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Flawed or Just Plain Horrible Movies


Mr. House

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What crimes against film have you watch recently or in the past?

 

For me, it was 300. I know its supposed to be stylized but I am a history buff, and I was not amused by the films disregard for it. It took history, choked it, knocked it unconcious, and painted a pencil stache on it with a sharpie. And didn't look back. Seriously, ARMORED RHINOS in Ancient Persia?! Next, it had an absurd amount of fanservice. Of both sexes. Because heck, historical record clearly states that Ancient Greek soldiers had freakin' chest plates. Charging into battle with your chest'o manliness would have gotten you five arrows in those abs of yours.

Sure, it had pretty good battle scenes, some very cool characters, and some very cool lines. But still, I do not, and will never like it. >:(

 

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To be fair, 300 is not supposed to be historically accurate, and criticize it for being so is kind of missing the point. That being said, I agree, it's a pretty bad movie for other reasons.

 

I know what I like to watch and try hard to avoid bad movies (or rather, movies I know I will dislike). But sometimes a few slip through. The movies at the 'top' of worst movies I've ever seen list are:

 

A Day Without a Mexican - A weak, one note plot, plot holes, pointless humor that isn't funny, and an attempt at social commentary that falls flat because whoever wrote the script didn't think too hard about the premise. Had to watch for school. Twice.

 

Date Movie - I wanted to see how bad it was. It was bad. Don't watch it.

 

Stomp the Yard - Boring, cliched high school romance/dance film. Also had to watch for school.

 

The Ugly Truth - The worst kind of romantic comedy: one that isn't funny and features horrible chemistry between the leads.

 

I'm sure I can come up with one more if I think hard, but I really don't want to. So I'll just throw Transformers: Dark of the Moon as an honoree to make up for it. But it's still miles better than those other four abominations.

Edited by Vorahk1Panrahk2
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David Lynch's Dune wins the award for worst adaptation ever. Dull acting; an absurd, at times disgusting art direction that clashes with the setting; bad effects; and worst of all, a misunderstanding of the source material so massive that it's almost funny. Almost.

 

It says a lot about the quality of an adaptation when it manages to confuse those who haven't read the book and those who have.

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Outside of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, I can't recall a lot of terrible movies I've seen that weren't featured on Mystery Science Theatre 3000 or directed by Ed Wood.I'd still recommend an Ed Wood movie over most bad movies that come out nowadays, though. They're hilarious for all the wrong reasons.

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I saw Manos: The Hands of Fate (MST3K version), but that's it for first hand experience. The Nostalgia Critic has shown me a VERY large amount of bad movies, such as Milk Money, The Room, Ferngully, and plenty more I can't remember off the top of my head because there are hundreds. Oh, and JonTron showed me Birdemic, which I REALLY want to see for myself.

 

The worst movies I've ever seen are Super Mario Bros. and The Last Airbender.

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Am I allowed to mention this one? I subjected myself to the very rare and extraordinarily pornographic film Caligula. Though it was the "pre-release" version I watched which deleted most of the explicit scenes, it still needed a lot of work before it even began to represent what Gore Vidal had written. All a clash between three creative minds. And anyway I started to miss Peter O'Toole and John Gielgud near the end.

~ CHTrilogy

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Iron Man 3. Jeez, I don't think I could ever watch it again. It was the worst comic book movie since X3: The Last Stand.

 

Here are the problems:

 

- There was no Mandarin. It was that loser Killian the whole time. There is no comic book fan who has any sort of admiration or respect for Killian. But Mandarin is a freaking awesome character, and he would have become ever MORE awesome with Ben Kingsley's amazing performance. But the Mandarin turned out to be a weirdo named Trevor. And the world wept.

 

- Tony blew up all his suits. Why? Is his brain broken?

 

- Tony got the stuff from his heart removed. Which was reported as impossible by the other two movies. That means this movie effectively killed Iron Man.

 

- Why does Tony have panic attacks? It's never explained.

 

- Where's S.H.I.E.L.D. this whole time?

 

- Pepper now has super powers. Now that's just ridiculous. She should join the Avengers.

 

 

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Iron Man 3. Jeez, I don't think I could ever watch it again. It was the worst comic book movie since X3: The Last Stand.

 

Here are the problems:

 

- There was no Mandarin. It was that loser Killian the whole time. There is no comic book fan who has any sort of admiration or respect for Killian. But Mandarin is a freaking awesome character, and he would have become ever MORE awesome with Ben Kingsley's amazing performance. But the Mandarin turned out to be a weirdo named Trevor. And the world wept.

 

- Tony blew up all his suits. Why? Is his brain broken?

 

- Tony got the stuff from his heart removed. Which was reported as impossible by the other two movies. That means this movie effectively killed Iron Man.

 

- Why does Tony have panic attacks? It's never explained.

 

- Where's S.H.I.E.L.D. this whole time?

 

- Pepper now has super powers. Now that's just ridiculous. She should join the Avengers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_Man:_Extremis also SHIELD is doing with Cap's sequel and dat TV show too. I did see some terrible films too,but the one that is most Terrible is Batman and Robin due to The stupid ice puns.

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Iron Man 3. Jeez, I don't think I could ever watch it again. It was the worst comic book movie since X3: The Last Stand.

 

Here are the problems:

 

- There was no Mandarin. It was that loser Killian the whole time. There is no comic book fan who has any sort of admiration or respect for Killian. But Mandarin is a freaking awesome character, and he would have become ever MORE awesome with Ben Kingsley's amazing performance. But the Mandarin turned out to be a weirdo named Trevor. And the world wept.

 

- Tony blew up all his suits. Why? Is his brain broken?

 

- Tony got the stuff from his heart removed. Which was reported as impossible by the other two movies. That means this movie effectively killed Iron Man.

 

- Why does Tony have panic attacks? It's never explained.

 

- Where's S.H.I.E.L.D. this whole time?

 

- Pepper now has super powers. Now that's just ridiculous. She should join the Avengers.

 

-I totally agree, that completely ruined the movie for me. But remember, China helped fund this movie. Therefore, a Yellow Peril Mandarin (as in, the awesome, very Chinese Mandarin) would have severely upset their funders, and therefore, they had to be creative. And that's why it sucks.

 

-Supposedly so he can focus on Pepper...except every single person in this world and arguably all the other worlds know that Tony Stark is Iron Man. Regardless of the presence or lack thereof of his suits, they will try their darndest to kill him. So yes, his brain is totally busted, thanks to a certain redhead.

 

-Yes, this is a blatant disregard for what the other movies said. However, it is the more realistic option. There's very little medicine can't do, but the universe already established that they were irremovable. What I want to know is what they did with the gaping hole in his chest. His sternum would be in two pieces, so he'd need pretty much a new ribcage, as well as several square inches of skin. But it didn't kill Iron Man. The suits are almost entirely self-powered. The early ones may have connected to his chest reactor, but all later ones are self-sustaining. That's how they operate on their own, or on someone without a reactor.

 

-It's PTSD from nearly dying in New York, that's what the flashbacks make clear. He's haunted by the events of the Avengers, and he keeps having flashbacks. He feels insecure without his armor, which is an interesting throwback to one storyline I remember, where Rhodey falls in the water in a powerless War Machine, and he almost drowns. From then on, he feels completely insecure while he's IN the armor.

 

-That's an excellent question, I can't remember them being in the movie at all. Maybe Captain America 2 will answer that for us. But it could be that terrorism isn't SHIELD's field, just like the FDA doesn't deal with cars or buildings.

 

-It's clearly a throwback to Rescue, but making Tony the damsel in distress that Pepper saves was a really poor move.

 

In the end, Iron Man 3 neutered every single awesome character, from the Mandarin to Tony, Rhodey to Pepper...I'll rewatch it on DVD, but I doubt I'll like it any more.

 

...Incidentally, Iron Man 3 is a pretty flawed movie.

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Percy Jackson. oh boy, where to begin

-Annabeth is clearly portrayed as being blonde. how did they screw that up?

-Percy is twelve, not seventeen

-they didn't even follow the basic storyline of the book

-that's not how they got the pearls and that's not how they work

-Not racism, but Grover was white. and he didn't have crutches.

-WHERE WAS CLARRISE?!!

-that is not what Hades looked like. he was a dark ruler of Hades, not a modern 20-year old.

-the lightning bolt was in the pack Ares gave him, not in the shield luke gave him

-speaking of that, where was Ares?

-Kronos was the one who thought up this, not Luke.

-that's not how Luke went out.

-That's not how the ferry ride went.

-hey, doesn't anyone remember crusty?!

-what happened to the scorpion poisoning Percy?

-Backbiter? where is it?

-the shield was made by Tyson in the second book, not given by Luke in the first.

 

I could go on, but you get the idea. the movie alone was semi-decent, but when you read the book, you realize that they took an awesome story and made it as bad as they could.

Edited by Dovahkiin

Previously known as Aiwendil.

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I think it's wise not to discuss that film any more, guys.

I occasionally return to BZP for a nostalgic trip back. Hit me up on discord if you need anything. 
 
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David Lynch's Dune wins the award for worst adaptation ever. Dull acting; an absurd, at times disgusting art direction that clashes with the setting; bad effects; and worst of all, a misunderstanding of the source material so massive that it's almost funny. Almost.

 

It says a lot about the quality of an adaptation when it manages to confuse those who haven't read the book and those who have.

 

David Lynch's Dune is a lot easier to understand if you're an aficionado of the rest of his repertoire. If you went into it expecting a faithful adaptation of the source material, you're were misguided.

 

Will I try to present it as a successful film, from an artistic standpoint? Not necessarily. It's heavily flawed in numerous ways (although the contrasting juxtapositions in tone, setting, and art direction are undoubtedly intentional). But boy is it fascinating to watch! Back in my college days, my buddies and I used to have a Dune Night at least once a semester.

 

Plus, you know. Sting without a shirt is hot.

bring back "an cool dude"

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I saw Manos: The Hands of Fate (MST3K version), but that's it for first hand experience. The Nostalgia Critic has shown me a VERY large amount of bad movies, such as Milk Money, The Room, Ferngully, and plenty more I can't remember off the top of my head because there are hundreds. Oh, and JonTron showed me Birdemic, which I REALLY want to see for myself.

 

The worst movies I've ever seen are Super Mario Bros. and The Last Airbender.

 

Greetings, fellow Nostalgia Critic and JonTron fan!

 

Watching The Last Airbender was both hilarious and infuriating from how bad it was. My brother and I couldn't stop talking about it after watching it in theaters. Can't wait to see NC review it soon, especially considering that he watched and adored the actual show recently.

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I saw Manos: The Hands of Fate (MST3K version), but that's it for first hand experience. The Nostalgia Critic has shown me a VERY large amount of bad movies, such as Milk Money, The Room, Ferngully, and plenty more I can't remember off the top of my head because there are hundreds. Oh, and JonTron showed me Birdemic, which I REALLY want to see for myself.

 

The worst movies I've ever seen are Super Mario Bros. and The Last Airbender.

 

Greetings, fellow Nostalgia Critic and JonTron fan!

 

Watching The Last Airbender was both hilarious and infuriating from how bad it was. My brother and I couldn't stop talking about it after watching it in theaters. Can't wait to see NC review it soon, especially considering that he watched and adored the actual show recently.

 

I've been greatly anticipating that review. As a matter of fact, I'm watching To Boldly Flee right now :P

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-Cannibal Holocaust

Horrific imagery, most of which was NOT staged

 

-The Room

Worst acting I've ever seen in anything, EVER. Including Nativity plays

 

-Teen Beach Movie

This isn't ordinary Disney Channel... this is... Advanced Disney Channel

 

-The Human Centipede

I don't think I need to explain

Gee golly, I sure do love Bionicles! My favourite one is Hero Factory!

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David Lynch's Dune is a lot easier to understand if you're an aficionado of the rest of his repertoire. If you went into it expecting a faithful adaptation of the source material, you're were misguided.

I don't mind it when an adaptation takes liberties with the source material (Honestly, I expect it), or when a director uses their unique style to adapt a story (Good example: Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy). However some stories and styles should never cross paths, ever. David Lynch seems more concerned with confusing you than with telling a story, let alone one as complex as Dune; I can't for the life of me figure out why they thought he would be a good choice.You wouldn't get the guy that made The Happening to make an Avatar movie....Oh wait...

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Another film I'd like to address is a fairly forgotten movie, Billy Jack. Now, let me say that this movie is hyper-political. I won't get into details about whether I agree or disagree with them, as to not break the rules. I will, however, get onto it for the way it potrayed volatile and sensitive issues.

 

Firstly, the film has not a single ounce of subtlety. Everything is in-your-face, exaggerated to an absurd degree, has more ham then a freakin' Christmas dinner. The characters are flat, dull and stereotyped. The story is like a ridiculous counter to Dirty Harry. With the main character fighting the director's political opponents with Kung-fu and lever rifles. This movie does not represent the issues of the seventies. This movie represents why Tom Laughlin is a should have never written, directed or acted at all.

 

<_<

 

Okay, rant of the day over and done with...

Edited by Mr. House
I occasionally return to BZP for a nostalgic trip back. Hit me up on discord if you need anything. 
 
BZPRPG Characters that I will possibly revive, Mons-Shajs-Tarotrix-Aryll Vudigg-Jorruk Yokin-Senavysh Angavur

 

 

 

 

 

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I'm probably going to be killed by a hoard of angry fanboys for saying this, but The Dark Knight Rises.

 

Batman is the most awesome thing ever.

 

That movie is the least awesome thing ever.

 

I have to admit it had a really good villain, who was a stupid terrorist on painkillers instead of an awesome mercenary with super strength. Unh. Just shoot me.

 

Also, Batman sounds like the [boink] Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs. Also, where are the batarangs? The smoke bombs? The ice pellets? The flashlights? The laser cutters? The tracking devices? The grappling hooks? The *insert something Batman is known for using here*? No, we get two explosives and a flair. Blah.

 

Gordon? Booooring. "Robin?" How about no? Lucius Fox? Meh. Alfred? Booooring. Talia al Ghul? Just... Make it stop. Please.

 

Then there's the plot. Wait, what plot?

 

The whole thing is pure evil. I think the Joker is behind it somehow.

Edited by -Windrider-

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I'm probably going to be killed by a hoard of angry fanboys for saying this, but The Dark Knight Rises.

 

Batman is the most awesome thing ever.

 

That movie is the least awesome thing ever.

 

I have to admit it had a really good villain, who was a stupid terrorist on painkillers instead of an awesome mercenary with super strength. Unh. Just shoot me.

 

Also, Batman sounds like the [bloop] Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs. Also, where are the batarangs? The smoke bombs? The ice pellets? The flashlights? The laser cutters? The tracking devices? The grappling hooks? The *insert something Batman is known for using here*? No, we get two explosives and a flair. Blah.

 

Gordon? Booooring. "Robin?" How about no? Lucius Fox? Meh. Alfred? Booooring. Talia al Ghul? Just... Make it stop. Please.

 

Then there's the plot. Wait, what plot?

 

The whole thing is pure evil. I think the Joker is behind it somehow.

I didn't like TDKR too much, 'specially because I saw TDK about a week before hand. Half the time, I couldn't even tell what Bane was saying, and the movie itself was kinda boring.

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300 was one of my favourite movies :(

 

jamag i'll agree that tdkr was probably the worst flick in the trilogy but it was nowhere near as bad as your saying it was. also to sort of play devils advocate, it wasn't supposed to be a movie about batman being awesome, it was supposed to be the story of the man underneath the suit. you're looking at it wrong. and bane was cool even though he was basically just a henchman.

 

but bad movies tho? i didn't like pulp fiction. i missed the theme, if there was one. it gave off an intelligent feel, like it was trying to say something, but it didn't really say anything and was just sort of a mindless joyride. tarantino is sort of like that, i think, but inglorious b knew what it was, so i hold it higher than pulp fiction personally just because it never had that identity crisis.

 

i had a ton of problems with the butterfly effect. i get why it was popular and i did like it, but there were a lot of problems with it. and of the star wars prequels, same story. and one i'm gonna get flak for? skyfall. maybe it's because i'm not a james bond junkie and didn't understand the movie, but as an outsider i thought it was confused. it couldn't decide whether or not it was about james or about the villain or about the relationship between james and M and it was just a melting pot of all three.

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Skyline. Far too much hype, looked like it was made out to be an action flick, and not a horror movie. Poor dwindling-party plot, logical fallacies everywhere(Blowing up an alien ship with a nuke would cause extensive damage to Los Angeles, for example), and an absolutely awful ending.

Morally unambiguous.

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The Last Airbender. I mean seriously. That movie is terrible.

 

I really disliked Captain America quite a bit as well.

I loved the beginning, as World War II is one of my favorite eras, but as soon as the red-faced demon dude came onto the scene I kinda gave up on it (I did see the entire thing though).

 

Toy Story 3. People said it was dark, so I watched it. It was nowhere near as dark as the first one.

 

There's probably more, but I can't think of them (my mind has blocked them out :P).

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"YOU ARE TEARING ME APART LISA"

 

"I definitely have breast cancer"

 

"I did not hit her, it's not true, it's bull####, I did not hit her! I did NOT! Oh hai Mark."

 

"It's not over! Everybody betrayed me! I'm fed up with this world!"

 

"You just a chicken. CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP!"

 

"Leave your stupid comments in your pocket."

 

Need I say more? Yeah, I know calling the Room the worst film ever is super cliched, but seriously doe

Edited by ReckoningReckoner

Majhost sucks

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"YOU ARE TEARING ME APART LISA"

 

"I definitely have breast cancer"

 

"I did not hit her, it's not true, it's bull####, I did not hit her! I did NOT! Oh hai Mark."

 

"It's not over! Everybody betrayed me! I'm fed up with this world!"

 

"You just a chicken. CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP!"

 

"Leave your stupid comments in your pocket."

 

Need I say more? Yeah, I know calling the Room the worst film ever is super cliched, but seriously doe

"Maybe, if the whole world love each other, then maybe the wowrld would be a better place to live".

 

Have you seen the DVD extras? Tommy actually says that The Room needs to be seen twice for you to fully understand it.

 

His accent was amazing though.

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"Maybe, if the whole world love each other, then maybe the wowrld would be a better place to live".

 

Have you seen the DVD extras? Tommy actually says that The Room needs to be seen twice for you to fully understand it.

 

His accent was amazing though.

 

 

I have not, but it sounds amazing. Tommy Wiseau is such an creepy man.

 

Did you know that Greg Sestero, the actor for mark, is going to release a memoir about his experiences working on the room? Reading the description on Amazon, I think Sestero was totally aware that he was going to be in a horribly bad film.

Majhost sucks

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"Maybe, if the whole world love each other, then maybe the wowrld would be a better place to live".

 

Have you seen the DVD extras? Tommy actually says that The Room needs to be seen twice for you to fully understand it.

 

His accent was amazing though.

 

 

I have not, but it sounds amazing. Tommy Wiseau is such an creepy man.

 

Did you know that Greg Sestero, the actor for mark, is going to release a memoir about his experiences working on the room? Reading the description on Amazon, I think Sestero was totally aware that he was going to be in a horribly bad film.

 

I have not, but now I have to look into this!

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Where do you find The Room? Is it on Netflix?

I occasionally return to BZP for a nostalgic trip back. Hit me up on discord if you need anything. 
 
BZPRPG Characters that I will possibly revive, Mons-Shajs-Tarotrix-Aryll Vudigg-Jorruk Yokin-Senavysh Angavur

 

 

 

 

 

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Where do you find The Room? Is it on Netflix?

For the sake of Netflix I hope not. If you want the jist of it, look up the Nostalgia Critic's review. I'd link you to it, but there's a lot of bad language and the movie kinda gets into areas that BZPower wouldn't allow (not exactly porn, but still iffy stuff). But the main reason I cannot link you to it is because the staff will get mad at me for posting something with acting and storyline that bad.

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  • 2 months later...

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-Cannibal Holocaust

Horrific imagery, most of which was NOT staged

Oh God... oh God... that one nearly drove me insane... and I only watched a review! :crying:

snapback.png

^ Oh, man, Titanic: The Animated Musical... I remember watching that review and wondering how something so awful could have possibly even been filmed. Never heard of the other animated musical, though.

Oh, gosh. I just watched Nostalgia Critic's review of the other musical. Why... just... why. :crying:

And I honestly thought that octopus was going to haunt my nightmares! And the ending - what a cop-out! :cry:

Edited by CHTrilogy

~ CHTrilogy

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To get back on topic, let me say I hated Now You See Me. Hated It..

 

Seriously, don't they realize all the money they stole, and distributed to the masses would obviously be tracked down by the angry government and banks, and summarily returned? Don't they realize they robbed a (Truthfully horrible) man's innocent heirs of everything, leaving them penniless?

 

I seriously rooted for the FBI.

Edited by Mr. House
I occasionally return to BZP for a nostalgic trip back. Hit me up on discord if you need anything. 
 
BZPRPG Characters that I will possibly revive, Mons-Shajs-Tarotrix-Aryll Vudigg-Jorruk Yokin-Senavysh Angavur

 

 

 

 

 

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Man of Steel. Not only was Clark's human dad portrayed as the most insane human being in North America, but I didn't get why Zod couldn't move his eyeballs to smite that family at the end of the movie.

 

Which brings me to another point - Superman really doesn't seem to care about people. He tore up a street full of people while fighting Kryptonians when there was a cornfield ten meters away.

 

Also, there is no way at all Metropolis will ever recover, since the only people it seemed survived that thing was the Daily Planet team (another scene which I thought was just so stupid).

 

 

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