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Review Topic -- The Destiny of Bionicle

retelling

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122 replies to this topic

#121 Offline Yaldabaoth

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Posted Jul 22 2014 - 04:20 PM

Aw, man, that was a great read. I would never have thought to actually incorporate Boneheads of Voodoo Island concept art into one of Mata Nui's vists -- but now that you've done it, it seems so utterly obvious.

Big congratulations for thinking outside the box like that. You also did a good job of sharing just enough info that we got an idea of the alien culture, but little enough that they still had some mystery to them. And your musings on space-travelers in the Before-Time just makes me more and more curious about the wider world of BIONICLE -- the cosmos outside Spherus Magna. But I suppose we'll never know for certain what was going on there.

 

One thing, though. While discussing the Toa Mata's canisters, you wrote "the Toa Mata Nui been placed in canisters", which I assume was not your intention, since it makes pretty much no grammatical sense. I understood the spirit of the words, though. ;)


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New short story:
 
DESCENDANT, starring Kraata-Kal
 
Older stories:
 
AN EVEN EXCHANGE, starring the Makuta of Stelt
 
THE END OF THE BROTHERHOOD, starring Tobduk and Makuta Chirox

#122 Offline bonesiii

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Posted Jul 23 2014 - 04:56 PM

Author's Comments for Chapter 22: The First Chronicler

Note ["common practice"]:

This dual apprenticeship custom is non-canon.

Note:

You can see a LEGO interpretation I made of the sensors inside the spires here:

http://www.brickshel...nui_sensors.png

Which is part of a small-scale Bionicle project begun here:

http://www.bzpower.c...ni-nui-in-ldde/

[Sorry for the redundancy of that note for readers here. :P But that's the version in the story file. I did end up deciding not to include that image in the story itself; I could have had Mata Nui perhaps turn parts of the spires invisible to show the sensors to Koronga, but that seemed too convoluted.]

Note:

The cloaked spy probes Mata Nui mentions as being deployed from the Kini-Nui are not canon. However, it is known that "somehow" the Kini-Nui does help spy on inhabitants of the planets. I simply figured that invisible probes were a more believable explanation of the "how" than some kind of long-range scan "sideways" like the canon description seems to imply.

Also, my use of the “stone circle” near the Kini-Nui as the thing this Ice Bohrok is standing on in the image is non-canon as well. Canonically all we know is that a circle, filled with sand, was near the Kini-Nui and was used in the future to tell symbolic stories (using, for example, the Mata Nui stone). Called the Amaja-Nui, it may have been built by people rather than being a part of the robot's normal systems.

Note:

Just to be clear, this testing system is only theoretical. The idea is that it's another of the Great Beings' contingencies, in case Matoran Universe inhabitants were to somehow wander onto the camouflage island without Mata Nui noticing but then be found by the swarms or spotted by the Great Spirit later. We do know one other contingency system in case of Matoran being on the surface was included, so it's possible. This would sort out people who really belong from the hypothetical shapeshifting alien. Of course, in this case Mata Nui had to adapt it a little since Koronga actually admits openly to not being a native.





Replies to reviews:

lance -- Yep. See here:

http://biosector01.c...ties_and_Traits

And:

http://biosector01.c...cation)#History

Basically, the Mata Nui island creation was an accidental triggering of that system due to the crash. :)


TL -- I may as well say now that didn't end up having space to have that kind of thing happen, but we do seem to know pretty much what would happen -- the Bohrok, at least, would be sent against the aliens, and try to Krana-ify them. If worst comes to worst, possibly kill them. (Of course, if he had run into a world with tech more advanced than the GB tech, that would be different!)


NT -- For this story I decided to leave it as one of those mysteries that doesn't get answered. However, I do know the answer, and if I do make the shorter sequel I've been planning, I am pretty well decided that they'll be involved (taking place long after the Reforming of SM). Not 100% sure, though, or even if I really will write it, but I've got very specific plans written down, so I probably will.

Koronga mentions in this chapter that he's unsure about this, but I have in mind that the sword's powers work the same as normal Tool powers in Bionicle (like Lhikan's hoverboard flight power for example), which seem to work similarly to mask powers, automatically recharging after a duration of use. My interpretation of most such protodermic power sources is that the molecules grab whatever energy source they can from the environment, especially (non-lung-powered) oxygen reactions at the object's surface, and heat. But yeah, probably channeling the energy from "eating" could speed it up, if you knew how. Not something I chose to involve, though.

(Note that some protodermic powers instead definitely run out of power eventually, namely Kanoka, but masks made out of them don't.)


Yalda -- Yeah, the idea came from the need to put images in the story, and those images are so cool, so I thought of trying to incorporate them somehow as a result of that. Glad you liked it. And thanks for catching that (rather silly lol) typo.

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#123 Offline RahkshiToa88

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Posted Jul 23 2014 - 08:31 PM

This was another great chapter! This epic never ceases to amaze me! And Koronga putting on a fake Krana was one of the last things I thought would happen.


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