CaptainLepidus Posted July 20, 2013 Share Posted July 20, 2013 (edited) Main Topic Legacy of the Great Beings is a continuation from where the serials left off. I do not intend to address the main plot threads of The Powers That Be / The Yesterday Quest - there are just far too many unanswered questions and far too many ways Greg could have gone with those. Instead, my story will be dealing with how the old characters adapt to their new life on Spherus Magna. In particular, what evil will be up to now that Teridax is (presumably - it wouldn't be the first time he's escaped certain doom, after all) dead. Unlike my previous attempt at epic writing, I've outlined where I want the story to go and there are multiple plot lines that will converge in one place as the story plays out. I'd appreciate your comments to tell me what you like (implying you'd like any of my horrid writing), what you don't like, and in particular if there's anything that doesn't make sense within pre-established canon. Because make no mistake, this is not some Alternate Universe fic; I intend to make this as canon-conforming as the official serials were. This may or may not bring the BIONICLE universe to a close - I'm considering writing a sequel afterwards, but we'll have to see what the aftermath is from this before I can decide. Edited July 20, 2013 by CaptainLepidus Quote Legacy of the Great Beings - Continuing the story of BIONICLE from where the serials left off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krikanalo Posted July 20, 2013 Share Posted July 20, 2013 (edited) interesting start. you've got nice pacing, use descriptions well, and have all the characters in check. definitely following this to see where it goes. I do not intend to address the main plot threads of The Powers That Be / The Yesterday Questi'm a bit confused. so we won't be looking into the journeys of orde/chiara/zanni and kopaka/pohatu, then? they'll be addressed offscreen? doesn't look like you'll be following velika's story, at the least... He strode over to the wall purposefully and with one powerful swing shattered it. Outside stood a small brown Matoran.He yelled, and leaped away from them, curling into a ball around the box as it unleashed a wave of energy.seeing as how he stuffed the bomb into a box and directly blew it up in the fortress, effectively ignoring what happened in PtB. dang, little guy's fast. How could something be more powerful than Mata Nui himselfmissing a punctuation mark at the end of this sentence. Edited July 20, 2013 by krikanalo Quote "I may not be smart enough to try everything, but I'm dumb enough to try anything." tumblr | deviantART | fanfiction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainLepidus Posted July 20, 2013 Author Share Posted July 20, 2013 interesting start. you've got nice pacing, use descriptions well, and have all the characters in check. definitely following this to see where it goes. I do not intend to address the main plot threads of The Powers That Be / The Yesterday Questi'm a bit confused. so we won't be looking into the journeys of orde/chiara/zanni and kopaka/pohatu, then? they'll be addressed offscreen? doesn't look like you'll be following velika's story, at the least... He strode over to the wall purposefully and with one powerful swing shattered it. Outside stood a small brown Matoran.He yelled, and leaped away from them, curling into a ball around the box as it unleashed a wave of energy.seeing as how he stuffed the bomb into a box and directly blew it up in the fortress, effectively ignoring what happened in PtB. dang, little guy's fast. How could something be more powerful than Mata Nui himselfmissing a punctuation mark at the end of this sentence.Thanks for the review, I really appreciate it. What I meant is that I won't directly show what Onua's team and Kopaka/Pohatu are up to, at least not at the start, because A) I don't know enough about the Red Star and Kabrua to do so and B) I I really really dislike how Greg handled Onua's team (especially the gender roles, that was disgusting, but that's for another topic) so I don't want to have to write them. They may make an appearance later on but they won't be main characters for sure.Velika's story, on the other hand, is going to be central to this. He and TSO will be the main new villains now that Teridax is dead. We won't see from his perspective much (can you imagine making the Great Beings POV characters? that'd be a nightmare) but he'll definitely be causing all sorts of mayhem.I also intend to include many, many more characters than have already appeared; I'm writing this story in an attempt to give closure to the characters I've grown to love. I'll definitely fix that grammatical issue now. Thanks for the input, and I hope I won't disappoint you! Quote Legacy of the Great Beings - Continuing the story of BIONICLE from where the serials left off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krikanalo Posted July 20, 2013 Share Posted July 20, 2013 (edited) another great chapter. i'm interested to see why onua suddenly fell unconscious- perhaps all toa have been attacked by marendar? "You know, you couldn't be further from our Teridax. You any good with that stick of yours?"this line i especially liked, for some reason. i guess it was just funny to see how casual onua was being towards a guy whose alternate universe counterpart was once his archenemy. Edited July 20, 2013 by krikanalo Quote "I may not be smart enough to try everything, but I'm dumb enough to try anything." tumblr | deviantART | fanfiction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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