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Peter. An epic by TreloManka

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5 replies to this topic

#1 Offline MrPerson

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Posted Jul 30 2013 - 07:38 PM

If you like my epic, then say so BY THE DISCUSSION TOPIC. DO NOT COMMENT ON THIS TOPIC or it will be deleted by...somebody. Let me start it off by a quick prologue.




I woke with a start. My mouth felt like a hornet laid a nest in it. Finally, I gained the strength to just open my eyes. I made a mistake by trying to speak. It, of course, came out as gibberish. Plus the amount of pain in my mouth increased by about a million. I groaned. I tried getting up, but I could barely lift my hands. It took me a while...But I finally got to my elbows. Then everything just went blurry and dark...And then I fainted.


Who am I? I wish I knew...I can't remember anything...like my mind has been wiped. It's like trying to remember a dream you had a couple days ago. It's very faint. Wait...I think I can finally...Yes! My name... I think...My name is Peter.

Edited by TreloManka, Jul 31 2013 - 08:19 AM.

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#2 Offline MrPerson

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Posted Jul 30 2013 - 10:02 PM

Chapter 1

The man with pesky hair


5 years before Prologue:


I woke up in my bedroom. Normal day, normal job, normal everything. I groaned.

I sat up in my bed, and turned my head to look at the alarm clock. 6:03. Again, I groaned and got up slowly out of my bed. I got dressed in my work suit and tie. I walked down the stairs to go get some morning coffee. I lazily walked down the stairs. Just when I hit the third-to-last step...I heard a strange noise. Kind of like a hiss and a scream put together. Then I heard,


Intruder! I thought. I had been prepared if an intruder had ever come one of these days. I slowly stepped back in my room, reached under my bed and grabbed the 'Emergency Handgun.' In case this guy tried to harm me. I slowly and quietly walked down the stairs. When I got all the way down I looked around. Something told me this was worse than an intruder. I saw nothing. When I was about to go back up, I heard it again. This time I heard it coming from under the cupboard! I ran to under the cupboard and opened the door.

For half a split second I got to see a man. Not really a man I guess...He had hair that was so long it went down to the floor. He was about five feet tall? And he had a completely black face with no mouth or nose or ears. All he had was eyes. And they were about as deep a tone of red as you can get. Oh, and they glowed, the eyes. Except for the pupils. They didn't glow. Only the iris which was as I said dark red. He wore a black coat which covered his entire lower body, and dragged on the floor a little still. In the split second that I opened the door he punched his hands in front of me, but didn’t hit me. While his hands shot towards me, so did his hair. His long green hair. Except the hair can reach me. The weird thing was...The hair kept growing around me until I couldn't breathe any more. So basically somebody wrapped me in their hair. Then he let me go. The hair went back to its original place. He put his hands at his side. And...I wasn't there anymore.



If you like, say in discussion topic, I love feedback!

Edited by MrPerson, Aug 17 2013 - 06:09 PM.

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#3 Offline MrPerson

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Posted Jul 31 2013 - 10:28 AM

Chapter 2

In the desert


After Prologue:


I woke up, again. This time the pain wasn't that bad. I could get up, as least. I stood up slowly, still kind of limping. I finally opened my eyes. Oh great, I thought. I'm in a desert. It was a desert alright. Sand down for miles. No water or nothing. I guess I'm just gonna starve to death. Then, just when I'd thought all hope was lost, I heard somebody say, “Hey look! It's another one. Lets go get him before he goes mad.” I turned around, to see an old man walking in a cane, walking towards me.

“Come on. Over here.” He grabbed my arm. “The place is about to change.”

That made me curious. I don't know what he meant by 'The place is about to change...'

He pulled me away to- wow...When I saw where he was taking me I just jaw-dropped.

A HUGE blue building. It looked like a modern day New York skyscraper. Black, with a LOT of windows. And very high. He pulled me in through the front door.

I guess Ill have to describe this guy eventually. He had a white beard, and long hair- Long hair. Wait...My brain is starting to hurt. I think...I might be remembering something else...- Then I lost my concentration by the man screaming “Hey everybody get out its time to go!”

“Go where?” I said with a major headache.

“To the refrigerator box! Listen, I'll explain everything later.” 

Edited by TreloManka, Jul 31 2013 - 10:29 AM.

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#4 Offline MrPerson

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Posted Jul 31 2013 - 11:30 AM

Chapter 3

Dimension Number Two



Things were really starting to creep me out. First, the...First...The man. Wait, I'm starting to remember something...The man...The long hair...The man who got me here!

“Excuse me, do you know anything about a person with long hai-” He wouldn't even let me finish.

“Do NOT speak of him!” said the old man. “He's the one that made us- all of us- waste our entire lives in the desert!” He had kind-of long white hair and a long, white beard. He walked with a cane, and- How did he live so long in the desert? He looked well fed. Although he had bad clothes. He wore it so long it looked like it just fell apart. It was scratched up. And his pants too...

“QUICKLY! EVERYBODY TO THE BOX!” he screamed inside. Everybody came rushing out. There were a lot of people. They ran out to the corner where there was a big cardboard refrigerator box. That said, 'Please help the poor.' I followed them when they all tried to go in. They had a little tin can I suppose for money.

“Who's poor?” I asked.

“Just look.” Said the old man. I turned around to look out the box and...Everything was changing one by one. Everything except for the building and the box. Now it looked like New York with people walking around everywhere.

“Woah.” I said.

“Welcome, to Dimension Number 2.”

Edited by TreloManka, Jul 31 2013 - 11:30 AM.

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#5 Offline MrPerson

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Posted Aug 01 2013 - 08:18 AM

Chapter 4



Dimension Number Two? What in the world is that?! I thought. People starting throwing coins into the bucket.

“Now you can ask those questions you've been wanting to ask, Son.” He said, looking confused. “Why did I say son? Anyway, go on with the questions.”

“What are we doing here? What is Dimension Number Two? Is collecting money like this even legal?” I said fast.

“Woah, WOAH, slow it down, Son.” He looked confused again. “Why am I calling you son!?”

“OK, OK, First-”The man cut me off with, “Shush! I'm starting to remember something! This is rare!”

He started concentrating hard.

“Son...Who's my son?!..Wait....-WHO?... HIM?!”

“What?!” I asked. “You're my father?!”


This chapter is probably just short and noobish because I was in a hurry, and didn't have time to proofread it

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#6 Offline MrPerson

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Posted Aug 17 2013 - 06:08 PM

Chapter 5

Questions and Coins


“SON!” Said my now-remembered father. “Your name is....” He closed his eyes to concentrate. Then he sprung up in happiness. “PETER!”

“And yours is...” I closed my eyes and concentrated. “Umm.... TIM!”

“It's been 30 minutes. We don't have much time. Get back to the questions.”

“OK, what's Dimension Number Two?” I asked.

“When people get attacked by the...thing, they go here. Dimension Number Two has two different places that change every hour. Dimension Number Three has Three places, then Four, and it goes on forever. The dimensions are infinite. You see, Earth is actually Dimension Number One, because it never changes. This dimension changes from desert to New York around and around in a loop. Don't worry, stealing money from people in Dimensions other than dimension number one IS legal, because these aren't actually. Think of them as copies of Dimension Number One. Think of them as fakes.”

“Oh. That’s a lot to process. But why didn't the house or the box change?”

“I hacked into the control panel and turned off the switch filter for those two objects.”

“Come on, we only have fifteen more minutes, any more questions?”

“Yeah. Why is the man with long hair right behind you?”

Edited by MrPerson, Aug 17 2013 - 06:09 PM.

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