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Promo Art: http://orig01.deviantart.net/b2f6/f/2015/221/6/8/half_baked_promo_art_for_a_half_baked_fanfiction__by_b_rex54321-d94x12u.jpg The Ta-Matoran woke up, as he did every morning, brushed his teeth, tied a bowtie around his neck, and put on his mask. He then went downstairs, to open up shop. Such was the life of the Ta-Matoran trader, and such had been his life ever since he and the other Matoran had rowed back to Metru-Nui. It wasn't a particularly busy day, so he decided to close shop early, in order to head off to the Ko-Metru library (seeing as it was the only place on the island with wifi) Apon reaching the library, he slumped down on a bench, and pulled out his laptop (how he was able to afford such a device with such slow business is beyond me) Once on his laptop, he pulled up BZPower, in order to reach his monthly quota of wallbreaking. Being the Doctor Who fan he was, (there is nothing to canonically contradict this statement) he was attracted to a topic called "The Matoran's Guide To Building A TARDIS" and seeing it was (somewhat) legit instructions, in comparison to Petewa's usual humor (or more specifically, the lack thereof) it didn't seem like too bad an idea to write down the instructions in order to see if they actually worked. The first mask seemed...somewhat more difficult to retrieve than the others, seeing as it was the mask of time, which was held on maximum lockdown in the Coliseum, so, the Trader decided to sneak in at night. **That Night* The Trader was wearing one of those all-black burglar costumes, complete with a ski mask (which he had difficulty fitting over his bright yellow Kakama) He slowly, stealthily, snuck up one the guards...but, one of them spotted him. "Hello," the guard casually addressed the Trader, "What do you want?" "I need to borrow the Vahi," the Trader replied. "Okay then," the guard yawned, "It's right inside, you can't miss it," "Thanks, Agni," the Trader continued sneaking in, unseen, unheard, he approached the Vahi, and out of his backpack, pulled an adaptive armor Kakama he'd bought off Bricklink. He slowly, carefully, replaced the Vahi with the Kakama, and ran off, thanking Agni once more. The next mask on the Trader's list was a trans.orange Hau...it was a good thing he'd made sure not to sell every Hero Pack his shop had been delivered. Now, for a Kiril, a Mahiki, and a Rau...those would be more difficult to find. He ran to the cemetery, and started digging at the grave labeled "Dume" you can probably guess what happened next. The next morning, Tamaru and Kamen woke up, and couldn't find their masks. On a side note, I should also mention that the Trader had taken a boat back to Mata Nui that morning, and was currently placing the second to last mask on the contraption, finally, he took off his mask and placed it on the last spot of the Suva, the contraption then began to glow, and in the center formed...what looked to be a bright yellow Kakama, just like the one the Trader normally wore, but, he placed it on his face nonetheless, and walked inside his TARDIS, he muttered to himself, "It's bigger on the inside," before pulling a Demat lever. And then he was off. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sorry it took so long, I was busy with...procrastinating, I guess. Oh well, finally did it, all the usual schnazzy stuff is apreciated, thanks for reading this if you did.
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- Doctor Who
- TARDIS
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I'm a big Doctor Who fan, and just have a habit of building TARDISes,
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Before we begin, I'd like to say that this comedy is co-written and co-produced and co-posted, etc. by both myself and Stan McStudz. This whole thing was his idea initially, and with my encouragement and offer of partnership on the project, it began. I took it upon myself to write this chapter, and so he will be up next to continue the story. If you like Doctor Who, and/or absolutely love BIONICLE, this is the place to be! Hope you all enjoy it! AN UNEARTHLY MASK Many centuries after the creation of New Atero and a society comprised of the inhabitants of both Spherus Magna and the Matoran Universe, three of the Great Beings sneaked into the vault which contained the three most powerful Kanohi masks in existence: The Kanohi Ignika, the Kanohi Vahi, and the Mask of Creation. After Artakha’s death, his mask had been placed with the other two Legendary masks for safekeeping in the most heavily guarded storage facility. However, Angonce, Heremus, and a restored Velika had little difficulty getting past the guards. Heremus: I must say, Angonce, these Makuta costumes were a brilliant idea! Everyone seems to recognize us as honored members of the community! Torches to light our way and weapons raised in welcome! Velika: *under his breath* Well, actually…. Heremus: In any case, look at how far we’ve come! I’m sure these guards will give us anything we want after such a bright welcome from all the others! Heremus: *to the guards* My dear and loving friends! Would you kindly allow us to pass into the great vaults? Guard #1: I thought all the Makuta were destroyed! How do you think they managed to survive? Guard #2: Doesn’t really matter to me! Let’s get ‘em! The Great Beings: *jump behind a transport on the side of the street, while Velika grumbles something about morons* Angonce: I’m starting to think that was an angry mob that followed us here. You suppose the Makuta weren’t as well-liked as we thought? Velika: *Dripping with sarcasm* Gee, I wish someone had considered that possibility… Heremus: Me, too. Well, I didn’t bring these force blasters for nothing. *he charges out from behind the transport, yelling* A Toa-hero (whatever those are) knows no fear! Angonce: *joining Heremus, blocking bolts of ice and fire with a shield, runs up to Guard #2, a Toa of Fire* CRY SOME MORE! *He proceeds to kick the Toa into a wall.* Velika: Ugh… I’m surrounded by cool dudes… Heremus: *walks out of the vault with the three masks safely wrapped in separate pieces of cloth* Thanks, Velika! You’re pretty awesome, too! Velika: *facepalm* Angonce: Now, to the secret lab! Angonce: Pull the lever, Heremus! Heremus: *Looks at the two levers before him, completely identical to each other. He decides to pull the left one* Angonce: *A trapdoor appears underneath him* WRONG LEVEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!! Heremus: Oops. You know, we should really get these levers labeled. Angonce: *enters room with a Baterra biting his leg* Why do we even HAVE that lever? *kicks the Baterra away* Velika: *Facepalms... AGAIN* LATER... Angonce: Okay, so the plan is to see if these masks can be merged to create something of even greater power. Velika: But, if we have the ability to make the three masks separately, why not just skip this step and go straight to the final product? Heremus: Because this way is potentially more dangerous. Besides, the fewer Legendary masks exist, the safer everyone will be. Angonce: Seems legit. Let’s do it! Velika: Why does the sound of that idea fill me with many negative thoughts about the stability of your mind? Heremus: Scotland! I’ve always wanted to go to Scotland so I could wear a kilt while playing golf, whatever that is. Velika: Case in point. *to Angonce* If we’re really going to do this, shouldn’t we make sure both Mata Nui and the Ignika will be okay with this? Angonce: Very well. *To the Ignika* Mata Nui, my boy. Would the ability to reassemble the very fabric of time and space in your own image please you? Lord Garmadon: Yes! Give me everything you’ve got! Velika: Wasn’t the evil in your blood destroyed in the last episode? Lord Garmadon: HEY! SPOILER ALERT! I haven’t been able to watch the season finale yet. Now you’ve gone and ruined it for me! *runs out of the room sobbing* Mata Nui/Ignika: Well, that was random. Heremus: *balancing on a ball while juggling an umbrella, a fishbowl, green eggs and ham, Tahu, a spare Kanohi Olmak, and the kitchen sink while wearing a kilt and a fez* Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy! But here’s my number (whatever that is), so call me maybe! *falls over with his pile of junk on top of him.* Mata Nui, Angonce, Velika, and Lord Garmadon: Mata Nui: In any case, no. Give that power to someone else. I’m leaving. *Ignika summons Kai, Cole, Jay, and Zane* I need you guys to create a new body for me to inhabit. Ninja: NINJA, GO!!!! *They proceed to perform the Tornado of Creation, generating a new body for him out of a pile of green armor* Mata Nui: *Forces his spirit out of the Ignika and into the new body* Thanks, guys. In this new body, you shall all refer to me as ‘Toa Lloyd.’ Kai: Um, sorry to burst your bubble, but I think that name was already taken. The newly renamed Toa Lloyd: No! This name is totally original, and is clearly not a rip-off of Garmadon’s son! Iggy, send them home. Ignika: You got it, bro! *the ninja disappear.* Toa Lloyd: Well, now that I have that out of the way… *Picks up a communication device from a nearby table* Beam me up, Scotty! *He dissolves in a flash of light* The Great Beings and Lord Garmadon: Velika: Okay, can we stop with the interruptions? My break starts in 12 minutes, so let’s wrap this up already. Angonce: Sure! *Picks up both the Vahi and the Mask of Creation and sets them next to the Ignika* Ignika: *uses its powers to fuse with the other two Kanohi* Yum! Tastes like orange-lime soda! Angonce and Velika: *pull out devices to help stabilize the formation of the new mask.* Heremus: *walks over, but slips on the Olmak, sending it flying into the newly forming Kanohi* Oops. Ignika: *uses its power to add the Olmak to the mixture* Ooh! That tasted delicious! Heremus: It is alive! ALIVE!!!! Ignika-Vahi-MoC-Olmak: Indeed, pathetic mortals. I am alive! I am also still the Ignika, but that name no longer holds any meaning for me. What to call myself? *A strange blue police box appears in the laboratory. A mysterious figure walks out and kicks the box* Mysterious Figure: Nope. This is DEFINITELY the wrong place. I must have made a wrong turn somewhere back there. Well, back into the TARDIS, then! *walks back inside and the police box vanishes* Iggy-Vahi-MoC-Olmak: Perfect! From now on, I shall be called the Kanohi TARDIS, which stands for Trolls and Really Dumb Internet Serials, whatever those are. Now, I’ll be off! I must find someone worthy of my power! Lord Garmadon: Pick me! Pick ME!!!! TARDIS: HAHA Nope! *glows brightly* With my new powers, I hereby declare this chapter ENDED! ------- Tahu: Hey, why don't I get any dialogue? I feel like a wasted prop for the sake of a joke... ---------------------- This has been chapter one of "Of Morons, Kanohi, and a Doctor." Tune in next time for Stan McStudz' installment.
