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Bionicle- Nova Orbis (new world)

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#121 Offline Jovan2

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Posted May 22 2014 - 07:00 AM

Yeah. Heavy warning on that link. But I guess she does have sort of a point when she talks about "affection". It makes some sense when you watch Jaller and Hahli in Mask of Light. Their relationship did seem a bit different when compared to the others. But deep affection, I think, is about as far as Bionicle "romance" goes.


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#122 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted May 23 2014 - 12:23 PM

Working on the next chapter now. If I don't get it done and online today, then tomorrow for sure.

 

Before we go any further though, I really wanna know what people think of what Macku apparently thinks of Ahkmou, judging from what Trux said. What could've happened (aside from everything we already know about) that would bring out this side of her? Isn't it intriguing that someone... not infallible, but as englightened as a Turaga could feel this way about a Matoran? Isn't that something?


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#123 Online ~T1S~

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Posted May 23 2014 - 02:01 PM

Working on the next chapter now. If I don't get it done and online today, then tomorrow for sure.

 

Before we go any further though, I really wanna know what people think of what Macku apparently thinks of Ahkmou, judging from what Trux said. What could've happened (aside from everything we already know about) that would bring out this side of her? Isn't it intriguing that someone... not infallible, but as englightened as a Turaga could feel this way about a Matoran? Isn't that something?

I kinda like that particular bit. Though a lot has happened since then. I suppose I mean that I like how she doesn't like or trust him, due to his history, but to claim that he's that bad even after what appears to be another few thousand years and doesn't have any ties to Teridax anymore seems a little out of place. That just seems like she's forcing a grudge. It's pushing it a little.

 

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#124 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted May 23 2014 - 02:13 PM

 

Working on the next chapter now. If I don't get it done and online today, then tomorrow for sure.

 

Before we go any further though, I really wanna know what people think of what Macku apparently thinks of Ahkmou, judging from what Trux said. What could've happened (aside from everything we already know about) that would bring out this side of her? Isn't it intriguing that someone... not infallible, but as englightened as a Turaga could feel this way about a Matoran? Isn't that something?

I kinda like that particular bit. Though a lot has happened since then. I suppose I mean that I like how she doesn't like or trust him, due to his history, but to claim that he's that bad even after what appears to be another few thousand years and doesn't have any ties to Teridax anymore seems a little out of place. That just seems like she's forcing a grudge. It's pushing it a little.

 

signoffffff.png

 

 

You mean you kinda dislike it? Yeah... rest assured, there is a reason for it. We'll find out someday.

 

In the meantime, chapter 10 is online! >> http://nickinamerica...er-10-455909785

 

ahkmou_and_makuta_by_nickinamerica-d7jfq

 

 

>whew< This may be the longest chapter yet, and it's mostly dialog. I just had a lot of stuff I wanted to get out of the way in this one. I hope it doesn't feel rushed or overly expositive, though.

Piras is a really ambitious guy. Hopefully, we'll find out where that got him, someday.

Come to think of it, it is strange that the Su-Matoran are relegated to one of the worst parts of the island, that things just sort of worked out that way. Where's the sense in that? What possible reason could there be for it? Eh, we'll find out someday.

...Yeah, there's a lot of stuff I just can't tell you yet. Sorry.

Anyway, Ahkmou's flashback to waking up at the end of Time Trap is a big moment I've been waiting to get around to. It's one of my favorite Bionicle moments, and I've been looking forward to paying tribute to it. At first, I was going to do it when Ahkmou was in the cave in Su-Wahi, but decided to wait around a bit.

I also thought it would be fun to allude to him wanting to be a Toa, given that he almost became one in 2008.

I tried to give Calor enough moments of his own in this chapter not to be forgotten amongst the rest of the group. Now that the group is together (and still growing, but the looks of it), it isn't just HIS story anymore. He isn't the main protagonist any more than Tahu was in the good ol' days... but I guess I'm saying too much, now. Still, I just hope I haven't made him too bland or annoying or whatever. He, Mieli and so on represent the new, while Ahkmou represents the old.

Nonetheless, like any team in a Bionicle story, you could say that ALL of them, together, are "the" main character. We'll see how they gel together in time, as they uncover the mysteries of the world.

Once again, if anyone's curious about what sort of music Uira plays, it's something along these lines. https://www.youtube....Mwr_7pRnex4#t=9 (minus the bit at the beginning)

 

Hopefully I'll have chapter 11 online by Tuesday. See you then.

Feedback is appreciated.


Edited by NickonAquaMagna, May 23 2014 - 02:14 PM.

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#125 Offline Pohatu: Master of Stone

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Posted May 23 2014 - 02:24 PM

Ahkmou is my favorite character. Ever since you introduced him, he has been the only one, except maybe Calor, a.k.a. "Hot," that I've been paying good attention to. This chapter is great. Before reading this epic, I saw Ahkmou as a dirty, good-for-nothing traitor, liar and worse. Now, I feel like he is a good old friend.


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#126 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted May 23 2014 - 02:31 PM

Ahkmou is my favorite character. Ever since you introduced him, he has been the only one, except maybe Calor, a.k.a. "Hot," that I've been paying good attention to. This chapter is great. Before reading this epic, I saw Ahkmou as a dirty, good-for-nothing traitor, liar and worse. Now, I feel like he is a good old friend.

 

Well, given how much everything's changed, he's the only friend we've got. He may still be kind of a slimeball, but he's been there with us since the beginning.

 

BTW guys, I just wanna say, don't Calor and Mieli look great together? Their color schemes compliment the other so well. Just imagine how they'd look side-by-side on a shelf as toys.


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#127 Offline Toa Onaku

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Posted May 23 2014 - 06:30 PM

Hmmm, on that topic, since Calor is yellow and red, and Mieli is gold and blue, maybe you should use a bit duller and a bit redder colour for her colour scheme? Aside from that, I feel that Uira just... being there was a bit rushed. It would have been nice to see about one illustration of what the Vo-Matoran settlement looks like, but I guess you are in a hurry to get this on. I guess in the end it's not a big complaint, but it was a tad deus ex machina oriented, I felt. Otherwise, loved the chapter and the illustrations as always. Best of luck!


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#128 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted May 23 2014 - 06:43 PM

Hmmm, on that topic, since Calor is yellow and red, and Mieli is gold and blue, maybe you should use a bit duller and a bit redder colour for her colour scheme? Aside from that, I feel that Uira just... being there was a bit rushed. It would have been nice to see about one illustration of what the Vo-Matoran settlement looks like, but I guess you are in a hurry to get this on. I guess in the end it's not a big complaint, but it was a tad deus ex machina oriented, I felt. Otherwise, loved the chapter and the illustrations as always. Best of luck!

 

 

I try, but as soon as I throw a lighting effect in there it all becomes bright yellow. I guess I just need to make her darker. As for Uira... yeah, I've been wondering how I should introduce her for a while now, but couldn't think of a good way to do it. There IS a purpose for her being there, though. One that will be explained in time (and no, it's not just her future as a Toa or whatever). She going to end up having a big effect on the group dynamic someday, but I felt I had to introduce her now. As for Vo-Koro... yeah, I'm sorry. I guess I should've drawn some of the architecture around Uira, but I just found that establishing shot from the water so much more interesting. We'll come back to Vo-Koro someday, and get a closer look at it when there's more of a focus on it.


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#129 Offline Jovan2

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Posted May 23 2014 - 08:50 PM

Agh, this comic is too good to be true! It's awesomely written and illustrated, and updates regularly! The conversations on the boat ride were excellent examples of character development. After reading this, I can't believe I ever disliked Ahkmou. Maybe it's time I cracked open my Adventures 1 and 2 again...

Anyway, we finally meet one of your pet characters, Uira. I wonder how she will be used.


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#130 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted May 23 2014 - 09:57 PM

Agh, this comic is too good to be true! It's awesomely written and illustrated, and updates regularly! The conversations on the boat ride were excellent examples of character development. After reading this, I can't believe I ever disliked Ahkmou. Maybe it's time I cracked open my Adventures 1 and 2 again...

Anyway, we finally meet one of your pet characters, Uira. I wonder how she will be used.

 

You'll see. Part of the fun of these conversations is throwing the occasional joke in there, even during serious conversations. Not even actual jokes that have a punchline or whatever, just the characters being goofy. IDW's "More Than Meets The Eye" comics are a HUGE influence in this regard. So is Greg's writing style in his serials of course, but as they went on and got darker and darker, the humor became more about... decapitations an' whatnot. I just didn't want to go for that, to be honest, so I tried to keep these jokes more light-hearted and endearing. Heck, I feel it's extremely important to give Ahkmou himself some of these moments, so he doesn't come off as an overly-serious sourpuss, even if his jabs are still pretty biting.

 

Some of my personal favorite bits so far include Tenius saying he's afraid of heights, Calor asking "Don't you spend most of your time in a skyscraper or something?" and Tenius answering "Yes, but I stay away from the windows," along with Ahkmou referring to Mieli as "our own self-fulfilling prophecy" in the latest chapter. Do you guys get a kick out of that sort of dialog or does it just fall flat? What moments have really stuck out to you?


Edited by NickonAquaMagna, May 24 2014 - 09:41 AM.

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#131 Offline Jovan2

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Posted May 24 2014 - 09:25 AM

The dialogue  is actually one of the highest points in the story, if you ask me. You integrate their motives and attitude into a conversation that flows very naturally.


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#132 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted May 27 2014 - 10:36 AM

Chapter 11 is online! This one's a whopper. http://nickinamerica...er-11-456767361

 

ch11panel8_by_nickinamerica-d7jy87y.jpg

 

 

So... how 'bout that?

 

 

Hoooooooooooooooooh boy. This chapter was... quite eventful. Easily the biggest, yet.


On a side note... when working on Ahkmou in those last coupla panels, I couldn't help listening to music like this over and over again.


For those who may be thinking "Why didn't the swimming Rahi attack them sooner?" Well, the thing took a while to catch up. It isn't as fast as Imber's boat, and it had to catch them all the way from Onu-Wahi. Plus, it's only semi-aquatic and can't survive underwater for too long or go that far down. Calor, "seeing things," was likely catching glimpses of the creature as it was coming up for air. If it attacked them in the storm, the stone may have been lost for good, so it waited until they found a better playing field, and... it still screwed up. Oh well.

And yeah, we finally get a look at these guys! The semi-aquatic Rahi has Vamprah wings for fins and its head mainly consists of barraki eyes on elephant trunk pieces, all attached to one of those 8-way hinge pieces, and the teeth are two rows of those big curved fang pieces you see on those chima ultrabuilds on Exo-Force robot minifig arms. Try building it, if you feel like it. As for the winged Rahi, is has Inika chest pieces for shoulder pads, a long row of Carapar plates on its stomach, and Ehlek's claws for a bottom jaw. That should give you some idea of how big it may be as an actual set.

And yes, Ahkmou said a bad word. Just imagine that, just imagine him saying "$#%^" or some such thing, immediately followed by the "oooooooooOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH" from the MNOG as things start moving around. The absurdity of it gets to me. XD

Anyway... yes... These Matoran do end up becoming Toa, as I'm sure many of you must have seen coming by now. And yes, Ahkmou himself has finally become a Toa, and, being the most ancient of the bunch, he is fittingly an Inika build clone and does not have all the crazy new pieces that most of the others evidently do. More importantly, he's a Toa of stone who IS ACTUALLY BROWN. YES. Just imagine getting all those pieces in reddish brown.

I don't think anybody saw Tenius being left out, though. Believe it or not, there is a reason for it, but... we'll get to that in the next chapter. I am pretty bummed out about it, though, because... well, I really like Tenius, and I'm sure you guys wanted to see him become a Toa, too. And I may as well say it now.... yes, he will become a Toa someday. However, it will not be in this story arc, sorry to say.

You see... I know Uira kinda came out of nowhere, but I ALWAYS intended for her to be a part of this Toa team. There are a lot of reasons for this, actually. This was partly because I wanted to have as many females in the group as there are males, but also because I wanted to mix up the elements a bit, with the usual Toa of air, ice and earth being replaced by Toa of plant life, psionics and lightning. I wanted there to be a character that was still colored like a Toa of ice, and... well, water and ice are pretty much the same thing. So are earth and stone. When Tenius becomes a member of his own Toa team in a future story arc, it will not include a Toa of stone, so Tenius will be more distinct. Why not simply have him be a part of this team, though? Well, I've been building up Ahkmou to a point where he's basically the main character now, and it would be a shame not to have him become a Toa after all the character development he's gone through.

The sad truth is, I NEVER intended for Tenius to be a part of this Toa team. He will have a role that makes him close to them, but I introduced him as one of the side characters, as one of these guys, remember? http://nickinamerica...-Bios-425392381 I will introduce new waves of Matoran "sets" in the future, and some of them may become Toa someday, as well. It's just that I liked Tenius so much that he ended up being swept up and taken along for the ride, and now, he's such a big part of it that... sigh. Yeah, I may have screwed this up.

Uira didn't completely come out of nowhere, though. Since her first appearance in chapter 2, where she made quite the first impression of Calor, I've been foreshadowing her next appearance in little ways throughout the story, mainly by having the characters listen to her on the radio an' whatnot. It's just that by the time they went to Vo-Koro to meet her, their adventure was nearly done, and... yeah, I'm done making excuses. I'm sorry, guys. It makes me happy that you love this story, but... it's far from perfect. Believe it or not, there is a rhyme and reason behind most of this stuff that you will come to understand in time. But for now, I understand if it comes off as jerking the reader around.

As for Ahkmou... yeah, there will be an explanation for how he was able to become a Toa in spite of everything he's said, but that'll come at a later date. Right now, his job is just to look awesome.

On another note, I hope you like the new Toa designs. I'll be showing them off in a separate thing after I finish the next chapter. Yeah, I've been trying to throw you guys off with the bios for the Toa Miro (and there's still one more to go, come to think of it), even as this became the Matorans' story more than theirs. Something has gone seriously wrong behind the scenes, and now it's up to these new Toa to make things right.




So, when all is said and done... I hope you guys have enjoyed this chapter, in spite of some things in it that may be confusing.


Edited by NickonAquaMagna, May 27 2014 - 10:37 AM.

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Posted May 27 2014 - 11:42 AM

I would be lying if I didn't expect this turnout, and while I do like it, I keep thinking back to Legends of Metru Nui. A prosperous world where the Toa have gone missing for unexplained reasons, so a new team is created to find the missing Toa and also face down the unexplained danger that's already starting to come out of the shadows.

 

Heck, the way the Turaga are acting now makes me think of Teridax when he was disguised as Dume, and you have two monsters chasing the heroes. Krekka and Nidhiki, much?

 

Okay, okay, that's a nitpick. I'm not in any way saying this is a rip-off of Legends of Metru Nui, it was just something that struck me as I read this chapter.

 

And with that said, I do like the progression the story's taken since I last left a comment. Ahkmou has, as you rightly assumed, more or less become the star, I don't think it's a big stretch to assume that he's gonna be the leader of the team. I enjoy the incredibly mechanical descriptions you give him, sort of just to highlight how much more organic these new Matoran are.

 

Uira hasn't had enough "screentime" yet for us to really get to know her, but she seems fine from what I've seen, and I liked that little whistle-trick she pulled. She's gonna be the daredevil of the group, I imagine.

 

Mieli is the resident mystic/gentle soul, and she's good for what her purpose has been so far; to point the way for the group. And I will give props that she seems to be more of a "doer" than those characters usually tend to be, what with her acting on her visions more or less on her own accord.

 

Calor is Vakama if his attitude was more "alright, fine" rather than "I'm a failure", it's sort of the same, but it's different enough that Calor is still his own person.

 

Imber has actually become my second favorite after Ahkmou, there's just something about her attitude that I really like. Moreover she's also one of the character's that's done the most so far and really had some good scenes dedicated to her.

 

Tenius is the one who holds the factual answers, but is also not a chicken when worse come to worst.

 

Silva, much like Uira, I don't really have an opinion on yet, he seems... nice.  :notsure:

 

So, yeah, it's good, and I'm enjoying it. Keep going.

 

Just promise me there won't be any reptilian robocops in this story, alright? Cool.  :P


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#134 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted May 27 2014 - 12:04 PM

I would be lying if I didn't expect this turnout, and while I do like it, I keep thinking back to Legends of Metru Nui. A prosperous world where the Toa have gone missing for unexplained reasons, so a new team is created to find the missing Toa and also face down the unexplained danger that's already starting to come out of the shadows.

 

Heck, the way the Turaga are acting now makes me think of Teridax when he was disguised as Dume, and you have two monsters chasing the heroes. Krekka and Nidhiki, much?

 

Okay, okay, that's a nitpick. I'm not in any way saying this is a rip-off of Legends of Metru Nui, it was just something that struck me as I read this chapter.

 

And with that said, I do like the progression the story's taken since I last left a comment. Ahkmou has, as you rightly assumed, more or less become the star, I don't think it's a big stretch to assume that he's gonna be the leader of the team. I enjoy the incredibly mechanical descriptions you give him, sort of just to highlight how much more organic these new Matoran are.

 

Uira hasn't had enough "screentime" yet for us to really get to know her, but she seems fine from what I've seen, and I liked that little whistle-trick she pulled. She's gonna be the daredevil of the group, I imagine.

 

Mieli is the resident mystic/gentle soul, and she's good for what her purpose has been so far; to point the way for the group. And I will give props that she seems to be more of a "doer" than those characters usually tend to be, what with her acting on her visions more or less on her own accord.

 

Calor is Vakama if his attitude was more "alright, fine" rather than "I'm a failure", it's sort of the same, but it's different enough that Calor is still his own person.

 

Imber has actually become my second favorite after Ahkmou, there's just something about her attitude that I really like. Moreover she's also one of the character's that's done the most so far and really had some good scenes dedicated to her.

 

Tenius is the one who holds the factual answers, but is also not a chicken when worse come to worst.

 

Silva, much like Uira, I don't really have an opinion on yet, he seems... nice.  :notsure:

 

So, yeah, it's good, and I'm enjoying it. Keep going.

 

Just promise me there won't be any reptilian robocops in this story, alright? Cool.  :P

 

Eheh... there's actually a third titan, but he hasn't appeared yet.

 

Yeah, Legends of Metru Nui came to mind for me too, when I was working on this. The story at large won't play out quite like that, but when a group of Matoran is summoned to become Toa, there's only so many ways such a scene can go.

 

I'm glad you see Mieli this way. Too often, characters like her just sit around being cryptic when they aren't really that wise at all, and they just come off as useless and annoying. Mieli actually... DOES things.

 

The way you described Calor is spot on. XD He's a homebody and all that, but he's more of a "Psssht, yeah, whatever, dude" kinda guy at times, and I hope that will make him feel a tad more well rounded and wordly in time. I love Vakama, I really do, but I don't want Calor to be a caricature of him.

 

Imber is one of my faves, too. She's just cool.

 

As for Silva... yeah, unfortunately, he's the LEAST developed of the group, even though he's had so much more screentime than Uira, who seems to have made a good first impression you, at the very least. How do I put this? Writing Uira, in the time that she has been with has, has been fun for me. Writing Silva, on the other hand, has been quite boring. there just isn't much I can do with him at the moment. There is a "purpose" for Silva, and he will have development, but unfortunately, there just isn't room for it at this point in the story. He's the most naive of the group, the most grounded in what he sees as "the old ways," and that makes it hard for him to move forward, even after seeing and hearing the crazy things he has. Being a Toa, however, will give him a new lease on life. His devlopment will come about as he interacts with the, at this point, nihilistic Ahkmou and goes on adventures as a Toa, learning the ways of the world and how it really is. The two are opposites that way, but they are bound by Ahkmou's truths.

 

And, uh... reptiliant Robocops? I don't know what you're talking about.

 

As for Ahkmou, who I've saved for last... I think that, with this chapter, a lot of people will relate to him on a level they didn't think was possible. So far, he's been the character we latch onto the most because he's the most familiar to us. He's like an old friend now, and we explore this strange new world with him. However, his whole speech about how destiny is a farce and everything is cold and artificial and meaningless an' all that is a point of view that's very close to how some of the more jaded Bionicle fans out there feel. It's cool to see what Mata Nui really is an' all that, but how many times have you heard people reminiscing about the good ol' days when they didn't know, and were happier for it? When things were mysterious and otherwordly to us, that was the fun fo it. But as we learned more about how the world of Bionicle ACTUALLY is... it kind of killed that special mysticism. It made Bionicle less magical. And it really isn't a bad thing, it's just something that can't be helped. Well... in any case, I'm sure a lot of people who do feel this way can see where Ahkmou's coming from. It's like he's one of us oldschool Bionicle fans, now.


Edited by NickonAquaMagna, May 27 2014 - 12:12 PM.

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Posted May 27 2014 - 01:01 PM

The "reptilian Robocops" thing was a thinly veiled jab at the Vahki, haha. :P


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#136 Offline Toa Onaku

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Posted May 27 2014 - 05:07 PM

Man, the designs of these toa are simply astonishing.

 

It seems to me that Ahkmou may just have more of an idea about what he's doing, seeing as how first of all, he's had much more contact with toa, and second of all, he's much older and experienced.

 

Also, I noticed that you drew the five toa without toa tools, but drew Ahkmou with one, but I guess it's just due to the different situations. All in all, this chapter is just FANTASTIC.

 

One question though; do you have the story planned (even roughly) a couple of arcs ahead? It seems like you do, but I'm still curious.

 

Best of luck, man.


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#137 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted May 27 2014 - 05:48 PM

Man, the designs of these toa are simply astonishing.

 

It seems to me that Ahkmou may just have more of an idea about what he's doing, seeing as how first of all, he's had much more contact with toa, and second of all, he's much older and experienced.

 

Also, I noticed that you drew the five toa without toa tools, but drew Ahkmou with one, but I guess it's just due to the different situations. All in all, this chapter is just FANTASTIC.

 

One question though; do you have the story planned (even roughly) a couple of arcs ahead? It seems like you do, but I'm still curious.

 

Best of luck, man.

 

I have a vague outline of several future arcs planned. In fact, you could say I already have an idea of how the whole story is going to go. It'll just take a while to chew through everything. Not QUITE as long as it took for Mata Nui to be awakened, but you know.

 

Anyway, thanks.


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#138 Offline Jovan2

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Posted May 27 2014 - 07:23 PM

"Choose your own destiny"? What, like he did in Adventures #2? I was kind of surprised that Calor wasn't an Av-Matoran, to be honest. I feel that these monsters go into and out of unconsciousness a little too easy.


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#139 Offline Click

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Posted May 28 2014 - 02:04 AM

First off, just a few typos I noticed in the last two chapters:
 
Chapter 10:

...but what they are doing to stifle our people, and your people especially, is criminal, whether they see it that way ro not.
 

He knew right away from the look in Matoran's eyes that the he'd heard enough.
 

...and about the stone that fell from their hands to his
 

Period missing

This contact with him triggered something within Mieli that filled her find with images from another time.
 

Immediately, it stated picking up Vo-Matoran broadcasts.
 

 
Chapter 11

...and at the end of its long, tube-like neck, it a tiny mouth and many eyes protruding on stalks that waved around...
 

Mieli and the others began to panicc.
 

There, they found an alter, the Toa Suva
 

No flash of flight enveloping him or any of the other Matoran...
 

You make it sound niave to believe in the Elder Spirits, yet you believe in the impossible?"
 

The former Matorans'sudden change in height and proportions made even walking disorienting.
 

The fiver were at a loss, when suddenly, they heard the footsteps of yet another behind them.
 

He was tall and bulky and ruggid, with a body like a tank.
 

 
And I think there was one place you misspelled Uira, but I can't find it. There were a few other things, but they were mostly stylistic nitpicks, and I won't trouble you with them.
 
I feel like these chapters have been really too convenient. Uira happens to be walking at the docks and happens to just jump into the boat with them. The ramming happens to knock the swimming Rahi out, and then the flying Rahi comes out of nowhere to wake them up. Uira happens to know a whistle that will knock the Rahi out again. The stone happens to fall out of the flying Rahi's claws. "Just one convenient thing after another," not unlike Batman's utility belt. :P Maybe some mentions beforehand of a shadow on the clouds, or Uira using her whistle might have helped.
 
The detail also seems a bit excessive. It seems like there is either too much description of things we don't really need, or it's just "this happened, then he did this, she did this..." It begins to feel a little dry and repetitive during the Rahi battle, but that is also because of the above mentioned convenience of events.
 
Now for some positives. The illustrations are amazing as always. The Toa are spectacularly designed and really look powerful. For some reason, I am particularly drawn to Silva's design. He just seems more unique and cool-looking. You also are showing how versatile your pieces can be, with Calor and Mieli's shoulderpads (also seen on Ledas, and looking amazing in every case), the Metru chestplates everywhere, and of course the classic pieces like Silva's Rahkshi legs and Uira's Inika armor. I really want to see these guys as sets. Hopefully, if they ever get designed in set form, they can capture the fantastic color layering you have here, where each area is not just one shade of blue or red, but all sorts of shades overlapping and adding a great new look and depth to the drawing.
 
Of course, Ahkmou looks awesome. Finally he's a Toa, and actually on the good side this time! His character has developed so much over the course of this story. I had an idea with the Chronicler's Company against him, but now I'm having a hard time picturing him as the evil, disillusioned Matoran we all knew him as. Also, the description of him is great and really drives home the power and mechanical nature of Ahkmou now that he is a Toa.
 
I also appreciated the mentions of previous story. I laughed when I read Hafu's inscription. That just seems like classic Hafu. I'm not sure I want to know how he ever became a Toa.
 
Don't let those negative comments get you down though. They are relatively minor things even people that have been writing for years struggle with. I just wanted to bring it to your attention so you can work on it a bit. This story is already so excellent, and you've nailed the one thing I always struggle with: character development. Your characters in general are fantastic, as you quickly introduce us to their personalities in just a few lines. I wish I had your talent for that. I can't wait to see what's coming next, and I hope you'll finish more Bios soon.
 
I'm still planning on finishing modelling some of these masks and gear for 3D printing. I just haven't had the time to get the necessary preparations done. Hopefully I'll have time over the summer!

Edited by Click, May 28 2014 - 07:54 AM.

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#140 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted May 28 2014 - 07:47 AM

First off, just a few typos I noticed in the last two chapters:

 

Chapter 10:

...but what they are doing to stifle our people, and your people especially, is criminal, whether they see it that way ro not.

 

He knew right away from the look in Matoran's eyes that the he'd heard enough.

 

...and about the stone that fell from their hands to his

 

Period missing

This contact with him triggered something within Mieli that filled her find with images from another time.

 

Immediately, it stated picking up Vo-Matoran broadcasts.

 

 

Chapter 11

...and at the end of its long, tube-like neck, it a tiny mouth and many eyes protruding on stalks that waved around...

 

Mieli and the others began to panicc.

 

There, they found an alter, the Toa Suva

 

No flash of flight enveloping him or any of the other Matoran...

 

You make it sound niave to believe in the Elder Spirits, yet you believe in the impossible?"

 

The former Matorans'sudden change in height and proportions made even walking disorienting.

 

The fiver were at a loss, when suddenly, they heard the footsteps of yet another behind them.

 

He was tall and bulky and ruggid, with a body like a tank.

 

 

And I think there was one place you misspelled Mieli, but I can't find it. There were a few other things, but they were mostly stylistic nitpicks, and I won't trouble you with them.

 

I feel like these chapters have been really too convenient. Uira happens to be walking at the docks and happens to just jump into the boat with them. The ramming happens to knock the swimming Rahi out, and then the flying Rahi comes out of nowhere to wake them up. Uira happens to know a whistle that will knock the Rahi out again. The stone happens to fall out of the flying Rahi's claws. "Just one convenient thing after another," not unlike Batman's utility belt. :P Maybe some mentions beforehand of a shadow on the clouds, or Uira using her whistle might have helped.

 

The detail also seems a bit excessive. It seems like there is either too much description of things we don't really need, or it's just "this happened, then he did this, she did this..." It begins to feel a little dry and repetitive during the Rahi battle, but that is also because of the above mentioned convenience of events.

 

Now for some positives. The illustrations are amazing as always. The Toa are spectacularly designed and really look powerful. For some reason, I am particularly drawn to Silva's design. He just seems more unique and cool-looking. You also are showing how versatile your pieces can be, with Calor and Mieli's shoulderpads (also seen on Ledas, and looking amazing in every case), the Metru chestplates everywhere, and of course the classic pieces like Silva's Rahkshi legs and Uira's Inika armor. I really want to see these guys as sets. Hopefully, if they ever get designed in set form, they can capture the fantastic color layering you have here, where each area is not just one shade of blue or red, but all sorts of shades overlapping and adding a great new look and depth to the drawing.

 

Of course, Ahkmou looks awesome. Finally he's a Toa, and actually on the good side this time! His character has developed so much over the course of this story. I had an idea with the Chronicler's Company against him, but now I'm having a hard time picturing him as the evil, disillusioned Matoran we all knew him as. Also, the description of him is great and really drives home the power and mechanical nature of Ahkmou now that he is a Toa.

 

I also appreciated the mentions of previous story. I laughed when I read Hafu's inscription. That just seems like classic Hafu. I'm not sure I want to know how he ever became a Toa.

 

Don't let those negative comments get you down though. They are relatively minor things even people that have been writing for years struggle with. I just wanted to bring it to your attention so you can work on it a bit. This story is already so excellent, and you've nailed the one thing I always struggle with: character development. Your characters in general are fantastic, as you quickly introduce us to their personalities in just a few lines. I wish I had your talent for that. I can't wait to see what's coming next, and I hope you'll finish more Bios soon.

 

I'm still planning on finishing modelling some of these masks and gear for 3D printing. I just haven't had the time to get the necessary preparations done. Hopefully I'll have time over the summer!

 

I've fixed all of those slip ups. Thanks for pointing them out. Believe it or not, I usually proof read these two or three times before uploading them, but because they're so long, I always get so caught up in the story that I don't notice all of the little things like that. Some of them, sure, but there's always something that slips past me.

 

Anyway... About Uira being on the dock at just the right time, there is an explanation for that... but we won't get around to it for a while. Also, the winged Rahi was flying over the storms for a while, waiting to pounce on the Matoran. When the other Rahi was hit by the boat and screeched, that's when the winged Rahi knew to make a move and jump in. I guess the problem with the whole scene with the Rahi is that I'm writing it like it's a scene in one of my comics. See, my comics are more like storyboards for a movie than comics in their own right, if I'll be honest. I put a lot of thought into how the fight scenes an' whatnot are choreographed, but I can safely say they look much better when drawn than they would SOUND if I wrote down every movement made. In fact, if I wrote a typical fight or chase scene down, it would probably sound kinda dumb. This looks like such a case. The winged Rahi dropping the stone was a "whoopsie!" sort of moment, and Imber crashing the boat into the other Rahi may've seemed more tense if I'd drawn it happening over several panels, and it's supposed to be a really cool moment for Imber. These sorts of scenes in general would go by much more quickly if I did it as a comic, but I guess something was lost in translation, so to say? Do you see what I'm getting at at all?

 

Anyway, thanks.


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#141 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted May 30 2014 - 11:47 AM

Chapter 12 is online! http://nickinamerica...er-12-457418024

 

calor_on_fire_by_nickinamerica-d7kc1o0.j

 

 

Pretty crazy, huh? Now you see what those vents all over his body are for.

I don't really have much to say about this chapter, come to think of it. I just hope people like how the Toa Novus' first battle went.

Over the next few days, I'm going to make something of a presentation for these new Toa, much like the material I uploaded before beginning the story. I'll explain what their masks do, what their Toa tools are, and all that stuff.

After that, I'm sorry to say I'll need to take a break before making any more of these. Yeah, I'm sorry, but I need to tend to other things for a while. But hey, we're about halfway through this first story arc, now. I'll get around to the rest of it in a few months. The second half of the "Mystery" arc will, as you can imagine, center around the new Toa as they master their abilities and learn more about their true enemies and what's become of the Toa that preceded them. I realize that as Matoran, not all of these characters were really that developed, but they'll develop quite a bit as Toa, if all goes well.

So, with all that in mind, how was the first half of "Year One?" What's your impression of this world and the people in it as of this point?


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#142 Offline Click

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Posted May 30 2014 - 03:38 PM

Just two typos I saw:

 

The would be fun.
Something is seriously wrong woth...well, everything...

 

 

Great chapter! The action was much better this time around, and it's great seeing the Toa learn their new powers. Their Kanohi are still a bit unclear though. Let me see if I have this straight:

Ahkmou: Kanohi Rau, Mask of Translation

Mieli: I don't know. I was thinking Mask of Telepathy, but that's a bit redundant. Mask of Clairvoyance perhaps, as hinted earlier?

Imber: Kanohi Pakari, Mask of Strength? Or is it some kind of Mask of Kinectics, making her able to increase/decrease momentum drastically? That would be cool.

Uira: Kanohi Kadin, Mask of Flight.

Silva: Is that really a Kanohi Jutlin, Mask of Corruption? Isn't that immoral?

Calor: Mask of Incorporeal Flame, as mentioned earlier in the concept art topic.

 

I'm not sure where Uira got her bow, or why the other Toa don't have tools yet, but looks pretty awesome so far.

 

The illustration of Calor using his mask looks awesome. It does explain his design a bit better. I was wondering why he didn't have as much of a fiery motif.

 

The naming part seemed a bit abrupt, but why put off to tomorrow what you can do today?

 

Tenius being the Chronicler is awesome. It really adds in that extra bit of nostalgia and classic Mata Nui era feel to this story that you are so good at putting in.

 

The mysterious enemy is sounding much more interesting. My first thought was Great Beings, but I'm not sure. It would fit them for most aspects of the characters and would be awesome to have a rogue GB out there wreaking havoc. It would also be a great way to reference the old story and fill in a bit more of Ahkmou's past for those that don't know (if this were a set line). It doesn't quite seem your style though. This "conditioning" sounds really sinister though.

 

Overall, this comic continues to impress me. I don't read many comics on this forum, but somehow, I've become really devoted to this one. The art style is fantastic, not too complicated, but enough to look great. Your style is a bit different from most Bionicle artists I've seen, but I really like the elemental motifs in the armor. I may have to borrow some of your designs in my drawing. :D The story is great, and as I said earlier, you know how to develop a character. I can't wait to see what you do with the other Toa.


Edited by Click, May 30 2014 - 03:41 PM.

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#143 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted May 30 2014 - 04:29 PM

Just two typos I saw:

 

The would be fun.
Something is seriously wrong woth...well, everything...

 

 

Great chapter! The action was much better this time around, and it's great seeing the Toa learn their new powers. Their Kanohi are still a bit unclear though. Let me see if I have this straight:

Ahkmou: Kanohi Rau, Mask of Translation

Mieli: I don't know. I was thinking Mask of Telepathy, but that's a bit redundant. Mask of Clairvoyance perhaps, as hinted earlier?

Imber: Kanohi Pakari, Mask of Strength? Or is it some kind of Mask of Kinectics, making her able to increase/decrease momentum drastically? That would be cool.

Uira: Kanohi Kadin, Mask of Flight.

Silva: Is that really a Kanohi Jutlin, Mask of Corruption? Isn't that immoral?

Calor: Mask of Incorporeal Flame, as mentioned earlier in the concept art topic.

 

I'm not sure where Uira got her bow, or why the other Toa don't have tools yet, but looks pretty awesome so far.

 

The illustration of Calor using his mask looks awesome. It does explain his design a bit better. I was wondering why he didn't have as much of a fiery motif.

 

The naming part seemed a bit abrupt, but why put off to tomorrow what you can do today?

 

Tenius being the Chronicler is awesome. It really adds in that extra bit of nostalgia and classic Mata Nui era feel to this story that you are so good at putting in.

 

The mysterious enemy is sounding much more interesting. My first thought was Great Beings, but I'm not sure. It would fit them for most aspects of the characters and would be awesome to have a rogue GB out there wreaking havoc. It would also be a great way to reference the old story and fill in a bit more of Ahkmou's past for those that don't know (if this were a set line). It doesn't quite seem your style though. This "conditioning" sounds really sinister though.

 

Overall, this comic continues to impress me. I don't read many comics on this forum, but somehow, I've become really devoted to this one. The art style is fantastic, not too complicated, but enough to look great. Your style is a bit different from most Bionicle artists I've seen, but I really like the elemental motifs in the armor. I may have to borrow some of your designs in my drawing. :D The story is great, and as I said earlier, you know how to develop a character. I can't wait to see what you do with the other Toa.

 

Mieli wears the mask of clairvoyance. Imber wears the mask of density control, which she can use to make herself as light as a feather, or as heavy as a mountain. Calor wears the masks of elements or... whatever it should be called. It allows the wearer to BECOME their element, which, depending on the Toa, can lead to some desirable or undesirable results. In this case, Calor was using it at a low level that caused flames to erupt from his body. At full power, it would transform his entire body into fire, like the human torch.

 

As for Jutlin... times have changed. I dunno, I just thought it would be really fitting for a Toa that makes things grow to also be able to make non-living things disappear.

 

Anyway, thanks for everything.


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#144 Offline Pohatu: Master of Stone

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Posted May 30 2014 - 09:13 PM

Does Uira have an electric guitar-axe?


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#145 Offline Jovan2

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Posted May 30 2014 - 09:36 PM

A Kanohi Jutlin isn't immoral. All it does is corrode inorganic materials. It's just as evil as a Pakari. Considering that Mieli was a Matoran, she wouldn't be able to get anything from a Mask of Clairvoyance except a feeling of empowerment. Matoran receiving visions from a higher power isn't unprecedented. I don't know if telekinesis is part of a Toa of Psionics' powers, though. And I'm still surprised that Calor wasn't an Av-Matoran.


Edited by Jovan2, May 30 2014 - 09:37 PM.

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#146 Online Geardirector

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Posted May 31 2014 - 02:01 AM

Actually, that's not the whole story. The Jutlin was originally considered immoral, but only due to its association with the Makuta, namely Antroz.

 

Given how detached this world is from the old one, a Jutlin now being an acceptable mask makes perfect sense.


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#147 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted May 31 2014 - 07:34 AM

Toa of Psionics do have some telekinesis (think Psychic Pokemon like Alakazam), but it's not as strong as the actual mask of Telekinesis.

 

As for Calor... I just don't want to redo Takua's story.

 

And as for Uira... hey, maybe. Why not? She could make some sick jams now, I'd bet.


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Posted May 31 2014 - 09:08 AM

Toa of Psionics do have some telekinesis (think Psychic Pokemon like Alakazam), but it's not as strong as the actual mask of Telekinesis.

 

OK, where exactly do you get this from? As far as I know the element Psionics covers all facets of mental control/projection/communication equally, it's an elemental power after all. The Kanohi Matatu, rather, I'd always thought was weaker than what a fully realized Ce-Toa could muster.


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#149 Offline Jovan2

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Posted May 31 2014 - 09:19 AM

As for Calor... I just don't want to redo Takua's story.

 

Yeah, but when Mieli said that Calor "wasn't a Ta-Matoran" it was a bit misleading. Is there something else about him, or is it a remnant from an aborted arc? I'm also interested to see how a Toa Novus is different from an regular Toa. Special Toa stones make special Toa, after all.


Edited by Jovan2, May 31 2014 - 09:22 AM.

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#150 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted May 31 2014 - 10:51 AM

 

As for Calor... I just don't want to redo Takua's story.

 

Yeah, but when Mieli said that Calor "wasn't a Ta-Matoran" it was a bit misleading. Is there something else about him, or is it a remnant from an aborted arc? I'm also interested to see how a Toa Novus is different from an regular Toa. Special Toa stones make special Toa, after all.

 

 

She was just saying that he doesn't act as gruff and firey as Ta-Matoran typically do at the time. He has an unusually laid-back personality. It's like the "real scottsman" fallacy.


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#151 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Jun 02 2014 - 10:54 AM

I've decided to post these in comics thread as well, given their relevance to... well, everything.

 

ahkmou_mugshot_by_nickinamerica-d7kqnda.
 

"The Leader."

Finally, a Toa of Stone who's actually brown.

While his Kanohi hasn't changed much from his Matoran design in this story, I tried to make it resemble a Great Rau about as much as it previously resembled a Noble Rau... which isn't really much, but still... I just hope it's an interesting design.

 

mieli_mugshot_by_nickinamerica-d7kqnf7.j

 

"The Mystic."

I love the color schemes of Ce-Matoran and Toa of Psionics. So Striking...

Mieli's Kanohi is actually kind of awkward-looking, the more I think about it. It's basically an evolution of Gresh's helmet in terms of design, and I guess it looks fine from the side. It's just kinda hard to get it right from the front. I love the eye-holes, though.

 

calor_mugshot_by_nickinamerica-d7kqne4.j

 

"The Fuse."

More in a literal sense than in terms of personality, I guess, given his powers.

I'm really happy with how this Kanohi turned out.  There's not much else I can say about it.

 

uira_mugshot_by_nickinamerica-d7kqngs.jp

 

"The Daredevil."

A Toa of Lightning is something I've wanted to include in a Toa team for a long time, and the mask of flight seemed like a perfect fit for such a character.

As far as "feminizing" previous masculine-looking Kanohi goes, doing so to a Kanohi Kadin was surprisingly easy, probably because of how expressive the mask already is. I really wanted her to look like a punk rocker or something, so I made the spikes on the top less straight, more crazy-looking. Uira's just really fun to draw in general.

 

silva_mugshot_by_nickinamerica-d7kqnfo.j

 

"The Idealist."

Felt like mixing things up with making the token green guy a Toa of... well, "the green."

While Silva hasn't been the most stand out character so far, I think his mask is probably the best. Then again, it is based on an already great design, the Kanohi Jutlin. A lot of people seem to think using this mask is immoral, but I don't really see why. This mask has gone through the most changes out of all the Toa Novus' mask, but with this, I think I've finally got it just right. Doesn't he just look fierce, wearing this?

 

imber_mugshot_by_nickinamerica-d7kqnes.j

 

"The Standard."

The standard that most strive to meet but often fail to, you know?

Imber, a model Toa of water and ideal Toa in general, is the most selfless and ready of the Toa Novus, exuding a zeal for all it entails that few can match.

This is the most organic-looking of all the masks, with fins and curves everywhere. She was the first Matoran I designed for the story, and her mask is one of those that' stuck with me the most since I started this whole project.

 

Well, that's all there is to see for now. So, whatcha' think, guys? Of course I'll be making bios, full body shots an' the like, but for now, think of this as a teaser you'd see in a Lego magazine, back in the day.


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#152 Offline Jovan2

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Posted Jun 02 2014 - 07:55 PM

Calor's mask isn't appearing. I think you did great work on all of the masks, but the front view of Imber's mask is a bit horizontally stretched, especially at the top.


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#153 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Jun 03 2014 - 11:22 AM

Calor's mask isn't appearing. I think you did great work on all of the masks, but the front view of Imber's mask is a bit horizontally stretched, especially at the top.

 

It isn't? Huh, wonder why. As for Imber, I understand that her mask didn't turn out that great, but you've really gotta keep in mind that it's mostly stretchy flaps spread out over her actual, much smaller head. It's like she's wearing a kite on her face.


Here's a better view of the second altar hidden inside the Toa Suva in the sanctum, where Ahkmou, Calor and the others place the Nova stones that transform them into a new team of Toa.

 

nova_suva_text_by_nickinamerica-d7kv7z2.

 

This is a graphic that I'm going to use in a few upcoming pieces showing off the Toa Novus. I'll be using a textless version for that, so here's the whole thing. Just think of it like it's a teaser you'd see on the back of a lego magazine or Bionicle comic. :D


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#154 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Jun 10 2014 - 11:00 AM

This post is gonna be a big one. This is gonna be a presentation of the next line, kinda like the opening post.

 

toa_novus_group_by_nickinamerica-d7lsgw9

 

Sorry their quotes are too low-res to be readable. here's the real version. http://nickinamerica...llage-459863734

 

So yeah, this is another one of those things meant to feel like something you'd see in a Lego Magazine or halfway through a Bionicle Comic.

 

Now, for the individual character bios.

 

Toa Calor bio http://nickinamerica...r-Bio-459609035

 

calor_bio_complete_by_nickinamerica-d7ls

 

Yeeeeeaaah, lava surfing FTW. I thought it would be neat to show him with his power in action, propelling himself like his body is a rocket.
 

 

 

 

Toa Mieli http://nickinamerica...i-bio-459376854

 

mieli_bio_complete_by_nickinamerica-d7ls

 

This piece is the most simple. Didn't even give her a proper Toa Tool... which, if this was a real toy, I guess I'd HAVE to, but the main draw of the figure would simply be pretty and unique it is.

 

 

 

 

Toa Ahkmou bio http://nickinamerica...u-bio-459152467

 

ahkmou_bio_complete_by_nickinamerica-d7l

 

Time for some nostalgia! I've been looking forward to this one.

His pose isn't the most wild and crazy, but I think it fits him. He looks more sure of himself than he ever has.  We also get a better look at his weapon, that hammer. Yeah, it's kinda like Onewa's hammer, but doesn't it remind you of something else?

...Yeah, it's basically the chisel from the Mata Nui Online Game, only supersized and on the end of a stick.

And yes... he made all that stuff in the background.

 

 

 

Toa Uira bio http://nickinamerica...a-Bio-458715466

 

uira_bio_complete_by_nickinamerica-d7lsg

 

I had fun with this one. I just tried to imagine what the canister "box" art would've looked like back in the day if one of the Toa from those early years was a Toa of Lightning. It would probably be something like this.

I think Uira may be my favorite of the bunch, to be honest. She's just so fun.

 

 

 

 

http://nickinamerica...r-bio-458933119

 

imber_bio_complete_by_nickinamerica-d7ls

 

I'm pretty happy with how this one turned out, overall, but there are some little things about it that bug me. Oh well.

Her Toa tools combine at the ends to make a halberd, kinda like a Rahkshi staff. Separately, she can use them as oars to steer herself while swimming.
 

 

 

 

Toa Silva bio http://nickinamerica...a-Bio-458435068

 

toa_silva_bio_complete__by_nickinamerica

 

This should give you guys some idea of who Silva is. I know this kind of character isn't going to click with everybody, but there are certain people I'm sure will find him deeply relatable.

I also delved into the whole "be your element" thing, what with Silva having to learn to be spontaneous and free an' all that. It's like he's a little bud that's just finally starting to blossom as a Toa.

 

 

 

 

 

Well, that's it! Got a coupla' more things to share in the coming days, but watcha guys think of the Toa Novus so far?


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#155 Offline Pohatu: Master of Stone

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Posted Jun 10 2014 - 12:53 PM

I was looking back at the older posts here and I found a picture of Uira! Did the other Toa Novus have their designs set down, and did you know what their names were when you made it?


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rahkshitoa.pngCredit to Voxumo for the sprite of my self-moc!

 

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#156 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Jun 12 2014 - 09:48 AM

No, I didn't have the other Toa Novus designed that early on. Uira was just one of the first Toa designs to come together like that.

 

On another note...

 

Aside from Toa Zyvys' bio, which I still have to do, this is going to be the last update you get for a while.

 

This image is going to be my new sig. Watcha' think?

 

nova_orbis_sig_2_2_by_nickinamerica-d7m2

 

And on another note...

 

Remember all those songs Cryoshell did back in the day, in Bionicle's later years?

Yeah... when I heard this song, it took a while for it to click with me, but it did. Lyrics like "Forever, and a lifetime" seem to fit the new world perfectly. It's not their best song, but it seems appropriate to kick off this new story with.

I understand if the people in the band want to move on from all this Bionicle junk and not have it be part of their image anymore, so they can be taken more seriously in the mainstream music world, but... come on. What's done is done. That's what they are, at least to us, and we love 'em that way.

So, hey, let's just have fun and... PRETEND that this song is the theme for this wave of pretend Bionicle "sets," you know? It's all pretend...

 

toa_novus_trigger_full_by_nickinamerica-

 

(lyrics are owned by Cryoshell... of course)

 

If they're hard to read, here's the hi-res version. http://nickinamerica...-full-460309112

 

 

Well... that's it for now.

 

I hope this has been a fun ride so far.

 

BTW.... how to I make my sig clickable, so it links to this thread?


Edited by NickonAquaMagna, Jun 12 2014 - 09:53 AM.

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#157 Offline The Legendary TNT

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Posted Jun 12 2014 - 11:41 AM

To make a Sig linkable, first embed the image per usual. Then select the image and click the chain icon. Paste the topic url into the box that appears. Then hit ok.

I just want to say that this is a phenomenal project you got going. The story is wonderful and the imagery is fantastic. I wish you the best of luck on this endeavor you have here!

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#158 Offline NickonAquaMagna

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Posted Jun 12 2014 - 12:23 PM

Thanks. Took a few tries, but I got the sig to work right.

 

Also, thanks a bunch. Great Spirit be willing, I'm gonna be at this for years.


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#159 Offline The Legendary TNT

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Posted Jun 12 2014 - 03:58 PM

Thanks. Took a few tries, but I got the sig to work right.
 
Also, thanks a bunch. Great Spirit be willing, I'm gonna be at this for years.

I know how that is. Assuming I have the opportunity that I want, I'll be working on mine for, maybe 10 years? I don't know your estimate for your series, but hopefully I can shave mine down a couple years. But anyway, it's nice to see the beginning of a long saga that isn't mine and follows different concept. Keep up the creativity and people will eat your stuff up. :)

Edited by The Legendary TNT, Jun 12 2014 - 03:59 PM.

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#160 Offline Toa Onaku

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Posted Jun 13 2014 - 10:55 AM

I think the song fits well, but I have to ask, do you have an endgame in mind for this "season" at this point in time?


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