Like That looking on. But there's no excuse for the way the robot stood up here. While Mata Nui might view his standing up with more grace, the cheap CGI is an insult to the Makuta, who can't seem to stand up properly. Which is realism. Arrival on Bara MagnaFirst off, we must estabilish that Bara Magna hates people. It's pretty ticked at Mata Nui for crashing into it and leaving a giant crater. (It's almost as if Mata Nui is trying to assert his status by making a huge crater and Bara Magna is just like "you are worthy of bugs.")The first emissary it sends to attack Mata Nui is a bug. The Mask of Life reacts by giving Mata Nui a body. It also probably modified Click's mind to make him more friendly to this guy that showed up. After all, Click was the Scarabax who touched the mask. The Mask might have also given him some intel on what was going on next: the bug isn't surprised or anything. He actually yawns. Also explains why Click goes for the Mask again - probably looking for information, but got turned into a sheild instead. The Ignika has no morals, but it's Mata Nui's friend. Then Bara Magna decides that was too weak, so the next up is a Vorox. The Mask of Life reacts by giving Mata Nui a sheild, and he lives. Then we see a sapient lifeform next. It's no wonder Mata Nui expects an attack - this planet is hostile. You will also see an odd bonelike structure in the background to the crater as Mata Nui comes in. I wouldn't put it past this movie for it to be a carcass of a biomechanical dino that the Scarabax were eating. Realism here. Metus --> An Arena Match"What happened here?""I would say it was-""Evil.""I was going to say earthquake, maybe volcanic eruption, but evil works."Metus is evil. Evil works? It does, huh Metus. It also gets you turned into a snake. In further case, Metus is a slimy smooth talker with questionable morals from the beginning. Traitor? No surprise. Also, if you get attacked by bugs and beasts upon going somewhere, pretty sure that place does not have your better interests at heart. Also, the Arena Match system is actually not very rewarding to the warriors after awhile. That's because the amount of disputes never ends, so you keep on fighting. And because resources are limited on Bara Magna, you're fighting for the same old stuff over and over again. I imagine that would get old fast. If the metaphorical fall of Mata Nui wasn't enough, we also get a literal fall of Mata Nui into the arena. This is a Bionicle movie, dagnabbit. Characters fall in those things. And Raanu and Metus, also people who don't know the theme look on, and the secondary major character is involved, as usual. Further, Mata Nui's mention of Toa is a Mask of Light homage. Not to mention the drop in the fiery pit. And just to show how messed up this world is, the ice people are nasty here and the fire people win. The water people are insulted in this movie too. Sometimes I like to view this movie as the opposite of MoL. The Mata Nui saga was all about preserving a place that was a cool paradise from an enemy - Makuta, whereas this one is a restoration of a wasteland. Takua was a lowly irresponsible Matoran who learned to use the Mask of Light at the end; Mata Nui already has the scmancy mask at the beginning of the his film, and he's lost most of his heroic glory. And once again, the Ignika proves to be Mata Nui's friend. Ackar's homeThe spinning rims: I got to address this, because in this scene it's real noticable. While the Agori may be organic, they do have Great Being implants to asist them. They're machines, and machines usually have status indicators to indicate orperation. An Agori would want to know if his implant broke down immediately, so that he could fix it. I think the spinning rims serve as that status indicator. They might have had caps at one point, but those were obiviously lost over 100,000 years. And Mata Nui's body should blend in with that - and besides, he's biomechanical anyway. I also get to reexamine the "Woohoo!" Line. It appears that Kiina made some comments about Mata Nui winning her bets. Also, she goes into a dance right after the infamous line, which might have annoyed some people more than the line itself. The other thing is that the scene is realistic - after that emotional rush, Kiina stumbles awkwardly about and even makes logical errors: "Don't even think about pulling a fast one because you're my ticket out of here." That's illogical, because if he does pull a fast one he is not a reliable ticket to anywhere. However, it's consistant with someone who is emotionally rattled. Canyon Fight to Tajun LabNotice that Ackar only does one flip in this fight. Nobody else does flips in the course of the flim, and I'm of the opinion that the ability comes from years of training and skill, not agility. I've practiced martial arts, and I've seen guys who are older than me do those types of flips, although a bit smaller. I can't do that to save my life, even though I'm normally young and agile. It takes a certain amount of physical dexterity, but I'm not sure that diminishes with age. I also blame Great Being implant enhancements for additional strength. If these enhancements were that good, it would make sense that the enemies would attack that stuff first. That would explain the "Berix repairs Gresh" scene. Further, nothing says Berix didn't have the Agori equivelent of a first-aid kit for organic damage. Although there must not have been too much, as Gresh is up and at 'em in the next scene. The sand surfing scene is hard to justify, but let's put it this way. The Mask of Life can give whatever powers it wants to whomever it wants. So I think it might have been nice to Mata Nui and given him enhanced senses, including a good sense of timing and balence. This might have been to compensate - Mata Nui would likely be used to the detail of giant robot sensors, so this would be to make the whole thing more habitable. This could include enough sensory detail to identify weak points in rock or blast Bone Hunters with such accuracy. I think the yellow flash there didn't bring down that gorge; I think it was to repair Mata Nui's blade from the damage of plunging into solid rock. I could also say that the Mask gave Mata Nui the ability to shoot pure energy, but I think that is a bit much, as yellow always indicates the Mask's usage here. A sensory boost would also explain why Mata Nui could detect the Bone Hunters' presence before the others did, how he detected the lack of elemental powers in the Glatorian, etc. Also, Mata Nui might have had access to the Mask of Life's knowledge here, and Toa Ignika did ride a skyboard back in 2008. It might also have helped Mata Nui recognize the UDD. So I generally find the complaints about Mata Nui being too smart to be a little unfounded. I have to give points - the Tajun fight actually makes the Bone Hunters seem like a real threat. They surround Kiina and Ackar, and it takes Mata Nui's gun blasts to save them. They are enough of a problem that Mata Nui decides to do a one-on-one fight instead of confront them all. So they aren't whistling Dixie. Ackar makes a point of pointing out how inexprienced Mata Nui is by knocking him over and knocking Click off his back. And for the record, any time we visit the water people's home, things get destroyed. Remember the Great Temple destruction in WoS? Further, it's water people's village that gets destroyed, as opposed to the fire guy's village. Reverse MoL. Also, why do all the water people have all the knowledge and valuable items, whether it be the Great Temple or the Tajun lab?Reading the Bionicle letters on the wall is "Lego" "Bionicle" and "Secret Lab". Nothing interesting there, kids. Move along. TesaraTesara is a ball joint, socket, and two technic pins standing up in the air. Covered in mud and vine-webs. This is what happens when the Great Beings don't play with their Lego. Also foreshadowing. Then we get another MoL inversion. The guy who gets the power is actually the old responsible guy. Jaller, er, Ackar. And remember Takua's "I am Takanuva." moment where he shoots light energy at stuff. In Ackar's case, behold this awesome pillar of fire. It's also a nice twist on the theme - first off that Ackar isn't giving up like he was before, and second, that what really matters is that I have a friend who saved my tail in the arena and gave me awesome powers LIKE THIS. And that is worth a whole lot more than pointless arena matches, so be quiet. It's a message. Also, Mata Nui was standing on one of the "Technic pins" when the villages were put together. Probably the shorter one on the right. Tuma vs. Mata NuiFor all the bluster about Tuma being too easy, remember what I said earilier about GB implants? It's only inevitable that one would fail after 100,000 years. Do you expect THE MIGHTY TUMA to admit that his implants failed and that he needs medical? I don't. Weakness looks bad. "Arrogance can topple giants. Trust me, I know." It's a shame Makuta can't hear this. Meet the Real MetusFirst off, angry animals are a force to be reckoned with. Second, I doubt the Bone Hunters treated their steeds with TLC. So I can imagine that one would be ticked enough to kick over a bunch of them. The fact that Berix happened to be riding it, and that last move with the sheild can be attributed to dumb luck. It happens. (However, if I was writing the story Berix would end up captured again, and I would totally use that as sequel bait. I'm allowed to say that because this movie takes place in 2009. ) Although Berix does get buried in rock, so his luck does run out. Also, I find it ironic that Metus was busted by Vorox in the end. It puts a whole new spin on the beginning of the film - perhaps Metus was out Vorox hunting ahen he found Mata Nui? Or better yet, the Vorox decided to take Mata Nui's side once they saw he was against the Skrall? Mata Nui even turns enemies into friends here!Sadly, that magic doesn't work on the Skrall, Bone Hunters, and Metus. Well, it doesn't work on Metus. So it's time for the old fashioned magic mask. That will put a dent in your profit margins. And the old fashioned Power of Unity. Which always works. This is a Bionicle movie, in case you missed the UDD in the sky and the falls at the beginning. So there.Previous Random Movie Insights (Don't Post in them, they are long past revival):Mask of LightLegends of Metru NuiWeb of Shadows
  21. Presentation From the design of the box to the instruction manual, these are the first things you see before building the set. Here we have a plastic baggie, much like the new HF ones, only much, much smaller. On the front we have a character drawing of Lizaru in the center, with a preview at the parts below. To the bottom right we can see that it's a booster pack for one of the newer Ninjago spinners. And how could we forget the Ninjago and LEGO logos? On the back, we have advertisements for other booster packs, how this booster pack is to be used (don't swallow the bricks kids!), and the legal information. This bag is a little entertaining, but it is very cluttered. Building Half the fun is had building the set. How fun is it to build and how easy or challenging is it? There really isn't much to say here, you build the minifigure and his accesories, then you're done. They are pretty cool though. I really love that golden ax. Set Design Now that the set is complete, we can critique how it looks from every angle. New or interesting pieces can also be examined here. There isn't much design to the set, but it's a set none the less. The Lizaru minifigure is really nicely done. The printing is continued on almost every side of the body, the frond being my favorite (look at that scar!). The scaly look carries over him very nicely. The only bad thing about the figure is the head. It has NO articulation at all. But the eyes and printing somewhat make up for it, however. The only really interesting thing that I found were the trans-light green snake things. They don't really do much, but they look pretty cool. Playability The other half of the fun is in playing with the set. How well does the set function and is it enjoyable to play with? You all probably know how to play with a minifigure, but for those who don't, you grasp it between two fingers and make it hop up and down (to imitate walking) and add in the dialogue. In this case, you pick up the minifigure with his golden ax, and (in the most snake-like voice you can imagine) say something like "imma gonna kill you wit mah golden ax!!!" Final Thoughts Once it's all said and done, how does the set stack up? Should I get it? Pros What's to like? Lizaru!Golden Ax!Trans-light-green snake-things! Cons What's not to like? Not much articulationNot much you can do with the spinner accesories if you don't have a spinner. All in all, pretty good minifigure, pretty good parts, pretty good set.
  22. The small images link to bigger ones FYI. Presentation From the design of the box to the instruction manual, these are the first things you see before building the set. So, the box… The thing you first see when you buy a LEGO set… On the front, we have Finn McMissile parked on a walkway, with all of his gadgets deployed (why? I don’t know.) and shooting his flick-fire missile at something that was clearly photoshopped out of its path. All the trademarks and logos (Cars, Disney, and LEGO) are in their correct places, along with a character shot from the movie in the bottom-left corner. On the back, we have something that I haven’t seen since I played with Duplo. The inventory is on the back of the box, with pictures of the set, and more logos. Building Half the fun is had building the set. How fun is it to build and how easy or challenging is it? The build is straightforward and relatively simple. You build the frame, and add the facial shells. You then get to build and attach all of his fancy gadgets including a satellite dish (I don’t know where that came from), a sub-machine gun, 1x1 light-grey stud with a camera lens printed onto it, 1x2 trans light-green computer screen thing, and a flick-fire missile. Set Design Now that the set is complete, we can critique how it looks from every angle. New or interesting pieces can also be examined here. The set altogether is a nice buy for $7. You get a nice amount of baby-blue/light-blue pieces alongside the emotional car-shells. You also get a car that normally only appears in other sets, but you have all of the extra accessories which kind of ruin the design aesthetically. Sure, you can remove them, but you’ll still be stuck without a 1x1 light-blue piece and have two c-joints sticking out. The back is probably one of the bad points about it; there’s nothing eye-popping there except for a rear window, and that isn’t really that eye-popping. A license plate sticker would’ve done well back there; also the arches aren’t flush with the back of the shell. The front is better, but the extra studs are a little distracting and subtract from the screen-accuracy. There is a way to remedy the screen-accuracy problem, however. You can replace the SNOT plates and c-joints with light blue 1x4 and 1x1 bricks, exchange the camera-stud for another clear stud, and move the 1x2 and 1x1 smooth plates to the front to create a very smooth and movie accurate design. The interesting pieces here are the car-shells, wheels and tires, the camera stud, and the trans-green 90-degree plate. I don’t see much usefulness in the parts, but they’re pretty cool. Playability The other half of the fun is in playing with the set. How well does the set function and is it enjoyable to play with? It’s a car. You’re supposed to roll it. It rolls very smoothly, as low to the ground as it is. In all seriousness, I could roll it around all day. The flick-fire missile is a little too gimmicky for me, though. Final Thoughts Once it's all said and done, how does the set stack up? Should I get it? Pros What's to like? Finn McMissileLots of light-blue piecesThe expression is awesomeRolls smoothly Cons What's not to like? Not very screen-accurateNot many new partsWhy isn’t it light-blue all of the way through?Lack of detail I believe that this is a really good set to have; it spares you some cash if you’re only looking to pick up a Finn McMissile car, it’s good for role-playing, look at that expression (he almost looks cocky), but it isn’t exactly screen-accurate.
  23. Here is the review topic for Oklan. Comments and critisism encouraged.
  24. Hi all Feel free to offer criticisms for my book, things you liked, things you didn't like, and where you would like me to take the story. Cheers PKP
  25. Here is where you can comment and criticize constructively on The Bionicle Comics Narration. To start things off, I realized that Kopaka never told Matoro his name, so I just worked it into the part where Matoro is telling Kopaka about the Toa. I kept wanting to go into first-person present-tense. I kept it third-person past-tense, though. Do you think I should switch? Looking forward to hearing what you all say!
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