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Island of Dume (OLD)

book island of doom piraka archives

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3 replies to this topic

#1 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

Lewa0111 Nuva
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Posted Nov 04 2013 - 10:36 AM

Another old comedy for you all! This one was also released back in '06, a little later than TNI. It is a spoof of the first Bionicle Legends novel, Island of Doom, but was eventually abandoned when the idea for QFTCJP/Comedicle came around. Of my early comedies, this one is probably the least awful, but that isn't saying a whole lot. Ah, well, here it is anyway.

 

(NOTE: Everything below this point is copied verbatim from the original)

 

Well, this is my latest comedy, and the first ever spoof of Bionicle Legends#1! WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS.

Since this is never been done before, it should be original! And so...

CHARACTERS--Island of Metru Nui

THE OLD GEEZERS (I mean, Turaga)

Dume--Elder of Metru Nui, who's name happens to sound like 'Doom', and was once impersonated by Makuta...blah blah blah...you know that already.

Nuju, Vakama, Nokama, Onewa, Whenua, Matau--Former Toa Morons--er, METRU, and Turaga of the villages of the island of Metru Nui (except Vakama, whose home got blown up by Rahkshi)

Vakama: :crying:

Nuju: Hey, Lewa0111! How come we don't get our own bio things?

Lewa0111: I don't know, ask GregF.

GregF: :rolleyes:

THE MATORAN

Jaller--A guy with a Lhikan's Hau, he now serves as Captain of the (nonexistent) Ta-Metru Guard, and is also extremely dumb (but not as dumb as Krekka)

Krekka: Muuuuuuuuhhhhhh... :drooling:

Nidhiki: It's 'Duh', not 'Muh'!

Krekka: Muuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh... :drooling:


Matoro--Translator of Turaga Nuju, and a nerd.

THE TOA

Tahu: That's Toa NUVA!

Takanuva--Toa of Weirdness

Tahu Nuva--Toa Nuva of Fire

Gali Nuva--Toa Nuva of Water

Pohatu Nuva--Toa Nuva of Stone

Onua--

Reader #1: Sheesh, we get the idea! '__ Nuva, Toa Nuva of __' every time! Just get to the book!

Lewa0111: Okay, okay...

ISLAND OF VOYA NUI

THE MATORAN--

Garan--Onu-Matoran leader of the resistance

Balta: Hey! Aren't the red guys supposed to be the leader?

Garan: Yeah, but Lego is trying to get the other ones to sell better.

Balta: Huh?

Garan: Never mind.

Balta: Whatever.

Kazi--Ko-Matoran who is also a nerd.

Velika--Po-Matoran inventor(and also the first non-carver Po-Matoran)

Dalu--Ga-Matoran Fighter

Piruk--Le-Matoran Crybaby

THE PIRATES PIRAKA

Zaktan--Green leader of the Piraka , made up of thousands of Rice Krispies ™

Hakann--Crimson-armored Piraka, who likes to jump into lava

Reidak--Ebon (which isn't really a color) -armored Piraka, who is dumbER than Krekka and Jaller combined

Reidak: Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... :drooling:


Lewa0111: Exactly.

Avak--Tan-armored Piraka

Avak: Hey! They get all kinds of cool-sounding colors, and I get 'Tan'? What kind of cool color is that? 3 LETTERS, people! Come on!

Lewa0111: Shut up, or I'll stuff you in a Dumpster.

Avak: :ziplip:


Thok--White-armored Piraka who likes to bite boulders in half for fun.

Vezok: That's my line!

Lewa0111: Get out of here.

Narrator: And so, that was how Vezok got removed from the Character List.

Reader #2: Really? I have always wondered about that...

 

Chapter 0: Introduction.

*At a private conference in the middle of nowhere*

Tahu: Am I in trouble? I hope not!

Gali: You big crybaby, you're not in trouble? We just saved the island!

Tahu: I'm in trouble! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Gali: Whatever.

Kopaka: ...

Onua: You know, you're allowed to say other stuff besides, '...'

Kopaka: ...

Dume: SHUT UP!


Kopaka: ...

Dume: That means YOU, Kopaka!

Kopaka: :ziplip:


Dume: Thank you. One thousand years ago, the Great Spirit Metru Nui--

Nokama: It's MATA Nui!

Dume:
Yeah. I knew that, I was just...testing you!

Lewa: Sure...

Dume: Anyway, it is said that you Toa Nuva are destined to one day awaken Met--er...MATA Nui and restore peace to the galaxy.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Hey! That's the Jedi mission! Go find your own!

Dume: Where'd you come from?

Obi-Wan: :???:


*Obi-wan disappears*

Dume: Okay, now that that's over, I have studied the stars (which are really not there, since we are underground) and have consulted with Turaga Nuju, who agrees with my findings.

Vakama: He's the only one...

Dume: :glare:
ANYWAY, he'll tell you now.

Nuju: Click click whistle beep weird sound!

Pohatu: Umm...why did he say 'weird sound'?

Matoro: Because that's the way GregF made it. Anyway, he says that the stars say...GALI HAS A CRUSH ON LEWA?!?!?!?!?

Gali: :mad:


SFX: SLAP!

Matoro: AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!1!!one1 *flies out the window*

Dume: Anyway, that wasn't what I was talking about. I meant the other one, *in monotone* the one about Mata Nui dying.

All Toa: :OMG:
WHAT?

Dume: So? It's been in METRU NUI TODAY ™ for weeks!

GregF: There are no magazines in BIONICLE! Except the Lego Magazine. You can read that.

Lewa0111: Get out of here before I sic my lawyer on you.

GregF: AAHHHH! Lawyers! RUN! :fear:
*hides in a corner*

Lewa0111: I love doing that.

Gali: Anyway, what can we do to save him?

Dume: Just get rid of the lawyers.

Gali: I meant Mata Nui.


SFX: SLAP!

Dume: AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! *lands on top of Matoro*

Lewa: Great. Now we don't know how to save him. I'm mad at you.

Gali: No, don't be! I'll undo it.

!PLAS :XFS

*orotaM fo pot no sdnal* !hhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA :emuD

Gali:
Is that better?

Lewa: Of course!

Dume: SHUT UP!! As I was saying, all you have to do is go to the Island of Doom and find a Mask of Light.

Takanuva: I found it! *pulls mask off his face, and turns back into Takua* Aww!

Dume: I meant LIFE, not LIGHT.

Takanuva: *puts mask back on* Is this it? *holds up LIFE board game*

Dume: Get him out of here.

Gali: Okay! :D


SFX: SLAP!

Takanuva: AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!! *lands on top of Matoro and Dume's shadow*

Everyone: Thank you!

Tahu: Anyway, what happens if we get an owie? Those hurt! *trips* Mommy! Owowowowowowow! Wait--I don't have a Mommy! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Gali: You big baby!

Tahu: WAAAAAAAHHHH!!

Dume: Do not cry for this task, Tahu. The stars are there for all to see, including your nonexistent mommy.

Lewa: Tell Takanuva to come with us!

Dume: No! If Takanuva goes with you, he will annoy you to death before you reach the mask! He must stay here and annoy me instead.

Toa: :)

Next: Chapter One!

 


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Dec 15 2013 - 07:00 AM.

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My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 
ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)
ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

#2 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

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Posted Dec 15 2013 - 07:03 AM

Chapter 1! (finally!)

*On Voya Nui*

Lewa: Hey! How come we went from us to a totally random island that has nothing to do with the story so far?

Lewa0111: Because GregF wrote it like that.

Lewa: Oh, okay.

Lewa0111: And you're not here!

Lewa: Aww! :(
*Lewa disappears*

*Garan is walking around*

Garan: I'm thirsty!

GregF: Hey! Bionicles don't drink water!

Garan: They don't? Then explain this scene, of me finding water!

GregF: Umm...

Garan: HYPOCRITE!

GregF: :crying:


Garan: Anyway...Ooh! *sees canister* A canister! I wonder if an evil Piraka will come out, join up with 5 others, pretend to be Toa, then enslave everybody but me and 5 other Matoran with their zamor spheres! Then maybe some Toa Inika will come and save us! ...Never mind, that's stupid.

*Garan goes to the canister and Hakann comes out*

Hakann: I'm Hakann, Toa of Fire!

Garan: Yeah right. What big teeth you have!

Hakann: All the better to smile with!

Garan: And what big eyes you have!

Hakann: *fries Rahi with his eyes* All the bettter to make Kikanalo stew with!

Garan: And what big...weird...spiny...THING you have!

Hakann: All the better to make me unable to turn my head like the other Bionicles!

Garan: :blink:


Hakann: Let's go to the village.

Garan: Okay! :D


*They go to the village*

*Somewhere else, Piruk is running*

Piruk: AAH! I'm running!

Zaktan: Ooookay...


Piruk: AAH! Scary green monster! :crying:

Zaktan: Toa Zaktan. Here to help.

Piruk: :crying:


Zaktan: Crybaby!

Piruk: :crying:


Zaktan: Let's go.

Piruk: :crying:


Zaktan: SHUT UP!!one!!111!1!!monroe!!1

*piruk runs away*

*At a canister*

Vezok: I'm stuck! HAKANN! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Thok: He's busy.

Vezok: THOK! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

*Thok shoots him with his ice gun*

Vezok: AVAK! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Avak: Pie!

Vezok: AVAK! I'll give you a pie if you get me out of here!

Avak: Pie! *opens Vezok's canister*

Vezok: Here you go.

Avak: Pie!!

Vezok: Let's go.

Avak: :usa:


Vezok: :blink:

THE END


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My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 
ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)
ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

#3 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

Lewa0111 Nuva
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Posted Feb 28 2014 - 12:38 PM

Chapter 2 :voyanui: (Cool! I finally found it!)

*Back with the Toa Nuva...*

Tahu: Hey! What's with the random island that has no connection to us whatsoever?

Lewa0111: I already answered that question. Lewa asked it last chapter. Now chill!

Kopaka: Chill? Okay! :D
*freezes Gahu*

Tahu: HEY! :burnmad:
*burns Kopaka*

Kopaka: spinsmile.gif


Dume: You guys are weird.

Kopaka: spinsmile.gif


Dume: Whatever. Let's keep going.

Lewa: This place smells like brussels sprouts. I HATE brussels sprouts! EEw!

Everyone except Lewa and Kopaka: :blink:


Kopaka: spinsmile.gif

Onua: Will he ever stop doing that?

Pohatu: I doubt it.

Lewa: Hey! When is International Lewa Day?

Tahu: Wow, that just came out of nowhere.

Lewa: Seriously, when is it?

Lewa0111: I don't know, shut up!

Lewa: :ziplip:


Gali: Are we there yet?

Dume: No.

Tahu: Are we there yet?

Dume: No.

Lewa: Are we there yet?

Dume: No!

Onua: Are we there yet?

Dume: No!

Pohatu: Are we there yet?

Dume: NO!

Kopaka: spinsmile.gif
*Translation: Are we there yet?*

Dume: thumbs-up.gif
*Translation: NO!!*

Everyone else: :blink:

 

Vakama: Are we there yet?

Dume: Yes.

Vakama: REALLY?

Dume: No.

*Five days later...*

Nokama: Hey! Why'd we stop?

Dume: Because we're there.

Tahu: Hey! Those cylinders look like the ones we came in...Do you think they were also made in China?

Gali: :glare:


Pohatu: I'm not getting into one of those things again...I remember what happened last time.

Onua: You do? You were only 1 years old!

*FLASHBACK*

*Pohatu is a baby and is sucking his thumb and holding a rattle in a canister*

*END FLASHBACK*

Everyone: Aww...

Pohatu: Okay, maybe I don't remember...

Onua: Did we come here from our journey above?

Dume: Not here--

GregF: Hey! You can't give away that info yet! It's not authorized!

Dume: But I stole your story bible!

GregF: :crying:


Lewa0111: I'll send my lawyers!

GregF: :fear:
AAH! LAWYERS! RUN!! *runs to Australia where he grows a beard and changes his name to Craig Varshtey*

Kopaka: spinsmile.gif

 

Matau: Oookay…well, we’d like to stay and chat, but—heh heh—we’ve gotta go!

Nokama: Stop quoting WOS!

Matau: Sorry.

Dume: As I was saying, you may have come here from somewhere much like this one.

Onua: Wait a sec—I thought we fell to Mata Nui from the heavens!

Dume: Well, even GregF makes mistakes sometimes.

Onua: Oh.

Dume: *whips out ticket booth* Now, step right up and get your tickets here! One way trip to Voya Nui, or the Daggers of Death! No turning back, complimentary Mask of Life with trip!

 

:miru: Lewa0111 :miru:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Feb 28 2014 - 12:40 PM.

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My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 
ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)
ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!

#4 Offline Lewa0111 Nuva

Lewa0111 Nuva
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Posted Sep 22 2014 - 01:16 AM

:voyanui: Chapter 3 :voyanui:

Lewa: STOP COPYING THE BOOK!!

Lewa0111: This is the book.

Lewa: Oh.

*Back to Voya Nui...*

Lewa: Hey! What's with the--

*I use author powers to shut him up*

Lewa0111: Whew! That was fun!

Balta: Avak! Hey! Are you building a zamor sphere launcher that can be used to fire an evil living virus that can enslave all the Matoran?

Avak: :huh:
 No, what made you think of that?

Balta: This! *Holds up the story bible*

Avak: Hey! Gimme that! *locks him in a prison, but the story bible goes flying into the water*

GregF: :crying:


Balta: Let me out of here!!

Avak: Not unless you give me some pie!

Balta: I don't have any pie! NOOOOOOOOO!!

Avak: Then too bad.

*Somwhere else...*

Garan: Umm...why are you playing Tree vs. Rock?

Thok: Because I don't have anything better to do.

Garan: Can I play?

Thok: :evilgrin:
 Sure! *hits Garan with a bunch of rocks*

Garan: Ouch! Why'd you do that?

Thok: I'm a Toa, aren't I? It's my job to hit Matoran with rocks! :D


Garan: Umm...you're a Toa of Ice, not Stone.

Thok: WHAT? Oh, Kuma-Nui!

Garan: :blink:


Thok: So, why are you Matoran here, anyway?

Garan: Balta says it's because there's a secret Mask of Life hidden here somewhere, and six Toa Inika are gonna come and find it, but I don't believe that. What I think is that we were part of a big giant marshmallow in the sky, but someone decided to roast it over a fire. The marshmallow began to melt, and Voya-Nui began to break off and float around in the sea. We've lived here ever since, because marshmallows taste good! :P


Thok: You have some strange problems. I'd believe your friend Balta, if I were you.

Garan: He's crazier than I am!

Thok: This place just keeps getting more wacko with each minute.

*Somewhere else entirely...*

Lewa: Mmm mmm mmm mmm! *Translation: Let me guess...Dalu?*

Lewa0111: Shut up.

Lewa: Mmm mmm! *Translation: I can't do anything else!*

Dalu: I'm sorry to bother you, Toa Vezok, but I need some advice. Yesterday I accidentally touched Piruk, and he started crying! What should I do?

Vezok: Hey, if you wanted advice, you should go to Ask Matau!
 or one of those other 'Ask' comedies. But there's no 'Ask Vezok', so there! Leave me alone!

Dalu: Thanks! *jumps out of this comedy, travels along the comedy page, and jumps into Ask Matau*

Vezok: Geez. She's the most annoying Matoran this side of the island!

Piruk: :crying:


Vezok: Except him. Ugh!

:miru: Lewa0111 :miru:


Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Sep 22 2014 - 01:17 AM.

  • 0
My Script Comedies: | The Nuva Inn Remake | Ask Matau! Remake (ACCEPTING QUESTIONS!) |
My Prose Comedies: | The BZ-Nui Hack Wars | Mata Nova |

 
ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nuva Inn is BACK IN BUSINESS!! (See my blog for more info on my writing projects)
ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Looking for voice actors and artists/animators for an upcoming video project! PM me if interested!




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