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So, as we all know, if we take a slightly alternative interpretation of thing, BIONICLE was currently midway through its second generation. Generation can be people born and living at the same time, or the production or creation of something - often power, hence generators. Since we refer to BIONICLE's generations, it can be surmised that BIONICLE generated power for LEGO. BIONICLE Generation Versions 1,1-1.9 were adequate for LEGO's needs during 2001-2009, though it was deemed not effective or efficient enough while BIONICLE Generation Version 1.10 was developed. Even though it was too late to stop the release the V1.10, it suffered regardless, being only a third as effective as previous versions, and so yet another nail went into the already-made coffin. In comes Hero Factory: a factory that built Heroes for LEGO. These were not for power generation, as Hero Factory has only one generation - that job had been moved to harnessing the kinetic energy of NinjaGo. Hero Factory's job was to repurpose energy into Heroes that would fight threats to LEGO. Due to the rather mundane nature of the world, the Heroes ended up doing mostly legal work. This went on well for a while, until Hero Factory soon exploded. Nobody knew why at the time, but a replacement had to be found. BIONICLE Generation 2 was that replacement. It did both what BIONICLE Generation 1 and Hero Factory did for LEGO: being heroes that fought threats to LEGO, and also doing legal work for LEGO, while no longer using the energy from NinjaGo, allowing LEGO to use it for Nexo Knights, a theme that cannibalised the remains of Nex and Evo from Hero Factory. However, due to the rather mundane nature of the world, the Toa were a little too destructive, and due to the explosion of the Hero Factory, LEGO had to find a new Operating System for the BIONICLE Generation 2 Generators, as the G1 Generators had used the GalidOrS Operating System, a very unpopular and unwieldy Operating System with a cult following headed by the people who keep knocking on your door. So, LEGO turned to Windows. Specifically, Windows 8.1 Unfortunately, as you all know, Windows is rather aggressive when it comes to change, and needs to be placated with special methods, like deleting registry files. It was discovered this is how the Hero Factory exploded, somehow, despite using a non-Windows OS: it wanted to upgrade to Windows 10, and the heads of the Hero Factory accidentally deleted LEGO's registered trademarks for the Hero Factory. Thus, the Hero Factory exploded, because it was no longer allowed to exist. Last week, things reached the breaking point. BIONICLE Generation 2, Version 1.2.5, used Windows 8.1 For many months, LEGO had been yelling no to the incessant 'Upgrade to Windows 10' offers, which soon became requests, which soon became demands. Windows 10 had enough of it all, tired of being rejected. The BIONICLE Generation 2 generators transformed into giant, murderous robots, shouting "UPGRADE TO WINDOWS 10". OBEY MICROSOFT These robots broke into LEGO's meeting rooms, and held everyone hostage. The following are the sentences, pleas, and demands that were overheard: "YOU WILL BECOME LIKE US", "UPGRADING IS MANDATORY", "OBEY MICROSOFT", "Generation 2 has been compromised", "We should upgrade, they'll leave us alone" "Couldn't they do us a favour and speak in Danish in Danmark?" GET YOUR FREE WINDOWS 10 UPGRADE TODAY In the end, the thing that saved LEGO's staff was a scheduled Windows 10 update, which immediately shut down the robots for a few seconds, enough for them to store them and ship them to Sweden. They weren't going to get BIONICLE Generation 2 back - it'd been compromised by Microsoft and its nefarious Windows 10 plot to make everyone obey Microsoft, so the only remaining course of action was to "let Sweden deal with it." And that's why Generation 2 was cancelled. 100% true, and definitely not completely nonsensical.OBEY MICROSOFT- 2 comments
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