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The Legend Of Xian Bei Review Topic


Harlequin

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I've just skimmed this, and it seems interesting so far, but there's one thing I recommend... be certain to check what you write to ensure it passes the word filter. For example:

“Don’t count me dead just yet you cool dudes!”

;)

save not only their lives


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but their spirits

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Okay, skimming it...

 

The biggest thing that popped out to me is the odd formatting. For example, this

 

 

“What the ###### happened here? there isn’t a single Tarly banner insight”, whispered Cheng,

“It seems that the Tarlys have access to a new weapon”, I whispered back,

“What kind of weapon could do this kind of damage?”,

“I don’t know; but we shouldn’t stay here any longer, there could men of Tarly still lingering”,

“You’re right let’s head back”.

Should look like this.

 

“What the ###### happened here? There isn’t a single Tarly banner insight.” whispered Cheng,

“It seems that the Tarlys have access to a new weapon”, I whispered back,

“What kind of weapon could do this kind of damage?”

“I don’t know; but we shouldn’t stay here any longer, there could men of Tarly still lingering.”


“You’re right, let’s head back”.

This makes it a good deal easier to read, since the text doesn't look like a single blob.

 

I'll give more of an indepth thing when more is up. Seems interesting so far, though.

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