Jump to content

  • Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter Log In with Google      Sign In   
  • Create Account

Welcome to BZPower!

Hi there, while we hope you enjoy browsing through the site, there's a lot more you can do if you register. The process is easy and you can use your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account to make it even faster. Some perks of joining include:
  • Create your own topics, participate in existing discussions, and vote in polls
  • Show off your creations, stories, art, music, and movies and play member and staff-run games
  • Enter contests to win free LEGO sets and other prizes, and vote to decide the winners
  • Participate in raffles, including exclusive raffles for new members, and win free LEGO sets
  • Send private messages to other members
  • Organize with other members to attend or send your MOCs to LEGO fan events all over the world
  • Much, much more!
Enjoy your visit!

Posted Image


Click to ToggleParticipate in our raffle!

Hi, Guest. Come take a look and participate in our raffle:

Chima 2014 Big Raffle
Chima 2014 New Member Raffle
Chima 2014 Little Raffle

Photo

Staff Survivor II Game Topic

staff survivor II

  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
302 replies to this topic

#281 Offline Janus

Janus
  • Premier Member
    BioniLUG Member
  • Premier Retired Staff
  • Senior Grump

  • 3,301 posts
  •   Retired Staff

Posted Aug 20 2013 - 12:23 AM

Posted Image

 

I looked around at the chaos I had wrought.  What once had been an aggressive dance off had turned into some sort of new-fangled peaceful hippie rave party.  That just wouldn't do.  Clearly the only solution was to return the aggression--or kill someone.  (Hey, my son doesn't just get it from his mother)  I grabbed a sharp rock and started stabbing.  Because why not?

 

Posted Image


  • 0

NoNoNoNoNonNO

You misunderstood me

You didn't hear what I said

You're not listening LIKE MOST AMERICANS

-Arin Hanson


#282 Offline Makaru

Makaru
  • Premier Member
    BioniLUG Member
  • Premier Forum Leaders
  • Senior Not So Grump

  • 11,181 posts
  •   BZP Leader

Posted Aug 20 2013 - 12:31 AM

Posted Image

[color=#800080;]I must have mis-gestured because now Janus was stabbing at me frantically. I met the challenge with my trusty GAFNAXE that I suddenly had again because Tufi returned to us our stuff, why not.[/color]

 

[color=#800080;]We dueled like MEN. I thrust-parried while he parry-thrusted. It was a jolly tussle of sorts indeed! He leaned in for the classic "[/color][font="'times new roman', times, serif;"]have at you[/font][color=#800080;]", and I countered with a bit of the old "[/color][font="georgia, serif;"]what`s all this then?[/font][color=#800080;]"[/color]

 

[color=#800080;]I hooked his rock and reefed, sending it aside.[/color]

 

[color=#800080;]I had bested the ol' chap with a good triumphant look of "[/color][color=#008000;][font="'comic sans ms', cursive;"]What Now, Brother?[/color][/font][color=#800080;]"[/color]


Edited by Makaru, Aug 20 2013 - 12:36 AM.

  • 0

13432482545_b80a31ed8e_n.jpg

Can you lose to me in a rap battle? Shoryuken! ~K. Masters

 

 


#283 Offline Arpy

Arpy
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Forum Assistants
  • Pahrak-Kal Melted

  • 4,528 posts
  •   BZP Assistant

Posted Aug 20 2013 - 12:43 AM

Posted Image

[color=#cc6600;]Violently stabbing to violently dancing to violently stabbing again. It amazed you how rapidly your fellow survivors could veer from one extreme to another. You guessed that violence was the common theme.You did the only thing you could do to break the vicious cycle. Your voice got all gravelly."Mahna-mahna."[/color]

  • 0


tumblr_mqdlmepiG01rf11n3o1_500.png


#284 Offline Makaru

Makaru
  • Premier Member
    BioniLUG Member
  • Premier Forum Leaders
  • Senior Not So Grump

  • 11,181 posts
  •   BZP Leader

Posted Aug 20 2013 - 12:59 AM

Posted Image  

Posted Image

[color=#800080;][font="verdana, geneva, sans-serif;"]All at once, it was official. This game was all but won. Janus and I were once again Grumps in arms. He, of course, was grump. And I? I was not so grump.[/color][/font]

[color=#800080;][font="verdana, geneva, sans-serif;"]Together, we were[/color][/font]

[color=#000000;][font="mistral, geneva, sans-serif;"]Survivor Grumps.[/color][/font]

[font="verdana, geneva, sans-serif;"]Posted Image[/font]

[font="verdana, geneva, sans-serif;"](grumping intensifies)[/font]


Edited by Makaru, Aug 22 2013 - 11:56 AM.

  • 0

13432482545_b80a31ed8e_n.jpg

Can you lose to me in a rap battle? Shoryuken! ~K. Masters

 

 


#285 Offline Emzee

Emzee
  • Premier Member
    BioniLUG Member
  • Premier Forum Assistants
  • BZPRPG Guru & Senior Staff

  • 6,653 posts
  •   BZP Assistant

Posted Aug 22 2013 - 01:10 PM

Posted Image

I immediately ceased my mating ritual once Janus and Mak caught my attention. It looked like they were dueling one another. 

 

"Same team! Same team!" I barked at them. I needed no one getting hurt, even if it was just a sparring match. If someone was gonna get stabbed, I preferred that it was someone who wouldn't settle for that.

 

Because those who refuse to settle for that are, in essence, the losers. 

 

Aren't I supposed to be doing something, or lots of things, right now?


Edited by Emzee, Aug 22 2013 - 01:11 PM.

  • 0

FCG Devlog Entry #7Project Update

Just a heads up: cyanproductions.net will be going offline on April 17th

plb_banner_teaser.jpg
BZPRPG: News | General Discussion | My Profiles

Sesseta Wokapu | Ra'lhen | Wokodin | Wokiya


#286 Offline Hahli Husky

Hahli Husky
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Global Moderators
  • Senior Goose

  • 5,135 posts
  •   BZP Staff

Posted Aug 22 2013 - 05:37 PM

Posted Image   

It took the Grumps re-bonding for me to realize.I was a lone goose now. Posted Image Sumiki becoming a Settler was somewhat unsettling, as well. DeeVee was a Supertramp now, though. Which should have made things better. Could he be the Barry that hung out with me while the Grumps were in their Grump Room? I mean, having someone with the same Myers-Briggs type as me meant that I was guaranteed a like-minded team mate now. Given my own track record so far, I wasn't sure if this was a good thing.  Also, he was decidedly not surprised that he'd had to switch teams.   He seemed pretty darn happy about the whole thing, actually.  Just dancing innocently with the others over there.  Posted Image


Edited by Hahli Husky, Aug 22 2013 - 05:47 PM.

  • 0

#287 Offline Arpy

Arpy
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Forum Assistants
  • Pahrak-Kal Melted

  • 4,528 posts
  •   BZP Assistant

Posted Aug 22 2013 - 11:49 PM

Posted Image

[color=#cc6600;]"DOO DOO DOO-DOO-DOO" you finally hooted. Those darn grumps.The formatting of this Survivor match had suddenly shifted, you noticed keenly. The dance party and stabbing had both died down, and now you were pretty much standing around on the beach waiting for the next challenge like the lazy bums that you were.You did really want to go commit some third-degree shenanigans (and check up on Ludo), but you also really wanted to stick around and see what vital information could be gleaned from being in such close, non-stabby contact with the other team. You had heard murmurings about a distillery, for instance.Your mind wandered as you stared up at the sky, and pretty soon you were curled up into a little ball and rocking back and forth over the fact that your lyrical twists and turns of phrase would never be as clear or sharp or punchy as Neko Case's. So you were easily distracted. Who wasn't?You decided to play some tetherball on account of your fro.Posted Image[/color]


  • 0


tumblr_mqdlmepiG01rf11n3o1_500.png


#288 Offline DeeVee

DeeVee
  • Premier Member
    BioniLUG Member
  • Premier Blog Leaders
  • Senior Master Photographer

  • 5,206 posts
  •   BZP Staff

Posted Aug 23 2013 - 12:40 AM

I looked over at HH and nodded imperceptibly. She knew what it meant.

 

We wandered off to the side and had a conversation about things.

 

About plans.

 

Because now we were on the same team. And now we could make this work.


  • 0

spidermiles.jpg


#289 Offline Tufi Piyufi

Tufi Piyufi
  • Forum Administrators
  • Forgetful Monarch

  • 10,391 posts
  •   BZP Staff

Posted Aug 23 2013 - 09:52 PM

A horn blared, and Ophelia walked up with the instrument in her hand and Tufi on her back. She blew the horn again for good measure, ensuring the attention of every last person. Tufi looked around and sighed."Remember those fancy camps you built? The ones you're supposed to be living in? Instead of the constant beach parties? Well, you're going to have to break up the little party, because you're going hunting."The tribe that brings back the most amazing Rahi by Saturday wins Immunity for the week. Search all over the island if you have to. Then bring it back here, and bring it back alive."Now go!"
  • 0
Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!

#290 Offline Emzee

Emzee
  • Premier Member
    BioniLUG Member
  • Premier Forum Assistants
  • BZPRPG Guru & Senior Staff

  • 6,653 posts
  •   BZP Assistant

Posted Aug 23 2013 - 09:59 PM

Posted Image

The words "Rahi" and "Voya Nui" immediately triggered an interesting memory, and I immediately turned to Mak, Janus, Sumiki, and Kakaru.

 

"We should bring Jen back a Kardas dragon," I said as we headed back towards the jungle, "You think it's still around here somewhere?"


  • 0

FCG Devlog Entry #7Project Update

Just a heads up: cyanproductions.net will be going offline on April 17th

plb_banner_teaser.jpg
BZPRPG: News | General Discussion | My Profiles

Sesseta Wokapu | Ra'lhen | Wokodin | Wokiya


#291 Offline Arpy

Arpy
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Forum Assistants
  • Pahrak-Kal Melted

  • 4,528 posts
  •   BZP Assistant

Posted Aug 23 2013 - 10:19 PM

Posted Image

[color=#cc6600;]Amazing Rahi? On your island? It was more likely than you thought. You wriggled back and forth gleefully, even though you weren't playing bingo.Posted ImageYour fair-weather friend of a Blocking Lava Ape was pretty amazing, after all, and he was readily accessible. Back in your camp. You hoped. Even so, you felt compelled to kick it up a notch, to get something truly amazing..."Hey," you said to your fellow Supertramps, "think we can teach Ludo to [color=#cc6600;]play the Imperial March on the bagpipes while riding a unicycle[/color]?"[/color]


  • 0


tumblr_mqdlmepiG01rf11n3o1_500.png


#292 Offline Kakaru

Kakaru
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Reporters
  • Senior Fish

  • 1,724 posts
  •   BZP Reporter

Posted Oct 30 2013 - 08:25 PM

Posted Image

[color=#336699;]I blinked once or twice, feeling as though I had been banned, ejected, then dredged back to the island through an obscure and deadly ritual that probably involved a fish sandwich. I was certain that our glorious empress was probably keeping track of who was and wasn't in the game through her knowledge of temporal time and space. No doubt there was an alternate dimension where most of us were still alive, but right now I knew that only a handful of us were still in the game, the rest displaced and slaughtered by either the last of us or the unknowable forces of the universe.I looked towards our game master, who was staring back at the rest of us with a puzzled, slightly unnerved frown. What happened from here all hinged on her decision to either resurrect the corpses and merge our timelines or to just run with the ragtag group of survivors we had left.Swaggering over to our bar, which was totally not burnt to the ground, I poured myself a shot of grass clippings and downed it with a hardboiled grimace. No matter what the outcome was, the game had most certainly changed."Dangit Ronpaul," I muttered under my breath.[/color]

Edited by Kakaru, Oct 30 2013 - 08:26 PM.

  • 0

tf302.jpg


#293 Offline Hahli Husky

Hahli Husky
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Global Moderators
  • Senior Goose

  • 5,135 posts
  •   BZP Staff

Posted Jan 02 2014 - 05:43 PM

Uh oh guys here comes some serious OOC up in here.

 

Kakaru already posted, but it would be a dying crying shame if we lost some of the QUALITY CONTENT that was deleted after the rollback. So I'm posting it all here. I've been dinking around with screenshot add-ons that refuse to work on cached webpages, so Janus and I will just be posting it ourselves. You can tell who's who thanks to the banners.

 

 

survivorbfahome.png

 

Having been the two to encounter Ludo initially, Arpy and I were the ones who took the lead in retrieving him from the camp.

 

(That had been one heck of a dance party.  It felt like it had lasted almost a week.)

 

Fortunately, he was there, rearranging the leaves around our camp into a much more eye-pleaseing pattern.

 

"LUDO HELP FRIENDS MAKE CAMP NICE," he said, "INCREASE PROPERTY VALUE."

 

What a kind gesture.  Amazingly kind, even.

 

"LUDO COME WITH FRIENDS TO BEACH?" Arpy asked, pointing back towards the meeting point.

 

While they were conversing, I took the opportunity to grab my bow from where I'd spiked it into the ground before.  When I turned back around, Ludo was doing a handstand.  I gave Arpy a quizzical look, to which he replied with a shrug.  He didn't seem to know where this was going either.

 

"Ludo?" I called, approaching them, "You seem to know a bit about design."

 

He snorted affirmatively.

 

"Do you think you could come with us and make something to show the others?"

 

"YES, LUDO MAKE ART FOR FRIENDS AND OTHERS."

 

Well, I guess that was that.

 

The three of us trudged, skipped, and lumbered our way back to the rendezvous point.  I'll leave you to decide who did the trudging, who did the skipping, and who did the lumbering.

 

(hint: all three were Ludo)

 

 

 

survivorarpy.png

 

"SO LUDO," you said conversationally, "ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE UP TO THIS?" You asked because you weren't sure if he was up to it. Arranging leaves, while admirable, weren't on the level of playing bagpipes on a unicycle, but you were short on time and nobody on your team even knew how to bagpipe.

"LUDO MAKE GOOD ART," he said.

Hey, that was the title of a speech by Neil Gaiman!

Your confidence renewed itself just in time for you to stride confidently onto the beach, savant Rahi in tow.

He didn't have any artwork to show, but you didn't let that faze you. Maybe he'd do some spoken word stuff. He spoke so well for a giant ape. Or maybe he'd create the art right there on the--

Your feet left the ground as Ludo plucked you up into the air with one huge hand. With the other hand, he excavated a hole in the beach, then lowered you into it and tucked you in. Sandily.

Ludo grinned proudly. "INSTALLATION PIECE."

 

tumblr_ms2i70LxOp1rf11n3o1_500_zpsc0f7aa

 

 

[Empress Tufi has no banner because she's better than all of you]

 

Even if he hadn't been the only Rahi to wind up on the beach, Ludo was a compelling artist. The way he used minions to achieve his vision deeply moved Tufi. The results were obvious.

"Congratulations, Clikit Supertramps. I think the other guys left the idol somewhere over there." Tufi waved her hand in the general direction of the idol.

As the winners went off to seize their goods, Ophelia caught Ludo's attention.

"Yo," she said, tossing the Lava Ape her hunting horn. "Have fun."
 

 

 

 

survivorarpy.png

 

"LUDO HAT," Ludo said.

 

tumblr_ms2oudH9fG1rf11n3o1_400_zpsd2a827

 

 

[Again, Jen > You]

 

It had been easy to find the tribe of stragglers in the jungle. There was the stomping of the underbrush, and the tiny yelps of fright at monstrous-looking drapes of moss, and the distinct sound of Not A Kardas Dragon. Noisy in a way, but still not bringing the decibels. It'd be a shame to interrupt that quiet.

I'd Settle For That passed through a darker spot of forest, one the sun couldn't really reach. There was a sound that could have been a teensy rodent Rahi or a muffled shriek, but it went without notice. They'd just have to figure out later why Sumiki was gone.
 

 

 

 

survivorsumiki_zps78e1de51.png

 

So long, friends, for I am gone.

 

tumblr_mrywagQWNb1rf11n3o8_250_zps95914a

 

 

 

survivoremzee.png

 

Welp, that was a fail.

 

Apparently we didn't move fast enough, and no one had thought to kidnap Ludo. Now, we had lost a rival-turned-friend. Who would ask us about farm animals now??

 

"Well, if you guys need me", I turned to our remaining members, Kakaru, Janus, and Makaru, "I will be re-donning my Walker Texas Ranger persona and going after xccj's killer. Speaking of which"

 

I eyed each of my tribesmen for a moment, trying to read them. I had realized that I never did ask my own people, though to be fair, who would murder their own teammate?

 

"Can you fellas think of any possibilities as for who might have committed Staff Survivor II's first murder?"

 
 

 

survivorkakaru1_zpsd1ba2689.png

 

I gasped and pointed at the spot where Sumiki had been standing. Clearly his sudden appearance and disappearance had something to do with the murder that I was pretty sure everyone had gotten over by now I mean wow it was at least two hours ago why are we still even discussing it

As everyone turned to look, I quickly tossed my bloody knife/blade combo into the bushes.

With the matter settled, I went back to the steaks I had been cooking. Unfortunately I was distracted by the lava ape on the other team for too long (is there anything not inherently fascinating about that magnificent creature?) and xccj's remains the mysterious steaks bestowed upon our team by the benevolent and ambiguous overlords of the universe had been turned to charcoal. The faint, inexplicable smell of burnt hair lingered in the air.

Disappointed, I called the rest of our team back from the loss of a teammate, the challenge, our trumpet/immunity thing, and our food. I began to gather together a salad made of perfectly normal and probably edible plants.

Tonight, we would feast in a decidedly vegan manner, drink to the memory of a teammate, and probably dream of farm animals.
 

 

 

[Empress Jen]

 

Attention, Survivors:

Make your way to the giant volcano for tomorrow's showdown.
 

 

 

[Pat's a nerd who didn't use his banner so I'm putting it in for him anyway]

survivordeev.png

Hahli Husky and I heard the Empresses voice and nodded. It was almost time to put our plan into motion. We had spent a long time hiding in the background laying it out. Things were moving along just perfectly.

We walked towards the volcano.
 

 

 

 

survivorarpy.png

 

Ludo made his way into the underbrush with his fancy new hat, and you made your way south with comical visions of Ussal crabs dancing in your head. The words 'volcano' and 'showdown' sounded ominous. So did 'attention', come to think of it (but not for too long).

Bfahome was gazing at his shoes, and more specifically at the shiny metal eyelets on them. There was no sign that he'd heard Tufi's directive, so you slung him over your shoulder in a way that still permitted him eye contact with the shoes. He was surprisingly light, which you supposed was what came of focusing on shiny things that weren't food. You just needed to get him some of those hideous chromed edible sugar beads and he'd be better.

You hoped there weren't any starships hiding underwater just waiting to interfere with your primitive island society. Although who would put a starship underwater. Honestly.

 

 

[Seriously Pat you better appreciate the things I do for you]

 

survivordeev.png

 

I looked at Arpy. For some reason, I had a random urge as our eyes locked. So I went with it.

 

"Starships are made to fly."

 

 

 

survivormakaru_zpsa4970a3c.png

 

 

So it was not down to Kakaru, Makaru, Jakaru and Emkaru. Getting pretty tense.

 

The Empress made yet another command. We were to make our way to the volcano. But I felt renewed spirit. This was the ultimate team. Had I had my choice, I do not think I could have put together a finer team.

 

I suddenly swelled with pride.

 

CANADIAN PRIDE.

 

I turned quickly to Janus.

 

I had a look of bewilderment.

 

It had me.

 

The seal broken.

 

No turning back.

 

"DOOT DOO DOO DOO DOOT DOO DOO DOO DOO"

 

All but Janus was confused. A look of fear? But soon, he too was taken.

 

safety_zpsd2ddd0e6.png

 

"S....."

 

"A....."

 

"F....."

 

"E....."

 

"T....."

 

"Y....."

 

"SAFETY"

 

"DANCE"

 

 

And then we danced all the way to the volcano.

 


Edited by Hahli Husky, Jan 02 2014 - 09:39 PM.

  • 0

#294 Offline Janus

Janus
  • Premier Member
    BioniLUG Member
  • Premier Retired Staff
  • Senior Grump

  • 3,301 posts
  •   Retired Staff

Posted Jan 02 2014 - 05:45 PM

 

survivorarpy.png

 

You put your hands up and touched the sky.

And then you danced all the way to the volcano.

 

 

 

survivoremzee.png

 

After our meal, Tufi's voice was heard by all once again. It looks like the murder mystery would have to wait... even though I think we've all settled on it being Kakaru, and I was okay with that. As we headed up towards the volcano, I saw Makaru and Jakaru break into song and dance. It wasn't long before the dancing got to me too. Little did the two Canadians probably know, but I was also familiar with this song. And as much as I wish I could, I could not resist the safety dance.

 

It was just so... safe.

 

 

 

[Empress Jen]

 

Somehow, despite the events of the past couple of months, the tribes still approached their next challenge on Mount Valmai with song. It wasn't totally inappropriate, and you could never go wrong with Canadian tunes. As everyone gathered at the base of the volcano, Tufi waited for the dancing to finish before speaking, because interrupting it just wouldn't be safe.

"First off, folks," she said after what seemed like freaking forever, "your old tribes are dead and gone. You're now all part of one tribe, and that means you'll be competing directly against each other. No foul play, please. No more than we've already had.

"Second, that means this is an individual immunity challenge. Only one of you is going to get it, and all the rest are fair game for voting. This week, you're not only playing for immunity, you're playing for the right to name your new tribe.

"This week's challenge? Give me your best Piraka rap by Saturday. You've got the setting and you've clearly been warming up. Time to put it to good use."
 

 

 

 

survivoremzee.png

 

The Piraka Rap. A song that hurts my soul, until I remember it's just a creation, spear-headed by a European toy company. They meant no harm by it. How are they supposed to know who people like J Cole, Tupac, and Jay-Z are? (Okay maybe not Jay-Z he's been around awhile and he's still around) Remembering this makes me appreciate the so-bad-it's-good lyrical work for what it was supposed to be -- nothing serious.

 

Still... you expect me to write that? Sure, I work on a lego fansite and collaborate with other role-players to help design a massive forum-based role playing game for people to pretend like they're a variation of the toys that we all loved do much... but even have limits. 

 

I'm never one to walk away from a challenge. When the time eventually came to present my piece of writing, I came forward with this rap:

 

Piraka en masse. Strong on the outside.

 

Clowns on the loose. Fake on the inside.

 

Multicolored coup that's looking like my Fruit Loops

 

Who would love these sets? They're part of terrible groups!

 

Though I guess they're better than the Inika toys.

 

But right... this ain't about Inika -- it's about these Piraka boys!

 

They potential in the story, but they think too small


What makes them think that they deserve it all?


Mask of Life? Nektann army while controlling people's minds?


No sir! Thanks for playing man. Y'all need to check your frame of minds.


I imagine this'd be better if we could just record ourselves

 

Since rap with no flow is just poetry on the shelves

 

But in the end, I must thank everyone for this opportunity

 

I'll be sure to rap to this over Safety Dance samples -- FOR UNITY!

 

 

 

survivorarpy.png

A Piraka rap? Rap was most definitely not your jam. Your jam was strawberry, but you didn't want to be thrown into the volcano, so you gamely scraped together some words and stood up in front of the other Survivors after rehearsing to yourself a few times.

You hit them with your best shot and fired away, just like Pat Benatar only with less rhythm, less musical accompaniment, and fewer total eclipses of the heart.

"I call it Pirakapella," you said when you were done. Then you fainted from having done the entire thing in one breath.

 

 

 

survivorhusky.png

 

I had never ever even attempted anything close to rapping in my life.
 
But I still had really strong feelings about the Piraka.
 
Not to mention the original rap still burned in my brain from the countless times I had to listen to it against my will.
 
I shuddered, then used my nervous twitching to propel me into a beat.
 
"Oh, no ... piranha?
Ugh, no, 
Piraka

Oh god they're on the loose?
LEGO, what'd you do
This rap just improves
The reason I'm through

Bigger, basic, and ugh those teeth, too
And this ache that shakes my brain to goo

Oh, no, Piraka
Still singin this "groove"
Nothin I can do
I tried, but I
Can't make the TV mute

Ugh no, Piraka
Voya Nui has a street?
It's "Takanuva", not "Taka"
I suspect this is abuse

What even is "school-lacka"??
That's not my home, dude?
What is this thing
There's nothing I can do
This ad is on the loose!

God, no, Piraka

Why a rap seemed so neat
I don't even have a clue
This schlock, makin me weak
"That's a lot to ... eat"??
 
The Trigger, the Tracer, the Drifter,
The Snake, the Beast, the Bully,
What are these names

Piraka!

Yo, no Piraka
Piraka, go Piraka

Piraka, go Piraka

Go as in leave, Piraka

Piraka, why Piraka

Hey, yo, no, Piraka

Okay shut up now Piraka

I can't take anymore, Piraka

God, Piraka

Bye, Piraka

I'm done now, Piraka

Ugh, god, no, Piraka.
"
 
 
Great. Now the original rap would no doubt torment my mind for days.
 
I covered my ears to block out the rapping of everyone else, humming The Safety Dance again to comfort myself.

cat-covers-ears_zps6e6a6af9.jpg

 

 

 

survivordeev.png

 

The "Best Piraka Rap"? I sat to think to myself. Who even was the best Piraka? I mean, that was clearly what the challenge was, after all.

 

Of course, as an avid fan of the storyline, I knew immediately who the best Piraka was. After all, there was no choice in the matter!

Today was a good day, or maybe a good night?

Who knows what time it is, in the absence of all light?

But me, I don't care, I'm feeling more than alright!

I came from the Beast, but Vezon is twice bright.

 

Vezon has no time for Toa, for what is a Toa?

Just an ugly Skakdi, so send me s'mo-uh!

Sometimes I see double, or did I say double?

Forget it, for Vezon is double and will double your trouble.

 

Forget what you've heard, Vezon don't suffer Piraka

They're spines are so weak- you should call them Brutaka

I took the treasure, it's mine, wait now maybe I'm its?

Whatever I don't care, I'm crazy- the mask fits.

 

I'm half of the Beast, but twice his mind.

I stay on this spider and it stays on my grind.

Cursed though they say, and maybe that's true.

But Vezon laughs at those ill-fated dudes

 

I've got a spider and you don't.

I've got a life and after this, you won't.

And though I may act like a fool,

It's really so you won't recognize me-

 

For I'm Deadpool.

 

 

 

survivorarpy.png

 

You regained consciousness to see Bfahome just standing there, shoegazing.

You slapped him on the back to shock him out of his trance, and he choked on his own spit with a noise that sounded like 'Thok' and then doubled over coughing, which you thought sounded kind of like beatboxing.

That would have to do.

 

 


 

 

survivorkakaru1_zpsd1ba2689.png

 

I recalled that I had a bit of a phobia towards poetry, but if it meant being able to name my own team "The Schizo Tuna Cultists" I would do my best.

I hacked up the phlegm from the back of my throat and began my best imitation of a dial up modem.

 

4335711f62cb7b0aabb91cb405e996c7_zps9f49

 

What up yo the name's Kakaru
my bff is currently Makaru
and also Janus 'cause he's my dad
and also Deevs 'cause he's real rad

We're all stuck on Voya-Nui
we haven't eaten in a week which is pretty screwy
I tried to eat something which was not a corpse
you know this song's about storyline now, ya dorks

Bohrok are matoran? Greg, give me a break
Velika is a god? Go jump in a lake
you know we're rewriting history from here on out
now I'mma drop the bass and tell you what it's about

See, I'd be rappin bout Piraka but they're not here
we're not playin in their canon cause we rule this year
Brutaka's also gone I think they're all retconned
but it's nothing worse than every other storyline bomb

Hey, Tufi's in charge now, our story is tight
first we murder all day then we dance all night
Toa don't kill? Okay, so nobody's dead
but we're not Toa and we still bleed red

Piraka were neat, yo, don't get me wrong
but if not for them I wouldn't be doing this song
if we were Piraka I'd call dibs on Thok
cause he just sat on a couch during the animations and that's what I'd be doing right now if I weren't standing around this volcano making poetry and beatboxing like nobody's business actually I think that couch would be really neat hey Tufi what if I made a couch out of corpses is that against the rules

wait I mean uh

 

 

tumblr_mseqt7v7PZ1sz4xibo2_500_zps51fa73

 

 

 

 

survivormakaru_zpsa4970a3c.png

 
The empress wants the best rap, eh? What better rap than a rap battle.
 
I looked over at Janus.
 
"EPIC RAP BATTLES OF VOYA NUIIIIIIIIII!!"
 
"ZAKTAN VS VEZON"
 
BEGIN

 

 

 

survivorjanus.png

 

I knew I was in an epic rap battle, but I didn't even know where I was (a volcano apparently) or even who I was rapping against. I glanced around at my fellow--fellows (i guess that's what we're called now?) before finding my eyes resting on Makaru--who had apparently grafted a skull of some sort to his head. Okay, so he was Vezon. Got it.

I got in touch with my inner snake (who happened to be made of protodites, or whatever those little things were called.) and began busting out some SICK RHYMES YO.
 
"Yo move over, loser. You think you're pretty clever.
If I let you go first, man, you'll probably talk forever.
I ain't never seen anyone chew a scene like you do,
The only reason you were ever one of us is because you got split in two
You clearly got the mouth, Yeah you think you're so great
You found the Ignika, got two minds and still can't think straight!

Yo, we asked your next of kin, said you belong in a museum
I said why stop there, we'll make this your mausoleum!
Your only trait is that you're crazy, look like you were crafted from spare pieces
And nobody wanted to buy your stupid special edition releases
So you're Greg's favourite character But you got nobody fooled
You should have been a rewrite, you should have been dead-pooled
"

 

willsmithrunningmanandrappingfamilyguy_z

 

 

 

survivormakaru_zpsa4970a3c.png

 
"Breaking the fourth wall already? Hmm, what a swell thought
Stop stealing from me, Snake, sit down, you look so overwrought
You're the leader of the pack, you're so powerful and command respect
So how come you got beat by a bunch of All Karzahni rejects?
You keep dissing people way more powerful than you.
Got turned into bugs then got turned into eel stew
 
 
And your pack of miscreants? The Gang on the loose?
They got sacked by nightlight-faced Toa and now they're ready for the noose.
The Bully? The Drifter? The Trigger? You pathetic protodite.
You're less like a scary clan and more like a bunch of dwarves lookin' for Snow White
You're the worst minions of Makuta since the Rahi, it's canonical.
No one even wants you here, not even Bring Back Bionicle."
 
tumblr_mopzhzbdra1squcpjo1_250_zps4bd679

 


Edited by Hahli Husky, Jan 02 2014 - 06:09 PM.

  • 0

NoNoNoNoNonNO

You misunderstood me

You didn't hear what I said

You're not listening LIKE MOST AMERICANS

-Arin Hanson


#295 Offline Hahli Husky

Hahli Husky
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Global Moderators
  • Senior Goose

  • 5,135 posts
  •   BZP Staff

Posted Jan 02 2014 - 06:22 PM

 

[Empress Jen]

 

Eventually, the indescribable experience of sight and sound died down. Sick rhymes had been dropped, and enough burns had been tossed around to qualify some people as fire elementals. Not that any of the players would be allowed powers, of course. That'd be a silly idea.

But there's always a best dish at the buffet, and somebody has to win this competition. After a few minutes of thought, Tufi opened up a bag.

"Congratulations, Kakaru, you're the winner of the first individual immunity challenge." Tufi pulled out a necklace with a little wooden Tohu head on it and put it on Kakaru. "Try not to name the tribe anything too obscene."
 

 

 

 

survivorkakaru1_zpsd1ba2689.png

 

I hadn't actually expected to win. I clutched the immunity necklace and stared around at the rest of the group for several awkward seconds. Janus and Makaru were frozen practically in mid-rhyme, clearly prepared to keep dishing out mad phresh beatz. BFA was either unconscious or catatonic with shock.

So it came down to me to rename our team. Several options sprung to mind immediately, like the classic "Schizo Kaita Cultists," "Tuna Casserole," and "Stormageddon's Army of Darkness." I fumbled over my words as I tried to pick the best one.

"The neat... humans?"
 

 

 

 

[Empress Jen]

 

"... The Neat Humans it is." Tufi shrugged. "It's your tribe."

As everyone stood around awkwardly trying to figure out a reaction to that, Ophelia came by. She scanned the crowd of Neat Humans, but gave up and did a little shrugging of her own. "Where'd you guys put Bfa?"

"We left him leaning on that tree," Arpy said, pointing to a tree that only looked like it had two trunks. Ophelia scooped up Bfahome, and Tufi went to leave with her.

"So, uh, Humans... You might want to make a camp or something? I guess?" Tufi turned around and left the Neat Humans to their own neat devices.
 

 

 

 

survivorhusky_zps8c940ce0.png

 

I patted my little Kakaru on the head. "Neat job, son. Momma's so proud." I looked closer at his hair, then inspected his red-stained hands. "I thought I taught you how to remove bodily fluids better than this. Have you been bathing at all since we left BZ Koro??"
 
"MooOOOOooOOOOoooOoooooOM!" He waved me off. "I've been brushing my teeth this whole time!"
 
"You know you're not supposed to brush your teeth before you've taken a bath." I glared up at Janus. "How about you?"
 
Janus held up his hands in defense. "We uh ... we built a distillery?"
 
In that case, I figured I'd let it go. For the time being. It was probably best to decide whether to make a new camp, or be lazy and use one of the old ones.

 

 

 

neathumanbanner_zps79e20292.png

 

The Neat Humans? How neat was that? That was pretty neat. So were distilleries.

"I think a distillery with Lincoln Logs would be pretty neat," you said. "Let's combine the best parts of our old camps!"

You took a deep breath and gazed at the volcano's treeline in gratitude that your rap hadn't been vote-him-off-the-island levels of awful, and your gaze singled out an especially neat tree. It was an aspen tree. You could tell it was an aspen because of the way it was.

 

 

 

survivordeev.png

 

We all went straight to our pub. Together we lived and reminisced as friends do, especially friends drinking cider and beer legally and responsibly who know that in just a little while we would be competitors once more. 

 

 

 

survivorjanus.png

 

Another lost member and even a new tribe name. And what a stunning piece of originality it was!

I was so thankful that Kakaru had taken leadership--after all it could have been so much worse. Anything to stop her from getting more power. On the note of brutal vicious dictatorship and mysterious deaths, I figured I may as well raise an issue with my boy.

"Kakaru." I began "I think it's time to talk about the mysterious murders and ritualistic sacrifice" I was sweating, I knew that this was every parents worst nightmare--I mean the knives and blood talk? Nobody wants to talk about that
"Oh I already know all about that!" Kakaru responded brightly.
"You....do?" I murmured, I knew the internet was a dangerous place, what sort of strange ideas had my boy gotten into his head?
"Yep!" he grinned and showed me what I hoped were red paint stained hands. Then I remembered the mysterious death that had just recently occurred.

Suddenly I had not one, but two murderers to worry about.

"Welp" I said to myself, then without another word I followed DeeVee to drink myself into (yet another) coma.
 

 

 

 

makvivor_zpsb905644c.png

 

I bellied up to the bar. Arpy happened to be getting something from the counter at the time.

 

"Innkeeper. Three fingers of your best Fanglyfuss Ciser."

 

Arpy looked at me befuddled.

 

"Um, Mak? we didn't make any---"

 

"Behind the green bottle."

 

"How did you---"

 

"Never you mind!" Arpy looked hurt. I softly continued, "Brewmaster's secret. Sorry, guy. Three fingers of Ciser, please. And make it neat."

 

Arpy chuckled, "Hahaha, Nice one, Mak."

 

I arched an eyebrow, "I ain't being clever. Ice ruins the flavour."

 

Arpy shook his head and slid the glass to me. I sipped my drink. Great vintage, that 2013.

 

I turned and saw HH, Kakaru and Janus reunite. It was quite a touching sight to see. Mother, Father and son. All together at last.

 

It will be a shame when I have kill them all.

 

 

 

neathumanbanner_zps79e20292.png

 

You weren't at all surprised to find yourself behind the bar in Camp Neatness. In the same way that some people were natural born administrators or runners, you were a natural born bartender, as you had discovered when you showed up early to a friend's wedding reception and ended up pouring drinks for the rest of the night without anyone really asking you to.

Remembering your lessons from that reception, you wasted no time in scratching the word 'TIPS' into a cup and placing it in a prime strategic location on the Lincoln Log bar. This time, there wouldn't be another bartender to split the bounty with.

"Yadadadadadadada," you muttered as you poured yourself a litre* of explosive fruit cider, "and really bad eggs."

* Voya-Nui was naturally on the metric system, being an honorary Canadian dominion and all. At least, you assumed as much from the Maple Leaf hanging on a pole over the camp gate. Just below it were a pair of underpants with the British Columbian flag on them.

 

 

 

survivorkakaru2_zps645137c7.png

 

I slunk up to the counter and casually ordered three jägerbombs. I hoped nobody would notice that I was technically underage by the American system but actually fine in practically every other country including Canada, which Voya Nui's laws were clearly based on.

Arpy handed me the three glasses. The shots looked like they were brewed out of grass clippings and dunked in orange juice, but I wasn't about to complain. I put one of the glasses in the tip cup out of appreciation, noticed that the glass was bigger than the tip cup, put the tip cup inside the glass instead, noticed that didn't fit either, then casually knocked both of them to the floor, screaming: "TODAY, WE ARE CANCELLING THE APOCALYPSE!" I felt like an 
otter fumbling a particularly difficult trick.
 

 

 

 

survivoremzee.png

 

I sat by self along the wall of the lincoln log bar, sipping on the strongest drink served at that bar (that i knew of). I didn't even know the name of this drink. I just asked for "the strongest drink you can make".

I would need it, for this calm before the storm. 

Up until now, there was healthy competition, but at least there was still some notion of companionship within our teams. Now, we were all one tribe, but there were no real alliances. It was every survivor for themselves, and I was no exception. 

We were all one tribe, but only one could win.

After i finished my drink. I slunk away from the bar, into the jungle in the distance. Makaru had his axe, Kakaru had his rituals, DeeVee had his Joker Immunity, and I would need something for myself.

I would need a weapon

 

 

 

[lol Jen]

 

Hey, Survivors.

Sober up and get your butts back to the volcano.
 

 


  • 0

#296 Offline Janus

Janus
  • Premier Member
    BioniLUG Member
  • Premier Retired Staff
  • Senior Grump

  • 3,301 posts
  •   Retired Staff

Posted Jan 02 2014 - 06:23 PM

 

neathumanbanner_zps79e20292.png

 

tumblr_msozdnuQ7T1rf11n3o1_250_zpsf2a1bf

 

Sobering up you had no problem with. Drinking on the job was bad form, and besides, it wasn't like the cider had had time to ferment significantly. You hoped your sobriety would give you an edge. To be precise, the edge of the volcano. As in, not falling into it. Because you were on the edge. Yes.

Getting back to the volcano wasn't as fun as it had been the first time, though. It was hard to tear yourself away from the atmosphere of relaxed hedonism that permeated the camp. You'd already done dancing, stabbing, drinking...what more was there in life? Besides crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentation of their women, of course. Maybe that was what this challenge was about.

 

 

 

[Fyi this is my favourite RP post so far]

 

makvivor_zpsb905644c.png

 

I made my way to the volcano.

 

Haha. "Sober up", the empress says. I know for a fact she wasn't talking to me. You see, we have inversely proportional FERMENTATION COEFFICIENTS. I can drink an entire barrel of the worst Schizo Ale and be none the worse.

 

I've only ever seen her drink once. Had a shot, she did.

 

 

Wound up leveling half of BZ-Koro. Said the statue of Hapori Tohu "looked at her funny"

 

 

Caused 1,250,000 widgets in damages. 15 people hospitalized and three entire Vahki squads completely written off. Punched Black Six square in his metallic jaw.

 

 

Hah. Good times. I'll have to buy her a round once this is all over.

 

 

 

survivoremzee.png

 

"Oh right, challenges", I said softly to myself as I heard Tufi's call and the sounds of shuffling feet. My search would have to continue later. 

I carefully made my way back down the volcano, avoiding the rest of the survivors to prevent any chance of backstabbing.
 

 

 

 

survivordeev.png

 

On our way to the volcano, HH and I agreed we should set our plan into motion. As we started to leave camp, with Kakaru and Janus in tow, we took a detour to the cliff Kakaru had so kindly pointed out before. Standing behind them, we motioned for them to look over and tell us what they saw.

"Looks like antidermis still, I already pointed this out, why am I looking again?" Kakaru pondered.

 

HH and I looked at each other, and then proceeded to push both Janus and Kakaru in, before jumping in ourselves.

 

The experience was... odd, to say the least. Unbeknownst to all out fellow survivors, the alehouse's secondary function was to allow us just enough lack of sobriety to feel the painful experience a little less strongly.

When we escaped from the pool, the antidermis no longer glowed. Clearly we had together soaked up the entirety of this magical essence. We looked at each other, and though we had not turned to gas, the enlarged and toned muscles clearly proved a point. The powers rushing through our bodies also helped. We had escaped the Maktua groupmind through alcohol, and had instead absorbed only the powers, and not the species' group conscious like Brutaka had. This was good.

 

HH and I high-fived, it was a little strong as we didn't know our own strengths (and I think she used some gravity powers too).

 

Janus and Kakaru looked shocked but pleased as well.

"Welcome to The Plan".

 

We went to the volcano. Whatever happened next, whatever challenges happened, we were forever powerful Makuta.

 

 

 

survivorhusky_zps8c940ce0.png

 

Being a Makuta felt super weird. I'd somehow imagined we'd end up turning into these plastic mutants, and was relieved that my fears were debunked. It sure would suck to be made entirely of plastic. Having really defined muscles was weird, too. Janus was always such a cute little reed, and now I wasn't sure how to feel about him looking like he ate well. I mean, he usually ate enough for the both of us, but still.
 
We were almost at the meeting spot when we stepped right into Makaru's path.
 
Nobody bothered to make a poker face. Especially not Makaru.

 

what_zps94375b4b.gif?t=1388705507

 

 

 

[Empress Jen]

 

Tufi watched the transformations with some concern. That the players were resorting to drinking questionable fluids was bad enough, but mutating themselves? There was no way that could end well. It was time to save these people from themselves.

She sighed and got to work. Claiming Voya Nui as part of BZP was a great move; it made using all the important abilities that much easier. Each staff (and no-longer-staff) member had been given powers that were appropriate to that individual. The Makuta set was never up for consideration. Legend and lore was one thing. A lengthy list of powers that were definitely real was just so... fanficcy.

There. Everything back to the way it should be. Maybe Tufi had sapped just a little more power than was strictly necessary, but it wasn't a big deal. She'd put it back later. If she remembered.

"Survivors! Hurry up, already!" Tufi shouted. The Neat Humans got to the game area, some more shocked than others. No big deal. Tufi took the immunity necklace back from Kakaru, who looked like he had too much to process in far too little time.

"This week, we're going for some direct competition. You've each got three clay discs to your name. One at a time, you're going to break somebody's disc. If you lose your discs, you're out of the game. The last person still in the game wins immunity for the week.

"You can go in any order you wish. However, at least half of the remaining players must play or one hour and one other turn must pass before you can go again, whichever comes first. You can only break one disc per turn. And I'd stick to the rules, if I were you.

"First turn goes to whoever gets it first. Now play!"
 

 

 

 

survivordeev.png

 

I broke one of Makaru's discs. Mostly on accident. 

 

 

neathumanbanner_zps79e20292.png

 

Superpowers. Ha. The only powers you needed were those afforded you by your fun and springy fro.

To make a point, you headbutted one of Emzee's disks. It broke, but your fro cushioned your head nicely.

Hahli Husky: |||
Deevee: |||
Makaru: ||
Kakaru: |||
Janus: |||
Emzee: ||
Arpy: |||
 

 

 

 

survivorkakaru1_zpsd1ba2689.png

 

Makaru and Emzee were already down by one each. I reached over to break one of Arpy's discs to even the score. He saw my cutthroat tactic coming a mile away and quickly switched one of his discs with mine. I looked down at what I had done in horror and vowed to break one of his for sure next time.

Hahli Husky: 3
Deevee: 3
Makaru: 2
Kakaru: 2
Janus: 3
Emzee: 2
Arpy: 3
 

 

 

 

survivorjanus.png

 

I watched as Arpy switched discs with Kakaru and helpfully offered to hold his own disc--before accidentally dropping it and somehow setting it on fire(?) Oops! Well, all's fair in love and war or something.

Whatever, disc was broken, I guess. Grrrr and etc.

Hahli Husky: 3
Deevee: 3
Makaru: 2
Kakaru: 2
Janus: 3
Emzee: 2
Arpy: 2
 

 

 

 

survivordeev.png

Well darn, I stepped on one of Makaru's. Bummer. :(

 

 

 

neathumanbanner_zps79e20292.png

 

Ugh, that lighter fluid up your sleeves was your least reliable illusion. You stared sadly at your broken disk for a moment before looking at Makaru, who was staring sadly at his only intact one.

"Hey now," you said, "that just ain't right!"

You slipped behind Deevee and grabbed one of his disks, which you hurled into the air and tried to shoot with a gun. This was made difficult by your lack of a gun, but the disk fell into the volcano and melted so it all worked out in the end.

Hahli Husky: 3
Deevee: 2
Makaru: 1
Kakaru: 2
Janus: 3
Emzee: 2
Arpy: 2
 

 


Edited by Hahli Husky, Jan 02 2014 - 06:36 PM.

  • 0

NoNoNoNoNonNO

You misunderstood me

You didn't hear what I said

You're not listening LIKE MOST AMERICANS

-Arin Hanson


#297 Offline Hahli Husky

Hahli Husky
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Global Moderators
  • Senior Goose

  • 5,135 posts
  •   BZP Staff

Posted Jan 02 2014 - 06:47 PM

 

survivordeev.png

 

It was unfortunate to lose a disc, but that's how life goes. Arpy knew this well, as another one of his broke. Probably because you broke it. Lame.
 
Hahli Husky: 3
Deevee: 2
Makaru: 1
Kakaru: 2
Janus: 3
Emzee: 2
Arpy: 1
 

 

 

 

survivorhusky_zps8c940ce0.png

 

You grabbed a disc from the nearest Canadian and snapped it in two.

 

The Canadian was Rob.

 

 

Whatever

 

 

 Hahli Husky: 3

Deevee: 2
Makaru: 1
Kakaru: 2
Janus: 2
Emzee: 2
Arpy: 1

 

 

 

 

survivordeev.png

 

Well, you had waited and watched, and felt like HH was onto something. So you turned and grabbed the nearest Canadian disc and broke it. Unfortunately, you found out that, since Canadians are so friendly, Janus had offered to hold Arpy's disc, since it was so heavy. Unfortunately, that meant it was actually Arpy's disc that broke. You were kind of upset about it, since that was his last one. Poor Arpy. You loved him. He was beautiful.

 

Hahli Husky: 3
Deevee: 2
Makaru: 1
Kakaru: 2
Janus: 2
Emzee: 2
Arpy: 0 :(

 

 

 

neathumanbanner_zps79e20292.png

 

A single perfect tear welled up in your single perfect eye (the other eye did have some slight visual weakness). You weren't sure whether being first was worth celebrating when it meant being the first person to lose all your disks. Whatever, at least you didn't have to lug clay pigeons around. Didn't they have machines for that?

You left everyone to their disk-slinging and started poking around the volcano's slopes to see if you could find any pumice. You wondered if it would float like it was supposed to, or if it would sink like ice.

It was then that you found a jagged triangle of obsidian. Also a sealed vinyl copy of The White Album by the Beatles.

 

 

 

survivoremzee.png

 

There were still too many players in the game. Time to slim this down. I roundhouse kicked Makaru's final disk. Less threats to worry about. Sorry fellow Septemberite.

Hahli Husky: 3
Deevee: 2
Makaru: 0
Kakaru: 2
Janus: 2
Emzee: 2
Arpy: 0
 

 

 

 

survivordeev.png

 

I went to high-five HH, because she is pretty awesome. Unfortunately, in order for her to put her hand up, she had to let go of a disc. It fell. Shattering. It reminded the lingering Makuta effects of the Shattering. Which they knew about for some reason? Whatever.

 

Hahli Husky: 2
Deevee: 2
Kakaru: 2
Janus: 2
Emzee: 2

Makaru: 0
Arpy: 0

 

 

 

[Empress Jen]

 

"Hey. Guys." Tufi held up a hammer made out of the old wooden Tohu head and a sturdy branch. "Let's turn up the heat a bit."

Five whacks later, the remaining players were down to one disc each.

"Much better."

Hahli Husky: 1
Deevee: 1
Kakaru: 1
Janus: 1
Emzee: 1
Makaru: 0
Arpy: 0
 

 

 

 

survivorhusky_zps8c940ce0.png

 

Though I had known my lucky streak wouldn't last, I still put on a terrific pouty face.

 

tumblr_ltupzmPhxF1qktqch_zps74a9757b.gif

 

I went over to hug Janus for comfort, but tripped over Kakaru and we fell on the ground and his last disc broke.

 

I was going to have to seriously spoil him when we got back home.

 

 

Hahli Husky: 1
Deevee: 1
Kakaru: 0
Janus: 1
Emzee: 1
Makaru: 0
Arpy: 0

 

 

 

survivorjanus.png

 

OH MAN this was getting intense. I saw that Emzee was starting to look a little tense, so I went over to give him a big ol' Canadian hug (y'know, to make him feel better) but unfortunately tripped and answered the age old question. What was stronger, stone or Canadian skull.

It was Canadian skull.



Hahli Husky: 1
Deevee: 1
Kakaru: 0
Janus: 1
Emzee: 0
Makaru: 0
Arpy: 0
 

 

 

 

survivorhusky_zps8c940ce0.png

 

I made it over to Janus. I broke his remaining disc.

 

 

All according to plan

 

 

Hahli Husky: 1

Deevee: 1
Kakaru: 0
Janus: 0
Emzee: 0
Makaru: 0
Arpy: 0

 

 

 

survivordeev.png

 

I looked at HH and nodded. I picked up her disc and broke it. It was over. All the makuta derailments, all the alcohol, all the antidermis trials. All culminating in an event later, but also in this.

 

Like Connor MacLeod, of the clan MacLeod, in this challenge, there could be only one.

 

Hahli Husky: 0
Deevee: 1
Kakaru: 0
Janus: 0
Emzee: 0
Makaru: 0
Arpy: 0

 

 

[Empress Jen]

 

Before Tufi could give in to the temptation of breaking all the discs, the competition was over. "Well, DeeVee, looks like you've got yourself some new jewelry for the week." She tossed him the necklace, hoping he'd be able to catch it.

Tufi took another look and HH and DV. Perhaps reformatting was in order, just to be certain... 

 

... But maybe later. There were other matters to attend to.

"Well, Kakaru, word is you're done with the game..." Tufi explained, as Ophelia appeared out of nowhere (most likely a few trees) and hauled the reporter over her shoulder. A quick goodbye would make it easier this week. Tufi didn't really want to use the hammer on any dramatic teammates just yet.

Or a physical one, at least. As she and her little party left the sight of the remaining Humans, Tufi quietly undid the suspensions that kept the situation from blowing up worse than Valmai. Oh, they could be upset, sure. Just not when she had to deal with it.
 

 

 


  • 0

#298 Offline Janus

Janus
  • Premier Member
    BioniLUG Member
  • Premier Retired Staff
  • Senior Grump

  • 3,301 posts
  •   Retired Staff

Posted Jan 02 2014 - 06:48 PM

 

makvivor_zpsb905644c.png

 

And with that, Kakaru was gone. I could not help but feel somewhat responsible, and I was now nervous. If someone as amazing as Kakaru were to be booted, then what hope did I have?

 

I made my way back to the camp. Being tall and going downhill, I managed to beat all of my compatriots by a whopping seven seconds. Shout-out to power walking.

 

I made my way to the bar to fix myself a little something to ease the shock over the last vote.

 

 

But aghast!

 

15214389_3h3rw_zpsb26564d6.jpeg

 

The bar was empty! I was left mildly concerned!

 

 

 

neathumanbanner_zps79e20292.png

 

"LUDO MEAN DRUNK," Ludo said. "LUDO SMASH PUNY HUMANS."

 

 

 

survivoremzee_zps4a6a3416.png

 

After I watched Kakaru be hauled away. I calmly strolled away into the jungle, away from the other survivors. Things were becoming more dire, and I wondered who from our Neat tribe would be sacrificed next. Indeed, the time would come for all of us -- whether we would remain alive to see it or not. This game would not last forever, and before it ended, I would have to make my mark. 

 

The time had come to play my hand. I just had to find it first.

 

I knew where this surprise would be if it truly existed in this world, and I immediately began my search.

 

----------------------

 

Leaves and twigs crunched under my feet as I ventured through the jungle once more. This time, however, I was staying the course towards the center of the island, where Mt. Valmai rested. There was really no basis for my wishful assumption, but I felt that there could hardly be any harm in at least looking. After all, if Antidermis exists here, who is to assume that we won't find something even cooler than a laundry list of powers?

 

Like a Fenrakk... or a certain dragon.

 

After a several minutes of venturing through the jungle, I abruptly stopped at the sound of some rustling. With no weapon to wield, I balled my fists. I was still the Texas Ranger after all.

 

To my relief, no Rahi revealed itself. Just a pack of Nektann. But were these particular machines reprogrammed, or were they yet undomesticated?

 

I suppose there was one way to find out. I walked towards the Nektann three. 

 

 

 

neathumanbanner_zps79e20292.png

 

"LUDO NOT SMASH!" you said frantically. In retrospect, leaving the bar's contents out in the open had probably not been the best idea. "LUDO TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY AND NOT ALLOW LABELS TO DICTATE ACTIONS!"

"LUDO NOT GET BIG WORDS," Ludo said. "LUDO ANGRY!"

"OKAY," you said. "CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS? WHAT MAKES YOU ANGRY?"

"FRIENDS ALWAYS LEAVING FOR BEACH OR VOLCANO. LUDO WONDER IF REALLY FRIENDS."

"SURE WE ARE," you said, although he probably had a point. You were being nibbled at by vague feelings of guilt over using friendship as a card to get him to guard your old fort and scare off Settlers. It was like he wasn't even a person, just some NPC placed on that island for your amusement. Still, you didn't think his current state was the best to be broaching the topic of friendship versus exploitation.

"We're all friends, right everybody? Right?" You looked back to see everybody blatantly undermining your words. Faced with the prospect of a drunken Blocking Lava Ape, they were edging away or already gone--if they had even been there in the first place. What was that about fools rushing and angels treading? Oh well, that would have required your teammates to be angels or fools or both, which they weren't. You turned tail, despite your lack of one, and ran, like you hadn't already done enough running on this island. You were just lucky your boots were so durable.

 

tumblr_inline_mt1ozhqSOV1qz4rgp_zps75fda

 

 

 

survivorhusky_zps8c940ce0.png

 

I'd mourned for the loss of Kakaru for a while, but being temporarily handicapped by Tufi had given me time to realize that the little pus was probably going to just mess up the Netflix recommendations and clear out the refrigerator once he got home. Provided there was even anything edible left at this point. It's not like I had decided to toss everything in the freezer before a seemingly innocent night on the town with friends.

 

 

But yeah as soon as it was apparent there was a drunk wild animal in the equation, I had booked it along with an assortment of frenzied others.

 

tumblr_mqssp9Tzhi1r8m2o5o1_500_zps565f1c

 

(I have been waiting to use this gif since the teams were merged)

 

 

 

survivoremzee_zps4a6a3416.png

 

While my friends were evading the wrath of a drunken angry Lava Ape, my confrontation with the three Nektann remained slow but very tense. If my knowledge was correct, before me was a scout Nektann, a combat Nektann, and a debuff Nektann. The latter one was definitely a threat, and I wiped beads of sweat off my forehead that rested behind my blue Huna. The scout and combat Nektann could maybe be managed, but if I let them take too much of my attention, the debuff Nektann could literally starve me to death. 

 

Just then, the combat Nektann squatted and then lunged towards me. Expecting the combat Nektann to be... well... combative, I was all too prepared and I deftly high-jumped over the charging machine, sending it tumbling into the foliage behind me, and also jerking my body to the side, dodging the debuff beam that I noticed the other Nektann preparing. Once I landed on the ground, I wasted no time reaching behind me and grabbing one of the combat Nektann's legs. After turning it upside down, a forceful stop on it's underside was enough to shut it down temporarily. 

 

I was in my comfort zone now. Taking on adversaries and showing them who's boss. I could get used to this, but I knew that this calming activity would have to be fleeting. Audiences want hijinks that I sometimes don't get because they're references to far off things -- not wish fulfillment. 

 

I suppose I could fight these Nektann with no pants. That'd take me out of my comfort zone. 

 

 

 

survivordeev.png

 

I watched from a distance as Arpy dealt with the lava ape. It was kind of humorous. I drank from the secret Brewmaster's collection I kept hidden. It was a good thing Ludo hadn't gotten to this! 

 

 

 

[Empress Jen]

 

Attention Survivors:

Prepare yourselves for a very big day tomorrow!

That is all.
 

 

 

 

neathumanbanner_zps79e20292.png

 

As you made a hard right to dive behind a log, you were grateful that Ludo and straight lines were not on the best of terms at the moment. He crashed off into the undergrowth as Tufi's call boomed over the island.

You chose to prepare yourself by finding solitude, whipping up a simple phonograph with some leaves, some twigs, and a pants zipper, and listening to the pristine copy of the White Album that you'd found on the volcano slopes. If you were going to go out, you were going to do it with a harmless musical deus ex machina bonhomie thing. Not necessarily with style.

 

 

 

survivoremzee_zps4a6a3416.png

 

Ha ha! Looks like I was already ahead of the game. What better way to prepare for a big day than through gratuitous violence?

 

*TWACK*

 

I felt myself reeling backwards as a consequence of my mental aside. The right side of my face burned and it looked up at the offending scout Nektann with contempt. I had apparently been smacked clear across the face. My glance then quickly shifted to the ever-dangerous Debuff Nektann. I knew that I couldn't keep engaging these mechanical adversaries forever, and I found myself moving further towards Mount Valmai. 

 

Perhaps I could actually tempt fate... into working in my favor?

 

Pweeeeease?

 

 

 

[Empress Jen]

 

 

"Attention," boomed the voice, guaranteeing everybody was paying attention now, "It's time for the very big announcement!"

"This week we'll have double voting, meaning two of you will leave the game! Also, there's no immunity either, so have fun!"


The countdown for when DeeVee would notice the immunity necklace was gone began.
 

 

 

 

survivorhusky_zps8c940ce0.png

 

The Final Four.

 

 

I was already crafting more reliable weapons for myself and waiting for the results.

 

 

Things were going to get intense near the end.

 

 

I mean that's only normal.

 

 

Also I didn't really want to force Tufi to double-post again.

 


Edited by Hahli Husky, Jan 02 2014 - 07:00 PM.

  • 0

NoNoNoNoNonNO

You misunderstood me

You didn't hear what I said

You're not listening LIKE MOST AMERICANS

-Arin Hanson


#299 Offline Hahli Husky

Hahli Husky
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Global Moderators
  • Senior Goose

  • 5,135 posts
  •   BZP Staff

Posted Jan 02 2014 - 09:11 PM

 

[Empress Jen]

 

Ophelia was starting to get into this 'stealthy extraction' thing. No drama, no tears, and you got to feel really cool. And removing two Survivors at once? What a feat.

As she silently (okay, maybe a very quiet 'whoop') swung DeeVee and Arpy over he shoulders, Ophelia got this feeling that non-responsive targets might be making things too easy. Then she got a hundred metres from camp with her quarry, thought about how much trouble struggling would be, and was totally okay with everything.
 

 

 

 

neathumanbanner_zps79e20292.png

"LUDO LONELY," Ludo said.

 

tumblr_inline_mt80b3el201rpytwq_zpsf4692

 

 

 

makvivor_zpsb905644c.png

 

Once again, I eluded capture by staying completely still. The great Prophet on High, Sir Alan Grant had led the way to salvation. This, now, left four victims. HH, Jans and Emzz. I scrawled the last few names into my GAFNAXE (did you forget about that thing? It's still here!). Perfect comic sans on each.

 

 

I eyed the great Ludo. Magnificent beast. We had never been real friendly in this short stint on the island. But that would change. I retrieved a flask I had stashed away just before the last challenge, before the bar closed down permanently. Someone was planning on using this to bribe Ludo. I suspected that he would no longer have use for such a trick, being gone from the island.

 

I would have to, ah, take his place.

 

"Ludo, old buddy," I said cautiously, "I got something for you."

 

I got the stink eye at first. But then he saw the flask. I think he knew what it was. He seemed more... approachable.

 

"What say we talk things over a banana daiquiri?"

 

 

 

survivorjanus.png

 

I awoke to find that we were back at the camp and there were only four of us left. I quickly scanned the faces of those around me and found that it was me (wait, how did I look at my own face? Weird), Hahli Husky (oh good, my wife is still here. Also still a murderer. Yay), Emzee--though he had disappeared to somewhere to do a thing, and Makaru--who seemed to be flirting with a drunken blocking ape.

Unfortunately I found out that my son Kakaru was gone (along with DeeVee). Clearly the trauma of this is what had knocked me into my catatonic state, I rationalized. I mean it wasn't like I had gone catatonic like eighty times before, right? (The answer is no, I did. I am very bad at staying conscious and aware of the world around me)

Anyhow, now that I had once again found my ability to function, I determined two objectives:
1. Cuddle and/or live in terror of my wife.
2. Go be Makaru's wingman. I mean, he's not very good with the ladies. Blocking Lava Apes

 

 

 

makvivor_zpsb905644c.png

 

The great ape was much more amiable than I expected. And he took to his new name quite quickly. All was going according to plan. I saw Janus shuffle my way, HH in tow. They were clearly jealous of my friendship with this beautiful creature.

 

"So, uh, how's it going, Mak. What's with Ludo?" asked Jan.

 

"Not too bad. And apparently Ludo was his slave name? Hey buddy, what's your name?"

 

"Mycaruba." the ape grinned like a doof.

 

"Mike Aruba?" asked HH.

 

"My car, Roomba?" asked Janus.

 

"My Caruba!" Emzee yelled somewhere off in the distance, to the tune of My Sharona.

 

This was going well. 

 

 

 

survivoremzee_zps4a6a3416.png

 

Fate had been tempted.

 

I had just downed the scout Nektann, leaving only the debuff robotic trooper. After a craggy rock revealed itself to me, I deftly rolled to my right and grabbed it. As I picked it up, I was surprised that my hands weren't shredded from grabbing the rock -- I didn't realize they had gotten so rough. With one forceful throw, the debuff nektann was struck, losing its balance and falling over. I wasted no time finishing it off with a forceful punch to the underside, shutting its systems down. 

 

I had won. 

 

I wiped dirt and grit off of my scratched blue Huna and turned around, intending to go back up Mt Valmai again and capture some Fenrakk.

 

Then, an idea hit me.

 

I evilly looked behind me at the three shut down nektann, and I fondly remembered the feats of TMD and xccj, mostly the rise of Junkbot. 

 

No training would be required, just programming, and the nektann would be completely under my control. How didn't I think of this sooner?!

 

I rushed back to the felled debuff nektann and closely examined it. Indeed, there was a panel here. After wrenching it open, I smiled as I looked upon the keypad that TMD spoke of long ago. Reprogramming would be effortless. My major was in Software Engineering and I work as an Application Developer at a major railroad. 

 

Which means I automatically know how to fix and reprogram anything even remotely technological! It's a superpower

 

The first thing I did press the shut down button so that this energy-draining robot wouldn't wake up, following suit with the combat and scout nektann. 

 

Now I just had to get these three spherical machines out of the jungle and to a place where I could better concentrate. 

 

--------

 

"Mycaruba." I heard an ape say as I rolled these nektann to safety.

 

"Mike Aruba?" asked HH.

 

"My car, Roomba?" asked Janus.

 

"My Caruba!" I yelled out. C'mon folks, use your ears.

 

I then decided that maybe I should change my direction and get these projects away from the others. When they find out about these nektann, I want them to meet the whole gang. 

 

 

 

makaruba_zps6614d202.png

 

So with little to do, we sat and guessed at what was to come. Surely the Empress would get bored of watching us buzz about while we waited for the next inevitable vote to rescue evict remove us from Voya Nui. Despite half of us being murderers and the other half just potentially murderers, there was absolutely no drama or nuthin!

 

"So what do you think she's got in store for us?" I asked.

 

HH sighed, "I sure hope it has to do with kittens, lasers and ice cream.", she paused, "yeah, definitely ice cream."

 

Janus, now visibly numb/warm to HH's ways, added, "I hope it's good ol' fashioned fisticuffs. Let's face, it, I'd Psyrate you guys to the ground."

 

Pictured: Psyrate

 

Emzee was off busy doing probably nothing of note or interest, but if he were here, he'd probably be all like

 

emzee_zps0238be76.jpg

Credit: RZKit

 

"Mycaruba?" asked Mycaruba.

 

"Me too, buddy. Me too."

 

 

 

survivoremzee_zps4a6a3416.png

 

The first question that had come into my head after saying "My Caruba" was, "why didn't I hear the contributing voices of Arpy and DeeVee?"

 

Had the unthinkable happened? I knew voting had been done, and I was still here, along with HH, Janus, and Makaru. Two contestants had to go...

 

This left me in a very difficult predicament. It was me, the sole American versus... three Canadians. Everyone's favorite people, myself included. Has a Canadian even been voted off yet?

 

.... 

 

I hurried to a patch of open field, rolling the three sleeping nektann to the best of my ability (and very often losing one of them and having to go find it). Eventually, I had arrived at my destination and I got to work. I looks like I won't have time to catch more nektann after all. I was in danger, what with a gafnxe wielder, a martial arts master, and a Stabber of TMD -- all unchecked now that it was just me. I needed to do something in order to protect myself.

 

----------

 

I must have spent at least half the day looking through the code in this scout nektann. The software wasn't written in any language that I knew, but it was simple, and I could learn it fairly well (again, given half a day). Once I knew what I was doing, it took me no more than a couple hours to get all three of the nektann I had caught all nice and reprogrammed.

 

"HappyBot, FunBot, SmileBot, activate!" I said, hoping the naming subroutine worked as expected.

 

It did. HappyBot the scout nektann, FunBot the combat nektann, and SmileBot the debuff nektann shuddered to life and began congregating around me, waiting for orders.

 

"Follow me, friends," I said, beginning my walk back to the camp. I was quite happy with my win-win situation. These nektann would make great helpers and new friends for our shrinking circle, but they'll also defend me if the other contestants try anything... rash.

 

----------

 

"Sup y'all!" I said to Janus, Makaru, HH, and Mycaruba upon my arrival. "Sorry for my absence. I thought we could use some more friends around here, so meet HappyBot, FunBot, and SmileBot!"

 

 

 

survivorhusky_zps8c940ce0.png

 

As a small group of waiting Canadians, we were biding our time rather quietly. Makaru was conversing simply with Mycaruba, who was much calmer (and possibly recovering from a massive headache.) As if to further prove his point, Janus had started to practice his "psyrating" skills. I was using a palm-sized rock and a couple strong bones to pry apart the hairdryer the Supertramps had received a couple months ago. No matter how useless a lot of the junk seemed to be, I had still managed to keep most of it.

 

"Hey, guys!" I waved in welcome as Emzee returned with some nektann buddies. Janus let out a ki hup as he practiced some self defense, then stopped for a moment to admire the three impressive bots. Mycaruba jumped up and curiously inspected the nektann, who tolerated the ape up until he tried to crawl underneath them. Apprehensively, they shifted over towards Emzee.

 

I smiled at our new friends' interactions. After a bit of distracted struggle, I pried the hairdryer's plug open, and continued picking out pieces, carefully pocketing anything that looked useful. Janus scurried over and hugged my neck from behind.

 

"Hi." He studied what I was doing. "Wow, hairdryers are complex."

 

"Yeah. I don't even know if any of this is useful, but hey." I leaned my head against his. "Are you bored?"

 

"I wondered if you wanted to practice with me?" he asked, smiling hopefully. "I would ask the others but I'm afraid of them freaking out when I go to punch them."

 

I patted his face. "I guessssssss."

 

 

 

survivoremzee_zps4a6a3416.png

 

Hmm, well would you look at that. No tension here at all! 

 

...

 

Realizing this development, I immediately took great refuge in my decision to NOT use the other nametag I made... 

 

survivoremzee2_zpsa22da872.png

 

Yeeeeaaah... that would've been bad.

 

 

The three nektann were scurrying around the camp, examining the scenery and generally just wandering around. I walked over to Makaru and Mycaruba. 

 

"Can you believe it? Us four, making it this far!" I said to my deep-voiced friend. "Who would've guessed, right? I, personally, was betting on Spink actually getting past this point and winning it all. He had an interesting take on things that could have really helped his chances with the audience. If not him then Kakaru. Who could dislike that guy?"

 

 

 

[Empress Jen]

 

A canister fell out of the sky, landing harmlessly in the middle of camp. It was more like a thermos than anything else; you couldn't cram a Toa in there, but you could insert a piece of paper with the following message:

"Alright, folks, time to get serious. We're nearing the end of the game, and there's some matters that need attending to.

This week, you'll each come up with a plan for breaking into the secret chamber in the very heart of the volcano. It can involve up to two other people, but think generally; I wouldn't count on using your tribemates. I'd put some careful consideration into these plans. No reason.

You've got tomorrow to work on these. Good luck!"
 

 

 

 

[Empress Jen]

 

A second canister:

"Make that Saturday the 28th. You're going to want to walk into this with solid plans. Trust me. Take the extra week to prepare.

Oh, and no voting this week. You're welcome."
 

 


  • 0

#300 Offline Janus

Janus
  • Premier Member
    BioniLUG Member
  • Premier Retired Staff
  • Senior Grump

  • 3,301 posts
  •   Retired Staff

Posted Jan 02 2014 - 09:12 PM

 

makaruba_zps6614d202.png

 

Team Makaruba was not going to waste this sudden, unexplained fit of kindness from Tufi. I took a few hours to scope out the terrain, jot down some coordinates and come up with some semblance of a plan. Once I had all the details, I spent valuable minutes putting every careful detail into place. Not one circumstance was left to chance.

 

Much later, after getting back to Club Teetotaler, I found Mycaruba punching a tree or whatever he was doing to get this terrible party started.

 

"Here's how we're going to do it....." I started.

 

 

 

survivorjanus.png

 

SO it seemed like it was time to do a thing.  A thing involving volcanoes, secrets, likely danger, highly likely murder--and knowing this group at least one person stumbling around drunkenly (my money was on the ape.  Someone needs to cut that thing off)

 

But anyhow I guess it was time to start planning.  I wasn't sure if I could trust any of my respective 'team' least of all my beautiful and evil wife, but hey--when life gives you lemons you start acting like a paranoid fugitive desperately trying to save his life.  Also you probably throw lemons at people--unfortunately there were no lemons here.

 

We walked back to the campsite in mostly silence, only the vague menacing threats of Hahli Husky and (somewhat shockingly) some paranoid rambling by Emzee (someone understands me!)

 

Once there everyone promptly abandoned each other.  Makaru joined Mycaruba, Emzee backed into a corner and his Nektann followed him like lost children (or puppies) and Hahli Husky began stalking me.

 

At least we had a solid navigator.

 

 

 

makaruba_zps6614d202.png

 

I made sure none of the others were eavesdropping before I relayed the plan to my friend.

 

"First, we need to make our way south, to The Cavern of Historical Records, where we will find three skeletons, each holding a golden book. We will need to pull the correct golden book to open a secret door to the Pit of the Pendulum. We will swing across the moat, using your superior strength to crash through to the other side into Axonn's Storeroom. Inside will be three pots. We smash the pots to find the keys, and place them in the correct pedestals, and find the passage to the Chamber of the Sacred Markers. We will have to arrange the symbols on the left of the room to match the symbols on the right and gain access to The Room of the Ancient Toa. You need to get into the correct set of armor and pull the matching levers whereupon we will unlock The Shrine of the Silver Brakas. In here, there will be a statue that will need to be correctly assembled to gain access to The Room of the Secret Password. I wager we will have to shout aloud from the right tome. We will then use Brutaka's Secret Passage to escape the Quicksand Bogand enter the Dark Forest. Here, we shall find ourselves entering the fabled Vezon's Court. Apparently, we have to "mimic Vezon" and pull the secret lever, and that will grant us access to The Lava Gateway, traversing obstacles and dangers. And then we shall seek Tufi's Prize.

 

Any questions?"

 

Mycaruba looked over the map I had drawn carefully in the dirt. There was a long silence. I feared it was too much for his primitive mind to capture.

 

Then, when I begun to lose hope, he looked at me and whispered.

 

Mycaruba

 

We would leave at nightfall to avoid being followed.

 

 

 

survivorhusky_zps8c940ce0.png

 

Janus stiffened a little as I hugged his arm. I was excited about us actually getting to work together for some end. His face was somewhat pale as he looked down at me.

 

I pursed my lips. "Are you okay."

 

He blinked. "Uh. Yes! Yes, fantastic." Color had returned to his cheeks and he smiled, but his eyes still held that crazed look that I often associated with anytime the property taxes were due, or when we were out of eggs. As a vegetarian, what had he been eating on the island, anyway? Just fruit this whole time? But he went on, regardless. "So on the basis of practically nothing, let's make a plan."

 

As he speculated what we could likely expect, I found that, as usual, my ears were tuning out the nearby sounds and honing in on the sounds coming from further away. Makaru sat on the far side of the campground, but his voice was clear to me. I listened as he explained, in detail, about the ritual sacrifice of children his plan. I heard him scratching in the dirt, and then he and Mycaruba moved back to the middle of the camp.

 

"What do you think? Any ideas?" Janus inquired, patting my arm to bring me back.

 

I stood up theatrically. "Yes. I know exactly what we're going to do."

 

He sighed in what seemed to be relief. "You're amazing, baby. So what do we do?"

 

"We're going -" I pointed dramatically into the distance and did my very best Captain Morgan pose, "to copy Makaru's homework."

 

 

 

survivoremzee_zps4a6a3416.png

 

That would be quite the achievement for someone to access a chamber inside a volcano. I didn't realize we had the power to swim in lava. 

 

 

Unless we did have that power. I stored that thought in my mind for later. I never saw anyone or anything fall into the lava, and while the area around the volcano did feel hot... technically we should have all burst into flames or melted whenever we went up to that volcano for our competitions. 

 

 

Anyway, back to the plan. There was no way to know what exactly Tufi's world had in store for us, and this volcano was no exception. I knew I'd have to plan for pretty much everything, and I also knew that I'd fail at that. I could at least try though. 

 

 

I would find the entrance to the 777 steps in the Green Belt. Use two other tribesmates to search for it -- the Green Belt wasn't that expansive.

 

 

Once we're actually at the entrance to the chamber, things get a little bit more questionable. What's down there? Will Umbra, the Chamber of Death and the Zone of Nightmares be down there? Will anything canon be down there?

 

 

If yes, then do the following

 

1) Don't be a wuss in the Zone of Nightmares (Keeping It Real will probably work in this scenario)

 

2) Kill one of the other two survivors in the Chamber of Death (and be quick about it since they'll totally plan on doing the same to me)

 

3) Cross the lava gate, destroy the bridge, and hope that your rivals have prepared to meet Kali…

 

4) Criticize the Umbra set so harshly that the poor guy just breaks down

 

5) Walk into the chamber, take the prize, Bob's your uncle. 

 

 

 

I looked down at the crude map I had drawn in the sand with satisfaction. It would not be too difficult to program these steps into one of the nektann. Noting the time, I erased the map from the sand, left the camp, and stopped at a remote area to quickly shut down the scout nektann and begin coding my plan into it.  This companion would make a great guide.

 

 

 

Once that was finished, night had fallen. I set out towards the green belt, knowing that victory depended on getting a head start while not being followed. 

 

 

 

makaruba_zps6614d202.png

 

Mycaruba shattered the barricaded door to the Cavern of Historical Records with ease. I eyed each golden book carefully, and pulled what I believed to be the correct book. Was I correct? I have no idea, because Mycaruba ripped the other two books from their skeletons at the same time. The door shook, then opened.

 

Amazing how ancient contraptions always seem to be dusty and still also work. Astounding!

 

Mycaruba continued to heft his superior weight to our advantage. He took to the vines and swung, knocking the pillar over with ease. The pillar fell, shattered a support collumn, and half of the upper floor caved in, coincidentally bridging the gap between my friend and I.

 

Once we hit Axonn's storeroom, though, we found ourselves scratching our heads. The keys were easy enough to scavenge, but it was impossible to decipher how to get them into the right pedestals. We took our best guess. I put the last key in and turned the latch. There was a resounding click. Success! The door flew open.

 

So did the floor.

 

Team Makaruba had been swept away. The keys were not in the correct placement. We had failed, and I presume we also forfeited our Pendants of life.

 

 

 

[Empress Jen]

 

Just to be safe, even more canisters fell in various spots all over Voya Nui. It was like somebody somewhere had discovered the joys of a souped-up t-shirt cannon. Most of the canisters contained a new message:

"As far as escaping the next week alive goes, Emzee's on the best track. You'll be down to three people before you know it.

Also, pick a voted-off Survivor to take with you as backup for an expedition into the volcano. Next week's going to be a doozy."


The other canisters contained meaningless trinkets.
 

 

 

 

[Empress Jen]

 

Sitting out in the middle of camp like that? Ophelia was disappointed in how easy it would be to take Janus away. She'd even brought fellow Vahki Beatrice along for company. They looked at each other, shrugged, and had this week's loser by the arms within seconds.

Beatrice almost asked why HH wasn't more upset about the loss of her husband, but a quick look from Ophelia told her everything she needed to know.
 

 

 

 

survivoremzee_zps4a6a3416.png

 

I continued my trek into the Green Belt, my three nektann following closely like honorable soldiers. As much as I hated the thought, we were getting just that much closer to the cold, fearsome realization that this was war. 

 

I hoped for the best, but I prepared for the wors-*THUMP*

 

A color blacker than the night filled my vision. I was out cold.

 

----------

 

"Ugghghhhghgh", I moaned as I vision returned to me. After a brief moment of dizziness, I quickly gathered my senses and sat upright. I looked around for my robotic companions was breathed a sigh of relief when I spotted all three, waiting patiently for me to awaken. 

 

Had I been attacked in the night? Did Team Makaruba or Janus and HH find me?

 

Nah, HH would have killed me, as would Makaru, with that Gafnaxe.

 

My peripheral vision spotted something to my far left -- it was a canister! And it landed right on my head. I eagerly grabbed the canister and opened it. 

 

Quote

"As far as escaping the next week alive goes, Emzee's on the best track. You'll be down to three people before you know it.

Also, pick a voted-off Survivor to take with you as backup for an expedition into the volcano. Next week's going to be a doozy."

 

 

That's what's up! Wait, that was an immunity challenge? 

 

I mind quickly changed gears to the second line in that message. 

 

Quote

 

 

pick a voted-off Survivor 

 

Who would I choose? Well that was obvious.

 

"DeeVee," I said to seemingly no one in particular. "Our brewery needs its brewmaster back! Plus it is scientifically proven that the two of us working together are unbeatable-"*THUMP*

 

 

Before I could reminiscence about that time we started a fire simply by being us, a color blacker than the night filled my vision again. I was out cold.

 

 

Again. 

 

 

 

survivordeev.png

 

I woke up on a beach. Last I remembered I had been in a dark room, maybe floating? Was I underwater? Had there been others floating in the room too? It was hazy. 

And now I was on a beach. 

No. Not again. I sighed. Was this better than whatever nefarious purpose we were being used for in captivity? 

And why was I back?
 

 

 

 

survivorhusky_zps8c940ce0.png

 

The preparations were complete. I had traced an intricate circle of runes into the wet sand, sprinkled them with dew water and my own spit, and paced around the circle 3 times clockwise and once counter-clockwise. I clapped my hands and chanted the magic words.

 

"Kittens, Feminism, GIFs, Ducks. Disney, Sailor Moon, Eplilepsy Warning. Homestuck. Bless This Post."

 

The ground shook violently as the runes began to glow. A mighty wave rose up from the ocean, crashing on to the shore not far from where I stood. When the wave fell back, Kakaru was laying on the shore, covered in seaweed and angry flopping fish. I picked up the sandwich from the center of the rune circle and took a bite, regarding my son with a little surprise.

 

"Oh, hey!" I covered my mouth while I chewed. "If I had known you were coming, I would've ordered another sandwich."

 

 

 

survivorkakaruunaf_zpsd836d53a.png

 

I woke up on the beach as disgruntled as I was the day Tufi threw us all into this mess three months ago. I hauled myself to my feet once more, picked the seaweed out of my hair, and gazed unhappily at the sandwich my mom was eating. Only moments before, I was sitting on their couch marathoning the first season of Macgyver on Netflix and eating that exact sandwich. You know the feeling.

I cracked my knuckles, stumbled over to the pub, and took a long swig of the nearest bottle. It was water but I liked to pretend.

"What's the plan?" I slurred. "I don't know about you guys, but I aim to misbehave."

HH gave me a look. "Don't murder anyone this time. I don't want to ban you again."

"Yes mom." I sidled up to Makaru quietly and winked. He winked back.

 

tumblr_marj8h7zv01r4e0kjo1_500_zpsba5ca5

 

 

 


Edited by Hahli Husky, Jan 02 2014 - 09:29 PM.

  • 0

NoNoNoNoNonNO

You misunderstood me

You didn't hear what I said

You're not listening LIKE MOST AMERICANS

-Arin Hanson


#301 Offline Hahli Husky

Hahli Husky
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Global Moderators
  • Senior Goose

  • 5,135 posts
  •   BZP Staff

Posted Jan 02 2014 - 09:38 PM

 

makbang2013_zpsb5ecd471.png

 

Somehow, after falling to my most certain death, I wound up back at camp?? Peculiar. Mycaruba was no longer there, nor was he funny enough to keep milking that joke.

 

There was a message in front of me, written in twigs.

 

PICK A VOTED OFF SURVIVOR

 

I shouted "KAKARU!"

 

Then I saw another message written in twigs nearby.

 

HH ALREADY DRAFTED THE FISH

 

I walked back to the camp. Dejected. I sat at the bar. Nearby, HH was fawning/scolding over her little guy. I was this close.

 

Kakaru sat next to me. That lug. I could never be mad at him. He winked at me. I winked back.

 

"Man, I tell you. I miss having a whipping boy to serve us drinks. I wish Arpy where here."

 

Suddenly, the man himself sprung up from behind the counter.

 

"Yay! I knew you'd pick me!"

 

Kakaru and I both jumped, shocked.

 

Dread.

 

 

 

tumblr_inline_mufczyoAOe1rpytwq_zpsbd617

 

They thought they could vote you off the island. And they were right.
But somehow, you were back. You'd always known you were a fighter. You got knocked down, but you got up again. They were never going to keep you down.

You had been called. You had been summoned. You had been chosen.

You felt like a Pokemon.

 

 

 

survivoremzee_zps4a6a3416.png

 

Ugghghhhghgh, I moaned as I awoke from my double concussion. 

 

"Did it work?" I mumbled as I sat upright, "Did I win?"

 

I climbed to my feet and look around. Apparently a second canister had hit me. I quickly picked it up out of the dirt and opened it, expecting some sort of message. 

 

Instead I found LEGO earrings. Why?????

 

I stuffed the earrings into my left jean pocket. Who knows? They might be useful. 

 

In the meantime though, I now had a choice: would I continue to the volcano and hope DeeVee finds me, or would I try to find him? Heck, unless he already knows I summoned him, he might end up recruited by one of the others.

 

I would have to play it safe then. I turned around and made my way back towards the camp. Surely DeeVee would wander back to the brewhouse, if nothing else. 

 

 

 

survivordeev.png

 

Of all the brew houses, he had to walk into mine. I looked at him- dark, handsome, average height, with a smile that would knock your socks off. I knew that I was what he was looking for. Instinctively. It helped that he waved. I drained my glass.

"Excellent drink, barkeep." I spoke solemnly up myself. Remembering the times, the laughter, the experiences. Truly the end of an era had passed.

I got up and walked toward our new hero. My arm around his shoulder we walked in silence through the door, leaving what had once been a bastion of civilization. I paused and turned off the lights for the last time. Sad music played from the speakers. 

And then we burned it down. Luckily of course, we kept the last of the special brew master's reserve for ourselves.
 

 

 

 

survivoremzee_zps4a6a3416.png

 

I did not say anything as DeeVee and I watched the place burn. I was too deep in thought of all the memories, the shenanigans with Ludo, and the conversations had in this fine facility.

 

I suppose all great things must eventually come to an end.  

 

 

 

survivordeev.png

 

Emzee and I looked good in the glow of the flames. We were strong. Finally all that was left was ash. I looked at him. Finally we spoke.

"So what in the world am I doing back???"
 

 

 

 

makbang2013_zpsb5ecd471.png

Arpy and I ducked out the back again and made a break for Tufi's prize. I was sure she still wanted us to get there. Once we hit Axonn's Storeroom, we decided to take a break.

 

Somehow, Arpy managed to smuggle rations back onto the island. He called them "Pokepuffs", whatever those were. The one I had tasted like mint sawdust, but it was better than the grub we were picking off whatever trees we found. Less nausea and blacking out and stuff.

 

Arpy managed to choose the correct keys this time, and we found ourselves making progress to the Chamber of the Secret Markers. I felt a little bit underwhelmed because the puzzle was literally just

 

10054276000_lg_zpsb3c09b84.jpg

Pictured : The timeless riddle

 

Once we walked through into the room of the Ancient Toa, Arpy lit up. He dashed over. I had no time to stop as he jumped into what looked like a Kopaka statue.

 

"This is the one!" he cried.

 

I dared not look. He pulled the levers, I heard grinding.

 

"Come on!" said Arpy.

 

He had done it. The fool actually did it.

 

 

THIS TOOK AN ENTIRE AFTERNOON AND I HAD TO RE-UPLOAD ALL OF THE PICTURES

 

YOU GUYS BETTER BE GLAD I LIKE YOU THIS MUCH

 

I EXPECT ICE CREAM

 

 

????? THE END ?????


Edited by Hahli Husky, Jan 02 2014 - 09:41 PM.

  • 0

#302 Offline Kakaru

Kakaru
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Reporters
  • Senior Fish

  • 1,724 posts
  •   BZP Reporter

Posted Jan 02 2014 - 10:08 PM

survivorkakaruunaf.png


It seemed as though a great period of time had passed once more. The bar had burnt to the ground and the remains were long cold. The beach was covered in snow and the shivering bodies of the recently deceased-and-necromanced. My gold 2013 swag pendant had melted and been replaced with a crude 2014 replica in mspaint, which I was not happy about and subsequently made an appropriate face to express my feelings.

master_angry_face_by_cheetah875-d640kjn.


That's it. That was my face. I was angry. I hope that emotion comes across well.

The beat of the mission had changed, everyone had slowed to a crawl as if suffering a great hangover from all the grass clippings we'd ingested the night (or year) before. My inner monologue seemed to be turning into an incredibly meta self-reference which was technically not a sin as stated by the Staff Survivor's Bible. My mom and dad had, after all, practically recapped the entire second half of the game in an adorable back-and-forth segment just moments ago.

Having stood around on the beach all winter suffering an interminably sustained hangover, I hoped to be either dead or crowned the victor within the next month. I gestured to the rest of the gathered survivors as though about to make an incredible speech, took of my mask, and promptly punched Makaru in the face. You know, to get back into the spirit of things.

  • 0

tf302.jpg


#303 Offline Arpy

Arpy
  • Premier Member
  • Premier Forum Assistants
  • Pahrak-Kal Melted

  • 4,528 posts
  •   BZP Assistant

Posted Jan 17 2014 - 04:34 PM

tumblr_inline_mufczyoAOe1rpytwq_zpsbd617

 

You know what really grinds your gears? Levers. Thanks to those gears, the ground beneath your seat rose up and flung you and Makaru into something very like a roller coaster car.
 
You thought you heard voices coming from somewhere, but then the car lurched forward and you were off down a psychedelic track of strange grinning faces and flickering lights.
 
"Makaru, put your hands in the air!" you screamed.
 
"There's no way of knowing which way we are going!" he screamed back.
 
"No, seriously, put your hands in the air!" you yelled. The two of you raised your hands just in time to catch a low-hanging ledge, which only dislocated your shoulders a tiny bit given the speed. The car zipped off the end of the track and into an Olympic pool's worth of hot boiling lava.

You clambered up onto the dimly lit ledge and focused your eyes. You stood stock still in shock. An equally surprised being stared at you from the shadows. It crossed its front legs.


such sphinx, it said.
 

very riddle

wow


  • 0


tumblr_mqdlmepiG01rf11n3o1_500.png





0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users