Glatorian Arena

[Jaller's Crab]

Hello there, I am Jaller's Crab, and this is my comedy. I have been ill for two years with cancer and various other illnesses, so if you don't like the first few chapters, which were written by Protoss General, go to the nearest mental hospital, or just scroll down to the chapters I wrote. Here is the link to the second page: http://www.bzpower.c...ic=323082&st=40 Please read the last 6 chapters BEFORE you read this one. Chapter 16: What in the Karzahni is wrong with me ? *JC and Gresh have been running for hours now, and are half way to Zexion's lair* Boxorak: There he is, the bionicle who orchestrated the destruction of your universe, and forgot all about me for months ! Furno: Isn't he the author? Author:(In a booming voice that sweeps across the desert) Why, yes he is! A little tip guys, try not to be ironic, its like asking the universe to sucker punch you.</p> *Suddenly...The only thing that happened was that Gresh and JC became aware of the pathetic beings following them. Seriously Author, we were all expecting something funny. You've gone soft.* (The Narrator just got sucker punched by the universe. ) Okay, I will finish this chapter soon. People in charge of BZ, please don't get mad. I'm back! *Boxorak leaped out from behind the massive sand dune to engage JC, while Furno attempted to destroy Gresh.* *Furno charged Gresh at full power, but Gresh casually swatted him away. Furno started shooting Gresh with his gun, causing him to move onto defense. Changing to his Stars form, he rushed to Furno, grabbed his arm with both hands, and snapped his arm like a twig over his knee.* Furno: *Looking at the oily stump where his forearm used to be* MY ARM! THAT WAS MY GOOD ONE! *Gresh started to beat Furno using his arm.* Gresh: Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself. *Gresh switched tactics, making the arm he was holding stick out its index finger, and he started poking Furno.* Gresh: Is this bugging you? Is this bugging you? Is this bugging you? Is this bugging you? Is this bugging you? *Meanwhile* *Boxorak charged JC, who ducked between his legs and punched Boxorak in the back, sending him sprawling in the dirt. Boxorak smashed the ground, creating a targeted tremor underneath JC, throwing him dozens of feet into the sky, JC took advantage of the aerial position and brought his claws down on Boxorak's head, resulting in Boxorak being forced underground.* JC: Well, I guess that's done. *Boxorak launched himself out of the ground with a broadsword, landed in front of JC, rapidly swinging his sword. JC calmly blocked every swing, grabbed the sword from Boxorak, shoved the tip of it in the ground, then hit Boxorak with a series of rapid blows, cracking his armor in several places. JC slammed Boxorak's head on the hilt of the sword, grabbed his feet, slammed him into the dirt, and jumped on the back of his head.* Gresh: Well, the hero factory person is thoroughly beaten and irritated. JC: And Boxorak will think twice about messing with us. *Meanwhile, Sonic and Shadow have finally reached the city where Zexion is based. It is evening.* Shadow: Don't go into the shadows. Sonic: Why? *Every shadow is moving, periodically grabbing a passerby with either clawed, rusting hands, or with tentacles oozing oil. All of them have glowing eyes that follow any thing moving. Even the townspeople's shadows were trying to kill them. Which is why they were all wearing flashlights taped to the back of their heads.* Sonic: Oh. Shadow: Don't worry, I have all the Chaos Emeralds. Sonic: Thanks Shadow, that does make me feel better. Shadow: I was talking to the Emeralds. Sonic: Oh. Shadow: We have to hurry, if night falls with Zexion still in control of the city, we will be killed. Sonic: Let's head onto the rooftops, it's the brightest up there. Shadow: Agreed. *Sonic ran up the wall, while Shadow teleported. Immediately, they were surrounded by six Exo-Toa* Exo-Toa: Zexion has made it illegal to be on the rooftops, go down to the streets, or be destroyed. *Sonic leaped up to the closest Exo-Toa, curled into a ball, and spun as fast as he could, slicing the first Exo- Toa in half. Two of them shot their missiles at Sonic, who jumped onto the missile, then rushed to the guard's feet. Sonic speed up the Exo-Toa in a corkscrew fashion, cutting it up into dozens of pieces. Sonic then ran a tight circle around the last of his Exo-Toa, lifting it up dozens of feet in a tornado, then smashed through it's chest. Meanwhile, Shadow teleported up to the first of his Exo-Toa's head and unleashed a flurry of attacks, ending with a karate chop downward that split the Exo-Toa in half. He turned to the next one, and hit it with a barrage of Chaos Spears until it exploded. Shadow rushed to the last Exo-Toa, tore off its left arm with brute strength, then ripped of its right leg, and finally took off its head.* Shadow: That was just to easy.

Edited October 27, 2011 by Jaller's Crab

[Jaller's Crab]

Well, I'm a bit sad nobody replied, but whatever, here's the next chapter. Chapter 17: Now I know why nobody reads this junk! *Boxorak and Furno are recovering from their massive beating.* Boxorak: I can't believe such a little crab could be so strong and vicious. Furno: I can't believe Gresh broke my good arm. Boxorak: As soon I finish repairing my armor, I will build you a new arm. Furno: Great, you did such an awesome job with the first one. *His right arm has green spikes oozing a green, slimy material, it has six joints, and eleven fingers.* Boxorak: You may have a point there. *Meanwhile* JC: I think that might be the town up ahead. *The town appears to be enveloped in darkness, Lohrak shriek overhead, attempting to scare prey out of their homes. The sign over the entrance says "This ain't no place for no hero.".* Gresh: Nah, it can't b-WAAAAAAAHHHHH !! *Gresh just got kidnapped by one of the Lohrak.* Gresh: Put me down! *Gresh started to use his wind to increase drag on the Lohrak, while repeatedly punching it, causing the Lohrak to lash out to at Gresh. Snapping savagely at Gresh, while being forced down by the air, caused the Lohrak to fall just into JC's range with a boulder. After having the Karzahni smacked out of it by a giant rock, Th e Lohrak dropped Gresh into the village.* *Meanwhile* *Sonic and Shadow have finally made their way into the main hall of Zexion's castle.* Shadow: *Leans forward, looking at something* What's that over there? Sonic: *Moves in front of Shadow* What? *Shadow pushes Sonic into the hall* Sonic: AAAAAAHHHHH!! THEY ARE EVERY WHERE! THIS IS THE SINGLE MOST PAINFUL EXPERIENCE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME SHADOW? WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!? *The description of Sonic's wounds is rated "What is wrong with you?! Why would you want to read this?!" The author will heal Sonic, now.* Sonic: . Shadow: Quit whining, you're okay. *Shadow continually tricks Sonic into triggering the traps as they make it to Zexion's chamber. Sonic is starting to get ticked off. They finally reach his chamber, and Shadow blasts the door down.* Zexion: You could have just knocked. So, what do you want now http://www.bzpower.com/board/public/style_emoticons/default/annoyed2.gif? Sonic: We are here to stop you! Zexion: Why? Sonic: If you block out the sun, you will kill billions of creatures. Zexion: And why is that such a bad thing? Sonic: Uh... Zexion: These fools are waging a destructive war, even though they have enough materials to survive, the Kingdom of Jaller's Crab has many who are spies. Many of his council do not report the massive wars being waged. Some resent his rule. Others just want to see the world burn. I wish to cleanse all worlds with wars being waged. Then the universe will truly be at peace. Join me, and we will end all suffering. Shadow: Don't try to deceive me, you just want to gain more power to conquer more worlds. I know your type, pretending to help, when all you wish is for more destruction. Zexion: Very well, let's jus- *Shadow hit him with a full power Chaos Spear, blasting him through the wall.* Shadow: You talk to much.

Edited October 28, 2011 by Jaller's Crab

[Fractual Forever]

Hey there, JC. Remember me? I used to be [REDACTED]! Well then, sorry I wasn't able to review for a while, I've been busy. Anyway, these are some good chapters. The plot's good but the grammar could do with some help. Still, it's a comedy nonetheless. Keep up the writing, man! P.S. How's your cancer? I haven't heard about it for... months, I think?

Edited January 13, 2021 by Fractual Forever
Removing personal info

[Jaller's Crab]

I will be trying my hand at prose, and introducing a new character partially based on science. I shallelaborate at the end of this chapter.Chapter 18: Why does this always happen to me.Gresh fell through the field of darkness surrounding the village, landing with a crash. He felt atwinge coming from deep within himself, as if the happiness was slowly being drained from him. Thecrack of metal being snapped was detected off to his left. A matoran with dull, listless eyes moanedat Gresh, then started to shuffle toward him. His moan alerted other matoran, who staggeredtowards the sound."What is wrong with all of you?" Gresh whispered, evading their attempts to grab him. "Whathappened here?""rrrrraaaaaoooooooghhhg."None of them even realized that Gresh was speaking, for they were too focused on their prey."Get back." Gresh yelled, then knocked down the surrounding matoran. For every one he defeated,three more staggered towards him. Finally, one bit him, sucking the positive emotions from him.He shook it off, only to have another one grab him.*****We have him on the ropes, Shadow thought. It may be harder to strike a flying enemy, but theywere managing to do it pretty well.And just like that, the sun dipped below the horizon. Zexion allowed the cloak of darkness todissipate, revealing his face. He looked just like Shadow."Do you like it? I think this suits me perfectly!" He cackled. "In total darkness, I absorb the power and features of those who strike me, giving me more power depending on who strikes me. THIS IS MYTRUE FORM!Hitting himself, he slowly shifted, his arms lengthening, as well as becoming mechanical and clawed.His legs followed suit, and his face became blank, with no features whatsoever, while his body becamecompletely black. He had the form of a Toa Nuva!*****JC should have known that something was wrong. It took him a while to realize that all the villagers would try toattack him. Thankfully, his shell was impervious to their bites. Exactly why villagers would want to bite him isanother story entirely, one he would probably figure out by defeating Zexion. To top it all off, he hadn't seenany signs that Gresh was okay. The whole place would have been on fire, with cracked masks littering the area. As he leapt from rooftop to rooftop, a slow music started, letting him know something bad was just about tohappen. Apparently, it was the fact that they were waiting for him. It's nice to know that the band cared enoughabout JC to let him know that he was going to be eaten alive, but obviously the author wasn't as kind.*****As he ran through the jungle, his long ears trailing behind him, Jeff hoped that he wasn't too late. He heard it on Spherus Magna Tonight, that Gresh and JC had gone into Zexion's extremely well defended base, and noexplosions, no large fires, no earthquakes, nor any earth shattering punches had been detected. Which, ofcourse, was the calling card that either of them had been in the area. Maybe, just maybe, this rabbit couldchange the course of the battle. He picked up speed, and blasted through the cliff.

Edited November 9, 2011 by Jaller's Crab

[Fractual Forever]

Nice chapter, seeing as you're trying your hand at prose writing. Who knows? Maybe you'll become better at it!The plot seems to be thickening. In fact, I don't remember it being this dark before! At least you still managed to put a joke in it, or else it would have been better off at the Epic forum!

[Jaller's Crab]

Nice chapter, seeing as you're trying your hand at prose writing. Who knows? Maybe you'll become better at it!The plot seems to be thickening. In fact, I don't remember it being this dark before! At least you still managed to put a joke in it, or else it would have been better off at the Epic forum!

I swing between being light-hearted and funny, to being dark, broody, and violent.About the rabbit fighter, in Australia two brown rabbits were caught mauling king brown snakes (a non-venomous snake, but is six feet long with powerful jaws) every night for a couple of weeks. While in Britain, abunny attacked a very old woman, making hit and run attacks at her ankles until she fell. Her husband hobbledout of the house brandishing a stick, but he went down too. by the time animal control arrived, the rabbit wasattacking their faces. And we all know the story of President Jimmy Carter being attacked by a rabbit while fishing. None of these rabbits had rabies.Chapter 19: Oh come on, still nobody posting?JC's armour started to crack, ensuring that in a matter of minutes, he would be one of them. Granted, he didn'tknow exactly what the were. but he could tell it ain't pretty. He wasn't even sure matoran or glatorian even hadteeth. Maybe he just never paid enough attention. Regardless, They were using their mouths to weaken hisarmour, so who cares? At that moment, a streak of white flew past Them, rendering Their legs useless. Jeffcharged past them again, kicking up a wind that sent them all over the side of the building. However, Greshleapt on top of the roof, and started to advance on Jeff and JC, when Zexion appeared in front of them."Stop." he commanded Gresh, " Do not turn them, we shall destroy them with force.""Just one ques-"Blah, blah, blah, Shadow already asked me, I told him, go read the last couple of chapters if you want to know.""Oh, well"JC rushed Zexion, launching Zexion over a few rooftops, while Jeff jumped above Gresh and brought both fistsdown. Gresh moved at the last second, running over the rooftops. After pulling his fists out of the roof, Jeff gavechase. Naturally, all four combatants fell in step with each other."Hey, JC?" Jeff asked."Yeah?""How far does this suburban area with flat, close together roofs go on?""No idea, I think the author lengthened them so he can write an epic fight scene on the rooftops with all of usrunning very fast so that pesky stuff called "physics" doesn't get in the way." "He probably made us say all of this stuff as a sorry attempt at a joke."Zexion shapeshifted his hands into a pair of claws, and viciously slashed JC, who parried with his own attack.Gresh rushed Jeff, but Jeff jumped, and landed on Gresh, sending him plummeting through the roof. Zexionstarted to charge up a bolt of darkness, while JC grabbed Jeff, swung him around, and threw him at Zexion. Jeffgave a tremendously powerful kick to Zexion, then landed beside JC. Still running extremely fast, Gresh burstthrough the roof and rushed Jeff and JC. Jeff slid on the roof to avoid Gresh's first attack, jumped to avoidhis second, and parried his third. JC is so short, Gresh just passed right over him. To avoid his second attack,JC punched him in the face, and to dodge his third attack, JC crashed through the roof, only to come burstingout. When Gresh unleashed several blasts of wind, JC and Jeff jumped off of two adjacent pillars thatconveniently sprung up to two more pillars which they leapt off of. For Gresh's largest wind blast, they jumpedtowards each other, then leapt off of each other.*****Shadow burst through the front of the castle, battered, bruised, and weakened. Sonic soon followed, landing ontop of Shadow."Get the Karzahni off of me!" Shadow yelled."Fine.""The only way we are going to beat this guy, is with the Chaos Emeralds." Edited November 17, 2011 by Jaller's Crab

[Fractual Forever]

Sorry attempt for a joke? I LAUGHED at it! Still, it was short. At least it met 300 words, right? Right. Wait, what was that rabbit thing before the chapter? You replied to my post... which had nothing to do about rabbits. Oh well, still a fun read.Wait, this chapter isn't done yet. Never mind.

Edited November 17, 2011 by Festus

[Jaller's Crab]

Sorry attempt for a joke? I LAUGHED at it! Still, it was short. At least it met 300 words, right? Right. Wait, what was that rabbit thing before the chapter? You replied to my post... which had nothing to do about rabbits. Oh well, still a fun read.Wait, this chapter isn't done yet. Never mind.

Read it again.

[Fractual Forever]

Sorry attempt for a joke? I LAUGHED at it! Still, it was short. At least it met 300 words, right? Right. Wait, what was that rabbit thing before the chapter? You replied to my post... which had nothing to do about rabbits. Oh well, still a fun read.Wait, this chapter isn't done yet. Never mind.

Read it again.

Reread.Awesome fight scene! It was real cool to see how the battle slowly unfolded in this never ending battlefieldOf course the Chaos Emeralds are the only things that could stop him, those emeralds could make them destroy anything. Even a giant multi-dimensional creature that tried to destroy time itself

[Jaller's Crab]

Sorry attempt for a joke? I LAUGHED at it! Still, it was short. At least it met 300 words, right? Right. Wait, what was that rabbit thing before the chapter? You replied to my post... which had nothing to do about rabbits. Oh well, still a fun read.Wait, this chapter isn't done yet. Never mind.

Read it again.

Reread.Awesome fight scene! It was real cool to see how the battle slowly unfolded in this never ending battlefieldOf course the Chaos Emeralds are the only things that could stop him, those emeralds could make them destroy anything. Even a giant multi-dimensional creature that tried to destroy time itself

Wait, you've played Sonic the Hedgehog '06 ? I didn't think it was as bad of a game as everyone else. It was pretty good.

[Fractual Forever]

Sorry attempt for a joke? I LAUGHED at it! Still, it was short. At least it met 300 words, right? Right. Wait, what was that rabbit thing before the chapter? You replied to my post... which had nothing to do about rabbits. Oh well, still a fun read.Wait, this chapter isn't done yet. Never mind.

Read it again.

Reread.Awesome fight scene! It was real cool to see how the battle slowly unfolded in this never ending battlefieldOf course the Chaos Emeralds are the only things that could stop him, those emeralds could make them destroy anything. Even a giant multi-dimensional creature that tried to destroy time itself

Wait, you've played Sonic the Hedgehog '06 ? I didn't think it was as bad of a game as everyone else. It was pretty good.

Sorry, don't have a game station other than PSP Just wish I did play it, it had a cool storyline and looked real fun! I don't get what all the hate is about, other than the slow loading time and running.

[Jaller's Crab]

Chapter 19: Woohoo! 200 views!*Three zombie-like matoran are chatting on a rooftop.*"Mmmmrrrghhh." ZM1 moaned "(What in the heck is master doing! All of our dwellings and countless of ourpeople have been damaged or destroyed!)"Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhg. ZM2 grunted, "(Maybe he's just in another one of his moods. You remember whathappened when he got sand on his doorstep.)""You guys do realize we can talk, right?" said ZM3."ggggggggggggrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaarrrrrrrg. (yeah, but this is more fun.)"*Four shapes appeared over head, smashing into each other with enough force to destroy the rooftop.*"Gggrgrgrgroargh (Oh, so THAT's what's going.)" all three ZM's exclaimed before they tumbled into the abyss.*Gracefully landing after their momentary aerial battle, the combatants took off with blinding speed.*Very misfortunate zombie Agori: RRRRRRRRRRRaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhH. (I'M BLIND!!!!!)*Gresh and Jeff rushed each other, becoming invisible with such speed. They continued to hit each other withtitanic blows, without touching the ground. Chasms were growing underneath the city from such a fight. JC andZexion were doing all they could to avoid just to avoid Jeff and Gresh, or they would risk getting turned into ajelly like substance, suitable for spreading on crackers. Finally, Jeff drew his swords, while Gresh drew his, andthe air was alive with the sound of swords clashing. Zexion flew into the air, and began shooting pulses ofdarkness at JC. The chasm began to grow at an alarming rate.*******Super Sonic began circling Zexion at light speed, hoping that the light coming off of him would weaken Zexion,while Super Shadow charged up multiple Chaos Spears. Zexion grabbed Super Sonic then flew toward theground, slamming Super Sonic into the dirt. Just as Zexion was about to finish him off, Super Sonic burst free,then started punching Zexion at light-speed, then kicked him upward. As Zexion was hurled upward, SuperShadow released a dozen Chaos Spears, driving Zexion back down, then Super Shadow used Chaos Control tostop time. Super Shadow unleashed a flurry of punches and kicks, then grabbed Zexion and flew into outerspace. The Sun's rays began to disintegrate Zexion, when Zexion shot a giant ray of darkness at the town theyhad just left.*"No." Shadow whispered.*He threw Zexion at the sun, where he exploded, and raced back to Spherus Magna. Among the ruins, a verystill blue hedgehog laid, right beside the burnt hull of a chili dog cart.**Taking in all of the destruction, Super Shadow's fur slowly turned into a dark purple color.*"The only other Mobian in the universe is gone." Shadow said, voice full of anger. "Killed by the very maniacwho destroyed Mobius.""I WILL HAVE VENGEANCE!" Dark Shadow screeched, eyes becoming totally white.*As Dark Shadow flew off, a certain blue hedgehog's fingers curled more tightly around a burnt chili dog.******"We have won!" Zexion shouted aloud, standing proudly over his new prisoners. "I knew I'd win, say goodbye toyour kingdom, Jaller's Crab! I will destroy eve-"*Dark Shadow had rammed into Zexion, landed on top of him and released a Chaos Blast while beating Zexion,then threw Zexion up, snapped Zexion's legs over his knee, grabbed Zexion, and charged through the ground,and started tunneling his way to the center of Spherus Magna, with Zexion in tow.*"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Zexion screamed."Let's see if you can withstand the heat and light of a planet's core. I hope you remember destroying MY planet before we get there." Dark Shadow said, voice oozing with darkness and evil."What are yo- Ah, Mobius, my first planet. Why does that matter to you?""It was my home.""Ah, um. Oh cr-.""Have a pleasant trip."*Dark Shadow dove through the core making sure to tighten his grip on Zexion to prevent him from escaping,*"I'm coming for you, Jaller's Crab. AHAHAHAHAHHHHAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAH!!"

Edited December 9, 2011 by Jaller's Crab

[Fractual Forever]

O_O Whoa, what a plot twist! I've seen things done with Dark Sonic, but never a Dark Shadow before. Too bad the two main characters had to be kicked to the background for such epicness to occur... Anyway, it was pretty good! The random three zombie Matoran at the beginning - Priceless! Though your paragraphs sort of confuse me, they don't look so... what's the word? Neat. Yeah, let's go with neat. Other than that, it's shaping up pretty well. Hope to see the end of this crazy arc go with a bang!

[Jaller's Crab]

Happy Holidays to my readers! New chapters will be posted after Christmas. Feliz Navidad!

[Jaller's Crab]

I know I promised a new chapter, but let's just say I am not doing very well (I can barely move). So to my three (I hope) fans, the next chapter will come out when it comes out.

[Fractual Forever]

Don't worry, just take your time We could wait for as long as you want.

[Jaller's Crab]

Okay, I'm still sick. For now, I will let the readers post chapters. NOTE: This is a LIMITED time offer.Okay, I'm still sick. So for now, the readers can write chapters. NOTE: this is a LIMITED time offer. When I get better, this offer will no longer stand. Hurryhurryhurryhurrryhurryhurryhurry.

[Fractual Forever]

I'd like to take your offer, but no thanks. I've already got three other fics to take care of and I don't think I could handle any more. Sorry...

[Jaller's Crab]

ATTENTION: I am NOT giving up on this comedy. I simply can't write it in my condition. I am allowing ANYONE to write a chapterabout ANYTHING until I can. Use your imaginations, people! It does NOT have to have ANYTHING to do with previous chapters.

[Jaller's Crab]

Well, I'm not getting any better so far, no one's written anything. Effective immediately, this comedy is dead.