Jump to content

  • Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter Log In with Google      Sign In   
  • Create Account

Welcome to BZPower!

Hi there, while we hope you enjoy browsing through the site, there's a lot more you can do if you register. The process is easy and you can use your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account to make it even faster. Some perks of joining include:
  • Create your own topics, participate in existing discussions, and vote in polls
  • Show off your creations, stories, art, music, and movies and play member and staff-run games
  • Enter contests to win free LEGO sets and other prizes, and vote to decide the winners
  • Participate in raffles, including exclusive raffles for new members, and win free LEGO sets
  • Send private messages to other members
  • Organize with other members to attend or send your MOCs to LEGO fan events all over the world
  • Much, much more!
Enjoy your visit!


Photo

The Best Thing to Say

FFFC Sunset

  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Legolover-361

Legolover-361
  • Members
  • Stellar Storyteller

  • 3,495 posts
  •  

Posted Jun 10 2013 - 10:44 PM

The Best Thing to Say

 

Kate Huong was awakened in the morning by the ringing of a phone. She opened her eyes and blinked them sleepily. Her momentary disorientation faded fast; she was not at home but in the tidy if small guest bedroom of her grandparents’ house, lying on one bed while her younger brother, Zachary, lay on the one to her left.

 

Yes. In her grandparents’ house. But only Grandmom was home.

 

Her stomach grew suddenly upset. In response, she curled up and shifted underneath her blankets, too cold to forsake their comfort. The digital clock on the bedside drawer read 6:38 AM. Too early. Kate shut her eyes again, hoping sleep would follow soon after.

 

The ringing stopped. Her grandmother’s voice filled the silence in its place.

 

“...Yes... Right, I understand... Thank you...”

 

Click. Kate tried opening her eyes again. She could hear more voices now: her parents engaging Grandmom in conversation. The murmurs proceeded for perhaps a minute; then footsteps approached the guest bedroom, the door opened, and Grandmom delivered the news.

 

* * *

 

The Saturday morning was cold in the manner of most autumn morns, but it was not unpleasant. The Huongs, however, had no time to enjoy it. They, plus Grandmom, were packed in their well-worn black Chevy Equinox and off to the hospital within minutes.

 

Zach, as most twelve-year-old boys would, complained about the lack of breakfast but was stymied by his mother’s terse censures. This, said Mom, was more important.

 

They entered the hospital, where the parents and grandmother whisked the children through hallways that looked the same, into a set of elevators with mirrored interiors, and down another hallway into one of the patient wings.

 

Grandpop’s room number was engraved in Kate’s memory as it was in the gold plate that was mounted beside the door.

 

He was wheezing weakly when his family entered. Transparent pipes ran up his nostrils and, Kate had been told, down into his throat. Kate had asked her grandfather on a visit some weeks ago if the pipes bothered him, and her parents had made very clear on their way back home that such questions should not (the word “not” was emphatically iterated and reiterated) be asked of a patient, and Kate had learned in her sixteen years of life that vocal disagreement with her parents would accomplish nothing.

 

The question about the pipes seemed moot then and there, in Grandpop’s ascetic white hospital room, as he took what the doctors said would be his last breaths and Kate’s stomach levitated.

 

When Grandmom got nervous, she also got fussy, hence why she was asking for the second time if the doctor to whom she was speaking had given Grandpop painkillers.

 

“Yes,” said the doctor, a dark-skinned woman with braided hair and a nameplate on her medical coat that read Von Dyke, and she proceeded to list a series of names that sounded more dangerous than helpful.

 

Grandmom seemed appeased. The doctor left soon afterward.

 

Alone now, the Huongs crowded round the bed. Grandpop’s eyes seemed closed, but his eyelids were twitching. “Can you hear me, John?” asked Grandmom; Grandpop seemed to nod slightly, but the movement could have been involuntary.

 

“Shh,” said Mom unnecessarily. “Come on, now, tell Grandpop how much you love him. Zach, you first.”

 

Zach took his place by Grandpop’s head, leaned over, and said, “I love you, Grandpop.” He paused, trying to think of more words, but then sucked in a breath and held it as he moved aside for Kate.

 

Grandpop’s breaths sounded more painful up close. Kate bent her knees to move her mouth nearer to Grandpop’s ear but couldn’t speak. She breathed through her nose to calm her jittery nerves and thought.

 

“I love you” seemed inadequate, but “we’ll miss you” was too depressing; “get better soon” was out of the question, as was a simple goodbye; and Kate, at this moment, felt nowhere near eloquent enough to vocalize, without being depressing, how hollow she felt and how sorry she was that her Grandpop wouldn’t live to see her and Zach grow to adulthood. She felt acutely the barriers of spoken language and, on a whim, wished Grandpop could read her mind.

 

But he couldn’t. Kate knew that. She also knew that her whispered, “I love you too, Grandpop; we all do,” was not the right thing to be saying. If it wasn’t the best thing to say, though, what was?

 

She sat soberly on the chair nearest the window as her parents and Grandmom said their goodbyes. The sky outside was streaked with clouds that glowed with incandescent colors, red and orange and gold: a beautiful sunrise, but when she was called to leave the room with Zach and her parents led them to the hospital cafeteria, she could only think of sunsets.


  • 0

#2 Offline Grantaire

Grantaire
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Members
  • Mask of Light Unveiled

  • 5,048 posts
  •  

Posted Jun 14 2013 - 09:11 AM

It's simply a crime there's no reviews for this, LL, this is another one of your excellent works. It was short and simple, but very good: I've been spending enough time in hospitals recently to tally empathize with the atmosphere. 


  • 0

#3 Offline Legolover-361

Legolover-361
  • Members
  • Stellar Storyteller

  • 3,495 posts
  •  

Posted Jun 14 2013 - 10:11 PM

Thanks, Zar. I have experience with hospitals as well, so this story is rather personal for me.
  • 0

#4 Offline Naina

Naina
  • Members
  • Seeker

  • 222 posts
  •  

Posted Jun 17 2013 - 07:59 AM

This is a beautiful piece. It brings out the emotion and sorrow clearly, though I would it was a little longer because it's so well written and I wish to taste the flavour more clearly...

It's a somber topic and you did justice to its gravity. Your adjectives paint the atmosphere concisely well. Your portrait of the supporting characters, though brief, is deft.

Your protagonist appears multidimensional, a noteworthy achievement for so short a story. Kate's dilemma is well illustrated, showing a firsthand knowledge of grief. (May I offer my condolences if this is the case?)

 

A wonderful bit of work and I'd love to read more, LL-361.


  • 0
~KH~

Posted Image

I'll take your part

When darkness comes

And pain is all around

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down


#5 Offline Legolover-361

Legolover-361
  • Members
  • Stellar Storyteller

  • 3,495 posts
  •  

Posted Jun 17 2013 - 09:19 PM

Thanks, Naina.I have not been to a hospital recently, thankfully, but I have visited relatives (including one of my grandfathers) in hospital beds shortly before they passed away, so you would be accurate in saying I'm familiar with the feeling.
  • 0




0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users