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oklan kyreth epic story

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#1 Offline Kopekemaster

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Posted Jul 04 2013 - 06:31 PM

All righty, here I will be posting a story that I've been working on for the past week or so. I will keep working on the saga (this is only one of the stories in the saga). It is named Oklan (working name).


As far as I know, it will be PG. If that changes later, I will notify you all.


Here is the review topic.



Chapter 1



Oklan opened his eyes, but shut them quickly when briny water splashed into them. No. The water didn't splash as much as it poured into them, as if it had been there first and was just filling a place that it should have been. He opened his eyes again. The salt water irritated his eyes and blurred his vision, but he was still able to see where he was.

He was floating, submerged, in the ocean. He looked up and saw the sun sparkling above, probably ten or so feet. He swam up, and, bursting through the water, took a deep breath. It was only after he did so that he noticed that he didn't actually feel like he neededa breath; he had just done it automatically.

He then looked down at his hands and noticed that they were quite wrinkled.

I must have been in the water for a while, he thought. He looked around at the horizon and noticed the outline of an island about half of a mile off. He swam towards it slowly, saving his energy. After about fifteen minutes he turned around and floated on his back for a while. Once the sun had gotten too warm for his pale skin, he turned back over and swam again. He repeated this three times before dragging himself onto the beach. It itself was made of a slightly pink sand, while further up were many large rocks. Beyond that he couldn't see. He lay on the sand for several minutes before stiffly getting to his feet.

As he walked on the sand, he realized that there were no footprints on the sand other than his. He walked towards the rocks, and, arriving there, started climbing up them. Oklan saw that up ahead was a rock that was quite a bit larger than the rest. He made his way to it and clambered up the side. Once he got to the top, he looked around at his surroundings.

The ocean from which he had come seemed endless, though he doubted it was. On the pink-tinted beach he saw his lone set of footprints leading towards the rocks where he now stood. He turned around and looked on the other side of the rocks. It was primarily dense jungle, though he could see some small clearings of the trees in a few sections. No smoke rose from the jungle. Further out, he could see a mountain.

The rock Oklan was standing on was hot from the sun and was burning his feet, so he carefully climbed down the way he had come. He clambered over the last few rocks before standing at the brink of the jungle. He parted a few bushes in his path while stepping into the lush forest.

After the initial blockade of bushes, vines, and trees, Oklan realized that the jungle wasn't as dense as it had looked from the rock. There was enough room that he was usually able to move without having to push past anything. He walked for over an hour and the sun had started to slowly sink, darkening the forest. He walked by what seemed to be an impenetrable wall of vines when he felt a pull in that direction. He turned to face it, not sure what was happening, all the while feeling that he should try pushing past the vines. He tried parting them and found that he could do it easily. He walked through the vines.

His vision blurred, then cleared all in the matter of a few seconds. He found himself in a surprisingly well-lit clearing. The light seemed to be centered on three small pools, not much more than dips in the ground. He walked over to them.

One was filled with an opaque brown liquid, though nothing like mud. It was smooth and evenly colored, almost beautiful.

When Oklan looked at the second, he thought it was empty. But then the light shifted and he realized that it was filled with the clearest liquid he had ever seen.

The third was filled with a bluish-tinted liquid that was, like the second, very clear.

Oklan was started when he heard a voice that seemed to come from everywhere.

"Kyreth Oklan, you must choose from the three elemental pools before you. The first is Earth. The second, Air. And the third is Water."

And then it was gone. Oklan was still trying to figure out where the voice had come from or who it belonged to when he noticed that light was pouring out from all three of the pools. He looked at them all again, more closely. Some small part of his mind called out for the water, so he went back over to it again. Small ripples went through the surface of the liquid when he got near it.

"What do I do now?" he wondered aloud.

The voice spoke again. "If you have decided, plunge your arm into the pool of your choosing."

Oklan did so.

A chill went through his entire body, followed by the feeling of something creeping up his arm. When he looked there, he saw that the water from the pool had started climbing up his arm.

In a moment he felt as though he was , but not as though he had become it. It seemed as though the water had become him.

A moment later, the feeling was mostly gone, though some small part of it stayed with him. When he looked into the pool, which hadn't gone down at all, there was no reflection of his face. He got up to look in the other pools, but found them empty. When he went over to the water pool again, it too was empty.

Again he felt a pull, again, it was towards the wall of vines. He walked over to them and parted the vines before looking back longingly at the pools were, but found them completely gone. The ground had smoothed out and the area wasn't well-lit anymore. He turned again to the wall of vines and walked through.

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#2 Offline Kopekemaster

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Posted Jul 05 2013 - 08:42 AM

Chapter 2


It was now by this time very dark in the jungle, so Oklan searched around for a place to sleep. Eventually he found a small cleared out area that was encircled by dense trees and bushes. The ground was soft from years of leaves accumulating on the dirt. He lay down and fell asleep almost instantly.




When Oklan awoke, he heard the voice again.

"Kyreth Oklan, your day of training has begun."

Oklan was on his feet in an instant.

"Walk north-east until you find a pool of water. I will then speak to you again."

Oklan determined what direction was north, then turned part way to the east and started walking. The ground, he found, sloped down slightly, and eventually led him to a small pool of water, about 12 feet in diameter. 

The voice spoke again, "Now, Oklan, focus on the water. Focus on controlling it. Bring out of the pool a small sphere of it."

Oklan focused on the water and saw a small ripple go through the surface. Using his mind, he pulled the water out of the pool and managed to shape it into a sphere. He brought it over to himself and drank out of it.

"Good. Now dive into the pool. It is deeper than it looks. Much deeper," the voice said.

Oklan decided to first ask the question that had been bugging him since yesterday.

"Who are you? And how can I do this?"

"For the first, all I will say is that I am Gen. For the second, you are a Kyreth."

"But what is a Kyreth?"

"You will find that out, later. For now, just do as I have told you."

Oklan stood closer to the pool and looked into it. It was, indeed, much deeper than he had thought, the bluish-green of the water fading to black further down. He slid into the water and found that opening his eyes didn't pain him at all. He also noticed that it wasn't actually as dark as it had looked from the surface; he could see quite well, even deep down.

A few minutes after he dove into the water, he realized that he hadn't gone up to the surface to take a breath. A wave of panic overtook him before he realized that he didn't actually feel that he needed to. 

Then a wave of shock when he realized that he was , under the water. He drew a deep intake of the water. He could feel the water filling his lungs, yet it didn't feel bad or like he needed to cough. He exhaled and the water went back out.

A tentacle wrapped around his leg. Terrified, Oklan tried to pull away, but whatever creature that the tentacle belonged to merely tightened its grip.

"Use your new-found powers," the voice said directly into Oklan's mind.

Oklan focused on compressing the water to strike at the tentacle. Eventually he broke through the slimy skin and the tentacle jerked away in pain. Oklan swam to the surface of the water, which had remained calm the entire time. He clambered out of the water, dripping.

He then focused on the water that was on him, pulling the individual droplets from his skin and hair. He was dry in a matter of moments.

When he turned around to walk away from the pool, he found a set of clothing laid out for him on the ground. He dressed and headed south-west, back to the clearing in which he had spent the prior night.

"Your training is not yet over, Oklan," the voice said.

Oklan stopped walking. "Do I need to go back to the pool?"

"No, in fact you need to not to the pool. This time, focus on water and actualize some of it to come into your hand."

Oklan did so, and soon had a small amount of it in his hand.

"Now, strike out with it like a whip and strike a leaf off of the tree beyond."

Oklan focused on shaping and lengthening the water into a whip-like strand, then, controlling it with his mind, struck out and took a leaf off of a tree. He then re-formed the water, flattening it, so that he caught the leaf. He controlled the current of the water so that the leaf came drifting towards him. He held it up triumphantly after bringing the water back into his hand and dumping it onto the ground.

"Very well done, Oklan. You can now do almost anything with your powers, and what you do not already know, you will learn in time. Is there anything more you would like to ask me?"

Oklan thought for a moment before answering, "No, I don't think so. Wait, yes, actually. Where could I get some food?" Oklan, not remembering when he ate last, realized that he was feeling pangs of hunger.


Oklan felt a gentle push of air under his chin, and looked up. There was a banana tree right above him, and next to it was a coconut tree. 

Oklan summoned some water and formed it into a pressurized blade, slicing off a few of the bananas. Out of the same source of water, he brought out a layer of water and caught the bananas much the same way as he had caught the leaf earlier.

Oklan pulled back both streams of water and focused hard on creating a hand out of pressurized water to grab a coconut from above. Eventually he guided it up and around a coconut. He pulled on the coconut with his mind and gently carried it down in the grasp of the water.

In less than a second, he released the water from his mind, rushed forward, and caught the falling coconut.

He peeled and ate the bananas quickly, but puzzled about how to crack open the coconut while still keeping the juice inside. Or how to crack it open at all, as he didn't see any rocks around. He then had an idea.

After holding the coconut up, he summoned some of the water onto his fingertips, pressurized it, and sliced the top off of the coconut.

He drank the juice from inside, then smacked the remaining shell against a tree, breaking it into more managable pieces from which he was able to eat the meat. 




Once he had finished eating, he continued walking towards where he had slept the prior night, leaving the peels and bark on the ground.

It was late afternoon when he was walking back, and close to evening when he arrived back at the alcove in the trees. He decided that the next day he would explore the island more, to see if anyone did after all live on the island, as well as collect some more food if he could find it.

Oklan lay down again, though he didn’t feel very tired. He lay staring up through a few small cracks inbetween leaves and branches to the sky and stars above. The moon was suprisingly high in the quickly darkening sky for how early it was. He planned that he would head north-west the next day. Weariness overcame him in a flood and he drifted to sleep filled with dreams of water.

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My Writing Blog (Updated frequently)

My Bionicle/LEGO Blog (Updated frequently)

BZPower Chronicles, my BZP comedy. ~~Finished!~~

Species, my dystopian Bionicle story and its respective Review Topic.

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