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Found 21 results

  1. Was hit with a wave of nostalgia, so here's two small scribbles, Nokama and Antroz. Looking back I see now that some set designs may or may not have influenced my art (and art style) more than I originally thought. What is interesting is that currently I seem to be leaning more towards a set-inspired style than back when I started out. Let's see if this sticks or is just a temporary trend.
  2. Today's drawing, a small portrait of Nokama. After all, she's always been one of my most favourite characters in Bionicle... Style-wise this is obviously a little different from my usual depictions, as I am currently trying to capture a more "robotic" appearance as opposed to my normally very humanized depictions. Not sure about whether I succeeded with that, but I am overall quite happy with the outcome.
  3. Hello everyone! It is I, Lewa0111 Nuva, back to the forums once again! As you are probably aware if you've read my blog or the first chapter of TNI, I've decided to rewrite the early chapters of most of my first comedies, since the old chapters were terribly low-quality and embarrassing, especially by my current standards. After the first few chapters, the remainder of the chapters of this comedy will be reposted mostly verbatim from the original so I can get right away to work writing new chapters! Unfortunately, as a result of the hackings/archive purge, the original classic is no longer available online. I am working on ways to restore it, but for now I suppose we'll have to make do with our memories. 'Tis a sad day. Also, even though these chapters are remakes of the original chapters, I will be accepting new questions for Matau! I will still be using the original questions sent in for the chapters I'm rewriting, but in addition to that I will also add new questions to the chapters if I receive them. Any "storyline" segments of the comedy will remain the same, though, and the characters and their amusing quirks will likewise stay the same. So, let's begin! Ask Matau! A BIONICLE comedy by Me! Chapter 1: Embarrassing Moments *Matau is seated behind an empty desk in the living room of his house, which has several large posters of himself on the walls* Matau: HELLO, BZ-NUI! ...I always wanted to loud-shout that. Welcome to Ask Matau! That's the show where you send me questions and I answer them in hilarious ways! So, first things first, let's begin. Computer, how many messages for--hey, wait a second! Where's my computer? Orkahm: It still hasn't been delivered yet, Matau! Matau: Where'd you come from? You're not even in this comedy! Orkahm: I thought this was Ask Orkahm, no? Matau: ...No, it isn't. Orkahm: Oh, sorry. *leaves* Matau: Why did he just throw leaves at me? Oh well. *brushes off the leaves* Anyway, if I don't have a computer, I suppose there's nothing left to do but wait for the Metru Nui Postal Service Matoran to show up! *A Vohtarak walks in* Vohtarak: Hey Matau! Did the computer come in yet? I want to play MNOG! Matau: No, we're still waiting. And I already told you, you'll have to wait until my show is over, because I need the computer to answer questions with! Vohtarak: Okay, fine. Just don't forget to tell me when it comes in! *walks into kitchen* Matau: Oh, that's right. I forgot to mention that I adopted one of each Visorak after Vakama set them free. Pretty stupid of him, really, he could have had his own private army and taken over the world! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA-- Okay, that was bizarre. *Doorbell rings* Matau: *opens door* Here it is! Finally! Metru Nui Postal Service Matoran (MNPSM): One package, straight from Onu-Metru Electronics, for a Mr. Metru. Matau: My last name isn't "Metru!" But yes, that's me. MNPSM: Here you go. *drops package on Matau, who gets crushed flat by the weight and leaves* Matau: Ouch...I ordered a computer, not leaves! MNPSM: Oh, but Onu-Metru Electronics is doing a promotion. Buy one computer at W599 or higher and get a free pile of leaves! Matau: Fine, I'll douse them in cheese and feed them to Roporak I guess. Thanks, random Matoran! MNPSM: You're welcome! Bye! Matau: *pushes box off of himself* That was odd. But at least I've got my computer now! Let's open it up! *Later...* Matau: Ah, I finally got my computer set up! Time to start it up and...hey, wait a minute, it's white? What do they think this is, Ask Nuju The Nerd? Time to make some adjustments! *Matau pulls out a bottle of Metru green spray paint and uses it to spray the computer...and the walls...and the ceiling...and himself...and the whole house* Matau: Uh...maybe I got carried away? Who cares, let's just start this computer! Computer: You have 3 new messages. Matau: YOU CAN TALK!? AAAH! TALKING COMPUTER! Computer: No, I can't talk. I was just telling you how many messages there are. Matau: Oh, okay. ...Hey, wait a minute, you just talked! Just now! Computer: No I didn't! Matau: Oh, just shut up. Anyway, on to the e-mails. Computer, first question. Matau: Do I really have to answer this? Keelerak: Well, it is a show called "Ask Matau..." Matau: You Visorak are so annoying. Keelerak: Well, it's true! Matau: Doesn't make it any less annoying. Anyway, to answer your question, yes, I have gone out with Nokama. There was this one time, for example, when we went to a restaurant...actually, let's just start a flashback! [FLASHBACK] *Nokama and Matau are at a table at the "Coliseum Cafe," a really fancy restaurant, and Matau is wearing a tie* Random Matoran #35: *dressed as a waiter* What would you like to eat, sir and madam? Matau: Nokama, ladies first! Nokama: Why, thank you, Matau! Let's see, I think I'll have...hmm...well, this grilled Kane-Ra dinner looks good...actually, no, maybe the Vuata Maca salad...never mind, I think maybe...*Five hours later* Nokama: ...no, no, scratch that, I might want the Kikanalo Taco...wait, never mind, I think I prefer the... Matau: Nokama: ...no, no, wait, I've got it. I'll have the fish platter. Matau: *muttering* That took long enough... RM#35: Okay. And you, sir? Matau: I'll have the fried Muaka drumstick dinner. RM#35: Very well, let me just write down your order... *accidentally grabs Matau's tie instead of his pencil* Matau: *choking noises* Can't...breathe! Help! Nokama: > Matau, would you stop clowning around? RM#35: One...fried...Muaka...drumstick...dinner...and... Matau: Nokama...help...tie! Nokama: This isn't funny, Matau! Matau: Not...a...joke... *Kongu, seated at the table behind them, stands up and snaps a picture of Matau* Kongu: Matau: Help...me...Kongu RM#35: ...one...fish...platter... Nokama: Is something wrong, Matau? *Random Matoran #35 lets go of the tie, which smacks into Matau, slingshotting him out the window and sending him flying all the way across Metru Nui, smashing into the Prison of the Dark Hunters and smashing into Nidhiki and Krekka, and all three of them fly all the way around the world and land back in the Coliseum Cafe, landing on top of Nokama* Nokama: MATAU!! I SAID STOP CLOWNING AROUND!! Nidhiki: Oog... Krekka: Uh...what's that word I'm supposed to say when it hurts again? Oh yeah: "Ow!" Kongu: [/FLASHBACK] All Visorak: Matau: IT WASN'T FUNNY! And by the way, Kongu was in for a lot of pain that evening... Okay, enough embarrassing flashbacks, next question! Computer: Displaying Question 2. Matau: What are you talking about? I never bumped into things, ever! Computer, next ques-- Keelerak: Hold it! Here, Matau, let's watch the movie. *Keelerak pulls out a DVD of LoMN and puts it in the DVD player, skipping to a scene* Matau: That doesn't count, Nokama wasn't around! Keelerak: She was in the stands! Matau: Okay, fine. So I crashed ONCE. Big deal. Keelerak: Well? Matau: ...Okay, fine, so I crashed into something twice when Nokama was around. That doesn't mean anything! Keelerak: We'll see... *skips to another scene* Matau: Okay, I admit it! I crashed into things a lot! Happy? Oohnorak: No, you still didn't answer the question! Matau: Fine. Well, I crashed into things because I was distracted by Nokama's charm! Anybody would be distracted if she was around! Keelerak: Vakama wasn't. Matau: He was too busy blaming himself for everything, that's why. Computer, next question! Matau: Well, my most embarrassing moment? Let's see, that would have to be... *reads the rest of the question* Hey, wait a minute. Something seems suspicious. Nice try, Onewa! Computer, respond to this message. Computer: Sending your reply now. *At Onewa's house...* Onewa's Computer: You've got mail! Onewa: Awesome! I bet it's Matau's most embarrassing moment. Let's read. Onewa: Awesome, let's open that file and... Computer: You've got Literal Air Mail! Onewa: What the--AAH! *A tornado erupts from his computer and blasts him into the wall* END Bob the Word Counting Matoran: This chapter has 1,381 words. Lewa0111 Nuva
  4. It’s Valentine’s Day, and what better way to celebrate this romantic holiday than with everyone’s favorite not-quite-off-again-on-again-sorta-maybe couple? Oh wait, I know...how about with two of them? The Weirdest Double Date Ever A BIONICLE comedy by Me! Part 5 of the Lewa# Studios Holiday Series 2015-2016 It was another morning in the city of Metru Nui. In her home in Ga-Metru, Toa Nokama was sleeping peacefully when a sudden racket from outside woke her up. Annoyed, she stretched and looked out her window, where she saw a procession of Ta-Matoran walking past. Normally this wouldn’t have been too surprising (except for the fact that Ta-Matoran normally didn’t like water much), but on closer inspection, there was something rather...unusual about these particular Ta-Matoran. The most obvious thing about them was that each and every Matoran in the procession had been dyed a bright pink. This would’ve been bad enough for Nokama (she could hardly stare directly at their armor without hurting her eyes, it was so bright) but they were also banging on drums, shooting heart-shaped arrows randomly in all directions, and chucking heart-shaped cards at every Ga-Matoran they encountered. Nokama shrugged. It was definitely Valentine’s Day, all right. She never used a calendar anymore, as she could always count on Turaga Dume’s outlandish ideas for the holidays to keep her aware of what day it was. She suddenly found herself energized, excited to find out what the day would bring! Valentine’s Day was a day full of love, romance, flowers, and chocolate. (Wait, actually forget the chocolate, because it doesn’t exist in BIONICLE. Duh.) A nice, peaceful, romantic day, that she would enj-- “HEADS UP!!” came a sudden shout. Suddenly Nokama found herself zooming hundreds of mio per hour, high above the city, dangling from the bottom of a shoddily-constructed flying vehicle. “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh, hey Nokama. Like my new Jet Soarer? When did you get here, anyway?” Nokama clung to the side of said Jet Soarer (which had been made, as far as she could tell, out of some Axalara parts, two Kanohi Kadin superglued to the wings, several Air Katana duct-taped together, and--) “Are those Tahnok velcroed to the bottom? Why in Mata Nui’s name...never mind. Will you just get me off this thing?” “The heat makes it go faster!” explained Matau with a . “No Krana, obviously. Like it?” “You owe me a new house.” Matau’s eyes widened. “Oh, that was your house...oops. Thought it was Onewa’s.” “Why the Karzahni would he live in Ga-Metru!?!?!?!?!?” (Pohatu attempted to appear to say his usual running joke, but due to being high in the air, took one look outside his time-comedy warp portal and closed it right up again instead). “Dunno. Hey, does this count as a date?” Nokama really, really wished he were in slapping range. “No! Just get me on the ground. RIGHT NOW!” Matau rolled his eyes. “Fine. You’re no fun...” He laughed and pushed the controls forward. “Wait, no, I didn’t mean like--GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Nokama screamed suddenly as Matau brought the Jet Soarer into a near-vertical dive straight into Le-Metru. At the very last second, Matau swerved, missing the Moto-Hub by inches, and twisted the vehicle upside-down as it plowed into the top of a nearby house. Luckily, thanks to that last-minute twist, Nokama ended up safely away from the crash, and clambered down onto the wreckage unharmed. Matau, however, was not so lucky. “Blubbllbulbb...bluuuuuuuuuuuuugh... “ he rambled as he stumbled out of the vehicle and then immediately fainted. “Uh-oh,” Nokama muttered, looking around nervously. “I hope nobody was home.” As if on cue, two Turaga opened the inexplicably still-standing back door and peered out. “Oh, don’t worry. That happens just about every other day when you live in Le-Metru,” explained one of them. “In fact, I’m surprised I haven’t seen Kongu--” A large transport vehicle suddenly catapulted out of the nearby chute, ridden by a laughing Le-Matoran. The vehicle immediately splatted into the ground where the Turagas’ house had been standing. “Oh, never mind, there he is.” “Come to think of it,” said the other Turaga, who Nokama could now see had green armor, “you look awfully familiar. Have we met before?” A trident emerged from behind the door and bonked the green Turaga on the head. “You moron!” said the second Turaga, who now walked out of the door to join them, “she’s me!” “ “ was just about all Nokama could say to that. “Airplanes!” said a very woozy Matau, suddenly standing up. He looked around. “Yeah, I’m tired.” He fainted again. “Wait...was that...?” asked the green Turaga. “Toa Matau,” said Nokama. “Sorry about him.” “WHAT??” “I know. It’s a bit of a shock,” said the blue Turaga. “HE STOLE MY NAME! I’m the only one awesome enough to earn the name ‘Matau!’” The blue Turaga facepalmed. “Matau? He’s you.” “Wait...” stuttered Nokama, realization suddenly dawning. “He’s Matau? As a Turaga? Then who are...you’re me?” “That’s right,” said Turaga Nokama. “Somehow.” Turaga Matau, Toa Nokama, and Turaga Nokama all staired at each other for a long, awkward moment. Then they all got lazy, so they switched to escalatoring at each other instead. Finally, Toa Nokama broke the silence. “Okay, wait, hold on. How can we both be on Metru Nui at the same time, if we’re Toa before we ever awakened the Matoran on Metru Nui but you’re only Turaga after returning to Metru Nui at the end of the 2003 storyline and the Toa Nuva are running around but Dume’s still active and apparently not possessed by Makuta and...where exactly in the storyline does the Lewa0111 comedy universe take place, anyway?” Turaga Matau raised his eyebrows. “Short answer? It doesn’t.” Toa Nokama shrugged. “Eh, fair enough. Uh, sorry again about your house. My house? Our house?” “It’s okay. Like I said, we’ve seen worse.” Toa Nokama glanced at the unconscious Toa Matau lying nearby. “So...what are we going to do about him? We can’t just leave him there.” “Don’t you...me...us...we...whatever, just don’t worry,” said Turaga Nokama. “It’s easy!” With that, she walked up to Toa Matau, placed her hand on his face, then violently yanked it away with a *!palS* Immediately Toa Matau sat up. “What happened? Where am I? Oh, hey old me. Hey, old Nokama.” “ ” emoticonned Toa Nokama. “You’re taking this surprisingly well.” “It’s a Lewa0111 comedy. I’m just shocked it took this long for us to meet.” “I make a good point,” said Turaga Matau. “Hey, young me.” “Remind me to teach you the secret art of the palS sometime,” Turaga Nokama whispered to her Toa counterpart. Then, louder, she asked the group, “So what should we do now?” “I know!” exclaimed Toa Matau. “Let’s race! Matau Vs. Matau: The Ultimate Challenge!” Still woozy from her previous encounter with Matau’s flying antics, Nokama immediately shook her head. “Let’s not.” “Aww, you’re no fun.” “ ” all four suddenly emoticonned. Surprised, they all looked up. A flock of Gukko was passing by, all dressed up as Cupids with bows and arrows glued to their wings. Cameo the Le-Matoran, covered in pink, was riding the lead Gukko, dumping pink paint and heart confetti down onto everyone he passed, causing the victims to resemble “wub” emoticons. The two Turaga looked at each other. “Dume...and here he’s supposed to be the mature one,” Turaga Nokama said. “You’re all Turaga though; shouldn’t you all be mature?” asked Toa Nokama, confused. Her Turaga self just laughed. “Not really. Have you seen Dume’s holidays?” she asked. Toa Nokama shrugged. “Good point. Actually, speaking of Dume, I’d almost forgotten today was Valentine’s Day! Shouldn’t you two be on a date?” “Shouldn’t you two?” Nokama (both of them) sighed. “A fair point,” conceded the Toa of Water. “So far my Valentine’s Day has been...less than romantic.” “What are you talking about? I got you a free ride on my Jet Soarer for the occasion! That’s super romantic, right?” “Definitely!” said Turaga Matau. “See, Nokama? ...Er, my Nokama? I told you that was a perfectly acceptable anniversary gift!” “Matau, yourself does not count as a valid reference.” “Hey!” protested Toa Matau. Toa Nokama shrugged. “She has a point. Where were the flowers? Hearts? Chocolates?” (We already went over this! Chocolate doesn’t exist in BIONICLE!) “Unfortunately, both of our Mataus will need to try a lot harder to make this Valentine’s Day a good one,” said Turaga Nokama. (Completely ignoring me, as usual. In a weird way, I kind of miss the fourth-wall-breaking Earth characters...uhh, don’t tell Onua or Whenua I said that.) “Okay! I have a super romantic idea! Let’s go out on a date!” exclaimed Toa Matau. “Very creative, Matau,” said Nokama sarcastically. “Can you be more specific?” “Hmm...” thought Toa Matau. “Oh, here’s a good one. A double date! Or...single date? Self-date? Not sure what you call it. But we can go out along with our Turaga selves!” Nokama considered this. “That’s actually not a bad idea.” The two Turaga looked at each other. “See? That was a halfway decent Valentine’s Day idea. Why didn’t you ever come up with anything like that?” asked Turaga Nokama. “But I have come up with that!” protested Turaga Matau. “Oh really? When?” “When I was a Toa and this happened, and I said that, just now! ...Then?” “I don’t even...you know what, never mind.” Ignoring this rather odd conversation, Toa Matau asked, “So this is an actual, official date? Awesome! Where should we go?” “I’ve wanted to visit the new Colosseum they just finished building! Can we go there?” “Sure, anything for you! I’m driving,” said Toa Matau. “NO!” both Nokamas shouted simultaneously. “Aww, why not? I’m a great driver!” “Agreed!” said Turaga Matau. Both Nokamas gazed pointedly at the wreckage of the house and Jet Soarer. Some time later, Toa Nokama was (very carefully) flying them all toward the center of the city, where a gleaming new Colosseum had been built to replace the one destroyed in the recent New Year’s debacle. A few Vahki construction crews (and Takanuva) were still finishing up the last touches on the building, but for the most part it was completed. It featured elevators, an observation deck, a much better sound system than before, extensive sky-parking, and even separate stadiums for Akilini, Kohlii, Sohker, Gholph, and numerous other Matoran sports. However, it wasn’t in the same location as the old Colosseum, but rather in a prime location right next to the Nuva Inn, which now had a skybridge connecting the two structures. (Toa Lewa had insisted on the new location, “claiming” that it had nothing to do with wanting more money.) “That looks like a good spot!” said Turaga Nokama, pointing to a sky-parking spot right near the main entrance. Her Toa self steered toward the spot, but as they got there, a small flying spider-shaped vehicle cut in front of them, settling neatly into the spot. “Aww.” “Hey, what’s the big idea?” demanded Matau of the other vehicle. “Nobody makes my girlfriend sad!” Both Nokamas SLAP!ed their respective Mataus. “What did I do?” asked Turaga Matau. “When you were a Toa and this happened. Just now,” Turaga Nokama said, quoting his own words from earlier back at him. “I hate irony.” While this conversation was happening, Matau leaped into the air and flew over to the parking spot. “I’ll have you know that was our spot. We saw it first!” The door of the other vehicle opened to reveal... “Wait, Oohnorak? What are you doing here?” The black-and-orange Visorak stepped out. “It’s Valentine’s Day, obviously.” “Wait a minute, you have a girlfriend? Since when?” A Boggarak stepped out of the other side. “Since forever. This is Katie the Boggarak.” “How did I not know about this?” “What did you think I was doing whenever I wasn’t in entire chapters of Ask Matau!, sitting around? I was usually out with Katie.” “Huh. I just figured Lewa0111 forgot about you.” “Nah. I was busy.” “Oh, okay. But look, can we still have the parking spot?” The Visorak shrugged (no easy feat when you’re a spider). “Well, yeah. We’ll be gone soon. Bye!” As the two Visorak walked into the Colosseum, hand-in-hand (er...”pincer-in-pincer?”), Random Matoran #35 jumped into their vehicle. “One order of valet parking, coming right up!” he said with a , flying the vehicle off. Toa Nokama, seeing this, settled their vehicle onto the spot. “Thanks, Matau! That was sweet of you.” She then tried to kiss him on the cheek, but only succeeded in bonking their masks together and knocking them off. Luckily, their Turaga selves quickly put their masks back on before the Toa could faint. “Okay. That didn’t work.” “We’ve tried that before,” Turaga Nokama commented. “Sure, now you tell me! Whatever, let’s just go inside.” The odd pair of couples walked through the door, as behind them, Random Matoran #35 flew the vehicle away. Once inside, they were greeted with billboards advertising everything from Nidhiki’s Webbing Services to Avohkii Construction, Inc. to the Skydiving Club and beyond. Crowds of various beings milled about, coming and going from the Kohlii game on the ground floor, the Nuva Inn, the restaurants and observatory on the top floor, and the many shops installed along the side. “Wow,” gasped both sets of Nokamas and Mataus in astonishment. “This is definitely an improvement over the old one,” Toa Nokama commented. “I could shop here all day!” “Well, we’re not here to shop,” said Turaga Matau. “It’s Valentine’s Day, can’t you stop thinking about yourself for one minute?” demanded Turaga Nokama. “But I like thinking about myself!” “WE KNOW,” said both Nokamas. Toa Matau just pointed to one of the billboards advertising the top floor. “Actually, I’m right...he’s right...I’m right...WHATEVER. We’re not here to shop because we have a dinner reservation!” “I’m fine with that!” said Toa Nokama. “I just hope it goes better than the last time we went out to a restaurant.” “Don’t worry. I’m not wearing a tie this time!” “That’s a relief,” Turaga Nokama observed. The four of them ascended the elevator to the top floor, where they emerged into the latest addition to the Tava’s Pie House series of restaurants. “Welcome to Tava’s Pie House: Pie-in-the-Sky Edition!” said Random Matoran #35, dressed as a waiter. “Wait a minute, weren’t you the valet driver?” asked Toa Matau, confused. “Yes,” said Random Matoran #35. “And now you’re the waiter?” “Yes.” “But how did you get up here so fast? And change your uniform?” “Yes.” “ ” “Sorry about him,” interjected Turaga Nokama. “Just show us to our seats.” “Okay, right this way.” They passed several tables filled with various couples, including Nidhiki and Lariska (and a very confused Krekka), Everyone and Nobody (strangest couple name ever), Roodaka and Sidorak (who insisted on the royal treatment), Krika and Krahka (prone to mixing up their own names), Hewkii and Macku (who apparently didn’t care that their relationship is non-canon), Oohnorak and Katie (who Matau still couldn’t believe were even dating), and, for some inexplicable reason, Gresh and Kiina. “Are those Bara Magnan Glatorian over there?” whispered Toa Nokama to her Turaga self. “Yes, I believe you’re right.” “Why are they here? Isn’t this comedy before--” “I told you, just accept that no official storyline timeline makes any sense in Lewa0111 comedies, and you’ll feel better,” whispered Toa Matau. Finally, Random Matoran #35 sat them down at their table. “Enjoy!” he said. They looked at their menus. “Wow. I never knew this many types of pies existed!” said Toa Nokama. “There’s a ‘Stuff Matau Likes’ Pie? This place really does have everything,” said Toa Matau with a . “I’ll definitely be having one of those, too,” said Turaga Matau. “This place is the best!” “They even have a ‘Jumble-of-random-foods-typically-found-in-comedies-including-cheese-pickles-cookies-bananas-and-pie-yes-pie-within-pie-don’t-ask’ pie? That is one long name,” commented Turaga Nokama. In no time at all, Random Matoran #35 was back to take their order. Both Mataus ordered...well, you can probably guess; Toa Nokama had a “Seafood Delight Pie,” and Turaga Nokama decided to try the “Observation Platform Pie,” which was a specialty only served in this particular Tava’s Pie House. “So,” said Toa Matau after they’d all placed their orders, “what was everyone’s favorite part of the day? I liked the part where I was awesome. And where I met another me. You’re much nicer than that Toa Matau clone I ran into before. He was a...word we can’t say on BZPower.” “How many of us are there?” asked Turaga Matau. “We should make a Matau band. Or a Matau city! All Mataus, all the time!” “That’s a great idea. Let’s see, there’s us, that clone Matau, the toy version of you from one of Lewa0111’s old cancelled comedies, the Matau from Ask Matau! (or is that me? I’m confused), the official storyline Mataus....” “I just got an idea! Let’s take Bitil’s mask! Then we could have infinite Mataus!” “BEST. IDEA. EVER.” While this conversation was going on, the two Nokamas were exchanging looks of exasperation. “This sounds like a recipe for disaster,” Turaga Nokama commented. “‘Recipe for disaster?’ Did you want our Disaster Pie recipe? We’re selling all of our Pie recipes in the gift shop on our way out!” exclaimed Random Matoran #35, arriving with their orders. “Uhh...maybe. Anyway, thanks for the food.” Suddenly, an explosion erupted from the kitchen, and a geyser of fire launched itself into the air. The entire place caught fire, and screaming Matoran ran everywhere. “Hey, what’s the big idea? I was about to eat!” shouted Turaga Matau. Both Nokamas stood up and started to put out the fire, but two flying transports pulled up outside the windows, discharging a firematoran carrying a long hose, who swiftly put out the fire. A drenched Tahu stumbled out of the former kitchen. “For once it wasn’t my fault!” he was saying. “Nidhiki shouldn’t have ordered the ‘Extra-Gigantic-Mega-Size Fire Pie!’” <TOA TAHU. YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR BURNING STUFF. AGAIN> said a Vorzakh, leading a squad to arrest the aforementioned Toa of Fire. <YOU WILL COME QUIETLY> “That was...uhh...interesting,” commented Toa Nokama. “I just hope we get a refund,” Turaga Matau said. “Our pies are all charred to a crisp!” “REFUND??” shouted a randomly appeared Lewa. “DON’T YOU DARE TAKE MY PRECIOUS MONEY!” As the Vorzakh led Tahu away in the background, Tava said, “Lewa? You don’t even own this restaurant. It’s not actually your money.” “I do now! I’m buying your restaurant.” “It’s not for sale...” Before Lewa could get more upset, Tava grabbed a Widget Pie and pied Lewa in the face with it. “Here, now go back to your Manager’s Suite.” “Yay, a Money Pie!” Lewa then flew off back to the Nuva Inn as randomly as he had come. “Oh, and no refunds.” “...He doesn’t even work here,” said the firematoran, “I don’t know what all the fuss is about. But Charred-to-a-Crisp Pies are actually pretty good. I’ve had them before. They’re surprisingly popular with Ta-Matoran.” “Well, none of us are Ta-Matoran,” observed Toa Nokama. “This date is a disaster,” murmured Toa Matau. The firematoran shrugged. “It could be worse. You could all be on fire right now.” “A fair point,” said Turaga Nokama. As the firematoran got back into his vehicle and flew away, he took off his Mask of Fireproofing to reveal himself to be Random Matoran #35. Toa Matau turned around as soon as the vehicle had left, only to see Random Matoran #35 walking up to their table, ready to receive their check. “Wait but--wha--how--you were the firematoran just now!” “Yes.” Toa Nokama put a hand on his shoulder. “That certainly happened. Let’s just go; we can still see the observation deck!” Toa Matau sighed. “Yeah, good idea. Check please!” After both Mataus had paid for their respective dates, all four found themselves out on the observation deck next to the restaurant. They gazed out upon the beautiful, romantic sight of the city’s lights twinkling against the sunset. They also gazed out upon Ta-Metru exploding from an unsuccessful attempt at baking Valentines’ Day cookies, Le-Metru experiencing a rain of vehicles crashing from running into Cameo’s flocks of pink-paint-and-heart-confetti-dropping Gukko birds, Po-Metru inexplicably causing a giant sinkhole to erupt from a poorly-thought-out quarry (in which Hafu had been carving a giant valentine out of the stone to give to...himself), Onu-Metru dealing with the aforementioned giant sinkhole, Ga-Metru filling with the panicked screams of pink Ta-Matoran falling into one-foot-deep water and thinking they were drowning, and Ko-Metru doing absolutely nothing for the occasion because they were too busy doing scholarly things to bother with the holiday. Okay, maybe ‘beautiful, romantic sight’ wasn’t the best description. “You know,” said Toa Matau, “as random as today was, I look out at this sight and I think something.” “Oh? And what’s that?” asked Nokama, anticipating something heartwarming and romantic. “Random Matoran #35 was right, even if he does keep changing jobs inexplicably. My plan for today was still the best out of everyone else’s!” he said with a , gesturing to the sounds of chaos from the city below. Nokama just facepalmed. On the other side of the platform, the two Turaga watched their Toa selves. “I miss those days,” Turaga Nokama said wistfully. “I liked being a Toa.” “Being a Toa-Hero was fun. It’s nice seeing them. Us. Ourselves. Themselves. Whatever.” “Today was fun, though. Even if I never got to find out what an Observation Platform Pie tastes like.” “You know what I think, though?” asked Turaga Matau. “That you’re the greatest Toa-Hero ever?” “No...well okay, yes, but I meant besides that. Being a Turaga isn’t all that bad. Toa Me hasn’t had nearly as much time spent with you, after all. And those are some great memories to have.” “...And who couldn’t be happy with today? Spending it with such a hottie-hot-hottie like you is--” Toa Matau was saying, which was predictably met with a *SLAP!* Seeing this, Turaga Nokama raised an eyebrow (despite wearing her mask). “Well, okay, they weren’t all great memories,” Turaga Matau admitted. “But I still wouldn’t trade them for the world. That Toa of Air still has a lot of fun times ahead. And I should know! I’m literally him!” “That was...surprisingly sweet,” Turaga Nokama said. They started to kiss-- “Ha, ha!” yelled Cameo, zooming overhead with his bucket and upending it over all of them, then throwing a smartphone and two Xbox Ones at the almost-kissing Turaga for good measure before flying away. Both Mataus and Nokamas looked at each other. “Some things never change,” Toa Nokama said as a squad of Vahki zoomed past, followed by a policematoran riding a Gukko, all chasing the prankster. “Except for him, apparently,” Toa Matau pointed out. Sure enough, the policematoran was Random Matoran #35. Just then, the doors swung open, and Toa Tava came racing out onto the platform, carrying four pies in his hands. “Wait! You forgot your free desserts! I made special-edition Valentines’ Day Pies for you all!” “Oh, wow, thank you--” Toa Nokama started to say, but was interrupted when Tava, as per usual, pied them all in the face. (Apparently this is the only way he knows how to serve pies). Unfortunately, they were all still standing right next to the railing when he did so, which sent all four of them toppling over the edge. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!” THE END Random Matoran #35 the Word Counter: This comedy has 3,953 words. Toa Matau: Wait, you mean he’s the word counter too? Random Matoran #35 the Word Counter: Yes. ~Happy Valentine’s Day from Lewa# Studios! Halloween Special 2015 Thanksgiving Special 2015 Christmas Special 2015 New Year’s Special 2015 Lewa0111 Nuva
  5. [uPDATE] link to the original fanfiction for those who are curious has been provided. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2940708/1/The-Turning-Point Here is a dramatic reading of the Final chapter of Turning Point by Tollian. It was one of the best fanfics I've read back in the day and figured it'd be fun to try and voice all of the metru (and a few surprises). Tell me what you think. https://soundcloud.com/faybos/turning-point-first-try IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED, DO NOT FOLLOW THE LINK. Otherwise listen and enjoy. ^^ Story written by Tollian Voiced by Me
  6. https://imgur.com/a/BYyLR#0 This is my (pretty basic) MOC, imagining the PoW as Nokama. I reworked the armor, weapon, and bone structure, all to make the Protector look more like Turaga Nokama from 2001. I used the armor from Gali as a cloak, or robe, of some sort, and also used some pieces from Gali and the Protector of Ice. What do you think? Any comments, or questions? Criticism is more than welcome!
  7. Ehi there! Today's Toa Metru is Nokama, which is probably my favourite character in the Bionicle series along with Vakama. She is the only Toa Metru to have a articulated waist, which allows a great poseability, she also has these Kiina pieces on her lower arms and legs, to give her a more unique look. I also used many Visorak feets on all over her body, and her torso is built with many gear-looking pieces. Hope you'll enjoy this MOC! I made her a double barrel Crossbow as Toa Tool. I'm working on additional weapons right now, probably similar to the original ones. I tried to made some kind of quiver on her back to give her a bit of asymmetry. I think it looks kinda cool. As always feel free to suggest improvements Check her on MOCPages too!
  8. A couple of drawings I've done over the last few months. Nokama Metru: Based this mainly on the Miramax version with some of my own ideas on Toa anatomy thrown in. Hahli Inika. I decided to make the max more of a mix of Kaukau and Elda rather than just the straight up Elda mask. I think it turned out okay, so...yeah. Well, thanks for viewing!
  9. To quote Jack Krauser from Resident Evil 4, "Been a long time, comrade." Last time I was on BZP was the day it crashed, and that was the last time I was inspired to draw Bionicle, until recently that is. The other night, I was suddenly inspired (at 2:30am nonetheless) to finally draw the Lhikan and the Toa Metru. While I have costume sketches for the rest of the lot, I won't post them until they are at least colored with flats. Their getups are inspired by a crossover of steam punk fashion, Thor, and their respective professions (the Toa Metru I mean).
  10. The REAL first chapter. I decided to maybe return here for a little bit and try to fix the problems the forum upgrade created when it took every chapter of all the stuff I've written and turned it into unreadable blocks of text. I've slowly started fixing it. I honestly don't care if no one reads my stuff anymore, it bothers me that this happened. It bothers me more that it seems I'm the only one this happened to. So I'm going to go on ahead and fix it all by myself. In the mean time, here is the real first chapter for the Wimp Waker. I've honestly lost the will to make the Skyward Sword parody, not only because everyone on BZPower seems to hate it (I'm the only one posting in it and without feedback to go off, I don't know whether you all hate it or not), but I'm discouraged from writing it because I don't know if you all hate it or not. Plus, I didn't even WANT to start writing it. I wanted to start making the Wind Waker spoof because not only is it one of my most favorite games, but I already started writing it with a skeletal plot outline, which also got posted here as a "What-if" sort of script, but it also suffered the same fate and I don't really see a point in fixing that since it's not part of the main story. So I'm just going to post the first chapter. I will return to writing this when I feel like it. Until then, I'll be trying to fix the rest of the series so that it is actually readable again. Enjoy. Or don't enjoy. Seriously. I get the feeling no one likes my writing anymore. Either way, I love writing, so I don't care if no one likes my stuff or not. This is but one of the legends the Matoran talk about. Just one. Not two. Not three. Not seventy-eight. Just one… Long ago, there existed a kingdom where a golden power lay hidden… in the middle of the field for everyone to see. It was a prosperous land blessed with green forests, tall mountains, LOTSA Spaghetti, and peace. But mostly LOTSA Spaghetti. But one day a wicked burn victim of great evil found the golden power and took it for himself because he figured “Hey, why not?” and because it was just right there in front of him, ready and ripe for the taking. With its strength at his command, he spread darkness everywhere, all within the time span of exactly seven days. But then, when all hope died and the hour of doom seemed at hand… A young Toa of Air appeared as if out of nowhere… when in reality he was just locked up in a temple for seven days. He brought fire with him. Wielding the blade of evil’s bane, he sealed the dark one away with some annoying Southern Belle girl and brought back light to the land… because taking him down right then and there to end his evil forever was not an option. Just seal him away in some realm of light with some hillbilly girl. The Toa who traveled through time to save the land was then named the Hero of Time. You know, because it made sense at the time. His tale was passed through generation until it became legend. Because no one wrote anything down, so no one could really recall things exactly. But then… there came a day when a fell wind began to blow across the kingdom. The great evil that everyone thought was gone forever and sealed away by the hero wasn’t actually gone forever. He and his mismatched partner returned, and he was eager to resume his dark designs. Big surprise there. Faced by an onslaught, everyone could only appeal to the Great Spirit and his three subordinates… because no one likes Hylia apparently, but enough of her. In their last hour as doom drew nigh, they left their future in the hands of Fate. Unfortunately, Fate wasn’t in a good mood that day and she didn’t help them. What became of this kingdom? None remain who know… which brings up the question of how I’m able to relay this story to you all… Bionicle: Wimp Waker -- Abridged *Somewhere on Outset Island, there was going to be something big going down…* Macku: BIG BROOOOOOOOOOTHEEEEEEEEER!!! *The young and vibrant Macku ran down the ramp of the home she lived in, calling out for her big brother. As she ran, she got her favorite telescope handy.* Macku: BIG BROOOOOOOOOOTHEEEEEEEEER!!! *Macku used her telescope to look, and she then looked over at the lone watch post at the other end of their peaceful home island of Outset. Putting her telescope down, she scurried over to the watch post.* *Meanwhile, Macku's brother was seemingly trapped in a recurring nightmare. It's raining. There's a storm going on. He's standing in front of a draw bridge, which slowly lets itself down. He has never seen this building before in his life, but historical texts (if there were any left) would call it the Coliseum of Metru Nui* Lewa: Whoa, creepy doors… *Then all of a sudden, two beings atop a mount pass right by him, one being a young Toa of water. Lewa moved away before being trampled, staring back at her...* Lewa: What was that thing? Nokama: A horse, you moron! *The two rode away and the dream continued. Lewa, stunned, got to his feet again. He turned back to face the Coliseum, only to meet face-to-face with a dark being with a unsettling vibe.* Antroz: You know... I actually succeed in an alternate universe. I call it the Antruniverse. Lewa: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! *Lewa, now back in his own body and time, awoke from the dream. He thought he heard Macku calling him. He turned around, but she wasn't there. He faced forward again, and sure enough, there she was.* Macku: Wake up, big brother! Lewa: BWAAHHH!!! Macku: Are you awake now? Lewa: Please exit my life and never return. Macku: I just drank 28 gallons of soda. Lewa: That’s really deep-interesting. Not. Macku: I knew you'd be here. This is my favorite spot to look out and gaze at the seagulls. I call it "Macku's Lookout." Lewa: Cute. Why are you here? Macku: Grandma said she’s got your birthday present. Lewa: You mean nothing? Like every year before? Macku: Yeah. And when I asked her, she kicked me out of the house. Lewa: Then annoy-bug the neighbors. Macku: I don’t think they like me. Lewa: You’re weird. Macku: Aren't you glad to have such an adorable little sister like me here to wake up you and check on you all the time? Lewa: Nope. Macku: Well... why don't you go see Grandma anyway? Lewa, sighs: I'll do it, but it'll be a huge waste of mine time and everyone else's. *Lewa leaves the watch post and climbs down the ladder slowly. Afterwards, he makes his way on the dock and makes it home.* Lewa: You know... Grandma always says she never has enough money to get us anything. I wonder if it's true... *With that, Lewa gets a wonderful awful idea and crawls underneath the steps of the house. From there, he finds a very small crawl space and as he follows it, he manages to find a secret room with a secret treasure chest. Curious, he opens it, and sure enough, he gets 100 rupees right off the bat.* Lewa: HA! I knew Grandma was lying to us the whole time! Well, I just snuck-swiped her life savings! *After doing a very bad deed that would most likely make anyone deem him a thief, Lewa makes it back up and goes in to greet his grandmother.* Grandma: Why, hello there, Lewa. Today is a very special day for you. Lewa: Is it the day you put Macku up for adoption? Grandma: No, but that's a very great idea. Today you are the same age as the age of the Hero of Time. Lewa: The Who? Grandma: No, not The Who, although I do like their music. The Hero of Time. The one who stopped the Dork Lord from taking over that ancient kingdom before the Dork Lord returned and made everything go bad. Lewa: He sounds more like the Loser of Time if you ask me. Grandma: Yes, he was a loser. But we still worship him never the less. So to honor this occasion, I have bought you... um... I bought you... some Emperor's New Clothes! Lewa: Why do you always do this every single time? Grandma: Come now, Lewa, try them on. I'm sure they'll look nice. *Lewa mocking tries on the "invisible" clothes over his already existent green armor.* Grandma: Oh, Lewa, you look so nice in your new clothes. Lewa: These are the clothes I wear all the time. Grandma: If it'll make you shut up, I'll go get you some candy later. Lewa: Sweet! Grandma: You remind me so much of your Grandpa Lesovikk from when we were growing up. Oh, those were such happy memories. Lewa: Do I have to hear this? Grandma: He'd always tell me, "Nikala, quit trying to cheap out on everybody, or else you're going to make people angry." You grandpa was so silly. I never made anyone mad at me. Lewa: Grandpa sure had some good common sense. How'd he end up marrying you anyway? Grandma: I forced him to accept my love. Lewa: O_O Okay... I'm... gonna go... step outside. *Lewa then runs out of there like a mad cow, opening and then slamming the door shut on his way out.* Lewa: Well, that takes care of that. I guess nothing left but to go back to my "adorable" sister that I love so much. *Later on after a convenient time skip...* Macku: Nothing again, huh? Lewa: Nope. She did promise me candy, though. Macku: Now for my birthday present. I'm going to let you have it for one day. Lewa: At least it's one more present than what Grandma gives me. Macku: Happy Birthday! It's my favorite telescope! Lewa: Nice. Macku: It's my most favorite possession in the world, and I want to share it with you, but you can only have it for one day. Lewa: I’m going to look at things while you ramble on. *As Macku rambles on with her semi-non-coherent rambling, Lewa looks around the island.* Lewa: Oh, hey look, it's the postman. *Indeed it was. The Rito postman was delivering some mail. But all of a sudden, he starts flapping his winds furiously.* Lewa: What's he freaking out at? *That's when he sees a giant mutant Nivawk with something in its claws, as well as a pirate ship shooting at it.* Lewa: It's the Black Pearl! Macku: That's not the Black Pearl. Why doesn't it have the all-black sails? *What REALLY caught Lewa’s attention was a Toa of water in the talons of the bird. As the bird was hit by the cannons of the ship, the girl was released and she fell to her doom.* Lewa: Well, that’s not something you see every day. Look at the fat bird. Quick, hide the children! Macku: You should go over there and help the girl. Lewa: You’re still here? Well, you might be right. And she does look cute. Macku: Cuter than me? Lewa: Yes. It’s not that difficult, you know. Even that “Toa Tuyet” I read about is cuter than you. Macku: But look where she fell. You're gonna need something to cut your way through. Why not talk to that crazy old guy Grandma tells us not to talk to? Lewa: You're right! I could totally swipe-steal something from him! Macku: >_> Lewa: I mean, learn the ways of the sword. *Another time skip later...* *Lewa walks in and there is an aging Toa of Fire throwing himself against the wall.* Lewa: Uh... Toa Norik? Norik: Huh? Oh. Why if it isn't young Lewa. Lewa: Why are you doing that? Is it part of some special ancient training? Norik: No. I just have this really bad cramp in my left shoulder. It hurts! Lewa: Wow... You really do sound like Kagome's Grandpa. Norik: What do you need, young one? Lewa: I need to go rescue some cute girl who fell into the woods. *Those words were enough to make Norik drop his spear.* Lewa: Are you going to help me or not? Norik: As an advocate of love, I shall. I'm glad you didn't turn out anything like my brother upstairs. He's all about books and knowledge and PPPPBBBBTTT!!! *For the heck of it, Norik rams into the wall once last time, not only popping his shoulder back in place, but (from the sound of it) making a bunch of pots from upstairs fall and break.* Iruini's voice: You blasted hooligan! Can't you see that I, the hard-reading Iruini, am trying my best to study?! Norik: You keep doing that, you page-turning old loon! Now, then, let us begin, Lewa. Take this sword. I don't use it for much of anything. Lewa: Who's was this? Norik: I don't remember. All I remember was that I took it from him while he was screaming "I hate you" because of the pain inflicted upon him. Lewa: O_O *They both bow and then slowly but surely, Norik teaches him how to do some of the proper techniques, as laid down by the Hero of Time. After another convenient time skip, Lewa begins his trek up towards the woods.* Lewa: Stupid sign. *Lewa chops down the "DANGER!!!" sign that blocked his path.* Lewa: Screw the rules, I have a sword. *Lewa went up the boring path up the mountain and over a bridge and in between the red an green apple trees. At the top of the mountain where he met this newcomer who didn’t actually fall to her doom. She just fell a very long ways. And got caught on a tree branch.* Lewa: And there she is. Wait... what's that up there. *Overhead, there were some birds that looked like that big ugly one from earlier except smaller carrying some equally ugly creatures in their talons. The birds dropped said creatures.* Lewa: Oh, no, a bunch of goblins with high-pitched squealy voices! *Lewa takes out the sword given to him by Norik and proceeds to fight them and kill them. I get bored writing fight sequences with field enemies, okay? Anyway, after they were all done with, Lewa turned his attention back over to the mysterious girl... who proceeded to wake up.* Nera: Huh...? BWAAAHH!!! *Startled by the fact she was suspended in mid-air by a tree branch, she begins struggling and squirming until the branch gives way and she falls on her rear.* Lewa: Oh, right. I should have caught her. Nera: Ugh... Stupid tree. You just made the list. *She takes out a small notebook with the words "Revenge List" etched on the front cover from her satchel and flips it over to a specific page and scribbles down "Stupid island tree." Right beneath the names "Santa Claus," "Count Drewku," and "Dr. Colossol."* Nera: Stupid island tree, you've made a new enemy today. Lewa: Who are you? Nera: I could ask you the same thing. Lewa: Common island dweller. Nera: Okay. So where am I? Lewa: Outset Island. And hey, I’m asking the questions here! Brutaka: Miss Nera, I finally found you. Nera: D’oh, Brutaka, I thought I told you to never go blurting out stuff. Brutaka: I’m sorry, Miss Nera, but you know how I get when I’m hungry. Nera: I’ll let you off. *Another boring walk later.* Lewa: So who are you? Brutaka: I’m a pirate. Nera: Brutaka! Lewa: He’s a pirate? Brutaka: I’m a pirate. Nera: Stop talking! Both of you! Brutaka: We’re all pirates. Nera: Oh, Brutaka, you’re so slow in the head. Macku, from afar: Big brother! Lewa: Oh, it’s you. Hey, I found some pirates. Nera: No, I’m not. Brutaka: Yes, you are. *Nera smacks Brutaka on the head and Brutaka cries out.* Brutaka: Is there anyone out there as unlucky as me? *In the irony of his words, the giant bird swoops in and takes Macku.* Macku: Bye, big brother! Lewa: Oh, no, you don’t, you stupid bird! You’re not going to force me on some epic trek-quest! *Lewa runs off the edge of a cliff (SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER!!), but Nera grabs him before he falls.* Nera: By the goddesses, you’re a moron… *Somewhere in the heavens…* Nayru: Think we should have chosen someone else to be our hero? Din: Maybe we should stop choosing them like this. Farore: Puppies make me smile! Nayru and Din: Shut up, Farore!
  11. ^ clickable thumbnail (184 kB) larger image ( 415 kB) Out of all Toa Metru, Nokama has always been my favourite. Possibly due to her design, particularly the mask, which has always had something... alien about it. To me, at least. Apart from that... yay for more Bionicle art? :3 Edit: almost forgot to point out that I really recommend looking at the larger version, as it looks a bit better that way. =3
  12. So here is the not long awaited Skyward Stooge, the first of many prequels in the Dimwit of Time saga. I say that because I wanted to make yet another one that takes place even before this story based on the Skyward Sword Manga. Before anyone reads this... PLEASE READ THE OTHERS STORIES IN THE SERIES. PLEASE REFER TO THE LINKS IN MY SIGNATURE. In the past, people said they were confused over some story elements, and after answering questions, I realized a lot of it was because they read either Twilight Delinquent or The Moron's Mask without reading the other stories. A lot of this stuff builds on itself. After all, would you read Chamber of Secrets and then jump to Order of the Phoenix without reading the books in between? Anyways, here. I've only written 8 chapters as of this post. This one serves as bit of a prologue chapter, so not a whole lot actually happens here aside from getting introduced to the protagonist and a few important characters. This is also probably the shortest chapter of the 8 I've written so far, so sorry for that. With that in mind, I'm going to sparingly post updates while I try to write more. This is a tale you of Matoran kind have passed down through uncounted generations… It tells of a war of unmatched scale and ferocity, the likes of which would never be seen again.One dark, fateful day, the earth cracked wide and malevolent forces rushed forth from the fissure. Led by the evil king of shadows, they mounted a brutal assault upon the surface people, driving the land into despair. They burnt the forests to ash, choked the land's sweet springs, and defeated many without hesitation.They did all this in their lust to take the ultimate power protected by Her Grace, the goddess... who was really undermined by the three golden goddesses who are in turn undermined by the great spirit, but that's another story. The power she guarded was without equal. Handed down by the golden goddesses, this power gave its holder the means to make any desire a reality. Such was the might of the ultimate power that the old ones placed it in the care of Her Grace. To prevent this great power from falling into the hands of the evil swarming the lands, the goddesses gathered up survivors of whom she could not stand for the life of her onto an outcropping of earth. She sent it skyward, beyond the reach of the demonic shadow hordes, beyond even the clouds. With these outcasts safe, the goddess joined forces with the other remaining outcasts that she liked and fought the evil forces, sealing them away. At last, peace was restored to the surface… or so it seemed. The dark king vowed vengeance against the goddess and devised an ultimate plan. In response, the goddess was said to have a plan of her own if in case the evil ever truly did return. Bionicle: Skyward Stooge*That's when the narration is interrupted by a white-gloved hand tearing the page out of a book.*Ghirahim: Hee hee hee… shows that they all know. So they truly think they are safe… well, they're wrong! It won't be too long before my master will take back this world and everything will be as it should have been…*Ghirahim smiled a demented grin, thinking of his master's great, college-educated plan and the important role he played in it. He looked over to a shelf and picked up a black Kanohi mask. It looked like the Kanohi Ignika, the mask of life, but it was something totally different.*Ghirahim: One of the first things I have to do is find some poor soul to wear this mask and become a herald to my master. I just don't know who… Well, whoever it is I pick, I'm sure it will be the right decision! Ha ha ha! I just love me so much!*Ghirahim's laughter could be heard throughout the snowy mountains where his mansion resided, creating an even more bone-chilling feeling to those who could hear it…**Somewhere in a dark forest, there is a great rumbling that causes the area to shake until the earth cleaves in half and a repulsive creature covered in shadow heaves itself upwards, letting out an animalistic roar. Covered in many scales and with hundreds of sharp teeth, it continued to get out from the ground, walking on its two legs. The creature was truly hideous, looking like a cross between a whale, an ostrich, and an earth worm, as it walked and observed its surroundings. It had no arms and no eyes, which only made things more questionable. And where were its ears? Well, nevermind. It let out one final roar before the vision of this creature fades to shadow.**It is a truly beautiful day in Skyloft as a crimson Loftwing and an indigo Loftwing soar through the clouds and the sun was shining brightly. A few people in Skyloft whistled to summon their Loftwings as they jumped off the edge (SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER!) and landed on their birds (well, that's a relief) to fly away. The indigo Loftwing flew away from its crimson counterpart, flying over to a rather large statue of the goddess known as Hylia.**By the statue, a young girl by the name of Nokama was practicing a song on her golden harp. Her practice was cut short when the indigo bird dropped by. The Loftwing was hers. She went over to stroke its beautiful feathers and handed it a note, which it took in its beak and flew away, knowing where to go. Nokama smiled as the bird flew away and turned back to face the statue of the goddess.**Elsewhere, a young man named Lewa was surrounded by darkness wherever he went. He then found himself face to face with the horrible half whale/half earth worm/ half ostrich thing as it roared at him. Scared, Lewa stumbled back. But then a brilliant light shone and the monster roared in anger as it retreated. That's when Lewa heard a voice… an autotuned voice… and no, it's not pop singer Ke$ha.*Female voice: Rise, Lewa. It is time for you to awaken. You are fated to have a hand in a great destiny, and it will soon find you. The time has come for you to awaken…Lewa: Who are you, mysterious woman?Female voice: Lewa…*The voice stopped and the light went away. As the creature roared one more time, it sounded more like a bird crowing. Lewa looked away and ran into an indigo Loftwing. The bird let out a loud screech that threw Lewa out of bed. That's right. It was all a dream! Who saw that one coming? Okay, I'll stop now.*Lewa: Ugh, my head…*Lewa looked around his room and then at the bird peeking its head from his window. The bird stared at him before spitting the letter at him, hitting him in the head. Then the bird quickly retreated and flew away.*Lewa: Now what was that for?*Lewa scratched his head and studied the letter. It was from Nokama. He opened the letter and proceeded to read it.*Letter: "Hey, sleepyhead, I know how much you like to sleep in, so I'm guessing this letter will be your alarm clock this morning. Did I guess right?"Lewa: You got that right. Why can't I sleep-rest some more? Well, it's better than the alarm clock she gave me last Christmas…*Lewa looked over at his cartoonish alarm clock, which looked like a rejected cat-like neopet.*Clock: Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Wake up. You are lazy and worthless. Ha ha ha!Letter: "Rise and shine, Lewa! Today's the Wing Ceremony! You promised to meet me before it started, remember?"Lewa: Yeah… considering you wouldn't stop mentioning it to me all last week.Letter: "You better not keep me waiting. Nokama."Lewa, stretching: Well, I better not.*Lewa looked around his room before heading out. His room was one of many within the Knight Academy, where other young people lived. He went downstairs where he noticed one of the top knights at the academy, Jaller.*Jaller: Morning, Lewa. So, today's the Wing Ceremony. Are you ready?Lewa: I was born to wind-soar, Jaller.Jaller: Well, I mean all I'm saying is that everyone is out in the plaza practicing while you seemed so relaxed.Lewa: That's them. This is me we're talking about. Jaller: Of course, that crimson Loftwing of yours is something special, so I'd be confident too. My bird won the last ceremony, but I doubt he'd be a match for that red terror of yours. Then again, a bird's speed in a race always comes down to the skill of the rider. I'm something of a bird researcher here, so if you ever need to know something, you know where to find me.Lewa: Yeah. You're walking outside at night.Jaller, gasps: Who told you?! I mean… uh… Lewa: Catch you later.*Lewa went into the classroom where he went and spoke to Professor Hydraxon.*Hydraxon: Hello, Lewa. It's time to put what you've learned to use. All those practical skills I taught you and all the academic prowess Professor Lessovik taught you!Lewa: Yeah, I got it. *As he exist the classroom, Jaller seems annoyed.*Jaller: I NEED FOOD!Lewa: Hmm… I should check on that.*As Lewa goes to see the lunch lady, he spots Matoro moving some barrels around.*Lewa: Hey, Matoro. What's with the barrels?Matoro: Oh, hey, Lewa. I wanted to go to the Wing Ceremony, but I'm stuck here moving barrels for the lunch lady. She scares me. Could you help me with this?Lewa: Sure thing.*Lewa takes the barrel and delivers it to the lunch lady.*Helryx: About time it got here.Lewa: Is it really necessary to trap-coop Matoro in here just to help you?Helryx: Yes.Lewa: Well, excuse me, princess.*Lewa walks out of the kitchen and waves good-bye to Matoro as he walks out the front door to go to the statue of the goddess. *
  13. All right, since there's split opinions on people who wanted either a Skyward Sword spoof or Wind Waker spoof, here's what I'm going to do. This is the skeletal script for the Wind Waker parody originally planned to be next. I call it this because for the most part, this is how I figure out what the story is going to be like. I just write down ideas on a word document in chronological order to serve as my basis. As I go along writing, I can eventually connect the dots between sequences to fill in gaps, thus making a full-fledged chapter. Since people want to see Wind Waker so badly, here is a one-shot chapter of it, even shorter than a Skyward Stooge chapter. I will eventually make a full version, but so people will stop bothering me about it and telling me bad things, here's this to hold you all over, so you can get an idea of what it could have been like had SS not been the next one I chose to make. EDIT: Okay, because I'm a really stupid moron who didn't check the topic name, this topic will now be where I post the future Wind Waker Spoof. So I guess come back here after Skyward Stooge is done and be ready for a new adventure. So consider this post Chapter 0. So those who mist feel lost, this takes place after the Dimwit of Time, when Lewa (DOT) leaves back to his own timeline, thus creating a whole new timeline alongside the one he left behind. He momentarily existed in both of them, but then crossed over with Navi, becoming separated from the elements that made him a hero, defeating Antroz and having the Triforce of Courage. Although when he returns home, the Triforce senses his presence, thus it breaks apart, giving Lewa back the Triforce of Courage and unknowingly giving Nokama and Antroz their respective Triforce pieces. Lewa stops Antroz from going through with his plans, all is well (until Twilight Delinquent when everyone finds out Antroz has the Triforce of Power). Meanwhile, in the other timeline, Antroz was imprisoned in the Sacred Realm (along with Toa Tuyet for whatever reason), and everything is just pinky fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows until Antroz breaks out and causes chaos. Since Dume is too old and senile, Nokama's uncle ends up taking his place as king for the time being after she asks for him personally. The newly anointed King Lhikan has trouble trying to figure out what to do, so he and everyone else tries to appeal to the goddesses and the Triforce, hoping for some solution when they realize there is no hero to come and save them. Ultimately, the kingdom is drowned and everyone's lives sacrificed. That is, save for Antroz and King Lhikan... This is but one of the legends the Matoran talk about. Just one. Not two. Not three. Not seventy-eight. Just one… Long ago, there existed a kingdom where a golden power lay hidden… in the middle of the field for everyone to see. It was a prosperous land blessed with green forests, tall mountains, LOTSA Spaghetti, and peace. But mostly LOTSA Spaghetti. But one day a wicked burn victim of great evil found the golden power and took it for himself because he figured “Hey, why not?” and because it was just right there in front of him, ready and ripe for the taking. With its strength at his command, he spread darkness everywhere, all within the time span of exactly seven days. But then, when all hope died and the hour of doom seemed at hand… A young Toa of Air appeared as if out of nowhere… when in reality he was just locked up in a temple for seven days. He brought fire with him. Wielding the blade of evil’s bane, he sealed the dark one away with some annoying Southern Belle girl and brought back light to the land… because taking him down right then and there to end his evil forever was not an option. Just seal him away in some realm of light with some hillbilly girl. The Toa who traveled through time to save the land was then named the Hero of Time. You know, because it made sense at the time. His tale was passed through generation until it became legend. Because no one wrote anything down, so no one could really recall things exactly. But then… there came a day when a fell wind began to blow across the kingdom. The great evil that everyone thought was gone forever and sealed away by the hero wasn’t actually gone forever. He and his mismatched partner returned, and he was eager to resume his dark designs. Big surprise there. Faced by an onslaught, everyone could only appeal to the Great Spirit and his three subordinates… because no one likes Hylia apparently, but enough of her. In their last hour as doom drew nigh, they left their future in the hands of Fate. Unfortunately, Fate wasn’t in a good mood that day and she didn’t help them. What became of this kingdom? None remain who know… which brings up the question of how I’m able to relay this story to you all… Bionicle: Wimp Waker -- Condensed *Somewhere on Outset Island, there was going to be something big going down…* Idris: Wake up, big brother! Lewa, getting up: Please exit my life and never return. Idris: I just drank 28 gallons of soda. Lewa: That’s really deep-interesting. Not. Why are you here? Idris: Grandma said she’s got your birthday present. Lewa: You mean nothing? Like every year before? Idris: Yeah. And when I asked her, she kicked me out of the house. Lewa: Then annoy-bug the neighbors. Idris: I don’t think they like me. Lewa: You’re weird. Give me the telescope. I’m going to look at things while you ramble on. *As Idris rambles on with her semi-non-coherent rambling, Lewa sees a giant mutant Nivawk with something in its claws, as well as a pirate ship shooting at it. What caught Lewa’s attention was a Toa of water in the talons of the bird. As the bird was hit by the cannons of the ship, the girl was released and she fell to her doom.* Lewa: Well, that’s not something you see every day. Look at the fat bird. Idris: You should go over there and help the girl. Lewa: You’re still here? Well, you might be right. And she does look cute. Idris: Cuter than me? Lewa: Yes. It’s not that difficult, you know. Even that “Toa Tuyet” I read about is cuter than you. *Lewa went up the boring path to the top of the mountain where he met this newcomer who didn’t actually fall to her doom. She just fell a very long ways.* Lewa: Who are you? Nera: I could ask you the same thing. Lewa: Common island dweller. Nera: Okay. So where am I? Lewa: Outset Island. And hey, I’m asking the questions here! Brutaka: Miss Nera, I finally found you. Nera: D’oh, Brutaka, I thought I told you to never go blurting out stuff. Brutaka: I’m sorry, Miss Nera, but you know how I get when I’m hungry. Nera: I’ll let you off. *Another boring walk later.* Lewa: So who are you? Brutaka: I’m a pirate. Nera: Brutaka! Lewa: He’s a pirate? Brutaka: I’m a pirate. Nera: Stop talking! Both of you! Brutaka: We’re all pirates. Nera: Oh, Brutaka, you’re so slow in the head. Idris, from afar: Big brother! Lewa: Oh, it’s you. Hey, I found some pirates. Nera: No, I’m not. Brutaka: Yes, you are. *Nera smacks Brutaka on the head and Brutaka cries out.* Brutaka: Is there anyone out there as unlucky as me? *In the irony of his words, the giant bird swoops in and takes Idris.* Idris: Bye, big brother! Lewa: Oh, no, you don’t, you stupid bird! You’re not going to force me on some epic trek-quest! *Lewa runs off the edge of a cliff (SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER!!), but Nera grabs him before he falls.* Nera: By the goddesses, you’re a moron… *Somewhere in the heavens…* Nayru: Think we should have chosen someone else to be our hero? Din: Maybe we should stop choosing them like this. Farore: Puppies make me smile! Nayru and Din: Shut up, Farore! *Back on Outset…* Nera: Say what? Lewa: You heard me. I gotta get my sister before she does something dumb. Nera: Like jump off a cliff? Lewa: Exactly. Nera: Okay. It’ll give me a good excuse to use my new catapult. Lewa: What? Nera, sly: Yup. *She hits Lewa on the head and knocks him out* *Before he knew it (and he didn’t), Lewa was dumped onto a catapult and sent flying through the air, sailing through the sky for many days and nights until he smacks his face right into a walled fortress.* Lewa: Well, good thing I’m an adorable cartoon character. Or else I could have died. Nera/ Pirates’ charm: Lewa, can you hear me? Lewa: Stop the voices in my head! Nera: No, check your pocket. *Lewa does so and sees the charm.* Lewa: Nera? What is this glowing-charm? Nera: It lets me talk to you. I put it in your pocket while you were out cold. Lewa: Oh… okay. You didn’t take funny picture of me as well, did you? Nera, nervous: Uh, no? Nera, thinking: Don’t say anything, Nera. He could be on to you and your secret crush on him… Lewa: Oh, that’s good. Where’s my sword? Nera: At the top of the fortress. Lewa: D’oh, kraata slime. *Later at the top of the fortress.* Lewa: I found you! Now to see who is behind this! *Lewa opens the door.* Lewa: I knew you were behind this! *Lewa points over at the cage with the other various young Matoran girls.* Lewa, calmly: Because who else would be behind a dungeon door? Idris: Big brother! *Just then, the Nivawk King swoops in, plucks Lewa, and delivers him to his master.* Master: Drop him. Tuyet, southern accent: Hi, there, cutie pie! *The Nivawk King drops/flings him away like nothing. And after miraculously surviving, Lewa wakes up and meets a frightening new face.* King of Red Lions: Hey, how’s it going? Lewa: Talking boat! How?! KORL: Magic. Lewa: Oh. KORL: To save your sister, you must defeat the evil dark master. Lewa: What’s his name? KORL: Antroz. Lewa: What’s he like? KORL: Well, you see, Antroz was a naughty boy who tried to take over the world until he got defeated and imprisoned with a friend of mine-- I mean… some insane lady. Lewa: Okay. KORL: Adventure! Lewa: Hey, look… *Lewa stands up, pulls out a white mask with a red disk from out of nowhere, and puts it on.* Lewa: Amon a boat. KORL: … Let’s go. *2 Temples later…* Lewa: Can we get to Antroz now? KORL: No. *1 mismatched sidequest later…* Lewa: Can we go get Antroz now? KORL: NO. *1 stupid tower later…* Lewa: Can we go get Antroz now? KORL: Not until you get the Master Sword? Lewa: Where? KORL: In Metru Nui! *1 deep-sea diving trip later…* Lewa: I found it! KORL: Good! Now we can go! To the Forsaken Fortress! *Back at the Forsaken Fortress…* Idris: Big brother! Lewa: Can you be less loud? Nera: I’ll take it from here! Lewa: Why are you here? Nera: To take these girls back to their fathers and get rich, that’s why. Lewa: Uh… Okay. What about my sister? Nera: We’ll just keep her onboard until you’re done here. Nera, thinking: That clueless look in his eyes is so… Lewa: Okay. *One silly boss fight later.* Lewa: Okay, Antroz, I killed your angry chicken! Antroz: Surprise backhand! *Antroz backhands Lewa.* Tuyet: Hey, y’all, Tuyet here. Antroz: I don’t like you! Nera: Don’t worry, my love, I will save you! Antroz: Get away from me! *As Antroz gets ahold of her wrist, his Triforce of Power starts to glow.* Antroz: My Triforce is resonating. I have you now, Princess Nokama! Nera: But… I’m not Nokama. Antroz: Don’t lie to me, Nokama. You’ve pulled this trick before with that whole “Nessk” disguise. Well, it won’t work now! *Just then, Lewa and Nera are randomly rescued by some filler characters I did not portray in this whatsoever. And then Valoo shows up and torches Antroz’s quarters.* Antroz: I’m on fire! Again! Why does this keep happening to me?! Tuyet: Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Nope, it’s just me. *giggles* Antroz: You daft twit! Are you that oblivious? We’re going to die here and all you can do is talk about how attractive you are! I’d rather go… marry… Elitha than continue being here with you! Tuyet: You admit you find me attractive! Antroz: I said no such thing! Tuyet: Admit it, sugar, you like me. Antroz: Can’t you see the fire?! Tuyet: Yup. It’s in your eyes, darlin’. Antroz: *sighs* Me mind on fire. Me soul on fire. Feeling hot hot hot. Party people, all around me feeling hot hot hot. *One travel back to the sunken city of Metru Nui later…* Lhikan: I’m the king of Metru Nui and the King of Red Lions! And you are really Princess Nokama! *Lhikan takes his part of the Triforce of Wisdom, takes Nera’s necklace, and it becomes the whole Triforce of Wisdom, which changes Nera to Nokama.* Nokama: I’m a princess! Lewa: I’m confused. Uli: I’m pregnant! Lewa: Who are you?! Lhikan: Now we must leave Nokama in this empty basement while we go save the world. Nokama: Will I be safe? Lhikan: … Yes. Nokama: I totally trust you! Lhikan: Now let us go, Lewa. Lewa: Whatever you say, Kingy. Nokama: Bye, my love! Lewa: What? Nokama: Bye… my… Lewa? Lewa: … Bye, my Nokama? Nokama, sighs happily: Take care. *Lhikan teleports back up as Lewa goes up the stairs.* Lewa: Why are you quick-warping? Lhikan: Because I’m rich! Walking is for poor people! Lewa: Okay. Bye again, Nokama. Nokama: Bye again, my love. *Back on the surface world* KORL: Now we have to go through two more temples to awaken the sages and restore power to the Master Sword. Lewa: How hard can that be? *2 temples and some random sidequests later…* Lewa: That was annoying! Now what?! KORL: We must go back to Metru Nui! Lewa: Good. KORL: But first we need the Triforce of Courage! Lewa: Okay, that’ll be easy! *a super long time later…* Lewa: Okay, I got these stupid Triforce charts. Can we find the Triforce of Courage now? KORL: No! Now we must get them deciphered! Lewa: By who? Tingle: Ti-iiiiiiiiinnnnnnngllllle!!! Lewa: Aw, darn it!! *one spent fortune later.* Lewa: Now what? KORL: Go find the pieces of the Triforce! Lewa: Wait, you mean this isn’t like some giant map? KORL: Nope. When the Hero of Time left, he broke the Triforce into eight convenient pieces. Lewa: I hate you, Hero of Time! I hope when you got back to your own time, that you broke the Triforce just by being there and made Antroz get the Triforce of Power as a divine prank! *one month later…* Lewa: I got it all! Now can we go!? KORL: Yes! Lewa: Finally! *Later still in Metru Nui…* Lhikan: Oh, no, Antroz broke in here and kidnapped Nokama after we left her here defenseless and alone in this easily accessible basement! Lewa: What are the odds of that?! *In Nokama’s room…* Antroz: It’s taking a long time for Lewa to get in here. While I’m waiting, how about I see what Nokama’s dreaming about? *Insert some random Toa Nokama X Toa Lewa pairing montage with some stupid romance song of your choosing.* Antroz: No! Take it away, take it away! My mind has been ruined forever! Tuyet: Aw, come on, sweetie pie, it couldn’t have been all that bad. Antroz: Then why don’t YOU take a look?! Lewa: Antroz!! Antroz: I’ve been waiting for you, Hero! You definitely are the Hero of Time reincarnated. I wouldn’t have expected less. Lewa: Enough talk, fight now! Antroz: Fine! *Antroz throws a cloak over himself, and then suddenly these long, sharp claws break forth, and soon there is a giant dragon puppet towering before him.* Puppet Antroz: I got me strings to make me move. Lewa, screams: A PUPPET!! *Lewa takes out his fire arrows and sets the thing on fire, causing it to die a terrible terrible death.* Antroz: You fool! You’ve ruined my dreams of opening a puppet theater when I retire! Well, if that’s how you’re going to play, fine! I’ll just take the obsessed girl with me! Tuyet: Wait for me, sugar! Lewa: You won’t sneak-pass by me that easily, puppet boy! *Later on top of the tower…* Antroz: My kind has been through a lot of pain and suffering over the years. Chancellor Teridax, Sorceror Mutran, so many more have met terrible fates at the hands of Toa! Now I am going to take back what is mine! Lewa: Huh? Antroz: Surprise backhand! *Antroz back-hands Lewa, knocking the sword out of his hand (which plunges into the ground about 2 inches away from the unconscious Nokama), knocking him unconscious, and allowing Antroz to grab his arm.* Antroz: O Powerful Triforce, come to me! *The crests on Antroz, Lewa, and Nokama’s hands glow, and the Triforce itself appears before Antroz.* Antroz: I want you to make me king! *Before Antroz can go touch it, Lhikan touches it first.* Lhikan: He who touches the Triforce gets his wish granted. That is what you said, is it not, Antroz? Tuyet, gasp: Then… that means… Antroz is no match for THE KING. Lhikan: I wish for hope and future for these young ones! And may you, me, and Tuyet drown with Metru Nui… Tuyet: Say what? *Antroz sounds like he’s crying at first, but turns out he’s laughing? Why? Probably because he lost his mind… or what was left of it. Around that time, Nokama and Lewa wake up.* Tuyet: Uh… I’m not the only one who heard that, right? Antroz: Fine! Be that way! Go ahead and waste your wish! I’ll show you what it’s worth! Lewa: Surprise Sword attack! Antroz: What?! *Lewa sneaks up on Antroz and… turns him into the new Pedestal of Time.* Antroz: Not… again… *Antroz falls to his knees, groaning in agony.* Antroz: The ambulance… it is coming… *At that moment, Antroz turns to stone with the sword still lodged in his head.* Tuyet: Now what will I do with my life without someone to adore me?! Lhikan: You have lost, Tuyet. Tuyet: NOOOOO!! Lhikan: I have been bound to this kingdom for centuries, much like Antroz… As my punishment for being a terrible ruler, I will now drown myself with my kingdom. Nokama: No! You can come with us! No one has to know about how terrible of a ruler you are! Lhikan: I must. *Before Lewa and Nokama could protest, they each become a bubble boy and bubble girl and float back up to the surface as the remnants of Metru Nui become flooded. Lewa reaches out to Lhikan, and Lhikan reaches out back, but Lewa is swept away and soon Lhikan and Tuyet fade away.* *Lewa and Nokama (who is Nera again??) awaken out at sea, to find Nera’s pirate crew and ship waiting for them.* Nera: Darn it! I was hoping we’d get marooned on a deserted island together! Lewa: The what? Nera: I mean… hooray, we’re saved. Lewa: Oh, yeah, we are. So what do we do after this? Nera: You could take me out. Lewa: What? Nera: Out… to sea… to find a new land. Lewa: Oh. That’s a good idea. He did say something about wanting us to be the future. Nera: Wherever we go, destiny will decide. Idris: Big Brother! Lewa: Shut up, Idris! No one likes you!
  14. Behold, possibly the lengthiest thing I've ever written at over 5,000 words. In fact it's so lengthy, looks like i've had to cut out the ending part for the time being. So read it when you have the time. Or not. Most everyone probably will not since the thing will say the topic is by ShadowBionics and everyone will go and run. But anyways. Before reading this thing, however... check out the links in my topic signature. This topic relates to the characters who appear in those stories and uses them in this short miniseries. Well, sort of. This borrows characters from the story Skyward Stooge, which has not been written on BZPower. I haven't since people were left confused or unsatisfied with the other chapters in the whole Zelda/Bionicle spoof series, mostly with Twilight Delinquent. So I have been on the bridge on actually sharing it with BZPower. There's 8 chapters already done and as you might tell from this thing, I have an idea of where the series is going. The title is a spoof of the Skyward Sword paraody Skyward Stooge, as well as one of my other favorite game series, Harvest Moon. For those not familiar with it, it's like a farming sim kind of game that allows you to plant crops and raise livestock, as well as some kind of other object like restoring peace to the valley, awakening a harvest diety, trying to save your grandfather's farm, etc. Another mechanic of the game is also trying to choose from one of 3-10 bachelorettes (or bachelors if you play as a girl) for your character to end up with. Throughout the Zelda games, Link is often paired with many other girls by fans, whether it be Zelda, Midna, Malon, Medli, etc., so this is kind of my spoof of both the Harvest Moon games as well as a nod towards the many pairings fans see with Link. Since Lewa fulfills the role of Link and Toa Nokama the role of Zelda, that was my start. And also before you ask, Some elements like the play are heavily inspired by Final Fantasy, so please don't be saying I'm ripping it off or anything, as I'm only spoofing it. Not to mention I doubt anyone would want me to directly spoof a Final Fantasy game. Even I don't want to see myself do it. Narrator: Within the faraway floating islands known as Skyloft, there slept a young simpleton who knew not of what the day ahead included for him. Little did he know that today would be the day he got up on the wrong side of the bed of The Zone Where Normal Things Don’t Happen Very Often. *Lewa was fast asleep in his room at the Knight Academy, sleeping in as he always did. Unfortunately for him, that peaceful sleep would end thanks to his alarm clock of Kiddy the Cat… who I question as to why his stuff hasn’t been canceled yet considering how downright evil and creepy he is.* Kiddy Cat Alarm Clock: Ha ha ha! Rise and shine, you miserable fool! Ha ha ha! You think I am joking, but I am not kidding! Ha ha ha! Time for another miserable day in your pathetic life! Ha ha ha! *Lewa presses the snooze button and lazily gets up from his bed. He decides that since he no longer feels all that sleepy, there was nothing better to do than to just get ready. As he gets ready, he takes a little glance at his calendar, tearing off the page to reflect the new day. No sooner than when he finished, there is a knock at his door.* Lewa: Um… who’s at my door? Nokama: Who else would it be, sleepyhead? Lewa: Oh, Nokama! Nokama: Are you ready? Lewa: Yeah, I’m all dressed. *At that moment, Nokama takes it upon herself to barge into his room.* Nokama: Does that mean we’re good to go? Lewa: Go? Go where? Nokama: On our date, silly. *Nokama shoves Lewa playfully, almost knocking him into his dresser.* Lewa: DATE?? Nokama: That’s right. It’s our four-month anniversary. Lewa: We’ve been dating for four whole months?! Nokama: I know, isn’t it amazing?! Lewa: Uh… not the word I had in mind. So where are we going… honey? Nokama, giggles: I’m so glad you asked. I have our whole day planned! I think we’ll just go and see the play, first of all. Lewa: Okay… it better not be that all-lame The Tragedy of Prince Furno play… Nokama: Don’t worry, it’s something much better than that. Now let’s go, or we’ll be late! Lewa: But it’s morning! Nokama: No, it’s 2 in the afternoon. You must have really been asleep a long time. Lewa: I have a bad feeling about this… *Somewhat at the theatre…* Head Usher: CON-gratulations! You two are our lucky 1,000th couple today! Lewa: All right! What do I win? Head Usher: A chance to be in our fan-tabulous play! Lewa: Aw, come on! Not even a large-mount of money? Head Usher: No. That’s reserved for our lucky one millionth couple. Nokama: Oh, cool, we get to be in the play! Aren’t you excited? Lewa: Oh… sure-fine. *So after some quick rehearsals, the play was ready to begin. What was the name of this masterpiece of a play? Eh, no one really knows, to be honest. Something about a dragon, a princess, a legendary hero, you know the same old, same old.* Play Narrator: Long ago in the mythical land of Galidoria, a dark shadow hung over the land, causing sadness and sorrow. When not moon nor sun had risen, the Evil Dragon King Gormidormizinga kidnapped the lovely Princess Cecilia and took her to his prison. What would happen to her?! When all hope seemed lost, the legendary hero Rupert came into town, to save the Princess Cecilia, who got taken away, and now the children don’t play. Lewa: Someone please torch-burn this theatre now… *Just then, a ballet-dancing knight came onto the stage.* Knight: You have to be the legendary hero Rupert! Lewa: Um… Lo, it is I, the hero Rupert. Knight: I am confident you shall save the Princess Cecilia! Now, please, speak with our king! *The ballet-dancing king enters the stage as the knight moves away.* King: Ah, it is you, legendary hero Rupert! You have arrived to save my beloved daughter! Lewa: Yes… King: On the highest peak of the tallest mountain lies the lair of the Evil Dragon King Gormidormizinga, who kidnapped Princess Cecilia! Lewa: Does everyone think I have short-term memory? I heard you loud-shout it the first time. King: Um… Please, talk to my most trusted wizard who will reveal to you the secret to defeating this diabolical fiend! *Just then, a ballet-dancing wizard arrives on the stage. Without any alternative really, Lewa goes to talk to the bearded wizard person.* Wizard: I am the great wizard Myotis! Lewa: No relation to Myotismon? Wizard: No. It is written only true love can defeat Gormidormizinga. Lewa, sarcastic: Great. I’ll grab my stuff. Wizard: There is no time. Your sword is enough. Story Narrator: Overhead, Legendary Hero! The Evil Dragon King has arrived, and in his clutches he holds the fair maiden captive! Gormidormizinga: I am the Evil Dragon King, Gormidormizinga. I have not harmed the princess in any way. I have long been expecting you. Nokama: Oh, save me, Legendary Hero! Lewa: I feel so silly right now… Wizard: To save your beloved, it will take a kiss of true love! The Evil Dragon King cannot withstand the power of true love. Lewa: Um… Fear not, for I will save you! *Lewa slowly walks over to Nokama and kisses her lightly on her hand.* Nokama: Oh, Lewa, erm, I mean, Rupert. Gormidormizinga: Argh, no! The power of love! It has destroyed me! *The dragon shoots off into the air (off stage)* King: Oh, look, the power of love has triumphed over evil! Now let us feast. Lewa: Thank Mata Nui it’s over… *Everyone ballet twirls off stage.* Story Narrator: How truly amazing is the power of love. And so our protagonists go on to live happily ever after… *Later outside a Ferris Wheel…* Lewa: Well, that was awful. Can we do something enjoyable now? Nokama: Oh, look, a Ferris Wheel! Let’s get on. Lewa: Okay, that sounds a lot better. *So the two of them get on and slowly ride up to the top. As they do so, there is a fireworks display taking place.* Nokama: Wow! Isn’t this just amazing?! Lewa: I’ll say. This definitely makes up for that awful play! Nokama: Oh, you, always such a kidder. *Nokama playfully slaps Lewa on the back…forcing him to fall out the window and fall down quite a distance before colliding with the ground.* Nokama: Lewa?! Are you okay? *Lewa cries in pain.* Nokama: Oh, dear… *The next morning, Lewa was back in his room… but oddly enough, he was perfectly fine! In fact, it was as though the day never actually happened! He was still in his room in the Knight Academy with his possessed alarm clock and everything.* Kiddy Cat Alarm Clock: Ha ha ha! Rise and shine, you miserable fool! Ha ha ha! You think I am joking, but I am not kidding! Ha ha ha! Time for another miserable day in your pathetic life! Ha ha ha! *Lewa presses the snooze button like before.* Lewa: Wait a minute! Didn’t I long-fall to my doom last night?! *Lewa throws off the covers to see he was unharmed, not a scratch on him, nor a sign of anything broken or hurt. He then looks at the clock, and sure enough it was still 2 in the afternoon.* Lewa: Something’s not right here. Why aren’t I in the hospital or anything?? Kiddy Cat Alarm Clock: Ha ha ha! You want peace and quiet? Too bad! Ha ha ha! *Lewa unplugs the clock and then shoves it in his dresser upon getting himself dressed. He then takes a glance at the calendar again… it was the same date as yesterday!* Lewa: Now I know I changed that calendar yesterday… *He simply tears off the page again for future reference. Then there was a knock at the door.* Alura: Lewa? Are you in there? Lewa: Um… yes? *The Toa of Water takes it upon herself to break down the door and walk into Lewa’s room.* Lewa: Aren’t you supposed to be working at the Lumpy Pumpkin? Alura: Oh, don’t be silly. My dad was more than happy to let me have the day off on our four-month anniversary. Lewa: Four months?! Alura: I know! Isn’t it so exciting?! Now, let’s get going. I stood in line for quite some time to get these play tickets? Lewa: You don’t mean…? Alura: Yeah, that one. I know you didn’t want to see the Prince Furno one. Lewa: I don’t feel so good… Alura: Oh, come on, you don’t want to spend our anniversary sick, do you? Lewa: What if I do?! *Alura giggles and simply takes him by the hand and drags him out of the room.* Lewa: How are we even dating? You never paid attention to me before! You made me heavy-lift a bunch of pumpkins without ever thanking me! *Somewhat at the theatre…* Head Usher: CON-gratulations! You two are our lucky 1,000th couple today! You both get a chance to be in our fan-tabulous play! Lewa: I’d rather get the money… Alura: Oh, how exciting! Have you ever been in a play before, Lewa? Lewa: Sadly, yes, I have… *So after some quick rehearsals, the play was ready to begin. What was the name of this masterpiece of a play? I still don’t know. Stop asking me!* Play Narrator: … Gormidormizinga kidnapped the lovely Princess Cecilia and took her to his prison. What would happen to her?! When all hope seemed lost, the legendary hero Rupert came into town, to save the Princess Cecilia, who got taken away, and now the children don’t play. Lewa: Seriously, doesn’t anyone remember this play from yesterday? Darn it, I rhymed!! Argh! *Just then, a ballet-dancing knight came onto the stage.* Knight: You have to be the legendary hero Rupert! Lewa: You’re kidding me, right? Knight: Oh, um… I am, um… confident you shall save the Princess Cecilia! Now, please, speak with our king! Lewa: You don’t sound all that confident. *The ballet-dancing king enters the stage as the knight moves away.* King: Ah, it is you, legendary hero Rupert! You have arrived to save my beloved daughter! Lewa: Yes… King: On the highest peak of the tallest mountain lies… Lewa: No, no, no, wait, let me guess… Is it the lair of the Evil Dragon King Gormidormizinga?! King: Um… yes! You are wise as you are brave! He has taken my daughter! Please, talk to my most trusted wizard who will reveal to you the secret to defeating this diabolical fiend! Lewa: As long as this play ends… *Just then, a ballet-dancing wizard arrives on the stage. Without any alternative really, Lewa goes to talk to the bearded wizard person.* Wizard: I am the great wizard Myotis! Lewa: How are you not ripping off Myotismon? Wizard: Uh… no time for joking around, great hero! It is written only true love can defeat Gormidormizinga. Lewa, sarcastic: Great. I can’t wait to bomb some dodongos Wizard: That… has nothing to do with what I said. Lewa: I don’t care! Story Narrator: Overhead, Legendary Hero! The Evil Dragon King has arrived, and in his clutches he holds the fair maiden captive! Gormidormizinga: I am the Evil Dragon King, Gormidormizinga. I have not harmed the princess in any way. I have long been expecting you. Alura: Oh, save me, Legendary Hero! Lewa: Let it end, please! Wizard: To save your beloved, it will take a kiss of true love! The Evil Dragon King cannot withstand the power of true love. Lewa: A kiss, huh…? *Lewa runs over to Alura with the desperate hope of ending the play sooner, but then he accidentally trips and knocks over both Alura and the stupid dragon with the stupidly annoying name.* Gormidormizinga: Huh? What the--?? *The dragon king with the stupid name then shoots off into the air for no apparent reason and a maiden falls back down.* Lewa: That’s better. Alura, hurt: Wh-what?! King: Oh, look, the power of love has triumphed over evil! Now let us feast. *Everyone ballet twirls off stage… except Alura* Story Narrator: How truly amazing is the power of love. And so our protagonists go on to live happily ever after… Alura: Why doesn’t anyone like me?! I hate this play! I hate all of you! *Later outside a Ferris Wheel…* Alura, crying: So, Lewa… Not going to lie, but that was one of the meanest things you’ve ever done. Lewa: Not any more mean than heavy-lifting a bunch of crazy pumpkins! Do you know how much effort it took me?! Some of them nearly swipe-took my head off! If anything, now we’re even after tonight! Alura: Oh… okay… You know what would cheer me up? Lewa: Forcing me to play an instrument with you on stage to make me look like a fool? Alura: No, silly. How about a romantic ride on the Ferris Wheel? I hear they’re going to have fireworks going. Lewa: Do I have to? Alura: Don’t you like spending time with me? Lewa: At first glance, I thought I would, but after seeing what a twerp you are… Alura: Let’s get on! Lewa: Why do I even talk? I hope whoever my descendants are, they don’t fall head over heels for your descendants… *So the pair rides the Ferris Wheel up to the top as the fireworks are going on. Alura is entranced by them while Lewa doesn’t pay attention to them.* Alura: Isn’t this beautiful, Lewa? Lewa: Let me see… Nokama was struck-thrown out of the sky by Ghirahim… went to the Sacred Grounds… Alura: All the colors are just so beautiful and hypnotic. I’m so glad to have you here watching it with me. Lewa: Went to Skyview Temple… fought off Ghirahim… now I’m back here…? Alura: I can’t stay mad at you when the moment is so beautiful, Lewa. Lewa, sarcastic: What a relief. Alura: Say, do you remember how we first started dating? Lewa: No… Alura: Oh, don’t be playing silly. I sang for you. Lewa: No… Alura: So, just for this occasion… Lewa: NOOOOO… Alura, singing: Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number. So call me maybe? Lewa: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! *About 2 and a half minutes of ear damage later…* *Lewa and Alura get off from the Ferris Wheel as it comes to a halt and allows them to leave.* Alura: I had such a wonderful time! Did you Lewa? *Lewa continues walking, not even looking back at her.* Alura: Lewa? Honey, is everything all right? Lewa: Never… again… Alura: I’ll… see you tomorrow? Lewa: Tomorrow would be most EXCELLENT! *So after talking like Bill and Ted, Lewa goes back to his room in the Knight Academy to sleep for a good 8 hours. And then he wakes up again.* Kiddy Cat Alarm Clock: Ha ha ha! Rise and shine, you miserable fool! Ha ha ha! You think I am joking, but I am not kidding! Ha ha ha! Time for another miserable day in your pathetic life! Ha ha ha! *Lewa presses the snooze button like before.* Lewa: HUH?! But I unplugged you and shove-hid you in my dresser! Kiddy Cat Alarm Clock: You think you can get rid of me, but I am still here! Ha ha ha! *Lewa takes the moment to stomp on the alarm clock a few times before kicking what was left of it under his bed. Once again he gets dressed, hoping the nightmare would be over, but then he looks at his calendar again…* Lewa: How is this happening?! It’s still the same day! *Lewa tears off the page again and rips it up into shreds. As soon as he’s done fuming with rage, he hears some knocking at his door…* Lewa: Oh, Mata Nui, please don’t let this continue! Dalu: Oh, my beloved sweetheart, are you ready? Lewa: I… I’m as ready as I’ll ever be… *That’s when Dalu, the Item Check girl, swaggers into Lewa’s room.* Dalu: All right, now let’s go before we’re late. Lewa: Late for what? Dalu: For the play, silly. Lewa: Oh, no…! Dalu: I know you’ve been wanting to see this play for the longest time. Lewa: I don’t even know how it is you’re in love with me! Dalu: Oh, silly, don’t tease me. I wanted to do something special for our-- Lewa: Four month anniversary. Dalu: Oh, you remembered! You’re such a-- Lewa: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m the world’s best boyfriend. If we hurry up, we might get there before we’re the… *Somewhat at the theatre…* Head Usher: CON-gratulations! Lewa: Oh, come on!!! Head Usher: You two are our lucky 1,000th couple today! You both get a chance to be in our fan-tabulous play! Lewa: Seriously, I’d rather get the money instead… Dalu: Oh, this is just so exciting! Have you ever been in a play before, darling? Lewa: You have NO IDEA! *So after some quick rehearsals, the play was ready to begin. What was the name of this masterpiece of a play? I already told you I don’t know, so stop asking me!* Play Narrator: … hero Rupert came into town, to save the Princess Cecilia, who got taken away, and now the children don’t play. Lewa: I might as well have fun with it if I’m stuck in this stupid play. *Just then, a ballet-dancing knight came onto the stage.* Knight: You have to be the legendary hero Rupert! Lewa: Yes, it is me! Rupert, legendary hero and sometimes the live-action Dr. Claw! Knight: Yes, well… I am, um… confident you shall save the Princess Cecilia! Now, please, speak with our king! *The ballet-dancing king enters the stage as the knight moves away.* Lewa: Lo, your majesty! How is the Duke in the land of Gamelon? King: Uhh… there is no time to jest, legendary hero. The evil dragon king is approaching. Lewa: Aw, yeah, it’s go time! King: Please, talk to my most trusted wizard who will reveal to you the secret to defeating this diabolical fiend so you can save my daughter! Lewa: With great haste, I go to the right platform to ride-drive a train to Hogwarts! *Just then, a ballet-dancing wizard arrives on the stage. Without any alternative really, Lewa goes to talk to the bearded wizard person.* Lewa: How are you, Dumbledore?! Wizard: I am the great wizard Myotis! Lewa: Speak quickly, Myotismon! Wizard: I said my name is Myotis. Lewa: Make haste, VenomMyotismon! I think the Evil Dragon King may be getting closer! Wizard: Look… I’m just doing my job. You don’t have to be so rude. Lewa: So tell me, MaloMyotismon, what is the secret to defeating this evil fiend?! Wizard: Love. True love. A kiss ought to do the trick. Lewa: Thank you, great wizard Mytosis! Story Narrator: Overhead, Legendary Hero! The Evil Dragon King has arrived, and in his clutches he holds the fair maiden captive! Gormidormizinga: I am the Evil Dragon King, Gormidormizinga. I have not harmed the princess in any way. Lewa: Some evil dragon king you turned out to be. Gormidormizinga: I have long been expecting you. Dalu, over-acting: Oh, save me, Legendary Hero! Lewa: Right ho, fair maiden! Although it will be most difficult to kiss a maiden such as yourself… Dalu: I… beg your pardon?? Lewa: Well, yeah. Someone with a voice so shrill that can break-shatter glass. And when anyone looks at you, their face will simply melt off. Dalu: Get incinerated, you no-good freak! *She breaks away from the dragon and slaps Lewa so hard he gets thrown backwards.* Gormidormizinga: You two are possibly the worst actors I’ve ever worked with. Dalu: Don’t talk to me, you lame movie monster reject! *Dalu then performs a Thunderclaw Kick, immediately KO’ing the actor playing the dragon.* Story Narrator: Um… Christmas with The King! Good night, everyone! *Oh, so that’s the name of the play… well, that settles that.* *Later outside a Ferris Wheel…* Lewa: Oh, come on, Dalu, I had lots of fun tonight! Didn’t you?! Dalu: … Lewa: Have you been talking to Kopeke? *Lewa sighs* Lewa: Ferris Wheel ride? Dalu: Gee… that would be lovely. *So the pair rides the Ferris Wheel up to the top as the fireworks are going on. Dalu is instantly entranced by them while Lewa doesn’t pay attention to them, considering this is the third time he’s seen them.* Dalu: They’re so pretty tonight. Wow! *Dalu is kneeling on the chair, looking out the window as Lewa sits there looking both annoyed and confused.* Dalu: Something about them just makes you want to stare at them forever! Lewa: … Dalu: Oh, Lewa, I’m sorry for getting so upset. Although I’m still not sure why you were being so mean to me today… Lewa: Um… too much stress? Dalu: Oh, Lewa, I’m so sorry to hear that. But next time you’re under stress, just let me know so we can work it out together. Lewa: That’s really not-- *Dalu takes the time to lightly peck Lewa on the cheek.* Dalu: Lewa? Lewa: Never… again. *Once the Ferris Wheel stops, the both of them get off.* Dalu: Well, despite the play being one of the most embarrassing nights of my life and the awkward kiss, I had such a wonderful time! Didn’t you, Lewa? Lewa? *Lewa just keeps on walking briskly, ignoring Dalu.* Lewa: By the goddesses, let this be over!! *The next morning, Lewa was back in his room… but was it really “tomorrow” like he hoped it would be?* to be continued...
  15. The next chapter in the Dimwit of Time series, hope you enjoy this story as much as I do. *It had been a peaceful time in the land of Metru Nui. Antroz was seemingly defeated and everything was peaceful. There couldn’t be more peace. If there was more peace in this land, then everything would just be in an fiery deadly explosion of peace!* Lewa: GEE, it sure is BORING around HERE. *The king of this land was taking a drink at this moment, but then he stopped.* Lhikan: MY BOY, this is peace is what all true warriors STRIVE FOAR. Lewa: I just wonder what Antroz is up to! *This “interesting” conversation is interrupted when some guy with a funny hat comes in riding a magic carpet. And somewhere else, Krekka came back to life, grew to be a giant, and smashed a house made of candy and declared “Oh fe fi fo fum fi fo fum fi fi fum fum! Hiss my name!”* Vastus: Your Majesty, Antroz and his minions have seized the island of Koridai. Lhikan: Hm…. I wonder what’s for DINNER? Vastus: It is written only Lewa can defeat Antroz. Lewa: Great! I’ll grab my stuff! Vastus: There is no time. Your sword is enough. *As Vastus does the Thriller dance, Lewa grabs his sword and turns to face Princess Nokama.* Lewa: How about a kiss? For luck? Nokama: You’ve got to be kidding. Lewa: Well, excu-uuuuuuuse me, Princess. *Lewa gets on the genie’s magic carpet and they fly away. And no, there will be no singing of “A Whole New World” sadly.* Vastus: SQUADALAH! We’re off! *Flying overhead, Lewa takes notice of some of the strange mountain formations on the island.* Lewa: Wow! What are all those HEADS? Vastus: These are the Faces of Daftness. You must conquer each. Lewa: I guess I better get going. Vastus: Here is the map. Where do you wish to go? *After taking 3 hours to decide, Lewa goes to Crater Cove, where he finds a bunch of lizard guys, some freaky crab things, and a real working volcano. He then goes into the house of some random guy with one of those crab things.* Hafu: Yulp yulp, that’s a bigg’un! Yulp, that’s a bigg’un. Biggest crab I ever caught! Yulp yulp yulp! Lewa: That’s a Gohma! Hafu: Yulp yulp, that’s a bigg’un. Here, that this! *And so Lewa got the Power Sword, because it totally makes sense.* Lewa: Thanks! Hafu: Keep up the good work. After you defeat Antroz, we can go back to fishing! Yulp yulp. *Lewa leaves, totally oblivious, and heads over to the face of Goronu… which has a shop there. Lewa beats up some of the lizard guys, takes some of their money, and heads into the shop, where an interesting shopkeeper takes care of the place.* Strakk: Lamp oil. Rope. BOMBS. You want it? It’s yours, my friend, as long as you have enough rubies. Lewa: Yeah! *Lewa buys some stuff until he’s poor.* Strakk: Sorry, Lewa, I can’t give credit. Come back when you’re a little… Mmmmmm richer! *Lewa leaves to go to the face of Nortinka, which is full of ice, ice guys, and snow.* Lewa: Yay! Snowball fights! *Lewa gets rid of some enemies with the snowballs (dang, I didn’t know snowball fights could be so violent) and goes into a random igloo.* Varian: Help! Antroz froze the fountain! Now I’m stuck. Lewa: Sorry. I don’t like to talk anyone ice-frozen. *Lewa finds a SECRET PASSAGE after leaving the frozen Toa to find a big brain reading a book.* Lewa: Hey! Why are you alone, big brain? Nuju: I’ve been dedicating time to find out how to stop Antroz. I need the Book of Koridai. Lewa: Okay by me. Nuju: Find the Book of Koridai, and then I will be able to help you further. Lewa: Got it, weird-freak.
  16. Yeah, I know, this is very late. Well, sorry about that, but college beckons and I must answer. So this was actually a story in my "vault" that I wanted to post for Halloween. I am 2 days (3 days if it's past midnight) late since I couldn't get onto BZP in time. With that said, sorry if it seems dated and irrelevant. Hope that you'll enjoy it anyway. I was actually wanting to make a "sequel" to this story, but... well, you'll see when you get to the end.For those who followed my stuff since the old BZP, you might recognize this story. For those who haven't, this will be new to you. And before you ask, I unfortunately can't find the original topic anywhere. And since this is sort of part of the "Dimwit of Time" series, I figured it ought to be posted alongside the main stories since I'm giving them new life. DOT: Lewa's Halloween*It was a semi-normal day in the city of Metru Nui. Well, that's not even entirely accurate when you take into account the inhabitants of said island city. Perhaps we ought to go and visit another place for Halloween?*Lewa: Hello, everyone, I'm Toa Lewa, and this is Navi.Navi: Why aren't you wallowing in self-pity like you're supposed to be?Lewa: This is a spin-off, nothing has to make sense.Navi: Darn you, Lord of shadows.LOS: I can do whatever I want, so too bad for you!Navi: So what is it that we're supposed to be doing?Lewa: According to Shadows' notes, we have to go around and see what goes on during Halloween.LOS, takes notes: Who keeps going into my notes so I can wring their necks in a cheese grater?!Lewa: Let's ask this guy. Hey, what are you supposed to be?Happy Mask Salesman: I'm actually very proud of my costume this year… It's an authentic Toa Lewa costume.*But obviously the freak with the swollen back was dressed in purple, not green like the real Lewa was.*Lewa: What? What are you talking about, you don't look like me.Happy Mask Salesman: Hey… you're dressed up as Lewa, too.Lewa: What? No! This is how I actually dress-up. Besides, I'm the one-only Lewa! Besides, can't you wear one of your freak-masks?Happy Mask Salesman: Wear one of my masks…?*He grabs Lewa and begins to strangle him like a serial killer.*Happy Mask Salesman: I HATE MASKS!!!Lewa: AAAHHH! Get me out of here!Navi: No, I think I'll sit this one out.*So since this is a family-sort of story, I'm going to cut out the brutal details of what happened next and skip over to the next part, somewhere in the woods.*Lewa: "Happy Mask Salesman?" Crazy Mask Salesman is better-suiting.Navi: So are you going to give up and give it a break?Natalie, singing: Give me a break, I'm melting away. You're so dangerous…Lewa: No, I think I'll keep going. Besides, with the ever-hawt Natalie here, anything is possible.Natalie: I'm only supposed to make limited cameos in this one, so don't be too over-confident. *laughs.* See you around.Navi: Hey, there's a homeless guy.Lewa: Hey, homeless guy, what are you dressed as?Remote, wheezing: I've got on a Lewa costume, I'm really happy for it.Tael: I honestly don't know why you are, man.Lewa: You're stupid! You look nothing like me!Remote: I'm not supposed to be you, Lesovikk, I'm supposed to be Lewa.Lewa: Why do people keep saying I look like that guy? Well, your costume sucks, go get another one, you make me sick!Remote: But I don't have another one… except for this cursed mask… But it's supposed to be evil.Lewa: That's sure-fine for Halloween! Go get it.Remote: Well… okay… *So Remote reaches into a sack and pulls out Elitha's Mask and puts it on.*Lewa: How do you feel?Remote 2.0: Hail Karzahni!!Lewa: See, you're in the spirit already!Remote 2.0: Foolish mortals, now prepare to suffer my wrath!*Remote knocks Lewa off balance and takes off with Tatl and Tael.*Remote 2.0: All who oppose me shall perish.Navi: That was weird… and why does he have more than one fairy with him? Who does he think he is, you?Lewa: Well, he's definitely nothing like me, that's for sure.Navi: Okay, I think we should get out of here now.Lewa, mocking: Why, are you afraid you-know-who is going to get you?Navi: Who?Lewa: The guy whose name you can't say because if you do he comes and takes you away forever.Navi: What, like Candle Jack?Candle Jack: Hello…Lewa: Oh, you've done it now, Navi.Navi: Great…*So what's his name takes Navi and ties her up (which is amazing considering how small she is) and takes her away…*Lewa: Maybe that explains why she didn't come out in the sequel. Oh, well, I'll go to the coliseum and see what's going on there.*In the coliseum…*Vahki 2: Sir, it's Armageddon.Dume: I love that movie! Where's Bruce Willis?Vahki 3: No. People are getting kidnapped everywhere.Dume: Really, how come?Vahki 1: Because they say the word Candle Jack and then--Candle Jack: You rang?Vahki 1: Darn it.Dume: I didn't know it was Halloween already! I better go get my costume on and throw another party!Vahki 2: What about Candle Jack?Candle Jack: I'm going to need more rope.Navi: Don't push your luck, freak show.*Outside in the garden.*Lewa: Hey, Nokama.Nokama: Oh… it's you. What do you want now?Lewa: Please don't tell me that you're dressing as me for Halloween.Nokama: Of course not, only serial killers and demented mask salesmen would want to dress like you.Lewa: They're not the only ones. I like to dress as me, too.Nokama: Guards?Lewa: Wait, you didn't answer my question~Nokama: I don't need to.*Lewa gets thrown out of the coliseum and then the gates close on him so he can't get back in… unless he goes over them by flying, but let's not push it.*Lewa: Wow, she sure got meaner after I… *As he gets up, he meets with Antroz, face to face…* NOOOOO!!!Antroz: What are you screaming about?Lewa: Oh, I thought I was having my nightmare again. What are you dressing up as?Antroz: Well, you see, as a member of the Brotherhood of Makuta, I don't have to dress up since I can just shape-shift into whatever I want to. Plus, since I'm a Makuta, I can threaten people to give me all the candy I want and there's no one to stop me…Antroz's mom: Now, Annie, don't eat too much candy or you'll get a tummy ache.Antroz, flying away: You can't stop me, mom! I make my own destiny!Lewa: O_O That was weird… This sucks, I'm going home now.*Somewhere by Pon Pon Ranch…*Iruini: Oh, hello there.Remote 2.0: Silence mortal! Give me candy!Iruini: No, no, it's Trick or Treat.Remote 2.0: I think you underestimate me, you pathetic spoof of an Italian plumber… I am wearing the Mask of Elitha… I'm also dressed as Lewa and I have Navi the fairy with me!Tael: What? I'm not any Navi, you fool!Remote 2.0: Silence Navi!Iruini: Are you trying to tell me something?Tatl: We might as well just live in Lazytown for all I care, you people are freaks.Remote 2.0: Forget Lazytown! Everyone knows that it's Bear in the Big Blue House where it's at. If you won't give me candy, then allow me to introduce you to Luna…*Remote taps into the powers of Elitha, throws his head back, floats into the air, and emits a high-pitched scream. No sooner than when he does, the moon (which has a face on it now) starts to draw closer to the ranch.*Iruini, spazzing out: What in the world is going on here?!Tatl: Could be worse, you could've been kidnapped by Candle Jack.Candle Jack: It's rare that a woman calls my name, you know…Navi: Hey, what am I?Tatl: Oh, great…Tael: Dang it, woman, you know you're not supposed to say Candle Jack!Candle Jack: Pleased to meet you…Tael: Wait, I said Apple Jack, not Candle Jack! Darn it, I said it again!Candle Jack: Thanks for your honesty, now I'll be sure to tie you up double.Vahki 1: This reminds me of last Friday night at the Copa Gukko…Remote 2.0: Ready, Luna? Hey, this was very fun…Luna (The Moon): We hoped you liked it, too.Remote 2.0: Seems like we've just begun…Both: But suddenly we're through…Remote 2.0: Good bye, good bye, good friends, good bye…Both: Because now it's time to go…Remote 2.0: But hey, I say, well that's okay.The Moon: Cause we'll see you very soon, I know…*And then as the song continues, the moon collides with Metru Nui and everyone perishes to their doom. The end.*Lewa, passing by: Hey ,what's that in the dis-- *But it was too late as he was blown away by the massive explosion brought on by the collision of the moon. Did he die along with everyone else? Possibly. Time passed on and by the next day, Remote found himself in the ruins of Metru Nui, not aware of what went on the previous day...*Remote, groaning: Ugh.. what happened? What was I doing last night? *He removes Elitha's mask from his face and starts looking around.**That was sort of a mistake as the eyeholes of the mask glow red and the mask slowly rises into the air behind Remote.*Remote: Didn't there used to be some city here? I could have sworn there was around here, I know it.Elitha: Yes, my little puppet, you are correct... there was a town here, but now it is no more, courtesy of me! *cackles*Remote: What? Man, you're even more derranged than I am, and I kill people for a living.Elitha: Bah, your tactics are child's play compared to my superior plans! With that said... *She raises her scissor scythe and then zaps Remote into oblivion.*Candle Jack: Wow, you have style, I'll give you that.Elitha: Thank you. Now go, whatever your name is and do whatever with your... captives as you please.Von Nebula: Come here often?Elitha: Beat it, Von Nutcase. And Happy Halloween, everybody.Von Nebula: I'll get you, Stormer!!!Elitha: You annoy me. You're all prickly. And why are your legs on backwards?Von Nebula: Because I've got style.Elitha: No, you're just a freak with gaps in his armor.
  17. All right then, hey everyone, ShadowBionics here again with the next installment of the "Dimwit of Time" series, which follows as a direct sequel to "The Moron's Mask." This is going to be a spoof of Twilight Princess, and as you can guess I'm spoofing the "Link/Child" timeline of the Zelda timeline. As for the "Zelda/Adult" timeline, that will be for some other day in the future. Anyways, let's get on with the story.Like with TMM, this is all pre-written stuff. The first chapter was written in November of 2010, and I was actually going through a difficult time around that month. Hopefully it doesn't show. The story is still on-going, as I just finished chapter 25. The story itself won't go past 30 chapters, so no worries there. However, the chapters are definitely going to be lengthy, so there won't be any combing chapters this time around. And if there is, then it won't be as often. First chapter, right at you now.*Long ago in the land of Metru Nui… there lived a boy and his horse. They were the best of friends and they loved each other. They also had a friend named Mr. Wall of Fire. The boy's name was Antroz, but Antroz was a naughty boy who did evil things revolving around some princess girl and this crazy hero guy in green.**It was up to the sages to execute him, but they failed miserably. They took it upon themselves to banish him to a prison for the greatest of criminals, thus sending him down into the Zone Where Normal Things Don't Happen Very Often…**They believed it would solve all their problems when in fact they only made everything that much worse than before…*Bionicle: Twilight Delinquent*It was peaceful out in Metru Nui, it was so peaceful that it was boring.*Rusl: Hey, Lewa…Lewa: What is it, freak?Rusl: I have a name, you know.Lewa: Really? What is it?Rusl: You know… I've been so lost and confused in my life, I don't even know my true name.Lewa: Then you are a sad, strange-wagon. You have my pity.Rusl: I hope you don't feel weird...Lewa: Too late for that, weird-freak.Rusl: I just wanted to sit down by this waterfall.Lewa: They call it as spring, weird-freak.Rusl: I like looking at the spring… I could stare at it forever. Do you know what kind of water that is?Lewa: No… I don't take swim-dips in the water.Rusl: Look at how clear and crystal that water is. You know, they make Sprite with this water.Lewa: What, are you serious?Rusl: Yeah, this is where Sprite comes from. Just look at it. They take the water and put it into Sprite cans and bottles everywhere.Lewa: You are insane, you know that?Rusl: Maybe. I was going to tell you something important.Lewa: What?Rusl: You're adopted and no one ever loved you.Lewa: …Rusl: That's what I wanted to tell you.Lewa: I kinda figured that since I don't have parents. At least... not that I can fully remember, aside from my dad before he got dragged to the funny farm.Rusl: Okay, I'm joking. What I really wanted to tell you is there's this city of Metru Nui and we're just outside of it. Ever heard of it.Lewa: Somewhat.Rusl: Yeah, it's this big place and we're at like the edge of it.Lewa: I feel like I've been there before.Rusl: Well, you never have been, that's the other thing I wanted to tell you about. Okay, now go to work for the ranch.Lewa: I don't wanna go to work.Rusl: Too bad.Lewa: I hate you, weird-freak.Rusl: That's not my name!Lewa: I have to call you something since you don't have a name.Rusl: Don't call me that!Lewa: What do I call you?Rusl, sigh: Okay, fine… but only because I lost my true name.*Lewa and Rusl get up and start walking away from the spring. Lewa had to get to the ranch, as he was nothing but a simple ranch hand. He was unaware though, that there were bigger things lined up in his destiny… With Epona, he rode to the ranch and got ready to get to work herding these scary goat-like things. And since I found this tedious (and glitchy the first time I played it on the Wii version), I'm going to skip to the end.**Lewa was able to get the job done herding the goats around, despite how stubborn a lot of them were. Yeah, his job this time around isn't as exciting as those of his ancestors in the days long past. He went to the other spring to take a load off of his mind, considering lately his mind was tormented with visions of some sun-burnt yelling guy with the Triforce of Power and a red/black crazy girl who danced to the song "Night Nurse." But they're not important, so let's ignore them.*Lewa: Well, that was tedious.Hahli: Oh, hi, Lewa…Lewa: Oh… hello.Hahli: How you doin'?Lewa: I'm... sure-fine to say the least.*There is an awkward moment of silence before the two split up and Lewa goes into his home for some sleep... and to get tormented by nightmares of the yelly guy and the freaky lady who lives in a mask. That's all ended when there's someone calling for him... a bunch of the scariest kids you'd ever see, especially the evil baby...*Lewa: Okay, what do you brats want?Talo: There's a slingshot at the store!Lewa: What am I, 10? I don't play with kid-toys!*5 minutes later...*Lewa, panting: Must... search-find... money... to get... slingshot!*Lewa drives himself crazy getting enough money and smashing some pumpkins (lol, Smashing Pumpkins). He literally goes the distance to find some money. On some stone pillars, he spies a monkey holding some weird bundle of something...*Lewa: That monkey got money? Only one way to find out.*Unlike his ancestors, he doesn't take that much of a direct approach. He takes some grass and plays me a song and summons a hawk.*Lewa: Go get the money!*He sends the hawk to the monkey, the hawk grabs the bundle and brings it back. Sadly it wasn't money, it was actually a baby cradle.*Lewa: What the blaze is this? Maybe I can sell-pawn if for money.Uli: You found my cradle!Lewa: Uh... of course I did. Now give me a reward!Uli: Take this fishing rod!Lewa: Aw! Well, maybe I can sell-catch some fish then.*That is exactly what Lewa does and he starts his own fishing business (without a fishing license, for shame), but that is short lived once a cat comes along and starts to steal his fish.*Lewa: Get back here! I'm going to kill that—*Lewa runs after the cat, which goes all the way into the store. Lewa breaks in.*Lewa: You cat snatch-stole my fish!Shopkeeper: Sorry, I can't give credit.Lewa: How do I get money then?Shopkeeper: I don't know. Take this bottle of milk, go nuts.*Lewa got a half-empty bottle of milk. But more importantly, he got a bottle!*Lewa: I don't drink milk...
  18. The follow-up to The Dimwit of Time, here is the sequel based on Majora's Mask, promptly named The Moron's Mask. This picks up 6 months after the end of The Dimwit of Time and follows Lewa as he goes off to try and find Navi, and instead he finds a demented toy who wants to bring destruction with the help of the Kanohi Elitha, the Mask of Death.The story was written 2 years ago in 2010 and was originally suggested to BZPower back then as well, but I discontinued it after the first chapter and continued to write it elsewhere. As such, while I have gone and updated parts of the story, there are still some old, dated jokes and references that remain. Also, for those who are familiar with me from 2006-2010, don't worry, she won't be in the story as much. Those days are over for me now. However, she still does play a part in the story. Anyways, onto the first, slightly modified chapter.In the land of Metru Nui, the people speak about a legend... A legened about a crazy Toa of Air with a sword and fairy who saved Metru Nui. Together, they faced many hardships, like Vahki guards, a creepy talking bird, a burnt yelling guy, and so on. They traveled a great distance from the city to the desert and back. After defeating a great evil, they were seperated as the fairy could no longer take the lunacy of the Toa. This left him confused and wanting to find her.Now in search of his lost friend, the legend continues...Bionicle: The Moron's Mask*It had been about 6 months after Toa Lewa triumphed over the evil Antroz, rescuing Nokama and saving Metru Nui... or so he thought, anyway. He and Nokama uneasily became friends and she helped him get ready for his search for Navi, very eager to get him out. She enlisted the help of some of her best knights... one of which had a dark secret that no one would ever know for a long time.*Lewa: What're ya going to do?Tahu: I don't know why I have to listen to Gali.Lewa: Her name is Nokama.Tahu: Whatever. "You have to go get him out, he's going on a journey!" I tell you. I got most of your stuff. I got that shield of yours that oddly looks like it belongs to the hard-working Iruini. I also got your skyblaster and your bow and arrows and bombs and stuff like that. And I kept your Air Sabre for you, so you're all set up.Lewa: Thank you, fellow hero! Now I'm off to search-find Navi!Tahu: I don't know what a Navi is, but okay, I guess whatever makes you happy. I'm going to go home now and wonder about why it never snows in San Francisco.*Because he never got Epona in this timeline, Lewa was walking through the tangled mess that was the chute system of Metru Nui. As he walked on, he was suddenly tripped by a strange figure who looked like a mere puppet. As he closed in on Lewa, it was seen that he was wearing some sort of evil, immoral mask, like one only a Makuta would wear. Even then, this was a mask even the Brotherhood of Makuta considered to be evil and dangerous for them due to the legends and experiences that surrounded it. When the evil masked puppet spoke, his voice sounded like it came from the throat of someone who enjoyed pain...*Remote 2.0, Dr. Claw voice: Heh heh heh heh... I'm so evil, evil is so fun. And what is this?*Accompanied by two fairies, the evil puppet went to inspect the body of the unconscious Toa.*Remote 2.0: Oh, look, a dead body. *He kicked Lewa over on his side and inspected him.* Now time to rob him and leave him in a stupid pose. Heh heh heh... Oh, look, and ocarina.*The puppet took the ocarina and plays a few notes.*Tael: Dang, man, we got the jackpot! Let me see.Remote 2.0: Okay, have it your way.Tatl: Wait, this isn't Burger King!Remote: 2.0: Who said anything about Burger King? Heh heh heh!Lewa, getting up: Oh, man, I hurt my head... *The Toa looked over and saw the strange freak playing his ocarina.* Hey you. Who are you?Remote 2.0, hiding ocarina: That is none of your concern. Now go back to being dead like a good little boy.Lewa: No!Remote 2.0: That wasn't a request, that was an order. Now let me go go about my business in peace.Lewa: But that's my ocarina! Give it back.Remote 2.0: How about I make you a trade... I keep your ocarina and you... fall down this hole!!Lewa: That's not a fair-trade!Remote 2.0: It is to me...*The robot kicks Lewa down into a rabbit hole and his mind is seduced with subliminal messages, mostly concerning buying Oxyclean and Orange-Glo. Finally, he landed on top of a large flower. Ae he got up, he stood face-to-face with the evil thief, who held a remote in has hands like it was some weapon.*Lewa: Good thing this flower was here, that long-fall could have been serious.Remote 2.0: Indeed...Lewa: Oh, it's you. Give me my ocarina!Remote 2.0: No. I think I'll just keep it for myself. I'll pawn it off for some money or something.Lewa: Look-see... You don't want to get on my bad side... I'm the Hero of Time! I defeated Antroz and I saved the princess!Remote 2.0: Oh, please, that doesn't frighten me. Unlike Antroz, I am actually evil.Lewa: Oh, like that's going to scare me?Remote 2.0: I cancelled and closed most of ShadowBionics' BZPower comedies!Lewa: Monster! Now I'm really going to kill-handle you!Remote 2.0: I think not. You see, this remote gives me some incredible power. This mask contains great and powerful dark magic as well. In fact, all I have to do is utter the cursed words, and you will be completely powerless.Lewa: What cursed words?Remote 2.0: Burning Deoderant!*At that moment, a violent sensation overcame Lewa's body, and he fell to the ground. Then in his mind, he found himself surrounded by many Deku Scrubs, all laughing at him.**In Lewa's mind*Deku Scrubs, chanitng: One of us! One of us! One of us! One of us! One of us!Lewa: Get away from me! *The Toa ran for his life, forgetting that he could fly, from the Deku Scrubs, who just multiplied and overcame him in a giant mosh.*Deku Scrubs, chanting louder: One of us! One of us! One of us! One of us!*Lewa snapped out of his vision and when he looked in the reflection and saw who he was (lol, Christina Aguilera reference), he got the surprise of his life.*Lewa: Mata Nui's pointy shoulders...! You turned me into a plant thing!*Indeed he was, but more specifically he was actually more of a Deku scrub with that wooden body and that long trumpet-like nose. We all know he's a Deku Scrub, but he doesn't seem to realize that quite yet. Not until it kind of hits him later on, but what am I saying, really? Let's all go back and enjoy the story.*Remote 2.0, demonic laughter: Now you'll never be as cool as me with that silly appearance! *As the weirdo-turned-dark lord floated away with Tael, Tatl stayed along to start beating up on poor Lewa.*Tael: Darn it, hurry up over there!*Before Tatl could stop beating him up, the door closed between the two fairy siblings. Tatl flew to the door, trying to open it, but her body was too small and frail to do so. She then went back to Lewa.*Tatl: Hey, you!Lewa: All right! I finally found you, Navi!Tatl: Uh... what's a Navi? Some sort of yogurt?Lewa: That's your name... You. Don't you remember?Tatl: If I was this Navi friend of yours, would I have jsut beaten you up a minute ago?Lewa: Yeah. You did that a lot to me, especially when I was in the middle of something, if you were trying to stop me from doing something, you wanted me to do something, or if you were bored.Tatl: Listen you wooden freak, I'm not this Navi! I'm Tatl, and I need you to help me catch up with Remote and my brother Tael.Lewa: Oh, Navi, you're so crazy.Tatl: *groans.*Lewa: You think your name's Tatl?Tatl: I don't think, I KNOW it is.Lewa: And your brother's name is Tael?Tatl: Yes.Lewa: If you put those together, you get--Tatl: Yes, I know that...Lewa: Tael-Tatl. *stupid laugh.*Tatl, groans: Something tells me this is going to be a really long day...*So the fairy and her new grass-Toa companion set off through the underwoods... lolz, Underwood. Like Carrie. Underwood. Okay, I'll shut up now.*Tatl: Come on, Lewa, I see a door up ahead!Lewa: Great! Now I can kill-handle that Remote guy for turning me into a grass Pokemon!*As Lewa opens the door and steps inside, they go into what looks like a creepy clockwork tower.*Tatl: I've wanted to ask you about that. You changed species, but your voice sounds the same. Sounds like lazy writing on behalf of the writer.Happy Mask Saleman, Scottish accent: Aye. That is a lazy bit of writing indeed.Lewa: What the Makuta?! Who are you?!Happy Mask Salesman: Oh, me? I be the Happy Mask Salesman. I sell happy masks. I also sell EVIL MASKS! Masks from the darkest depths of Karzahni! The kinds of masks that could enslave all Matoran kind and demand massive sacrifices and then watch Finding Nemo and laugh at the bit where his mum dies! But other than that, they're mostly happy. I've got an Al Pacino mask on may backpack, and that makes everyone happy.*That's when the creepy salesman goes into his crazy instant-changing poses.*Happy Mask Salesman: I was wondering if you could do me a favor. You see, I have to leave here in 3 days and one of my cursed masks got stolen by a weird Robot with targets painted on his cheeks and a messy blond wig.Lewa: Robot with messy blond wig? I've seen that guy!Happy Mask Salesman: Yes, him. I thought maybe you could get it back for me, you know?Lewa: Sure, I guess.Happy Mask Salesman: That's great. You know, people say if you carry a cursed mask for too long ,you go crazy. But I've been doing it for years, and I'm not crazy. *He then grabs Lewa and starts berattling him.* I mean, DO I LOOK CRAZY TO YOU?!Lewa: Would you let me go?!*The weirdo lets go of him and goes into another instantly-changing pose.*Happy Mask Salesman: Not yet. First, I must teach you the Song of Healing...Lewa; Oh... no... what's he gonig to do?!*That's when the freak starts to get his groove on to the music of KC and the Sunshine Band. He puts his hands on his face and starts flailing his head.*Music: Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake.Happy Mask Salesman: Shake your whole self. Shake your whole self!*He then makes a frowning face and starts bending back and forth a bunch of times.*Music: Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake.*Lewa and Tatl, scared out of their minds, take advantage of the moment and head for the doors.*Happy Mask Salesman: Oh... he's gone now. But I'm sure the rest of you will stay here and listen to the rest of the song, right?To be continued...Happy Mask Salesman: Okay, fine, then you all can fall down a hole.
  19. All right, well a friend said they wanted to see this story on here. This is the fourth edit of the original, the first being on the old BZPower that was met with some... negative criticism about being short and rushed. Well, this being the fourth edit, I've expanded the story, Lewa now talks, and there are more characters who should have been in the first and third edits but weren't included. This is a spoof of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. It's technically the first in my series (unless I spoof Skyward Sword), spawning two sequels called The Moron's Mask and the ongoing Twilight Delinquent.This has been slightly edited from the actual fourth edit, mainly to slim down on the reading, and for those who have read the actual fourth edit, I'd appreciate it if you stay silent about it, where it is, and what parts I left out for time. A long time ago... In a land of darkness, despair, fear of spaghetti, and stupidity, there echoes a legend... A legend held dearly by the inhabitants of the City of Legends that tells of a Toa... A Toa who wished to be a hero and do right to save the world from a dark evil who wished to turn it into a realm of darkness and evil. This is the story of that Toa, and the story of a princess and an evil burn victim. Bionicle: The Dimwit of Time *Deep within Le-Metru, there was a large tree with a mustache and large mouth. This was the Great Deku Tree and he was a... I'm not sure. Just let him tell you about his life, then.* Great Deku Tree, voice-over: In the vast, deep forest of Metru Nui...Long have I served as the guardian spirit. I am known as the Deku Tree... The children of this place, the Matoran, live here alongside me. And each one has their own guardian fairy... at least I would think so. However, there is one dweller in particular who does not have a fairy because he's a sad, strange little man who has weird dreams... *Inside the mind of Lewa, he was having another nightmare, although the same as the ones he had been having for the past few weeks. He is standing outside the Coliseum, the gates are opening.* Lewa: Whoa, creepy doors… *It is raining outside and a storm is brewing. Then all of a sudden, two beings atop a mount pass right by him, one being a young Toa of water. Lewa moved away before being trampled, staring back at her...* Nokama: Lewa, help!*The two rode away and the dream continued. Lewa, stunned, got to his feet again. He turned back to face the Coliseum, only to meet face-to-face with a dark being with a unsettling vibe.* Antroz: I have some special plans for you... Lewa: NOOOOOOOOO! *Lewa had been having the same nightmare, but even though this wasn't the first time he still had no idea what it meant...* Great Deku Tree: Oh, Navi the fairy, listen to my words, the words of the Deku Tree... Navi: Why do you refer to yourself in third person? Great Deku Tree: Nonsense. The Deku Tree never speaks in third person. Navi: Uh... okay. Great Deku Tree: Dost thou sense it? The climate of evil is descending upon this realm... Malevolent forces even now are mustering to attack our land. I think it is time for the loser without a fairy to discover his... "destiny..." Navi: And what destiny is that? Great Deku Tree: Why, to do battle against these forces of course. Now set out and retrieve this loser from where he sleeps. Navi: Whatever, you great, wooden coot. *That is when Navi leaves the woods and sets off to find Toa Lewa in his home somewhere in Le-Metru.* Navi: Why does it have to be HIM...? Of all people, why? *Navi continues flying through, passing the forest and into Le-Metru and passing by some various folks* Nuju: I'm so sad and alone. Navi: Well, good luck with that. *Wanting to get away from Nuju, she flies away really fast, bumping into a conveniently placed fence. Shaking it off, she goes on.* Navi: I hope no one saw that. Nuju: I did! Navi: Quiet, lonely boy! *Navi continues to fly through until she makes it to Lewa's home where she finds him still sleep.* Navi: Finally! This place is so full of freaks, I swear! Hey, lazy boy, wake up! Lewa: No, please, get away from me! *Lewa did not awaken. He's probably harder to wake than Mata Nui is. Oh snap!* Navi: Screw it, I don't want to go near that lonely guy again. Wake up! *she starts beating him up until he woke up.* Lewa: I didn't do it!*Lewa finally woke up and to his surprise he saw Navi, but he wasn't sure what she was. She looked like a lightbulb with wings to him initially, but then saw she was something else entirely. Navi took notice of his look of confusion.* Lewa: Who are you? What are you? Some kind of hovering lightbulb? Navi: I'm Navi. I'm a fairy in case you're wondering, you fool. Now come on, the Dummy Tree has a job for you to do. Lewa: Okay. So are you like my own fairy now? Navi: Yeah, I guess so. He just told me to take you to him and assist you. Lewa: Fine by me. Navi: Whatever, just get on down there. The Deku tree gets all fidgety when things don't go right.*So Lewa left his home. He thought about his dream for a moment, but then forgot about it for a moment. Of course, Lewa had no time to worry about such things and paid them no attention, despite that fact that these dreams actually meant something. As he walked, his thoughts were interrupted by a greeting from a friend.* Hahli: Yoo-hoo! Lewa! Over here! Lewa: Oh, hey, Hahli. *The green hero turned around to see it was Hahli, one of his closest friends since... a long time. He stopped and turned to face her as she ran closer to him. She slowed down as she got closer to him, her expression changing.* Hahli: Oh... you've got a fairy with you...Lewa: Yup, I've got my own fairy now like everyone else.Hahli: I'm... really happy for you. I hear the Deku tree wants to talk to you.Lewa: Wow, news sure does fast-travel around here. Hahli: Yeah, it sure does. You know, if the Great Deku tree wants to talk to you, it must be important. It's a real honor to talk to him.Lewa: Yup, so I guess I'd better get going. Wait… I feel a disturbance.Hahli: What do you mean? Lewa: I feel like somewhere else, there's an alternate pocket dimension where I'm cheer-happy all the time and I say annoying things that make everyone hate me. Hahli: I wouldn't dwell on that. Just ignore it, you'll live longer. Lewa: You're right. I'll go talk to the Deku tree now. Hahli, smiles: Well, good luck, I hope it all goes great for you. *Lewa was about to get near, when he was stopped by a fellow Toa of Air named Mido. He was a bit of a pain in the neck and he hated nearly everyone. He hated Lewa more, seeing as he was friends with Hahli, and he had a mad crush on Hahli.* Mido: Hold on there, Lewa. I, the great Mido, won't let you go walk-pass without a sword and a shield. Are you crazy? Lewa: But I already got those. *He holds out his air sabre and his own shield as proof.* So you can't just claim-say I don't have them. Mido: What? Shoot! But I still won't ever accept you as one of us. You don't even have your own fairy like the rest of us do! Lewa: Actually… I happen to have my own fairy as well as of this morning.Navi: Here, there. I'm a fairy. Mido: What? Shoot! Lewa: Did you forget your glasses at home? *Mido grumbles as he steps aside to let Lewa pass through. As Lewa goes through, he meets up with some vicious Deku baba plants that try to attack him. Luckily, Lewa makes quick work of them. After that, he approaches the Great Deku tree himself.*
  20. Monsters Run, run away! Toa Metru Matau's legs pounded beneath him as fast as he could force them. He tried flying once more, but the wind not only ignored his command; it laughed in his face.Toa of Air, the breeze whispered, not so great without me, are you? "Why... are you... doing this?" Matau gasped, still running around and around the track. Mangled, wrecked vehicles lay scattered across the floor, tripping him and getting in his way.For fun, came the hissed reply. "Oh, great. For a timemoment, I was troubleworried you were going evilbad." Matau said in between breaths, every syllable dripping sarcasm. "Now I headknow you're just cruelmean."Save your breath for running, Toa, the wind mocked. Run, run away. He's gaining on you. Run. The creature chasing him snarled in rage, saliva dripping off it's six-inch fangs. It ran on all fours, like a Rahi, but the face bore a much more intelligent rage than a mere animal. How Matau knew that, he wasn't quite sure because he dared not look back and check, but he did know it. Hearing the sound of it's footfalls grow nearer, he pushed himself harder to get away. Away to his left, somewhere in the darkness of the track, he heard Vakama yell in pain. "Firespitter?" Matau called back, accidentally slowing his pace. "Matau!" Vakama shouted in anger. "You did it again! You've ruined everything!" The Toa of Air barely dodged a lunge by his pursuer. "Yeah, well, now I feel much less heartinclined to helpgive," he muttered. "Matau?" a lovely female voice cried. "Matau, where are you?" "Nokama!" Matau's heartlight skipped a flash. "I'm here... I'm right here. Where are you?" "Behind you!" Matau struggled to comprehend that and slowed again. "But... the rahicreature--" "--is me!" Nokama called sweetly. "Don't run away! Please." "I don't want to fearrun from you, Nokama, but that thing isn't you." Matau pleaded, still running down the endless test track. For a moment, the only sound was his own light footsteps and his ragged breathing. Then, sobs echoed in every corner of the Le-metru hub. Nokama was crying. Abruptly, Matau planted his feet and turned around. Whatever happened, no matter the danger, he would never leave Nokama alone and crying. With a snarl of hate, the creature sprang on him and ripped his Kanohi Mahiki off with it's bird-like talons. It stank of filth and decay and poison. Pain ripped through his side as it's talons gouged his chest armor. "Nokama!" Matau yelled. "Quickstop! It's me; you're hurting me!" The creature's mouth twisted into what was supposed to be a smile. "She was never here, Toa." The voice was eerily familiar. "There is only you and me. And soon, only me." Matau pitted all his strength against the attacker, but to no avail. Without the wind, he was powerless. "What are you?" he screamed. "Look me in the face and tell me you don't know," the creature chortled mirthlessly. Against his will, against reason, Matau stared straight into it's eyes. "NOOOO!"- - - - - "Matau!" Nokama shook her teammate's shoulder. "Wake up!" He shuddered, opened his eyes and recoiled. "Ahh!" Nokama Hordika rolled her eyes. "Thanks a lot." "Oh, Nokama," Matau groaned, rolling over and sitting up, "thank Mata Nui it's you." "You were screaming. I thought I'd better stop you before you brought all the Visorak on top of us," she chuckled. "Onewa and Nuju have gone to take their turn on watch. You can go back to sleep." "No!" Matau said quickly. "I'm never dreamsleeping again." The Toa Hordika of Water shook her head sympathetically. "Nightmare? We're all getting them. What sort of freak monster was it?" Matau stared. "How'd you know it was a monster?" Nokama smiled drily. "Because every other time I've woken you up, you've asked me if I do it because I care." "Oh, yeah. That." "So what kind of Visorak was getting you?" "Not a Visorak, a monster," the Toa Hordika of Air corrected. "A very scarybad, evilgrin monster." "Makuta," Nokama muttered, cursing under her breath. Matau shook his head. "Worse. I was the monster."-S
  21. Lewa0111 Nuva

    Ask Matau!

    So I've started up a rewrite of my second comedy, the ever-popular Ask Matau!. I decided that in addition to reusing the old questions as they appeared in each chapter, I'll also be adding in additional questions that anyone sends in with the new forums. So, Ask Matau! is once again accepting questions! Send them in, please! Lewa0111
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