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The Anniversary Edition of Tahu

TAoT TFC TN:TS Meta Nuva remake

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#1 Offline SkywardStriker16

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Posted Oct 30 2013 - 08:49 PM

Well, a year and week (curse you, hackers) has passed since the start of my first comedy and the first entry in The Adventures of Tahu series...that, of course, being The Adventures of Tahu. Looking back on it, I realize that there were some continuity errors, the humor was pretty bad and the writing overall needed a refresh...so here we are.

 

Thus, regarding the above, this remake is to be taken as CANON. And if you don't understand yet, think of it this way. The original Star Fox game was released on the SNES in 1993. In 1997, Star Fox 64 was released as a remake of the original game for the N64. That game is considered canon, so much so that most people don't even know there was a SF game in '93...

 

Now that I'm done with my rant, let's start this again...

 

The Anniversary Edition of Tahu: Transport

 

Prologue: The Motives

 

TEN YEARS AGO…

 

            The Toa swam, closer and closer to the hole in the ocean floor. The golden mask shined brightly in his grasp, knowing itself that its purpose was about to be fulfilled. The Toa himself swam further and further away from his team and the Barraki warlords, knowing that his purpose would soon be fulfilled…he’d no need to say goodbye…

 

            A blue hand punched through his thoughts and into his head, knocking the Toa away. The owner of the blue hand, a blue Toa of Water, gave Toa Mahri Matoro the death stare.

 

            Huh? What was that?  Matoro pondered. Why is this Toa here…and why is she royally screwing up my destiny?

 

            The Toa of Water punched Matoro yet again, knocking the mask out of his hands. The gold mask fell into the hole, into a murky swamp, where it was undiscovered for another ten years. The Toa looked at Matoro again. “Perhaps that mask made it, but you will not.” She looked at her comlink.

 

In the Cord…

 

            Axonn smiled as he looked at his mistress Helryx, who gave him the signal. “Well, what are you waiting for, Toa? Destroy this blasted cord!”

 

            The Toa Mahri did just that, watching Voya Nui fall straight down, crushing the remains of Mahri Nui. Axonn smiled slightly, then unsheathed his axe and smashed it into Jaller’s back, all with his battle cry. “HERE’S AXXIE!”

 

Back on the Ocean Floor…

 

            Helryx cackled. “Five down, one to go. You see, Toa, no one messes with the Orderly Empire…even before it’s even begun.”

 

FIVE YEARS AGO…

 

            “But…she told you not to go…are you disobeying the orders of the empress?”

 

            “I have to, Tahu. It’s been racing through my mind…they couldn’t have just disappeared without not doing their job.”

 

            “Gali, Pohatu and Onua disappeared to play Skyrim when they were supposed to be doing their job.”

 

            “I know, but…look, don’t worry about me. You know me well enough…or will I have to find a different—“

 

            Tahu chuckled. “You won’t have to—I’m always here for you, Gali…I…I wish I could go—“

 

            “It’d be too obvious. And I know you want to get out of here.” Gali sighed. “I’m sorry, Tahu, but I can’t bear to lose…wait, why don’t you talk to Helryx about that? Maybe, like, a trip to Zakaz or the Southern Continent—“

 

            “You and I both know that’s not what I want, Gali. No, I want to see the world, or even other worlds than this. We could expand the empire, get more resources, meet new people—and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

 

            Gali blushed. “Neither would I, Tahu. However…that will have to wait until I get back. Save a ticket for me, will you?” Gali jumped out the window of the apartment, leaving Tahu alone.

 

The two would not meet again for another five years. And in that time, Gali, Tahu’s best friend and “sweetheart” was presumed dead by almost everyone.

 

Note that I said “almost”, not—

 

Narrator, stop spoiling the story!

 

Sorry, boss. Moving on, then…

In the Present Day…

 

            Ten years had passed since Helryx founded the Orderly Empire. Ten years had passed since Mata Nui had died. Five years had passed since Gali left to search for the Mahri. Five years had passed since Tahu was last happy.

 

            He had enough. He wanted answers. Answers to why he couldn’t leave to find Gali. Answers to why Helryx had outlawed Nintendo consoles in the empire. Tahu wanted a way out. A way to find Gali. A way out…of the terror he was slowly realizing the empire to have.

 

To Be Continued…

 

This is an entirely new chapter to the series. Originally, Chapter 1 was the prologue and Chapter 1, but I kinda figured I’d explain the backstory this time: the rise of the Orderly Empire and Gali’s disappearance are two key factors for Tahu visiting Helryx in the first chapter. It’s too bad I only thought of this during Season 2 of TAoT. Also, the titles for each chapter will mostly be changed from the original, though there might be a few that stay the same.

 

 

And yes, I will be doing reflections on each chapter, basically comparing it to the original.


Edited by Toa of Winds, Apr 22 2014 - 08:06 PM.

  • 0

THE ASHES - The not-so-long-awaited-but-somewhat-appreciated sequel to The Fire Chronicles.

THE ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF TAHU - The rewritten-but-still-somewhat-original comedy that started it all.

Hey guys, sorry that it's been a while, but with the return of BIONICLE I couldn't resist coming back to my old home. Can't wait to reimmerse myself in this great place!

-Striker out

 

 

 


#2 Offline SkywardStriker16

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Posted Nov 08 2013 - 10:37 AM

It's been a few weeks...

 

Chapter 1: Negotiations

 

In Helryx’s Office…

 

            The door opened, and Tahu walked in. Helryx looked up from MNOLG, a stern look on her face. “What are you doing here, Tahu?”

 

            “I came to ask you some questions,” Tahu replied. “Is this…the wrong time? I can certainly leave if you—“

 

            “Oh, there’s no need for that at all. Sit down,” Helryx interrupted, quickly shutting her laptop and clearing her desk off. Several piles of paper fell onto the floor, but Helryx didn’t really care. “What is it? Why are you stuttering? Did Nuju invent another ‘Mask of Immortality’?”

 

            Tahu smiled slightly. “No…it’s not about that. I actually had some questions to ask you, if you wouldn’t mind answering them.”

 

            “Ha! I’d tell you anything…remember that. You’re my most trusted Toa Nuva, after all, considering—“

 

            Tahu looked down. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about, well, partially anyway. What happened to her?”

 

            “Who is her, exactly?” Helryx asked, knowing fully well whom Tahu was talking about.

 

            “You know, empress. I require an answer…as you said you’d give.”

 

            Helryx’s good attitude towards Tahu disappeared almost instantaneously. Well… she thought I did tell him I’d tell him anything…but how should I put this… She cleared her throat. “Let’s just say…she disappeared, and that’s why I never let anyone out.”

 

            “But wouldn’t you trust me to go out? I thought you trusted me the most out of all the Toa.”

 

            “I do, and that’s why I’m not letting you out—you’re the glue that keeps your team together and you’re my best Toa. Think about it…if you left and never came back, the empire would be in chaos. A rebellion would sprout up from the ground! Don’t you remember the last time someone appeared here? That is why I let no one in…or out. Understand?”

 

            Tahu’s smile faded as he thought of the black, spiky robot terrorizing the Nuva's private meeting. “Well…I guess…”

 

            Helryx sighed. “Look. I know you’ve been sad. In fact, I’m willing to give you an upgrade if you halt your plans to get out.”

 

            Tahu jumped. “How did you—“

 

            “Please, Tahu. I know everything that goes on around here, and I have to find some way to control it. Look, I’ll even give you some golden armor and a powerful Fire Sword. Can you at least think about it?” Helryx pleaded.

 

            Tahu looked back up at Helryx. “I suppose so,” he grumbled.

 

            “Don’t look so down. I’d never give this chance to any other Toa—you’re my best one, remember?”

 

            “Well—“

 

            Helryx continued, standing up and opening the door for Tahu to leave. “Good. I’ll hear from you in five days’ time, all right?” She stuck out her hand; Tahu shook it and left the room. It was the last time they’d ever shake hands before…well…we will get to that, I suppose.

 

To Be Continued…

 

This was originally the prologue and Chapter 1 of the series but since I’ve made a prologue, this will serve as the first chapter from now on. Like the old one, Tahu visits Helryx here asking to leave the boundaries of the Empire, except this time the reader understands why Tahu wants to leave. The reader also gets a glimpse into Helryx’s personal thoughts, showing that she is more than what meets the eye. It’s actually funny, considering the fact that this new chappy is shorter than the old one but is more detailed. Finally, the last sentence foreshadows the end of the season (which is only five chapters compared to the usual ten).        

 


Edited by Toa of Winds, Apr 22 2014 - 08:03 PM.

  • 0

THE ASHES - The not-so-long-awaited-but-somewhat-appreciated sequel to The Fire Chronicles.

THE ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF TAHU - The rewritten-but-still-somewhat-original comedy that started it all.

Hey guys, sorry that it's been a while, but with the return of BIONICLE I couldn't resist coming back to my old home. Can't wait to reimmerse myself in this great place!

-Striker out

 

 

 


#3 Offline SkywardStriker16

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Posted Apr 22 2014 - 08:09 PM

Surprise!

 

Chapter 2: Defiance

 

In the Ko-Metru Apartment Building…

 

            *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

 

            The door opened slowly, and Tahu looked down at the old Turaga Nuju. Nuju looked up at the younger-looking (but older, in fact) Tahu Nuva. “What is it?” he whispered.

 

            “We’ve got to finish it. Now.”

 

            “What did you—darn it, young Toa. Get in here.”

 

In Nuju’s Lab…

 

            The lab was filled with several inventions, some of them including the aforementioned Mask of Immortality, several flasks of pizza protodermis, a custom-made and hacked Wii U and several blueprints for unmade inventions including an iWatch, Zelda Wii U and the Nintendo 1DS. But, out of anything Nuju had built, his best work had been the Transport, designed specifically to teleport out of the Empire’s boundaries. The technology used to build it was beyond anything the Empire itself could have thought of, with obsidian glass casing on the outside and gold, silver and platinum wires on the inside, powered by three Toa Stones smuggled back from the island of Mata Nui and the Nui Stone itself. The Transport was not exactly on the legal side of the spectrum, needless to say.

 

            “How much do we have left to do?” asked Tahu.

 

            “Just some wiring…and you need to figure out where to go,” Nuju replied, looking at a large pane of glass on the wall. He touched it, and the glass illuminated, showing the universe in its glory. “Now…where to go?”

 

            Tahu looked at a fiery planet. “How about there?” he said, pointing to it.

 

            Nuju clicked on it, and the camera zoomed onto it. A list of known history about the planet came up. “Let’s see…Tanker Station 22…mining area gone wrong…attack six years ago…oh, we can’t do that.”

 

            Tahu snorted. “What? But this place is perfect! It’s got the fire!”

 

            “Gali wouldn’t be in a fiery place. She could be in a jungle, though.” Nuju touched a forest planet, and the camera zoomed in on it. Bota Magna.

 

            “Bota…Magna…that name…” Tahu thought. “Any relation to Aqua Magna?”

 

            “There might be…” Nuju was deep in thought. “I’ll have to look into that. Though it would be better to do it when Gali gets back—“

 

            “You mean—“ Tahu corrected, “When I take her back. That is, unless, I do decide to stay.”

 

            Nuju stopped wiring and glanced at Tahu. “What? Why would you, after all the work we’ve done?”

 

            “Helryx offered me an upgrade.”

 

            Nuju’s eyes widened. He walked over to a lab stool and sat down, shaking his head. “Do you know…where she gets those upgrades from, young Toa?”

 

            “Where?”

 

            “Well, I have a theory…one that I can prove very easily. Haven’t you seen the dwindling number of Matoran in recent years? Well, I believe Helryx has been killing them—and reusing their bodies—for armor.”

 

            Tahu was shocked. “That couldn’t be—“

 

            “Think about it, young Toa. The fire in the Coliseum. Countless Matoran went up in flames, but their bodies remained and disappeared shortly after. A few days later, Makuta Teridax had his Antidermis housed in a new, powerful body…built from what, exactly?”

 

Tahu's heart sank. All his pride was being taken away from him, replaced by confusion…then hatred towards Helryx. He shook his head. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re insane.”

 

“If anyone’s insane, Tahu, it’s Helryx. She crowned herself empress of the Orderly Empire. She’s excluded herself from the Toa Code. And on top of all that, she thinks it perfectly normal to give you the body of a deceased Matoran. Is she insane?” Nuju went over to the window and gasped. “Oh, my. She’s worse…she’s an insane tyrant.”

 

Dark Hunters and Makuta were marching down the street, towards the apartment building. Tahu gasped. “WHAT? HOW DO THEY—“

 

Nuju facepalmed. “Darn it! I forgot to mention it—they just installed cameras in the building.”

 

Tahu’s head turned slowly to face Nuju. “…and why didn’t you tell me this before, you old coot?”

 

“Don’t blame me, young Toa. My mind can be a-forgetful at times. Ugh—but there is no time. Let’s get out of this room.”

 

In Nuju’s Apartment…

 

            Tahu put a small lock on the door to the lab, clicking it and throwing the key out an open window. “That should keep them out.”

 

            Nuju groaned. “Do you really think so? What if they find the key?”

 

            “…whoops.”

 

            “I have a better solution.” Nuju stood in front of the door and touched it with his Ice Pick. The door and its locks froze solid almost instantly.

 

            Tahu winced. “What…how…”

 

            “Don’t you ever call me an old coot again,” Nuju scolded.

 

            “…now I have guilt.”

 

            “Can we not make a Toy Story reference, young Toa?”

 

            “But this is a comedy! I have to make the readers laugh somehow!”

 

            “Well, you’re overdoing—“

 

            A wall exploded, sending Tahu and Nuju flying backwards. Helryx entered through the wall, followed by The Shadowed One, Teridax, and Axonn, dragging along a handcuffed Kopaka. “Finally! I found a way to get in and kill you at the perfect time! Thanks to your friend over here…”

 

            Kopaka struggled to get away from Helryx. “She’s lying! All I wanted to do was to see why there were a hundred and twenty Dark Hunters marching down the street…then I realized they were coming for you.”

 

            Tahu looked at Helryx, unsheathing his swords. “You’ve lied to me, you traitor. How dare you kill off innocent Matoran. How dare you put yourself at the helm of this empire. How dare you…not let me find Gali…and I’m beginning to understand why…”

 

            Helryx took out her mace, looking back at Tahu fiercely, but on the inside, she was scared. How does he know this? Did he get into the archives? Or even into the Control Center in Daxia Fortress? Or is it that blasted scientist…that’s it. I’m taking both of these cool dudes down.

 

            Wait, Tahu isn’t that cool, is he? Oh, whatever.

 

            “ATTACK!” Helryx screamed, letting out a ferocious battle cry and swinging her mace at Tahu’s sword.

 

            Thus began the adventures of Tahu.

 

To Be Continued…

 

            This chapter is about 500 words longer than its old counterpart is, and thus is considerably more detailed. For example, in the original chapter, the Transport seems to be in a one-room apartment, but in later chapters, there was a lab containing the Transport and then the regular room. This time around, the latter of two options is described in the chapter, which will provide for better consistency. Also, in the original chapter, it took Nuju six years to build the Transport, and Helryx found out naturally on her own instincts. In this chapter, the period has been shortened to less than five days. The Transport was already being worked on prior to the start of the comedy, probably about two to three years before, and Helryx finds out about Tahu’s defiance by pre-installed video cameras in the building. In my opinion, five years to find blueprints and one year to build the machine isn’t realistic at all, compared to three years building/almost finished. Finally: yes, I did put a reference to the old title of the old comedy in there.

 

This will be regularly updated every Friday, so check back for more this Friday!

~LTW


  • 0

THE ASHES - The not-so-long-awaited-but-somewhat-appreciated sequel to The Fire Chronicles.

THE ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF TAHU - The rewritten-but-still-somewhat-original comedy that started it all.

Hey guys, sorry that it's been a while, but with the return of BIONICLE I couldn't resist coming back to my old home. Can't wait to reimmerse myself in this great place!

-Striker out

 

 

 


#4 Offline SkywardStriker16

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Posted Apr 26 2014 - 10:07 PM

Excuse: my stupid brain forgot that I had to post a chapter yesterday :/

 

Chapter 3: Battle of Ko-Metru

In the Streets of Ko-Metru…

             “What…happened?” Onua mused, looking at the vandalized street.

            “I don’t know…whatever it was, though, it has to do with what Tahu called us for, right?”

            “No kidding, Pohatu. We should probably go to the apartment now—“
 

            “Or maybe he’s put us in the middle of GTA V,” Pohatu suggested.

            Onua facepalmed. “No…just no. Let’s get going.”

In Nuju’s Apartment…
 

            Tahu swung his sword, breaking the chains off Helryx’s mace. The spiked ball fell to the floor and made a large hole as it tumbled down to the third floor.

            Helryx tackled Tahu, kicking him in a fit of rage. TSO, Teridax and Axonn followed suit, leaving Kopaka and Nuju to take in the situation. Kopaka looked at Nuju. “What…how…”

            Nuju pulled at the handcuff’s chains with his Ice Pick, breaking it. “I have no clue…maybe you can help stop it.”

Kopaka grabbed his sword and shield from his back and pulled Axonn off the pile, slamming him in the face with his shield. “For Mata Nui’s sake, a pile isn’t going to stop Tahu. After all, it didn’t stop me, did it?”

Axonn growled and gripped his axe. “No one underestimates the power of Axxie. And, no one, especially you, slams his or her shield into Axxie’s face.” He ran for Kopaka.

TSO whistled, and a horde of Dark Hunters burst through the window. Knocking Axonn down, Guardian and Ancient surrounded Kopaka and put their weapons up to Kopaka’s neck. “You’re going down, Toa,” they both said, grinning.

Pohatu and Onua burst through the front door, followed by Lewa, a small army of Matoran and even a few Turaga. Lewa unleashed a blast of air at the pile, knocking Teridax, Helryx and TSO away from Tahu. Pohatu kicked Guardian and Ancient away from Kopaka while Onua dealt with incoming Makuta from the window.
 

Chaos had come to Nuju’s apartment.

In the Invention Room…

            Tahu panted as he locked the door shut…again, but he was still skeptical about being safe. “…this won’t hold, though…will it?” He looked around the lab, eventually finding a tube of SUPERGLUE and glued the door shut.

            He turned back to the Transport’s touch screen, looking at the various options. So…that mine is out of the question. And Bota Magna…seems all right, but is there a better option? Something hotter…huh, what is that?

            A large, round, tan desert planet caught Tahu’s eye. He clicked on it, and it zoomed in. Bara Magna. “It’s hot,” Tahu murmured. “And it’s basically empty. But what if…huh, anything is possible, I guess…” He selected the planet and the Transport fired up.

            Tahu walked in front of the Transport, ready to run in. Suddenly, he hesitated. Wait…what if I never see them again? I’ll never have been able to say goodbye to them…should I leave a note? Tahu laughed at the thought of it. “I’m sure I’ll see them in another chapter someday…”

Earlier in Onewa’s Apartment…

            Onewa jumped as the mace fell through Nuju’s floor and smashed his coffee table. He stood up, hobbled over to the hole and looked up. From what he could see, Helryx was playing a football game against Tahu and she’d just tackled him.
 

            He didn’t know how wrong he was…until it hit him, literally. A few minutes later, shards of glass and a beaten Kopaka fell through the hole and went crashing into Onewa’s apartment.

            Kopaka landed on top of Onewa, but quickly rolled off to ease the Turaga’s pains. “You…have no idea what is going on up there, do you?”
 

            Onewa grunted, trying to get up. Kopaka got to his feet and helped him up. “Thank you, young Toa. No…I suppose I don’t. Explain, please.”

            “Well, Tahu’s turned on Helryx for her being a tyrant and now she’s—“

            “Thank the Great Beings. You have no idea how long I’ve been telling Nuju to tell Tahu about that.”
 

            Kopaka looked confused. “…I beg your pardon, Turaga?”
 

            “The Matoran. Helryx…torturing them…you’ve got to help them.”
 

            “What? How could that make sense?” Kopaka asked.

            “Look, just trust me, will you? They’re our future Toa, and even if they aren’t, it ain’t right what Helryx does to them, whether she degrades their Rebuilt bodies or kills them for spare parts.”

            Kopaka was stunned. He was able to get two words out, albeit quietly. “Anything else?”

            Onewa went back to his couch and relaxed. “Stop fighting up there, will you? I’m trying to watch the new Hero Factory special!”

In the Invention Room…

            The lab door exploded, making Tahu jump. Helryx, TSO, and Teridax rushed in with Nuju and Kopaka trailing behind. “We…tried to stop them…but…” Kopaka gasped for breath.

            “Run, young Toa,” Nuju warned Tahu.

            Tahu stood still with his back to them. Slowly he turned around, and once facing forward he pointed his sword at Helryx’s face.
 

            Helryx chuckled. “You dare—oh, whatever. We’ll have you taken care of shortly. And this time, there’s nowhere to run,” she said, pointing her staff at the Transport. The machine shut off, and Helryx ran towards Tahu once more.
 

To Be Continued…

            Well, this chapter has been heavily updated from the original. First, it starts with Pohatu and Onua heading towards Nuju’s apartment (as Kopaka had sent them a distress call, but this isn’t mentioned in the chapter). The big army of rebels has been shortened to the other Nuva (minus Taka, he will come in later), about twenty brave Matoran, and a few of the Turaga (Whenua, Matau, Vakama); the Orderly Empire army has a few Dark Hunters come in at first, then the Makuta fly in through the window. Tahu also enters the invention room much earlier in the chapter this time, and is able to set the destination for the Transport. However, in this chapter Helryx deactivates the machine, while in the old chapter it is left on. I believe this will lead to a new conflict between the characters: instead of Tahu simply escaping, he has to turn on the Transport and escape, and with Helryx’s army in the way, that won’t be an easy task…


  • 0

THE ASHES - The not-so-long-awaited-but-somewhat-appreciated sequel to The Fire Chronicles.

THE ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF TAHU - The rewritten-but-still-somewhat-original comedy that started it all.

Hey guys, sorry that it's been a while, but with the return of BIONICLE I couldn't resist coming back to my old home. Can't wait to reimmerse myself in this great place!

-Striker out

 

 

 


#5 Offline SkywardStriker16

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Posted May 02 2014 - 07:00 PM

Chapter 4: Freedom

 

Tahu winced, then snapped around to counter Helryx’s swipe of her staff. Helryx was launched back into a lab table, knocking it over and sending pizza protodermis all over TSO.

 

“No! You fool! I’m allergic to pizza protodermis! Someone help me, my armor’s bubbling up!”

 

“I can help you,” Kopaka said, pushing TSO straight into a stasis tube. The door shut immediately behind the tyrant, leaving him to the gases and fluids that would eventually cause him to lose consciousness. “One down, two to go.”

 

“I’ll kill you for that,” Teridax grumbled, his spear pointed towards the Toa as he ran. Kopaka froze the floor beneath him, and the Makuta crashed to the ground, humiliated.

 

“One and a half down, one and a—“ Kopaka never finished his sentence, as Teridax grabbed his foot and sent the Toa falling onto the icy floor as well.

 

“Stop counting,” Teridax said. “And if you don’t, I’ll make you stop.”

 

Outside the Lab…

 

            Nuhrii shot his Kanoka Disk straight into the Bitil’s neck, slicing its head cleanly off. He watched its lifeless body drop outside into the mob of beings forming outside the apartment building. He was satisfied.

 

            Guardian knocked Nuhrii to the floor, and the Matoran’s Kanoka Disk Launcher flew out of his hands and out the window. “Your fight ends here,” the Dark Hunter scowled.

 

            Nuhrii was quick to react. He rolled just out of the way from Guardian’s energy beam and grabbed a shard of glass from the broken window. Aiming quickly but precisely, he threw the fragment right into Guardian’s eye.

 

            “Argh!” Guardian yelled, clenching his eye and dropping to the ground. “You—I’ll make you pay—“

 

            Onua shoved his blade into the Dark Hunter’s chest, and he was still. He looked at Nuhrii, impressed. “Impressive, Matoran. The job is not done yet, though.” He handed Nuhrii a new Kanoka Disk Launcher, as well as a short dagger. “Let’s get to it.”

 

Back in the Lab…

 

            “Now,” Teridax said, clenching the Turaga in his fist, “I’ve got you right where I want you.”

 

            Nuju tried to reach for his Ice Pick, which was not too far away on a lab table, along with the Mask of Immortality. Teridax moved further away from the table, slipping and falling with the Turaga in his grasp. “Ugh! So the tables have turned against you again!”

 

            Teridax grunted in pain as he tried to get up again. “Any way of removing this ice?”

 

            “Maybe if you give me my Ice Pick back.”

 

            “Ha! No chance of that happening. Especially because now—“ the Makuta stood up and pointed his staff at the Turaga. “I’m going to kill you.”

 

By the Transport

 

            Helryx dueled Kopaka fiercely while Tahu fired up the Transport. It was a very risky job—having to look back every five seconds, but after a few minutes everything was in order. He could be free.

 

            Tahu’s mind was racing. What if this malfunctions? What if Gali’s not there? What if—Kopaka—

 

            Kopaka flew off to the side as Helryx created a water whirlwind around her. It melted the ice and sent water streaming towards the Transport’s wired system.

 

            Oh, no. I can’t leave just yet, can I?

 

            Tahu held his Magma Swords out, channeling heat through the blades. Helryx’s water streams evaporated and the increased heat knocked her to the ground.

 

            Tahu turned to the purple vortex, swirling once again. The green light buzzed. He could be free.

 

            What he did not see—or hear, for that matter, was Helryx, fuming. “You can’t beat me!” she screamed, running up to Tahu, her staff poised to go right through his back.

 

 

Moments Earlier…

 

            “Stop!” Nuju said. He felt Teridax tremor slightly, then continued. “I have something that might help you.”

 

            Teridax winced, then smirked. “And what, pray tell, is this?”

 

            Nuju pointed over at the Mask of Immortality. “Well, it’ll help her—“ he said, pointing to Helryx falling to the ground from the heat wave, “because Tahu will never be able to kill her.”

            Teridax glanced at the Turaga, then Helryx getting up. “It’s worth a shot, I guess.” He ran over to the table with Nuju in his hand, seeing the mask in all of his glory. “Helryx!”

 

            Nuju snatched his Ice Pick from the table and knocked Teridax in the head with it. A thick sheet of ice encased all of the Makuta, and Nuju pushed him to the ground.

 

Two down, one to go, Nuju thought as he hurled the Mask of Immortality at Helryx.

 

            The mask hit Helryx right in the back of her head, causing her to stumble to the ground. Tahu whipped around to Nuju’s smiling face. “What…how…”

 

            “Go, young Toa. And make sure that no one bothers to follow you.”

 

            Tahu smiled, shooting flames up around him, then looking down at the shocked Toa of Water. “I did just beat you.” He backflipped into the portal as the fire raged in the lab.

 

            Nuju escaped first, dragging a moaning Kopaka behind him. Teridax melted and quickly followed suit, leaving Helryx in the burning lab.

 

            “Help! Somebody! I’m going to die! PLEASE!” She tried to summon some water. Nothing. She yelled more. Nothing. The flames raged on. The ceiling started to crumble. The purple vortex started to fade.

 

            Axonn walked into the lab, perfectly calm. “What happened her while Axxie was gone?”

 

            “You fool! Tahu escaped through that thing—“ she pointed at the dying vortex, gasping for breath.

 

            “And?”

 

            Helryx facepalmed. “Aren’t you going to go in there and stop him?”

 

            “…um.”

 

            “Well?”

 

            “…what does it matter to me?”

 

            “Fine. I’ll give you a raise.”

 

            “Done.” Dodging the flames, Axonn jumped through the portal moments before it was gone.

 

            “Anyone? Anyone? Oh, please help me! I haven’t been that bad of a ruler…right?”

 

            Her question was never answered, as the ceiling crumbled and crushed her. The flames raged on for a few more minutes until the apartment building’s lousy and faulty sprinkler system came on. The battle of Ko-Metru had ended.

 

To Be Continued.

 

This chapter is 168 words longer than the old one, which certainly isn’t as much as I expected, but whatever. This new chapter certainly explains itself a lot more than its predecessor, and also clarifies that Nuju was saving not only himself, but also Tahu (as in the old chapter Nuju was only saving himself but in a later interview he claims he was also saving Tahu and was on his side, not Helryx’s). Axonn is also absent for the whole chapter; he doesn’t come in until the last second when he saves Helryx’s butt. He’s a funny character, sort of childish but also very, very powerful. Nuhrii is also introduced in this chapter; another new part I’ve added to show his strength. He becomes a very important character in the next two seasons so I figured I’d tease him here. Also, I’ve just realized that I moved the Onewa-Kopaka scene from this chapter (in the old comedy) to the previous chapter here. I guess I’d made enough room for him to show up in the lab in this chapter, which he hadn’t done in TAoT. This is working out quite nicely here, isn’t it?

                       


  • 0

THE ASHES - The not-so-long-awaited-but-somewhat-appreciated sequel to The Fire Chronicles.

THE ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF TAHU - The rewritten-but-still-somewhat-original comedy that started it all.

Hey guys, sorry that it's been a while, but with the return of BIONICLE I couldn't resist coming back to my old home. Can't wait to reimmerse myself in this great place!

-Striker out

 

 

 


#6 Offline SkywardStriker16

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Posted May 09 2014 - 08:38 PM

Chapter 5: Epilogue

 

            I lost. I can’t believe it. I let him get away. He’s humiliated me for the rest of my days.

 

            Helryx opened her eyes, or at least she thought she had. She couldn’t tell, for it was pitch black. For a second she wondered if she was dead, but soon realized that she felt rubble against her mask. I’m pinned to the ground with rocks, she thought. Too bad I’m not a Toa of Stone. I’d be able to smash these rocks into the rebels’ faces.

 

In Onewa’s Apartment…

 

            Onewa’s apartment was roughly the size of Nuju’s Lab, so when Takanuva walked in, the apartment was basically packed with beings. Most of them were from the battle, all resting. Luckily, no Matoran had perished. The rest of the beings were all of the Turaga (excluding Nuju) and a few stragglers from the street.

 

            Onewa saw Takanuva and went over to shake his hand. “Hello, Toa of Light. You finished fixing my dark and dirty sewage pipes?”

 

            Taka chuckled. “You’re funny. Anyway, I heard the news. But there doesn’t seem to be any battle here.”

 

            Onewa sighed. “It was upstairs, young Toa. Can’t you see the hole in my ceiling?”

 

            “Oh. Sorry about that.”

 

            “I mean, I get it, you’ve been vacationing for the past week. But really, do you really need any more light than you already—“

 

            But Taka was already gone. Onewa shrugged. “I guess he doesn’t have a sense of humor. Oh well.”

 

In Nuju’s Lab…

 

            Teridax stood up, cringing from his scorched armor. Fortunately for him, he’d managed to stay alive by rolling on the floor the entire time. Stay in school, kids.

 

            “Crud. Does anyone have some cool water here?” Teridax called out. Other than the pile of rubble, a hidden Nuju, and TSO in the stasis tube, no one else remained in the lab.

 

            “Ugh. Looks like I’m going to have to free this guy.” He walked over to the stasis tube and punched it. He hurt his fist, and in retaliation kicked it. He hurt his foot.

 

            Ice formed over Teridax’s other foot, and the Makuta whipped his head around, but there was no one there. He crashed to the ground, cursing out the Turaga as he kicked over the stasis tube with his icy foot, crushing himself in the process.

 

            “CURSE YOU, TURAGA!”

 

            Is that Teridax? He seems to be in trouble. Maybe, if I can expand a molecule of water I can turn it into a strong gas and lift this pile of rocks!

 

            Wow, if people were reading my thoughts I’d probably sound like a dope right now.

 

In Nuju’s Apartment…

 

            “Hey, now, I don’t want to go in either, Pohatu,” Onua said. “But we need to. There’s still fools in there that need to be shut up.”

 

            “But come on!” Pohatu whined. “I want to play GTA V! They just came out with a new update!”

 

            “You’re kidding me, right?” a voice said behind them. Pohatu and Onua spun around. “Down here, Toa.”

 

            Nuhrii looked back up at the Toa, arms crossed, Kanoka Disk Launcher sheathed. Ever since his return to Metru Nui, he’d regained his memories and was returned to his old, pre-Cataclysm form. He was one of the best Matoran, and he said it was because he himself looked up to the best Toa…Tahu.

 

            “If you’re not going to go in, I might as well. Let me through, please,” Nuhrii requested.

 

            Pohatu chuckled. “Yeah…that’s not going to happen, little Matoran.”

 

            “I’m not little! I’m taller than all the other Matoran! And hey, you’re not the tallest Toa either.”

 

            “He does have a point,” Pohatu said to Onua. The Toa of Earth stepped aside, but Pohatu remained stationary.

 

            “Come on, Pohatu.”

 

            “I won’t!” Pohatu pouted.

 

            Onua sighed. “Fine. You can go home.”

 

            Pohatu grinned. “Yay!” He rushed out the door, nearly trampling Taka in the process. The frazzled Toa of Light stumbled in. “You let him go?”

 

            “I kinda had no choice. Nuhrii wants to investigate.”

 

            “You know, I get the feeling that Matoran will do great things one day.”

 

            “Me too. Let’s go in, then…”

 

In Nuju’s Lab…

 

            Lewa had entered through the broken window in the lab. “Wow, this is one giant-big mess,” he whispered. “Tahu, you’ve done it again, haven’t you?”

 

            His mind flashed back to their fight with the Bahrag. Tahu had fought very fiercely when they had broken out again, and just when the Bahrag were about to destroy the team, Tahu unleashed a golden flame that stopped them in their tracks. The flame bought enough time for the team to create another protodermis seal. It had been the Toa Nuva’s last mission before Gali disappeared.

 

            This flame, while not golden, was so large in size that nearly every inch of the room had been enflamed. Most of Nuju’s inventions were completely gone, although the golden gate of the Transport had somehow remained intact. Lewa stepped on the pile of rubble as he searched the rest of the room.

 

            Nuhrii, Taka, and Onua walked in while Lewa was searching. Nuhrii immediately saw Nuju and went over to his hiding place. “You’re okay?”

 

            “I’ve certainly been better,” the Turaga whispered. “But yes, at least I wasn’t scorched.”

 

            Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know…well now they know! The rocks shot up from the ground. Some pelted the stasis tube, breaking it, while the others rushed towards the Toa. They all dodged them perfectly, but the real menace was still there.

 

            Helryx stood up, dusted off her armor, then pointed her broken staff at the heroes. “None of you—are leaving. You’re all responsible for this mess.”

 

            “What mess?” Taka asked. “I only just got back from the Southern Continent!”

 

            “Oh, don’t play dumb with me, Toa. You heard about the info from Kopaka on his way out of the apartment.”

 

            “Oh…well…”

 

            “I don’t have a Mask of Psychometrics for nothing.”

 

            “Maybe it’s just because you’re a psycho?” TSO said, free from the stasis tube.

 

            “Too bad you’re worthless,” Teridax said, clubbing him in the head.

 

            Helryx ignored them. “Where’s the inventor?” She looked around. “Move, Matoran.”

 

            Nuhrii stayed.

 

            “I said, move, Matoran.”

 

Nuhrii still stayed, blocking out Helryx’s mind control.

 

“A pity. I guess we’re going to do this the hard way, and just after a battle too. Of course, I’m poised to win—“

 

“Here,” Nuju said, crawling out and standing tall (or as tall as he could be).

 

Helryx smiled. “Good. Now, where is that Toa?”

 

“I don’t know,” Nuju said honestly. “He never told me.”

 

Helryx didn’t believe him. “Utter crud. Don’t you lie to me.”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“Tell me, where is that machine capable of taking one to?”

 

Nuju shrugged. “I never checked. The power should be unlimited, though.”

 

“And where can I get one of these?”

 

“My arse.”

 

Helryx’s eyes flared. “I’ve had it with you.” She went over to the Turaga, plucked him from the floor, and carried him over to the window.

 

“What are you doing?!” Nuhrii yelled, trying to squirm out of TSO’s grasp.

 

Helryx smiled. “Showing you—“ she stared straight at the Matoran, “—who’s in charge.” Mercilessly, she extended her hand out the window and dropped the helpless inventor to his doom.

 

“Now…you will all bow down to me and tell me where Tahu went. Now.

 

In Bara Magna…

 

            Tahu awoke in the middle of a seemingly endless desert. Is this it? Did I make it? He felt the heat of the sun on him, and real heat coursed through his body for the first time in forever. He unleashed a wave of fire on the sand. The flames danced more than had ever seen them dance before, and were so intense that they turned the sand into glass. Tahu picked up the shard, seeing himself. His mask glowed gold for a moment, then faded back to red.

 

            I am free. And the others? I’ve given them a chance now as well, I guess. They certainly don’t have it yet, but maybe…just maybe…I’ll be able to return one day and set things straight for the last time.

 

End of Season 1      

 

Let’s make this one short and sweet. Changes? Not many, actually. Everyone ends up in Onewa’s apartment except the Toa Nuva, the villains and Nuhrii. Nuju returns to the lab once he has made sure Kopaka is all right and hides when he sees Teridax stirring. Unlike in the original chapter, where he is completely helpless, Nuju actually messes with the villains a little more before Helryx drops him out the window. She arrests Lewa, Taka, Nuhrii and Onua for having “helped” Tahu escape, but she will be on the hunt for Kopaka, who was the main witness of the battle and Tahu’s closest friend.


  • 0

THE ASHES - The not-so-long-awaited-but-somewhat-appreciated sequel to The Fire Chronicles.

THE ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF TAHU - The rewritten-but-still-somewhat-original comedy that started it all.

Hey guys, sorry that it's been a while, but with the return of BIONICLE I couldn't resist coming back to my old home. Can't wait to reimmerse myself in this great place!

-Striker out

 

 

 





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