Onaku Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Sounds good to me. Just make sure not to overwork yourself, alright? Can't wait for the next chapter, so best of luck. Quote BZPRPG Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geardirector Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 (edited) Well, I guess it's about time I gave my two cents: I'm really enjoying this world you've created. I've done similar things myself, but I've never managed something on this grand of a scale, it's very impressive. The Matoran cultures you've invented make a lot of sense and are well thought out, I like the Ba- and Ce-Matoran especially, with a really interesting sci-fi and mystic vibe respectively that I hope to see more of The Fa-Matoran missing is a bit odd, and I don't really have any suggestions for how to make them work. Hopefully someone else can come up with something. The art style: It's very simple, but nice to look at, although at times it gets a little too simplistic. But overall I find the illustrations pleasing and well drawn. The story: I'm rather enjoying it. It went in an unexpected direction, and I think it's quite a bold move to have Matoran characters be most of the focus now in the beginning, and I'm enjoying it even more for that. I seriously love your take on Ahkmou. He's clearly one of the smartest people in the story so far, and for some reason I actually laughed out loud upon discovering Ahkmou liked his nickname because it was "Ghoulish and Edgy" Banhi and Calor have a good dynamic, and Mieli's an extra mysterious sort, and she's drawn particularly well. On the wole, I'm really enjoying this so far. Good work, Nick. Edited March 23, 2014 by Geardirector 1 Quote BZPRPG Profiles Nuparu-Ferron-Mar-Zelvin-Wiremu-Farzan-Mako-Krex-Tamachan-??? Akiri Nuparu Posts: 1. 2. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iver Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 The Fa-Matoran missing is a bit odd, and I don't really have a lot of suggestions for how to make them work. Hopefully someone else can come up with something. I suggested once that they be nomadic, which would explain why they're not on the map, and that they're explorers or archaeologists or something. 1 Quote "You humans are absurd, Rook. Furious when you're not in control, terrified when you are. Pull it together." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onaku Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Good old Jovan looking out for his people. But yeah, I'll have to agree with what Gear says. Keep doing good! Quote BZPRPG Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geardirector Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 I suggested once that they be nomadic, which would explain why they're not on the map, and that they're explorers or archaeologists or something. Given that Fa-Matoran have a natural sense of direction, this actually makes a fair bit of sense. 1 Quote BZPRPG Profiles Nuparu-Ferron-Mar-Zelvin-Wiremu-Farzan-Mako-Krex-Tamachan-??? Akiri Nuparu Posts: 1. 2. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 (edited) Sounds good to me. Just make sure not to overwork yourself, alright? Can't wait for the next chapter, so best of luck. Oh, this is easy. If I was JUST working on this stuff, I could churn in at least two chapters a week, maybe three. It's just that I have so many other projects I need to find time for, with this essentially being a side project... so yeah... Well, I guess it's about time I gave my two cents: I'm really enjoying this world you've created. I've done similar things myself, but I've never managed something on this grand of a scale, it's very impressive. The Matoran cultures you've invented make a lot of sense and are well thought out, I like the Ba- and Ce-Matoran especially, with a really interesting sci-fi and mystic vibe respectively that I hope to see more of The Fa-Matoran missing is a bit odd, and I don't really have any suggestions for how to make them work. Hopefully someone else can come up with something. The art style: It's very simple, but nice to look at, although at times it gets a little too simplistic. But overall I find the illustrations pleasing and well drawn. The story: I'm rather enjoying it. It went in an unexpected direction, and I think it's quite a bold move to have Matoran characters be most of the focus now in the beginning, and I'm enjoying it even more for that. I seriously love your take on Ahkmou. He's clearly one of the smartest people in the story so far, and for some reason I actually laughed out loud upon discovering Ahkmou liked his nickname because it was "Ghoulish and Edgy" Banhi and Calor have a good dynamic, and Mieli's an extra mysterious sort, and she's drawn particularly well. On the wole, I'm really enjoying this so far. Good work, Nick. Thank you. Bionicle defined my childhood, and I wanted to recapture the feel that things like the MNOG had, but make the Matoran themselves different and distinct enough for their new culture to stand on its own two feet. Still, to get that oldschool feel, I felt it was necessary for the story to be centered around the Matoran themselves, the little people... at least for a while. The story IS going somewhere, we're just having a bit of a rocky start. As for my style... I do have a simple way of doing things. I just try not to clutter things up with any more detail than is necessary, and to make every line count. It's that approach that's inspired character designs like Mieli's. I admit, though, that I have a much easier time drawing individual characters than sprawling environments or crowds of people. Crowds are the hardest thing for me to draw. Ahkmou's very quickly become everyone's favorite character, it seems... and it isn't hard to see why. He connects this story to the good ol' days. He REMEMBERS, so... he's basically us. He's bitter about losing what he knows, but so are we, at least a little bit. Whenever he's frustrated of confused, we share that feeling. We're not even just sympathizing with him feeling that, because it's not just happening to him, WE feel it directly. We've known him from the beginning, so of course we'd connect with him on a deeper level than any of the other Matoran introduced in this story. He's just an old soul who's tired of how things have gone for him. His story isn't so much about finding redemption as it is about finding some way to make it through the day... such as obsessively carving memorials of people he knew. That said... I hope the new characters I've whipped up for this story are interesting and likeable on their own, and don't end up overshadowed by a character that is ultimately not mine. Time will tell. I like your reaction to that bit. XD I wanted to give this story "bite," but still make it fun, and yes, a tad silly. I've been collecting trade paperbacks of IDW's "More Than Meets The Eye" comics lately, and... well, I won't deny that its writers are influencing me quite a bit. Ahkmou making our "peace" sign a coupla' chapters ago, and it actually meaning something BAD to the Matoran by sheer coincidence, was inspired by that kind of humor. The Fa-Matoran missing is a bit odd, and I don't really have a lot of suggestions for how to make them work. Hopefully someone else can come up with something. I suggested once that they be nomadic, which would explain why they're not on the map, and that they're explorers or archaeologists or something. I do have something planned for the Fa-Matoran at this point. I guess their absence just never seemed as strange to me as it does to other people. I never made a point to include EVERY tribe, I just happened to find uses for most of them. Edited March 24, 2014 by NickonAquaMagna 1 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onaku Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Sounds good to me. Just make sure not to overwork yourself, alright? Can't wait for the next chapter, so best of luck. Oh, this is easy. If I was JUST working on this stuff, I could churn in at least two chapters a week, maybe three. It's just that I have so many other projects I need to find time for, with this essentially being a side project... so yeah... I know, that's why I said: Don't overwork yourself. Quote BZPRPG Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted March 30, 2014 Author Share Posted March 30, 2014 Chapter 6 is online! http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-6-443777744 This one's pretty creepy... Sorry there aren't a lot of illustrations in this one. There just weren't that many things for me to draw, this time. That said, I did try to make the illustrations atmospheric and even a tad nightmarish later on. If each chapter had its own title, I guess I'd call this one "darkness," as generic as that sounds.So yeah, the Matoran have flash lights, now.Oh, Ahkmou...Despite the implications of at least SOME of the Turaga being involved in some conspiracy, and that, being at the center of modern Matoran society, you'd think Taipu would be right up in that... I think we can trust him with Mieli. Taipu's the greatest.There's more to Tenius' story about Taipu than it being a nostalgic reference for oldschool Bionicle fans to get a kick out of. It's foreshadowing something about his character that will be brought up later on. But anyway...That's it for now. See you in two weeks with chapter 7. Feedback is appreciated. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geardirector Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 (edited) Hmmm... this is quite the mystery we have here. If I'm not mistaken Tenius posited that something big basically tunneled through the island, and now he and Calor are in that tunnel... something big indeed. So far you're having us follow the story at three separate points, with Ahkmou, Calor and Mieli being the ones to drive their part of the story forward, to juggle the different viewpoints can be very hard, but I think you do it quite well, so props for that. I spotted some inconsistencies, though. For example: "If he was lucky enough not to fall into the sea, he could make his way along the cost until he reached Su-Wahi, but... no, he'd probably just zip past it and never know it" I'm going to go ahead and assume that's supposed to be Su-Koro, rather than Su-Wahi. Also, Tenius' langague in this seems a bit... unrefined? "I.. don't have an answer to that. I don't have an answer to any of this. Like I keep saying... it's just really, really weird" "Taipu insists that it was only thanks to some other guy that he was able to do it, but he always short-changes himself" The bolded parts indicate where I think Tenius' language regresses a bit; this guy is an accountant, no? He's meek, orderly and probably more intellectually inclined than your average Onu-Matoran, or so he seems at least. Just a thought. These are really just nitpicks, though, they don't break the story or flow in any serious manner. I also noticed you played around a little with the shape of Taipu's mask; those vents on the side and the hexagonal mouthpiece makes it look more "industrial", much like Tenius' Akaku, I like it, it makes sense given how much time Taipu spends in the mines. One the whole, I think it's another good installment. Nice work, Nick, and I eagerly await Ferrum's bio. Edited March 30, 2014 by Geardirector Quote BZPRPG Profiles Nuparu-Ferron-Mar-Zelvin-Wiremu-Farzan-Mako-Krex-Tamachan-??? Akiri Nuparu Posts: 1. 2. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted March 30, 2014 Author Share Posted March 30, 2014 (edited) I spotted some inconsistencies, though. For example: "If he was lucky enough not to fall into the sea, he could make his way along the cost until he reached Su-Wahi, but... no, he'd probably just zip past it and never know it" I'm going to go ahead and assume that's supposed to be Su-Koro, rather than Su-Wahi. Also, Tenius' langague in this seems a bit... unrefined? "I.. don't have an answer to that. I don't have an answer to any of this. Like I keep saying... it's just really, really weird" "Taipu insists that it was only thanks to some other guy that he was able to do it, but he always short-changes himself" The bolded parts indicate where I think Tenius' language regresses a bit; this guy is an accountant, no? He's meek, orderly and probably more intellectually inclined than your average Onu-Matoran, or so he seems at least. Just a thought. I also noticed you played around a little with the shape of Taipu's mask; those vents on the side and the hexagonal mouthpiece makes it look more "industrial", much like Tenius' Akaku, I like it, it makes sense given how much time Taipu spends in the mines. Whoops! Thanks for pointing out that mistake. I've just fixed it. As for Tenius' language... Yes, he's meek and humble and does his job as well as he can, but his job isn't his identity, you know? There's no need for him to try to impress Calor with flowery language, so why not have a more casual conversation? I know it seems inconsistent, but I'm just trying to make him more well rounded. HOWEVER, there was another reason for brushing off Takua, the most beloved Bionicle character of all, it's poster child, as "some other guy." It's just part of Nova Orbis' sometimes self deprecating humor, mostly inspired by the writing of IDW's "More Than Meets The Eye," one of my favorite comics. As for Taipu's mask, the vents on the side are supposed to make it look a bit more like the great Ruru from the Toa Metru sets. See? Anyway, thanks! Edited March 30, 2014 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onaku Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I feel like I say this far too often, but man, things just got far more intense. I mean, holy moly, a thing that dug something as big as that? Things may have been mysterious and interesting before, but now... now I'm REALLY invested in this story. I feel like there is just something REALLY big happening under the surface. I don't know what else I can add that Gear hasn't already said, but once again, brilliant work! Best of luck! Quote BZPRPG Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark_Stranger Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 I can't believe it took me this long to find this. I'm working on developing a story myself, and it's inspiring to see someone in the same boat turning out something as nice as this. The characterization is solid, and you do a good job of "starting over" without abandoning the old canon. The illustrations are simple, but effective and very aesthetically pleasing (not to mention the character design demonstrating just how much thought went into all this). And, of course, I've loved the story so far. Keep it up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted April 5, 2014 Author Share Posted April 5, 2014 Thanks, guys. Yeah, a lot of love has gone into this, and that's what's allowed it to grow this much. On another note, we get to meet a new Toa Miro in the concept art thread! Only one more to go. http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/11597-bionicle-nova-orbis-concept-art-ongoing-collection/page-2 Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 Chapter seven is online! http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-7-447235190 I think the last coupla' chapters have been a tad too slow. It's time we really got this plot moving, so yeah, a lot happened in this one. I was originally going to end it when they were cornered by the mysterious Rahi, but in the end, I decided that was unacceptable.So yeah, this chapter was a big game changer! From this point on, Calor and Mieli's stories are one, so now we'll only have two stories to follow, not three. And, given their destination, it won't be long before... well, you can probably guess what's going to happen, next. It's been fun juggling these three parties, but I don't know how much longer I could keep it up in that format. Now, though, more is going to be accomplished in each chapter.I really hope I'm giving you guys a good sense of where our little would-be heroes are as we move around the island. Panel 5 is consistent with the scenes where Mieli leaves Ce-Koro and reaches Ga-Koro, and I want to keep everything sound. The MNOG gave you that really good sense of where you were going.As for Taipu... from my understanding, even after a Toa becomes a Turaga, they do still retain a smidge of their elemental powers. For example, I've heard Vakama is able to use his fire staff to weld things together and light torches. Taipu, already good at digging, was just strong and acute enough to cause the area around him to cave in. How fortunate it is that he just happened to get where he was at that moment, right? Perhaps Mieli helped.On another note, Ahkmou's simple "Maybe" was a BIG moment for me as I was writing this. I think it's for the best that, for once, he gives no clear, definitive answer that could so easily be another lie. You could say that one word, just that ONE little word hints at his character changing. Well, that's it for now! Chapter 8 will be online in another two weeks. In the meantime, feedback is appreciated. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geardirector Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 As for Taipu... from my understanding, even after a Toa becomes a Turaga, they do still retain a smidge of their elemental powers. For example, I've heard Vakama is able to use his fire staff to weld things together and light torches. Taipu, already good at digging, was just strong and acute enough to cause the area around him to cave in. How fortunate it is that he just happened to get where he was at that moment, right? Perhaps Mieli helped. Turaga retain about a tenth of their elemental powers upon giving up their Toa status. Taipu already being a good digger and his remaining powers, I see this as perfectly plausible. 1 Quote BZPRPG Profiles Nuparu-Ferron-Mar-Zelvin-Wiremu-Farzan-Mako-Krex-Tamachan-??? Akiri Nuparu Posts: 1. 2. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted April 16, 2014 Author Share Posted April 16, 2014 As for Taipu... from my understanding, even after a Toa becomes a Turaga, they do still retain a smidge of their elemental powers. For example, I've heard Vakama is able to use his fire staff to weld things together and light torches. Taipu, already good at digging, was just strong and acute enough to cause the area around him to cave in. How fortunate it is that he just happened to get where he was at that moment, right? Perhaps Mieli helped. Turaga retain about a tenth of their elemental powers upon giving up their Toa status. Taipu already being a good digger and his remaining powers, I see this as perfectly plausible. All right. Anyone have anything else to say about this chapter, though? Like... was it too rushed? Was the mysterious Rahi sufficiently creepy? what do you guys think of Silva's character and his motives? Sorry if it seems like I'm fishing for compliments, but... I work hard on these, guys, and that's time I could (or rather should) be using to get other projects done, and as much as I'm compelled to keep working on this, I... there's no way to say this without sounding like a tool, but I'm a little disheartened by the results. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark_Stranger Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 The action and character development are both quite well done in this chapter, and Ahkmou and Silva have a nice dynamic going. However, while the mystery-Rahi sequence is quite creepy, I almost felt like there wasn't enough time to fully absorb all the atmosphere of the scene. It probably should have been a paragraph or two longer. That's the only real problem I saw, though, so I'd say this is still turning out to be a fine story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hexann Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 How can I put this? Meh, this isn't going to describe how good this series is, but rather summarize it... HOLY KARZ, THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME! There, now as too why. I definitely like how your attempting to individualize each mask. That's a really good idea, actually. At first I kind of had trouble calling this a 'comic' but I guess it works considering it's numerous illustrations. Any way, keep up the work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 Thanks, guys. Sorry for flip flopping so much with the schedule, but I won't be able to finish Toa Zyvys's bio this weekend. I had something else I was compelled to get out of the way and it left me with no time for this. Not to mention, I'm having a hard enough time just working out everything about this character. He just might end up being the coolest Toa Miro so far, but I've gotta do this right. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hexann Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Thanks, guys. Sorry for flip flopping so much with the schedule, but I won't be able to finish Toa Zyvys's bio this weekend. I had something else I was compelled to get out of the way and it left me with no time for this. Not to mention, I'm having a hard enough time just working out everything about this character. He just might end up being the coolest Toa Miro so far, but I've gotta do this right.I haven't checked out all the chapters yet, but take all the time you need and keep up the good work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted April 27, 2014 Author Share Posted April 27, 2014 (edited) EDIT Sigh... Guys, I'm sorry. I'm tired of making empty promises about getting around to the next chapter or bio and not finding the time to do it. I hate to say it, but... I'm going to need to take a break from Nova Orbis. Not for long, really. Just long enough to get some other things out of the way. See, as I've said before, this has mostly been a side project I work on when I'm not working on other comics an' whatnot. I've been having trouble juggling this with those other things, lately... So I'm just going to buckle down and focus COMPLETELY on finishing my current comic on Deviantart, and then as soon as that's done, I'm going to shift focus back to THIS for a while. You'll get chapters more frequently (hopefully two each week) in a sort of... marathon until I, at the very least, finish this current story arc, which is about halfway done. Then, I'll take another break from this to work on something else until I, once again, come back to this for the next arc. All right, so... how does that sound? I'm just trying to stay focused on whatever I'm up to at the moment, instead of juggling things around and having trouble finding the time to finish anything. Edited May 2, 2014 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akavakaku Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 No problem, that's a very logical plan!(You know me as Orionide5 by the way.) Quote ( The bunny slippers hiss and slither into the shadows. ) -Takuaka: Toa of TimeWhat if the Toa you know best were not destined to be? Interchange: The epic begins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iver Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 This is a logical and fair plan. Fortunately, the rules on Artwork III have been changed to allow comics to go more than thirty days without a post without dying. Quote "You humans are absurd, Rook. Furious when you're not in control, terrified when you are. Pull it together." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hexann Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 @Nickon Aqua Magna: Take your time. I've had far longer hiatus from creating comics than this. If we were rushed, the majority of us might've quit long ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Click Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 The only part of this I'm disappointed about is that this story arc will eventually end . I understand as well as anybody how real life gets in the way of the projects we would like to work on. My personal "To Do" list is extemely long as well. And I apologize for not posting here for a while. You know, life and all that. i've bren keeping up with the story and I have to say it is coming along very well! You've really fleshed out Ahkmou's character especially well and your other characters don't seem flat at all. The art style is fantastic, as always, and I can't wait to see more! Quote ~ Corpus Rahkshi: Fang | Hoto | Tube | Tear | Canvas | Garrotte | Reda BZPRPG: Azusai | Mitsuri The Scarabax Library | Flickr | Deviantart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted May 17, 2014 Author Share Posted May 17, 2014 Thanks for all the support, guys. I have great news! The next chapter is finished and will be online tomorrow. Nova Orbis is back! Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tahukan Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 Thanks for all the support, guys. I have great news! The next chapter is finished and will be online tomorrow. Nova Orbis is back!YES! *punches fists in the air* hey did you know currently your the only member of BZP to have Fe-Matoran in there comics? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted May 17, 2014 Author Share Posted May 17, 2014 Thanks for all the support, guys. I have great news! The next chapter is finished and will be online tomorrow. Nova Orbis is back!YES! *punches fists in the air* hey did you know currently your the only member of BZP to have Fe-Matoran in there comics? Really? Huh...Here it is, folks! Chapter 8 is online! http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-8-454633534 It feels like things are progressing better now that we don't have as many groups to follow. And as I'm sure you can guess by now, it's only a matter of time before Ahkmou and Silva meet up with the others in Su-Koro. What will they learn there, and where will their journey take them, next? If I've made any spelling errors, feel free to point them out. I do proof-read these, but because they're so long, I sometimes need to do it more than once to be sure. Sorry there weren't that many illustrations in this one, but, well, not a lot of things happened this time around. Just some really important things. Anyway... I'll try to have the next chapter online by Monday, if possible. Yeah, I'm really gonna be cranking these out, now. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Click Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 The only part that sounds a bit odd is in the fifteenth paragraph: "Of course! It's the Ga-Matoran way. Anything the Turaga can so, so do we." Other than that, it's great, as always! The art looks good, and I like how you depicted the rapids. The dingies are very reminiscent of MNOLG, and it looks good. It would be cool to see how the vehicles are built. I wish Lego had made some Matoran-scale vehicle sets while Bionicle was around in the earlier years. We got the Swamp Strider and Vultraz's speeder, but nothing like what you have in here. Do you actually build the designs before drawing them? I can't wait for the stories to collide. It's already getting interesting, and I can't wait to see what happens when they meet. We almost have a classic Toa Team, with Psionics instead of Ice. Quote ~ Corpus Rahkshi: Fang | Hoto | Tube | Tear | Canvas | Garrotte | Reda BZPRPG: Azusai | Mitsuri The Scarabax Library | Flickr | Deviantart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted May 17, 2014 Author Share Posted May 17, 2014 (edited) The only part that sounds a bit odd is in the fifteenth paragraph: "Of course! It's the Ga-Matoran way. Anything the Turaga can so, so do we." Other than that, it's great, as always! The art looks good, and I like how you depicted the rapids. The dingies are very reminiscent of MNOLG, and it looks good. It would be cool to see how the vehicles are built. I wish Lego had made some Matoran-scale vehicle sets while Bionicle was around in the earlier years. We got the Swamp Strider and Vultraz's speeder, but nothing like what you have in here. Do you actually build the designs before drawing them? I can't wait for the stories to collide. It's already getting interesting, and I can't wait to see what happens when they meet. We almost have a classic Toa Team, with Psionics instead of Ice. Ah, that. Yeah, I meant for her to say "Anything the Turaga can DO, so do we." Thanks for pointing that out. There's always SOMETHING like that that slips by me. Anyway, I've fixed it. As for the vehicles... well, I do try to make room for certain pieces, such as this http://www.bricklink.com/PL/6629.jpg and this http://www.bricklink.com/PL/32009.jpg but I don't actually build them beforehand... and I don't think these even COULD be built as drawn. If anyone wants to try to make mocs based on them, go right ahead. I'm sure there's a way to do it, if you recognize enough of the pieces used... such as the bohrok belly on the rear of the buggy. Some of these aren't even made for constraction figures as much as minifigs, though. Edited May 17, 2014 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted May 20, 2014 Author Share Posted May 20, 2014 Chapter nine is online! That was quick, huh? http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-9-455271446 Yeah, I know I kinda cheated with a couple of these illustrations. I just really liked them and felt like doing a touch up job on 'em. Anyway...Man... Ahkmou's got some s'plainin' to do. In the next chapter or so, we'll learn about Piras' meeting with Sein and what Trux told Ahkmou. For now, though, we end with a twist.Trux is not only tall, but lanky as heck... geez, in the fifth illustration, he looks like he just went though Wonka's taffy puller.A scale grater.... think of it like a cheese grater, only for fish. I know there' something like that in real life, but I don't know what it's called and this is just what the Matoran call it.Something I want to talk about for a moment, which we will delve into later in the story, is the different between Sein and Trux. Sein kinda mopes around, dreaming about finding some way to magically make everyone's lives better overnight. He believes it's his destiny, you know? Toa think big. But in his futile struggle to find some big, quick, easy way to fix things, he hasn't really make much progress. And who knows where he is now, you know? Thanks to Trux, though, in his first five years as chief, he has made life better for the Su-Matoran in ways that, while small, do add up over time and are appreciated. Maybe under his leadership, Su-Koro could end up becoming a completely different place, someday?It's just something to think about...On another note, yay! The three groups are all together now, and we'll have one plot thread to focus on. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onaku Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Good job on getting these last two chapters out so fast. Was that a dragon I saw there? It sure looked like a dragon to me. You know, this was interesting from day one, but with every chapter, it's gotten even more so engaging. Looking forward to the next chapter, mate. Best of luck! Quote BZPRPG Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The 1st Shadow Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 I haven't posted here yet, but I've been following this story since you started, and I must say, I'm quite enjoying it. Definitely curious about this dragon. I'm assuming it's the same creature that's been digging huge tunnels and causing tremors. But what could it want with the stone? Is this beast something from the old world? Overall, this has turned out to be quite the tale, and I look forward to seeing where you go with it, Nick! Quote ~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow ~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to NickonAquaMagna~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onaku Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 I don't think that dragon was the one to dig that tunnel. The dragon is probably just a part of an arsenal of rahi that the unknown enemy has at their disposal. Quote BZPRPG Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iver Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Wow. Trux is freakishly tall. And a Toa stone, eh? Perhaps a Toa stone for a Toa of Light? Now, when you say "smitten" do you mean to say that Matoran are born now? Or is it like a Jaller-Hahli thing? Quote "You humans are absurd, Rook. Furious when you're not in control, terrified when you are. Pull it together." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 Wow. Trux is freakishly tall. And a Toa stone, eh? Perhaps a Toa stone for a Toa of Light? Now, when you say "smitten" do you mean to say that Matoran are born now? Or is it like a Jaller-Hahli thing? No, they haven't evolved that much yet. Still, it doesn't mean they can't have fondness or admiration for each other. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hexann Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Wow. Trux is freakishly tall. And a Toa stone, eh? Perhaps a Toa stone for a Toa of Light? Now, when you say "smitten" do you mean to say that Matoran are born now? Or is it like a Jaller-Hahli thing? No, they haven't evolved that much yet. Still, it doesn't mean they can't have fondness or admiration for each other.for some reason this post compels me to state that the whole Matoran/Toa/Turaga species is in a state of some sort of 'puppy love'. Though in technicality they're not even to that stage yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 (edited) Wow. Trux is freakishly tall. And a Toa stone, eh? Perhaps a Toa stone for a Toa of Light? Now, when you say "smitten" do you mean to say that Matoran are born now? Or is it like a Jaller-Hahli thing? No, they haven't evolved that much yet. Still, it doesn't mean they can't have fondness or admiration for each other.for some reason this post compels me to state that the whole Matoran/Toa/Turaga species is in a state of some sort of 'puppy love'. Though in technicality they're not even to that stage yet. If you wanna know my stance on the whole "Matoran are robots who can't feel for each other" debacle , I must refer you to Tayanacon's journal entry, "The Whole MU-Resident-love issue," on Deviantart. Her thoughts on this are pretty much synonymous with my own. I would link to it directly, but I'd proably get in trouble for that (there are swear words). Edited May 21, 2014 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iver Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I don't think you will. There's a disclaimer that appears every time you click a link on bzp, so as long as you give a warning, I think it's fine. Quote "You humans are absurd, Rook. Furious when you're not in control, terrified when you are. Pull it together." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 (edited) I don't think you will. There's a disclaimer that appears every time you click a link on bzp, so as long as you give a warning, I think it's fine. If you say so. http://tayanacon.deviantart.com/journal/The-Whole-MU-Resident-love-Issue-224635146 You were warned. This is basically how I feel about the whole thing, but I don't want to reopen old wounds and get this thread locked or something. Edited May 21, 2014 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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