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Bionicle- Nova Orbis (new world)

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So I've finally started working on Nova Orbis again, and I whipped up this amusing exchange between Piras and Vezon discussing (and critiquing) fleshy people like us, and delving into their own origins while they're at it. Enjoy this scene. Consider it a longer than usual preview of the next chapter.



"So that's where babies come from."

"Incredible... and perplexing," Piras commented as Vezon finished informing him about the flesh people's method of... continuing. "I mean, I knew these 'fleshies' reproduced by some means. There are many fully organic animal species around Miro Nui, mostly fish, who do the same thing. But the way these natives change as they grow, spending their early years as these, what did you call them?"

"Children?"

"Yeah, those. Your description of a child sounds a lot like how I'd describe a Matoran."

"They're EXACTLY like Matoran. Well, to a point, so maybe not. But their growth from childhood to adulthood is very similar to a Matoran's transformation into a Toa. It just takes longer and they don't need magic stones to do it."

"So, before, you mentioned Verlammen's father- her male parent- and her, um... grandad? Who is that?"

"Her father's father."

"Riiiight, wow, these people have really short lives."

"I know. It's funny. Back on the old world, I remember meeting people just like them, these fleshies. They were more robust, you could say. Some of them rivaled our own life spans thanks to implants that granted them unnatural strength and longevity."

"Really? And you lived alongside them for a time? Why didn't they come to the new world with us?"

"I wouldn't know. I wasn't around when you left the old world. I left, and arrived here, much earlier, and via different means."

"Okay, okay, one story at a time. So were they as different from us as these natives are, or were they more similar?"

Vezon thought for a moment.

"That's where things get weird. They were a little more like us. In fact, you modern Toa and Matoran remind me a little of those people. Aside from implants, they had no mechanics in their bodies whatsoever, though I do believe they had metal bones. In some ways, their bodies were a little more complex than ours, with about thrice as many internal organs as my generation and, hmmm.... about twice as many as yours, I'd say. I believe our creators based our design on their appearance, and to some degree, their physiology, but our bodies were more efficient. We were more streamlined, durable, and didn't require as much substanence or rest to keep working."

"And those people from the old world, they 'reproduced' the way these people do?"

"Oh lord, don't remind me. I actually walked in on such a ritual about to take place, once. It's was awkward like nothing else."

"I'd imagine so."

"And you modern types, you 'reproduced' some thousands of years ago by doing what? I didn't really catch it when a Matoran tried to get me to understand some centuries ago."

"The current generation of Matoran began life as the 'Natum.' It was a new word I don't believe existed in your time. It means newborn in the modern tongue. We also call them Protos."

"So they're essentially 'baby' Matoran? Don't tell me you people have evolved enough to-"

"No, no, it's not- well, actually it is sort of like that, in that they inherited some of the old generation's biology. They start out as empty frames, part Protodermis and part bone, and the softer organic components are grown inside the frame. The frame can even change shape a bit over time to better accommodate the organic portions of the body, even after a Natum is released from their pod."

"The the organic parts-?"

"Are grown from samples of the previous generation. Bits of organic matter donated by the likes of the Turaga and the other people of their- I mean your time."

"Hmmmm..."

"What? Have you remembered something?"

"No, just another theory, is all. How much you wanna bet some of the old desert peoples' biomass was in that mix as well? That there's a bit of them in you, and that's why you're more alike than I am."

"I never thought of that. The Turaga made no mention of such people, after all."

"They probably wanted to keep the story from getting over complicated."

"But it's not a story, is it? How did your generation come about, anyway? You say you were created, but how?"

"We were... well, it sounds a little cold to say it this way now, but there's simply no other way to say it. We were built. We were constructed, like children's toys. Our organs were synthetic. Our brains engineered. And not bio-engineering, I mean like a clock. It's not all that different from how your generation was made, but it's not all that different from how these people build their Mechanicles. Is it any wonder they mockingly call us 'robots' sometimes?"

"It does sound rather cold."

"We were never REALLY like the Mechanicles, though. At least I don't think so. We were always more alive, in some ways. All it took was someone granting us the gift of independent thought, and that's when our evolution began... and just look at you, now."

"This is a lot to take in."

"Well, I've had a lot of time to take it in. but you know, there is one thing I will never, ever get about these people."

"What is it?"

"The way they curse. They have this compulsion to constantly make reference to parts of their body, or worse, the things their bodies expel."

"Yeah, I've heard them say such things a few times. You're saying those are their swear words?"

"Yeah, and it's weird, like, they know on some level that the way their bodies function is actually REALLY disgusting, so they laugh it off, but it just comes off like they're admitting how needlessly complicated and messy their bodies are."

"Do any of these make sense to you?"

"This one's always sounded kind of funny to me, and it's about as articulate is their curses ever get, but more than a few times, usually by the new guards, I've been called 'old as $#!%."

"That..." Piras was genuinely stumped. "What does that even mean?"

"I don't know! It just sounds funny and stupid."

Piras shook his head.

"These organics are strange."

"Their entire outer body itself is an organ that carries the other organs. Just try wrapping your head around that."

"Wha-? What do you even call that?"

"I've called them many things, but I find 'meatbag' rolls off the tongue the most musically. Still, strange as they are, we're not that different. Somewhere, I realized Turaga are really just the surly grandparents of our kind."

"....Oh my gosh, they kind of are. That is so weird."









Aaaand that's it for now. I hope this scene isn't too inappropriate. Feedback is deeply appreciated.

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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"We were... well, it sounds a little cold to say it this way now, but there's simply no other way to say it. We were built. We were constructed, like children's toys..."

 

 

Clever.  Veeeeery clever.  I'm thankful that I checked back when I did.

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"They probably wanted to keep the story from getting over complicated."

 

In addition to the children's toys joke, I found this to be a beautiful nod to the later years of the G1 story. Nicely done. :P

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~Your friendly, neighborhood Shadow

 

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Yeah, this whole conversation was a chance to poke fun at G1, and also articulate things that must've crossed our minds at some point or other. Even the bit about the Turaga being the grumpy grandparents of their race is like... we've all thought that, right?

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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Great to see that Nova Orbis is slowly coming back ! I absolutely love the Venators, and I think their color-schemes are amazing.

Now I do have a little hypotheses here, not sure if I'm correct in any way, but I'll leave it in spoilers just to be sure :

 

After re-reading some of the chapters of the Journey to Caelum, I'm beginning to suspect that the so-called "fall" which caused the trenches in the ocean-floor is the moment Mata Nui was  actually falling on the planet after being ill during the Great Disruption.

It would explain why they have such a hatred towards everything related to the Bionicle.

 

Of course, this is just a hypotheses :P

 

 

 

Anyway, keep up the great work, can't wait to read more in the future !

 

-Iben

Edited by Iben
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"Unity, Duty, Destiny."
 

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I felt dissapointed when the rest of Journey to Caelum and Return Part 2 didn't make it to the end of 2016. What's the current status of Nova Orbis right now?

Edited by Blue91233

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Oh, geez... I've been away for too long.

 

I'm sorry for taking this long to get back to you, Blue91233. I've been dedicating my every waking hour to finishing my book so I can push it out as soon as possible. I promise, after that (a few months from now), I'll slow down and should have more time for Nova Orbis. It's just... this other project HAS to come first, or I don't have a future.


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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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Well, money talks, I guess. A starving Nick can't write good fanfic.

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Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things.


It's called garbage can, not garbage cannot!

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So far, I've finished a third of the book. It should be done sometime in may. It's about a cyborg girl who has autism. Her name is Minnow and she was born with four stumps, so her quality of life largely depends on what sorts of limbs she can afford at any given time. Here's some pages I've uploaded for free (the first half of the book will be free, both halves will be available on Amazon). So yeah, if anyone wants to see what I've been up to lately, here it is. The full book is 300 pages long. I'm just coloring some pages and adding text to finish them up. http://nickinamerica.deviantart.com/gallery/61793713/Planet-Ripple-My-original-series

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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Well, I'm just now starting to think about all the effects Mata Nui would have landing on a planet that's already inhabited.

 

Imagine how terrifying that would be, a robot that reaches into space landing on your world and turning into an island, claiming to be there for "exploration" and peaceful means.


I HATE SCORPIOS


 


~Pohatu Master of Stone, 2015

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Good luck with that, sounds like a good read. If you need any autism references, I have asperger's syndrome, which is a type of high-functioning autism.

 

So do I, man. I probably wouldn't be writing something like this if I didn't have my own experiences as an autistic person to draw from and share.

 

I've just finished building a Planet Ripple website for anyone who's interested. https://www.planetripple.com/

 

Well, I'm just now starting to think about all the effects Mata Nui would have landing on a planet that's already inhabited.

 

Imagine how terrifying that would be, a robot that reaches into space landing on your world and turning into an island, claiming to be there for "exploration" and peaceful means.

 

From the surface, his approach would probably look like he was there to destroy them, like in Hellstar Remina.

 

I'll get back to this story, guys. The implications of Mata Nui's possible short-lived presence on the planet go deeper than you know. I'm not going to let Nova Orbis die. It's asleep for the moment, but I'll wake it up when I have the time for it.

Edited by NickonAquaMagna

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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Great! Really looking forward to these coming chapters.


Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things.


It's called garbage can, not garbage cannot!

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I just spent most of yesterday stressing over how to continue to story after someone brought it up on DevArt. In the end, I didn't get any work done. I just gave myself a headache. I have some of the next chapter done, but darn I am having so much trouble making time for both this AND Planet Ripple and the occasional youtube vid. I'm being pulled in too many directions at once, and it's become a struggle just to actually finish anything.

Edited by NickonAquaMagna

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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Everyone.... I need a moment of your time.

 

Bionicle- Nova Orbis- Wave 2 poster by NickOnPlanetRippleToa Unda Swimming by NickOnPlanetRippleBionicle- Nova Orbis- Backgrounds by NickOnPlanetRipple
 
Years ago, in the interim between Bionicle Generations 1 and 2, when there was no G2 on the horizon, I and other fans kept Bionicle alive in our own ways. Mine was by picking up the original story thousands of years later, with a new generation of Matoran that had settled on another planet. Most of the characters were new faces, and the familiar few that did return were cast in a new light.
 
The structure was pretty simple, at first. For every six months, I'd whip up a "short" story with a "wave" of characters associated with it, trying to recreate the feeling of keeping up with the magazines in the 2000s and such. Typically three Matoran characters and a wave of Toa or villains.
 
The nostalgia factor of this came not from the scant returning elements, but that feeling of walking into an alien new world. I tried to recapture the magic of 2001 by building a great big sandbox and.... dumping viewers into it. The format was a hybrid of the comics and online serials, mostly text with an illustration here or there. And for a time? It was good. It was fun, it was special.
 
But sometimes later on, I..... fell out of it. I shifted focus to things like Planet Ripple, and worked on other projects between volumes. I just didn't have time for this. The whole idea of the format was I'd be able to tell more of the story in less space and time than, say, a comic, but even that eventually proved inefficient and I started making the illustrations and text separate to save time. Even that didn't help much, and I eventually gave up just as it was getting good.
 
And I kept telling myself I'd jump back into it eventually, but every few months I look back and attempt re-entry... and I burn up.
 
Bionicle- Nova Orbis- Welcome To My Heaven by NickOnPlanetRipple
 
I'm just gonna say it. I don't like Nova Orbis anymore. Not as it was. I've changed a lot as a writer and an artist in the last several years, and there is so much I see here that just doesn't hold up. The writing, especially. The dialog is plodding and probably SOUNDED profound to me at the time, but that just means I liked to hear my characters talk. It's downright navel-gazy. The whole IDEA of going with this format was to condense a sprawling story to be digestible, but in no time at all it became as lore-heavy as the worst parts of G1. It's a monster of walls of text and bloated conversations that don't really.... SAY much. Like there's nuggets of gold in there, but they have to be dug out. Streamlined, simplified. And to top it all, the text is all but unreadable with DeviantArt's new, darker facelift, and more websites are going that way.
 
Here are some things I would change if I took a crack at Nova Orbis nowadays.
 
Bionicle- Nova Orbis- Planet Overview by NickOnPlanetRipple
 
Make a better island. Miro Nui's just kind of ugly to me now. I could clean it up a good deal. Put a body of water inside the island like America's great lakes and have the Ga, Ce and Vo-Matoran live there, instead of away from the island.
 
Merge the tribes. I had thirteen Matoran tribes on this island, and grouped them together into about five "wahis." I'd lean into this aspect more, blending some of the tribes together into fewer "tribes" since they don't look all that different anyways, and I want to show these diverse people becoming more interwoven and getting along.
 
Fewer scenes where the Turaga are obtuse and vague just for artificial tension. This is by far the MOST ANNOYING part of reading Nova Orbis to me, now. To keep the story going and create a mystery, I basically made the Turaga Knuckles' stupid dad Locke from the Archie Sonic comics and his brotherhood of detached grandpas. I'd also include more scenes where the Toa grow frustrated with the Turaga and confront them.
 
MAKE CALOR INTERESTING. My word, what a wet blanket of a character. I tried to make him a subversion of the Toa of Fire shtick, less hot-tempered and headstrong, but..... he just came off like a really dull guy. You can make a "soft" fire character, like Vakama in 2004. You can make Toa of Fire who can't deal with the pressure of leading their own Toa teams, but the way I did it was tepid. These days, I'd make Calor... a mood. He'd be more cynical, not overbearingly, just.... disillusioned. Maybe he could even relate to Ahkmou, that'd be something.
 
And, probably the most paradoxical change of all.... I might have to make it a comic.
 
I know that sounds crazy, like "How would you find the time to adapt ALL THAT TEXT into comic form?" Simple. I wouldn't. If I were to attempt such a thing, I'd cut out a lot of lines and descriptions that  just don't need to be there. Simplify the dialog, make each line impactful and poignant, and let the scenery and expressions speak for themselves. They'd ideally be fairly short comics, "issues" like the official ones. This isn't how I normally do things these days, but I tried something similar with my old Star Fox comics and it was a good exercise in restraint if nothing else.
 
The point is, Nova Orbis is a bloated beast that I just don't think can be saved. If I ever DO reattempt it, say... in 2021, Bionicle's 20th anniversary, I'd rebuild it from the ground up. If I ever caught up to where the original story left off and picked up from there, it'd continue more or less the same, but in a more digestible format, which was really the point of Nova Orbis all along. A fresh start.
 
Now, I understand the concern some may bring up here, that I'll just end up unsatisfied with my older work every few years and keep restarting it over and over, never finishing it, but I don't see that happening. I don't find myself redoing all of my older works. There's just something about Nova Orbis in particular that's.... less compatible by the day. It really doesn't hold up. But if I can salvage what's good about it, then I'd like to try. Maybe when "The Toa" is finished. Maybe I've been going about this all wrong from the beginning.
 
We'll see.
 
A widget for your thoughts?

 

Edited by NickonAquaMagna

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The Toa- A Bionicle Retelling by NickonAquaMagna http://www.bzpower.com/board/topic/25275-the-toa-a-retelling-of-bionicle/

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I really hope the idea of Nova Orbis being a comic will work. I thought it would result in being start right from scratch.

Edited by Blue91233

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I am so excited for this new reboot. The new designs already look so much better. But is it really a good idea to tease something a year in advance?

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Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things.


It's called garbage can, not garbage cannot!

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I have not read Nova Orbis, but I've been following your "The Toa" comic since it's beginning. However, I've seen your art here and there for Nova and I've liked it. This new reboot is just what I need to want to read it! Toa Mieli looks intimidating and noble and like a Toa who can control the mind should. I especially like her Kanohi, the halo just adds something to it that adds to her ferocity.

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