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KONGU AND KEETONGU Episode 1 by Aerixx One morning, Kongu woke up to the sight of a red light shining in his eyes. The red light said, “Hello.” Kongu, like any decent Matoran, started screaming and trying to bat it away. Needless to say, he failed epically. The red light remained unmoving until Kongu finally exhausted all of his energy. When Kongu resigned himself to the fact that he was about to be eaten by a laser-pointer, the light leaned back and revealed itself to be... (cue Mortal Kombat “fatality” voice) Keetongu. Kongu started screaming again, then shut up. Then he said: “You want cookies? I have-own cookies... maybe... or something...” Keetongu didn’t understand anything. So, like any decent buff ninja cyclops thing, he asked, “Do you speak Matoran?” Kongu replied, “Yes, I do.” Keetongu, uncomprehending, repeated, “Do you speak Matoran?” Kongu, slightly very confused, answered again, “Yes. I speak Matoran.” “Do you speak Matoran?” “YES! Dude, I AM a Matoran!” Keetongu, even more confused, asked, “You are Matoran? This not Soviet Xia joke where ‘Matoran speak you’, this real?” Kongu facepalmed. “There are two kinds-types of Matoran: Us, and our language.” “You are Langwajj? Hello, Langwajj.” Kongu got up, looked at Keetongu, and said, “Let’s go eat-consume some cookies. Then maybe-possibly your mind’ll clear up.” Keetongu, still not understanding, stood from his crouching position and attempted to follow Kongu out of the hut’s small bedroom, but tripped on a random friction connector pin, tripped, and brought the ceiling crashing down on himself. Bamboo and curved slope parts came raining down and, as Keetongu tried to get up, a random Kanohi Kualsi fell onto his face (or whatever you call it). Kongu, only slightly disappointed by the destruction of his bedroom, grinned under his Miru and reached for the Kanohi, saying “Oh, hey, you found-discovered it! Thanks!” But before he could grasp it, Keetongu disappeared. He heard a surprised “Uh?” a few feet away, and when he turned, Keetongu was just vanishing again. “Wait-stop!” He called, but all he got in reply were random “Ooh!”s and “Wee!”s as Keetongu teleported around the hut in rapid succession. Kongu was at a loss of what to do. So he decided a tactic that always worked (at least on Po-Matoran): food. He held up a cookie and screamed, “Cookie!” Keetongu immediately appeared in front of him, grabbed the cookie, and vanished again. Now all Kongu heard were the sounds of the cookie being smashed against the faceplate of the mask as Keetongu tried to eat it somewhere on the roof of the kitchen. Kongu then called out, “Come over here and I’ll make you able to eat it!” Keetongu plopped down on the rubble by Kongu and looked at him expectantly. And creepily. Because his one eye-stalk was twisted through one of the eyeholes of the mask, so it appeared as if a Ko-Matoran had asked an amateur mask-maker to add an eye-piece to his Kualsi. Ugh. Kongu promptly popped the mask off Keetongu’s face (or whatever you call it). Keetongu promptly stuffed the cookie where his mouth would’ve been. But, since the characters in this story retelling go by their toy forms, not their movie forms, and Keetongu lacks a mouth in toy form, the cookie crumbs ended up clogging his Rhotuka-launching mechanism and causing it shoot a spinner which, in turn, smashed into Kongu and sent him flying through whatever was left of the walls to the house, leaving a suspiciously Matoran-shaped hole. Keetongu sighed and went to look for Kongu. Not long after, he found him head-first in a thornbush. He reached out with a massive hand to pull Kongu out, but the thorn bush squirmed and said, “No. My tasty.” Keetongu blinked his one eye in surprise and reached forward again. This time the bush growled, “My tasty. Go get your own.” Keetongu sat down in amazement. Was this a kind of Rahi? Or maybe a Makuta experiment, like the sentient mountain? In any case, he had to probe it for more details. “Who you?” He asked. “A bush.” “Why you want to eat Langwajj?” “I eat tasty because he is tasty. Go get your own.” “You want more tasty tasty? “I can has tasty more tasty than this tasty?” “Yes.” “Okay. Bring me tasty!” The bush snarled, and so Keetongu set off to find a Matoran for the bush to eat. After a while, he almost stepped on a little brown Po-Matoran. “Ow! Watch it, dude! I’ll have you killed! Teridax, this fat cyclops is bullying me! Waaaaaaaah!” Ahkmou whined. Keetongu calmly picked him up by the double-bevelled gear on his back and carried him all the way back to Le-Koro. “Hey bush! I have tasty for you!” Keetongu bellowed. All he heard in reply was “Taaaa... sssstttyyy...” and then a muffled gasp. Ahkmou started to snicker, but his laugh turned into a scream as Keetongu chucked him at the bush, knocking Kongu out of its maw and producing countless “ouch”s and “eek”s, followed by one final "Waaah!" Keetongu picked Kongu up and dusted him off. “Hello, Langwajj. More cookies?” ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, this was chapter one of my first comedy. Did you like it? Should I keep going? Comments are appreciated, and critiques are welcome!
So lately I've started watching the new sci-fi show, "Terra Nova," and I've been really impressed so far. Sure, there have only been four episodes so far (and new ones come out every other week), but what I've seen has been awesome. And then earlier today it occurred to me that the basic premise behind the show would be pretty easy/fun to make into a BIONICLE spoof, and since actual episodes come out so sporadically anyway, it would be easy enough to keep updated, similar to Pohatu Puppet Pals. I'm not sure yet if I will actually write this comedy or possibly wait a little while, but here's my general idea and concept I've started considering. "Terra Nova" is a show about humans in the future discovering a time portal to the Cretaceous period, and sending people through it to start a new colony on the other side in a more primitive, less industrialized setting. So, my idea is, what if an accident involving Vezon and his Olmak caused a dimensional/temporal rift to appear, letting Spherus Magna inhabitants go through and end up back on the island of Mata Nui pre-cleansing? They could then start a colony including Glatorian/Agori as well as the MU inhabitants we've come to know and love, and have hilarious adventures with Rahi and other craziness as a vaguely defined spoof of the show's episodes. Since the show isn't already a comedy, it would be easier to spoof than if it was already funny to begin with. I also would write the comedy in such a way that it would make sense and be funny even to those who haven't seen the show, since it's relatively new and not all that well-known yet. But we'll see. The comedy will tentatively be titled "Mata Nova." First, I've got to get through my midterm week... Thoughts? Lewa0111 Nuva