Another old comedy for you all! This one was also released back in '06, a little later than TNI. It is a spoof of the first Bionicle Legends novel, Island of Doom, but was eventually abandoned when the idea for QFTCJP/Comedicle came around. Of my early comedies, this one is probably the least awful, but that isn't saying a whole lot. Ah, well, here it is anyway.
(NOTE: Everything below this point is copied verbatim from the original)
Well, this is my latest comedy, and the first ever spoof of Bionicle Legends#1! WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS.
Since this is never been done before, it should be original! And so...
CHARACTERS--Island of Metru Nui
THE OLD GEEZERS (I mean, Turaga)
Dume--Elder of Metru Nui, who's name happens to sound like 'Doom', and was once impersonated by Makuta...blah blah blah...you know that already.
Nuju, Vakama, Nokama, Onewa, Whenua, Matau--Former Toa Morons--er, METRU, and Turaga of the villages of the island of Metru Nui (except Vakama, whose home got blown up by Rahkshi)
Nuju: Hey, Lewa0111! How come we don't get our own bio things?
Lewa0111: I don't know, ask GregF.
Jaller--A guy with a Lhikan's Hau, he now serves as Captain of the (nonexistent) Ta-Metru Guard, and is also extremely dumb (but not as dumb as Krekka)
Nidhiki: It's 'Duh', not 'Muh'!
Matoro--Translator of Turaga Nuju, and a nerd.
Tahu: That's Toa NUVA!
Takanuva--Toa of Weirdness
Tahu Nuva--Toa Nuva of Fire
Gali Nuva--Toa Nuva of Water
Pohatu Nuva--Toa Nuva of Stone
Reader #1: Sheesh, we get the idea! '__ Nuva, Toa Nuva of __' every time! Just get to the book!
Lewa0111: Okay, okay...
ISLAND OF VOYA NUI
Garan--Onu-Matoran leader of the resistance
Balta: Hey! Aren't the red guys supposed to be the leader?
Garan: Yeah, but Lego is trying to get the other ones to sell better.
Garan: Never mind.
Kazi--Ko-Matoran who is also a nerd.
Velika--Po-Matoran inventor(and also the first non-carver Po-Matoran)
Zaktan--Green leader of the Piraka , made up of thousands of Rice Krispies ™
Hakann--Crimson-armored Piraka, who likes to jump into lava
Reidak--Ebon (which isn't really a color) -armored Piraka, who is dumbER than Krekka and Jaller combined
Avak: Hey! They get all kinds of cool-sounding colors, and I get 'Tan'? What kind of cool color is that? 3 LETTERS, people! Come on!
Lewa0111: Shut up, or I'll stuff you in a Dumpster.
Thok--White-armored Piraka who likes to bite boulders in half for fun.
Vezok: That's my line!
Lewa0111: Get out of here.
Narrator: And so, that was how Vezok got removed from the Character List.
Reader #2: Really? I have always wondered about that...
Chapter 0: Introduction.
*At a private conference in the middle of nowhere*
Tahu: Am I in trouble? I hope not!
Gali: You big crybaby, you're not in trouble? We just saved the island!
Tahu: I'm in trouble! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Onua: You know, you're allowed to say other stuff besides, '...'
Dume: SHUT UP!
Dume: That means YOU, Kopaka!
Dume: Thank you. One thousand years ago, the Great Spirit Metru Nui--
Nokama: It's MATA Nui!
Dume: Yeah. I knew that, I was just...testing you!
Dume: Anyway, it is said that you Toa Nuva are destined to one day awaken Met--er...MATA Nui and restore peace to the galaxy.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Hey! That's the Jedi mission! Go find your own!
Dume: Where'd you come from?
Dume: Okay, now that that's over, I have studied the stars (which are really not there, since we are underground) and have consulted with Turaga Nuju, who agrees with my findings.
Vakama: He's the only one...
Dume: ANYWAY, he'll tell you now.
Nuju: Click click whistle beep weird sound!
Pohatu: Umm...why did he say 'weird sound'?
Matoro: Because that's the way GregF made it. Anyway, he says that the stars say...GALI HAS A CRUSH ON LEWA?!?!?!?!?
Matoro: AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!1!!one1 *flies out the window*
Dume: Anyway, that wasn't what I was talking about. I meant the other one, *in monotone* the one about Mata Nui dying.
All Toa: WHAT?
Dume: So? It's been in METRU NUI TODAY ™ for weeks!
GregF: There are no magazines in BIONICLE! Except the Lego Magazine. You can read that.
Lewa0111: Get out of here before I sic my lawyer on you.
GregF: AAHHHH! Lawyers! RUN! *hides in a corner*
Lewa0111: I love doing that.
Gali: Anyway, what can we do to save him?
Dume: Just get rid of the lawyers.
Gali: I meant Mata Nui.
Dume: AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! *lands on top of Matoro*
Lewa: Great. Now we don't know how to save him. I'm mad at you.
Gali: No, don't be! I'll undo it.
*orotaM fo pot no sdnal* !hhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA :emuD
Gali: Is that better?
Lewa: Of course!
Dume: SHUT UP!! As I was saying, all you have to do is go to the Island of Doom and find a Mask of Light.
Takanuva: I found it! *pulls mask off his face, and turns back into Takua* Aww!
Dume: I meant LIFE, not LIGHT.
Takanuva: *puts mask back on* Is this it? *holds up LIFE board game*
Dume: Get him out of here.
Takanuva: AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!! *lands on top of Matoro and Dume's shadow*
Everyone: Thank you!
Tahu: Anyway, what happens if we get an owie? Those hurt! *trips* Mommy! Owowowowowowow! Wait--I don't have a Mommy! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Gali: You big baby!
Dume: Do not cry for this task, Tahu. The stars are there for all to see, including your nonexistent mommy.
Lewa: Tell Takanuva to come with us!
Dume: No! If Takanuva goes with you, he will annoy you to death before you reach the mask! He must stay here and annoy me instead.
Next: Chapter One!
Edited by Lewa0111 Nuva, Dec 15 2013 - 07:00 AM.