NickonAquaMagna Posted October 27, 2014 Author Share Posted October 27, 2014 Why not have all the characters be RoboRiders? Set it after the defeat of the Virus, with the planet's civilization having become dependent on deadly races for entertainment, negotiation and commerce. After that, the options are limitless! Because there's more to the natives of Nova Orbis than that. If I went down that route, the larger story I have planned would fall apart. I get it if you're really nostalgic about the Roboriders and really really want to see SOMEBODY make a story about them, but... that's not what I'm here to do. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahpolki0513 Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 (edited) So Silva's either in Wonderland, the Dreamlands, or the Shivering Isles. If it's the third, he can expect cheese to rain from the sky. If it's the second, he might meet Mr. Carter. If it's the first, someone might be out for his head. XD Not sure if anyone's noticed, but Silva's name sounds like "Silver". Was that intentionally? Edited October 28, 2014 by Ahpolki0513 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 So Silva's either in Wonderland, the Dreamlands, or the Shivering Isles. If it's the third, he can expect cheese to rain from the sky. If it's the second, he might meet Mr. Carter. If it's the first, someone might be out for his head. XD Not sure if anyone's noticed, but Silva's name sounds like "Silver". Was that intentionally? No. It's a word for plants. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Legendary TNT Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Hey, Ahkmou made a statue of Takua in that image, didn't he? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 Hey, Ahkmou made a statue of Takua in that image, didn't he? No. It's a reference to Hafu's statue of himself in the MNOG. "Eat that, Hafu." Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 (edited) Chapter 13 is online! Woooooot! http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2014/301/e/2/bionicle__nova_orbis__mystery__chapter_13_by_nickinamerica-d84gfcd.png http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-13-491214253 Enjoy~Random fact of the day- A day on Nova Orbis lasts around 40 hours... so yeah, they can get more things done each day because their days are significantly longer than ours.Anyway, that's it for now. I'll try to have another chapter ready by Friday. Edited October 28, 2014 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onaku Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 It's great to have Nova Orbis back. I loved this chapter, and I am very much looking forward to the next one. Take care, Nick. Quote BZPRPG Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geardirector Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Random fact of the day- A day on Nova Orbis lasts around 40 hours... so yeah, they can get more things done each day because their days are significantly longer than ours. Really, now? I honestly hadn't considered that eventuality. 40-hour days isn't exactly a problem when your lifespan stretches into the tens of thousands of years. I take it this means that Nova Orbis is a very large planet? Alright, on to the chapter itself: Sooo, I didn't expect Uira to develop a sort-of crush on Calor, or is that just her way of being friendly? Since you actually did point out that it was something that apparently happened for little to no reason, I'm assuming you're going to shed some light on that in the future. Ahkmou's upstaging Hafu was mildly humorous. And then there's Turaga Vesta. Given the way he's described and the way he acted originally around the original Toa Miro, I can't help but feel a bit suspicious of how in stride he's apparently taking two new Toa standing right before him. I enjoyed the chapter, Nick. Keep going. 1 Quote BZPRPG Profiles Nuparu-Ferron-Mar-Zelvin-Wiremu-Farzan-Mako-Krex-Tamachan-??? Akiri Nuparu Posts: 1. 2. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 Random fact of the day- A day on Nova Orbis lasts around 40 hours... so yeah, they can get more things done each day because their days are significantly longer than ours. Really, now? I honestly hadn't considered that eventuality. 40-hour days isn't exactly a problem when your lifespan stretches into the tens of thousands of years. I take it this means that Nova Orbis is a very large planet? Sooo, I didn't expect Uira to develop a sort-of crush on Calor, or is that just her way of being friendly? Since you actually did point out that it was something that apparently happened for little to no reason, I'm assuming you're going to shed some light on that in the future. Ahkmou's upstaging Hafu was mildly humorous. I enjoyed the chapter, Nick. Keep going. Well, not as large as some planets... about twice as big as earth, we'll say, but not quite as big as Sphereus Magna. It could just be that it spins a little slower than our planet does. As for Uira's interest in Calor, there is a reason for that. She doesn't see him as marriage material or whatever, she just feels a certain kinship with him. The secret of it will be explained in time, though even she may not be able to tell us what it is. That's all I'll say about that for now. As for Ahkmou, yeah, that's a reference to what Hafu made on the way to the Kini-Nui in the MNOG. Man, we've been getting a lot of references to that guy, lately. Well, I guess it makes sense. It's only a matter of time until we get a reference to Huki or someone like that. And thanks. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahpolki0513 Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 (edited) As for Uira's interest in Calor, there is a reason for that. She doesn't see him as marriage material or whatever, she just feels a certain kinship with him. The secret of it will be explained in time, though even she may not be able to tell us what it is. That's all I'll say about that for now.So, what? She sees him as a brother or cousin or something of the like? Edited October 29, 2014 by Ahpolki0513 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted October 29, 2014 Author Share Posted October 29, 2014 As for Uira's interest in Calor, there is a reason for that. She doesn't see him as marriage material or whatever, she just feels a certain kinship with him. The secret of it will be explained in time, though even she may not be able to tell us what it is. That's all I'll say about that for now.So, what? She sees him as a brother or cousin or something of the like? Well... okay, yes. Not gonna say why yet, though. That's as much as you'll get outta me. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axilus Prime Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 This is interesting. I feel kinda sorry for Silva not being able to use his powers well. Ahkmou seems right at home with them, if inexperienced. Uira seems that way too. I definitely wonder what Turaga Vesta wants to talk about though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakest123 Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Another... Akhmou original? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ford Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 (edited) Another... Akhmou original?Better than infected Kohlii balls. btw how do you get that spinning mask icon? Edited October 30, 2014 by Fordianl Quote http://i.imgur.com/kbP5Svg.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/O8CcqC5.pnghttp://i.imgur.com/kbP5Svg.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakest123 Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Another... Akhmou original?Better than infected Kohlii balls. btw how do you get that spinning mask icon? I'm not entirely sure because I've been away from the site for a long time, but I'd guess that it's related to how long the user has been a member for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Undertaken Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 It's all part of the conspiracy I tells yah!I bet Vestus actually seething with indignation but is keeping it bottled up so as not to let these new Toa on to the secret of the Turaga's secret masters. Secretly. Wonder what Vestus is going to talk to Calor about, maybe it's some challenge(a secret challenge!) to test his skill/loyalty(Secretly!) and to keep suspicion off of him and his stance against change.(SECRETS!) Quote -END OF LINE- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahpolki0513 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Considering that the next chapter might be released around Halloween, is it safe to say that there might be some reference to the Holiday or the Horror genre in any way? XD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 Considering that the next chapter might be released around Halloween, is it safe to say that there might be some reference to the Holiday or the Horror genre in any way? XD Nope, sorry. It should be online tomorrow, though. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 (edited) Chapter 14 should be online in an hour or two. For now, here's a preview image.http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/304/7/9/14_3_by_nickinamerica-d84rz61.png Edit: Image linked; please keep embedded images to 750 kB.-Wind- Edited November 1, 2014 by -Windrider- Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 (edited) Chapter 14 is online! Woooot~ http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/art/Bionicle-Nova-Orbis-Mystery-Chapter-14-491770905 So... it would seem Ahkmou's may've had an unexpected run-in with one of the planet's other inhabitants... or at least a species he's not very familiar with. Same thing, I guess. More on that later, though. Much, much later.I hope someone got a kick out of that "average J'oh" bit. It doesn't even mean anything in some other language. I just wanted to come up with something unremarkable-sounding to contrast all of the more elaborate, flowery names of these characters, and it just made the joke.Some of you may remember seeing the burning reef in Toa Unda's bio.As for Calor... yeah, now we start getting what he really meant to say, but wasn't willing to say to Banhi's face, when he said I didn't fit in" waaaaaay back at the beginning of the story. I understand if Calor isn't the most compelling of the Toa Novus (arguably, he's the most laid back out of all of them), but maybe this'll shed some light on his mostly non-confrontational demeanor.Anyway, the next chapter is where things REALLY get moving.That's it for today, though. Chapter 15 should be up on Monday, maybe Tuesday. Oh, come on, Calor. Don't be like that. Discuss! Edited October 31, 2014 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pohatu: Uniter of Stone Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Haha! Average J'oh. Quote I HATE SCORPIOS ~Pohatu Master of Stone, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 Huh... the reception to today's chapter has been kinda... eh? Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onaku Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 The traffic on this website isn't constant, Nick. People will come, and they will respond in time. Be patient. Meanwhile, I think this was a fantastic chapter. It's nice to get a little backstory for those two fireheads' friendship. And man, that black clad entity... mysterious, that is. Good luck, Nick. 3 Quote BZPRPG Profiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The 1st Shadow Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I haven't gotten around to the newest chapter yet, but the last one was pretty good! Loved seeing the new Toa adjust to their new lives and powers. Quote ~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow ~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to NickonAquaMagna~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 The traffic on this website isn't constant, Nick. People will come, and they will respond in time. Be patient. Meanwhile, I think this was a fantastic chapter. It's nice to get a little backstory for those two fireheads' friendship. And man, that black clad entity... mysterious, that is. Good luck, Nick. Thanks. And sorry, I thought maybe this thread had been overlooked or something. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axilus Prime Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 No fan of this series would overlook the thread. I used to be a comic maker with a nicely sized fanbase, and it typically took me longer to get replies from everyone. Now, on to my reply to the chapter! Nice callback and vivid description on Ahkmou's past, yet again. For some reason I really like that detail about him having been forced to wear those cuffs before. It's also cool how you made use of the HF cuff pieces. Taipu and Tenius were funny in that scene. It brought a smile to my face. Oh, so that's why he seemed so happy. Yep, Vesta's still a tailpipe. So there are still those tremors, and all the Turaga are in on....what ever it is that's going on. To some degree anyway. Well, excellent work, because you've achieved your obvious intention of making readers curious, at least in my case. Also glad to learn more about Calor and Banhi's past. Helps see some things more clearly. And yes, I got a kick out of "average J'oh". Nice work making that sound Bionicle-ish. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geardirector Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Chapter 14: I realized I haven't commented much on the art until now, so I want to point out that I really like the frame of Imber underwater, the silhouette stretching out into the water, framed by the seaweed. Really nice. I can see a good sense of dynamic coming from which two Toa you put together. Imber/Mieli, Calor/Uira and Ahkmou/Silva are all pretty obvious in how they complement each other. Imber is confident, courageous and proactive where Mieli is considerate, cautios and patient. Where Calor is meek and moody Uira is self-assured and optimistic, and Ahkmou and Silva are basically proponents of the old and new order, as well as the experienced/inexperienced element. Silva's the one who's having the biggest trouble simply coming to terms with his new powers and status, so he needs a little extra help, so to speak. As for Turaga Vesta, I suspect he was originally approving of Calor because he thought with a leader like this, he could substantially influence, if not even control, the new Toa's activities. Calor isn't exactly the most outspoken or abrasive person. Ahkmou is an anomaly, no one has control over him, and that's what Vesta (and I suspect the other Turaga) don't approve of. Not only does he already know far too much, now he's got the power to act on it and people who follow him. Put it simply, Ahkmou has become a threat. As for Ahkmou himself, I can imagine he's going to be more than willing to stand up to the crossfire. I found the part between Tenius and Taipu interesting. Considering the canon Taipu we all know and hopefully love, this seems to me like a "grown-up" Taipu using his older self as a defense mechanism. There's more going on behind that mask than he cares to admit at the moment. It's a good chapter, nick, I'll keep reading. Quote BZPRPG Profiles Nuparu-Ferron-Mar-Zelvin-Wiremu-Farzan-Mako-Krex-Tamachan-??? Akiri Nuparu Posts: 1. 2. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted November 1, 2014 Author Share Posted November 1, 2014 Nice callback and vivid description on Ahkmou's past, yet again. For some reason I really like that detail about him having been forced to wear those cuffs before. It's also cool how you made use of the HF cuff pieces. Also glad to learn more about Calor and Banhi's past. Helps see some things more clearly. And yes, I got a kick out of "average J'oh". Nice work making that sound Bionicle-ish. That's not the only Hero Factory part I made use of in this chapter. Heheh. As for Calor and Banhi's past, this was pretty important to me, but I wasn't sure how to go about it. I mean... when do you ever hear the Toa of old talking about these sorts of personal problems? There's no room in the plot for mundane stuff like that. Granted, I'm not sure what that says about this story... but now that the Matoran aren't bound to essentially being Mata Nui's cells and can have actual lives (like on the island Mata Nui, to an extent), I wanted to show how they've grown and changed. I can see a good sense of dynamic coming from which two Toa you put together. Imber/Mieli, Calor/Uira and Ahkmou/Silva are all pretty obvious in how they complement each other. Imber is confident, courageous and proactive where Mieli is considerate, cautios and patient. Where Calor is meek and moody Uira is self-assured and optimistic, and Ahkmou and Silva are basically proponents of the old and new order, as well as the experienced/inexperienced element. Silva's the one who's having the biggest trouble simply coming to terms with his new powers and status, so he needs a little extra help, so to speak. As for Turaga Vesta, I suspect he was originally approving of Calor because he thought with a leader like this, he could substantially influence, if not even control, the new Toa's activities. Calor isn't exactly the most outspoken or abrasive person. Ahkmou is an anomaly, no one has control over him, and that's what Vesta (and I suspect the other Turaga) don't approve of. Not only does he already know far too much, now he's got the power to act on it and people who follow him. Put it simply, Ahkmou has become a threat. Funny thing about that... I don't know how I did it. I didn't really plan for them all to be paired up this way because I knew these character dynamics would help the story. It was just something I did subconsciously because they'd been so well defined without me even realizing it. It's like once the pieces were in place, this was the natural result. It's like the characters are writing me, now. Does that make sense? At least it's worked out for the best. As for Vesta, you're DEAD ON. In fact, Ahkmou even calls him out on that in the next chapter... which, coming from him, can only come across so gently. Hooooh boy... Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The 1st Shadow Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 As a comic-maker myself, I know how it can take a while to get replies. Some people are just busy with school and life, and haven't gotten a chance to get online to see it. Onto the chapter--I quite liked this one. I'm definitely curious as to what these strange opponents are that Ahkmou's encountered. Loved the use of the HF cuffs here. (But where else did you use HF pieces? I can't find any)The part with Mieli "hearing" a voice was a bit tricky to follow. I'll admit, my first thought was that it was Toa Unda, trying to contact the newbies for some reason. Wonder what it is the Turaga have going on? That said, I eagerly await the next chapter. Quote ~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow ~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to NickonAquaMagna~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted November 1, 2014 Author Share Posted November 1, 2014 Loved the use of the HF cuffs here. (But where else did you use HF pieces? I can't find any) Look at Vesta's chair. Heheh. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The 1st Shadow Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Loved the use of the HF cuffs here. (But where else did you use HF pieces? I can't find any) Look at Vesta's chair. Heheh. Oh! I see it now! It's one of the shell pieces, right? Quote ~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow ~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to NickonAquaMagna~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted November 1, 2014 Author Share Posted November 1, 2014 Loved the use of the HF cuffs here. (But where else did you use HF pieces? I can't find any) Look at Vesta's chair. Heheh. Oh! I see it now! It's one of the shell pieces, right? Yeah. The one with the vents all over it. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The 1st Shadow Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Loved the use of the HF cuffs here. (But where else did you use HF pieces? I can't find any) Look at Vesta's chair. Heheh. Oh! I see it now! It's one of the shell pieces, right? Yeah. The one with the vents all over it. Yeah, I see it now. Missed that the first time. Quote ~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow ~Credit for Avatar and Banner goes to NickonAquaMagna~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted November 1, 2014 Author Share Posted November 1, 2014 The shape of it just seemed to make a really good chair. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ford Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 I loved Taipu's personality in MNOG, and I love the fact that you kept it here. He's always adventurous and funny, even as a Turaga! Quote http://i.imgur.com/kbP5Svg.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/O8CcqC5.pnghttp://i.imgur.com/kbP5Svg.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Undertaken Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Agreed, Taipu is my favourite Turaga thus far Quote -END OF LINE- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted November 2, 2014 Author Share Posted November 2, 2014 (edited) Here's a preview of chapter 15, which will be released tomorrow. What does it meeeean? Discuss. Edited November 2, 2014 by NickonAquaMagna Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ford Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 It's either a really weird looking squid or a really weird looking plant. Either way, it's really weird looking, but I like it, and I'm excited for chapter 15. BTW, it's really weird looking, if you haven't figured it out yet. Quote http://i.imgur.com/kbP5Svg.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/O8CcqC5.pnghttp://i.imgur.com/kbP5Svg.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickonAquaMagna Posted November 2, 2014 Author Share Posted November 2, 2014 It's either a really weird looking squid or a really weird looking plant. Either way, it's really weird looking, but I like it, and I'm excited for chapter 15. BTW, it's really weird looking, if you haven't figured it out yet. More like a really weird looking machine. Quote The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ford Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 It's either a really weird looking squid or a really weird looking plant. Either way, it's really weird looking, but I like it, and I'm excited for chapter 15. BTW, it's really weird looking, if you haven't figured it out yet. More like a really weird looking machine. Now that's cool. Quote http://i.imgur.com/kbP5Svg.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/O8CcqC5.pnghttp://i.imgur.com/kbP5Svg.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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