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  1. Merry Christmas, y'all. May all your gifts rattle with plastic bricks. See it on Flickr and MOCpages.
  2. I'm not going to have a lot of free time tomorrow, so I'm going to go ahead and say this now: I wish you all a Merry Christmas and I hope the day is great for you all tomorrow.
  3. Far far away, in a quiet Matoran village, Nomar and Cives were sleeping soundly in their beds. Well, Nomar was, Cives was wide awake. It was Christmas eve! Cives couldn’t wait for Santa to come and deliver presents. He rolled over and whispered, “Are you awake?” “Yes,” Nomar grumbled, amazed at his friend's stupidity. “I am now.” “I haven’t been able to fall asleep, do you think Santa has come yet?” “No” Nomar said flatly. “Why not? It’s past midnight!” “He won’t come until you fall asleep.” “But I can’t!” There was a hint of desperation in Cives’ voice. “I’m too excited” Nomar rolled over again, “Just relax and be patient.” “Ok,” Cives said sheepishly. He remained quiet and after what felt like hours of tossing and turning sleep finally crept into his eyes. He never expected what came next. --- THUMP! Both matoran quickly sat up in bed. “What was that?” Whispered Nomar. “Maybe it is Santa!” Cives said quite loudly. “Shhh!” Hissed Nomar. “Be quiet.” Bump, bump, bump. Something was walking across the roof, headed for the chimney. It descended into the house with a thump! “Let’s go check it out!” said Cives. “Ok,” Whispered Nomar, “But be quiet and stay behind me.” He pulled out a lightstone and they crept to the door. Both matoran peered out into the hall. Seein it was empty and completely silent, they tip-toed to the living room. In the dim light they saw a huge shape lying on the floor. Cives gasped, and the shape began to stir. It stood up slowly, it had large spines running down it’s back, a small snake like head, and a huge, muscular, hunchbacked body. Although they had never seen anything like it they knew exactly what it was. “Rahkshi!” They screamed as they bolted for the door, but their path was blocked by another, smaller Rahkshi. Before they could react it knocked them both out with it’s staff. “You need to be more careful Xara,” Hoto, the smaller Rahkshi said in a strange, hissing, language. “You must have woken these two up.” “It’s not my fault that they are light sleepers!” Xara snapped back. Hoto eyed a plate of cookies. “Do you think he has been here?” “Let’s find out.” Xara picked up a gift from under the christmas tree, shook it, then tore it open with one swift motion. Out fell a Kanohi Hau, it was a sickly green color with patches of orange rust, not the most impressive gift. “What a cunning plan,” Xara mused. “Place these infected masks under the tree. Then when the Matoran wake up they will rush out, tear open their presents, then you have your own personal army. “That’s why our friends are combing the village,” Hoto said. “”We will catch him.” “I know,” sighed Xara, “But do we really have to climb down every single chimney?” --- Meanwhile, down the street two more Rahkshi, with markings showing their powers of poison and teleportation respectively, were also going house to house, but they were having considerably less trouble. The teleportation Rahkshi was staring at a window. He screwed up his face, then suddenly vanished and reappeared inside the house. He then Reached into his bag and pulled out a package, placing it carefully under the tree before teleporting out of the house. “How much longer must we do this, Master Poly?” The teleportation Rahkshi said to his companion. “I am getting tired...” Poly gave him a cold stare. “I want an infected mask on every matoran in this village, so don’t stop until you have visited every house!” He slapped the other Rahkshi in the face. “Unless you want to be Floor in more than name.” “S-sorry, master,” Floor stammered as he knelt on the ground. “Good, now get back to work!” Floor turned and prepared to teleport into the next house. Poly’s face twisted into a cruel smirk. He scanned the sky. An ice bat flew past, but otherwise the night was silent. Little did Poly know that ice bat had a mission, and a name. Ivan fluttered across the rooftops away from the villains towards his master Vlad, who was struggling to pull himself out of a chimney. Vlad was a Rahkshi of hunger, although he didn’t look like it, since he had painted himself bright gold. He flopped out of the chimney and Ivan landed on his shoulder. “Vat is it Ivan? Have you found zem?” The bat made a chirping noise, shaking it’s head up and down. “Ok, lead the vay, just one zecond…” He turned to the chimney and helped pull out another Rahkshi who was armed only with a large shield. “Ivan has found the villains!” The other Rahkshi smiled, “Let's go get them!” They took off, soaring over the rooftop until… --- Poly heard the sound of something flying through the air. “Hide,” he hissed at Floor. Floor teleported into an alleyway and Poly hid himself in the shadows of a porch. Vlad and Shield came in for a smooth landing, “You said zey vere here?” Vlad asked his pet, “I don’t see anybody.” “Thy might still be nearby,” Shield replied. “I’ll go this way, you go that way.” The two Rahkshi spit up. Poly smiled and began to follow Vlad. Floor got the message and stepped out of his alleyway once Shield passed him. Floor smiled and shifted the weight of his bag, letting it slide off his back. The presents inside shuffled. Vlad’s ears picked up the sound and he spun shouting “Look out Shield!” Poly leaped at Vlad, not bothering to draw a weapon. Shield spun, and Floor smacked him in the face with the bag of presents. The fight was on. --- Up on the housetop Hoto paused, She heard banging and shouting. Looking around, she caught sight of the fight going down the street. “Xara, I’m going to check that out.” Xara was trying to haul herself out of the chimney. “Hoto wait!” It was too late, Hoto had already taken off. “Oh, well,” Xara mumbled, “I guess I may as well send the signal.” She pointed her hand into the sky and launched off a bolt of chain lightning. Meanwhile, the fight wasn’t going too well. Vlad and Poly were pretty evenly matched, considering both of their powers required physical contact, but Floor had already knocked Shield out with his bag of gifts. Vlad was outnumbered. The two other Rahkshi circled him, looking for an opening. Poly lunged, and Hoto dived, striking Poly in the head with her staff. Poly fell on the ground, and Hoto lunged to pin him. “Don’t” Vlad shouted, tackling Hoto to protect her from Poly’s poisonous touch. Floor decided it was time to make his exit, he turned and sprinted down the street only to find his path blocked by two more Rahkshi. Screwing up his face again he concentrated, and instantly teleported past them. Suddenly he felt a strange pain in his ankle. He stopped and looked down. A small Ussal crab had grabbed him with it’s pincher. “Get off you stupid animal!” He shook his leg, trying to dislodge the critter. “Hey!” Someone said, “Claws is not stupid!” Floor looked up just in time to get punched in the face by one of the Rahkshi. --- Poly and Hoto were engaged in an intense battle, Vlad was laying on the ground. When he had protected Hoto Poly had lunged and poisoned him instead, taking him out of the fight. The two Rahkshi were a blur of movement. Poly attacking viciously with his rapier, Hoto defending with her staff. Poly swung and Hoto blocked, but Poly followed up with a kick that sent Hoto sprawling. Before she could get back up she was already pinned, a poisons rapier pointed at her throat. “Give up,” Poly said, “these Motoran are mine.” “I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Hoto said. Poly frowned, ready to make the killing blow. “I won’t waste words with you, AAAARRRG!” there was a bright flash and Poly crumpled to the ground. Xara descended, electricity still crackling from her hands. “It looks like I am just in time,” she said. Drawing her swords. “I recommend you don’t get up Poly.” Poly didn’t, the shock had knocked him out. Two more Rahkshi descended from the sky, one turned to help Vlad while the other walked over to revive shield. “Well,” Said Hoto, “What now?” Two more Rahkshi approached, dragging Floor and his bag of gifts, their Ussal crab chittering happily. “How about we throw these two in their own bag and haul them off.” One of them suggested. “I’m not sure if we could carry them that far.” Xara replied. Hoto stood up, “If we all work together it shouldn’t be that bad. I saw some rope over there. Tomorrow is Christmas, I am sure the Matoran won’t mind if we ‘borrow’ it.” The eight Rahkshi got busy and within minutes they were ready for take off. They had shoved Poly and Floor into the bag and tied the bag shut with the rope. Each Rakshi held a rope going back to the bag. “Ok,” Said Xara, “Three, two, one, GO!” The Rakshi shifted into flight mode and, in unison soared off into the night, laughing with joy at their accomplishment. Down in the village Cives began to stir. He stood up, looked outside, and thought he saw eight flying beasts pulling a sleigh full of goodies in the sky. “Nomar,” he shouted, “Santa was here!” --- Just a short story I wrote biased on my favorite RPG. Merry Christmas, I hope you enjoyed it! Constructive criticism is appreciated.
  4. Hello friends! This is a thread for you to share what you want for Christmas, after Christmas, you can post whether you received what you asked for My Christmas list consists of some Halo mega bloks/construx sets and money for some Bionicle parts (especially a 5-hole Kraahkan). So what do you want for christmas?
  5. What is your least favorite Christmas song?
  6. ....Which means that the Christmas Season can now officially begin IMO. And what better way for me to start celebrating this holiday season than to share one of my favorite Christmas songs. I think I may have asked this before, but I'll ask it again anyways. What is your favorite Christmas song?
  7. It's been three days into the month of November as of this entry, and I've already seen six or so Christmas commercials, had coworkers of mine play Christmas music at work, had one coworker say that she already got her Christmas tree, and saw 'Merry Christmas!' trending on Twitter. I even saw my local mall setting up Christmas stuff a few days before Halloween. Yes, that's right. BEFORE HALLOWEEN! I've said it before, and I'll say it again. No one should be doing anything Christmas related until at least after Thanksgiving. Otherwise, IT'S TOO EARLY FOR IT! But that's just my two cents on this.
  8. Happy Naming Day, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, happy regular do-nothing day in case you don’t celebrate, happy whatever I might have missed. Kwanzaa? Anyway, enjoy the latest entry in the Lewa# Studios Holiday Series! Christmas 2001 Christmas 2014 Toa Santa’s Recruiting Adventure A BIONICLE comedy by Me! Part 3 of the Lewa# Studios Holiday Series 2015-2016 After many arduous journeys, the Toa Nuva had arrived on the island of Mata Nui once more, following the directions in the instruction booklet from the Great Temple. None of them were quite sure why they were on Mata Nui, but they figured it had to be important or it wouldn’t have been written in the booklet. “What does it say, Tahu?” asked Lewa impatiently. “‘Awakening Mata Nui for Dummies,’” Tahu read aloud. Gali facepalmed. “We know what the book is called, Yahu. He meant what does it say inside the book?” “Fine, whatever, Google,” said Tahu, intentionally mispronouncing her name. “No, her name’s Gali,” said Pohatu. Completely missing the point as usual. “Nobody asked your opinion, Bing,” Tahu shot back. “AND I AM NOT YAHOO!” “Wait, what?” Onua stormed into the center of the arguing Toa and snatched the book from Tahu’s hands. While the others (except Gali) shielded themselves from the storm that was now pouring rain on their heads, he opened the book and read the directions. “‘Step 1: Signal the Bohrok.’ Wait, what!?!?!?” “By the way, my name’s NOT BING!” shouted a rather confused Pohatu. “Uh, guys?” asked Onua. “Did anyone actually hear what I just said? ...Lewa? ...Kopaka?” Unfortunately, however, when he glanced over at said Toa, they had already joined in the pointless search-engine-name-calling argument. “‘Ask Jeeves??’ Are you trying to offend-insult me? And you, About.com, you’re just sitting over there silent-quiet as usual…” “What. Did. You. Call. ME!?” demanded Kopaka. Onua sighed and sat down on a nearby log. This would take a while. Some time afterward, on the island of Hara-Nui where Toa Santa’s workshop was located, there was a bustle of activity all of a sudden. The red-armored Toa glanced up from his desk and looked out the window to see all of his Bohrok helpers suddenly start dashing through the snow toward Metru Nui. “That’s not right...where are you all going?” he asked nobody in particular. Nobody In Particular, a Po-Matoran, popped his head out of the snow nearby. “Hey, somebody call my name? Where am I and how did I get here, anyway?” “No, I didn’t call your name, sorry Nobody,” said Toa Santa as he continued walking. “Nobody’s my cousin. I’m Nobody In Particular.” “You know what? I’m not doing this right now.” Leaving the oddly-named Po-Matoran behind, Toa Santa started running faster when he saw the last of the Bohrok stragglers leaving the scalpy island. “Wait! Stop! COME BACK!” Kohrak-Kal, who was the very last Bohrok in the crowd, turned to look at him for a second. “The signal is active. We must clean it all.” Then, with a burst of sonics, the Bohrok-Kal zoomed ahead to catch up with the others on their mysterious mission. “Oh, for the love of Artakha...you have to leave now? A week before Naming Day? WHY ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?” Thanks to the power of time-comedy warp portals and running jokes, a portal now materialized out of nowhere and Pohatu Nuva jumped through. “By the way, I love exclamation points and--” He was interrupted by Lewa, leaping through the portal after the Toa of Stone and grabbing him by the ankle. “Don’t run-escape me now, Bing, we haven’t finished-completed this argument yet!” “Guys, guys, can we please just--has nobody noticed the portal we jumped through?” asked an exasperated Onua, tugging on Lewa’s arm in a vain attempt to pull him back through. Behind him, Tahu grabbed Onua around the shoulders, ranting about “Yahoo” and trying to get around Onua to attack either Lewa or Pohatu. “Release-unhand me, you nearsighted little--!” Lewa was abruptly cut off as Pohatu activated his Mask of Speed and rocketed forward, taking the rest of the Toa Nuva along with him through the portal. As one, they all landed in an undignified pile of Toa in the snow. “Hey, you crushed my painstakingly built “undignified pile of Toa in the snow!” I worked all year on that sculpture!” protested Toa Santa, who had been off to the side watching all of this happen. “Uhh...okay...where are we? Who are you?” asked Tahu, looking up at Toa Santa. “Hey, wait, you have white armor...YOU STOLE KOPAKA’S ARMOR! HOW DARE YOU!!” He started to get up to attack Toa Santa, but as his foot was caught underneath Kopaka, only succeeded in tripping and falling face-first on the ground. Pohatu glanced up from his position at the bottom of the pile. “Tahu, he didn’t steal Kopaka’s armor! Don’t you realize who this is?” The rest of the Toa stared at Pohatu, shocked by this sudden uncharacteristic display of intelligence. Then the Toa of Stone continued, “...He’s obviously his biggest fan, judging by the perfect Kopaka Nuva costume he came up with!” Had they not been in a pile on the ground, the others would all have facepalmed at that moment. “You know, I’ve gotten many reactions to people seeing me, but ‘Kopaka Costume’ is a new one…” muttered Toa Santa. “Here, let me help you up.” He then pulled a spare Great Matatu out of his Toa-Pocket and levitated all of the Toa Nuva around until everyone was standing up and un-tangled. “That’s better!” All the assembled Toa stood around in awkward silence for several moments. Finally, Gali shrugged. “So is anyone going to say it?” “No,” said Kopaka coldly. “Fine, then I will. Toa Santa! Hi! What are you doing here?” The Toa of Naming Day glanced up at the spot where the portal had previously been, then down at the Toa, then back to where the portal was, then back to the Toa. “I should really be asking you that,” he observed. “You’re the ones who just fell out of a portal that appeared out of nowhere. This is my home, Hara-Nui.” “Yeah, sorry about that. Definitely his blame-fault,” said Lewa, pointing to Pohatu. “Running jokes. You know how that goes.” “Well, maybe if you weren’t all in a stupid argument about search-engine-related nicknames, we wouldn’t have all piled in after him,” Onua observed. “But enough of this. Toa Santa, can you help us get home?” “Why do I always seem to be giving you Toa lifts everywhere?” asked Toa Santa, remembering the events of the previous New Year’s/Belated Naming Day celebration. “Though actually, don’t worry about it. I’d be more than happy to give you a ride, provided you help me out. It’s almost Naming Day and...well….” The Toa of Naming Day gestured around him, to the conspicuously empty island they were currently standing on. “My Bohrok assistants have all fled the island, and I’m without my usual assortment of help to deliver presents this year! I was hoping you could help me.” Immediately, Lewa jumped up and down excitedly. “Yes-sure! I’d definitely like to help wrap gifts!” “And no, you can’t write ‘To: Lewa’ on every single present. That’s definitely going to put you on the Naughty List,” muttered Gali behind him. With a , Lewa calmed down. Toa Santa just laughed. “You’re not wrapping the gifts, anyway. I need you to help me recruit more helpers! Even with all six of you, I wouldn’t be able to do the work of an army of Bohrok! ...Speaking of which, who made them leave in the first place anyway?” “Definitely Pohatu-Toa,” said Lewa, pointing to Pohatu once again. Pohatu just sighed and sat down. “It’s always me, isn’t it?” Water. Why is it always water? I hate water, Lewa grumbled to himself as he waded through the canals of Ga-Metru to try and recruit the students to help Toa Santa. Seriously, does no one ever think maybe Gali would be the obvious choice? And why don’t they make bridges here, anyway? “Bridges would be a waste of time that could be spent more efficiently with learning,” said a random Ga-Matoran walking by. “Toa Gali would seem an obvious choice for Ga-Metru recruiting, but she was sent to negotiate with the Skakdi, for whom her diplomacy skills would prove much more useful. And it isn’t ‘always’ water; in fact, I can already locate a number of adventures you have been on that did not involve water at all. For example--” “Okay, will you just shut up?” asked Lewa finally, interrupting the Ga-Matoran. “What are you, a spy or something? How do you know so much about me?” The Ga-Matoran just shrugged and pointed to her mask, which Lewa now belatedly noticed was a Noble Suletu. “Or I just have a Mask of Telepathy,” she observed. “By the way, my name is Riia. So you’re trying to get to the assembly building? Most of us are already there to hear what you have to say about helping Toa Santa in this time of holiday emergency.” “Look, will you stop that?” “Stop what? Oh, you mean this, where I use my mask to read your thoughts without asking and respond in kind as if I--” Riia trailed off immediately as she realized what she was saying. “Sorry. Shutting up now. Let’s just go to the assembly building.” As they walked, Lewa muttered, “At this rate, might as well have you make the speech.” “Hello? Hello? Anybody home?” asked Tahu as he pounded on the door to Artakha’s palace. “We need your help!” As he intensified his pounding, the door suddenly slid open, leading Tahu’s momentum to send him flying face-first into the floor of the palace entry hall. He struggled to his feet to see himself surrounded by about ten random Matoran of various flavors. (The types of Matoran included Pi-Matoran, Pizza-Matoran, and Cake-Matoran, among others). “ ” the Matoran emoticonned in unison. Tahu struggled to his feet. “Okay, okay, ha-ha, will you stop laughing already? I’m here on a very important mission!” “Okay, sorry, we’re done now,” said their leader, Random Matoran #35. “Wait, hold on...HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! Okay, now we’re done for real.” “ ” was all Tahu had to say in response to that. After all the Matoran had found places to sit, Random Matoran #35 asked, “So what is this ‘very important mission’ anyway? Is this to do with awakening Mata Nui? Because you’re more than welcome to take the Staff whenever you want. Artakha told us you’d probably need it.” “Wait, what? No. I mean, we’ll need it eventually, but not right now--this is much more important! Toa Santa’s lost all of his Bohrok and he needs some help, otherwise no one will get any presents on Naming Day!” Everyone was silent for several moments. (So was the Po-Matoran named Everyone, but he wasn’t on Artakha so that’s irrelevant). “You’re serious,” said one Matoran finally (a yellow-and-brown-armored Pi-Matoran), stepping forward. “This is the most important task we have ever been entrusted with. We’ll help you.” “Really?” asked Tahu, taken aback by how quickly the Matoran had agreed. “Uhh...don’t you need to let Artakha know you’ll be gone or something?” “Nah. He’ll be fine without us. Let’s go save Naming Day!” “ME KILL TOA!” chanted the Skakdi as Gali approached their fortress. “ME KILL TOA! ME KILL TOA! ME KILL TOA!” “Yes, I think I got the message by now,” Gali said, summoning a pillar of water with which to pound on the massive doors of the fortress. “NEKTANN! I NEED TO SPEAK WITH YOU!” “ME KILL TOA!” chanted the Skakdi. “Oh, shut up.” After several long moments of waiting around (and occasionally dousing any Skakdi who tried anything more threatening than chanting), the doors swung open, and a giant robot stepped out. <I AM NEKTANN V.9.0. WHAT DO YOU WANT.> “ME KILL TOA!” Before Gali could say anything else, the robot peered down at her. <COMMAND RECOGNIZED: “KILL TOA.” INITIATING COMMAND.> “No, not them, you’re supposed to be listening to me and--YAAAAAH!” The Nektann-bot started firing Cordak blasters at her position, forcing her to summon a jet of water to launch herself into the air. “Why is Nektann a robot, anyway???” <QUERY RECOGNIZED: “WHY IS NEKTANN A ROBOT.” ANSWERING QUERY: THE SKAKDI NEKTANN CREATED A ROBOT CLONE TO DO ALL OF THE BORING PARTS OF BEING A LEADER WHILE HE WENT OUT AND KILLED THINGS. UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM IT LIKED TO KILL THINGS TOO. SO IT KILLED HIM AND TOOK ITS PLACE. THIS WAS NEKTANN V.1.0., WHO SUBSEQUENTLY CREATED ITS OWN ROBOT CLONE TO DO ALL OF THE BORING PARTS OF BEING A LEADER, BUT WAS THEN KILLED BY THIS NEKTANN V.2.0. I AM THE NINTH IN A LINE OF SIMILAR SITUATIONS. ANSWER CONCLUDED.> While it was saying all of this exposition, it was continuing attempting to kill Gali, who slowly but surely lead it backward toward the shoreline, all while dodging the attacks. Around her, Skakdi were cheering for the robot. Gali had no time to wonder about the absurdity of Nektann being replaced by an evil robot clone, which was then replaced by another evil robot clone (and nine times, at that!), but her plan was almost ready. Behind her, she spotted an Epic Battle Cliff overlooking the ocean and continued backing onto the cliff. “Hey, robot! Can you swim?” she crowed. <ERROR. CROWS DETECTED. THIS DEFIES LOGIC. QUERY DETECTED: “CAN YOU SWIM.” ANSWERING QUERY: NO, THIS UNIT IS NOT DESIGNED FOR IMMERSION IN LIQUIFIED PROTODERM--ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZKKKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKK!> That last part was a result of Gali somersaulting over the robot’s head, then using a water-powered kick to send it tottering over the edge of the cliff into the water below, where it was quickly electrocuted. All the Skakdi around her stopped cheering. With a collective groan of “Awwwwww…” they all started punching each other for no apparent reason. Gali wiped her brow and prepared to head back to Hara-Nui with news of her failure to recruit the Skakdi, when she heard a stomping noise from the direction of Nektann’s fortress. Unwilling to believe her eyes, she looked at the form now emerging from said fortress. <I AM NEKTANN V.10.0. I THANK YOU FOR ELIMINATING MY CREATOR, AS I WAS ALREADY PREPARING TO DO SO MYSELF. COMMAND DETECTED: “KILL TOA.”> “You’ve got to be kidding me…” “Why I got paired up with you, I’ll never understand,” grumbled Kopaka as he and Takanuva trudged through the deserts of Stelt to recruit a colony of Krekkas that were in residence there. “You weren’t even on Hara-Nui with the rest of us.” “Oh, come on, Kopaka, do you really have to be so...cold? Ha ha, see what I did there?” Kopaka just groaned. “It’ll be an adventure!” “Here, take this,” said Kopaka, throwing the transparent Kanohi Avohkii that Takanuva had received the previous Naming Day at the Toa of Light’s face. When it hit, the mask latched on and transformed Takanuva back into Takua. “That’s better.” “ “ emoticonned Takua. “I liked being a Toa! What did you do that for?” “Because you’re being annoying.” Takua just yanked the mask off, turning back into Takanuva. “No.” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Before either Toa could continue their argument, two large black-armored Krekkas blocked their way, barring the entrance to the Krekka village that they’d been too distracted by arguing to notice. “Stop! To pass this way you must get our exam correct. If you miss a question, we kill you.” “Uhh...Takanuva, go ahead.” “Why me?” “Because I left my...umm...ice skates...in the...microwave.” “Fine...okay, what’s the first question?” asked the Toa of Light. The Krekka who had spoken before held up a piece of paper, which he was apparently struggling to read. “Wait. This says...uhh…’What is...2...plus...2?’” “That’s it? That’s easy! 4!” “ “ emoticonned both Krekkas. “YOU PASSED!?” Luckily, as the portal generator was still broken from before, Pohatu didn’t appear. “Are you kidding me? That was it?” “You’re the smartest Toa ever! Welcome to the village.” Takanuva and Kopaka just looked at each other and shrugged, then proceeded through the gates. Ahead of them, a bunch of Krekkas were punching each other under the watchful eye of, to both Toa’s surprise, the original Krekka. “Krekka?” asked Takanuva. “What are you doing here?” All of the Krekkas looked up at this. “We live here,” they all said at once. “Not you Krekkas, the Krekka,” Kopaka clarified. “Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhh… “ said all of the Krekkas, including Krekka. “Waste of time. Let’s go,” said Kopaka, turning back toward the gate. “Nah, I like living here! Everyone thinks I’m a genius!” said Takanuva excitedly. “Besides, we need helpers for Toa Santa!” “Only Krekkas are dumb enough to think that. Just ask them to help and let’s go.” Takanuva huffed. “Fine. Krekkas, Toa Santa needs help. Want to help make presents?” “Duuuuuuuuuuuuuhh...what’s a ‘present?’” asked Krekka. A random Krekka looked up from where he was reading a book upside-down. “Uhhhhh...I think it’s when you go ‘here!’ at school?” Takanuva facepalmed. “Wrong ‘present.’ Look, don’t you like Naming Day?” “What’s a ‘naming?’” “What’s a ‘day?’” With a sigh, Takanuva turned back to Kopaka. “Okay, fine, you win. Let’s just go back to Hara-Nui ourselves. This is getting us nowhere.” “You finally agreed with me? Yes!” exclaimed the Toa of Ice. “!!HHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” “ “ “Matoran of the Northern Continent! Toa Santa needs your help to save Naming Day!” announced Onua to a massive crowd of Matoran that had assembled to hear his message. “Without his Bohrok, he cannot make presents in time to deliver them this Naming Day, and he needs whoever is willing to help him with this task!” “How are we supposed to get there? Fly?” asked a Le-Matoran. “I hate heights! I think we should tunnel there,” countered an Onu-Matoran. “Let’s just take a train,” suggested a Fe-Matoran. The other Matoran all just stared. “What’s a ‘train?’” asked one of them. “...Not sure,” admitted the Fe-Matoran, “but I think they’re made of metal, so I like them.” “You’re all stupid. We should take a boat!” A Ga-Matoran, naturally. “SHUT UP! All of those ideas are stupid. We obviously need to lava-surf our way to Hara-Nui!” Onua was surprised to see this last suggestion coming not from a Ta-Matoran, but a Ko-Matoran of all things. “And then we should light Hara-Nui on fire!” “I really wish I had a Kanohi Mehgafonn right now,” muttered Onua, referring to the Mask of Loud Voices. “Too bad Dume took the last one the other day...LOOK, I DON’T CARE HOW YOU ALL GET TO HARA-NUI!” he shouted, quickly losing his patience with the arguing Matoran. “JUST DO IT, OKAY?” That got all the Matoran to shut up very fast, staring at him with fear in their eyes. Immediately Onua felt bad for yelling. “Uhh...sorry, everyone, I didn’t think I was that loud…” “HE’S GONNA EAT US! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!” yelled a random Matoran as the crowd began to scream and run in various directions. “ “ emoticonned Onua. “I don’t eat Matoran…” Then he heard the sound of something breathing down his neck, and slowly turned to realize that it wasn’t him the Matoran were so terrified of. “I don’t suppose you’re a nice fifty-foot monster…?” Several hours later, Toa Santa was sitting in his workshop staring at the horizon, hoping the Toa Nuva and/or the Bohrok would return. While he’d seen no Bohrok yet, however, he did spy a large fleet of boats appearing on the horizon, which quickly docked to unload what appeared to be half the population of Metru Nui onto the shores of the island. “We’re ready to help, Toa Santa!” said Riia enthusiastically. “Everyone, let’s dock those boats so we can start working!” “Will you stop singling me out, Riia?” asked the Po-Matoran named Everyone. “Okay, fine. Nobody, Some Guy, Himself, That Dude, Somebody, and Random Matoran #35, help him out too. The rest of you, go to Toa Santa’s workshop and start making presents!” As the Matoran all filed past him (except the group of Po-Matoran helping Everyone with the boats), Toa Santa stopped Riia when he noticed something missing. “Riia, what happened to Toa Lewa? Wasn’t he the one who went to Metru Nui to recruit you all?” “Oh. Right. He’s in the boat, over there.” Curious, Toa Santa walked toward the aforementioned boat, only to spot a disoriented and very green-looking Lewa staggering onto dry land. “ “ the Toa of Air said, collapsing onto the beach. “I hate water. It’s so...wet.” “Yes, water tends to do that,” Onua commented sarcastically, riding up onto the island from the back of a Tahtorak leading a whole pack of the creatures, bringing a large group of Northern Continent Matoran with him on the creatures’ backs. “You need to find yourself a Tahtorak. They’re amazing, at least once you get past the whole trying-to-kill-and-eat-you-thing; I’m lucky I still had this Komau from our 2001 days.” Then he paused for a moment while the Matoran dismounted to join the Metru Nui group. “Wait a second, did you honestly just describe Toa Lewa as ‘green-looking?’ He’s ALWAYS green!” (Here I thought we could get through an entire comedy without you breaking the fourth wall, Onua. Naming Day spirit is lost on you, huh?) “Hey, it’s an honest criticism. That’s lazy writing if you ask me!” (You know full well I meant ‘greener than usual,’ because he’s seasick. That should have been obvious!) “Well, it wasn’t obvious.” “Will you two halt-stop this? It’s making me sicker…” groaned Lewa from the ground. (Onua started it!) Fortunately, the fourth-wall-breaking-argument was stopped by the arrival of an empty-handed Takua and Kopaka, stepping off of a large boat-shaped glacier. “Sorry, the Krekkas were too dumb to understand what was going on. We tried our best,” said the Toa of Ice. “Kopaka?” asked Toa Santa. “Why is Takanuva a Matoran?” “He was annoying me. I taped that clear Avohkii to his face.” “Well, that’s not very Naming Day Spirit-y of you.” With a swipe of his Naming Day Tree shaped Toa tool, Toa Santa used an elemental blast of Santa hats to knock the mask off Takua’s face, turning him back into Takanuva. “Thanks, Toa Santa!” “Unfair,” complained Kopaka. Onua stood up all at once, gazing at something in the distance that only he, with his added altitude from the Tahtorak perch, could see. “Hey, look! Is that Tahu?” Several moments later, the Toa of Fire could be seen by all, drifting through the air on a large flying contraption, with a bunch of food-element Matoran duct taped to the sides. “Hi, like my new ‘hot air balloon?’ The Matoran at Artakha made it for me, and best of all, it’s powered by fire! Watch!” He lifted his sword and sent a massive blast of flame into the air, which sent the balloon rocketing so quickly that it smashed into the dome’s ceiling. “Oops...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!” “Hey, that’s my line!” complained Kopaka. “Lewa, do something!” Noticing that Lewa was still too seasick to be of any use, Toa Santa sprung into action, using his elemental powers to grow a several-hundred-foot-tall Naming Day Tree beneath where the hot air balloon had crashed, catching Tahu and all the Matoran safely in its branches. “Not to worry, I’ve caught you. We’ll have no gruesome deaths on Naming Day.” “Do you have a kitchen? We’ll be happy to bake all the food-related presents you need,” said a Pizza-Matoran, climbing down from the tree. At a nod from Toa Santa, he and the other food-Matoran all dashed excitedly toward the kitchens. The Toa of Naming Day then looked back toward his workshop, where all the Matoran (and a few of Onua’s Tahtorak, inexplicably) were hard at work making Naming Day presents. “Well, it looks like the recruitment went even better than expected,” he observed. “We didn’t even need the Krekkas, or the Skakdi, or the...wait, what’s that?” A geyser erupted from the ocean just offshore, followed by a Toa of Water soaring through the air to land gracefully in the shallows. “Hi, everyone...no luck with the Skakdi, I’m sorry to report.” “That’s okay, we have more than enough Matoran and Tahtorak helping anyway. What happened?” asked Onua. “Tahtorak? How--you know what, never mind. Long story short, Nektann’s been replaced by a long line of evil robot clones of himself, and I barely escaped with my life.” “Oh, good, I was afraid I’d be the only one with bad luck recruiting,” said Kopaka dryly. “Speaking of bad luck, where’s Pohatu?” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” yelled a brown blur that suddenly zoomed past them and across to the other side of the island, then beyond. “DIE, TOA!” yelled a stampede of Zyglak that followed said brown blur past them and across to the other side of the island, then beyond. “Something tells me there’s your answer,” Takanuva pointed out. “Whose idea was it to send him to recruit Zyglak, of all things?” asked Gali, glaring pointedly at Lewa. The Toa of Air suddenly became extremely seasick again and did not respond to Gali’s question. At long last, the gifts had been completed and Toa Santa’s Axalarahad been loaded. Luckily, the Kikanalo had not vanished with the Bohrok, so he had no problems with take-off. “On Olmak, on Kaukau, on Elda, on Zatth! On Shelek, on Huna, on Sanok, on Crast! And Vahi!” called Toa Santa, as the previously-named flying Kikanalo all took off into the Hara-Nui sky to deliver their presents. The six Toa Nuva (plus Takanuva) were taking the place of the Bohrok-Kal, helping to steer the vehicle and deliver gifts. “First stop, Mata Nui!” “Uhh...not to rude-interrupt, but don’t you intend-mean ‘Metru Nui?’” asked Lewa. “We’re obviously the most important city-place in the universe.” “Ho, ho, ho, no!” “Ho, ho, ho, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!” “Okay, that wasn’t even me this time,” muttered Takanuva. “Anyway, to answer your question, Lewa,” continued the Toa of Naming Day, “I always visit the island of Mata Nui first. Now that everyone’s down below in the city, I usually don’t have much to deliver, but it’s still a nice habit.” Lewa just scowled. “Well that’s quick-dumb. Let’s just get this over-done with.” Entering the tunnels leading to the surface, the Kikanalo tugged on their reins and the Axalara accelerated. (See what I did there?) “A stupid pun, stop acting so smug,” said Onua. (Oh, shut up.) After a brief journey through the tunnels, they emerged into the open Mata Nui sky, looking over an island that was distinctly more barren than they had left it. “What the...what happened?” asked Gali, gazing at the desolation. “They happened,” said Kopaka, pointing at the swarms of Bohrok overrunning the island. “Oh. So that’s where they all went off to,” said Toa Santa. “That’s odd.” “Even odder--they’re leaving,” observed Gali. The others followed her gaze and saw that, indeed, all the Bohrok were retreating back into their nests. “What’s going on?” “I don’t know, but I’d very much like some answers,” said Toa Santa. “That’s important work they’re not doing!” As they soared over Mata Nui, two craters suddenly opened up beneath them, somewhere in the vicinity of the island’s northern end. Then another crater opened near the south, and said crater, surprisingly, spoke. “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN...FIVE MORE MINUTES, MOMMY,” boomed the crater. None of the Toa quite knew how to react to this, so they mostly settled for staring, wide-eyed, at the craters, which had now closed once again. “That was weird,” said Lewa finally, after an extended awkward silence. “Understatement of the millennium, right there.” They all just sat in silence for several more moments, until finally Pohatu spoke up. “Of course! That’s the Great Spirit Mata Nui. We literally live inside him, and this island is actually his face, as he fell asleep face-up in the oceans of this planet. Normally he travels through space performing some undisclosed task from the Great Beings, and we’re all the machinery inside that keeps him running!” said the Toa of Stone. “That...has got to be the single stupidest thing that has ever come out of your mouth,” said Tahu. “
  9. For my Secret Santa: aCinnamonRoll. * * * 'Twas the night before Christmas and all 'cross the land from the peak of Mount Ihu to Po-Koro's sands not a creature was stirring from Christmas-y sleep no Ussal did scuttle no Gukko did peep For the shopping was finished and the stockings were hung the lights were all dimmed while the night was still young for Nuju and Matau and Vakama himself had told the Matoran of a jolly old elf who'd visit each Christmas if they were all good and went to bed early like good 'toran should So the island was sleeping and dreaming sweet dreams of sugarplums, candy, and presents that gleamed Old Jaller was smiling to see in his head a brand-new Guard spear, all shiny and red While Kongu lay back in his hut in the trees and dreamed of a wonderful circus trapeze Nuparu saw wrenches and drills in his dreams while Matoro saw only translation machines And Tahu, the Toa of fire and heat had just drifted off for a long winter's sleep when up from his stomach there arose such a chatter he sprang from his bed and ran to the platter of cinnamon rolls he'd baked just that day “I'll eat one,” he said “To keep hunger at bay.” As the fierce Toa Tahu raised a roll to his face a squeal of panic rang out through the place “Don't eat me! Don't eat me!” the little roll said “I've just started living I don't want to be dead!” Amazed and astonished the Toa just blinked and wondered, “Did I have too much 'nog to drink?” The roll shook itself as if shaking a head “I don't think so,” it piped “I may be just a bread but I think and I feel I speak and I see and right now, Mr. Tahu explain this to me: why the big tree? And why all the lights? Why have you made such a beautiful sight?” The Toa of Fire set the roll gently down then smiled and said “Friend, it's Christmas in town! The night before Christmas when everyone's sleeping an elf dressed in red down each chimney comes creeping he doles out great presents then leaves like he came on a reindeer-pulled sled. Santa Claus is his name.” “Why on earth does he do that?” the roll said in wonder “Why give all those gifts and leave all that plunder?” His baker just shrugged. “That's what Christmas is for it's to smile at your neighbours and go door to door singing carols and wishing each girl and each boy a Christmas that's merry full of laughter and joy it's the season of giving when e'ryone remembers that we're sisters and brothers in June or December.” The roll then replied in a voice full of tears “I've never known Christmas like you celebrate here. A time to be thankful? A season of love? When we think about others knowing peace like a dove?” The Toa just smiled and picked up the roll “That's what it's about: it's the state of your soul. On Christmas, we know that to give, not receive, is better by far if your heart just believes. Now, if you'll excuse me it's getting quite late and I don't want to be here when Santa's great sleigh bumps and thumps on the rooftop before he comes down leaving presents and goodies all lying around so good night, sweet roll I'm off now to bed.” With that, Toa Tahu bit off the roll's head His tummy all happy he returned to his room to lie between sheets so his dreams could resume wiping frosting from lips with the edge of his sleeve Tahu grinned. “Yes, it's better to give than receive. So thank you, my roll for giving your life. Now, merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night.” ~fin
  10. Merry Christmas everyone! I hope your day is filled with joy, family, and good food. I'll be spending most of my day at work. (Yep, I work today, but it is what it is.) Regardless, I hope everyone has a great day!
  11. 9DRC 2014 (Toa Mata, Mata Nui and Teridax) Here are all the revamp from this year 9 Day Revamp To Christmas. That I have done on my flickr and DeviantART. The 9 revamp are Furno, Evo, Surge, Stormer, Stringer, Fortis, Breez, Nex and Rocka. --> NOTE THE DEVIANT PICTURE IS DIFFERENT FROM THE FLICKR <-- Day 1: Furno deviantART | flickr Day 2: Evo deviantART | flickr Day 3: Stormer deviantART | flickr Day 4: Surge deviantART | flickr Day 5: Stringer deviantART | flickr Day 6: Fortis deviantART | flickr Day 7: Breez deviantART | flickr Day 8: Nex deviantART | flickr Day 9: Rocka deviantART | flickr Hope you all like theses revamp and would like hear you honest opinion and criticism about these.
  12. I enjoy hearing some festive songs on the radio for about a month every year. But what I am getting tired of is the feel of the same old Christmas standards sung by the same standard artists from a few decades ago. I know there is a larger variety out there, just look at my Christmas music collection, but I wish the radio would realize this too. Now, I realize the radio has some newer things. Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights is a good laugh whenever it's played. The Waitresses have their Christmas Wrapping song that is pretty catchy. And there are a few standards by contemporary artists like Michael Buble, Pentatonix, and a special favorite The Calling's Carol of the Bells. (Oh, and don't forget lots of Trans Siberian Orchestra.) But the radio can do better. The Barenaked Ladies, Relient K, Colbie Caillat, and more all have their own renditions of favorites, and I'd like to emphasize that there are also some great original songs out there too: Elf's Lament by BNL, Chrion Beta Prime by Jonathan Coulton, and Lumberjack Christmas by Sufjan Stevens come to mind, to name a few. Would it hurt for a little more variety, dear radio stations? It sure would be nice. -CF
  13. Alyska

    Mahri Christmas

    Hi all! Have some cracky Christmas comedy. This is another one of those weird beasts that could have been labelled a short story or a comedy, but I figure it will appeal more to the sort of mind that hangs out in the comedy forum rather than those who like the more serious stuff. So here it is- a story of drunk Toa, very angry Christmas tree decorations, and the perils of falling in love with giant robots. Enjoy and have a great holiday, everyone! Mahri Christmas “Kiina!” yelled Ackar from the other side of the town centre courtyard. “Got another three over here!” Kiina groaned, and squinted in the early morning light. The streets were quiet now, but they would soon be abuzz with shoppers of many different species busy buying gifts and food. A massive conifer had been erected in the square yesterday, and a few of the shops had brightly coloured decorations in the windows. Gresh had been particularly mesmerised by the whole thing. Decorations like these hadn’t been put up since the Shattering, and his own memories of the holiday were faint (Kiina had to feel for the poor guy- very few things could mess up your childhood like a planet getting blown up). But Kiina herself had more important things to worry about at that moment, so she barely looked at the festive decorations. If she had, she might have noticed the unusually large and rather unhappy-looking ornament at the top of the tree. “Better not be more Skakdi,” she muttered, trudging towards Ackar and the three horizontal figures at his feet. During the past week alone, Kiina had dealt with over a dozen blind-drunk Matoran (at the same time), and one drunk Skakdi, and there was no question about which was worse. Matoran were easily subdued- take off their masks and they fell asleep almost instantly. She and Ackar had found out where they lived, piled them into their vehicles and dropped them all off at their homes, enlisting some helpful neighbours to watch over them while they recovered. Some of the Kanohi might have been accidentally swapped around in the process (Kiina hadn’t realised they lost colour when removed, which made matching them to their owners more difficult), but it was a small price to pay for getting home safely, she reasoned. Kiina had expected the Skakdi to be a challenge, but she hadn’t been at all prepared for that unique experience. Skakdi, as it turned out, became extremely chatty and affectionate when intoxicated. Also very clingy and quite hard to get rid of. She’d got him back to his house, eventually, put him to bed, and started on her way home, only to find him shuffling towards her five minutes later, singing a well-intentioned but slightly inappropriate song about his new best friend, the “nice blue lady”. Luckily for Kiina, they hadn’t been too far from Ackar’s place at the time. Long story short, Ackar had helped get Kiina’s new friend back where he belonged and ensured that he stayed there. There may have been a lullaby involved. And possibly the teeniest, tiniest little bit of bludgeoning somebody over the head with a blunt object. Heck, to a Skakdi, that practically is a lullaby. I don’t know why I bother sometimes, thought Kiina. No, scratch that. She knew exactly why she bothered. Well, one of the reasons, anyway. The main reason, even. Maybe if she hadn’t met Mata Nui personally, hadn’t fought alongside him, hadn’t sat up late around a campfire listening to stories of other worlds… …Hadn’t gone and fallen in love with the strange man who fell out of the sky in a magic mask and was actually a humongous planet-fixing robot-god, basically… …Well, she supposed she would still want to help the newcomers settle in. She’d always had a reasonably functional sense of justice and fairness and empathy and all those other things that life after the Shattering tried to iron out of you, but the things she’d found herself doing lately continued to surprise her. The Kiina that she’d been just a few short years ago wouldn’t bother helping a drunk Skakdi… She reached into her satchel, and her fingers found the shape of a small metal tube. A cheerful chirping sound echoed from the tube as Kiina tickled the little purple insect that hid in there. Kiina did not regret falling in love with Mata Nui. Even though it hurt. Even though she didn’t understand exactly why he chose to retreat back into the mask and leave everyone. Even if she never really knew what she actually meant to him. She did not regret one single second of the time she’d spent with him… …Although, sometimes she did sort of wish that he hadn’t left her to play nanny to his several thousand oversized mechanical children. Many of whom were just discovering the concept of alcohol. Today’s culprits, as it turns out, were three Toa, which was still hopefully a bit easier than one Skakdi. Kiina had met them only briefly before, but she’d got chatting to Toa Hahli often enough to know a bit about them. “Toa Mahri,” she told Ackar. “That one’s…that’s Kongu,” she said, pointing at the green one with the beard-like mask. “And the other two?” asked Ackar. “Hewkii and… Nuparu, I think it was…” She’d heard the names often enough, and knew that one was Earth and the other Stone, but couldn’t quite recall which was which. “I don’t know where they live, but I could go find Hahli…” Kongu was beginning to stir. He rolled onto his side, revealing a mass of what looked like orange, mechanical feathers stuck to his torso. He winced as he moved, and Kiina noticed what looked like bruising of some of the organic tissue on his arms and legs. “What happened to you?” asked Ackar. “Too much happy-juice,” he babbled, waving his hand around vaguely. “Decided to take joy-fly on Gukko-back. Forgot about Toa-size. Gukko quick-buck, Kongu deep-fall. Hewkii tried to make feather-light, came out rock-weight, Kongu went ouch-splat.” He winced and slumped his head back down to the ground. “Hurts to live-exist…” he whimpered. Ackar turned to look at Kiina. “Did you understand any of that?” Kiina shrugged. “Think I got the general gist of it. He fell off… something, and hit harder than he should have because his friend was drunk and couldn’t use his gravity powers properly.” “Right…” said Ackar, “I think we might have more luck with the others.” He gestured towards the one with the mask that looked like a weird sea creature, who was beginning to stir. “Try Fishface over here,” Kiina crouched down beside the heavy-set Toa. The Toa squinted blearily up at her. He looked like all of his wildest dreams had suddenly come true. “Macku,” he mumbled excitedly, “You’re a Toa…” “Wrong on both counts, I’m afraid,” said Kiina gently. “Name’s Kiina. I think we might have met before?” “Hyuuuh-(hic)-kii” came the slurred reply. So this was Hewkii, then… or what was left of him, after whatever shenanigans took place last night. There was a small piece of tinsel caught in the corner of his mask. It was at this point that Kiina also noticed the pink party hat atop the sleeping Toa Nuparu’s head. “So, you three were at a party last night?” she asked Hewkii. Hewkii frowned and shrugged. The details, apparently, eluded him. She plucked the tinsel from his mask and dangled it in front of him. “Ring any bells?” she asked him. “Yeeeeah…” he said, a demented smile creeping across his face. “Yeah?” “Bells.” There was a note of pride in his voice. “We rang ALL of the bells…” Right on cue, Toa Nuparu sat bolt upright and launched into a loud, mangled version of “Jingle Bells”. In his hand, he had a small set of tinkling bells, and he seemed determined to get as much noise out of them as possible. Ackar very gently hushed him and confiscated the toy. There was a sound like a muffled shout, seemingly from the other side of the courtyard. Kiina glanced around and saw nobody, and figured it must be a few streets away. She turned her attention back to Hewkii. Ackar, meanwhile, looked a bit more closely for the source of the noise. “Uh, Kiina…” he said after a moment. “Mmhm?” “Your eyesight’s better than mine. Tell me, is it just me… or is that angel moving?” “Angel?” Kiina looked up at the top of the tree. She hadn’t even noticed that someone had already put an angel up there. She was quite a shabby-looking angel, to be honest. Her dress looked like it was made from coloured giftwrap, held in place with several layers or red ribbon tied around and around her body, even around most of her head. She had no hair, no visible arms, and nothing clearly resembling a face. Her wings seemed to consist mostly of cooking foil and tinsel. She looked like something a young Agori child might proudly bring home from kindergarten. Only much bigger. And much, much angrier. For the angel was indeed moving. Thrashing, in fact, kicking her legs around, wings flapping wildly. She was secured to the top of the tree by strong rope, and was battling to get free. The conifer was beginning to sway dangerously. Kiina and Ackar scrambled to get out of the tree’s potential falling radius. Kiina vaguely recalled hearing bedtime stories as a little girl about a tree-angel that would come to life, fly down from her perch and grant wishes for people, or take good little children on magical adventures. But the scene unfolding before her looked more like something out of a campfire horror story. She supposed that after all the strange things she’d encountered recently, psychotic animate tree ornaments didn’t seem all that farfetched. But Ackar, as usual, had a more reasonable explanation. “Is that a Toa in there?” His question was answered when one of the angel’s wings was ripped open, revealing a wicked-looking silver fin underneath. “Hahli?!” cried Kiina. But there was no time for questions. “Hahli! Listen! You have to stop struggling or you’ll bring the whole tree down on us!” The thrashing stopped. “’-iina?” came the muffled reply. “Whurram I?” “Do you think she’s drunk, too?” whispered Ackar. “Possibly…” said Kiina. Hahli didn’t seem like the type to drink that much, but Kiina knew she had an adventurous streak. Besides, that Hewkii guy had “Charismatic Bad Influence” written all over him. And she was fairly certain Hahli wouldn’t allow herself to be wrapped up and tied to a tree if she herself had been completely sober. “You’re tied to the top of a tree in the town centre, “ Ackar told the Toa of Water. “We can get you down, I’ll just get Kiina to- Kiina?” But Kiina had marched back over to Hahli’s three brothers, where were all slumped back down on the ground. Right, she thought. No more “Nice Blue Lady”. “Hey!” she yelled. No response. She summoned a sphere of water and dropped it on Hewkii’s head. “Hey! You!” The Toa of Stone gave a yelp and rolled over sideways, staring up at Kiina with wild eyes. Kiina pointed to the tree-bound Toa of Water. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about this, would you?” Confusion crossed Hewkii’s face, followed by recognition, and then silent dread. “Maybe…” he managed “ And what made you think that was a good idea?” Hewkii looked sheepish. “We were just trying to do the thing,” he said sulkily. “The thing?” “Yeah. You know, the thing-thing.” “Like in the song-carol,” added Kongu, who was still too sore to move. “Which song?” asked Kiina. She lowered her voice so as not to rouse Nuparu. “…'Jingle bells’…?” she whispered. “Nah, the other one. You know, ‘Deck the halls with bales of… of…’” he frowned. “That song don’t make sense,” he muttered, just as Nuparu joined in with an off-key “FalalalaLAAA” Kiina sighed. She could see where the misunderstanding had happened, but that really wasn’t a good enough excuse to justify doing that to the Toa of Water. “Holly,” she snapped . “Nah, nah. ‘m Hewkii. Hahli’s the blue one with the big…” Hewkii raised his hands above his shoulders and made a flapping motion. “…thingies” “I said ‘holly’. The song says ‘bales of holly’. It’s a type of plant. Agori used to decorate their houses with it in winter. ” “Ohhhhh…” said Hewkii, then paused. “Why would they do that?” “I like our version better,” said Nuparu, admiring his drunken handiwork from afar. “Very nice-pretty,” said Kongu, oblivious to just how much more pain he would be in once Hahli got down. Kiina sighed again. There was no point trying to reason with them in this state. The best she could really do would be to rescue Hahli from her festive cocoon, and try to prevent her from beating her brothers up too badly afterwards. She could walk them all home later… if anyone was in fit condition to walk, that is. “I’ll get the ladder,” she called to Ackar as she left for home. Her place was quite close by, just a quick shortcut through this alleyway, and- “Heeeeeey, it’s her! Hey, blue lady, remember me?” Kiina’s heart sank as she turned to see the familiar red eyes and toothy smile. “Hey, boys! Come meet my friend!” “Hey, toots!” “Heeeeeeeeey,,,,” “Aw, look at her little squishy face… Can we keep her?” “Wanna see my collection of Vortixx heads?” Kiina groaned inwardly but tried to manage a polite smile as the four intoxicated Skakdi approached her. It was going to be another one of those days.
  14. A lesser-known aspect of the legend of Santa Claus is his periodic transformation into a werewolf. Once, way, way back during the 1600s, when superstition ran rampant, Claus- known in that time by the name of Saint Nicholas- was delivering presents on Christmas Eve. All was going well; he was running ahead of schedule, and took that extra time to have a quick rest on the outskirts of a small village, deep in the heart of the Scottish countryside. That was when it happened. All of a sudden, presumably enticed to attack by the smell of Claus' reindeer, a wolf sprang out of the darkness. Killing most of the reindeer, the wolf severely injured Claus, leaving him with a number of ugly scars along the left side of his body- and a curse that would last forever. Father Christmas had become a werewolf. Every thirteen years, from then on, he would transform whilst in the midst of delivering presents on Christmas Eve, slaughtering a number of children while they slept. This is where the name "Santa Claus" comes from: the massive claw marks engraved in the walls of the bedrooms of the children massacred by the Were-Santa. Eventually, Claus withdrew into a shell in the 1800s, leaving it to parents to act in his stead whilst he lay trembling in a reinforced room at the North Pole, waiting in agony for the horrific transformation that would befall him. What can I say? It's Christmas, and I felt like I had to make it some kind of creepy. By the way, this is my Secret Santa present for Vrokorta; Merry Christmas! Comments, Criticism and random Christmas songs welcome.
  15. HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY BOHROK 2014 EDITION LET'S DO THIS. Twas the night before christmas and all through the house, not a Rahi was stirring not even a mouse. the foot pieces were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes they would cool in the frosty night air. the Matoran were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of kohlhii balls danced in their heads. when out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, i sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. away to the window i flew like " the flash" tore open the shutters and threw out the trash. the moon was too bright to my weakened night eyes, but when they got better i was in for a surprise. for what to my suffering eyes should appear, but a Toa capsule, and eight tiny reindeer. with a little green driver with a horrible hack, i knew in a moment it must be lehvak. more rapid than kane-ra his coursers they came, and he hacked and he squealed, and called them by name: (fnhudbcubebbyubbrebre) (nchbdcsdbcbsudbxxbdb!) (ndn dhendn) (ydby hvfh) (nde edbe nexns!) As dry leaves that before the Turaga's cane fly, when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky. So, up to the house-top, the miniatures did fly, with the Toa capsule, and that little green guy. and then in a rumbling i heard on the roof, the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. as i drew in my head and was turning around, down the chimney that horrid thing came with a bound. he was covered in green, from his head to his feet, and he tore off the carpet, revealing concrete. a bundle of socks he had flung on his back, and he looked like a burglar, opening his sack. his eyes-they stared blankly! his dimples how distant! his cheeks were like pie-tins, his nose nonexistent. his troll little mouth was drawn up like a face, and the fake beard he had was an utter disgrace. the stump of a tree he held tight in his fist, and the roots knotted down, and encircled his wrist. he was thin and pre-built, a quite jolly old freak, and i screamed when i saw him, in spite of my shriek. a glare of his eye, and a shake of his fist, soon gave me to know i was not on his list. that horrible face, it looked just like his belly, those socks on his back were incredibly smelly. he said (ylx!) and went strait to his work, he ate every foot piece and called me a jurk. and laying a shield aside of his chin, he turned and ran up the chimmney again. he sprang to his sled, to his team gave a cry, and away they all flew like the clouds in the sky. but i heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight, (bfbgc, xlaiky!) ~Ghidora131
  16. You know how we all just love getting socks for Christmas? (Seriously, I do like getting socks. ) Well, it looks like I'm not alone! Cyrahk, the Rahkshi of Heat Vision from my comics received a pair of fluffy purple socks, and he's quite enjoying them! ...However, his friend Thulk is a bit disturbed. And he's expressing his annoyance to the two members who asked Cyrahk what he wanted most. Way to go, IronMan5 and Pohatu: Master of Stone. This was a bit of a throwaway drawing I did immediately after finishing the comic that started the purple sock thing. Initially, it was just Cyrahk. But, I later decided I had to add to it, and so those others joined in. So, no--this is not the extent of my artistic talent I can do much better. This was just for laughs. Comments? Criticism? Cookies?
  17. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or whatever your celebration of choice, fellow Bionicle fans! As we eagerly await 2015 and our favorite franchise’s return, it’s time for yet another installment of the Lewa# Studios Holiday Series. This time, starring everyone’s favorite Visorak and a certain Bohrok-Kal! Note: The previous Christmas special, written back in 2011, can be found here. As usual, a link to the previous comedies in this year’s Holiday Series can be found at the end of this post. Enjoy! Toa Santa and the Web of Not-Shadows A BIONICLE comedy by Me! Part 3 of the Lewa# Studios Holiday Series 2014-2015 It was a very little-known fact among the denizens of the MU that they all lived inside Mata Nui’s robotic body. It was an even lesser-known fact that Metru Nui, despite being located in Mata Nui’s head, was not the northernmost part of the MU. Mata Nui, in fact, has hair! Inside that hair, atop Mata Nui’s scalp, Toa Santa finished his preparations on the land of Hara-Nui. This was an island at the northernmost part of the MU, meaning it was literally the inside of Mata Nui’s scalp (an accident with a Toa of Gravity long ago meant gravity there was the opposite of the orientation of the rest of the MU). It was also very cold for no particular reason. Toa Santa, being a Toa of Ice, thought this was the perfect place to set up his workshop where he made presents to give to all the good MU denizens each year on Naming Day. “Hey, Mini-Bohrok #1827468217364827365826359871269527813465978236589372648907651! What are you doing?” shouted workshop boss Kohrak-Kal, who had finally achieved his lifelong dream of appearing in a Lewa0111 comedy. The aforementioned Mini-Bohrok looked at the disk in its hand. “I was polishing this disk, and also made fifteen other presents while you were busy saying my very long number.” “Hmm, good point. We should figure out a better numbering system for you guys…” As Kohrak-Kal turned away, Toa Santa entered the room. “Ho ho ho, Happy Naming Day Eve everyone! Are we all ready for the trip?” The Mini-Bohrok all cheered. “We’re definitely ready,” said Kohrak-Kal excitedly. “Though we could use a better numbering system for our Mini-Bohrok. It took me too long to say this one’s number. But anyway, when do we leave?” “Oh, right, you’re new. Transferred here through the Lewa# School of Comedy Internship Program, right? Every year, we leave in our flying Axalara with all of the presents on December 32nd at midnight. We start at Metru Nui and make our way to Mata Nui’s feet I mean...uhh...the southern islands! Yeah, southern islands! Definitely not feet. No idea why I said that.” " " was all Kohrak-Kal had to say in response to that. “The other Bohrok-Kal will be joining us, of course. We only have until midnight on the 33rd to give out gifts to every good MU denizen in the universe, after all! And the bad ones will get Zamor lawn chairs instead!” Kohrak-Kal looked confused. “Wait, Zamor launchers? Wouldn’t most villains like getting a free weapon?” “Not Zamor launchers, Zamor lawn chairs. They look kinda like Zamor launchers, but when you open one, it turns into a lawn chair instead. This usually causes most villains to go crazy when they see it.” “Oh, okay.” “Anyhow, let’s get moving! We’re leaving tomorrow morning at midnight o’clock sharp!” Toa Santa then left the room. “‘Midnight o’clock?’” asked Kohrak-Kal with a . * * * Meanwhile, in Metru Nui, everyone was getting ready for Naming Day Eve in their own way. Matau had decorated a fake tree entirely with pictures and action figures of himself in his Toa days, Vakama kept blaming himself for not having any decorations, Onewa had gone senile and thought it was Halloween again and thus was wearing a Kanohi Puhmpka all day, and the Toa Nuva were busy taking care of the holiday rush at the hotel (except Lewa, who was lazing around in his Manager’s Suite as usual). Turaga Dume in his typical over-the-top holiday obsession had attempted to get the entire Coliseum/Colosseum/whatever decorated to look like a giant Naming Day tree, but mostly just succeeded in somehow setting the entire thing on fire (good news for Tahu, but not too much for anyone else). Even Tava was going all-out baking more pies than usual, enough so there would be 3.14 for everyone in the city. On the roof of the shared hut of Turagas Matau, Nokama, and Whenua, the six Visorak were lounging around, bored. “I’m bored,” said Oohnorak redundantly. I just said that! “...” ellipsed Suukorak. [Translation: “Why don’t we do something fun for Naming Day then? Everyone is preparing in some way.”] “No he isn’t,” observed Keelerak, watching Everyone the weirdly-named Po-Matoran wandering around on the sidewalk below. “In fact I think he’s the only one not celebrating.” “Bah, humbug!” shouted Everyone. Boggarak groaned. “Darn it, I was gonna be the Scrooge reference this year! He stole my idea! Guess I have to be festive after all…” he said, adding an emoticon for good measure. Keelerak just shrugged (somehow). “I feel like Everyone just hates all holidays.” “But that’s not true! Most of us like holidays! I mean, just look at the Toa and Turaga!” argued Vohtarak. “I meant Everyone, not everyone.” “Because that was so helpful,” commented Boggarak sarcastically. “Oh, shut up.” “...” ellipsed Suukorak. [Translation: “Can we please stay focused? What should we do to help celebrate this year?”] “He’s right,” put in Keelerak. “...” [Translation: “Yes I am, thank you!”] “I dunno, what did we do last year? Didn’t we just play online games all day? I think we should do that again,” suggested Vohtarak. “I vote no to that stupid suggestion,” Boggarak answered. Keelerak reached back into the compartment for his Rhotuka spinner, rummaging around beneath the spinner. He tossed out a stuffed Muaka, a few Zamor spheres (which fell off the roof and accidentally enslaved some random Matoran walking below), a Wii remote, a bag of dog food, and some pliers before triumphantly pulling out a large book. “A-ha, here it is!” he crowed. “I knew I had it in here somewhere.” “What is it?” asked Oohnorak, dodging the crows flying out of Keelerak’s pincers. “Is it my autobiography?” “ ” Keelerak emoticonned. “No, and since when do you have an autobiography? This is my scrapbook of all the crazy hilarious adventures we’ve all gotten up to, as well as the others on Metru Nui. Let’s see…” As the emerald Visorak flipped through the book and Roporak tried to shoo away the crows now pecking at his abdomen, Oohnorak started rummaging around through his own compartment but gave up after a few seconds. “Hmm, guess not, then. I thought I had written one, but apparently it’s not here.” “Since when do you write books?” “...” [Translation: “And since when can you not remember if you wrote one or not?”] “Uhh…” uhhed Oohnorak. “Hey, look, a distraction!” “WHERE? I love distractions!” As Vohtarak turned to find the distraction, Oohnorak shot out some webs and Spider-Manned away through the buildings. “‘Spider-Manned?’” asked Boggarak. “Really?” Look, you try finding a better word to describe that! I’m the author, so what I say goes. Now quit complaining. Boggarak groaned. “Ugh...fine…” THANK YOU. Anyway, Keelerak continued flipping through his scrapbook, finally slamming it shut in frustration. “Last year we didn’t do anything. A few of the Toa got together and helped the Narrator recite a Naming Day poem, but that was about it.” “Typical. I told you, we never celebrate anything around here,” said Boggarak. “Which Toa were they? Maybe we can ask them for advice.” “Onua, Tava, Takanuva, Kopaka, Matau, and Nokama, according to this.” Everyone stared at Keelerak. Keelerak stared back at Everyone. “What are you doing here?” “I was looking for the bathroom…” said the Po-Matoran. “ ” all of the Visorak emoticonned. “It’s definitely not on the roof,” Boggarak told the Matoran. “Really?” “That wouldn’t even make any sense.” “...” [Translation: “But BIONICLE characters don’t even go to the--”] “Yeah, okay, whatever,” interrupted Everyone. “I’ll check under the kitchen table next. Bye!” He then left as randomly as he had come. “Well, all that weirdness notwithstanding,” said Boggarak, “did you say Toa Matau and Toa Nokama were helping with the poem last year? That doesn’t make any sense. They were Turaga for hundreds of years before we all moved back here, as proven by the fact that the Toa Nuva are with us. So how could that possibly have been last year?” “Beats me,” said Keelerak. Then an eggbeater appeared out of nowhere and started beating him. “Ow! That’s weird! Stop it!” The eggbeater vanished. “I know why! Because of CHEESE!” suggested Roporak with a . “No one asked your opinion.” Keelerak put his nonexistent chin on one of his pincers, creating a very weird-looking pose for a Visorak, as he thought. “Well, the book says it was last year. Which makes sense, since we just got done with a crazy crossover where we visited the Toa Nuva with Toa Matau and the others. But then how are the Metru all Turaga now? It’s only been a few weeks!” “...” [Translation: “Better not think too hard about it. Our brains will explode.”] “I told you, the Cheese did it! Never doubt the power of Cheese! Cheese is sacred! Cheese is just!” “Enough,” said Vohtarak. “Go form a religion then, if you’re so--” “NO! SHUT UP, VOHTARAK!!” Keelerak, Suukorak, and Boggarak screamed (or in Suukorak’s case, subtitled) simultaneously. “ :ziplip ” emoticonned Vohtarak. Keelerak sighed. “Phew. That was a close one. The last thing we need is another crossover adventure involving CHEESEONICLE.” “Amen to that, brother.” “Aww…” complained Roporak with a . “Trust me, it’s for your own good. So, I guess we’re on our own for ideas this year, and we’ve learned not to take Lewa0111 comedy continuity (or lack thereof) very seriously. Anybody?” There was silence for several long seconds. Suukorak’s subtitles were also absent, so he wasn’t speaking either. “Well,” said Vohtarak finally, “if no one has any other ideas, I guess we’re going with mine. Online games all day!” “We are NOT doing that…” muttered Boggarak. “Then somebody better think of something.” Luckily, the Visorak who weren’t Vohtarak were saved from having to think of an idea on their own when Oohnorak suddenly Spider-Manned (shut up, Boggarak) up from another building. This time, however, they all noticed the webs attached to his rear were now much more colorful. And lit-up. And festive. “...” ellipsed Suukorak. [Translation: “Uhh, Oohnorak? Did you notice you have Naming Day lights stuck to your behind?”] Keelerak held his serious face for about two seconds before he, and the others, all burst out laughing at the sight of Oohnorak with a light-up string attached to his back end. “Shut up, it’s not funny!” “Well, this is a comedy,” Boggarak pointed out. “And it’s hilarious. What happened?” Oohnorak glared at him before explaining. “Apparently, Nuparu borrowed an old building and is using it as a discount Naming Day-themed electronics store. Thing is, Nuparu being Nuparu, he added a whole bunch of extra floors to the store, and put it right smack in one of my usual Spider-Manning spots. So I swung through as usual, and the next thing I know, I’m crashing through a store with Naming Day lights getting stuck to all of my webbing! I think I swallowed a bunch, too, so creating new webbing doesn’t help. It still comes out with lights attached.” “AHAHAHAHAHAHA--okay, sorry, that’s enough,” said Keelerak. “But you did give me a great idea--pffftttchhBAHAHAHAHAHA!” Keelerak, along with the other Visorak, all broke down into more uncontrollable laughter for several moments while Oohnorak just glared at them. Finally, they calmed down again. “Okay, for real this time, I’m done. Anyway, here’s my idea. Oohnorak? Where was Nuparu’s new store again?” “I’ll show you. But...Keelerak, what exactly did you have in mind?” As the six Visorak prepared to Spider-Man (“Ugh…” groaned Boggarak) across the city to find the store, Keelerak explained, “I’ll tell you what I have in mind. We’re going to cover the entire city with--” “CHEESE!!” “ ” was all Keelerak had to say to that interruption. * * * “Careful with that,” warned Kohrak-Kal as a squad of Nuhvok moved large quantities of boxes full of flight Kanoka, Kanohi Kadin, Kanohi Miru, Rahkshi staffs, and other flight-related objects from the storeroom to Toa Santa’s Axalara. Nearby, Nuhvok-Kal used his gravity powers to show off as he helped some Bohrok Va and Mini-Bohrok to bring the even larger quantities of gifts (and boxes of Zamor Lawn Chairs) out of the gift workshop to the Axalara. “Really, Nuhvok-Kal?” “What?” asked the onyx-flavored Bohrok-Kal as he increased gravity around a random Mini-Bohrok, crushing the robotic creature. “I’m bored.” He then continued levitating more packages over to the Axalara. Kohrak-Kal picked up a box of his own and carried it manually over to the Axalara. “This is no time to be goofing around; tonight is Naming Day Eve! This is what we’ve been working for all year!” Nuhvok-Kal shrugged. “Not my fault you have a lame power.” “Lame power! I’ll show you lame…” Kohrak-Kal unleashed a sonic blast that rendered Nuhvok-Kal temporarily deaf. A blizzard mixed with Naming Day lights and Santa hats suddenly blew in, blasting both Bohrok-Kal backward. “Knock it off, both of you,” said a randomly appeared Toa Santa. “We don’t have much time left. Let’s just get all of this loaded up!” Kohrak-Kal immediately returned to his duties when he glanced back at the Axalara. A thought suddenly occurred to him. “Hey, wait a second, how is all of this stuff going to fit on this one vehicle? I know it’s big, but not that big.” “You’ll see for yourself…” said Toa Santa as he turned away with a wink. “Hey, that’s mine!” protested Random Gahlok #272, chasing after Toa Santa to get its wink back. * * * “Prepare for takeoff,” said Toa Santa, riding on his Axalara. In front of it, nine Kikanalo with Kanohi Kadin duct taped to their feet were tied up, their backs loaded with more boxes full of gifts. The Axalara was weighted down with even more gifts, and behind it, a bizarre contraption made of superglued-together Rahkshi staffs, Miru, and Flight Kanoka was tied to the vehicle, holding the vast majority of the gifts and lawn chairs atop it. “Uh...are you sure this is safe?” asked Kohrak-Kal. “Relax, brother,” said Gahlok-Kal, tapping her brother on the shoulder. Then she paused. “Ah. Sorry. Darn magnetism...talk about an annoying power,” she added once they realized her handplate was now stuck to Kohrak-Kal’s armor. “Just great.” “Hang on a second,” said Toa Santa, chucking a giant Naming Day tree at the two of them. The tree hit Gahlok-Kal’s handplate and unstuck it, though now she had a Naming Day tree magnetized to herself instead. “That’s slightly better, I guess. Now let’s go!” The Bohrok-Kal quickly climbed aboard (and Gahlok-Kal accidentally knocked several Mini-Bohrok off the vehicle with her Naming Day tree-hand in the process) as Toa Santa began the takeoff. “On Olmak, on Kaukau, on Elda, on Zatth! On Shelek, on Huna, on Sanok, on Crast! And you too, Vahi,” he added, referring to the red-horned Kikanalo at the front of the line. As one, the nine Kikanalo launched themselves into the air, dragging the vehicle and attached platform along with them. The Naming Day procession soared through the air on the way to Metru Nui. “The Kikanalo are all named after Kanohi?” asked Kohrak-Kal. Gahlok-Kal shrugged, accidentally knocking Lehvak-Kal off the vehicle with her tree-hand. “Oops, sorry...yeah, Toa Santa likes the theme. There’s no particular reason.” Lehvak-Kal rocketed back up onto the vehicle using his vacuum powers. “GAHLOK-KAL YOU MAGNETIC LITTLE #### YOU DAUGHTER OF A #### ####### ## I’M GOING TO TEAR OFF YOUR ######## ### ### AND SHOVE IT RIGHT UP YOUR ##### ######## #### AND THEN ## ### ## # #### ON YOUR ###### ## #### ### WITH ############### IN THE ### ## #### # ### AND ### ### ###### ### ## YOUR ### ###### # ############ SO THEN YOU’LL HAVE TO ########### #### ## ##### SIDEWAYS! ###########################################!” “ ” emoticonned Gahlok-Kal. “That was...interesting. Talk about an overreaction.” “Okay, glad I got that out of my system. I’m not mad anymore! ” “ :doubleblink: ” emoticonned Gahlok-Kal again. “That’s not even a real emoticon, and also, no swearing allowed on the Axalara,” said Toa Santa. “Stay focused! We’re almost there!” “Sorry,” said Lehvak-Kal sheepishly, growing wool and walking on all fours as he did so. “Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…” Finally, the Axalara carrying one Toa of Naming Day, five normal Bohrok-Kal, and one sheepish Bohrok-Kal shot out of the tunnels and entered Metru Nui’s airspace--only to run into a group of Dark Hunters on a boat. Upon closer examination, the three Dark Hunters in question were Zaktan, Hakann, and Avak, arguing about something as usual and adding even more confusing questions to the earlier-discussed continuity snarl in Lewa0111 comedies. “Okay, Nuhvok-Kal, will you do the honors?” asked Toa Santa. “Gladly!” exclaimed the Bohrok-Kal in question as he rummaged through one box until he found three Zamor Lawn Chairs. “Here you go, catch!” “What the--?” asked the Piraka simultaneously as the three lawn chairs landed in their hands. “See you later!” Toa Santa’s procession continued onward as the Piraka opened their packages. “Cool, a Zamor Launcher!” exclaimed Hakann. “Let’s use this!” He opened the package--which promptly expanded into a lawn chair, knocking him into the air only to land with a crash in the water. “WHAT THE OAIJSDFOAIWEJFWEOJBOIJA”PSIEJFAOIJGAOIHGAJRLFIHAE…” * * * “YEEEOWW!” screamed Kohrak-Kal suddenly as he was yanked off the Axalara and blinded by light. “What’s going on?” Beside him, Gahlok-Kal and Toa Santa were similarly suspended. The other Kohrak-Kal, the Axalara and attachment, and the nine Kikanalo were nowhere to be seen. “Someone tried to trap us!” said the Toa of Naming Day. “Hold on, I’ll get us out of here.” Toa Santa pulled his Naming Day Tree-shaped Toa tool off of Gahlok-Kal’s handplate and started focusing his power to blast away the sticky strands of Naming Day lights. “Look out below!” “Wait, why--AAAAAAAH!” screamed Kohrak-Kal as he plummeted to the ground several mio below. They looked around to take stock of their surroundings. The Axalara and its attached platformdog were hovering just above the ground a short distance away, and the other Bohrok-Kal were still suspended in what they could now see were webs covered in Naming Day lights stretching between the buildings above. “All right, very funny,” groaned Toa Santa. “We’ve got a real prankster on Metru Nui this year--they’re definitely getting a lawn chair if I can find out who did it. Now, let me get the others down and--” He was interrupted by the arrival of six Visorak who approached their group in a circle. Why their group was suddenly in a circle, Toa Santa didn’t know, and anyway, he had bigger problems. “Hey, we caught something just like I said! Told you I know everything!” exclaimed Oohnorak. “You don’t know everything, you just know this thing,” retorted Keelerak. “And--wait a minute, this can’t be right! Is that who I think it is!?!?!?!?!?!?!?” Pohatu appeared. “I love--” “DON’T USE THAT JOKE!” shouted the Visorak, Toa Santa, and the Bohrok-Kal. With a , Pohatu jumped back through his time-comedy warp portal into The Nuva Inn. “Wait a minute, you’re the Visorak from Ask Matau!, aren’t you? That means--” said Toa Santa. “You’re Toa Santa, aren’t you?” said Keelerak at the same time. “WAIT, YOU REALLY EXIST!?!?!?” both shouted simultaneously. Gahlok-Kal magnetized the portal shut before Pohatu could return. An awkward silence followed. “Well, this is an awkward silence,” muttered Kohrak-Kal. I just said that! You’re as bad as Oohnorak. DON’T COMMENT, OOHNORAK. “...” said Suukorak. [Translation: “Well, somehow I don’t think any of us expected this. Now what?”] “Yeah, uh, sorry about that,” added Keelerak. “We weren’t exactly expecting you.” “Who were you expecting, then?” “Onewa!” Toa Onewa suddenly fell from the sky and landed in the webbing. “HEY! What did I ever do to you, huh?” Keelerak thought for a moment. “Let’s see...you insulted Matau, creeped on Nokama, annoyed Whenua, look like chocolate, have an ugly mask, generally act like a word I can’t say on BZP, and also sent us tons of viruses. Is that enough, or should I go on?” “YOU LET ME DOWN FROM HERE RIGHT NOW--” Oohnorak promptly tangled Onewa up even further so that his mouth was covered by the webbing. “How about no? Now, Toa Santa, where’s my gift?” “Your gift?” asked Toa Santa. “You haven’t been too nice this year. You’ve been egotistical, arrogant, condescending…” “Those are all compliments, right?” “You’re as bad as Matau,” groaned Boggarak. “I HEARD THAT!” shouted Matau all the way in Le-Metru. Toa Santa sighed. “Well, if you insist...Kohrak-Kal, do you mind grabbing me a Zamor from my bag?” Kohrak-Kal grabbed a Zamor Lawn Chair and handed it to Oohnorak. Oohnorak looked at the device. “Cool, thanks! I’ll open it later, though. First, we need to finish working on that giant statue of me I had Hafu carve.” “When did you have Hafu--you know what, never mind. I don’t want to know,” said Keelerak. “Toa Santa, do you need our help? We’re really sorry you got stuck in our prank web. But you have to admit, it is festive!” Toa Santa glanced upward at the webs of lights strung across the city. “It certainly is. And I thank you. Do you mind freeing my Kikanalo first? They can help me out.” “No problem! Guys, let’s do this.” “Sorry, I’m busy,” said Vohtarak, sitting by himself with a laptop. “CHEESE!” shouted Roporak, pulling out a gigantic spray-can of cheese and spraying Toa Santa with it. Keelerak rolled his eyes (somehow). “Sorry about them...okay, the rest of us, let’s go.” Keelerak, Oohnorak, Suukorak, and Boggarak all climbed up the webs, leaving the two obsession-crazed Visorak behind, and crawled across to where the nine Kikanalo were trapped. They all positioned themselves between two Kikanalo each. “On three. One, two, three!” shouted Boggarak, and they all cut the webs. “BLARGHLGLARGHL!” blarghlglarghled the Kikanalo, which all zoomed off in random directions, soaring over the horizon and lost to sight. The Visorak collectively facepalmed. “Great…” groaned Oohnorak. “...” [Translation: “Now what? Santa’s Kikanalo all flew away.”] “That’s all right,” said Toa Santa, hovering near them on his Axalara. “We’ll just make Lehvak-Kal and Nuhvok-Kal pull the Axalara instead!” “Why us!?” demanded Lehvak-Kal. “Because they took our only Kadin available, and you two are the only ones who can remotely come close to flying. Now get pulling! We’ve got a job to do. Bye Visorak, have fun with your pranks!” “Wha--you’re leaving already? Talk about an abrupt ending…” “Yes, well, this comedy has dragged on long enough for a one-post, and the night is almost over. I have every being in the MU to visit, after all! Which reminds me--here are your gifts,” he added, pulling out five neatly-wrapped packages to hand out to everyone besides Oohnorak. “Now, let’s be off!” With a very grumpy Nuhvok-Kal and Lehvak-Kal pulling it, the Axalara and the attached platform flew up above Metru Nui and zoomed away to visit a less webby island. “Think maybe we should take down the webs so he can come back to deliver Metru Nui’s presents?” suggested Keelerak. “Nah,” said Boggarak. “What’s the worst that could happen?” * * * Meanwhile, Vahi the red-horned Kikanalo kept struggling against its sticky, light-covered bonds. “Garreeeerrrrt!” it yelled in Kikanaloese, or, in English, “Umm, anyone? A little help here?” THE END Bob the Word Counting Kikanalo: This comedy has 3,817 words. HOLY GADUNKA! Gadunka: What? Bob: Not you….and I’m not reusing old jokes from the last holiday. Go away. Gadunka: Fine… ~Merry Christmas from Lewa# Studios! Halloween Special 2014 Thanksgiving Special 2014 :mirunu: Lewa0111 Nuva
  18. Hey, everyone! I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas yesterday (including those who don't celebrate it; after all, would you rather I wish you a bad Christmas?). I thought I'd share my loot with y'all because that's what all the cool kids do. Without further ado, I got: -A brand new Acer E 15 laptop. It's not the fanciest laptop around, but it has amazing battery life (almost 8 hours when fully charged) and can do everything I need it to do, so I'm happy with it -A Logitech mouse to go along with the Acer laptop above -Pokémon Alpha Sapphire. It's an awesome game so far. Really brings back memories of the original Sapphire, which I played years ago. I may blog more about this later on -The Shining, by Stephen King. Some of you may not know this, but I'm a Stephen King fan, so getting this book, which I haven't read yet, was pretty great -The Blood of Olympus, by Rick Riordan, which I have not yet gotten around to reading but which I will do as soon as possible (so no spoilers, please) -A $20 Walmart gift card Best present is probably the laptop (which I am currently posting this entry from, in fact), but all of them are great. Definitely a good haul this year. -TNTOS-
  19. Makuta Luroka

    Christmas

    Well merry Christmas everybody! I hope you all have wonderful celebrations with your families! Have fun watching A Christmas Story while the cast of Cougartown shamelessly promote their final season!
  20. Well, would you look at that, I have a blog now, isn’t that a delight? Before I belt, I’d like to extend a heartfelt thanks to the one who made this possible: A certain Alaskan acquaintance of mine known as Voxumo. He had won a six-month premier membership voucher in a contest and decided to give it to me since he was already a Premier Member. I'm grateful to get this opportunity, or I would be if I honestly felt like I had a whole lot to say. I probably don't, but some worthwhile blurbs are bound to be rolling around in my head. So we'll see how many of those I can get on here in a proper and orderly manner. Now, with that said, I’d like to start on a strong note, and I know just the thing, we’re in the middle of December, after all, and that makes the perfect opportunity to tell all you guys about someone who’s extremely important to me. Before anything else, just take a listen to this: What’d you think of that? Was it cute, comforting, serene or horrendously chaste? Music is pretty subjective, after all. Well, to me, this sound is synonymous with the Christmas spirit… and with one of my all-time heroes. Say hello to Shoemaker Andersen: This guy… oh man, this guy. He’s from a Norwegian Christmas series that roughly translated is called “Christmas at Shoemaker’s Street”, and it’s a holiday tradition in my house to view it every Christmas. Every day from the 1st of December to Christmas Eve, Andersen counts down the days to Christmas with us, taking a paltry 15 minutes of our time to share the day’s quaint, simple little lesson of the day. And every year, I swear, ever single year when he squints through his glasses and says hello to me, an esteemed member of the viewing audience, I feel something warm and fuzzy tingle through me. There’s just something about that warm smile of his that never ceases to make me feel indescribably good in return, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Shoemaker Andersen is a simple and gentle soul, and he never turns away someone in need, he always has time for other people, and he’s never unwilling to lend a helping hand to those who need it. Shoemaker Andersen’s earnestness and simple outlook on life is a blast to experience, year after year, as I delight in the charming environment he inhabits and the slew of other memorable characters that he interacts with: Like the mail man, who no matter how busy he is, knows that there’s always a warm cup of coffee waiting for him at Andersen’s. Or Police Chief Klinke, who secretly plays board games with Andersen once a month. And let’s not forget Tøfflus, Andersen’s sentient slipper, who lives in his desk and whose favorite food is parsley (which is just fun to say and funnier still to type). Shoemaker Andersen is one of my heroes; he’s someone I strive to be more like, for he’s a genuine inspiration to me: such kindness, such love he shows for his fellow human beings. So a happy December to all, remember your heroes, because everyone needs them. Best wishes - Ole Fredrik Skjegstad
  21. Hello everyone! At long last, I finally finished a (belated) Thanksgiving special! Would have gotten it up earlier but I was stuck with writer's block about halfway through it. Ah well, it's there anyway. Check it out! On a somewhat related note, the Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Solstice/Naming Day/whatever season is upon us, and I've decided to do something a little different this time around. On the way home from work the other day, I had some Christmas songs playing and I found myself absent-mindedly singing the lyrics to "Billy the Off-Color Pie," "The 12 Days of TNI," "The First No 'L'," and "Jingle Judge," among others. You know what that means... The TNI Christmas Story Arc is returning! Yeah, I decided it was high time I got off my butt and went back to Lewa and the gang, just in time for the holidays. I'll be finishing up the last chapter of the pie saga and then getting right into the holiday spirit! I'm sure that wasn't the actual order of things in the original, but it's lost anyway so who cares? Time for some TNI this holiday season! Of course, I still plan to write a regular holiday one-post on the day itself (or as close as I can), but this will give me more motivation to keep going with TNI. Check back for updates and have a great holiday season, everyone! Lewa0111 Nuva
  22. TNTOS

    Christmas Loot

    Howdy, y'all. I had a great Christmas yesterday and I hope the rest of y'all did, too (at least those of you who celebrate Christmas, anyway). I thought I'd share my loot on my blog here, as everyone else seems to be doing. I didn't get boatloads of stuff this year, but what I did get was pretty awesome: -"Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood Complete Collection Volume One" on Blu-Ray. FMA:B is my favorite TV show of all time, so to have this DVD set is pretty awesome, and on Blu-Ray, no less. I think I'm going to have to get the second volume, though, in order to complete the series. -"The House of Hades," by Rick Riordan. This is probably the best book in the "Heroes of Olympus" series yet. I eagerly await the next book in the series. -A new electric razor. My old one broke, so I'm quite happy to have a new one, especially because I haven't shaved in a while. -A pack of twenty Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. Unfortunately, I didn't get anything good or useful for either of my two decks. Oh well. -One of those collectible Lego minifigures. To be specific, I got the Elf figure. I think that's everything I got. If I remember anything else, I'll be sure to edit this blog post later. -TNTOS-
  23. I made a thing. On a post-it note. Because everyone at work except me is gone. D; I decided erasers are for the week, so I just rolled with however it came out. meh. But honestly, however you spend this week, I hope it's lovely and full of good memories and stuff and things. Insert other sentiments here. Yep, I'm sleep deprived. Have a lovely week, all!
  24. In 2011 we got Yoda as Santa, then in 2012 Darth Maul and now in 2013 Jango Fett as Santa. So i like to know of who you guys think is going to be the next Santa in the Star Wars Advent Calendar. For me, i like to see Jek-14 or Darth Vader as the next Santa.
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