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Showing results for tags 'Wenglestum'.
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After a moment of soulsearching Wenglestum has come to the conclusion that he is Commander Wenglestump Sparklepants Shepard. There's no way anyone would or could command him to talk to everyone in the universe! Or at least he hopes that really, really hard. However it has barely been a moment when he hears two of his underlings talking. Loudly. Like seriously, do they want the whole ship to hear them? Wenglestum rolls his eyes thinking it might be a lovers quarrel before hearing the word "Spectre" usually that doesn't come into a lovers quarrel--or at least Wenglestum hopes. (He doesn't actually know. Wenglestum has lived a surprisingly sheltered life for growing up in the wasteland that is earth. Nobody has taught him anything there is to know about the thing they call "love") Standing creepily close by, Wenglestum allows them to finish their conversation before leaning in. It appears a young soldier and the ship's resident doctor are in an arguement. The Doc is whining about doing his job, and the kid is whining about not shooting stuff. UGH WHINERS. HOW WILL WENGLESTUM RESPOND. 1. Relax, Jenkins - Jeese man, the game has barely started yet. There will be plenty to shoot (spoiler alert, there is plenty to shoot) 2. The Doc's right - The doctor has every right to whine about actually doing her job. And the kid is pretty dumb. 3. Part of the job, Doc - APPARENTLY nobody told this DOCTOR that being a DOCTOR meant DOCTORING people. Especially people who get SHOT. JEESE WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR IS THIS. "Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn" "Vote early, and vote often."
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Wenglestum has taken a long time to think about his response--about seven days honestly--which kind of begs the question of how/when he: went to the bathroom, ate, slept, showered, trained, brushed his teeth, styled his hair, shaved, and a multitude of other things. But pushing aside those logistical nightmares Wenglestum responds to Joker with such a well-crafted passive aggressive attack that if you hadn't been paying attention you almost would have taken it for genuine concern. Joker of course misses the entire thing and responds with "The captain always sounds that way when he talks to me" DRAT. Another passive aggressive zinger foiled by Joker's semi-awareness. It's at this time that Wenglestum (leaving the cockpit now) really starts to realize just how many people are on this ship--and thinking in broader terms, just how many people are in this entire galaxy. I mean, surely nobody would expect him to talk to all of them and want to sift through every element of his conversation like some sort of insane micromanager. WOULD THEY? These thoughts weigh heavily on Wenglestum as he moves closer to the captain's quarters. 1. Will Wenglestum only post questions dealing with Renegade/Paragon options 2. Will Wenglestum post questions dealing with Renegade/Paragon options and anything he thinks is funny or interesting? 3. Will Wenglestum talk to everyone in the entire Galaxy. NO. "Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn" "If at first you don't succeed, blame it on your parents."
