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REVIEW: Bionicle Mafia Uprising: Book 1 - Isolation


Voltex

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Ah, yes... I find it interesting, iBrow, that Xaeraz is the deceitful master liar, and you are the good-motived hero.

Not saying Xae is normally a hero, but you are normally quite the... well, you know.

 

Great story so far.

You obviously missed the part where Voltex admitted that he helped to design this death trap. That scene was from his POV, remember - at this point in time, he does believe he's all sunshine and daisies.

 

But of course, we all know better. ;)

 

I think by the end you'll be surprised.

 

 

I wanted an .45 caliber handgun!

 

Then again, the shotgun could shoot .45 caliber bullets.

Fired a .45 once, had a really strong kick. Also I don't think shotguns shoot .45, but don't quote me. I'm probably wrong about seeing as I've fired is a 12 gauge.

 

Anyway, that bit with meeting Pupwa was just... weird and maybe surreal. Had to read it over a few times to comprehend what I had just read. Glad to know I'm still relevant, granted it could be Xaeraz running around pretending to be me.

 

Also I need to do this:

BANG. BANG.

You shot me down.

 

BANG.BANG.

I hit the ground

 

BANG.

...

 

BANG

That awful sound.

 

Sorry just saw that and couldn't resist. One nitpicky thing: the first five bangs are italicized and in all caps while the sixth is only in all caps. I think you need to make the sixth italicized to remain consistent.

 

I'll go back and fix that; thanks for catching it.

I had to make Pupwa surreal, I just couldn't resist

 

If Zakaro dies, Pupwa has become all-powerful in Pupwa'ness

 

If Pupwa dies, I think his body will explode in a cloud of confetti

I don't think anyone would explode in confetti

After all, we must keep things slightly realistic.

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iBrow is talking about keeping BIONICLE realistic...

Even in Bionicle people don't explode into confetti when they die, sooooo

 

983,911 lb 4'7" people would cause structural damage by standing, and would be very much unaffected by modern firearms, but I'm willing to suspend disbelief for sake of the plot.

bBhcfWO.png

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I was not expecting me or Vox to survive... and of course, Pupwa is speaking Pupwese as always. Tahukan will be avenged... someday... and of course, I'm probably not helping my 'not a traitor' case by threatening to strangle Sumiki in front of the others. Vox at least will get to live.

 

Things are getting really interesting! Prediction for the future chapters: Almost Everybody Dies.

On Bota Magna, everything is about to fall apart.


 

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iBrow is talking about keeping BIONICLE realistic...

Even in Bionicle people don't explode into confetti when they die, sooooo

 

983,911 lb 4'7" people would cause structural damage by standing, and would be very much unaffected by modern firearms, but I'm willing to suspend disbelief for sake of the plot.

 

Except you weigh as much as the average Matoran here

Sorry to burst your bubble

y'know

realism

 

I was not expecting me or Vox to survive... and of course, Pupwa is speaking Pupwese as always. Tahukan will be avenged... someday... and of course, I'm probably not helping my 'not a traitor' case by threatening to strangle Sumiki in front of the others. Vox at least will get to live.

 

Things are getting really interesting! Prediction for the future chapters: Almost Everybody Dies.

oh my god how did you know???

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I'd call him by his actual name, but I don't know if he's appreciate that. So I stick with calling him iBrow.

 

Hmm. Have you read James Dashner's Maze Runner, by any chance, iBrow?

Indeed I have

 

Alright. I think I know what you mean about Voltex's role, then.

 

 

quick

jim

make giant fleshy blob monsters with pokey things kill people then

Did you hear they're making a movie?
The trailer looks interesting, though I'm not exactly happy with the choice of actor for Thomas.

Edited by Chro

save not only their lives


d665fa5c17bc200a946e0a69eaf11f929dc080cb


but their spirits

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I'd call him by his actual name, but I don't know if he's appreciate that. So I stick with calling him iBrow.

 

 

 

Hmm. Have you read James Dashner's Maze Runner, by any chance, iBrow?

Indeed I have

 

Alright. I think I know what you mean about Voltex's role, then.

 

 

quick

jim

make giant fleshy blob monsters with pokey things kill people then

Did you hear they're making a movie?

The trailer looks interesting, though I'm not exactly happy with the choice of actor for Thomas.

Get on skype and we'll see if you're correct. :P

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About that chapter....?

:P

rg hush and be patient.

Words to live by

 

 

Also, considering Voltex's rename, I'm expecting the same from the rest of you Bravely Default folks

Edited by Chro

save not only their lives


d665fa5c17bc200a946e0a69eaf11f929dc080cb


but their spirits

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Or you could just fuse with each other

 

And be Voltehks JiBlade

 

But that'd be crazy too

 

(And it's also entirely irrelevant, not sure why I'm mentioning it)

I want to see the "Voltehks JiBlade" :P

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Or you could just fuse with each other

 

And be Voltehks JiBlade

 

But that'd be crazy too

 

(And it's also entirely irrelevant, not sure why I'm mentioning it)

I want to see the "Voltehks JiBlade" :P

 

It's only the most highly sophisticated weapon ever.

 

Anyway, to get back on topic, I'm not sure how Voltex is going to resolve this in a chapter. Like the general confusion, and that the deaths are treated with appropriate amount of gravitas. It seems like everyone is trying to kill Voltex at this point, so either he's going to emerge very victorious in a possibly bloody victory (he might, that retired Bionifighter) or die.

 

I'll try to find some time to post a full nitpicky review when the final chapter is posted.

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Another fantastic chapter, as usual, iBrow.

Well, I guess I wasn't the Armed Matoran, after all. Oh well, Traitor isn't half-bad. :P

Not to mention that I was the only one who said no. Considering I said it...

 


“As for the explanation... I was the only one to refuse, Voltex.”

“Refuse what?”

“My place in the traitors,” Zakaro snapped. “I was the only one. Do you understand, Tex?”

---

“Voltex, I need to know that you understand,” the Onu-Matoran said. “You need to understand that I am the only one that said no.

---

“Before you shoot, I do need to tell you two things,” the Onu-Matoran said. “The first is a repeat: no matter what happens, Tex, remember that I was the only one who said no.”

..At least that many times, I'm assuming that's important. :P Juuust maybe.

Zakaro

Edited by JustZakaro

AGoNWLR.jpg


They call me Zakaro. You should too.

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Aww.. Well apparently I had a good run. Being the spy ain't bad at all and something I could see myself as. While I wish there was perhaps a bit more of an epic death besides 'Shotgun to the chest' but eh apparently he had a good run.

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