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Showing results for tags 'Reading Material'.
Found 5 results
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Parsley, saaaaaave Rosemary in tiiiiiiiiiiime!
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*prances throughout her university hallways and passes through her Blog* I would make you all help me out with this like HahliHusky has been doing, but I know none of you know this ditty! FOR SHAME. You gotta keep the beat with your hands - pat them on your lap or on the table, then clap, back and forth for a one-two-one-two beat. The first word, Flea, takes two beats (lap, clap) and when the crowd repeats 'flea', it takes the second two beats. No, I don't expect ANY of you to understand or get it right. Flea (flea) Flea fly (flea fly) Flea fly flo (flea fly flo) Vistay! (Vistay!) Cuma-a-lada, cum-a-lada, cum-a-lada, vistay (cuma-a-lada, cum-a-lada, cum-a-lada, vistay) OOOOOH no no no, not da vistay (OOOOH no no no, not da vistay) Eeny meeny desa meeny, uwa, uwa-na-meeny, exa meeny, sala meeny, uwa, uwa! (eeny meeny desa meeny, uwa, uwa-na-meeny, exa meeny sala meeny, uwa, uwa) (itchy itchy scratchy scratchy got one on my backy backy) Beet billy oten-boten bo-bo ba-deetn-datn, bo-bo ba-deetn-datn, wa-dat'n, chaah! *prances right out again*
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I should update my calendar. September already. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. ------------------------- A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings..' 'I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.' See if you have De Gaulle to share this with someone else. I shared it with you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.
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You MUST read it ALL THE WAY through. SRSLY. One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires. 'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked The seamstress replied, 'No.' The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies. 'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.' The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. 'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy. Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?' 'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!' The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. 'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked. 'Yes,' cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!' The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney." And so the Lord let her keep him. The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.
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For your further education, the knowledge of these "Lesser Laws" is imperative. Murphy did not stop with just one law. Murphy's 10 Lesser-Known Laws 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. 6. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first. 7. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat all day, drinking beer. 8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. Concentrate on those Lesser Laws during your quiet times.
